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《南方公园》第16季 第02集 South Park Season 16 Episode 02 "黄金换现金" "Cash For Gold"
I'm going down to south park gonna have myself a time
Friendly faces everywhere humble folks without temptation
Going down to south park gonna leave my woes behind
Ample parking day or night people shouting howdy neighbor
Heading on out to south park gonna see if I can't unwind
I like girls with big vaginas I like girls with big fat titties
Come on down to south park and meet some friends of mine.
夕阳老人院
爸爸 很高兴能来探望你 Well, dad, it was really great seeing you.
我们也很想留下来吃晚饭 We would love to stay for dinner,
但是这里的食物会让莎朗拉肚子 but the food here gives Sharon diarrhea.
说什么 兰迪 What, Randy.
只是想找个借口离开 Just trying to leave without being rude.
等一下 稍微等一下 Hold on, hold on, just a second.
我给孙儿准备了礼物 I got a present for my grandson.
比利 过来 Come here, Billy.
比利 你已经长大了 You have have grown up, Billy.
你该拥有一些昂贵闪耀的东西 It's time for you to have something expensive and flashy
来吸引女孩的目光 to impress all the ladies.
斯坦 打开吧 Go ahead and open it, Stan.
噢 看哪 Oh, look at that.
波洛领带是美国西部人的饰物 似套牛绳
波洛领带 A bolo tie.
很漂亮吧 斯坦 Isn't that beautiful, Stan?
用14克拉黄金加绿松石和钻石打造的 That's 14-carat gold with turquoise and real diamonds.
爷爷 这要花多少钱啊 Grandpa, how much did you spend on that?
六千块 $6000.
六千 Six thousand.
本来要卖五万呢 It's worth 50,000.
珠宝购物网是这么说的 The Jewels and Gem Shopping Network said so.
爸爸 你不该浪费退休金 Dad, you shouldn't be spending your retirement money
去买这些浮华的东西 on frivolous things.
你应该存点遗产 You should be saving it for when you die.
那是我们的钱 That's our money.
太漂亮了 爸爸 谢谢您 It's gorgeous, dad. Thank you.
明天是学校的照相日 Tomorrow is picture day at School.
斯坦可以戴着它照相 Stan can wear it for his photos.
太好了 我会非常欣慰的 Oh that's wonderful! That will make me feel really good.
斯坦是谁 Who is Stan?
斯坦 波洛领带不错 Nice bolo tie, Stan.
谢了 Thanks.
波洛领带现在很流行 Bolo ties are realy in right now.
你真会赶潮流 It's cool you have one.
这是我爷爷送的 好吧 Look, it was a gift from my grandpa, okay.
很贵的 It cost a lot of money.
哥们 看起来不咋地 No, dude it's bad ass.
花了六千块呢 It happens to be worth $6000.
六千块那么多 That was six grand?
这是亨利五世戴过的波洛领带的复制版 Ya, it's a recreation of the bolo tie worn by King Henry V.
哥们 太他妈娘了 Dude, it's fukcing gay.
我知道 I know.
真希望我爷爷送东西的时候就送钱 I really wish my grandpa wanna give me something as just give the money.
为什么不去当铺当掉呢 Why don't you take it to one of those pawn places.
每隔两个街区你就会看到一个人 Every two blocks you would see a guy
举着抵押金器珠宝换钱的牌子 wiht a sign of cash for gold and jewelry.
肯定有很多人这么做 There must be a lot of people doing it.
"黄金换现金"当铺
这不是你偷的吧 You didn't steal this, did you?
不 是我爷爷送的 No my grandpa gave it to me as a present.
太贵重了 我都不好意思收下 But it's worth so much and I feel bad accepting it.
我就是想要钱 So I just want the cash.
14克拉黄金 钻石 14-carat gold, diamonds,
绿松石 我给你15块钱 turquoise, I will give you 15 dollars.
嘛 我爷爷可是花了六千买的 What? That cost my grandpa $6000.
外面那一圈镶着的可是真钻石 Those are real diamonds on the outside.
我也没法处理上面的钻石 Yeah, I can't really make anything on the diamonds.
我还得把它卖给冶金厂 I have to send it to the smelter,
最后熔出黄金 have that all smelt down for the gold,
也许还就能赚个十块钱 probably I can make a 10-dollar profit.
十五块 15 bucks.
这家伙想讹我们 This guy is trying to rook us.
我们去别家试试 We can go somewhere else.
你别想占我便宜 Ya, I'm not gonna to be taken advantage of.
滚你妈逼的蛋吧 You may suck our collective balls, sir.
别担心 Don't worry.
旁边肯定还有别的当铺 There is gonna to be another cash for gold place around here somewhere.
"黄金换现金"当铺
这有一家 Here is one.
这是真钻石 对吗 These are real diamonds, right?
货真价实 你可以检查一下 Yeah, dude you can test them.
好吧 八块钱 Okay. $8.
这个波洛领带 This is the same bolo tie
和亨利五世戴的一样 worn by King Henry V.
九块 $9.
"塔可钟"连锁墨西哥速食店
欢迎光临塔可钟 Welcome to Taco Bell.
您要尝尝我们的多力多滋疯草玉米卷吗 Would you like to try our doritos Locos tacos?
我想知道这个黄金钻石领带能跟你换多少钱 I want to see how much you will give me for this gold and diamond bolo.
14克拉黄金 14-carat gold
每克14美元 catch $14 a gram.
在开放市场里 这里是4克 When you in the open market, got about 4 grams here.
真不值得花费我这么多时间 It's not really worth my time.
我想我可以给你换个六层的玉米煎饼 I guess I can give you a 6 layer burrito for it.
一个六层玉米煎饼 A six layer burrito?
你们店里根本就不供应六层玉米煎饼 You don't even make a six layer burrito!
那就七层玉米煎饼 Alright a 7 layer burrito,
我最高也只能出这个价了 But that's as high as I'm going!
哥们 我爷爷花了六千块 Dude, my grandpa paid $6000
买了这不值钱的破玩意 for something barely worth anything.
怎么会这样呢 怎么会啊 How, how does something like this happen?
J&G购物网 233频道的"迪恩鉴宝"
观众朋友 我们的节目已播了一半了 Folks we're -- half way complete with today's broadcast.
如果你想买这些宝贝 赶紧拨打电话 You want to get on in on these deals call now.
下一件商品是 Next item is--
编号4578111的商品 This is item No. 457-8111.
看这一对炫目的耳环 Look at these stunning earrings.
货真价实的假蓝宝石耳环 These are genuine faux saphire Earrings.
14克拉黄金镶86克拉蓝宝石 14 carat gold 86 carat saphire.
"假"是一个法语单词 Faux is a French word it has a
结尾的"仿"字不发音 "X" in it you don't pronounce the x.
够高贵冷艳吧 How do you like that for prestigious.
这对耳环市值六百万美元 These earrings go for $6 million.
今天特惠价 We're selling these today for --
三百二十美元 $320.
简直是跳楼价啊 That's a steal.
可以开始拨打抢购热线了 Now there go the phones.
热线灯亮了 They're lighting up.
已经有人拨打电话了 I believe we have a sale.
是否有买家拨打了热线 Do we have a sale?
是的 让导播接进来 Yep, let's get her on the line.
你好 Hello.
您怎么称呼 Who am I speaking with.
你好 Hello.
我叫薇薇安 My name is Vivian.
薇薇安 你太幸运 Vivian, you just got a heck of a deal.
您贵姓 亲爱的朋友 What's your last name sweetheart?
我不记得了 I can't remember.
你不记得 You can't remember.
那你记得你的信用卡号吗 Well can you remember your credit card number?
3715 3715...
稍安勿躁 薇薇安 Hold on, Vivian,
我们会有专人记下你的卡号的 we will get you with a rep take down that number.
感谢你支持我们的商品 Thank you for shopping with us.
祝贺你购得14克拉人造蓝宝石耳环 Congratulations on the lovely 14-carat faux sapphire earrings.
你真是抢到便宜了 And that price you practically stole them from us.
靠 真恶心 Dude. That's terrible.
我跟你们说 我都看一整天了 I told you guys I have been watching all day.
他们怎么都不用对商品负责 But, how do they get away with this?
在这个新时代 科学新时代 This is a new time, new era of science
只有最聪明的才看得明白 only the smartest can comprehense.
你在说什么 What are you talking about?
几百年来炼金术师都在试图 For centurys alchemists have try to
找到炼金的公式 come up with the formula to make gold.
只要找到这个公式 就会变得富有 Whoever can do it what if it cost can become rich.
这个化学等式就在我们眼前 The chemical equation is right before our eyes.
这就是炼金的化学等式吗 That's the chemical equation for gold?
是的 铺门口举牌子的那些人 That's right. Guys with cash for gold signs
减去你们这些人不想要的珠宝 get you people's unwanted crappy Jewelry.
加上电视购物广播频道 Which will added to a cable-based the shopping networks
除以老年人 就等于 divided by old people equals
黄金 gold.
肯尼 麻烦叫卡特曼闭嘴 Kenny, will you tell Cartman to shut up?
闭嘴 你个蠢货 Shut up, you're such an asshole.
我这么做是蠢到家了 I'm an asshole for doing that.
我的天哪 你敢相信吗 OMG, Can you believe this?
有人准备用四千块钱买 Somebody is about to get this
这个原价两万的铜制镶黄晶戒指 20,000-dollar topaz and copper ring for just $4000.
这位顾客的电话接通了 We've got our buyer on the line.
先生 能买到它真是给自己的好礼呀 You buying this is a gift, sir.
不 我准备买下它 No, I'm buying it as a gift
送给我的孙子 比利 for my grandson, Billy.
爷爷 Grandpa.
大家觉得这个怎么样 How about that, folks?
绿碧玺哦 That's Brazilian emerald.
这可是最好的翡翠 Finest emerald available.
要想获得此产品 We're letting this one go for
使用"简易付"只需1495 $1495 E-Z pay.
"简易付" E-Z pay.
我们这么叫是为您节约时间 We call it that to save you time.
"简易付"就是"简易支付"的简称 E-Z is an a abbreviation for easy.
使用"简易付"只需1495哦 $1495 E-Z pay.
什么 What's that?
好吧 刚刚得到消息 Okay I got word we're dropping
我们"简易付"不要"简"了 the "Z" from E-Z pay.
就是"易付"了 It's now just E-pay.
我们主持的时候由"简易付"变成"易付" By using the word E-pay instead of taking that time to say E-Z pay
就是为大家节约了一秒钟的时间呀 we're saving you a second of time.
叠加起来 Those add up.
说一千个"易付"的话 Go ahead and try. Say E-pay 5000 times.
就是为大家节约了5000秒钟 9个小时 That's 5000 seconds, nine hours.
我们JG是在给您节约时间呀 We just saved you here on the J & G Shopping Network.
没有浪费您的时间哦 Not wasting your time here.
您怎么可能买不起这个呢 You can't afford not to buy this one.
坦白说 您时日不多了哦 You don't have a lot of time left, literally.
把这个留给您的孩子 您的孙子吧 Pass this one to your kids and grand kids.
让他们知道 您的生命还有价值 Show them your life had meaning.
爷爷 Grandpa.
听到没 比利 You see that Billy?
那个绿碧玺镶了14克拉黄金呢 That's Brazilian emerald with 14 carat gold.
你姐姐应该会喜欢吧 Don't you think your sister would like that?
她不喜欢珠宝 爷爷 She doesn't like jewelry, grandpa.
总有一天会喜欢的 She will one day.
到时候就会谢谢我啦 She will appreciate it.
她现在还只是个宝宝嘛 She's just a baby after all.
她不是宝宝了 爷爷 She's not a baby, grandpa.
她都十三了 She's 13.
莎莉十三了 Sally is 13.
对哦 Right.
想起来了 Right, boy.
我以前有一条博德牧羊犬 叫帕奇斯 Billy, did I ever tell you I used to have a border collie named Patches?
说过 Yes, grandpa.
我好爱那条狗啊 I loved that dog.
她总是逗我开心 She always made me so happy.
她死的时候 我没有表现得很悲伤 When she died I, I didn't let myself get too sad.
因为我觉得 'Cause I thought,
我会永远记得她那开心的笑容 I thought I would always have the memory of her slobbering happy face.
我想不起来她长什么样了 比利 I can't remember what she looked like, Billy.
没关系 爷爷 这事我来搞定 Don't worry, grandpa, I'm going to take care of this.
克雷格 怎样了 Hey, Craig, what's going on?
好吧 Okay,
不过你老妈应该有些不大喜欢的旧珠宝吧 but your mom had old jewelry she won't miss?
你耳环上镶了莱茵石呀 You have rhinestones in those earrings.
想换成现金么 How about walking cash?
我可以给你... I can find the...
巴特斯 你搞个毛线啊 Butters, what the fuck?
不好意思啦 胳膊酸了 Sorry my arm's hurt.
胳膊酸 My arm's hurt.
给老子捡起来 Pick the fuck up Butters.
这是在做生意呢 This is a business.
喂 这个可以换多少钱 Hey, how much will you give me for this?
三块吧 Oh, 3 boss.
成交 Okay.
我们有旧珠宝了哦 巴特斯 We got crapy jewelry Butters.
现在就缺老年人了 Then all we need are some old people.
成交 这个手镯就卖给玛莎·塔布斯女士了 That's it. We just sold this Bracelet to Miss Marsha Tubbs.
玛莎 非常感谢你的来电 Marsha, thank you so much for your call.
你这是大赚了一笔呢 You got yourself a heck of a deal on this one.
还在线吗 玛莎 You there, Marsha?
我迷路了 I have lost --
我在高速上走迷路了 I'm lost walking on the freeway.
好吧 你在高速上走迷路了 Alright, you're lost walking on a freeway.
好好收藏这个虎眼蓝宝手镯吧 Enjoy the tiger's eye aquamarine Bracelet.
接下来看哪个呢 OK. What should we do next?
看到一个 很不错 Oh, I see one. Here is a good.
让我 Let me --
让我 来展示给大家看看 Let me, let me set stage for you here.
您要参加高级鸡尾酒会吗 You are going to that senior's cocktail party?
庆功宴哦 It's bingo night.
您还在寻找合适的饰品吗 You're looking for something to wear?
这个13克拉的偏尼偏岛迪戒指如何 How about a 13-carat panzotopanzanite ring?
它...哎呀 有人打电话来了 This is... Oh, we got a caller already on this one.
先生您好 您一定很喜欢偏尼偏岛迪咯 Hello, sir, you must be a fan of panzotopanzanite.
你好 Yes, hi.
你自杀去吧 You should kill yourself.
什么 What's that?
我叫你自杀去呢 I said you should kill yourself.
你的行为极度不正当 What you do is sort of unjustifiable?
你明知是不正当行为 And you know it's unjustifiable.
却依然要做 You don't care.
简直是魔鬼的化身 You are the definition of evil.
自杀去吧 Kill yourself.
好吧 这个戒指的话 只需3795哦 Okay. We're going to sell this ring for just $3795
买么 How is that?
我已经知道了 你们这里呀 I just read the day shopping networks make their most of money
就借着老年人领养老金的时候赚点钱 on the day seniors pick up their social security checks.
自杀去吧 Kill yourself.
好吧 您真不该说这些 Alright, You shouldn't say things like that.
因为我们有些老板说不定听到了就照做了 'Cause some host of a jewelry channel may up and do it.
你会惭愧的 You would feel really bad.
我才不会 No, I wouldn't.
你会的 Yes, you would.
不会的 因为我很认真地希望你们自杀去吧 No, because I really want you to till yourself.
那行 这样吧 Alright. How about this?
要是今晚我们哪个老板回到家 If a jewelry network host goes home tonight
一枪崩了自己 and blows his brains out,
你就坐等被告吧 you might be libel.
官司打下来要你赔270万 That's a lawsuit worth $2.7 million.
你觉得这个价钱怎么样 How does that sound?
我不在乎自己会有什么下场 I don't care what happens to me.
我在乎的是我爷爷 I care about my grandfather.
你们这些道德无下限的渣子 You morally corrupted maggot.
好吧 这样吧 Alright. I tell you what.
官司打完你赔2939... I will bring the lawsuit down to 2939
不是你给一个东西标个价钱的问题 It doesn't matter the price you put on anything.
要想挽救你所犯下的罪孽 Your only chance to right the things you have done
要想补偿被你毁掉生活的老人们 and repay the elderly peoples whose lives you have destroyed
你只有自杀 is to kill yourself.
你觉得这很好玩吗 You think it's funny.
打电话过来 That's calling someone and
叫别人去自杀 这可不是玩笑话 telling them to kill themselves. That's not a joke.
我没开玩笑 I'm not joking.
去吧 Do it.
好了 下一个物品 Okay, next item.
下一个要卖的是 Next item we're doing is
355216775 355216775.
这个...我的妈呀 你们自己看看 This is... oh my god look at this you guys.
这是一个镶着200克拉巴西翡翠的戒指 This is 200-carat Brazilian emrand and Plastecine ring.
这个开始的售价的话 80亿吧 I just start to sell this ring to $8 billion.
开价80亿 $8 billion opening bid.
今天就得卖出去啊 We got to sell this ring today.
告诉你们 我会降价处理哦 Tell you what. I'm going taking down a little.
我们就降价到75块9毛5吧 We are going to drop that price to $75.95.
这个价格已经是最优惠... And this price is the best ...
诶 有电话打来吗 巴特斯 Oh, we have a call alright, Butters.
75块9毛5 没错 就卖这个价 75.95. That's it. We just sold it.
请问买家连线上了吗 Do we have the buyer on the line?
-喂 -喂 - Hello. - Hello.
你刚刚买了这个200克拉的漂亮戒指 You just bought this lovely 200-carat ring.
啥感觉 How do you feel Mrs?
我是住在帕玛可24号的苹果·蜜女士 This is Mrs. Apple Bee on 24 Parmark Flat .
能问你个问题吗女士 Can I ask you something Mrs. Apple Bee?
你喜欢操小男生吗 Do you like fucking little boys?
啥 I'm sorry?
就是想知道你是不是总是操小男生 Just wondering if you fuck kids all the time.
这买卖真是让你乱操啊 'Coz that's what you did with this deal.
你刚花75块9毛5买了个原价80亿的戒指 You just got an 8 billion-dollar ring for $75.95.
真是操了我个狠啊 恭喜你啊 女士 You fuck me good. Mrs. Apple Bee. Congratulations, ma'am.
谢了 Thank you.
你是不是突然调到这个频道 Did you just turn on this channel
看到我在卖戒指 然后就想 and saw me selling this ring and thought
诶 我操这娃的 mm, I'd like fuck that kid.
我就觉得这个给我孙女杰西卡做礼物还不错 I thought it would be a lovely gift for my granddaughter, Jessica.
她是杰弗逊高中辩论队的队长 She's captain of the debate team at Jefferson high school.
好了 谢谢惠顾 Okay. Thank you for shopping with us
我要挂了 我得去去嘴里的骚娘味 I gotta go to take a load of lady dick out of my mouth.
-我买了 -再见 - I am buying it. -Bye.
靠 我演得真好 Man that's good acting.
应该给我颁个奖 I should get an award.
翻译：百万总舵主 蛋 胡好时
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校对：原子蛋 时间轴：三水 今
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后期：鱼骨头 总监：原子蛋
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你到底知不知道 Do you have any idea what it
失去记忆的感觉 would feel like to lose your memories?
你不知道 因为你生命中 No, because you don't have someone in
没有得阿尔兹海默症的人 your life suffering from Alzheimers.
而我有 Well, I do.
听着 孩子 Look, kid.
如果你对这个制度不满 If you got a beef with the system,
就找错人了 you're talking to the wrong people.
我们只知道熔化从当金铺 All we know is to melt down what we get from the
送来的金子 cash for gold places.
有一句古印度谚语说 Yeah, well there is an old Hindu saying
"谁熔谁卖" "Who ever smelt it dealt it."
没错 Ya.
又不是我们贬低 We aren't the ones who deny
你们的珠宝的真实价值 you what your jewelry was really worth.
那句印度谚语其实是说... The Hindu saying is actually @#$%&*@#.
什么意思 What does that mean?
谁贬低谁供货 Who ever denied it supplied it.
你们就是这世上的败类 You are the scums of the earth.
老人们被电视购物所欺诈 Old people are victimized by shopping networks.
而你们这些暴发户 And you kickback in your fat kat
靠暴利赚了上千万 margins making billions.
我们没赚那么多 We aren't making that much.
没有吗 You're not?
你们为什么不冲着 Why don't you yell at the
熔化金子的人们去喊 people who melt the gold down?
古印度谚语说 The old Hindu saying is
谁熔谁卖啊 who ever smelt it dealt it.
才不是 是谁贬低谁供货 No. It's who ever denied it supplied it.
你们都错了 You got it all wrong.
电视购物里卖的珠宝 The jewelry that the shopping
根本不是从我们这里来的 networks sell don't even come from us.
都是印度制造的 It's made in India
也就是印度谚语的发源地 where the hindu rhymes come from.
你在说什么 古斯塔夫 What you saying, Gustav?
天啊 你是说... My God. Do you mean --
没错 谁造的谚语谁造谣 That's right. Who ever made the rhyme did the crime.
以上几句所谓的谚语 都是些类似冷幽默的 "flatulence humor"的常用的勉强押韵的句型
你好 Hello.
欢迎 Oh, welcome.
欢迎光临珠宝折扣店 Welcome to discounted jewelry store.
听着 Ya, listen.
我在做转卖的生意 I'm running a resale business.
但是我没法弄到足够的 But I can't get enough of people's
人们不要的便宜货来维持经营 unwanted crappy jewelry to keep up,
所以我想从你们这买点 so I'd like to buy some of yours.
你真会做生意 太聪明了 Oh. You do so good business. You are so clever.
我知道 I get that.
我看看 我需要些金项链 Let's see. I'm gonna need some gold necklaces,
钻石手镯和翡翠耳环 diamond bracelets and emerald earrings.
好的 你想要哪款 Ok. What ? do you like?
我也不知道 我要那个戒指 I don't know. I guess I'll take that ring over there.
你可尊会选 Oh, you made so good choice.
尊好看 It's beautiful.
快看 尊好看呀 Look, it's beautiful.
还有那个我出300块 And maybe I'll take that one for 300.
哎哟 这可是最好的 Oh. That's the best one.
你太会挑 You're so clever.
你可真占了我们低价的便宜咯 You take advantage of my low prices.
这个手镯995块卖给我如何 How about that bracelet for $995?
你眼光真好哇 真精明 You got good eye. You're so clever.
我都没得赚了 你这么喜欢操亚洲女人啊 I can't take any advantage. You like fucking Asian lady?
你说啥 What you say?
我懂的 你经过我这里 I know. You walked by my shop
然后你说"那儿有个漂亮亚洲女人 and you say "Oh, there's a nice Asian lady
我应该进去 and I think I go in there
操她一顿 你这个亚洲娘们 我操" and fuck her. You Asian lady, fuck you."
等等 你花了多少钱买这些东西 Wait a minute. How much do you pay for this stuff.
我花了好几千呢 Woo, I paid thousands,
你这价钱真是操了我个狠啊 and you come here and fuck me.
好了 我才没有操你 Okay, I'm not fucking you and you know it.
不 不 你操了我 No, no, you fuck me.
没有 你才操我 我操你 No, no, you fuck me. Fuck you.
不好意思 不好意思 Oh, sorry. Sorry.
你知道 我想要避开中间商 You see I'm looking to cut out the middle man.
我想直接从你这儿买珠宝 所以... I want to buy my jewelry direct from you so that...
操你妈逼啊 Mother fuckers.
你们应该为欺骗美国人民而感羞愧 You should be ashamed of the people in America that you are exploiting!
你们怎么敢占比你们还不幸的人的便宜 How dare you take advantage of those less fortunate.
你们这些贱人骗子王八蛋 You dirty double crossing ass holes.
想甩了我吗 You tried to cut me out, hah?
偷了我的主意还要操我个狠 巴特斯 You guys stole my formula and try to fuck me. Butters.
不好意思 Sorry.
你们要把我操出这个行当 And you tried to fuck me out of your business.
我们才没操你 他们在操斯坦爷爷 We're not fucking you. They're fucking Stan's grandpa.
才不是 他们被亚洲女人操了 No, they're getting fucked by Asian ladies.
总有人在最前面被操 Somebody is at the head of this.
总有人要付出代价 And somebody has to pay.
我他妈的只是想要 All I want is some god damn retribution for
对我爷爷的补偿 my god damn grandpa.
不 我才不要钻石金项链 No, not a diamond and gold necklace!
他干什么 What's he doing?
这也许会有用 Oh, ya. Actually this might kind of work.
然后我们去了印度 So, then we went to India
我觉得挺酷的 which is pretty cool, I guess.
从来没去过那儿 Never been there before.
我们知道了什么叫 And we basically learned there that
谁熔谁贬谁造谁卖 who ever smelt it denied it and rhymed it actually dealt it.
听起来你这个周末不错啊 Sounds like you had a fun weekend.
也许吧 话说回来 爷爷 Yeah, I guess so. Anyway, grandpa,
我有一样东西要送你 I want to give you something.
给我的吗 Oh. For me?
天哪 Oh, my God.
是她 There she is.
老斑斑 Old patches.
看看她可爱的笑脸 There is that slobber happy face.
谢谢 比利 Thank you, Billy.
这个礼物很有意义 That means a lot.
比利 你戴的这个领带扣 Billy, that, that bolo tie you're wearing.
怎么了 Ya.
我不知道你从哪儿弄来的 I don't know where you got
但真他妈的娘爆了 that, but it's fucking gay as fuck.
行 我以后都不戴了 Cool, I won't wear it anymore.
这还差不多 That's a good idea.
各位 这不是一对 Folks, these are not your
寻常的橄榄"焦屎"耳环 average peridot craponite earrings.
它们是18k金打造 These are 18-carat gold.
我们有...有买家连线了吗 And we got -- do we have a buyer on the line?
您好 Hello.
你还在等什么 What are you waiting for?
自杀去吧 Kill yourself.
靠 又来一个说相声的 Alright, God damn it. We got another comedian.
上次那个小孩打过之后 Ever since that little kid called up,
所有人都想打电话 now everyone wants to call
让我自杀 and tell me I should kill myself.
他是对的 自杀吧 He was right. Do it.
各位 这是800电话 Folks, this is an 800 number.
每次你们打电话叫我自杀 Every time you call and tell me
都会耗费掉我们 to kill myself, it's costing us
2块3毛6 $2.36.
来个诚心想买珠宝的吧 So now how about a caller who wants to buy jewelry.
先生 您好 Yeah. Hello, sir.
你不敢是吧 You're too scared to do it, aren't ya?
真是娘爆了 You don't have the balls.
我靠 我才不怕 God damn it. I'm not scared to do it.
不 你怕了 No. You're scared.
你是伪娘 You got, you got lady balls.
你好 Hello.
我打电话来问那副橄榄石耳环的 I'm calling about the peridot earnings.
女士请说 Yes, ma'am.
跟你的尸体应该很搭 They would look good on your dead body.
你为什么不去自杀 Why don't you kill yourself?
够了 Alright, that's that.
我再也不能忍受了 That dare is the straw that broke the camel's back.
我这儿有把手枪 I got a gun right here.
你觉得这个怎么样 What do you think about that?
用它抵住你的太阳穴 Put it against your temple
然后扣动扳机 and pull the trigger.