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《南方公园》第16季 第06集 South Park Season 16 Episode 06 "我就不该去玩滑索" "I Should Have Never Gone Ziplining"
I'm going down to south park gonna have myself a time
Friendly faces everywhere humble folks without temptation
Going down to south park gonna leave my woes behind
Ample parking day or night people shouting howdy neighbor
Heading on out to south park gonna see if I can't unwind
I like girls with big vaginas I like girls with big fat titties
Come on down to south park and meet some friends of mine.
凯尔 凯尔 凯尔 Kyle, Kyle, Kyle!
科罗拉多四个小伙子 Four young boys in Colorado,
正历经地狱之旅 are on a trip from hell.
我受不了了 Ahhh, I can't take it!
谁来救救我们啊 Somebody help us.
被困于无人知晓的荒山野岭 无路可走 Trapped in a unforgiving mountain wilderness with no way out.
几个四年级学生深陷无法逃脱的噩梦之中 The fourth graders are in a nightmare they can not escape.
我们被困了 被困得死死的 We were stuck, completely stuck.
快 Hurry!
凯尔 醒醒 快醒醒啊 凯尔 Kyle, wake up, you got to wake up, Kyle!
四个小学生 The four elementary school boys
原本平常的一天变得极度疯狂 a ordinary day becomes a descent into madness
请看今晚"我就不该去玩滑索" on tonight's episode "I Should Have Never Gone Ziplining."
妈呀 Oh God.
不要啊 No.
本片故事发生于科罗拉多州落基山脉 为时四个小时
救命啊 我们被困了 Help, we're trap.
我们得离开这里 We have to get out of here.
这是一个真实的故事
今天是春假最后一天 It's the last day of spring break.
小山镇南方公园的所有学生们 And all over the small mountain town of South Park
都在想着赶紧乐个够 students are trying to have as much fun as possible.
对于十岁的斯坦·马什 For 10-year-old Stan Marsh and
和他的朋友凯尔 埃里克 肯尼来说 his friends Kyle, Eric and Kenny
这最后一天来得太快太快了 the last day has come too soon.
整个假期我们都在看电视 打游戏 We really spent the whole spring break watching TV and playing Xbox.
所以我们想出去找点刺激 So we wanted to go out to do something really adventurous.
我们可以去城市池呀 We can go to the City Pool
那里有水上滑梯 they have a water slide.
切 我才不会和肯尼一起去 他长疱疹了 No, I'm not getting into the pool with Kenny. He has herpes.
嘛 What?
瞧他嘴巴 你长疱疹了 老弟 Look at his mouth. You got herpes, dude.
才不是疱疹 感冒疮而已 That's not herpes. It's a cold sore.
娘们才说"感冒疮" 肯尼 Cold sore is what girls call it, Kenny
其实就是疱疹 It's actually herpes.
好了别闹了 都快没时间了 Come on guys. The day is wasting away.
到底搞点啥子算刺激呢 What is something really cool we can do?
后来不知怎么的 突然有人说起了滑索 And then out of nowhere, somebody came up with ziplining.
是哦 滑索 也许还不错 Yeah. Ziplining. That could be cool.
这个以前绝对没玩过 We haven't definetely done that before.
镇外就有一个地儿 I think there is a place just outside of town,
看看我叔叔金宝是不是顺路带我们去 I will see if my uncle Jimbo will drop us off.
酷死了 滑索 Cool. Ziplining.
滑索 好耶 Ziplining. Hell ya.
半个小时后 小伙子们就搭着 Within 30 minutes, the boys are getting a ride
斯坦家金宝叔叔的顺风车 去了滑索场 to the ziplining** with Stan's uncle Jimmbo pwoefplt.
我们心情都不错 一路上都说说笑笑 We were really in good mood. Just joking around, you know.
笑笑肯尼的疱疹什么的 Just making fun of Kenny's herpes.
肯尼老弟 你长疱疹了 Sick Kenny. You have herpes dude.
我差点就碰到了 I almost touched it.
恶心肯尼 不要啊 好恶心啊 Sick Kenny. No. Gross.
靠了 感冒疮而已 Dude, it's just a fever blister!
伙计们听到没 Did you hear that guys?
肯尼说那个只是感冒疮 Kenny says it's just a fever blister.
你这话真娘气 肯尼 是疱疹 You sound like a chick, Kenny. That's herpes, dude.
这屎玩意会搞死你哦 You got that shit till you die.
真是跟朋友们欢声笑语的一次春假出游呀 It's an eye zeal spring break getaway with friends and laugher.
你们好呀 是来参加两点钟的滑索之旅的吗 Hey you guys. You here for the 2:00 o'clock ziplining tour?
是呀 Ya.
好 Alright.
来戴上安全帽和装备 咱们就出发 Let's get some helmets and some gear and we'll get up there
去"慢慢"呼吸吧 hit the fresh nar nar.
然后他们给我们穿衣服 戴头盔 And so they put us in harnesses and helmets.
我们看到这一幕时 都觉得 I think when we saw it, we realized
"哇晒 真的好刺激哟" "Wow, this is actually pretty dangerous."
好了 小伙子们准备好去滑索了吗 Alright you guys you look ready to ziplining?
准备好了 Ya.
很好 跟我去等候室吧 Okay, follow me to the waiting room
给你们和其他人安排个座位 we have you take a seat with the others.
我们当时就傻了 "其他人" And we were like, "Others?"
我们要跟其他人一起滑索吗 We have to do with this other people?
你们好啊 Hi, there.
好啊 Hello.
好啊 Hi.
小伙子们于是发现事件的严重性 The boys have just made a sobering discovery.
对于十岁的斯坦·马什来说 For 10-year-old Stan Marsh
意识到自己要跟团出游时 the realization that he will be with a tour group
使得他的肾上腺速降 has caused his adrenal glands to slow down.
一般来说 人在亲朋面前会有某种表现 The average human acts a certain way arounded by friends and family.
但身处旅行团时 大脑不得不超负荷运转 In a tour group the brain has to work overtime
以表现友好 假装对其他团员比较关注 acting nice and pretending to care about people on the tour.
嘿 感觉咋样 Hey, how are you?
还不错 你呢 Good, how are you?
后来我们在那坐了差不多半个小时 So, then we sit there for like 30 minutes.
因为我们必须等一对迟到的两口子 Because we have to wait for a couple who is running late.
好了 最后两个人终于到了 Alright, our last zipliners are here.
不好意思呀 让大家久等了 Sorry, we made you wait everybody.
凯尔嘴巴里的肌肉勉强挤出一点微笑 Inside Kyle's mouth, the muscles contract to force a smile.
尽管他脑子里想的是"我操你大爷" Even though in his brain, Kyle is thinking, "Dude, fuck you."
没关系 We don't mind.
看到人都到齐了 Now everyone was there.
我们以为 好玩的要开始了 然而 We thought things would start getting fun. But...
我们还得先看安全提醒视频 That's when we had to watch the safety video.
欢迎来到"穷乡僻壤大冒险" Welcome to Backcountry Adventures.
哎呀 迈克你好呀 Hey, there, Michael.
哎呀 迈克你好呀 Hey there, Michael.
大概持续了十分钟或者十五分钟 It was, I don't know, 10,
简直是在地狱煎熬 may be 15 minutes of pure hell.
哎呀 别忘记 "慢慢"来哦 Oh, and don't forget to take in the nar.
交给你了 迈克 Back to you, Michael.
谢了 迈克 Thanks, Michael.
有什么疑问吗 Anybody have any questions?
没有 No.
我有 I have a question.
咱们能不能再看看"抓绳子妙招" Could we review "the best ways to hold the rope" again?
玩我吗 你丫还要我们再看一遍 Really, you're going to make us listen to it again,
就因为你自己没搞懂 你玩我啊 because you couldn't understand, really?
咱们出发去滑索吧 Let's get out there and get ziplining.
神仙上帝啊 Jesus Christ.
终于啊 Finally.
小伙子们以为痛苦到此结束了 The boys think their ordeal is over.
但他们没想到 But what they don't realize
事情只是从糟糕 变得更加糟糕 is that things are about to go from bad to worse.
出发咯 滑索去 Here we go, guys, ziplining.
大家上班车吧 Everyone just step on in the shuttle.
班车 Shuttle?
班车要坐多久啊 How, how long do we have to take the shuttle?
大概四十五分钟吧 It's about 45 minutes.
这真是灾难性的打击 It's a devastating blow.
对凯尔来说 简直难以承受 For Kyle it's almost too much to bare.
他的大脑已经缺少兴奋 His brain is already lacking excitement.
如今"班车"二字 又让他的大脑神经元 And now just the word "shuttle" makes Kyle's brain fire neurons
回忆起了班车有多没劲 that bring up memories of just how lame shuttles can be.
上吧 没辙了 Well, come on, we don't have a choice.
好了 大概45分钟就可以"慢慢"新鲜了 Alright, guys should be about 45 minutes to the freshest nar nar.
不如和车上的其他乘客互相认识一下吧 Why don't we go around the van to get to know each other a little bit?
不必了 Oh that's okay.
我叫皮特·尼克尔斯 这是我老婆多娜 Well my name is Pete Knickels this is my wife Donna.
那长话短说 And make a long story short,
我们是来看望住在摩押的亲戚的 we came out here to see our relatives who live down in Moab.
他们在那儿住了二十年了 They have been living there about 20 years now.
然后 长话短说 他们说 And long story short, they told us that
既然都到了落基山了 必须玩玩滑索呀 as long as we're in the Rockies we should try ziplining.
所以 长话短说 So long story short,
我们就看了看报纸呀 上了上网呀 we looked around in the newspapers and on the Internet,
瞄了瞄广告栏啊 and on billboards, and you know.
还是长话短说吧 Make a long story short,
我们发现了这家公司 觉得应该试一试 we found this company and thought we give her a try.
然后就打了个电话预定了一下咯 后来嘛 So then we called and made a reservation and that's when, you know.
长话短说 我们就... Long story short, we just thought...
第二小时
已经快三点了 It's almost 3:00 o'clock.
小伙子们还坐在班车上 And the boys are still on the shuttle.
我们就快到了 激动吧 We're getting close. You guys getting psyched?
然后小伙子们没有想到 But what the boys don't realize
一场巨大的暴风雨即将来临 is that a massive storm is brewing.
昨晚埃里克·卡特曼在加州披萨店 Last night Eric Cartman had Kung Pao spaghetti
吃了碗宫保意面 from California Pizza Kitchen.
在他的胃里 Inside Eric's stomach
宫保意面遇到了早上吃过的玉米面 the Kung Pao has just met with the Del Taco he ate for breakfast.
它已经开始扯裂烤肉汉堡 It is already started to tear down the layers of Barbecue BK Toppers
堆积多月的夹层 that have been building up for months.
现在 为了无视这些罗里吧嗦的游客 And now to compensate for all the annoying tourists,
埃里克正吞咽着大量的激浪 Eric is ingesting massive amounts of Mountain Dew.
内含的咖啡因和糖份 The caffeine and sugar turns
将他胃里发黑的快餐液体变成了毒气 the sooty fast food liquid in his stomach into a toxic gas.
当气体释放的时候 When the gas is released,
会带出埃里克排泄物的微粒 it carries with a tiny particles of Eric's fecal matter,
排泄物微粒上浮进入凯尔的鼻腔 fecal matter which flows up and into Kyle's nasal passage.
靠 你放屁了 Dude, did you fart?
没有 No.
好了 我们到了 Alright, guys. We're here.
总算到了 Thank God.
好了 Alright here we are.
看来今天可以"慢慢"滑索了 Looks like we got some good nar to zipline through today.
不过在我们爬上去玩之前 But before we climb up and start ziplining,
有人想了解一下这些树木的知识嘛 does anyone care to know about these trees' biology?
树木的知识 The trees' biology?
我们动作有点慢了 但如果有人想了解的话 We're running a little late but if anyone really wants to know,
我可以花几分钟解释下 we could take a few minutes.
不用了 I think we're good.
我想了解下这些树的知识 I'd like to know about the biology of the trees.
好的 这棵是西黄松 OK well, this is a Ponderosa pine.
它的分布范围广泛 比起其他... It covers a more extensive area than other Ameri...
等这个傻逼听完生物课 So after asshole gets his biology lesson
我们终于可以去玩滑索了 we finally get to go ziplining.
记住手要离开缆绳 Alright remember to keep your hands clear of the cable
让装置自行运转 and just let your equipment do the work.
当你们滑到中间的时候 Now when you're about half way down the zipline,
有个相机给你拍照 the camera is gonna take your picture.
所以听到我喊"放手西瓜"的时候 So when I call out "Shaka bra",
就抬头 对着镜头"放手西瓜" look up and give the camera a nice "shaka bra".
准备好了吗 Alright you ready?
好了 Yeah.
准备好要滑了吗 Ready to do some zipping?
好了 Yeah.
很好 大声说"滑啦" Alright let's hear you say "zipline".
滑啦 Zipline.
放手西瓜 Shaka bra!
哇哦 滑得好 Woohhoo! Alright nice zip.
感觉怎么样 卡特曼 Well how was it, Cartman?
二到家了 哥们 It's totally fucking stupid, dude.
真的吗 Oh really?
真的 妈逼的跟拉屎样无聊 Ya, dude it's fucking boring as shit.
好了凯尔 大声说"滑啦" Alright Kyle, give me a "zipline".
滑啦 Zipline.
放手西瓜 Shaka bra!
好像你的生活糟糕到极限了 It was like having a life suck out of you.
这样就没了 从一条缆绳上滑下去 That's all it is sliding down a cable.
可能不跟团会好玩一点吧 可能 Maybe without a tour group it would be kind of fun, maybe.
但这次 完全是个灾难 But this was just a complete disaster.
在无比煎熬的二十分钟里 After a grueling 20 minutes
等待其他人玩完滑索后 waiting for everyone else to ride the zipline,
小伙子们意识到他们浪费了大好时光 the boys realize they have just wasted hours of their time.
这时 不可思议的事情发生了 And that is when the unthinkable happens.
好了 我们走吧 Alright guys let's get moving.
只要十分钟就可以到下一个滑索点了 Only ten minutes to our next ziplines.
太好了 Ya!
下一个滑索点 The next ziplines?
你说什么呢 What are you talking about?
那个 我们不回去么 不是滑完了么 Excuse me, we aren't going back, now are we done?
这可是滑索之旅耶 This is a zipline tour,
我们还有十六个滑索点要去呢 we've got sixteen more to go.
这就像是 "砰" And it was like, "Wham."
不要 No, no, no, no!
大家回班车上来吧 Everyone back in the shuttle.
不要 No, no, no, no!
小伙子们意识到 The boys realize
他们的滑索噩梦才刚刚开始 that their ziplining nightmare has only just begun.
大家对我们即将渡过的这条小溪有什么要问的 Anyone have any questions about the creek we're about to cross?
有 Yes.
*我赢了小青蛙一盘* *I win the little green frog one game*
*我赢了小青蛙* *I win the little green frog*
她要滑啦 Let her zip!
滑啦 Zipline!
科罗拉多四个小伙子 Four young boys in colorado
正历经地狱之旅 are on a trip from hell.
上面那个滑索点 我们叫它"终结者" That zipline up here we call it the Terminator.
与一个旅行团被困于无人知晓的荒山野岭 Trapped in an unforgiving mountain wilderness with a tour group.
那个 长话短说 But you know to make a long story short
我今天起床... I woke up this morning and...
你给我们照相了吗 Did you get another picture of us?
几个四年级学生深陷无法逃脱的噩梦之中 The fourth-graders are in a nightmare they cannot escape.
我他妈无聊死了 I'm so fucking bored!
第三小时
滑的不错 Nice zip.
好 你下一个 瑞奇 Alright, you're going next, Ricky.
救命 救命 Help, help!
来人呐 我们被困住了 Somebody, somebody we're trapped!
快来救救我们 Somebody help us!
没用的 It's no use.
方圆几里都没人 There is nobody around for miles.
可能会有直升机 There could be a helicopter.
没准我们头上就飞过去一架 Maybe one will fly over head.
认了吧 斯坦 没人来解救我们 Face it, Stan, nobody is coming for us.
滑啦 Zipline!
真不该听你的 凯尔 We should of never listened to you, Kyle.
听我的 Me?
可不是你 早上在公园里 Ya you, in the park this morning.
"我们去滑索吧 以前从没玩过这个" "Let's all go ziplining. We've never done that before."
才不是 别往我身上推 No, don't try to pin this on me.
明明是你提议的 You're the one who brought it up.
我提议是因为你先提议了 I brought it up because you brought it up.
这时我意识到 没人记得 That's when I realized nobody remembered,
没人记得是我 nobody remembered it was me
提议去滑索的 who came up with the idea to go ziplining.
我 Me.
你个死胖子 You fat piece of shit.
尼玛 凯尔 Fuck you, Kyle.
伙计们 谁提议的有那么重要吗 Guys, does it really matter whose idea it was?
没错 Yes.
好了 大伙听着 我们能做到的 Alright, look, we can make it, you guys.
我们不能慌 We can't panic.
如果我们四个不去滑 进程就会快些 If the four of us don't zipline, the tour will move faster.
我们会从这出去的 好吗 We're gonna make it out of here, okay?
但男孩们没发现的是 But what the boys don't realize
埃里克已经到了腹泻第四阶段 is Eric's body is already shutting down from stage four diarrhea.
在他的胃中 胆汁刚刚分解了巨无霸牛肉堡 Inside his stomach, bile has just dislodged in Arby's Ultimate Angus.
对于普通人 这只会引发轻微腹泻 In the average human, this would only have caused mild diarrhoea.
但埃里克·卡特曼此刻在喝劲浪 But Eric Cartman is now drinking Double Dew.
属于激浪产品 A Mountain Dew product
但糖和咖啡因的含量是普通激浪的两倍 with twice the sugar and caffeine of regular Mountain Dew.
他恶臭的排泄物正在快速转化成浓厚的一坨 His rancid feces is now rapidly converting to a thick paste.
腹泻从埃里克的屁眼喷涌而去 溅到内裤上 The diarrhoea shoots out of Eric's anus and into his underwear.
埃里克·卡特曼变成了定时炸弹 Eric Cartmen is a ticking time bomb.
哥们 你刚拉裤子了吗 Dude, did you just shit your pants?
没有 No.
我只是尽量让旅行团尽快前进 So, I just tried to keep the tour group moving as fast as possible.
好了 我们就在这边休息边吃午餐 Alright guys, this is is where we're gonna break for lunch.
大家快来瀑布边上 Come in by the waterfall, gang.
不是吧 我们能不吃午餐继续走吗 Oh, no. Could we skip lunch and keep going?
免费午餐都不吃 Skip a free lunch?
我可不会 Not me.
谁要三明治 Who wants sandwiches?
我们有火鸡 We have turkey.
火腿 Ham.
火鸡火腿 Turkey, ham.
长话短说 我们带回... Long story short, we pick...
兄弟们呢 说真的 我肚子不舒服 You guys, seriously, something is wrong in my tummy.
那就别喝劲浪了 死胖子 Then stop drinking Double Dew, fat ass.
这是健怡型劲浪 凯尔 This is Diet Double Dew, Kyle.
糖和咖啡因的含量只有普通劲浪的一半 It only has half the caffeine and sugar of Double Dew.
天哪 兄弟们 我得赶紧找个厕所 Oh, man. You guys, I have to get to a bath room fast.
你在深山老林呢 找个地儿就拉吧 You're in the forest. Go take a crap.
如果在林子里拉屎 If I crap in the woods,
[注: 事实上会引来熊等食肉动物 而非海狸]
屎味会引来海狸的 凯尔 the blood will attract beavers, Kyle.
打扰一下 我们有紧急情况 Hey, I'm so sorry, but we have an emergency.
我们的朋友病得很重 Our friend is really, really sick.
你是说那个得疱疹的小孩吗 Oh, you mean the little kid with the herpes?
是 Ya.
那不是疱疹 是个感冒疮 That's not herpes, it's a cold sore.
是啊 抱歉 Right, sorry.
对 他的感冒疮情况恶化 不断失血 Yeah, his cold sore is really bad and he's losing blood.
我们得走了 So, we gotta go.
抱歉啊哥们 我们在山顶上呢 Geez, sorry dude, but we're at the summit.
想下去就只能滑下去咯 Our only way down is to zip down.
-滑啦 -滑啦 - Zipline! - Zipline!
那马厩呢 What about the stables?
对 还有马厩 Oh, yeah, the stables.
翻过那座山有个牧场可以租马 There is a ranch right past that hill that rents out horses.
他们肯定能带你回去 I bet they can get you back.
突然间 斯坦说他知道某个马厩 Suddenly, Stan says he knows about some horse stables.
突来的好消息令人难以置信 It seemed too good to be true.
我这么说吧 Let me get this straight.
你们想要四匹马 每人一匹吗 You want four horses one for each of you?
是的 拜托了 Yes, please.
好 我们给你安排 Well, I think we can set you up.
谢天谢地 Thank God.
看吧大伙 还是会柳暗花明的 You see, guys, this is gonna be sweet after all.
这边走 Step right out here.
我们带你过去 We will get you going.
又来了四个 邓肯 Got four more for you, Duncan.
嗨 Hi.
不 No!
科罗拉多四个小伙子正历经地狱之旅 Four young boys in Colorado are on a trip from hell.
身陷旅行团 困在马背上 Trapped in a tour group on horseback
每小时只能前进四里地 that is only allowed to travel four miles an hour.
我们能走快点吗 Can we please go faster?
我们在前面准备了午餐 We got some lunch set up for you ahead.
有火鸡三明治 和健怡型劲浪 Some turkey sandwichs and Diet Double Dew.
所以长话短说 So anyway, long story short,
1953年的早上6点我呱呱落地... I was born in 1953 at 6:00 in the morning...
而拯救这一天的各种努力 And the attempt to make a bad day better
瞬间变得极度疯狂 请看 becomes a descent into madness on
"我真不该奢望骑马会比滑索有意思" "I Never Should of Thought Horseback Riding Would Be Any Better Than Ziplining."
此瀑布名为"心碎瀑" This, here, waterfall is called Heartbreak falls.
大家想知道为何叫心碎瀑吗 Would you all like to know why it's called Heartbreak falls?
我想知道 I certainly would.
凯尔 凯尔 凯尔 Kyle, Kyle, Kyle.
醒醒啊 Come on, wake up.
走吧 不用管我了 Just go. Go without me.
不 我们不会丢下你的 凯尔 No, we're not leaving you here, Kyle.
我再也受不了了 I can't take it anymore.
为啥人们要说"长话短说" Why do people say "long story short"?
他们没有短说啊 斯坦 They're not making it short, Stan.
我站在那里 看着凯尔死去 I just sat there watching Kyle dying,
此时此刻 我想告诉他真相 and I wanted to tell him the truth right then and there,
但随后我的小宇宙燃烧了 but then a fire rose up inside of me.
我想我可以找到办法 I thought I can I find us a way out.
我跑开 开始寻找... I ran off and went searched for...
不知找了多久 十二分钟吧 I don't know how long, 12 minutes,
终于让我找到了 and that's when I found it.
兄弟们 起来了 You guys, get up.
听我说 下方一百码处有个湖泊 Listen to me. There is a lake a hundred yards down that way.
那有个码头 上面停着几条船 There is a marina with boats just sitting there.
码头 A marina?
兄弟们 我们可以坐船咯 We can take a boat, you guys.
说不定能一路返回呢 We can probably take it all the way back to Fairplay!
你想说啥 What's the point?
拜托 只有我们在船上诶 肯定很好玩 Come on you guys. A boat all to ourselves? It'll be fun!
还能出啥状况 What could possibly go wrong?!
以下内容 The following program
请酌情观看
为场景重现 contains graphic re-enactments
部分观众可能不宜观看 that may be disturbing to some audience members.
科罗拉多四个小伙子 Four young boys in Colorado,
正历经地狱之旅 are on a trip from hell.
被困于一42英尺的汽船上 Trapped on a 42-foot power boat
该船时速仅为5英里 which is only allowed to go 5 miles an hour.
你拉肚子拉个不停 把我们给害惨了 Because we're screwed over by your diarrhea.
关我拉肚子毛线事 It's not my diarrhea's fault,
是你叫我们来滑索 you took us all ziplining!
你妈逼的犹太佬 You fucking Jew!
玩滑索是你的主意 死胖子 Ziplining was your idea, you fatass!
几个四年级学生深陷无法逃脱的噩梦之中 The fourth graders are in a nightmare they cannot escape.
肯尼 是谁说要来滑索的 是我还是凯尔 Kenny, whose idea was it to go ziplining mine, or Kyle's?
我不知道 我毛都不知道 I don't know, I really don't give a shit.
对于四个小学生来说 For four elementary school boys
已成杯具的今天瞬间变得极度疯狂 请看 an already tragic day becomes a descent into madness on...
"我就不该上这逼船" "I Should Have Never Got On A Goddamn Boat"
妈逼船 Damn boat!
不是吧 别寻得一船恶臭 Oh no. You're not stinking up the entire boat!
要拉给老子到一边拉到水里去 You're putting the crap onto the side into the water.
本片故事发生于科罗拉多州落基山脉 为时四个小时
海狸 Beavers!
这是一个真实的故事
等卡特曼拉完肚子 After cleaning Cartman's diarrhea
大家击败海狸后 and fightings off beavers,
小伙子们发现了一个恐怖的事情 the boys have made a terrifying discovery
坐船 跟滑索一样无聊 that boating just as boring as ziplining.
船开得很慢 开来开去开来开去 The boat went really slow and it went around and around.
小伙子们现在若是觉得无聊而打盹的话 If the boys fall a sleep now from the lack of excitement,
就会死翘翘 they could die.
来 大家喝点激浪 Here, everyone drink some Mountain Dew.
我不知道 I don't know.
我以为 要是我们喝了激浪 I just thought if we drank the Mountain Dew
咖啡因啊糖啊什么的可以麻痹一下 the caffeine and sugar would help us stay away.
我叫卡特曼给大家也喝点 I told Cartman to share it.
我才不跟肯尼一起喝 I'm not sharing with Kenny,
他有疱疹 he has herpes.
卡特曼你妈了个逼 Fuck you Cartman.
科罗拉多四个小伙子 Four young boys in Colorado,
正历经地狱之旅 are on a trip from hell.
似乎不可能再悲惨了... And just when it seems it can't get any worst ...
肯尼 Kenny.
肯尼 Kenny!
肯尼·麦考米克无聊致死 Kenny Mccormick has died of boredom.
天哪 他们杀了肯尼 Oh my god they killed Kenny.
你妈逼的 You bastards.
不 不是他们 是你 No, not they, you.
瞧你这狗屁滑索馊主意 Look what your ziplining idea has done.
是你杀了肯尼 是你妈逼的 You killed Kenny you're the bastard.
不是我 是你 It wasn't my idea, it was yours!
是你杀了肯尼 你妈逼的 You killed kenny, you bastard!
最后 我终于忍不住了 And finally I couldn't hold it in anymore.
我说 够了 I said, stop it.
够了 Stop it!
是我 It was me.
是我的主意 My idea.
你的 You?
四天前 我无意看到一本滑索宣传册 Four days ago, I came across a brochure for ziplining.
我以为会很好玩 I thought it would be fun.
我只是假装这个主意是大家一起想的 I only acted like it was an idea we came up with together.
所以 从头到尾 都是你要我们来滑索的 So, you intended for us to go ziplining all along?
斯坦 为嘛 Why, Stan?
邀请三位好友 If you sign up three friends
即可免费获得iPod Nano you get a free iPod Nano.
邀请三位好友 即可免费获得iPod Nano
你就为了一个iPod Nano出卖兄弟 You sold us out for an iPod Nano?
我也不知道滑索会这么无聊 I had no idea ziplining would be so boring.
是你 是你杀了肯尼 You, you killed Kenny.
你妈了个逼的 You bastard!
斯坦你妈了个逼 You bastard, Stan!
翻译：胡好时 melont 鱼骨头 原子蛋
■
校对：原子蛋 时间轴：今 三水
■
后期：鱼骨头 总监：原子蛋
■
友情价值几个iPod Nano呢 How many iPod Nanos is friendship work worth?
我想 是一个 I guess one.
最痛苦的是 The hardest part about it is
你还不能换回来 knowing you can't take it back.
是个五代的Nano I mean. It was a fifth generation nano
没法转手 I can't trade it in any where.
不过后来 小伙子们的祈祷 But then, miraculously the boys prayers
神奇地收到了回音 are finally answered.
真是奇迹啊 It was a miracle.
他救了我们 送我们回家 He came to save us and brought us home.
你来救我们啦 You came for us.
-汉基先生 -谢谢你啦 - Mr. Hankey. - Thank you.
小伙子们好啊 咱们回家去 Howdy hoe, boys, let's get you back home.
我们得救了 We were saved.
一切都结束了 It was over.
在科罗拉多的荒野迷失了四小时后 After nearly four hours in the Colorado wilderness
小伙子们终于要回家了 the boys are finally going home.
孩子们从船上登上 From the boat, the boys were airlifted aboard
汉基先生的魔法直屎灰机 Mr. Hankey's magical helicrapter.
离家四小时 In the four hours since they have left home
小伙子们游荡得太远了 the boys have travelled so far
汉基先生不得不换成七屎七 that Mr. Hankey then had to fly them on his Seven Turdy Seven.
然后 又坐了一个小时的 From there, it was only an hour right back home,
噗屎快车 on the Pooh Pooh Express.
四个杯具分离的好友 Four friends, turn apart by tragedy,
如今将开始漫长的宽恕之旅 would now start the long journey back to forgiveness.
肯尼·麦考米克的遗体最终被送回他父母那里 Kenny Mccormicks remains were finally brought home to his parents,
其他几个小伙子接受了疱疹治疗 and the boys received treatment for their herpes.
不不 我没得疱疹 No, I didn't have herpes.
我就是感冒生了点疮 I just had a cold sore.
凯尔·布洛夫斯基住院二十七天 Kyle Broflovski spent twenty seven days in the hospital
清除残留在他鼻道里的排泄物 having fecal matter removed from his nasal passages.
斯坦·马什致力于唤醒人们 Stan Marsh dedicated himself to raising awareness
"滑索很无聊"的意识 about the boredom risks of ziplining.
他的唤醒意识视频太受欢迎了 His awareness videos became so popular
所以他又跑到圣地亚哥撸管去了 that Stan once again ended up jacking it in San Diego.
至于埃里克·卡特曼 As for Eric Cartman
他绝不会因杯具的发生而终止自己最钟爱的事 he refused to let the tragedy stop him from doing what he loves most.
两周后 In just two weeks,
他又开始喝健怡型劲浪 he was back to drinking Diet Double Dew,
秀起了自己的算术能力 defiant to dew the math.
健怡的 兄弟 健怡的才不会拉肚子 It's diet, dude. Diet soda doesn't give you diarrhea.