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* 欢迎来到南方公园 享受好时光 * I'm going down to South Park Gonna have myself a time
* 到处都是友好的脸 淳朴的居民乐天知命 * Friendly faces everywhere Humble folks without temptation
* 来到南方公园 可不要大惊小怪 * Going down to South Park Gonna leave my woes behind
* 大车小车随便停 人人喊着邻居你好! * Ample parking day or night People spouting, "Howdy, neighbour"
* 到了南方公园 看你感觉多自然 * Heading on up to South Park Gonna see if I can't unwind
*(你要听得清我说话 算你最厉害!)*
* 快来南方公园 让你笑口常开 * Come on down to South Park And meet some friends of mine
-=http://bbs.sfile2012.com=- 翻译: woomi 大清早 ◆忠│貞│煭 林赛 校对: 阿公 时间轴: 卡灰
南方公园 第十六季 第八集 讽刺球 BD版本调教：Tearemix 双语合成 Lv&daisy
Martonius Jackson拿到球了!他正跑向边线 然后... Martonius Jackson catches the ball! He's running down the sideline and...
看到那一撞没 Did you see that hit?
Jackson倒在了45码线上 他正慢慢站起来 Jackson stopped at the 45 and he is slow to get up.
这一撞可不得了 孩子们 记得明天要这样练 That was a great hit, boys. Remember that at practise tomorrow.
是的 Jackson被结实地撞了一下 不知道他现在在做什么 不过 Yeah, Jackson took a real shot and I'm not sure what he's doing now, but...
他看起来是在找钥匙 Dan It appears as though he's looking for his keys, Dan.
是的 这非常不合理 Yeah, and that doesn't make a lot of sense,
因为自从他06年那次脑震荡后 because ever since his concussion in '06,
他就没有驾照了 he doesn't even have a licence.
Martin教练走了过来想告诉他 Coach Martin is coming over to tell him that now,
但看来Jackson认为自己正在开车回家 but Jackson appears to think he's in a car, driving home.
在这个空档 让我们来欢迎这位嘉宾 Well, during this time out we're happy to be joined
NFL(全国橄榄球联盟)主席 Roger Goodell by the commissioner of the NFL, Roger Goodell.
主席 今年NFL发生了多起脑震荡事件 Commissioner, a lot of hoopla about concussions this year in the NFL.
联盟如何应对? How is the league handling all that?
统计出来的数据确实有点意思 Dan Well, there certainly are interesting statistics coming out, Dan.
我们对此非常重视 并一直在关注 And we are deeply concerned and waiting to see
是否橄榄球和脑创伤之间 真的有什么直接联系 if there's really any direct correlation between football and head trauma.
看来有一些NFL的前辈上场了 And it looks like some of the NFL alumni are taking the field now.
他们是"安全球达人"Martin Gregors和后卫Jim Harris There's AII-Pro safety Martin Gregors and fullback Jim Harris.
他的裤子显然掉到了膝盖以下 Looks like his pants are down around his ankles.
应该有人去告诉他下 Somebody should let him know.
还有神枪手 Mike Taftill And ol' surehand Mike Taftill,
他好像在烤一个无形的蛋糕 Dan who seems to be baking an imaginary cake, Dan.
不确定是肉肉还是面包 Yeah, not sure if that's meant to be a cake
或者是蛋糕 or perhaps a loaf of bread,
不过他肯定认为自己是在烤着什么 but he definitely thinks he's baking something.
我真是看不懂橄榄球 所以我才会打得很烂吧 Boy, I just don't get football. Guess that's why I suck at it.
不止橄榄球 Butters 你任何运动都很烂 You don't suck at football, Butters, you suck at all sports.
确实 Eric说我应该 That's true! Ol' Eric tells me I should work
去泰式按摩店上班 因为我啥都特烂(字面义:我特擅长吸) at a Thai massage parlour I'm so good at sucking!
没错 Butters That's right, Butters.
我们回来 布朗队 And with that, the Browns are ready to kick it off
已经准备好对野马队开球了 back to the Broncos.
好 好 看好了孩子们 All right, all right, here you go, boys.
好好看他们的开球 Watch them on the kickoff. All right?
我们不会再开球了 We don't have kickoffs any more.
学校说这是最危险的玩法 The school said they're the most dangerous plays
所以不让我们做了 so they don't have us do them any more.
等等 等等 Wait, wait, wait, wait.
卧了个大槽 What the fuck!
好吧 在我们开始家长会之前 Okay, before we get started with this PTA meeting
谁有什么重要问题要说吗? does anyone have any outstanding issues?
是的 我想说说学校的天才新规矩 Yeah, I'd like to talk about this genius new rule
玩橄榄球时不让开球 in the football programme about no kickoffs.
是的 我们决定不让开球 Yes, we've decided to go without kickoffs
因为对脑震荡的担心越来越多 because of the concerns raised over concussions, m'kay.
是的 我们不想孩子们在踢球时受伤 Yeah, we don't want our kids getting hurt playing football.
但我想我有更好的方法 But I think I have a way to make it even better.
为什么不让球员穿上胸罩呢 Why don't we have the players just wear bras?
- 胸罩? - 是的 Bras?
球员应该的都穿上胸罩 而且将钢盔... Yeah. The players should all wear bras, and instead of helmets,
换成锡箔帽 因为要知道 they should wear little tinfoil hats because, you know,
他们是未来的花朵 不能让他们玩野蛮的游戏 it's "the future" and we shouldn't be so barbaric!
胸罩和锡箔帽怎么会更安全呢? How would the bras and tinfoil hats make it safer?
你还没明白 You're all not getting it!
我们会用气球代替橄榄球 See, while we're at it, we'll have a balloon instead of a ball.
谁拿到气球就开跑 And whoever catches the balloon
而其他球员则抱在一起 tries to run while all the other players hug.
你认为学生们会喜欢吗? You think the students would like that?
他们会爱死的 一项安全至上的运动 They'd love it! A sport where safety is all that matters.
应该起个名字叫 讽刺球! How about we call it... Sarcastaball!
好吧 你愿意当南方公园 讽刺球队的教练吗? M'kay. Would you mind being the coach of the South Park Sarcastaball team?
天呐 Jesus Christ.
是的 我愿意当讽刺球队的教练 Yes, I would love to be the coach of the Sarcastaball team.
爸爸 我们真要穿胸罩吗? Dad, do we really have to wear bras?
是的 Stan 人们就希望这样 Yeah, Stan, this is what people want.
别担心 你看起来酷毙了 Don't worry, you look really cool.
Marsh教练 我拿到气球了 然后怎么办 I got the balloon, Coach Marsh, what should I do with it?
试着将它带到底线外 不过一定要礼貌点 You know, try to get it into the end zone but be really polite about it.
好的 Okay!
对不起 借过 你们好配呀 Excuse me. Pardon me.
You guys look terrific.
这运动太棒了 This game is great!
进展如何 教练? How's it going, Coach?
进展如何? 好极了! How's it going? Awesome!
没人受伤 孩子们上了 Nobody's getting hurt and the kids are learning
重要的人生一课 因为拥抱和安全才是 valuable life lessons 'cause hugging and safety
这世界需要的 is what the world is all about!
所以你喜欢这些改变? So you're happy with these changes?
喜欢? 我太激动了! Happy? I'm thrilled!
看看比以前好多了 Look at how much better this is!
好吧 Okay.
小朋友玩橄榄球安全吗? Is football safe for your kids?
一位担心孩子的家长Randy Marsh并不这么想 Concerned parent, Randy Marsh, says no
他还开始改造这项运动 and has started a movement to reform the sport,
并有了几百名拥护者 gathering followers by the hundreds.
这太好了 This is good.
谢谢你们的到来 Nice for you all to turn out
来支持讽刺球运动 in record numbers to show your support for Sarcastaball.
对 对 我们再也不要让孩子们 Yeah, yeah, we're through with our kids getting knocked on the ground
撞来撞去了 and tackled.
让我们把讽刺球变成 全国范围的学校官方运动吧! Let's make Sarcastaball the official school sport nationwide!
来吧 拍拍彼此的背 Go on! Pat yourselves on the back!
为了向世界展示一位担心的家长的作为 Showing just how much one concerned parent can do,
Marsh来到了华盛顿 站到了各位领导人面前 Marsh then found himself in front of the leaders of Washington.
就这么办 Yeah, yeah, let's do that.
我们经济萧条 大选在即 We got an economy in the toilet, a big election coming up,
国家的首要职责在于使橄榄球运动更安全 but this country's number-one priority should be making football safer.
太扯淡了 This is ridiculous!
我们真要这样去跟北方公园比赛吗? Are we really going to go out there and play North Park like this?
我都记不住是要拥抱后卫还是赞美他 I can't even remember if we're supposed to hug the fullback or compliment him.
一团雾水 I'm so confused.
这运动太傻了 我不懂为什么到操场去 This game is stupid. I have no idea how to go out on a field
向对方球队示好 and be as nice as I can to the other team!
这样吧 去它的 Yeah, you know what, screw this!
我刚没听错吧 Hey, whoa! I can't believe what I'm hearing!
我们练习那么久 为比赛做准备 We've been practising and getting ready for this game
你们就想临阵脱逃? and you fellas just wanna quit?
我们连比赛规则都不懂 We don't even understand how this game is played.
这比赛的伟大之处不在于玩法 This great game isn't about plays,
而在于运动精神和善良怜悯 it's about sportsmanship and compassion.
当我向四周看 And when I look around this locker room,
我第一次看见这么友善的人 I see some of the nicest, most compassionate guys I've ever met.
Token 你是我认识最好的人 Token, you're nicer than anybody I know.
Clyde 你在赛场上的拥抱比任何人的都温暖 And Clyde, you give better hugs than anyone out on that field!
这倒是实话 That's true.
我们要因为对方比我们更善良 Are we just gonna let North Park walk away with a victory
而输掉比赛吗? because we think they know how to be nicer than us?
友善是发自内心的 Being nice is about what's inside you!
敌善 我则善 When your enemy is nice to you, you just be nice right back!
如果他们给你两个气球 你就报以三个 And if they give you two balloons, well you give 'em three!
对 - Yeah. - Yeah!
当他们谢谢你的气球 And when they try and thank you for those balloons, you say,
你说不用谢 因为我就应该这么做 "I don't need any thanks. I did it 'cause it was the right thing to do."
然后朝他们报以微笑 And then you give 'em a smile!
当其他队伍向你靠近时 And when that other team tries to come at you,
你得感知身体深处 that's when you gotta reach deep down,
深到你那块黏黏的心房 right down to your creamy centre,
在那里有黏稠的善意和爱意 that place inside you where all the gooey happy loving goo sits,
然后利用它们 and you gotta use that to be the nicest,
成为最善良最有爱的人 most compassionate player you've ever been
让世界知道我们不会轻易认输 and let the world know that we will not go down so easy!
我们加油吧 Stan 帮我扣下胸罩 Let's do this. Stan, hook up my bra.
作为NFL的主席 As Commissioner of the NFL
我很激动能看到...讽刺球在年轻人中的受欢迎程度 I am so thrilled to see our nation's youth
超过了传统橄榄球 embrace Sarcastaball over traditional football.
但我们不能止步不前 But why stop there?
橄榄球如此野蛮 我们也应该进行变革 Since football is so barbaric, we should change too!
让我们热烈欢迎丹佛野马队的新教练 So let's give a big welcome to the new coach of the Denver Broncos,
Randy Marsh
恭喜 Marsh 好样的 Congratulations, Marsh. Good job.
谢谢你主席 我受宠若惊 Thank you, Commissioner, I'm thrilled to be a part of this.
- 谢谢- 好样的 - Thanks. - Nice going.
不不 你才是 Yeah, no, no, you nice going.
两位 Hey, guys,
快他妈拍张照迎接体育的未来吧 how about a nice fucking picture to welcome in the future of sports.
欢迎收看国家讽刺球的揭幕战 Welcome to the inauguraI game of the National Sarcastaball League,
今天比赛双方是 as we bring you today's matchup
丹佛野马队和奥克兰突击者队 between the Denver Broncos and the Oakland Raiders.
精神抖擞啊 让对方瞧瞧厉害 Yeah, looking good, guys. Let's kick some butt.
击垮他们 教练 爱人不是踢人 Give 'em hell, Coach! Loving, not shoving!
说得好 Yeah, good one!
这是丹佛卧槽拉拉队 And now, here are your Denver Whoop De Fucking Do Girls!
加油 野马队 加油 Go, Broncos, go!
给我他妈加油 Whoop-de-fucking-do.
现在由Celo带来讽刺球的主题曲 And now, here to sing the Sarcastaball anthem, recording artist, CeeLo.
我爱讽刺球 I love Sarcastaball!
他胜过橄榄球 It's so much better than football
好高兴讽刺球没有暴力 I'm so glad they got rid of violence in sports
看讽刺球真有趣 'Cause Sarcastaball is so super fun to watch
唱得真好 Celo 希望能在电视上多见到你 Nice job, CeeLo, good to see you on TV some more.
我是你的超级歌迷 Yeah, I'm a big fan of all your hit song!
你说我们没有教练什么意思 Dude, what do you mean we don't have a coach?
对不起 我爸说他要忙野马队的事 Look, I'm sorry, guys, my dad said he's too busy with the Broncos,
没空指导我们 he doesn't have time for us.
但我们和莱克伍德的比赛就这周六啊 But our big game with Lakewood is Saturday!
对不起 I'm sorry!
我爸对职业讽刺球的事很认真 My dad is taking professional Sarcastaball really seriously.
我们干脆打电话给他们认输算了 Well, we might as well call up Lakewood and tell 'em we forfeit.
不可以 We can't!
- 我们没教练 Kyle - 我们不需要教练 - We don't have a coach, Kyle! - Who needs a coach?
我们有Butters We have Butters.
- 对 - 你们说得对 - Hey, yeah. - The guys are right.
从现在开始 你就是球队队长 Butters From now on, you're team captain, Butters.
你来带领我们获得胜利 You lead us to victory.
我不知道诶 Oh, jeez, no, I don't know, fellas.
Butters 你比谁都懂这运动 Butters, you understand this game better than anybody.
但我不能当队长 我啥都特烂 Yeah, but I can't be team captain, I suck at everything.
这件事不会 Not at this you don't.
你说的黏黏的感觉呢? What about that creamy filling you talked about?
内心深处的黏稠善意 That gooey goodness inside you
让你成为不同往日的Butters that makes you the butteriest Butters we know.
在这里 它有时候都会溢出来 It's in there. It's overflowing sometimes.
我们需要你 We need you, Butters.
你是不二人选 You're the man.
Butters! Butters!
- Butters! - Butters!
- 我爱你 Butters - 我也爱你 美女 - I love you, Butters! - Love you too, ladies.
Oh, Butters!
你知道我对球队队长情有独钟 You know how I feel about the captain of sports teams!
别骚扰他 Wendy 他是我的 Leave him alone, Wendy, he's mine!
什么 What...
爸爸 又来了 Dad! It happened again!
黏黏的东西又出来了 More of my creamy goo came out.
没关系 Butters Well, that's okay, Butters.
记住我们说过的话 Remember what we talked about,
有时 黏黏的快乐感觉积蓄多了就会在晚上溢出来 sometimes our happy creamy feeling just gets so full it comes out at night.
我做了个好梦 梦到了女孩... I was having happy dreams about a girl and...
好了 Butters 那是快乐感觉 All right, Butters, it's happy feelings.
- 咱还是别说了 - 好的 爸爸 - Let's just not talk about it. - Okay, Dad!
留着以后用吧 Save that for later!
钢人队对野马队开球 比分仍为零比零 The score is zero-to-zero as the Steelers kick off to the Broncos.
野马队加油 Go, Broncos, go.
Manning控有球权 Manning has the ball.
他大力赞扬了对方球员 He's saying some really great things about the other team.
Manning遇见了Lamar Woodley 并且把气球给了他 Manning met by LaMarr Woodley. He's giving the balloon to Woodley!
裁判进场了 The referee comes in...
判定为达阵得分 The referee is calling that a touchdown!
等等 另一名裁判判定无效 Wait, now another official is signalling that's a safety.
干得好 候补裁判 Yeah, nice going, replacement refs!
他们要和边裁商量一下 They're gonna have to sort this one out with the side judge.
卧槽 他妈是得分 Fuck it. It's a fucking field goal.
耶 耶 太棒了! Yeah! Yeah!
教练 三比零战胜钢人队 Coach, three-to-nothing victory over the Steelers.
你一定感觉很爽吧 You must feel like a real winner.
是的 对方进攻很棒 我一度很担心 Yeah, well, the other team was just so awesome on offence,
I was really scared.
Belichick教练说我们没机会战胜野马队 Coach Belichick says, "No way we can beat the Broncos.
他们才换了一天教练 "They've had the same coach for almost a day."
没错 是我发明了讽刺球 Yeah, I'm just the guy who invented Sarcastaball.
我根本不知道如何去执教 There's no way I know how to coach it.
我们周日见分晓 Guess we'll find out on Sunday.
是的 Yeah.
伙计们 听好了 All right, guys, listen up.
别想休息了 明天继续训练 Forget about the day off. We need to practise tomorrow!
刚获胜后周一加练? Practise on Monday after a victory?
真"棒" Great.
这样想很好 Peyton 但要变得更强 That's good, Peyton, but we need to get better.
周一加练? Practise on Monday?
真是如我所愿哈 That's just what I wanna do.
这就对了 That's it!
- 嘿 Butters 有空吗? - 当然 Eric - Hey, Butters, you got a minute? - Sure, Eric!
我不知如何是好 I don't know what to do.
孩子们开始取笑我 因为我不擅长讽刺球 Kids are starting to make fun of me because I'm no good at Sarcastaball.
我真是不擅长友善礼貌 I suck at being nice and polite.
我干啥都特烂 应该去泰式按摩院工作 I'm so good at sucking, I should work at a Thai massage parlour.
不 Eric 你球技很棒的 Oh, no, Eric, you're a great player.
不 我没有你那种魔力 Butters No, I just don't have the mojo you have, Butters.
Eric 告诉你 每人体内都有种黏黏感觉 Well, Eric, I told you, everyone has a creamy filling inside them
所有的友善和怜悯都源于此 where all the feelings of compassion and joy come from.
难道你爸爸没告诉过你吗? Didn't your dad ever tell you that?
- 我没爸爸 - 对哈 抱歉 - I don't have a dad. - Right, I'm sorry.
每个人都有黏黏感觉 Eric Well, everyone has a creamy filling, Eric.
有些人会有太多 And some people have so much of that feeling
有时就会溢出来 that it comes out sometimes.
好多次我睡觉时 尤其是做到那些 A lot of times, when I go to sleep and especially
让我感觉很爽的梦 if I'm having wonderful dreams that make me feel really good.
有时我会醒来 Sometimes I wake up.
然后发现一些黏液会溢出来 And when I wake up, I realise some of my goo has come out.
矮油 这次量好多啊! Oh, jeez, there's a lot this time!
但我总是会保存起来 But I always make sure I keep it,
以备我不再快乐时之需 just in case I ever run out of all my happy sunshine feelings.
你全都保存起来了? You save it all?
黏液不是每晚都会有 My goo doesn't come out every night,
但我这里的应该够用了 but I sure do seem to have a surplus of it.
Butters 你觉得你的黏液对别人有效吗? Butters, do you think your goo might work on someone else?
不知道 我从没那么想过 I don't know. I never really thought of it that way.
有点葡萄漂白粉的味道 It's kind of a grape-y, bleach-y flavour.
感到温暖怜悯了吗? Do you feel warm and compassionate?
我勒个去 还真有 Holy shit, I think I do.
Rome秀 CBS运动台
欢迎回到罗马节目 我们继续聊聊讽刺球 Welcome back to Rome, we're gonna talk some Sarcastaball.
我等不及了 I can't wait.
迫不及待想聊聊讽刺球 因为它太刺激了 I can't wait to talk Sarcastaball because it's really compelling.
做客的是野马队教练 Joining me now is the coach of the Denver Broncos
兼讽刺球的发明者 Randy Marsh and the inventor of Sarcastaball, Randy Marsh.
感谢来访 Randy 很高兴能邀请到你参加节目 Thanks for calling in, Randy. Really happy to have you on the show.
很荣幸能做客贵节目 Yeah, it's awesome to be on your show.
Randy 首先感谢带来一项我们大爱的运动 Randy, first off, thanks for taking a sport that we all love
然后变成讽刺噩梦 好样的 and turning it into a sarcastic nightmare. Way to go.
谢谢 Jim 我就是这么打算的 Thanks, Jim. 'Cause it's totally what I intended.
我最初有这个想法时 You know, when I came up with the idea,
我就确信能有今天的结果 I was sure it was gonna end up like this.
确实能呈现刺激的比赛 Well, it certainly makes for an exciting game.
谈谈昨晚那场紧张的零比零比赛吧 How about last night's nail-biter that ended zero-to-zero.
那样的比赛我想看两遍 That's a game I wanna watch twice.
那样的比赛我想看四遍 That's a game I wanna watch four times.
更正 我会看五遍 Check that. I'll watch that game five times.
祝周日好运 Good luck on Sunday.
我希望会有让我看十二遍的比赛 I'm sure that'll be another game that I could watch 12 times.
更正 是十三遍 Check that, 13 times.
谢谢 Jim Thanks, Jim.
Randy 你不打算和全家一起吃晚饭了吗? Randy, aren't you going to come join your family for dinner?
对啦 我还真是有空啊 Sharon Yeah, I've totally got time to do that, Sharon.
事实上 要不我下楼 In fact, how about I go downstairs
去给大家做顿四菜大餐怎么样 and make a four-course meal for all of you.
更正 是七菜大餐 Check that. A seven-course meal.
Randy 你好像出状况了 Randy, something's happened.
你说话都要这么讽刺吗? Are you unable to stop being sarcastic?
对啦 我说话都要这么讽刺 Right, I can't stop being sarcastic now.
告诉你 Randy I'm telling you, Randy,
我觉得这项运动创伤了你的大脑 I think this sport is doing something to your brain.
说对了 它创伤了我的大脑 让我说话都是在讽刺 Right, it's doing something to my brain and now I can't stop being sarcastic.
你是认真的吗? Do you mean that?
是的 非常认真! Yes! I totally mean it!
帮帮我 Sharon 救命啊 Help me, Sharon. Help me.
好啦 第一阵容搞定那些外接手 All right, first string, cover those wideouts.
告诉他们 你们大爱他们的装备 Clyde Token Tell 'em how much you like their outfits! Clyde! Token!
去拥抱那两名选手 然后献吻给他们的四分卫 Hug those two players and give their quarterback a kiss!
Cartman 你个白痴 Cartman, you idiot!
积极一点 Stan 大家集合 集合 Stay positive, Stan! All right, guys, cuddle up! Cuddle up!
刚才那是怎么了? Now, what is going on out there?
那小孩想激怒我们 That kid is provoking us!
他故意说坏话让我们生气 He's saying mean things to try to piss us off.
就是 我们还需要你的魔力 Butters Yeah. We need more of your mojo, Butters.
好的 给你们 All right, all right. Here ya go.
很抱歉 Marsh先生 I'm sorry, Mr. Marsh,
你脑部受到了永久损伤 but there appears to be permanent damage.
哎呦 这下可好了 Oh, boy, this is great.
我这一周过得真是越来越好 My week just keeps getting better.
怎么才能治好呢 医生? How do we fix this, Doctor?
治不好的 很抱歉 You don't. I'm sorry.
在讽刺如何影响大脑这方面我们还没有足够的研究 There just isn't enough research on how sarcasm affects the brain.
那妥了 So that's it.
那我该直接回家 把这项运动对我造成的伤害忘得一干二净 I should just go home and forget about what this sport has done to me.
让更多的人受到讽刺球的伤害 Let thousands of people play Sarcastaball and get hurt too.
是吗 你认为讽刺与讽刺球之间有联系吗? Really? You think there's a correlation between sarcasm and Sarcastaball?
真的吗 有意思 请继续说下去 Really? That's fascinating. Please go on.
不是 讽刺球跟这一点关系都没有 我只是... No, Sarcastaball has nothing to do with it,
我只是喜欢讽刺别人 才拿这个当借口罢了 I just really enjoy being sarcastic and so I must be finding an excuse.
外面等候室里 有个五十岁的老年痴呆症患者 You know, I have a fifty-year-old Alzheimer's patient
他连自己家人都记不住了 out in the waiting room who can't even remember his family,
但是咱们别管他 专心聊聊讽刺球 but let's forget about him and focus on how Sarcastaball
如何会损伤人类大脑 might be damaging people's brains.
我儿子现在就在打讽刺球 My son is out there playing that game.
你这么关心他的安全 我真谢谢你了 It's heart-warming to see you have such high regard for his safety!
那好吧 我有个更好的主意 Okay. Well, I've got a better idea.
我们把为癌症和遗传病研究筹的钱 Let's get all the funding for cancer research and genetic diseases,
拿过来拍个广告 let's take all that money and make commercials that say,
就说"嘿 美帝 讽刺可能会对你的脑子不太好哦" "Hey, America, sarcasm might not be such a great thing for your brain."
谢谢你 医生 真是太谢谢你了 Thank you, Doctor. Thank you so much!
我是Jim Rome Jim Rome here.
嘿 我像大家一样爱讽刺球 Hey, I love Sarcastaball just as much as the next guy.
但有时这运动太刺激了 But sometimes it's so thrilling,
我需要额外的能量补充 才能坚持完比赛 I need an extra burst of energy to get me through a game.
所以我需要来一瓶这个 That's when I reach for a bottle of this.
Butters小黏膏 Butters' Creamy Goo.
你努力拼搏 You play hard.
你需要能补充额外能量的运动饮料 You need a sports drink that gives you that extra boost.
如今体育运动的核心就是善待他人 Sports these days are all about being nice.
那就让Butters小黏膏带你创造新的高峰吧 So take your game to the next level with Butters' Creamy Goo.
你心中会被好心情填满 You'll be filled with feelings of good tidings
- 你还会比一束阳光还要温暖 - 像我一样 - and be nicer than a ray of sunshine. - Like me!
跟上潮流 来买小黏膏吧 Get with it, and get the goo.
Butters小黏膏含有运动员所需的一切精华 Butters' Creamy Goo is chock-full of all the essentials an athlete needs.
承诺! 同情! 同志情谊!(Com双关Cum 精液)
现在还新推出了大瓶装的 And now it's available in quart size.
当我又累又热时 只有一样东西能让我重振精神 When I get hot and tired, only one thing can boost my compassion.
球场 我回来了! Now I'm back in the game!
快来一瓶Butters小黏膏吧 Go and chug a bottle of Butters' Creamy Goo
室温饮用效果最佳
42! 红13! Forty-two! Red 13!
阳光快乐! 阳光快乐! 开球 Sunshine and happy thoughts! Sunshine and happy thoughts. Hut!
哦不 那小孩要拦截了 Oh, no! That kid's gonna intercept it!
干得好 孩子 Good job, kid!
Stan! Stan!
- 爸? - 快上车 Stan - Dad? - Get in the car, Stan.
- 我们要回家了 - 什么 - We're going home. - What?
对不起 Stanley We're sorry, Stanley.
我们不想让你再参与这运动了 We don't want you playing this sport any more.
嘿 快离开球场 好吗! Hey, get off the field, m'kay!
大家 大家听着 Everyone! Everyone listen.
关于讽刺球你们有些事还不知道 There's something you all need to know about Sarcastaball.
这项运动 是绝对安全的 It turns out it's totally safe.
是啊 真是超级安全啊 Yeah, it's super safe.
这么安全 我们该让每个孩子都参与 It's like so safe that we should have every kid play it.
抱歉 抱歉 等一下 不能在讽刺了 Sorry, sorry, hang on. Gotta not be so sarcastic.
我重说一遍 Let me try that again.
大家听着 Listen, everyone,
如果你让你的孩子打讽刺球的话 你可真他妈是个天才 if you let your kids play Sarcastaball, you're a fucking genius.
卡 抱歉 再来一遍 Cut, sorry. Try this again.
听着 我想说的就是 Look, what I'm trying to say is,
我们真应该组十个讽刺球联盟 那样每个人都能... we should have like ten Sarcastaball leagues because then everyone...
我靠啊! God damn it!
Stanley 拿上你的东西过来 Stanley, just get your things and come on.
我们回家了 We're going home.
你不能对我指手画脚的 You can't tell me what to do!
对 我们只是你的家长 不能对你指手画脚 Yeah, we're your parents, we can't tell you what to do.
你看不出来这项运动把你爸爸害成什么样了吗? Don't you see what this sport has done to your father?
你也想最后和他一样吗? Do you want to end up like him?
得了吧 就好像他不是每次得病都小题大做一样 Right, like he doesn't exaggerate every disease he gets.
Randy! 他也开始了! Oh, Randy! It's happening!
Marsh先生 听着 Mr. Marsh, listen.
我知道你关心你的儿子 但是他是名优秀的运动员 I know you care about your son, but he's a heck of a player.
他很擅长挠痒痒 笑 和与人相处 He's good at tickling, laughing, and gettin' along.
听着 我已经说的很清楚了 Look, the point has been made, okay?
我在警告你 这么讽刺很危险 I'm warning you, being this sarcastic is dangerous.
我们不是在讽刺 爸爸 We're not being sarcastic, Dad!
我们喜欢一项不含暴力的运动就这么让人难以置信吗? Is it so hard to believe that we really enjoy a sport that has no violence?
你们就不敢相信 Is it so hard for you to believe
Butters是在真诚地告诉我们 that when Butters says competitiveness can be compassionate,
竞争中也可以有怜悯之心? he's being completely sincere?
我还真不知道谁能真诚地打这个球 I don't see how anyone could play this game with any sincerity.
那是因为你太暴躁消极了 That's because you're too grumpy and negative to believe it.
你现在需要的 是能帮助你 What you need is a sports drink that can boost your levels
关怀和善待他人的运动饮料 of caring and goodness.
是啊 爸爸 你需要喝点这个 Yeah, Dad, you need some of this.
这是精液啊 This is cum.
你就给老子待在屋里好好反省一下你干的好事 And you can just sit here in your room and think about what you've done!
就因为人们想改变一条开球规则 Just because people try and make football
从而使这项运动变得安全一点 不代表你就能 a little safer by changing a kickoff rule, doesn't mean you need to take it to,
"那我们为什么不直接喝对方的精液呢" "Why don't we just drink each other's cum?"
这么讽刺的做法代表你恐同 Sarcasm like that is homophobic, chauvinistic
沙文主义 而且完全不成熟 有问题吗? and completely lacking in maturity! Any questions?
什么叫讽刺 什么是精液? What's sarcasm and what's cum?
等你长大了我就告诉你了 We'll talk about that when you're older.
走吧大家 Come on, everybody,
我们来对开球的事想想办法 把正常的橄榄球带回来 let's work on that kickoff change and get back to some football.
欢迎回来 Welcome back to Rome.
你们中有些人昨晚可能看我的节目了 Some of you might have seen me on TV last night.
结果发现我超爱的饮料是精液 Turns out the drink I endorsed was semen.
结果是个小孩在讽刺我们 Turns out a little kid was just being sarcastic.
那小孩可能会被禁足一个月 That kid's probably grounded for a month.
更正 我肯定 他会被禁足两个月 Check that. I'm sure he's grounded for two months.
又一周 And a week.
橄榄球需要变得安全一些 Football needs to be made safer,
所以我们就让运动员 穿着胸罩喝精液吧 so why don't we have players in bras drinking semen.
恩 他这招可真漂亮 Yeah, that's a fastball right there.
是一个哲学天才的大胆尝试 That's a real stroke of philosophic genius.
让小孩喝精液 从而重振橄榄球 More little kids drinking semen to finally bring back real football,
我真不知道还能说什么了 再见了讽刺球 and I don't know what else to say but so long, Sarcastaball,
但很高兴曾经认识你 it was nice knowing you.
我们只能希望此类事情不会再次发生 Let's just hope nothing like this ever happens again.
应该不会了 至少一年内不会 Probably won't. Not for another year.
更正 几天内不会 Check that, a couple days.
爸! 爸爸! Dad! Hey, Dad!
怎么了? What?
我的小弟弟硬硬地竖起来了! My wiener's all stiff and pointy.
Butters 那是友谊指针 Oh, well, Butters.
That's just the friendly compass.
你看 只要你的朋友出现在附近 See, whenever you have friends in the area,
你的小指针就会告诉你他们在哪儿 your little compass there tells you where they are.
它指向天上因为耶稣是你的朋友 It's pointing up because Jesus is your friend.
谢谢你 爸爸 Thanks, Dad.
南方公园 第十六季 第八集