本字幕由YYeTs人人影视 原创翻译制作 仅供学习 禁止用于任何商业盈利行为 更多影视更新 请登陆 www.YYeTs.com
■
I'm going down to south park gonna have myself a time
Friendly faces everywhere humble folks without temptation
Going down to south park gonna leave my woes behind
Ample parking day or night people shouting howdy neighbor
Heading on out to south park gonna see if I can't unwind
I like girls with big vaginas I like girls with big fat titties
Come on down to south park and meet some friends of mine.
《南方公园》第16季 第13集 South Park Season 16 Episode 13 "腕带风波"
沃尔格林医药连锁店 24小时营业
下一位 Next please!
你确定要这样做吗 You are sure you want to do this?
我当然确定 Of course I'm sure!
好 把袖子卷起来 Okay, roll up your sleeve.
安全移除你的腕套
不敢相信 我们全被骗了 I can't believe we all got duped.
这个傻逼东西我戴了好几个月 I been wearing this stupid thing for months.
我居然被任意摆布 I feel like such a tool.
满口胡话的骗子 Lying jerk!
请别动 Hold still, please.
我都不知道该信什么了 I don't know what to believe in anymore.
好 赶紧吧 Alright, let's do this.
看你再让我相信什么狗屁话 Make me believe in something that's bullshit will you?!
等一下 Uh, hold on.
我看看啊 那根 Uh, let's see. That one.
傻逼骗子 Stupid fraud!
总算摆脱你了 Good riddens to you!!!
我是下一个 我是下一个 Alright, I'm next! I'm next!
把这东西给我弄掉 Get this thing off a me!
-剪掉了吗 -剪掉了 - Did you do it? - Yup, it's done.
这傻逼东西还花了我五块钱呢 You know I spent five bucks on that stupid thing?!
我就说肯定不是什么好货 I told you it was a bad idea.
省省吧 肯尼 Oh don't even start, Kenny.
你们是没买腕带 Just because you guys didn't buy into bracelets,
但这不代表你们比我聪明 doesn't mean. You're smarter than me. Okay.
他怎么了 What's wrong with him?
我真是个傻蛋 Oh, I feel like such an idiot.
没什么 爸爸 It's alright, dad.
但我随身都戴着那个腕带 But I wore that wristband everywhere
这家伙就是一个大骗子 and the guy is a complete phony!
今天又有新消息了 There's even more coming out about it today!
最新的检测报告又一次表明 These latest tests are once again confirming that the
耶稣在受难时候 performance enhancing drug HGH was in the body of Christ
体内含有HGH激素 at the time of crucifixion.
全国人民都把写有"耶稣会怎么做"的腕带 All over the country people are having their 'what would Jesus
从手腕上剪掉 do' wristbands cut off.
上周 一组科学家在"耶稣裹尸布"上 It was just a last week a team of scientists found traces of
发现了HGH的痕迹 HGH on the shroud of turin.
且含有一系列其他非法的化学药品和止疼剂 Along with several other illegal compounds and pain killers.
毫无疑问 耶稣在受难时候 Without a doubt, there was HGH in the body of Christ at the
体内含有HGH激素 time of crucifixion.
耶稣没有替我们承受痛苦 反而很爽 Jesus did not suffer for our sins, he was, in fact, very high.
这么多年一直被假象蒙蔽 All the years of being told something.
太不公平了 It's just so unfair.
神父和主教们正在加班加点 Priests and bishops have been working overtime to remove Jesus
把耶稣从书中和《最后的晚餐》中移除 from the record books and from the last supper.
耶稣给教堂带来了耻辱
我感到非常遗憾
对于使用非法手段来创造奇迹的神
我们绝不能姑息
那么多人花10块钱买了腕带 I know people that paid ten bucks for those bracelets.
现在肯定觉得自己傻逼到家了 I bet they all feel pretty stupid now.
翻译：迷你黑 东篱把酒 foxer 胡好时 Bazinga
■
校对：原子蛋 时间轴：今 三水
■
后期：凉风有信 总监：原子蛋
■
然后我就去问牧师 Yeah, and so... and so then I asked preacher,
那《新约》怎么办啊 wul, what about The New Testament?
他说 《新约》还是要看的 And he says, well, you still should otta read it,
但是耶稣名字出现的地方 but you're. Gonna need to put an asterisk
一定要加个星号 next to Jesus' name whenever it comes up.
弱暴了 So weak, dude.
现在真是黑暗的时刻啊 兄弟 Dark times, bra, dark times.
喂 你搞毛啊 Dude, what the hell?
你戴着"耶稣会怎么做"的腕带 You're wearing a what would Jesus do bracelet!
好吧好吧 我几个礼拜之前买的 Alright, alright, I got it a few weeks ago.
没什么大不了 Big whoop.
问题不是你买了这个 The big whoop isn't that you have one, the big whoop is that
而是你现在还戴着它 you're still wearing it!
是啊 斯坦 你没听说吗 Yeah, Stan, didn't you hear
耶稣的奇迹都是嗑药取得的 Jesus did all his miracles on drugs.
是的 我知道 Yeah, I know.
你觉得没关系吗 Wul, don't you care?
我的耶稣星号基督 斯坦 Jesus asterisk Christ, Stan,
人们都觉得自己被他给骗了 people are really feeling cheated by all this!
我该去哪 Where do I go?
我该干嘛 What do I do?
卡特曼说的对 Cartman's right.
如果你的心里还有公正 If you care about fairness,
那就得把腕带剪掉 Stan then you really have to lose the bracelet.
我就是不想剪 Look, I just don't want to you guys.
又不是什么大事 Honestly, it's not that big a deal.
查理·罗斯 访谈录 It's the Charlie Rose Show.
主持人 恰克 Here's Chuck.
我们今天请来的嘉宾 是这个国家里 We are here tonight with the only person in America who still
唯一一个还戴着"耶稣会怎么做"腕带的人 wears his 'what would Jesus do' wristband.
欢迎 斯坦·马什 Please welcome Stan Marsh.
二逼 Dick!
斯坦 事情真相揭露了 证据确凿无误 Stan after everything that's come out, after all the facts
你为什么还要戴着这个腕带 have been proven, why do you still wear the wristband?
我不知道 我只是喜欢 I dunno, I just like it.
你只是喜欢 You just like it.
对 我也不知道 Yeah, I don't know.
我戴了很久 I've had it a long time.
不想剪掉 I just don't feel like cutting it off.
下面我们来连线几十亿普通人民中的一位 Well, joining us now is just one of billions of people who think
那些带着他们的 that anyone who still wears
"铭记耶稣"的手环的人 their what would Jesus do wristband
都是在给社会添乱子 is doing all of society a disservice.
克里斯·马汀 你认为斯坦·马什是 Chris Martin you say that Stan Marsh is -
克里斯·马汀: 酷玩乐队主唱
混蛋吗 A dick?
是的 是的 谢谢你 查理 Yeah, yeah, thanks, Charlie.
我觉得这孩子不注重事实 My problem with this kid is he doesn't care about the truth.
好吧 耶稣吃了仙丹 满血复活 Okay, if Jesus rose from the dead with the help of drugs.
也就算了 That's fine,
但是之后他非得说是自己显灵了 but then he went on to say it was a miracle,
这造就了危机 and that is where it became dangerous.
那些印加人呢 What about the Incas?
还有阿兹特克人呢 What about the Aztecs?
百万人都因为耶稣之名而被屠杀 Millions of people who were murdered in Jesus' name,
证明耶稣就是个骗子而已 and then Jesus turns out to be a fraud.
带那个手环就是打所有人的嘴巴 Wearing that bracelet is a slap in the face to everyone.
你怎么认为呢 斯坦 What do you say about that, Stan?
我也不知道 我就是喜欢 I don't know. I like it.
好吧 我们找了一圈我的下位嘉宾 Alright. Well, we searched high and low to find my next guest,
他很赞同斯坦·马什的观点 who actually agrees with Stan Marsh
也认为他在做正确的事情 and thinks he's doing the right thing.
有请蠢鱼 Please welcome a retarded fish.
请问 蠢鱼 Now, retarded fish
你对大家继续带着手环有什么意见吗 you don't see any problem at all with someone keeping their bracelet?
那是因为 那是因为你是条蠢鱼 That's because...that's because you're a retarded fish
而你屁都不懂 and you don't know any better!
那么十字军东征呢 What about the crusades?
还有异教徒审判呢 The inquisitions?
有多少人因为一个骗子 How many people were tortured
而被折磨甚至屠戮啊 and put to death for somebody who was a fake?
你怎么认为十字军东征 斯坦 What about the crusades, Stan?
这一点都没影响你的决断吗 Does that enter into your decision at all?
没有 我只是 我不知道 没有吧 No, I just...I don't know. No.
有什么要补充的吗 蠢鱼 Anything to add, retarded fish?
没 没有 我没什么意见 谢谢 No. No, I'm good. Thank you.
斯坦 斯坦 我能和你聊聊吗 Stan! Hey Stan, can I talk to you?
听着 斯坦 我只是想告诉你 Listen Stan, I just wanna tell you...
你太励志了 好么 You've really been an inspiration, mkay.
我有吗 I have?
是的 你知道 我不再相信耶稣了 Yeah, you know, I can't believe in Jesus any more
因为他就是个大骗子 because he's a damn fraud
而我要相信的是 so what I'm gonna believe in,
就是做自己 坚持自我 像你那样 is just being me and being independent like you.
所以我买了这个棕色的手环 So what I did is I got this brown bracelet to
提醒自己坚持自我 好么 Remind me of standing my ground, mkay.
而且要相信做自己的理由 And just believing in the cause of being me.
你带着手环来向我学习吗 You're wearing a bracelet to think of me?
不是只有我啊 Oh I'm not the only one.
有很多人都在这么做 There's lots of people doing it!
巴特斯 坚持自己 Hey Butters - Stanground!
坚持自己 麦基先生 Stanground, mister Makey!
不管怎样 谢谢你 斯坦 Anyway, thanks Stan.
你要坚持 死守立场 好么 You just keep on, keep on standing your ground, mkay.
你也戴上了棕色手环了吗 巴特斯 You're wearing a brown bracelet now, Butters?
对的呀 Wul yeah!
它提醒我 不要再退缩 It helps remind me that I shouldn't back down anymore
即使是在被他人施压的情况下 When I feel pressured from other people!
看过你为那些白俄罗斯的农民做的事 I just got really moved after I saw what you did for all those
我很感动 farmers in Belarus.
哪里的农民 Farmers in where?
走开 农民们
这些地不再属于你们了
我们不会走开的
我们要死守立场
就像查理·罗斯访谈录上的那个孩子一样
兄弟 大家是在哪里搞到棕色手环的呀 Dude, where are people getting all the brown wristbands?
我不知道 我的是在便利店买的 I don't know. I got mine down at 7-11.
看到了吗 就在这里 See? Right here.
你好 你想买"斯"守立场腕带 Hello. You interested in a Stanground brace...
哇塞 是你 Oh wow, it's you!!!
斯守立场 哥们 Stanground, bro!
这一切可来的真快啊 Wow, this is happening so fast.
你好 斯坦 Hello, Stan.
我是史蒂夫·尼尔森 这是授权书 Steve Nelson with endorsement management.
准备好拍耐克广告了吗 Are you ready for your Nike commercial?
准备好了 Yes.
我的朋友都说我疯了 My friends told me I was crazy.
说我是在浪费时间 That I was wasting my time.
但我只是死守立场 But my cause is to stand my ground.
其他人放弃时 我还坚持戴着腕带 When others sat, I kept my bracelet on.
因为我 为立场而立 Because I stand... for standing.
请您就座 Would you like to be seated?
谢了 我立着就好 No, thanks, I'll stand.
你想坐下吗 Hey, you wanna sit down?
我没事的 I'm good.
先生 机长请大家坐在座位上 Sir, the captain has asked everyone to take their seats...
告诉机长起飞吧 Tell the captain to take off.
人们问我 你从没把腕带拿下来过 People ask me... you never took the bracelet off?
一次都没有吗 Not once?
没有 以前没有 No. Never.
以后也不会 Not ever.
"斯"守心中所想
"斯"立
我怎么做 What do I do?
"斯"守立场
我"斯"守立场 I stanground.
当杜鲁博士告诉杰夫·康威 Now, when Dr. Drew told Jeff Conway
他正在不归路上 he was on a one way
他用来尝试说服别人的计策是 street to nowhere what tactics did he use to try and convince...
马什先生 如果你不介意 Mr. Marsh, if you don't mind,
我们想看看你的腕带 we'd like to see your bracelet.
为什么 For what?
如果你没什么好隐瞒的 If you have nothing to hide,
就拿出来吧 马什先生 then please hand it over, Mr. Marsh.
你们这些人在说什么啊 What are you people talking about?
能拍到我们吗 Are we good? We live?
汤姆 我正在南方公园小学 Tom, I'm here at South Park elementary
专业人士正在赶来 where officials have barged their way in,
有举报说斯坦·马什 after reports that Stan Marsh of the
即"斯"守立场的发起人 其实 Stanground foundation did in fact
曾经取下过他的黄色腕带 at one point remove his yellow bracelet.
有谣言称 Rumors have surfaced that
斯坦并未像他之前宣称的那样死守立场 Stan did not stand his ground as previously stated
而那个腕带是后来拿强力胶黏上的 and that the wristband is in fact, super glued back together.
来让我们查查你的腕带是不是黏上的 Please let us check your wristband for super glue.
不要 这太傻逼了 No! This is stupid!
他才不会做那样的事情 He's the one person who doesn't do stuff like that!
快放开他 Why don't you leave him alone?!
你害怕我们会找到证据吗 马什先生 Are you afraid we will find glue on your bracelet, Mr. Marsh?
不怕 我就没剪断过 No! I never cut it off.
那就让我们看啊 Then, let us see it.
真是太气人了 This is an outrage
你们是想说我们的斯坦是个骗子吗 who out there is saying that our friend Stan is a liar?!
还不能这么说 但是我们的 I cannot say, but he is a reliable and credible source
信息来源非常可靠 who is of the utmost prestige.
是谁 Who?!
好吧 Alright.
是克雷格 It was Craig.
克雷格 你个王八蛋 Craig?! You asshole.
你到底想要干什么 克雷格 What's the big idea, Craig?!
就是看起来像是断过的 仅此而已 It just looked like you cut it off, that's all.
你丫的除了打击我就没别的事可做了吗 You got nothing better to do than try and knock me down?!
你不能随随便便地诬陷别人 You can't just say anything you want about people!
快看 他站起来死守立场啦 Ooh, look at him go standin' his ground!
知道你说谎的时候会怎么样吗 克雷格 You know what happens when you lie, Craig?!
-你受谎言的煎熬 -斯坦加油 - You hold that lie inside... - Go Stan!
罪恶就在你的蛋蛋里滋生 and it grows and it grows right in your balls
你不割掉它们还真不行了 until they have to cut it out!
有点过了 不过还是加油 斯坦 Little unnecessary, but go, Stan!
随便你们测试吧 Go ahead and test it!!!
然后让我们看看这个 Then let's just see what happens
贪财的卖屁股的能有什么下场 to this money hungry, alcoholic prostitute!
卖屁股的 Prostitute!
这里是 新闻头条 This is Breaking News.
测验已经完成 结果已经出来 The tests are done and the results are in.
宣称自己从未剪断过"耶稣会怎么做"腕带的 The little boy who claimed he never cut off his
小男孩确实剪断过腕带 What Would Jesus Do bracelet did cut it off
并欺骗大家 and lied about it.
我们不仅发现了强力胶 Not only did we find traces of superglue
还发现了黄色魔术笔的痕迹 but of yellow magic marker as well.
这是所有诚实的法国瑞典人的一个黑暗日 This is a dark day for honest French Swedish people everywhere.
尽管测试已有结果 Though the tests seemed conclusive,
但是斯坦·马什仍持否认态度 Stan Marsh continues to deny any cheating.
进来 Yeah.
哥们 大家都在生你的气 Hey, dude, people are kind of pissed off at you.
知道了 凯尔 Thanks, Kyle.
你也许该站出来实话实说 You probably should come clean and tell the truth.
你到底有没有粘你的腕带 Did you superglue your bracelet?
有关系吗 Why does it matter?
因为你让这事变得有关系了 Because you kind of made it matter.
知道吗 我已经经历了这整件事了 You know, I'm just... I'm just through with this whole thing.
我不能让我的家人们继续承受这些 I just... I can't put my family through any more of this.
那你就是确实粘了 So you did superglue it.
你知道真正悲哀的是什么吗 Ugh, you know what's really sad
是人们竟然关心这屁事 is that this is what matters to people!
然而却没有人记得白俄罗斯的那些农民 What nobody seems to remember are the farmers in Belarus!
"斯"守立场比我更值得关注 Stanground is bigger than me.
你想告诉那些白俄罗斯的农民 You want to tell all those farmers in Belarus
这些都是扯淡吗 that it's all bullcrap?
哥们 早点承认错误 Dude, the sooner you eat your peas
就能早点挽回几个朋友 the sooner you can try to win some of your friends back.
你得向比尔·克林顿学学 You need to Bill Clinton this.
你真以为我在经历了这些麻烦 You really think I went through all that trouble,
为我的腕带撒谎还有做违背自己的宣言后 lying about my wristband and claiming to be something I wasn't...
为了什么 凯尔 For what, Kyle?
为了什么 For what?!
这是政治迫害 哥们 This is a witch hunt, dude.
都是那个傻逼法国科学家 他才是骗子 It's all that stupid French scientist - he's the fraud!
我会证明的 And I'm gonna prove it!
可以帮我倒杯水来吗 亲爱的 Would you mind getting me some water, darling?
没看见我正在做健身操吗 Can't you see I'm trying to do my a calisthenics?
但是我喉咙好干 而且我也怕小偷 But my throat is parched, dear, and I'm so scared of burglars.
是自来水就行 Is a tap water going to be okay
还是你想我现在去找个水晶泉 or do you want me to go down to a crystal geyser
然后为我的女王陛下带来些泉水呢 and bring her highness some right from the spring.
自来水就行 亲爱的 Tap is fine, dear.
那是什么 What was that?
我发誓我看见外面有东西 I could have sworn I saw something outside.
都是你的想象 It's your imagination.
亲爱的 帮我换一下台吧 Darling, could you change the channel for me,
遥控器没电了 the remote is dead.
你是想我就换个台 You just want to me to change the channel
还是要我专门为你设计套电视节目啊 or should I go and make a TV program written just for you.
不用 换到十台就行 谢啦 No, just change to channel ten. Thanks.
感觉就像是《卡罗尔•伯纳特的故事》一样 It's starting to feel like a The Carol Burnett Show in here.
什么声音 What was that?
我觉得有人进来了 I think somebody's here!
也许是尿尿小仙女 Maybe it's the pee pee fairy
这样连上厕所都能让人帮你去了 so somebody can take a pee pee for you too.
求你了 我怕死了 Please I'm terrified.
快去看看 Please go check it out.
我了个耶稣啊 Jesus!
你在这干什么 What are you doing here?
孩子 住在这里的家伙 My child, the man who lives here
发起了一场毁我名誉的政治迫害 has led a witch hunt to destroy my legacy.
我只是来找点什么 也让他 I am simply here to search for something
-名誉扫地 -名誉扫地 - I can use to discredit him too. - to discredit him too.
我也是这么想的 That's what I'm doing.
原来是个傻大个和傻小个 Oh, it's a tweedledum and a tweedledee
想要闯进我的房子里 trying to break into my a house.
耶稣 人们都说你是用药才复活的 Jesus, everyone is claiming you were using drugs to resurrect.
为什么你不出来澄清 Why didn't you say anything?
有时候保持沉默更好 孩子 Sometimes it is best to say nothing, my son.
是啊 这点我倒是有点理解 Yeah, I've been kind of seeing that.
抱歉打扰二位了 二位请离 Excuse me, I'm sorry to intrude, but do you want to please leave,
还是要我端点面包香肠来招待你们 or should I make you some a kofel bread and sausages??
一切都太突然了 It all just happened so fast.
瞬间我就接到了耐克的广告合约 The next thing I knew I had a Nike commercial.
我明白 Yeah, I know how it goes.
现在所有人都讨厌我 这不公平 Everyone hates me now and it isn't fair.
我懂 I know.
我觉得只要人们又看到我所做的事情 I just feel like if people could see me in action again,
他们会意识到我不是个骗子 they'd realize I'm not a fraud.
来了 你们的面包和香肠 Here you go, kofelbread and a sausages for you.
非常感谢 Thanks a lot.
耶稣 你是用了HGH满血复活的吗 Jesus, did you take HGH to do your miracles?
没有 No!
那只是 才没有 That's just... no.
好吧 没有 Okay. No.
只是大家都失去了信仰 Everyone just lost their faith.
你切断了腕带么 孩子 Did you cut your wristband off, my son?
没有 No!
那 才没有 好吧 没有 No, that's... no. Okay. No.
而且这也不是重点 And anyway it's not even the issue.
我明白 才不是 No, I know right?
就像是 在这里然后 It's like, that's here and...
是啊 我们就像 这里 Yeah, we're like... here it's
白俄罗斯的农民 There's... there's farmers in Belarus who are in a life
正在水生火热中 这才是重点 and death struggle that's what should be important.
没错 Yeah!
我们应该让大家 Instead of focusing on us,
把注意力从我们这转移到值得注意的事情上去 we need to get everyone focusing on what matters!
白俄罗斯在哪儿 Where's Belarus?
太对了 Exactly!
人们甚至不知道它在哪 People don't even know where it is!
也许我们可以唤起人们的注意 Maybe if we could get people to care about it,
然后我可以去拯救白俄罗斯 then I could go and save it
大家就又会追随我了 and people would be stoked on me again.
我们怎么去唤起注意 How can we raise awareness?!
我们得弄些腕带来 We need to get some bracelets.
欢迎 欢迎光临P.F. Welcome, welcome to the P.F.
可怜逼腕带工厂 Pity F bracelet factory!
有什么能帮二位的吗 How can I be of service?
我们想要掀起新的运动 Well, we wanted to start a new movement,
似乎所有的腕带都出自贵工厂 and we thought since your company seems to make all the bracelets...
我看到你已经戴了我们的棕色腕带呀 Ah, I see you're wearing one of our brown scauses already!
超赞 Delightful!
你们的新腕带要什么颜色的 What color would you like your new scause to be?
我们的腕带 Our scause?
当然 Well, of course!
找个腕带带腕上 You came for a scause to wear on your paws.
叫大家也全配上 And you want others to wear yours upon thars!
听不懂 I'm confused.
要不我从头说起吧 Hmm, perhaps I should start from the beginning.
现在的人们想法真怪 In the modern age there are those who believe,
觉得信仰当往袖子上戴 that a cause is a thing to be worn on one's sleeve.
所以我们卖了 叫腕带 And so, we sell a cause, it's called a scause.
戴上腕带 迎来一片喝彩 And wearing a scause gets you lots of applause.
塑料做料 塑形器塑形 We start some plastic, which is sherped by our sherpas,
不同的颜色 不同的信 then dip it in colors that show off your purpose.
绿色环保 蓝色护小猫 There are green scauses for recycling, blue scauses for kitties,
粉色没啥 专为奶子好 and pink scauses that focus on nothing but titties.
反对堕胎的拿白色 Do you hate abortion? Then a white scause is for you!
要秀立场都来一个 Why not champion your scause with some sparkles and glue!
为这个 为那个 We make scasues for this! We make scauses for that!
为肥胖也来一个 Why there's even a scauses for just being fat!
怎么 不知买啥好么 What's the matter? Can't think of a scauses?
来唤起人们对鼻毛的重视么 How about raising awareness for the hairs in your schnoz?
想想你最关注的事 Let's just think of the thing that you care about most!
做成橘色像橘酱吐司 Then let's make it orange, like marmalade toast!
谢谢你们来参观 And now I'd like to say thank you-for your coming down.
我就去你们镇上卖卖看 I'm off to go sell these in your little town!
靠 什么情况 Dude, what the hell just happened?
孩子们 Kids.
孩子们 好么 我要告诉你们件重要的事情 Kids, okay, I need to talk to you a serious matter.
你们也许发现了我的橘色腕带 好么 You've probably all noticed my orange wristband, okay.
这表明了我对白俄罗斯人民的支持 It's to show my solidarity with the people of Belarus.
好么 你们应该知道 Okay, you should know that the
白俄罗斯政府现在正在努力 Belarusian government is right now trying to...
我们知道 麦基老师 We know, Mr. Mackey.
我们都有白俄罗斯腕带 We all have our Belarus bracelets too.
是么 Oh, you do.
你们也有了 好么 You got those, mkay.
好么 很好 Mkay, that's good.
你们有所行动是件好事 好么 Good you're doing something about it, mkay.
孩子们 Hey kids!
孩子们 这边 Hey kids, over here!
伙计 橘色腕带是怎么回事 Dude, what's this about orange bracelets?
你们哪里弄来的 Where do you get them?
市区有个人在卖 There's a guy selling them downtown,
但这些不是用可回收塑料做的 but they're not made from recycled plastic.
靠 我他妈才不关心用不用可回收塑料呢 Dude, I don't give a crap about using recycled plastic.
不 你关心的 Yes, you do.
也许我是关心 Oh, I guess I do care about that, huh.
斯坦 有人说你始终都知道 Hey, Stan, well, some people are saying that you knew
自己在做什么 what you were doing all along.
你故意剪掉腕带 That you cut off your wristband on purpose
来指出白俄罗斯农民的事情 to shed light on the Belarusian farmers.
人们这么说的吗 People are saying that?
是啊 是真的吗 Yeah. Is it true?
无论如何 巴特斯 Well, you know, whatever it takes, Butters.
人们意识到了白俄罗斯的问题 People are aware of the problems in Belarus,
也许我是故意的 也许只是个巧合 maybe I did it all on purpose or maybe it was just a coincidence.
是啊 管他呢 斯坦 Yeah, whatever, Stan.
我原以为你是个混蛋 I thought you were a butthole
但现在觉得你是个低调可爱的小混蛋 but now I think you're a cute sneaky little butthole.
我们做到了 We did it.
现在多数人最为关心的话题是 It has become the biggest concern for most people.
白俄罗斯农民与政府的艰难对质 The farmers of Belarus in their plight against their government.
现在有一个人承担起终结这场危机的重任 And now one person is taking it upon himself to end the crises.
他是谁 His name?
耶稣 Jesus.
这是段艰难动荡的岁月 农民们正拼死 These are very troubling times and these farmers are literally
捍卫自己的土地 fighting for their lives.
我 我来这会尽我所能 You know, I'm uh... I'm here to do whatever I can.
耶稣 有些人会认为你这样 Jesus, some people might be thinking you're doing this
只是作作秀 as some kind of publicity stunt
是为了平息你嗑药的流言 to put to rest the rumors of your drug use.
我根本没时间考虑这些 You know, I don't even have time to think about that.
这场危机需要 This is a crisis that needs
我出面 我来这只是为了做我该做的 my attention and I'm just here to do what I can.
我跟这的政府谈过了 也和农民谈过了 I've talked to the government here and I've talked to the farmers
我想事情很快就会得到解决 and I think we have everything just about worked out.
不管人们相信我的何种传言 You know, whatever stupid rumors people want to believe about me,
都不会改变这一事实 白螺丝人民需要我 it doesn't change the fact that the people of Balarus need my help.
应该是白俄罗斯 耶稣 I believe it's Belarus, Jesus.
没错 要是我们现在袖手旁观就难说了 Yes. It very well may be if we don't do something now.
那你觉得你在这做了一些事 Um, so you think you've done something here
避免矛盾激化 对吗 to keep the conflict from escalating, is that right?
我只是在做我一直都做的事 I'm just doing what I've always done.
人们想知道我磕啥药 People wanna know what I'm on.
我磕啥药 What am I on?
我在白螺丝的农场上 忙活着呢 I'm on a farm in Balarus, busting my ass.
你又在忙啥 What are you on?
现在白俄罗斯的农民都死了 And now that the Belarusian farmers are all dead
你下一步要做什么 what will you try next?
啥 What?
我擦 Aw shit!
请一个个来 One at a time please!
一个个来哟 One at a time!
我想退了这个橙色腕带 好么 Look, I want to return this orange bracelet, mkay.
现在这个一文不值 It's worthless now!
没问题 Not a problem.
你只需支付五美元 You can return your scause
就可退还腕带并得到两个新的 and for just five dollars I'll give you two more!
好 Okay.
我要反家暴紫色腕带和防疱疹黄绿色腕带 I need a Violet one for domestic violence, a lime one for herpes
还要一条我多恨凯尔的翠绿色腕带 and a jade green for how much I hate Kyle.
这就来 Absolutely!
请付五美元 Five dollars, please!
海蒂·特纳说你上周问她借了强力胶 Heidi Turner says you asked her to borrow super glue last week.
你还在纠缠这件事吗 Are you still on that, dude?
你没听说过 只求结果不问方式吗 Have you ever heard of ends justifying means?
矮油 就是这个声音 Oh, my, it's the sound!
什么声音 What sound?
在所有的声音里嗷 这个最深奥 Of all sounds in all soundom, this one's most profound!
这声音意味着我该收拾行囊 That's the sound that means I must pack up my tent!
这是最后一分硬币发出的回响 It's the sound of the very last cent being spent!
我的工作已经完毕 看看你们现在模样 My work here is done and just look at you now!
个个都被腕带束缚 从头到脚妥妥当当 You're all covered in scauses, from your hoof to your brow!
腕带乐趣齐分享 Enjoy all your scauses!
你们还真是会信仰 You look great in your cause!
记得相互多多鼓掌 Be sure to give each other lots of applause!
我要出发去下个地方 I'm off to the next town in my little truck!
祝你们愉快 Have a nice day!
嘟嘟嘟 Toodle loo!
靠 弱爆了 Dude. Weak.
貌似 那个家伙一开始就看得一清二楚 It's almost like...like that guy had this figured out all along.
是啊 Yeah.
我们努力想做好事 We were trying to do good.
但我们却让大家被一个腕带公司骗了 But we got everyone duped by a bracelet company.
是啊 我想我们得面对现实了 Yeah, well, I guess we're just gonna have to accept that
大家一定会鄙视我们的 people aren't going to think very highly of us.
我们不能让那家伙 Wul, we can't just let that
拿了大伙的钱逃之夭夭 guy get away with taking everyone's money.
那我们能做什么 What can we possibly do?
耶稣会怎么做 What would Jesus do?
太好啦 Yeah!!!!
我要复仇 Vengeance is mine!!!!!
不 求求你 求主仁慈 No, please!!! Please show mercy!
谢谢 我的子民们 Thank you, my children.
我们都经历了太多 We've all been through a lot.
信仰被腕带掠夺 We got caught up in scauses.
但我们不能因此求妥 That didn't mean squat.
它们曲解了我对大家的教导 They turned my message away from the teachings it hid
生我的是非 又造我的谣 and made it about me and things that I did.
当然我没做 Which of course I didn't do.
要是我真吃过兴奋剂 And even if I did use performance enhancing drugs
那其他先知也全吃过 so did all the other prophets.
可我没吃 But I didn't.
腕带大盗让我们学到了什么 So what have we learned, from this great wristband theft?
拿走了腕带 Maybe, that when stripped of our scauses,
留下了信仰 only causes are left.
而信仰不该是将嘲讽的言语戴在手腕上 And causes shouldn't be worn on our wrists with a sneer.
让信仰回到它的归属 回到这 Let's keep our causes where they belong, which is right here.
T恤上 On T-shirts!
释放造反猫咪 Free Pussy Riot!
女子朋克乐队"造反猫咪"因反普京表演 被认定流氓罪 判处两年监禁
释放造反猫咪 Free Pussy Riot!
好耶 Yeah!