本字幕由YYeTs人人影视 原创翻译制作 仅供学习 禁止用于任何商业盈利行为 更多影视更新 请登陆 www.YYeTs.com
I'm going down to south park gonna have myself a time
Friendly faces everywhere humble folks without temptation
Going down to south park gonna leave my woes behind
Ample parking day or night people shouting howdy neighbor
Heading on out to south park gonna see if I can't unwind
I like girls with big vaginas I like girls with big fat titties
Come on down to south park and meet some friends of mine.
《南方公园》第16季 第12集 奥巴马赢了
科罗拉多州 大选日 山区标准时间 早晨8:05
汤普森先生 投票在那边排队 Okay mister Thompson, voting line is right over there.
-下一位 -妈妈 - Next, please. - Mom?!!
妈妈 我妈妈呢 Mommy??!!?! Where's my mommy?!
天呐 小朋友 你跟妈妈走丢了啊 Oh dear, did you lose your mother, little boy?!
-妈 -保安 - Mommmmmm!!! - Security!
-啊 -这个小朋友找不到妈妈了 - Hah?! - This little boy lost his mom!
她跟我说走丢了就等在塑料大箱子前面 She said to wait for her by the plastic boxes if I got lost!
没事 跟我来 It's alright come on.
南卡罗莱纳州 东部时间 中午12:18
夏洛特社区中心
妈妈 我妈妈呢 Mom, where's my mommmmmm???
天呐 小朋友你找不到妈妈了啊 Oh dear, did you lose your mommy, little boy?
先生 需要来点热坚果么 Would you like some warm nuts, sir?
哈哈哈 她说热坚果 Ha ha haa! Warm nuts she says!
佛罗里达州 东部时间 下午3:40
妈妈 我找不到妈妈了 Mommmmm!!! I lost my mommm!!!!!
热坚果要吗先生 热坚果 Warm nuts, sir? Warm nuts?
不会吧 不会吧 No way, dude. No way.
俄亥俄州 中部时间 下午5:00
妈妈 我找不到妈妈啦 Maaaa aaaaaaa!!!!! I can't find my mommmmm!!!!!
-热坚果要吗先生 -哈哈 - You like warm nuts, sir? - Ha ha!
行了 说了够多遍了 Okay, okay, it's getting old.
■
内华达州 太平洋标准时间 下午3:00
妈 Mom!!!!!
妈妈 Mommmmmmmmm!!!!!!!!
星期三 大选后一日
人民的意志已经传达 The people have spoken and the
巴拉克·奥巴马再次当选美利坚总统 President of the United States is once again, Barack Obama.
我想让你们知道 再次回到白宫 I assure you all that I am heading back to the White House
让我更兴奋 更动力十足 More motivated, more titillated than ever.
别伤心 艾克 至少你还活在一个 Don't be sad, ike. Just be happy that you live in a country
人们能自己投票选总统的国家 where people get to elect a president at all.
-喂 -凯尔 你怎么样 - Hello? - Hey, Kyle, what's up?
没啥 我在看选举结果 Nothing, watching the election results.
我料到了 选举结束的日子 Yeah, I figured. It's the day after the election
你有可能坐在沙发上跟你小弟弟唠叨 So you're probably sitting on the couch telling your little
活在一个民主国家是多么美好 Brother how great it is to live in a democratic society.
听着 凯尔 你能过来一下吗 Listen, Kyle, could you come over for a second.
我有些东西要让你看 I've got something I need to show you.
-什么 -来吧 凯尔 - What? - Please, Kyle.
这东西挺重要 It's kind of important.
你又搞什么呢死胖子 Alright, what is this all about, Fat ass?
昨晚的选举结果你满意么 凯尔 You happy with the election results last night, Kyle?
满不满意无所谓 It doesn't matter if I am or Not.
人民投票选出的总统 我都支持 People voted and I stand behind the President.
你这种话太像是民主党说出来的了 凯尔 Oh, it's such a democratic thing to say, Kyle.
如果我告诉你 What if I were to tell you --
这房间里藏着一些东西 That I have something in my room
能彻底改变选举结果 怎么样 that could change the entire Election?
你就吹吧 Sure you do.
如果我真的有呢 凯尔 What if I did, Kyle?
你还能有什么东西 What could you possibly have in
可以改变大选结果的 your room that could change the outcome of the election?
不错吧 Pretty sweet, huh?
这是啥个情况 What the hell is this?
你觉得呢 几十万张来自于 What's it look like? Hundreds of thousands of votes
-摇摆州的选票 -我不赶相信 - from all the swing states. - I don't believe it.
真的 这几个州的人都很摇摆 No, really, there are states full of swingers.
swinger指除了配偶之外还有多位性伴侣的人
在我看来就是一群变态 Bunch of perverts if you ask me.
你怎么会有这些选票 Why do you have these?
这个国家的投票机制很搞笑吧 凯尔 Funny how voting works in this country, isn't it, Kyle.
每个人 都抽时间了解选举的信息 Each one of these a person -- someone who took the time to get themselves informed,
还要亲自开车去投票点 actually got up and drove to a voting
投上自己的那一票 Area to make sure their voice was heard.
-喂 -这里又有一个爱国者 - Dude. - Here's another patriotic American.
也许他花了好多时间了解竞选广告 He probably spent hours Listening to all those presidential ads and
观看每一场竞选电视辩论 tuned in to Every debate.
你给我住手 卡特曼 Knock it off, Cartman!
不管你信不信 凯尔 我需要你帮忙 Now believe it or not, Kyle. I actually need your help.
但首先 你得保证不告诉任何人 But first, you have to promise not to tell anyone.
你这次别想逃脱 死胖子 You're not getting away with this, you fat turd!!!!
翻译：迷你黑 foxer 东篱把酒 胡好时 Bazinga
■
校对：原子蛋 时间轴：今
■
后期：凉风有信 总监：原子蛋
■
飞奔吧 萤火虫 你被我玩弄于鼓掌之间 Run now, little firefly. It's all part of the plan.
亲爱的 有位叫彭李棠的先生给你打电话 Sweetie, there's a Mr. Pun Lee Tsao on the phone for you.
谢谢 妈妈 我去书房接电话 Thanks mom. I'll take that -- in the study.
我有书房吗 我好像没有书房 Do I have a study? I don't think I have a study.
好吧没关系 That's fine.
总统先生 Mr. President.
怎么 Yes?
二号线路 中国的棠将军打电话过来 Line two from china for you, sir. It's General Tsao.
-你好 将军 -我们想你肯定对于 - Yes, hello, General. - We presume you are pleased with
选举结果是满意的 the election results?
非常满意 感谢你的帮忙 Very pleased. Thank you for your help.
那么你就必须也完成你对我们的承诺了 And you, no doubt, will now begin filling your side of the bargain.
你会如愿以偿 三小时后见 You'll have what you want. I'll meet you in three hours.
先生 选举结果如他们所说 Sir, the election may have gone the way they said,
但我们无法将您的承诺兑现给中国人 but we can't possibly give the Chinese what you promised.
不知中国人用了何种手段 I don't know how they did it
但他们确实让我连任了 but the Chinese secured my victory.
我必须兑现承诺 I have to fulfill my obligation.
万一棠将军突然吃了豹子胆 And what if General Tsao is suddenly to get the courage
向媒体曝光怎么办呢 to go to the press with all this?
没事 大家都知道棠将军是胆小鬼 Don't worry, everyone knows General Tsao's Chicken.
General Tsao's Chicken为菜名"左宗棠鸡" 但chicken也有胆小鬼 懦夫的意思
埃里克·卡特曼吗 Eric Cartman?
我们接到举报 你可能涉嫌选举欺诈 We have a report you might be involved in voter fraud.
我想想 没有啊 Mmmm, no.
可以搜查你的房间吗 You mind if we search your room?
不行 我知道我的权利 I'm sorry, but I know my rights.
没有搜查令 你们不能搜查我的房间 You can't search my room without a warrant
恐怕帮我不能允许你们这么做 and I'm afraid I can't give you permission.
这不是开玩笑 卡特曼 This isn't a joke, Cartman!
请你们相信我 警官 You have to believe me, officer,
事关选举结果啊 the outcome of the election depends on it.
看看就知道了 Let's just see.
喂 你们不能这么做 Ya! You can't do that!
-喂 - 楼上 左边第一个房间 - Hey! - Upstairs! First door on the left!
我有权叫你们站住 I know my rights! Stop right now!
之前真的在这里 But they were here.
我发誓 成箱成箱的全国各州的选票 I swear it! Stacks and stacks of ballots from states all over the country!
我一直相信我们生活在自由至上的国家 I was always told that we lived in a country based on freedom.
美利坚与其他国家不同的地方就是 That the one thing that made America different was that the
政府永远不会没有搜查令就扰乱民居 government could never barge into our lives unwarranted.
但现在全变了 对吧 But it's all changing, isn't it?
自奥巴马当选以后 就全变了 Ever since Obama was first elected, it's all changing.
我的天呐 我们做了什么蠢事啊 Oh my god, what have we done?
我觉得我们国家正在改变 I guess this country is changing.
抱歉 小朋友 我们很抱歉 We're sorry, little boy. We're so sorry.
求你们了 你们要相信我 Please, you've got to believe me!
选票肯定就藏在哪里 They've still got to be here somewhere!
我们得找到它们 We have to find them!
但是它们能在哪里呢 But where could they be?
哪里呢 为什么我会在意 Where? And why would I care so much
选举的结果呢 about the election results?
问题这么多 凯尔 So many questions, Kyle.
时间却这么少 So little time.
弟兄们 弟兄们 Guys! You guys!
听着 卡特曼把几万张选票 Listen, Cartman has tens of thousands of voter ballots
藏了起来 hidden somewhere!
他篡改了选举结果 He's changed the outcome of the election!
哇 真的吗 他真厉害啊 Wow, really. That's pretty impressive.
别闹了 他肯定把东西藏在哪里了 Come on you guys, he's hid them somewhere
我们得找出来才行 we have to find them.
可我觉得奥巴马昨晚轻松完胜啊 But I thought Obama won pretty easily last night.
哥们 拜这届总统选举团所赐 Dude, because of the electoral college
摇摆州的选票变得非常重要啊 these votes in swing states can really matter!
我对这些一窍不通 I don't understand that stuff at all.
我需要摩根·弗里曼为我解释下 I need Morgan Freeman to explain it to me.
是啊 我喜欢听摩根·弗里曼说事 Yeah, I love when Morgan Freeman explains stuff.
每次我看到个不明所以的电影 Whenever I'm confused about what's going on in a movie
看到摩根·弗里曼出场我就舒了口气 I'm always so relieved when Morgan Freeman shows up
因为他会清楚地解释情节 and explains the plot to me.
我靠 老子说正事呢 靠 God dammit, this is serious, you guys!
卡特曼偷走了选票 Cartman has stolen the election!
或许卡特曼有他的理由 Wul, maybe Cartman had a good reason.
巴特斯 你知道内幕 是吗 Butters, you know something, don't you?
什么 没有 怎么这么说呢 Huh?!Uh, no! Why?
卡特曼跟你说什么了 What did Cartman tell you?!
他什么都没和我说啊 He didn't tell me nothin!
我已经发毒誓了 事关重大 凯尔 And I swore to secrecy! It's really important, Kyle,
而且事情不是你想的那样啊 啊 and it isn't what you think. Agh!
别再逼我说了 Don't make me say any more.
快给我老实交代 Tell us what you know, right Now.
我不能说 你不明白吗 I can't, don't you see?!?!
别逼我吞下去 我会吞的 Don't make me swallow this! I'll do it!
- 那是个M豆吧 - 杏仁的 - Is that an M&M? - It's an almond M&M!
我对杏仁严重过敏 别逼我 I'm very allergic to almonds! Please!
离我远点 Just leave me alone!
那就赶紧交代 Then you have to tell us.
我拼命啦 Wul -- uh -- wahghggh!!
我靠 别让他吞下去 Oh shit. Don't let him swallow it!!!
-撬开他的嘴 -他吞下去了 - Pry his mouth open! - He ate it!
巴特斯 选票藏到哪了 Butters, where are the ballots going?!
藏到哪了 Where are they going?!?!
我 我 我恨杏仁 I -- I -- I hate almondsssss.
-再来点黄油蘸酱吗 先生 -好 - More melted butter, sir? - Mmm, mmm.
小朋友 总统马上来要拿选票了 Little boy, the president is on his way to pick up the ballots.
放哪了 Where are they?
就在附近 安然无恙 They're near by. Very safe and sound.
我只是想稍微修改下我们的交易 I just might want to alter our deal a little bit.
修改... Alter our --
总统马上就要带着货过来了 The president will be here in moments with what we want!
告诉我你们到底想要用它来做什么 Yeah, tell me again exactly what you plan on doing with it.
天呐 是总统先生 Oh my god, it's the president!
祝贺您 总统先生 The president! Congratulations, sir!
谢谢 谢谢你们的选票和信任 Thank you. Thank you all for your votes of confidence.
请恕我无礼 If I could just be a little rude
能让我安静低调地吃顿饭吗 and ask to have a nice quiet meal in private?
没问题 来吧 Oh, of course! Come on,
咱们把餐厅腾给总统先生 let's let the president have some peace and quiet!
总统居然来红龙虾吃饭 Wow, the president eats at Red Lobster!
跟我这种普通人一样诶 He's just a normal guy like me!
快点快点 总统叫大家快走呢 Come on, guys! President says get out!
其实我压根没投他 I didn't actually vote for him. Huh.
好了 选票在哪里 Alright. Where're the ballots?
急救中心
你们的朋友有严重的过敏反应 Your friend has had a severe allergic reaction.
我们能和他说说话吗 Can we please just try and talk to him?
好吧 但是别太久 Alright, but don't take too long.
巴特斯 快告诉我们卡特曼想干什么 Butters, you have to tell us what Cartman is up to.
好嗷 Alright,
我不想这么做 但你要是不说的话 I didn't want to have to do this, but if you don't tell us,
我就告诉你爸 I'm gonna tell your dad
说你协助让一个不该被选上的人选上了 you helped get the wrong person elected president.
不 求你了 不要 No! Please, you can't!
那就快说卡特曼想干什么 Then just tell me what cartman is up to!
好吧 我说 Okay! Okay!
他说啥 What did he say?
你说大选不是这周 Oh. What do you mean the election
最大的事情是什么意思 isn't the biggest thing that happened this week?
什么 What?
因为中国人想要得到某样重要的东西 Because the Chinese want to get something that's important.
你是说导弹防御计划吗 You mean the missile defense program?
巴特斯 卡特曼会在哪里交易 Butters, where is Cartman supposed to hand over the ballots?
哪里 Where?
-啥 -他说在红红红红红 - Huh? - He said at r-r-r-r-red r-r-rred
什么 What?
-红龙虾 -噢 是红龙虾 - Red Lobster! - Oh, Red Lobster.
棠将军 你到底有没有丢失的选票 General Tsao, do you have the missing ballots or not?
选票当然在我们手上 Sure, we have the ballots.
只不过我们现在没有带过来 But we don't have them right here with us now.
好吧 要我出去再进来一次吗 Okay, you want me to come in again?
我们可以重来一遍 We can start over.
搞什么飞机 What the fuck is this?
好了 快说丢失的选票在哪里 Alright! Where are the missing ballots?!
奥巴马总统 President Obama?!
我靠你妈了个凯尔 Oh, god dammit, Kyle,
老子就快得手了 I was just about to get what I wanted!
总统先生 我们让你再次当选了 Mr. President, we got you Re-elected.
现在务必给我们星球大战的技术 Now you will give us the Star Wars technology
以待我方拍续集 so that we can make the sequels!
我说过了 只要我的总统宝座安稳了 I told you China would get the rights to Star Wars from Disney
你们就能从迪士尼拿到星球大战版权 as long as my presidency was secure.
没拿到选票 就不算安稳 Until I have those ballots it is not secure.
等等 星球大战版权 那个电影吗 Wait a minute. The rights to "Star wars", The Movies?!
这尼玛到底是要干啥 What the hell is going on here!!
他们是在贩卖美国最伟大的资产 What's going on is the sale of America's greatest asset.
当美国创造出了星球大战 You see, when the United States created "Star wars",
使得这个国家异常强大 it made this country incredibly powerful.
摩根·弗里曼 Morgan Freeman?
这里故意将电影《星球大战》与美国政府"星球大战" 即反弹道导弹防御系统之战略防御计划混淆
这周早些时候 Earlier this week,
迪士尼收购了卢卡斯影业并要拍星球大战 Lucas signed the rights to "Star Wars" over to Disney,
然后中国人想到了想要自己获得的方法 and the Chinese saw a way to obtain it for themselves.
奥巴马政府主张放弃小布什政府重启的"星球大战"计划
中国政府知道 The Chinese government knew
如果他们帮助奥巴马总统获选 that president Obama would help them take the rights from Disney
而又恰逢选期内迪士尼收购《星球大战》制作商卢卡斯影业 并筹划续拍该系列电影 中国人纯属躺枪
他就会帮他们从迪士尼获得版权 if they helped him get re-elected.
但是偷了选票的那个孩子把它们藏了起来 But the child who actually stole ballots has hidden them
不满足他的要求 and won't give them to anyone
他是不会交出选票的 until his demands are met.
你们现在都是满手烂事 You've all got quite a mess on your hands.
但愿你们能处理好 I wish you well with it.
还有一件事 摩根·弗里曼 Just one thing morgan Freeman.
为什么每次某件事情错综复杂需要解释时 How come every time something convoluted needs explaining,
你就会出现呢 you show up?
因为每次我出现解释清楚什么事情 Because every time I show up and explain something,
我就得到一个斑点 I earn a Freckle.
条件是这样的 棠将军 总统先生 So here's the deal, General Tsao, Mr. President.
当中国人拍续集的时候 When the Chinese make the sequels,
我要演卢克·天行者的儿子 I get to play the part of Luke Skywalker's son.
卡特曼·天行者 Cartman Skywalker.
我不同意 我们不会被你威胁的 That was not the deal! We will not be bullied by you!
看来我们就要玩小鸡的游戏了 Well, then I guess we're about to play a game of chicken,
棠将军 General Tsao.
我懂了 棠将军是胆胆胆小鬼 I get it. General Tsao's ch-chi-chicken.
百分百确定吗 You are absolutely sure about this?
已经确认过了 迈克 It's been confirmed, Mike.
天呐 也许本来是我们赢的 My god, we may have won this thing.
阁下 Sir?
阁下 有个惊人的消息 Sir, we have some incredible news.
据说有很多选票被偷了 There are rumors of hundreds of thousands of stolen ballots.
你很有可能赢得竞选的 You might have won the election after all!
这里什么也没有 凯尔 There's nothing here, Kyle.
地下室有吗 吉米 Anything in the basement, Jimmy?
只有废品和几箱他老妈的假鸡巴 Just old junk and boxes of Eric's mom's dildos.
继续找 Well, keep looking!
天啊 发生了什么 Oh, my goodness, what's going on?
不好意思 卡特曼女士 Sorry, Ms. Cartman,
你儿子拿了不该拿的东西 but your son took some things that didn't belong to him.
我跟他说了别乱拿别人的东西 Oh, I've told him to respect people's property.
他拿了什么 What did he take?
他偷了摇摆州的选票 He stole ballots in all the swing states
导致总统错选 so that the wrong person was elected president.
那这几天要禁止他看电视 Oh, well, no TV for him for a few days.
这里什么也没有 凯尔 鬼影都没有 There's nothing here, Kyle. Not even one scooby clue.
天哪 伙计们 Oh, my god, you guys!!!
快看 Look!!!
是波巴·费特的飞船[星球大战] Dude, it's Boba Fett's ship!
这里在搞什么鸡巴 哈哈 Just what the dickens is going on here, ha ha?
我靠 又是他 Oh shit, it's him again.
跟中国人的交易是怎么回事 What's this about a deal with the Chinese?
我已经买下这破玩意了 I own all this shit now!
死星 塔图因 I own the Death star, I own Tatooine,
全都是我的 哈哈 it's all mine. Haha.
好了 鬼崽子们 Alright, fuckers.
丢失的选票在哪 哈哈 Where are the missing ballots? Ha ha.
巴特斯 Butters.
你这嘴巴就是没法闭上 是吧 巴特斯 You just couldn't keep your mouth shut, could you, Butters?
我什么也没说 我发誓 I didn't say anything! I promise.
我想在星球大战这事上谁都不可靠 I guess we learned that when it comes to Star Wars we can't trust anyone.
总统不可靠 中国人不可靠 你也不行 Not the president, not the Chinese. And not you.
求你了 埃里克 Please, Eric!
我努力守口了 我发誓 I tried to be quiet, I swear!
嘘 没关系 巴特斯 没人会找到选票 Shhhh, it's okay, butters. Nobody's going to find the election ballots.
我已经把它们藏起来了 I have them hidden away.
藏在了一个无人问津的地方 Somewhere nobody would ever look.
一个几乎不为人知的地方 A place in town people barely even know exists.
各位 今天想买台悍马么 Hey, guys! Lookin' to buy a Hummer today?
我们的十月大促销延续到十一月了 We're having a Rocktober sales event that's goin' into Rockvember.
你好 想试驾悍马吗 Hey, there! Interested in test driving a Hummer today?
试想你戴着雷朋墨镜 摇下窗户 I can see you -- the Ray Bans, got that nice bicep hanging out
伸出你健美的手臂 怎么样 the window rolled down. What do you think?
十一月大促销 各位 Rockvember sales event, guys!
买悍马送赛格威电动车 Every Hummer comes with a free Segway.
别喊了好不好 Hey, why don't you shut up.
搞促销嘛 太兴奋啦 Just excited about these deals, that's all.
我们找到他了 先生 We found him, sir.
但仍没有选票的下落 But still no sign of the missing Ballots.
下去吧 让我们俩单独谈谈 Go on, leave us alone.
听着 小朋友 Now listen, little boy,
这个国家是靠人们参与竞选来运作的 The reason this country works is because people go out and vote.
每一张选票都很重要 Every vote counts, and
别废话 死耗子 Cut the crap, mouse.
你关心竞选结果是因为罗姆尼 You only care about the election results
对中国人更强硬一些 because Romney would have been tougher on the Chinese.
不如直接告诉我选票在哪吧 Why don't you just tell me where the missing ballots are?
我会让你死的舒服点 哈哈 It'll make your death a lot less painful, ha, ha.
相信我 它们在一个谁也找不到的地方 Trust me, they're somewhere nobody will ever find them.
如果你杀了我 奥巴马将继任总统 If you kill me then Obama will stay president
而你就要把星球大战拱手让给中国人了 and you'll lose Star Wars to the Chinese forever.
帅气吧 想要一把吗 Pretty neat, huh? How would you like to have one?
我在超市就能买到 如果你想拉拢我 I can get those at Kmart. If you want me to switch sides,
就多拿点诚意 you'll have to do better than that.
-你想怎样 -我要出演新电影 - Like what? - I want a part in the new movies.
那你一开始为什么不来找我 Well, then, why didn't you just come to me in the first place?
如果你想出演下一季星球大战 If you wanna be in the next "Star wars,"
就该找我 哈哈 I'm your guy, ha ha.
我要当卢克·天行者的儿子 I get to be Luke Skywalker's Son.
而且必须有个角色叫朱巴卡 And there has to be a character called Jewbacca!
卢克的儿子 韩·苏洛的儿子 随你当 You can be Luke's son. You can be Han Solo's son.
我他妈才无所谓 I don't give two shits of ???
真的吗 那么 Really? Well, then,
的确应该公开选票 I suppose that making the votes public is the right thing to do.
我可以给你那些选票 I can get the ballets for you.
但如果要我把它们运过来 But if I am gonna smuggle them here,
我需要炸药和一只咚咚兽 I am gonna need a blaster and a Tauntaun.
没问题 Sure thing.
从我菊花里都能拉出只咚咚兽给你 哈哈 I got Tauntaun coming out my asshole. Ha ha.
这里是竞选爆炸新闻 坐稳了 This is breaking election news! Hold that phone!
竞选也许结束了 但流言还在四起 The election may be over, but rumors are running rampant
据说数以万计投给米特·罗姆尼的选票被盗 that hundreds of thousands of ballots for Mitt Romney were stolen.
我们需要所有人的帮助 We need everyone's help here.
请留意大盒子装的选票 有几百盒 What you're looking for are big boxes of ballots, hundreds of them.
请大家查看自家地下室 阁楼 Please check your basements, your attics.
你还声称"棠将军" And you claim that a 'General Tsao'
雇了你的朋友"死胖子" 去偷选票 hired your friend 'fat ass' to steal the ballots.
但目前为止中方拒绝对此事作出回应 But so far the Chinese are refusing to speak with us.
是的 可能因为曹将军是胆小鬼 Yeah, well, probably because General Tsao's chicken.
是中了吗 他刚才 刚才... Is that it? Did he just -- did he just --
没错 克里斯 我们这边得到确认 Yes, Chris, we are getting confirmation
这是第一百万次 that was the millionth time!
这是南方公园激动人心的狂欢时刻 Excitement and revelry in South Park
这位小男孩刚开了 as a little boy has just made
第一百万次曹将军是胆小鬼的玩笑 the General Tsao's chicken joke for the one millionth time!
-啥 -小朋友 曹将军是胆小鬼这玩笑 - What? - Little boy, the General Tsao's Chicken joke,
经年来颇受欢迎 a favorite for years,
你刚说了第一百万次 有何感想 you've just hit the magic number, how's it feel?
我...啥 I -- what?
现在把支票颁发给他 He's being presented the check now.
一百万次
一张价值五千美元的老张华馆礼券 A five thousand dollar gift certificate to PF Chang's.
美式中餐馆
这场活动[竞选]犹如长征 This has been a long campaign
不过终于有人成功了 沃尔夫 but someone's finally done it, Wolf.
我们努力过了 老兄 Well, we tried, dude.
只是这似乎太不公平了 It just seems so unfair.
人们永远都不会知道在白宫里的不该是那家伙 People won't ever even know that the wrong man is in the white house.
换个角度去看这事 Well, I mean, look at it this way.
全国将近一半的人投了奥巴马的票 Almost half the country did actually vote for Obama.
即便选举真的就靠那些 If the election really just came down to
卡特曼偷走的选票决定 这有那么重要吗 a bunch of boxes that Cartman stole, then does it matter that much?
重要 斯坦 很重要 It matters, Stan. It matters.
来史蒂芬森悍马销售店 Come on down to Stephenson's Hummer
这里有十一月悍马圣诞大促销 for our big Christmas in Humvember sale!
不知在欢乐佳节给心爱的TA送什么礼物 Not sure what to get your loved one this holiday season?
何不给TA一辆气派悍马 Why not give them a nice Hummer?!
圣诞节清晨没有比悍马更好的礼物了 Nothing beats a Hummer on Christmas morning!
斯坦 你最近一次看到 Stan -- when's the last time you saw
有人开悍马是啥时候 somebody drive a Hummer?
好久以前 貌似是2010年 Uh, forever ago. Like 2010.
我的天哪 Oh my God.
今天是要去买悍马吗 Hey! Looking for a Hummer today?
这有09款的哟 Got some 2009s here.
从没开过的 新车哟 Never been driven -- ever.
走开 别来这 嘘 Go on, get outta here. Shoo!!!!
看啊 选票在这里 Look! There they are!!!
你们好 Hey! Hi there!
小朋友们喜欢悍马吗 来给你们秀一秀 You kids like Hummers, huh!?! Lemme show you these babies!
弟兄们 我们找到了 We found it, you guys!
不是吧 他们跟踪我们 Oh, no! They followed us!
太好了 亚洲人 你们好 Oh hell yes! Asians! Hey guys!
-别挡道 -不 - Get out of our way. - No!
这些不属于你们 是属于人民的 These don't belong to you. They belong to the people!
我没空跟你们瞎搅合 这场闹剧结束了 I am tired of playing games! This little farce is over!!!!
不见得 棠将军 警官们 这边 I don't think so, General Tsao. This way, officers!!
我滴天哪 真是促销疯抢啊 Oh my God, it's a sales rush!
老天 那些不会就是那啥吧 Oh my God, are those what I think they are?!
是的 为了民主 我们得把这些选票 Yes, we must show these to the public
公诸于众 对吧 凯尔 for democracy's sake! Right, Kyle?
长官 我们在镇外的悍马销售点有发现 Sir, we found something at the Hummer sales lot outside of town.
你们不明白 You don't understand!
我们是想保护有史以来最伟大的电影系列 We are trying to protect the greatest film series ever made!
-保护 -究竟是怎么回事 - Protect it? - What the hell is going on here!
或许我能解释给你们听 Perhaps I can explain it to you.
你们看 中国如此急切地希望 You see, it turns out the only reason
得到《星球大战》的唯一原因是 the Chinese so desperately wanted "Star Wars" is because
迪士尼可能不是这电影系列的宝地 they're afraid that Disney might not be the right place for it.
中方只想保卫 The Chinese simply want to guard
《星球大战》这完美无瑕的遗产 'Star Wars' impeccable legacy.
那是摩根·弗里曼吗 Is that Morgan Freeman?
现在我们身处十字路口 And now we are at a crossroads.
若把这些选票公诸于众 If these ballots are made public,
那么人们投票的那个人将成为总统 then the man that people voted for will be president,
但毫无疑问 but he will no doubt
他绝不准中国人染指《星球大战》 keep "Star Wars" from the Chinese
而是让迪士尼保留 and allow disney to keep it instead.
我们必须扪心自问 And so we have to ask ourselves:
哪个更重要 是选个对的总统 What's more important? That the right man is elected President
还是把《星球大战》交给最能保护它的人 or that "Star Wars" is with people who will protect it most?
四分队 有什么发现 完毕 Unit four, what is it? Over.
孩子们 Well, kid?
要是那么说的话 Well, if you put it that way.
请回答 四分队 请回答 Come in! Unit four, come in!
你们发现了什么 What have you found?!
没什么 长官 我们只是发现 Nothing, sir. We just found
没人要的车竟卖掉了好多 仅此而已 some tremendous deals on cars nobody wants, that's all.
巴克利报告完毕 Barkley, out.
不 奥巴马并没获胜 你们难道不在乎吗 No! But Obama wasn't really elected. Don't you people care?!