《南方公园》第19季 第2集 "我的祖国去了哪里"
I'm going down to south park gonna have myself a time
Friendly faces everywhere humble folks without temptation
Going down to south park gonna leave my woes behind
Ample parking day or night people shouting howdy neighbor
Heading on out to south park gonna see if I can't unwind
I like girls with big vaginas I like girls with big fat titties
Come on down to south park and meet some friends of mine.
■
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上周我们又一次意识到 Now, last week we were all reminded
偏见仍存在于这个国家 that intolerance still exists in our country.
翻译 牛懒贱 FOXER 嘤嘤 翻译 Tina Doe 胡好时
一名特别的小学生 It took a very special young student
在社交媒体上掀起轩然大波 to light up social media.
翻译 萌巴特斯赛太公 小肚腩
今天我们将他请到了白宫 We've invited him to the White House today
向他致敬 to show our appreciation.
因为从未有人像凯尔·布洛夫斯基一样 Because never have there been more tolerant, more moving words
校对 慕容龙飞 吃货丁小七
对自己的英雄凯特琳·詹娜[变性奥运冠军] than Kyle Broflovski's speech
发表过如此真挚感人的演讲 about his hero, Caitlyn Jenner.
时间轴 dreamdragon
请上来 凯尔 Come on up here, Kyle.
后期 鱼骨头 总监 吃货丁小七
看到没 这就是造成现状的原因 You see? There! This is why it's happening.
所有人都在宣扬平等开放 Everyone's preaching openness and acceptance,
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导致无数该死的移民非法入境 and so now millions of Goddamn immigrants are coming over the border,
而且没人管 and nobody seems to care!
你能怎么办呢 But what are you gonna do?
在当今这个世界 你根本不能发表 In today's world, it's like you can't even say
任何有关非法移民的负面评论 anything negative about illegal immigrants.
刚才是不是有人用"非法移民"这个词了 Did somebody over here say "illegal immigrants"?
正确的说法是"无证移民" Because the correct term is "undocumented immigrants,"
懂吗 老兄 all right, bro?
就好像没人在乎 It's like nobody cares!
他们就这样一拨接一拨 And they just keep coming,
带着他们粗俗邋遢的家人 crossing the border with their dirty families,
放着烂透的音乐越境 playing their stupid music.
看看他们 I mean, look at 'em!
我打赌当中没有一个是合法入境的 I'll bet not one of them is here legally.
好了 伙计 All right, guy!
你好 哥们 Hey, buddy.
-你好 哥们 -你们好呀 朋友 - Hey, buddy. - Hey, what's going on, friend?
加拿大
哥们 来瓶驼鹿[加拿大特色动物]啤酒不 Hey, buddy, another Moosehead, eh?
我们真该造堵墙挡住他们 We should have put up a Goddamn wall.
我们所要做的还不止这些 But wait. There's still more.
这个国家是由梦想家们建造的 Because this country was built on dreamers.
凯尔 我们会帮你实现梦想 And, Kyle, we want to make your dreams come true.
你的英雄就在眼前 凯特琳·詹纳 And so here is your hero, Caitlyn Jenner.
我想谢谢你 凯尔 I just want to say thank you, Kyle,
感谢你用如此感人的发言支持我 for your beautiful words of support.
凯尔 我们还为你准备了一个小惊喜 Now, Kyle, we got another little surprise for you.
原定计划是让你坐飞机回去 We told you we were flying you back home,
但现在 but the truth is,
你的英雄将会全程开车载你回家 you're getting a ride back all the way with your hero.
喜欢吗 How do you like that?
系好安全带 小牛仔 Buckle up, buckaroo.
凯特琳·詹纳变性前曾撞死过人并被指变性是为了逃避指控
好了 孩子们 都坐下来 Okay, children, let's take our seats.
你们可能已经听说了 政府已经决定 As you've probably noticed, our government has decided
允许所有想来的人 to let anyone who wants to
越过边境来我们国家捣乱 cross the border and screw up our country.
我知道你们都和我一样气愤 I know you're all as pissed off as I am,
所以不如赶紧进入今天的课程 so why don't we begin today's lesson
讲讲一时煊赫的罗马王朝是怎样沦为狗屎的 on why the once-great empire of Rome fell to shit.
谁来说说罗马是怎么沦陷的 Huh? Who can tell me why Rome fell to shit?
不 请本国学生回答 No, somebody who matters.
好吧 算了 橙色衣服的那个 All right, fine. In the orange shirt.
罗马王朝的衰败哥们 有很多原因伙计 The Roman Empire, buddy, was facing several issues, guy,
当它进入一个新千年时 朋友... as it reached a new millennium, friend...
给我说英语 Oh, speak in English!
真正的原因 就是有人 You see, what happened is that these immigrants
同情这些被称为哥特人的移民 called the Goths were welcomed into Roman territories
放他们进入了罗马的领土 because some people felt bad for them.
然后哥特人觉得 And then the Goths suddenly decided
自己受到了压迫 they were being oppressed, you see?
所以 之后... And so, then...
恰克·曼吉欧尼的Feel So Good
你他妈在做什么 What the hell are you doing?
现在是上午八点了 It's 8:00 A.M., guy.
真他妈够了 That's it!
你们这帮加拿大佬滚回你们自己的地方去 Why don't you Canucks go back where you came from?!
你真的以为可以把无证的加拿大移民 You really think you can refer to an undocumented immigrant
称作加拿大佬吗 as a "Canuck"?
政正校长 他们在我的课上 P.C. Principal, they got up in the middle of my lecture
演奏起乐曲来了 and started playing music.
你不知道每天八点到十点 So did you forget that at 8:00 and 11:00,
所有加拿大人要面朝东方 all Canadians face east
演奏恰克·曼吉欧尼的曲子吗 and play Chuck Mangione,
世界顶级爵士小号演奏家
还是你根本不屑去了解他们的宗教习俗 or did you not care to find out about their religious customs?
他们说的都不是英语 They -- they don't even speak English.
那你现在就得用双语教学了 Then you need to be teaching in both languages from now on.
麦基 给全体员工报加拿大语的夜校 Mackey, sign the faculty up for Canadian-language night classes.
什么 What?!
好的 政正校长 马上办 好么 Yes, P.C. Principal! R-right away! M'kay.
你要小心点 加里森 You're on thin ice, Garrison.
给我老老实实的 否则你就要被炒了 Get in line, or you'll be out of a job, bro.
他们现在在干什么 What are they doing now?
他们都在一起吃饭和祈祷 Well, they're all eating together and praying,
他们还往芝士通心粉上倒糖浆[加拿大特色] and they're putting syrup on their mac and cheese.
太奇怪了 Ugh! So weird.
他们人太多了 There's just so many of them.
伙计们 我觉得这一切都是个阴谋 You guys, I think this whole thing is a conspiracy.
-什么意思 -想想都发生了什么 - What do you mean? - Think about what happened.
数年来美国的边境线都固若金汤 America had pretty secure borders for years.
凯尔的一场关于宽容和接纳的演讲 Kyle gives a big speech about tolerance and acceptance
却如病毒般传播开来 that goes viral.
一大帮加拿大人非法穿过了边境 A bunch of Canadians cross the border illegally.
而凯尔的弟弟也是加拿大人 Kyle's brother is Canadian.
万一凯尔是有意做出的演讲 What if Kyle knowingly gave that speech
就为了让非法移民入境怎么办 to get all the illegals in?
我就坐在这里 I'm sitting right here.
而他就坐在这里 And he's sitting right here.
你们真的以为我的演讲 You really think just my speech
就是非法移民浪潮的罪魁祸首吗 brought on a wave of illegal immigration?
你确实有点过分了 伙计 You did kind of go overboard, dude.
什么 What?
只是 我知道你喜欢长篇大论什么的 It's just, I know you like giving speeches and stuff,
但是并不是所有事情都是非黑即白的 but not everything is black and white.
我是说 你想要去 Yeah, I mean, it's fine
鼓吹凯特琳·詹娜没有问题 you want to go preach about Caitlyn Jenner,
但是你不能不负责任地发表 but you can't just make blanket statements
让任何人做任何想做的事情这种言论 about letting anyone do whatever they want.
我压根不想去做那个演讲 I didn't even want to give that speech!
很有意思 Yeah, yeah. This is interesting.
你们读过《创世纪》第34章吗 Have you guys read Genesis 34?
非常有意思 Well, it's intriguing,
因为在《创世纪》第34章中 because in Genesis 34,
雅各一家作为外来犹太人欺骗并劫掠了全城人
犹太人做了 the Jews actually did
和凯尔现在做的类似的事情 something similar to what Kyle's doing now.
这事跟我没关系 I'm not responsible for this.
非法移民现象一直存在 Illegal immigration has been happening forever.
但是现在规模却大多了 But it's happening a lot more now,
就在你发表有关凯特琳·詹娜的演讲之后 after you decide to give a big speech about Caitlyn Jenner
因为你想要摧毁美国的文化结构 because you want to bring down the cultural fabric of America
因为你是个犹太人 'cause you're a Jew.
弟兄们 移民 无论非法与否 You guys, immigrants, either legal or illegal,
总能找到进入更富有国家的方式 are always gonna find ways to cross into richer countries
-若他们没生活在... -天哪又来了 - if they're not living... - Oh, boy. Here we go again.
我不听了 Yeah, I'm out.
抱歉 我不想再听一次了 Yeah, sorry. I can't listen to another one either.
朋友们 晚上好 Happy evening, friends.
我是史迪奇尼基巴劳资老师 My name is Mr. Stkrdknmibalz,
我们要开始学习加拿大语 and we are going to learn Canadian.
经过大量练习 你们会发现 With a lot of practice, you're going to find
说加拿大语并不困难 that speaking Canadian isn't so difficult,
实际上 我们的字母表和你们的很相似 and in fact, our alphabet and yours are fairly similar.
我们不如一起开始唱吧 So why don't we begin singing it together?
A B C D E F 伙计 A, B, C, D, E, F, Guy
H I J K L M N O 哥们 H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O, Buddy
Q R S T U 朋友 Q, R, S, T, U, Friend
W X 啊 噗 W, X, Eh, and Pbht!
这就是加拿大字母歌 These are Canadian ABCs
苏西喜欢大毛蛋 你们觉得如何 Susie likes hairy balls what do ya think of these.
好 大家一起来 All right, now everyone.
A B C D E F 伙计 A, B, C, D E, F, Guy
H I J K L M N O 哥们 H, I, J, K L, M, N, O, Buddy
Q R S T U 朋友 Q, R, S T, U, Friend
*我的祖国去了哪里* *Where has my country gone?*
*这曾是我们视若珍宝的机遇之地* *It was a land of opportunity that we held dear*
机动车辆管理局
*那些外来的混蛋不断涌进这里* *But now all these other assholes are comin' here*
*我的祖国啊去了哪里* *And where's my country gone?*
*仿佛眨眼之前它还在* *It was just here like two seconds ago*
停 停 哥们
*那时他们说这是自由之地* *Cause when they said that this was the land of the free*
*那时我还确信 这是属于我的祖国* *I'm pretty sure that they were referring to me*
*但它已逝去* *And my country's gone!*
*它悲伤沮丧 它陷入迷茫* *It got upset, and now it's wandered away*
*43位总统使我们立于荣耀* *It took 43 presidents to make us stand tall*
海狸[加拿大特色动物]尾油炸甜饼 5美[加]元
房屋出售
*一个黑佬就消解了一切 国将不国” *And just one black guy to unravel it all country gone! *
*请说出来 我们需要祖国恢复原样“ *Please tell it that we need her back home*
*自由的围栏上破了大洞* *There's a great big hole in the liberty bucket*
*因为某些人忘记叫外国佬们玩儿蛋去* *Cause someone forgot to tell the foreigners to suck it*
*于是他们现在在我的草坪上闲逛* *And now they're all hanging out on my lawn*
*于是他们把我的歌也毁了* *And now they're ruining my song*
*让它听起来像恰克·曼吉欧尼的曲子一样* *Making it sound like Chuck Mangione*
*我的祖国啊去了哪里* *Where my country gone?*
似乎这里的每一个人都不敢说真话了 Seems like everyone's afraid to speak the truth around here.
我决定起来战斗 Well, I'm throwing my hat in
我要解决这件事 and saying I'll figure this thing out.
我可能不懂政治或者移民政策 Now, I might not understand politics or immigration policies
或者法律 or the law
或者基本常识 or basic ideological concepts.
不过去他的 我只知道 But damn it, I understand
这里有一伙加拿大佬 there's a bunch of Canadians here,
而我得为此做些什么 and I'm gonna do something about it!
大家 听好了 All right, everyone, listen up.
为了增进理解 In order for better understanding,
我们邀请来自加拿大的同学们 we have asked students of Canadian origin
向大家介绍他们的文化以及 to introduce you to their culture and --
莱斯莉 闭上你的臭嘴 Hey, Leslie, shut your mouth! --
向大家介绍他们的文化和风俗 to introduce you to their culture and customs.
让我们集中全部的注意力 So let's give them our undivided attention
请他们带大家进入一段旅途 as they take us on a whirlwind journey
领略他们复杂的历史 through their diverse history.
我们是霍普维尔人和阿布纳基人 We are the Hopewell and Abenaki,
加拿大的第一批居民 伙计 first settlers of Canadian soil, guy.
我们是来自法国和英国的探险者 We are French and British explorers,
来寻找毛皮和其他货物 seeking furs and goods.
没错 我是丹·拉瑟 我给大家播报新闻 Yeah, and I'm Dan Rather, and I got news for you --
王牌电视新闻主播
这里没人喜欢你们 Nobody wants you here!
抱歉 我不是道歉 Sorry. Not sorry.
是时候该有人说这样的话 It's time for someone to say it like is
好让我们的国家重新变得伟大 and make our country great again.
加里森 你以为你... Garrison, what do you think you're --
我也不怕和政正校长对抗 And I'm also not afraid to stand up to P.C. Principal.
你 顶着你那张痘痘脸 玩你妈的蛋去吧 You, sir, have a pizza face, and you suck your mom's dick.
你够了 加里森 That's it, Garrison.
你被南方公园小学开除了 You are fired from South Park Elementary.
看见了吗 我被开除了 Oh, see? And now I'm fired.
这就是移民背后冰冷残酷的事实 That's the cold, hard truth of immigration.
我所信奉的移民政策 Well, there's only one immigration policy
只有一个 that I believe in,
那就是干死他们 and that's 'em all to death!
我只是说出了每个人的心里话 孩子们 I'm just saying what everyone's thinking here, kids.
抱歉 我不会道歉 Sorry. Not sorry.
弟兄们 那些加拿大佬很生气 Dude, the Canadians are pissed off.
真的该怪他们吗 Can you really blame them?
是什么刺激加里森老师那么做的 What made Mr. Garrison do that?
各位 或许这正是凯尔的计划呢 Guys, what if this was all exactly what Kyle planned?
把那些加拿大佬引来 再让他们遭受迫害 Get the Canadians here, make them feel persecuted,
然后呢 数不清的起义和叛乱 and then what? Uprisings, rebellion.
接下来说不定 Next thing you know,
他们会把我们送进集中营当牲口使唤 they're sending us to camps and using us as livestock.
凯尔真的会这么做吗 You really think Kyle would do that?
这不重要 That doesn't matter.
我们要赶紧想个办法解决这件事 We have to think of a way to smooth this over fast.
-我们需要一个象征性的联合 -什么 - Yeah, we're gonna need a symbolic union. - A what?
不是有个故事说 两帮人要打仗 You know, what's that story about the two sides
一边的一个男的 和另一边的一个女的 that were fighting, and then a guy from one side
俩人在一起好上了 got with a girl from the other side,
然后他们的爱把两帮人团结起来了吗 and their love sort of brought the groups together?
《狮子王2》 "Lion King 2"?
对 《狮子王2》 Yes, "Lion King 2."
如果我们的一个人 去追他们的一个人 I mean, if we can get one of us to go out with one of them,
说不定滚一下床单 probably have sex,
就能象征我们能和谐共处了 then it could be a symbol of us all getting along.
对 就像一个国家的公主 Yeah, it's kind of like when a princess of one country
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和另一个国家的王子联姻 marries the prince of another.
拜托 这太白痴了 Oh, come on. This is stupid.
当两个群体无法互相理解 You guys, when two groups of people don't understand each other,
你们不能这样去化解 you can't just try and diffuse
-他们的矛盾 -他真的 - the tensions with -- - Is he seriously --
这个时候他还要说大道理吗 Is he seriously giving a speech right now?
咱们快速选出一个人 This is gonna have to happen pretty fast,
不管是谁 都要去追一个加拿大女生 so whoever's gonna do it needs to ask a Canadian girl out soon.
-1 2 3 不是我 -不是我 - 1, 2, 3, not it. - Not it.
-不是我 -不是我 - Not it. - Not it.
-不是我 -不 不是我 - Not it. - No, no! Not it!
该死 Oh, shit!
CNN头条新闻
民众开始支持一名科罗拉多男子 Support is growing for a Colorado man
该男子声称 对付非法移民的办法 who claims the way to deal with illegal immigrants
就是操死他们 is to fuck them all to death.
我们现场连线明尼苏达 We go live to Minnesota.
汤姆 这位政治活动家正去往全国各地 Tom, the political activist is going around the country
为自己的理念寻求支持 to get support for his agenda.
加里森先生 您认为 And, Mr. Garrison, you believe
移民问题很容易解决 the immigration problem is easy to solve.
我的祖国去了哪里
对 操死他们 Yes. Fuck them all to death.
让美国重新强大起来 Let's make this country great again.
特朗普竞选名言
你说的"操死他们" And when you say, "Fuck them all to death,"
具体是想怎么做呢 what are you actually suggesting be done?
我的意思是把他们全抓起来 I'm suggesting we round them all up,
扒掉他们的裤子 pull down their pants, and fuck them
操到他们灵魂出窍 until their spirits leave their bodies.
美国万岁 U.S.A.!
等把他们每一个人都操死之后 And then after we've fucked every last one of them to death,
特朗普提议修建美墨边境墙
再建一堵墙 we build a big wall.
谁要是敢翻过来 And if anyone comes over the wall,
我们就操死他 we fuck them to death, too!
然后我们再操死 And then we fuck to death all --
丹 丹 Uh, Dan? Dan?
我们刚收到消息 有人已经建了一堵墙 We are getting word that a wall has already been built.
对吗 真的 Is that right? Yes?
CNN确认加拿大已经建了一堵墙来挡我们 CNN is confirming that Canada has built a wall to keep us out.
什么叫他们已经建了一堵墙 What do you mean they built a wall?!
他们怎么能这样 They can't build a fucking wall!
操死他们 Oh fuck them to death!
你们好啊 Hey, there!
天气多好啊 Beautiful day, isn't it?
这是什么鬼 What the hell is this?!
这个吗 墙啊 Oh, this? This is a wall.
抱歉 任何人都不能进来 Sorry, buddy. Nobody allowed in.
他们可以这样做吗 Can they do that?
我们来 Look, we came to speak
是想跟你们政府谈 with your government about the --
不好意思 这边的一切都是我们的 Yeah, no, sorry! Everything past here is ours.
你们 你们不能过来 You can't -- you can't go past -- past here.
我们是美国人 We're Americans!
我们根本不想过去 We don't even want to be over there!
你以为我们要干嘛 What do you think we're gonna do?
我们只是不想让你们 Well, you know, we just don't want you
操我们的女人 raping our women and stuff.
简直丧心病狂 That is ridiculous!
得了吧 你牛逼 别废话 All right, smart-ass, that's just about enough --
这墙后面超屌的 Look, there's just some really cool shit back here,
我们并不太想分享 and we don't feel like sharing it.
什么东西超屌 Cool shit like what?
别想了 Don't worry about it.
到底是啥 让我看看 No. What's back there? Let me see!
算了 加里森 It's all right, Garrison.
你大爷的 给老子看看 No, Goddamn it! Let me see!
戴眼镜的那个怎么样 What about that one in the glasses?
她挺好看啊 She's kind of hot.
她才不好看 She's not hot.
就像根长了鸡鸡的烂黄瓜一样 She looks like a messed-up cucumber with wieners on it!
好吧 All right.
那个瘦瘦高高的呢 How about the lanky one there?
戴帽子那个呢 Ooh, ooh! What about the one in the hat?
加拿大九十年代中期女摇滚明星
她有点像艾拉妮丝·莫莉赛特 She kind of looks like Alanis Morissette, huh?
拉妮丝·莫莉赛特都有八十多岁了 Alanis Morissette is like 80 years old or something!
-老天 -巴特斯 淡定 -Geez! -Okay, B-Butters, relax.
我不想找加拿大女朋友好吗 埃里克 Well, I don't want a Canadian girlfriend, Eric!
好吧 所以你想要种族战争咯 Okay, you just want a race war?
不想 No!
穿白鞋那个没那么丑 The one in the white shoes isn't that ugly.
那就去上穿白鞋那个 Okay, go fuck the one in the white shoes.
好吧 Okay.
你好 我是巴特斯 你叫什么 Hi. My name is Butters. What's yours?
我叫夏洛特 I'm Charlotte.
夏洛特 我从没这么做过 Oh, Charlotte, I've never done this before.
《狮子王2》台词
你觉得刀疤在上面么 You think Scar's up there?
他不是我的父亲 但他依然是我的一部分 He wasn't my father, but he's still part of me.
哦 不 辛巴 我们还没开始呢 Oh, no, Simba. We have barely begun.
我们会一起私奔 然后 然后 We'll run away together and -- and...
然后组建属于我们的狮群 And start a pride all of our own.
汤姆 加拿大边境的对峙变得异常激烈 Tom, the scene at the Canadian border is electric
几名政界要员正尝试找出 as several political leaders try and strategize
如何应对被加拿大封锁的策略 how to deal with being shut out of Canada.
欢迎来到加拿大
如果加拿大政府想建一堵墙 If the Canadian government wants to put up a wall,
他们有这样的权利 they have every right.
然而 我们必须质疑此举的必要性 And yet, we must ask why they thought this to be necessary.
不 操他们 也操你 No, fuck them, and fuck you.
我就想看看墙后面是不是真的很屌 I want to see if they have really cool shit back there.
我们需要的是 What we need is a --
不 你有一深逼 而你有一对酸爽的蛋蛋 No, you've got a gaping gash, and you've got vinegary balls.
加拿大人不能这么做 The Canadians can't do this!
他们没意识到成千上万的加拿大人 Don't they realize that hundreds of thousands of their people
偷渡到了这里吗 are over here illegally?
你们当时难道没立墙么 Oh, you guys didn't put up a wall?
把你的破嘴闭上 傻逼 And you keep your goddamn mouth shut, smart ass!
你给我等着 I'll deal with you.
我来摆平这事 我要去墙后面 I get things done, and I'm getting back there!
给你 Here you go.
谢谢 巴特斯 Thanks, Butters.
对卜起我之前连冰激凌是什么都不知道 I'm sore-y I didn't know what ice cream was.
什么是对卜起 What's sore-y?
就是加拿大人表达歉疚时用的词 Well, that's what Canadians say to express remorse.
挺不错的 Oh. H-Hey, that's neato.
等一下 夏洛特 稍等一下 Hang on, Charlotte, one sec.
你想干嘛 What do you want?
有没有跟她打过"快炮" Have you given her the old Hot Cosby yet?
没 我们看了场电影 现在去公园 No. We saw a movie, and now we're going to the park.
巴特斯 没时间谈情说爱了 Butters, we don't have time for that.
跟你说了 我们要通过打“快炮”直入主题 I told you, you have to cut to the chase with a Hot Cosby.
如果我要这女孩在一起 If I'm gonna be with this girl, I don't want her
我可不想未来她觉得我太急 someday thinking it was all super rushed.
没人会关心40年以后 Nobody cares about 40 years from now
她突然改主意的时候 巴特斯 when she suddenly changes her mind, Butters.
时间就是关键 我们都要死了 Time is of the essence! We're all gonna die!
一切都还好吗 Everything all right?
没事 只是点工作上的事 Yeah, just some work-related stuff.
我想问你 So, hey, I wanted to see
明天是否想来我家吃晚饭 if you wanted come over to my house for dinner tomorrow.
天啊 好呀 我可想去了 Oh, boy. Yes, I'd love to.
看来箭在弦上了 天啊 Here we go. Oh, God.
尼亚加拉大瀑布国家公园
好的 很好 Okay, that's -- that's good.
小心我的蛋蛋 Watch the balls.
好了 把头盔给我 Okay, all right, give me the helmet.
来看看他们在那座墙后藏了什么鬼 We'll see what they've got behind that Goddamn wall.
朋友们 你们知道我是什么人吗 You know what I am, friends?
我是个付诸行动的人 I'm a doer.
对 对 没错 Yeah! Yeah! That's right!
加拿大说我们不能进他们国家 Canada says we can't go into their country,
我就偏要进他们国家 I'm going into their country!
等我进去了 And when I do,
我要把全加拿大人都狠操一遍 I am fucking every last Canadian so hard!
好了 咱们行动吧 All right, let's do this.
美国 美国 美国 U.S.A, U.S.A, U.S.A!
美国 美国 U.S.A, U.S.A!
美国 美国 美国 U.S.A, U.S.A, U.S.A!
美... U.S--
靠 他死了 Aw, he's dead.
年轻人 据我所知 So, young man, I understand
你与我女儿开始了一段感情 that you and my daughter have started a romance.
这个嘛 是的 先生 Well, uh -- Well, yes, sir.
看来你对加拿大妞有特殊好感啊 And I suppose you have a thing for Canadian girls, huh?
是不是啊 专泡枫糖妹 Is that it? You've got maple fever?
爸爸 Eh, Daddy!
抱歉 夏洛特 但我不得不怀疑 I'm sorry, Charlotte, but I get suspicious.
我们被迫住在美国已经够惨了 It's bad enough we have to live in America.
现在有枫糖妹癖的死小鬼 Now all the boys with maple fever
全都会想来搞我女儿 are gonna want to have at our daughter.
-别说了 托马斯 -等等 - That's enough, Tomas. - Wait.
你们不想住在美国吗 You don't want to be here?
我们为什么会想住在美国 Why would we want to be here?
因为... Well, you know,
美国所有东西都超赞 有很多屌爆的东西 'cause everything is great here, and we have cool stuff.
加拿大什么都有 Canada has everything.
它是世界上最棒的国家 It's the greatest country on Earth.
但是 为什么你们要离开呢 But -- so, then why did you leave?
加拿大大选的时候 有几个候选人 There were several candidates during the Canadian elections.
其中一个候选人是个说话不经脑的傻逼 One of them was this brash asshole who just spoke his mind.
他从没对任何问题提供解决方案 He didn't really offer any solutions.
就只是光说一些疯狂的大话 He just said outrageous things.
我们觉得挺搞笑的 We thought it was funny.
从没人真的觉得他会成为总统 Nobody really thought he'd ever be President.
就只是当个玩笑 It was a joke.
但我们让这个笑话存在过久 But we just let the joke go on for too long.
他势头越来越大 He kept gaining momentum,
等到我们准备好要说 and by the time we were all ready to say,
"好了 别闹了 到底该谁当总统"时 "Okay, let's get serious now. Who should really be President?"
他已经在就职宣誓了 He was already being sworn into office.
我们压根就没注意 We weren't paying attention.
我们压根就没放在心上 We weren't paying attention!
天啊 一个总统是能烂到什么程度 Geez. How bad can a President be?
如果有人想离开这个国家 随他们 If certain people want to leave this country, then let them!
叫那些孬种死基佬来舔我蛋吧 You tell those pussy homos they can suck my balls!
但总统先生 But, Mr. President --
也告诉日本首相 And tell the prime minister of China
让他也来舔我的蛋吧 that he can suck my balls!
-对了 约翰逊 -怎么了 总统先生 - Oh, and Johnson -- Mr. President?
舔我蛋吧 Suck my balls.
我爸爸说那些话 真对卜起 I'm sore-y about my papa.
他有时候容易情绪激动 He can be really emotional sometimes.
你不需要说对卜起 You don't got to be sore-y.
我才该说对卜起 It's me who should be sore-y.
我觉得大家都误会 I think everyone has the wrong idea
你们加拿大人了 夏洛特 about your people, Charlotte.
没事的 It's okay.
我们给他们一点时间就好了 We just have to give them time.
我本不该有这段时间的 I wasn't supposed to have time.
我本来应该是要给你一发"快炮" I was supposed to give you a Hot Cosby
好让我们两个种族能共存 so our species could coexist.
但现在我了解到 你们根本不想待在这里 But now I realize you guys don't even want to be here.
那你现在想待在这里吗 So do you want to be here? Now?
金国银国都没有美国好 There's really nowhere I'd rather be.
如果你愿意的话 If it's okay with you...
我想和你尝试下"慢炮" I'd like to try a nice Slow Cosby instead.
在加拿大 我们把"慢炮"称作 In Canada, we call a Slow Cosby
爱 "love".
快看 Oh, look!
流星 A shooting star.
在加拿大 这是好运的象征 In Canada, we say that's good luck.
我们这也是 So do we.
有人吗 Hello?
苍天啊 大地啊 Oh, God! Oh, God!
怎么没人呢 兄弟 Where is everyone, guy?
我操 Geez.
*安 全* * S-A-F-E-T-Y *
*安全之舞* *Safety dance*
*我们想跳就跳* *We can dance if we want to*
*我们想走...* *We can leave your...*
我操 What?!
美国佬是怎么翻过我国围墙的 How did a U.S. citizen get past my wall?
我来是想知道我的祖国到底去哪了 I came here to find out where my country gone.
你的祖国去哪了 那我的祖国又去哪了 Where your country gone? Where my country gone!
不 是我的祖国去哪了 贱人 No, where my country gone, bitch!
还从来没人敢这么跟我说话 哥们 Nobody talks to me like that, buddy!
也从来没人敢这么跟我说话 屁友 Nobody talks to me like that, fwiend!
-小婊砸 -这就是我建围墙的原因 - Little asshole! -This is why I built that wall!
你以为你能... You think you can--
去死吧 去死吧 There you go! There you go!
我来这只为了一件事 I came here to do one thing!
我操 你干什么 Hey, what the-- Aah!
很疼的好吗 哥们 Hey, that pokes, buddy! Aah!
我了个操 兄弟 Oh, my God, guy.
求你了 我没法 求你了 放过我 Please! Please, I can't -- Oh! No, please!
不 不 No! No!
不 No!
快瞧瞧他们 托马斯 Oh, look at them, Thomas.
我觉得他们俩是真心相爱的 I think they really like each other.
是啊 我不得不承认 Yes, I have to admit,
看来他们确实陷入"慢炮"了 it seems they're actually falling in Slow Cosby.
我去开 I'll get it.
你听说了吗 哥们 Hey, did you hear the news, buddy?
加拿大总统被活活操死了 The Canadian president has been fucked to death.
万岁 万岁 Yes! Yes!
啥 你说真的吗 What? Are you sure?
怎么了 托马斯 What is it, Thomas?
加拿大总统被活活操死了 亲爱的 The Canadian president got fucked to death, darling.
我了个天啊 Oh, my goodness!
那我们可以回加拿大了吧 Should we go back to Canada, then?
是啊 我们回去吧 Yes, I guess, let's go back.
-再见 哥们 -拜拜 - See ya! Buddy. - Bye!
夏洛特 Charlotte!
我一回到家就跟你视频 亲爱的 I'll Skype you when I'm home, my love!
早知道就该来一发快炮的 Ah, I should've done the Hot Cosby.
-你做到了 加里森 -谢谢 加里森 - You did it, Garrison! - Thank you, Garrison!
朋友们 我想我已经证明 Friends, I think I've proven
我的政策能够摆平一切 that my policies work to get things done.
我知道我真正的使命 I know what my true calling is,
我要继续如此 一路迈进华盛顿 and I am going to keep this going all the way to Washington.
等等 都等下 不是我 Hold on! Wait! It wasn't me!
不是我把加拿大人引到这来的 I wasn't the one who brought the Canadians here.
而是因为有这样的人 It was something just like this.
难道你们没发现吗 Don't you see?
要说我们到底吸取了什么教训 If there's anything we've learned,
那就是我们必须制止这样的煽动性政策 it's that we have to stop this kind of sensationalistic politics
免得历史在我们这重演 before the same thing happens to us,
因为我们让这样的 because if we let this kind of...
这 this...
样的 kind of...
哥们 Dude.
不是吧 Unbelievable.
好了 朋友们 我将就此一别 All right, my friends, I have to say goodbye now
与我的竞选伙伴们一同前往华盛顿 because I'm off to Washington with my running mate.
坐好了 牛仔 Buckle up, buckaroo!
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