《南方公园》第19季 第4集 "不要点评"
I'm going down to south park gonna have myself a time
Friendly faces everywhere humble folks without temptation
Going down to south park gonna leave my woes behind
Ample parking day or night people shouting howdy neighbor
Heading on out to south park gonna see if I can't unwind
I like girls with big vaginas I like girls with big fat titties
Come on down to south park and meet some friends of mine.
■
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城中城
翻译 牛懒贱 Foxer 嘤嘤 翻译 Tina 胡好时 赛太公
全食超市
早安 兰迪 Morning, Randy.
翻译 爱吃屎的爱卿遛赛太公徒孙小肚腩
早啊 杰 Morning, Ger.
又是幸福的一天啊 Just another day in paradise, huh?
看看全食超市开张后 Yeah, look at all these new restaurants
校对 慕容龙飞 吃货丁小七
新开的这些餐馆 the Whole Foods has brought in.
尝尝那边那家吧 Let's try out that one there.
时间轴 dreamdragon
两位 谢谢 Hi. Two of us, please.
不好意思 您可能得等上半个钟头 Yeah, sorry, guys. We got about a 30-minute wait.
借过一下 Oh, uh, excuse me.
后期 鱼骨头 总监 吃货丁小七
好的先生 马上给您安排位子 Yes, sir. Give me a second. I'll have a table right away.
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你跟他说了什么 Whoa. What'd you say to him?
告诉他我的身份而已 I just told him who I am.
你的身份 Who are you?
我是点评网评论员 I'm a Yelp reviewer.
我通常都很低调 I usually keep it on the down-low
免得他们太过阿谀奉承 so they don't kiss my ass too much.
请跟我来 先生 Right over here, sir.
两位 欢迎来到家乡菜馆 All right, guys, welcome to Vernacular.
谢谢 他们告诉你我是网评员了吗 Thanks. Uh, did they mention to you that I am a Yelper?
是的 提醒过了 先生 Yes, we've been alerted, sir.
很好 Great.
能把灯调亮一点吗 Could you have them turn the lights up a little, please?
你瞧瞧 杰拉德 新搬进来的居民 Oh, look at it, Gerald... all the new families moving in.
努埃瓦家庭餐厅 墨西哥特色食品
咱们小镇也慢慢发展起来了 Our little town is all grown up.
还有一盘玉米卷呢 客人催了 Where's that other taco plate? We need it now!
我忙不过来了 I'm a little overwhelmed.
我知道 但我们把一切 I know, but we put everything
都押在这家餐厅上了 into moving here and starting this business,
我们必须一鸣惊人 and we have to be impressive.
大维 尽你所能帮帮妈妈 David, you must help your mama however you can.
我们打死也不能回那个鬼地方了 We're not going back to that miserable place.
我也不想回去 I don't want to go back, either.
-做好了 -太好了 - Okay, done. - Great!
我们必须给这位顾客留个好印象 We really have to impress this customer.
他是本地的美食评论员 He's a local food critic.
又是评论员 Another one?
请享用 朋友 Okay, here you go, amigo...
刚出炉的玉米卷和牛肉卷 another taco plate and the taquitos.
谢谢 Oh, thank you.
我有说过我是点评网评论员吗 And did I mention I am a food critic for Yelp?
是的 你提了好几次 Yes, you mentioned that several times.
好吧 只是让你有个准备 Okay, I just didn't want you caught off guard.
我在考虑给你们五星好评 I was thinking of giving this place five stars.
真的吗 Really?
但我现在在五星与一星之间犹豫不决啊 Yeah, but I'm kind of teetering on five stars or one star.
不不不 别给一星 拜托了 Oh, no, no. No one star, please.
我们怎样才能... What can we do to...
有免费甜品的话我没准会回心转意 I mean, I could probably be persuaded with some free desserts.
马上为您准备 Let me get that for you.
很好 把音乐关小声点行吗 Great. And could you turn down the music a bit?
这鬼音乐简直在强奸我耳朵 This pagan shit hurts my ears.
当然 Of course.
喂 喂 服务员 Oh, hey. Hey, busboy.
服务员 服务员 叫你呢 Busboy! Busboy! Por favor!
-服务员 -我叫大维 - Busboy! - My name is David.
你说什么 Excuse me?
我说我叫大维 I said my name is David.
正确的读法是"大卫"好吗 Uh, it's actually pronounced "Day-vid," Okay?
我就是大维 Well, I'm "Da-veed."
是"大卫" 伙计 翻翻字典吧 It's David, dude. Look it up.
怎么了 What's going on?
别和他吵 儿子 我们需要好评 Do not argue, son. We need him.
您请 免费甜点 There you are -- a few free desserts.
不好意思 又有客人了 Oh, excuse me. More customers.
你好 我们俩来吃午餐 Hi. Two of us for lunch, please.
好的 马上就来 Yes. Right away.
另外 我想提一下 Oh, and, uh, I just wanted to mention
我和我妻子都是点评网用户 that my wife and I are Yelp reviewers,
所以请给我你们最好的桌子 so, uh, your best table, please.
天哪 你们也是吗 Oh, geez. You guys, too, huh?
好吧 请到这边坐好吗 Okay, um, I'll get you set up right over here, okay?
这地方似乎不错 Hmm. This place seems nice.
我觉得还要再看看 I guess we'll see.
我们还要再看看 对吧 I guess we'll see, won't we?
上帝 现在所有人都以为自己是美食评论家 Oh, God. Now everyone thinks they're a food critic.
警告 点评网用户出没
你拿到了吗 你拿到了吗 你拿到了吗 Did you get them? Did you get them? Did you get them? Huh?
给 Here you go.
橄榄花园的香脆炸饭团 Crispy risotto bites from Olive Garden.
你是怎么做到的 埃里克 How do you do it, Eric?
我是餐厅点评家 巴特斯 I'm a restaurant critic, Butters.
我想要什么都可以 I get whatever I want.
天哪 Geez.
食堂在那边 So, the cafeteria's back that way,
而大部分教室都在这边... and most of the classrooms are this way down the --
一个服务员在这里干什么 Ew! What's the busboy doing here?
大维是新来的 David is new to our school.
真棒 Oh, cool.
你也会擦这里的桌子吗 Are you gonna clean the tables here, too?
你怎么来学校的 骑着你的小小脚踏车吗 How do you get to school? Do you ride your tiny bicicleta?
闭嘴 Shut up.
朋友 很抱歉 Look, amigo, I'm sorry
我只给了你爸妈的餐厅两颗星 I only gave your parents' restaurant two stars,
但已经不错了 but it could've been worse.
你为什么只给他们两颗星 Why'd you only give them two stars?
抱歉 可是你们的食物伤了我的胃 I'm sorry, but the food totally messed my stomach up.
吃完以后第二天早上 我去洗手间 The morning after I ate it, I went to the bathroom,
拉的屎都是固体 完全不含水分 and my poop was all solid -- like, no water at all.
那本来就不应该含水啊 你... It's not supposed to have water, you --
有这么大一条 固体的 It was like this one, solid piece
我得用力才能挤出屁眼 that I had to push out my asshole.
感觉就像被人从里面强奸了一样 It was like being raped from the inside.
你爸妈的餐厅 Your parents' restaurant
反正达不到我的要求 大卫 just wasn't up to my standards, "Day-vid."
-大维 -大卫 - "Da-veed". - "Day-vid".
大维 "Da-veed".
-大卫 -大维 - "Day-vid". - "Da-veed".
大卫 大卫 大卫 大卫 "Day-vid". "Day-vid". "Day-vid". "Day-vid".
我两秒之内就能把评论变成一颗星 I can update this to a one-star review in two seconds, dude.
神啊 我真喜欢当餐厅评论员 Oh, God, I love being a restaurant critic.
然而 情况不止如此 And yet, there was more.
在这秋天即将过去的时节 For in this crisp time when autumn begins to fade,
厨师们用超辣的哈瓦那辣椒浸泡鸡肉 the chef brines chicken in haba?ero
甚至将哈瓦那辣椒粉洒在面饼上 and even adds Habanero powder to the crust.
但辣度被控制了 But the heat is restrained.
你能品尝这带有果香的美味 You experience the fruity, delicious flavor of this
而无需忍受辣度带来的疼痛 without any spicy pain.
我不需要更多的疼痛了 I don't need anymore pain.
是吧 有人这么觉得吗 Hell, does anyone?
杰拉德 我们要去公园 Gerald, we're going to the park.
你想一起来吗 You want to come along?
抱歉 亲爱的 Sorry, honey.
这条对苹果蜂餐厅的评价已经写了五十页 This review for Applebee's has turned into a 50-pager.
我还需要润色一下对"红宝石周二"的评价 Then I have a polish on Ruby Tuesday's.
你能不能先停止评论休息一下呢 杰拉德 Why don't you take a break from Yelping, Gerald?
你有点太激动了 You seem a little overwhelmed.
我是很激动 I am overwhelmed.
有时候 我不知道我把自己置身于何地了 Sometimes, I don't know what I've gotten myself into.
可现在所有人都依赖我的点评网评论 But now everyone relies on my Yelp reviews,
而我不想让任何人失望 and I-I don't want to let anyone down.
如果你饿了 冰箱里有鸡肉 Well, there's chicken in the fridge if you get hungry.
谢谢 但我今晚还要点评城中城一间新餐厅 Thanks, but I-I got Yelp a new place in Shi Tpa Town tonight.
天啊 我真的好累 God, I'm so damn tired.
好吧 玩得开心 Okay, have fun.
她说让我"开心" Ha. "Fun," She says.
最后 我想说 In finality, I would say
我在苹果蜂的体验非常棒 my experience at Applebee's was sublime
我受到的款待如同一位荣誉的角斗士 and my treatment near that of a gladiator most decorated.
但是街边停车不是很方便 But the street parking wasn't that great.
两星半 Two-and-a-half stars.
就是这样 Yes.
来吧 莱莎 我带你认识下女同学们 Come on, Liza. I'll introduce you to the girls.
你不吃午饭吗 埃里克 Well, aren't you eating lunch, Eric?
我是个美食评论家好吗 巴特斯 I am a food critic, Butters, okay?
我怎么能吃这种食堂菜呢 I can't just eat cafeteria food.
来了 来了 给您 先生 Okay, here you are, sir!
这是陈皮鸡 There's Orange Peel Chicken,
一些城中牛肉和一个城中蛋卷 some City Beef, and a City Egg Roll!
你开玩笑吗 Are you joking?
好吧 你的确有点迟到 Well, you are a little late.
我想想 大概是"只有一星"的那种迟到 Like, I don't know, maybe only-one-star late.
不要 不要一星 求你了 Oh, no. No one star, please.
你们这些点评用户要逼死我了 You Yelpers are killing me.
好 你不用付钱 不用付钱 拜托 Okay, you no pay. You no pay. Please.
听起来不错 现在给我滚出去 Sounds good. Now get the fuck out of here.
好的 好的 我这就滚 谢谢 Yes, yes! I'll get the fuck out! Thank you!
你可真是重要人物啊 埃里克 Wow. Well, you're pretty important, Eric.
他压根不是什么重要人物 He's not important at all.
我是 不 你是对的凯尔 我不重要 Yeah, no. No, no, you're right, Kyle. I'm not important.
大卫 我刚才还在想 Oh, hey, David, I was just wondering.
你是怎么来学校的 Um, how do you get to school?
骑着你的小小脚踏车吗 Do you ride your tiny bicicleta? Eh?
-别说了 -怎么了 - Stop it. - What?
我只是想听他说 I just want to hear him say,
"是的 俺骑着俺的小小脚踏车上学" "Si, me ride me tiny bicicleta to school."
是的 俺骑着俺的小小脚踏车上学 Si, me ride me tiny bicicleta to school.
真棒 That's awesome.
我要出去玩了 I'm gonna go out to recess.
大卫 把这些清理干净好吗 谢谢 Will you bus this for me, David? Thanks.
不要 伙计 伙计 别去 Ah, don't. Dude -- Dude, don't.
长官 已经半夜了 Sir, it's midnight.
回家吧 睡一觉 Go home. Get some sleep.
我没时间睡觉 这座城市需要我 There's no time to sleep when the city's counting on me.
还要写点评吗 长官 More Yelp reviews, sir?
我在红龙虾餐厅有了一次糟糕的体验 I had a bad experience at Red Lobster,
如果人们不知道 可能会有类似遭遇 and if the people don't know about it, they could, too.
人们应该知道去哪吃饭 米奇 Folks deserve to know where to eat, Mitch.
但是有任何人为此感谢你吗 But does anyone even thank you for it?
我不需要被感激 I don't need them to.
我知道他们需要我 这就够了 I know they need me, and that's enough.
上帝保佑您 长官 God bless you, sir.
我感受得到 I know.
吹口哨的威利披萨谷 始创于1986年
欢迎来到吹口哨的威利 Welcome to Whistlin' Willy's.
披萨好吃吗 Y'all enjoying your pizza?
听着 朋友 Look here, my good man.
我们已经等了15分钟了 We've been waiting over 15 minutes
就为了等你给我们宝贝唱"生日快乐" for you to sing "Happy Birthday" o our son.
很不幸 Unfortunately for you,
我们俩都是餐厅评论员 儿子也是 we are both restaurant critics, and so is our son.
一星 One star.
注意 紧急情况 这边有紧急情况 Excuse me! Emergency! Over here! Emergency!
请给我一张桌子 I would like a table inside the area
要在那个塑料小球池里面 with all the little plastic balls, please.
立刻给我布置好 我是点评网评论家 And make it snappy. I am a food critic for Yelp.
到此为止了 我受够了 That does it! I've had enough!
你们这些点评网用户全都滚出去 All you Yelp reviewers get the hell out of here!
我不在乎生意会怎样了 I don't care what happens to my business!
我再也不跪舔你们了 I ain't kissing your asses no more!
滚 Go on.
所有点评网用户 从这里滚出去 Every Yelper, get the fuck out of here!
你小心点 比尔 Careful now, Bill.
你不会想要一星评价的 You don't want a one-star review.
你不是个美食评论家 丹尼斯 You're not a food critic, Dennis!
你就是个操蛋的机修工 You're a fucking mechanic!
现在滚出去吧 滚 Now get the fuck out! Go on!
你们这些狗娘养的点评网用户都给我滚 All you Yelping sons of bitches get the fuck out of here!
你会后悔的 吹口哨的威利 You're gonna regret this, Whistlin' Willy.
你不能这么对待点评网用户 You can't treat Yelpers this way.
你给我滚 滚蛋 You get the -- get the out!
你是好样的 Well, good for you.
你也一样 狗娘养的 You, too, you son of a bitch.
结束了 都结束了 It's over! It's over!
看报纸了吗 都结束了 You see paper?! It's over!
吹口哨的威利站出来反抗点评网了 Whistlin' Willy! He stand up to the Yelpers!
我们不用跪舔点评网用户了 We don't have to kiss their asses anymore!
驱赶点评网用户使吹口哨的威利生意火爆
看 大家都在效仿呢 Look! Everybody doing the same!
点评网用户谢绝入内
终于结束了 It's over! It's over!
斯基特 你听说了吗 Hey, Skeeter, you hear the news?
这是奇迹 It's a miracle.
这真是奇迹 It's a miracle!
我操 What the fuck!
有人洒了一坨不知什么东西在地板上 Uh, dude, somebody spilled shit on the floor.
大卫 有人洒了东西 Hey, David, somebody spilled something here.
你能过来清一下吗 拜托 Could you clean this up, por favor?
大卫 David?
这里 地板上有脏东西 Over here. There's some shit on the floor.
喂喂喂 你干嘛呢 Hey, hey, hey, hey. What's going on, man?
你没听说吗 You haven't heard?
没人会再鸟点评网用户的想法了 Nobody gives a fuck what Yelp reviewers think anymore.
你说什么呢 What are you talking about?
我可是本地最有影响力的评论家 I'm the most influential critic in this town.
好吧 大卫 别管脏东西了 Okay, David, forget the spill.
只要说一句 "我叫大卫 Just give me one little, "My name is David.
俺骑脚踏车上学" Me ride me bicicleta to school."
我叫大维 My name is "Da-veed."
好啊 我要更新评论 Okay, I'm -- I'm updating my review.
我要更新咯 I'm about to do it.
快说 俺骑脚踏车上学 You better say, "Me ride me bicicleta to school!"
一星哦 One star.
零星 No -- no stars?
零星哦 No stars?
你不能不把我当回事 You can't just treat me like I'm nothing.
我知道我很重要的 I still know I'm worth something.
走吧 各位 Come on, guys.
那啥 你们留在学校 Oh, yeah. Y-you guys stay at school.
没关系 你们留下 That's cool. Y-you guys stay here.
点评网用户谢绝入内
努埃瓦家庭餐厅 我们不鸟美食评论家
埃里克 Oh, hey, Eric.
都结束了 巴特斯 It's all over, Butters.
我努力创造的一切都没了 Everything I've worked so hard to achieve.
这些自以为是的伪评论家 All these hack wannabe food critics
害我这个专家成了笑话 have made my profession a joke.
真遗憾 兄弟 Aw, I'm sorry, bud.
这些人都想像我一样专业 All these people trying to be like me,
可他们连第二天的大便稠度都不写 and they don't even write about poop consistency the next day.
埃里克 你应该自豪大家都想成为你 Well, Eric, you should be proud that people want to be like you.
你开创了先河 I mean, you really started something.
也许吧 I guess.
如果大家都仰慕你 Well if these people look up to you,
或许你可以澄清一下 maybe -- maybe you can sort of set the record straight
告诉他们该怎么做 and show them the way it's supposed to be done.
你说得对 巴特斯 You're right, Butters.
说不定我可以利用这些人 Maybe I can actually use all these people somehow
让真正的美食评论家重新得到尊重 to make real food critics respected again.
哈里森·耶茨 你怎么了 Harrison Yates, what's gotten into you?
就这样了 玛姬 我不评论美食了 That's it, Maggie. I'm hanging it up.
大家如果想去镇里的新餐馆 If people are gonna be trying all the new restaurants in town,
只能不看我的评论直接去了 they'll have to do it without my reviews.
你在说什么呢 What are you talking about?
你不是说保护人们的就餐体验 You said that protecting people from bad dining experiences
是你的动力吗 was what kept you going.
各个餐馆都立了牌子说不欢迎我 The restaurants put up signs saying I can't come in.
我不知道他们为什么针对我 I don't know why they singled me out,
可是人们好像不需要我了 but it's like people don't need me.
真是见鬼 Well, I'll be damned.
怎么了 What is it?
有人在信箱里塞了张字条 Somebody's put a note in the mailbox
要我过去跟他们谈谈 asking me to come and talk to them.
点评网用户们 我们需要你
他们还是需要我 They do need me.
我该走了 I need to get going.
要我一起去吗 You want me to come along?
不 他们只请了我 No. They're just asking for me.
看来这个城镇还需要我来保护 I guess maybe I do have a town to protect.
你要举办派对吗 亲爱的 Oh, are you having a party, sweetheart?
不是派对 老妈 Not a party, Mom.
我请了所有装逼美食评论员来开会 I've invited all the poser food critics over for a meeting.
多有趣呀 Oh, how fun.
才不有趣 这很严肃 It's not fun. It's serious.
这些人以为自己可以跟我一样 These people think they can do what I do,
但他们必须看清现实 but they need to be made to understand the reality.
点评网用户来了之后 你就消失行不 When the Yelpers get here, I need you to get lost, okay?
他们来了 来了 快 Okay, that's them, that's them. Go!
快消失 老妈 Get lost, Mom!
我是点评网用户
你好呀 Hello! Hi!
我是 My name is—
我来参加会议的 I'm here for the meeting.
是在这里吗 Is this the right place?
妈咪 Mom!
我这就走 宝贝 I'm going, honey.
妈妈 外面得有几亿人啊 Mom, there's like a billion people here!
是啊亲爱的 我觉得点评网用户应该挺多的 Oh, yes, sweetie. I think quite a few people are Yelp reviewers.
这么多人都闲着蛋疼没事做 Oh, this many people have nothing better to do
天天写点评吗 than write reviews on Yelp?
应该是的吧 宝贝 要不要再来点柠檬汁 I guess so, honey. Do you need more lemonade?
妈妈 门口有几亿人啊 Mom, there's a billion people here.
感谢你们远道而来 Uh, thank you all for coming.
我叫埃里克 你们也知道 My name is Eric, and as you know,
我们点评网用户正受到质疑 us Yelpers are being scrutinized.
你不能大点声儿么 Can't you speak a little louder?!
我们点评网用户正受人质疑 Yes, us Yelp critics are being scrutinized!
-是的 -没错 -That's right! -Yeah!
问题是点评人泛滥 Now, you see the problem is that when there's too many reviewers,
人们不再知道谁才是真的美食评论家 people no longer know who is the real food critic.
你们想当评论家很好 It's great that you all want to be critics,
但我们都清楚这里谁才是真的专家 but we all know who the real food analyst of the town is.
太对了 That's right!
是啊 Yeah!
谢谢 Ha. Oh, thanks.
很好 只要确定了唯一的领袖 Okay, so, as long as there is one clear leader,
你们其他人就可以追随他 then the rest of you can just follow.
有这么多人追随一位领袖 And with this many people all following one captain,
我们就能重获力量 we can fight to get our power back!
重获力量 Poweeeer back!
崛起吧 替你们的领袖而战吧 So now rise up, and fight for your leader!
团结作战 Fight together,
告诉所有饭店我们的点评很重要 and show the restaurants that our food critic does matter!
冲啊 Yeah, let's go!
好了 跟随我 All right, follow me!
跟着我 大伙儿 This way, everyone!
吹口哨的威利匹萨 1986年建立
又一家当地餐厅在被点评用户袭击后 Another local business is closing its doors tonight .
新闻4频道
在今晚被迫停业 after being taken down by Yelp reviewers.
吹口哨的威利披萨谷这间儿童最爱餐厅被摧毁 Whistlin' Willy's, a child favorite in town, was destroyed
餐厅老板也被扒光并惨遭除首 and its owner stripped and beheaded.
请酌情观看接下来的视频 The following video is graphic.
不要 求你们了 不要 No, please. No no...
警告 点评网评论家出没
我们都爱吹口哨的威利 We all loved Whistlin' Willy's.
谁让点评网用户们不喜欢呢 It didn't do well with Yelpers.
你们这帮混蛋毁了最好的餐馆 You assholes destroyed the best place in town
就因为他们不肯跪舔你们 because they wouldn't kiss your asses!
得了吧 承认吧 那里吃的烂透了 Oh, come on, admit it. The food sucked.
没人是为了吃的去的 Nobody went for the fucking food!
我很抱歉 Look, I'm sorry guys,
但吹口哨的威利看不到我这样的人才 but Whistlin' Willy failed to recognize the influence
对他们产业的影响力 someone like me has on their business.
现在我只想问你一个问题 大卫 Now I just have one question for you, David.
你是骑着 Do you ride
你的小小脚踏车来上学吗 your teeny, tiny bicicleta to school?
是的 俺骑俺的小小脚踏车来上学 Sí. Me ride mi teeny bicicleta to school.
你完了 You're done.
可不是吗 Yeah, I'm done!
我现在可是成千上万人的领袖呢 I'm now the leader of thousands of people!
他们都指着我活呢 They all hang on my every word,
而且我要用我的权力给这小镇 and I'm gonna use my power to finally get
带来它真正需要的 what this town really needs.
我发现红龙虾的服务员态度很差 I found the waitstaff at Red Lobster to be rude
甚至不知道我是谁 and barely even acknowledging who I was
和我对这个城市的重要性 or what I meant to this city.
杰拉德 我带艾克去小丑学校 Gerald, I'm taking Ike to clown school.
你想一起去吗 You care to join us?
亲爱的 我不能 I can't, honey.
我现在身为数千人的领袖 I'm now the leader of thousands of people.
我的话对他们意义重大 They all hang on my every word.
而我要用我的权力 And I'm going to use my power
帮这个镇子得到它真正需要的 to finally get what this town really needs.
这已经是著名城中城 For the fifth day in a row,
连续第五天遭到点评网用户围攻了 historic Shi Tpa Town is under siege by Yelp reviewers.
餐厅们面对威胁仍毫不退缩 The restaurants are still refusing to be intimidated,
而点评员们... and the Yelp reviewers are...
而点评员们正准备发动全面战争 and the Yelp reviewers are preparing for all-out war.
下列影像资料均来自于恐怖组织伊斯兰国
愤怒的点评员们要求在本城所有餐厅 The angry Yelp reviewers are demanding special treatment
享受特殊待遇 at all city restaurants.
他们声称作为当地食评家 They claim that as local food critics,
他们应当受到尊重 反对者则该被惩罚 they deserve respect and that all who oppose them will suffer.
网络餐厅评论员们已经准备好 The online restaurant critics are getting ready
强迫餐厅们屈服 to bring businesses to their knees,
而部分餐厅已经被迫停业 and some are already closing their doors.
努埃瓦家庭餐厅 停止营业 感谢这美好的六天
一名当地餐厅员工甚至 One local restaurant worker actually called out
直接对呛点评网评论员领袖 the Yelp critics' leader!
你赢了 好了不起啊 I guess you win, huh, big shot?
如果你真的有那么重要 If you really are any kind of important anybody,
那就把你那食评家的肥屁股 then get your bullshit food-critic ass
挪到城南来见我 to the south of town and face me,
因为你们不算什么食评家 because you aren't a food critic,
也根本不重要 and you aren't important!
如果你不是懦夫 就来城南见我 And unless you're chicken, I'll see you south of town.
您要去哪儿 长官 Where you going, sir?
你听到他的话了 You heard him.
那个墨西哥小屁孩在挑衅我 Little Mexican kid called me out.
他想跟我干一架 没问题 He wants to fight me, that's fine.
您需要支援吗 长官 You need backup, sir?
不 他找的只有我 No. He's just calling me out.
上帝保佑您 长官 God bless you, sir --
我知道 I know!
大维 兄弟 等等 David! Dude, wait!
哥们 你别这样 Dude, you don't wanna do this.
你不知道卡特曼有多凶残 You don't know what Cartman's capable of.
在我的家乡 人们用拳头说话 Where I come from, we settle things with our fists.
可这里不是墨西哥 But this isn't Mexico.
我不是墨西哥来的 大哥 I'm not from Mexico, dude!
我混爱达荷州的 I'm from Idaho!
要让这混蛋见识博伊西[爱荷华首府]的厉害 I'm gonna show this prick how we do things in Boise.
你好 大卫 Oh, hello, David!
好吧 你的军队准备好了 All right, you've got your army.
你有这么多追随者 You've got your followers.
如果你真是一名伟大的领袖 If you're such a great leader,
那就告诉这座城市你要什么 死肥佬 then just tell the city what you want, fat ass!
别说我胖 孩子 Don't call me fat, son.
我这么做是因为他们... I'm doing this because they've --
我只希望能够带领这些优秀的人 What I want is to be able to lead these fine people
得到尊重 with the respect and the dignity --
我没想过要当领袖 我是被推选的 I didn't ask to be the leader. I was appointed!
我对这个镇子至关重要 You see, I'm extremely important to this town,
而我绝不会... and I'm not going to be --
我品评这个镇子食物的旅程... My journey as this town's food --
你让这些人感觉不再被需要 You've made these people feel unwanted,
所以他们向我寻求答案 and now they look to me for answers.
我站在这里 脆弱 恐惧 Now here I stand, vulnerable, afraid,
却愿意为了这些人... and yet willing to do what the people of this --
所以你们去死吧 And so we said to hell with it!
我们要直面挑战 从本镇的食评家 And we took the challenge to go from the town's food critics
走向本镇的精神领袖 to the town's spiritual leaders.
我们想要什么 What do we want?
人们会说 你们不过是写美食博客的人 People would say, "Oh, you're just a food blogger.
不过是人海中一个微弱的声音 You're just a tiny voice in the crowd."
但现在人们能听到我的声音 我将 Well, now my voice is heard, and I will --
要求得到特权 Wanted special privileges,
这些人认为我应当有特权 but these people think I should have them.
是吧 各位 Right, guys?
也许我不值得特殊对待 Maybe I don't deserve special treatment,
可是不这样我怎么担任他们想要的精英食评家 but how else can I be the elite food critic they want?
所有人都以为我们找的是他们 Every person here thinks this is about them.
我想我知道该怎么做了 I think I know what to do.
我也知道了 Yeah. Me, too.
为感谢您对这个社区做出的贡献 And for all your service to this community,
我们想终生任命您为 we want to once and for all declare you
最专业美食评论家 our most elite food critic.
为显殊誉 我们将授予您金色徽章 To distinguish you, we present to you the golden badge.
佩此徽章 您将享受到 Wearing this badge means you will always get
所有您应得的特殊待遇 the special treatment that you deserve.
谢谢市长 Thank you, Mayor.
我深知此责任虽重 但我仍接受此荣耀 It's a big responsibility, but I suppose I have to accept.
我会竭尽所能为这个小镇效力 I will do my best to serve this town.
我们相信您能做到 We know you will.
好了 下一位请进 Okay, bring in the next one.
戴维斯先生 您已彰显您的领导风范 Mr. Davis, you have proven yourself a leader.
为感谢您对这个社区做出的贡献 and for all your service to this community,
我们想终生任命您为 we want to once and for all declare you
最专业美食评论家 our most elite food critic.
为显殊誉 我们将授予您金色徽章 To distinguish you, we present the golden badge.
佩此徽章 您将享受到 Wearing this badge means you will always get
所有您应得的特殊待遇 the special treatment you deserve.
好了 我们已经让所有餐厅 All right, we got all the restaurants
都同意让点评员进入用餐 to agree to let the Yelpers in
并让他们享受特殊待遇 and to make them feel special.
儿子 你是怎么做到的 How did you do it, son?
对 点一份牛排 Ah, yes. The steak, please.
我可是专业点评员 I'm the, uh, Yelp elite.
来了位点评员 给他特殊待遇吧 All right, we got a Yelper. Give it that special attention.
包在我身上 You got it!
*您是点评网尊贵用户* *So you're one of Yelper's special blessed*
*就应该尊享最佳待遇* *You demand a restaurant's very best*
*他们就给您特殊待遇* *Well, they're gonna treat you special*
*听好了 朋友* *I'm telling you, chum*
*准备好享用鼻屎和精液吧* *Now get yourself ready for some boogers and cum*
*鼻屎和精液* *Boogers and cum*
*点评员专属美味* *That's called a Yelper special*
*鼻屎和精液* *Boogers and cum*
*卷饼上加的什么* *Say, what's that on your pretzel*
*你在网上的点评还算有用* *Your online critiques are real useful to some*
*快快来享用鼻屎和精液吧* *Now have a good time eating boogers and cum*
*鼻屎和精液* *Boogers and cum*
*有人在你的沙拉上放臭屁* *Someone farted on your salad*
*鼻屎和精液* *Boogers and cum*
*可你的装修评论说得挺对* *But your decor critiques are valid*
*你自以为特殊 好似独一无二* *You think you're special, like you're a number one*
*那就给你特殊待遇 多加鼻屎和精液* *Well, there's a whole lot of special in boogers and cum*
*鼻屎和精液* *Boogers and cum*
*比目鱼上加点屎味道怎样* *How about some feces with your flounder*
*鼻屎和精液* *Boogers and cum*
*屌腥味厚芝士汉堡好吃吗* *You like that queefy quarter-pounder*
这加了什么香料 味道很刺激 What's that spice that feels tangy on my tongue?
加的是柚子胡椒 Oh, that's a yuzu pepper...
还加了点鼻屎和精液 along with some boogers and cum.
您点的 先生 Here you are, sir.
谢谢你 大卫 服务很周到 Thank you, David. That's good service.
朋友 我每天都会给您送食物的 I will bring you food every day, my friend.
加的是墨西哥辣椒奶油沙司吗 Hmm, is that a jalape?o cream sauce?
对 我爸爸给您加的专属用酱 Yes. My father made it just for you.
味道挺冲 但也够味 Hmm. It's tart, but savory.
*鼻屎和精液* *Boogers and cum*
*当一名美食评论家很容易* *Bein' a food critic's easy*
*鼻屎和精液* *Boogers and cum*
*你感觉有点反胃想吐了吗* *Oh, you feel a little queasy*
*想知道怎么回事吗 让医生告诉你* *Do you need a diagnosis? Well, the doctor's got one*
*你的胃里好像全是鼻屎和精液* *Your stomach seems to be filled with boogers and cum*
*鼻屎和精液* *Boogers and cum*
*往你点的土豆泥里尿点尿* *Piss in your potatoes*
*鼻屎和精液* *Boogers and cum*
*往你点的西红柿上拉点屎* *Some guy shit on your tomatoes*
*牛逼的美食评论家 算你们赢了* *All right, fancy food critic, looks like you've won*
*快快来享用* *Now please enjoy all the*
*鼻 屎* *Bo-o-o-o-gers*
*和 精 液* *and cuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuum*
*鼻屎和精液* *Boogers and cum*