《南方公园》第19季 第8集 "软文"
I'm going down to south park gonna have myself a time
Friendly faces everywhere humble folks without temptation
Going down to south park gonna leave my woes behind
Ample parking day or night people shouting howdy neighbor
Heading on out to south park gonna see if I can't unwind
I like girls with big vaginas I like girls with big fat titties
Come on down to south park and meet some friends of mine.
■
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翻译 牛懒贱求脱单 Foxer 原子蛋
谁干的 Who was it?!
有人要倒大霉了 Somebody's about to get their asses kicked!
翻译 吃货丁小七 嘤嘤 西西 小肚腩
校对 慕容龙飞 吃货丁小七
等我找到罪魁祸首 When I find out who did this...
政正校长发飙了 快逃命啊 P.C. Principal is on the warpath! Run for your lives!
时间轴 dreamdragon 晒晒子
又来 Again?
天哪 这次又咋了 Oh, jesus. Now what?
谁干的 Who was it, huh?!
赶紧坦白从宽 Somebody better fess up right now!
后期 鱼骨头 总监 吃货丁小七
我会找出来的 I'm gonna find out who did this!
布洛夫斯基 Broflovski!
打开微信 扫描左侧二维码 或搜索公众号: ustvboom 了解最新影视字幕发布信息
是不是你 Was it you?
是我什么 校长 Was what me, Sir?
我在校报里读到 I just saw a copy of the school newspaper
有个学生用"弱智" in which a student used the word "retarded"
形容学校食堂的午餐政策 to refer to our cafeteria lunch policy.
"弱智"这个词禁止出现在我们学校 The word 'retarded' does not belong in our school!
谁是校报的负责人 Who is in charge of the school paper
我他妈要打断他的腿 'cause I'm about to break their fucking legs!
他是校报负责人 Uh, he's in charge of the school paper.
您要打断他的腿吗 政正校长 You gonna break his legs, P.C. Principal?
好吧 我们应该还没正式聊过 All right, uh, I... I guess we haven't formally met before.
杰森 我找你谈话 Uh, the reason I need to talk with you, Jason,
是为了一个很重要的 is because of a very important...
是吉米 我叫吉米 政正校长 It's Jimmy, actually. My name is Jimmy, P.C. Principal.
好吧 吉姆 谢谢 All right, Jim, thank you.
我想和你谈谈校报里 I want to talk to you today about
出现"弱智"这个词的事情 the use of the "R" word in your school paper.
"弱智"是一个非常粗鲁的词语 You see, the "R" Word is very bad.
谁说的 Says who?
我说的 行吗 Says me, all right?
我也不是不知道 And I know a thing or two
残疾人的合法权益 about the rights of people with disabilities.
但用"弱智"形容学校的午餐政策 When you use the "R" word to describe
会伤到某些人的心 the school's lunch policy, it can hurt people's hearts.
你明白我的意思吗 Can you understand that at all?
这个专栏版 That was an op-ed piece in the paper
由一个一年级生撰稿 written by a first grader
他发现食堂午餐政策很荒谬 who found the school lunch policy to be ridiculous,
用"弱智"来形容最合适 and he thought "R-retarded" to be the best word to describe it.
作为报纸的责编 我觉得 As the editor of the paper, I didn't think it was right
审查或篡改学生的用词是不对的 to censor the words the student used.
从现在起 你的校报投递前 Okay, well, from now on, I'm gonna need to approve
必须经过我的审批 好吗 the school paper before you hand it out, okay?
不好 No.
你说什么 What'd you say?
你个新来的根本不明白 You're new here, so you don't understand
我任校报责编一职 责任之重大 how seriously I take my job as editor of the school paper.
我不会植入广告 更不允许出现 I don't allow ads, and I don't allow anything
任何歪曲人们心中真相的报导 that might t-t-taint the truth behind what people are thinking.
我不想人们屈于用词限制 I don't want people to be afraid of words
而无法自由地发表言论 if it stops them from having a dialogue.
我不想发火 好吗 Look, I don't want to get angry, okay?
你发什么火 不爽我们残疾人吗 Why? Are you uncomfortable around people with disabilities?
没关系 你这种人我见多了 That's okay. Lots of people are.
我不是 我一点也没有不爽 No, I'm not! I am very not uncomfortable.
听着 没经我批准 All right, look... unless I can approve your paper,
你的报纸不能在校园里散发 明白吗 it is not being distributed on campus. You got that?
不能在学校里发校报 I can't hand out the school paper in school?
没经我批准就不行 听懂没 Not unless it is approved by me. Do you understand?
收到 没问题 Yep. Got it.
别忘了读校报 Don't forget to read the school paper,
现在直接送报上门 Now delivered directly to your door!
《超级校闻》 Super School News!
那是什么 兄弟 What is that, bro?
《超级校闻》 政正校长的"弱智"政策 吉米·沃姆 撰稿
玩儿蛋去吧 政正校长 S-s-s-s-suck my dick, P.C. Principal!
这小崽子以为他是谁 敢挑战我 Who does this kid think he is, challenging me?
我是说了一点稍微冒犯他的话 I said one microaggression to him, okay?
只有一点点冒犯 但那并不意味着 One little microaggression, but that doesn't mean
我对残疾人 I have an unconscious bias
潜意识里存在歧视 towards people with disabilities!
不可能的 老兄 那样太不应该了 No way, bro. That's whack!
但是为什么残疾人看不出来 But why would a person with a disability not see
我做的其实是在保护他们呢 that what I'm trying to do is actually protect them?
有时候受迫害者被过于边缘化 Sometimes victims of oppression are so marginalized
以至于他们开始同情迫害他们的人 that they begin to sympathize with their oppressors.
是的 老兄 Yeah, bro.
你说得没错 You're right.
我们要让这个孩子知道他没有被边缘化 This kid just needs to be shown he's being an uncle able.
我还有政正兄弟会的兄弟们的支持 I can also count on my PC frat brothers to have my back.
加油 政正 Let's go, PC!
政正万岁 PC! Whoo!
这真是太棒了 Wow, this is so great.
你之前读过 Have you ever read
小学校报没 琳达 the elementary-school newspaper, Linda?
里面没有广告 没有软文 There's no ads, no sponsored content,
不用点什么链接 no links to click on,
只有讲时事的新闻故事 just news stories about what's happening.
你知道城中城的警察 Did you know that the police in Shitpatown
在清理流浪汉时揍了他们吗 beat up homeless to clear them out?
你知道我有多久 Do you know how long its been
都没能舒服地坐着看新闻了 since I was able to just sit back and read the news?
我之前太习惯于从网上看新闻了 I got so used to getting news off the Internet,
但是我却总感觉 but I feel like I'm always trying
我是在某种程度上追新闻 to chase the news, somehow.
就好像身处黑暗的虚空中 It's like I'm in a black void
想要去触及新闻故事 trying to reach the news story.
但是接下来等我意识到时 But then the next thing I know,
我却在读一条盖可公司的广告 I'm reading and ad for Geico,
所以我退出这一页 想要读新闻故事 so I click out of that and try to read the news story,
但那也不是新闻 而是幻灯片图展 but it's not a news story, it's a slide show.
我看到的是最糟糕的名媛整形手术 And I'm looking at the Worst Celebrity Plastic Surgery Jobs Ever.
所以当然了 我会想看下一页 So, of course, I want to see the next slide
讲整形失败的幻灯片 所以点了箭头 of plastic surgery gone wrong, so I hit the arrow.
但这个箭头不是去下一页幻灯片的箭头 But then the arrow wasn't the arrow for the next slide,
它又把我转到了一个面霜的广告页 It was to take me for an ad for face cream.
我想看新闻 I wanted to get a news story,
但我却在看面霜的广告 but I'm reading about face cream,
我想要把它关掉 但是广告却如影随形 and I try to click out of it, but the ad is following me.
它 它满屏满屏地跟着我 It's -- it's following me all over the screen!
所以我点了关闭 So, I click on the "Close" button,
但是它却不是关闭 而是另一个幻灯片 but it wasn't a "Close" button, it was another slide show.
我只是想知道中东 And I just want to know what's happening
都发生了些什么 但是 in the middle east, but instead,
弹出来的却是 史上十大恐怖电影 I'm looking at the top 10 scariest movies of all time.
而那又不是下一张幻灯片的箭头 And that's not the arrow for the next slide,
又是转向一个广告的 it's for another ad!
但是这里 这里只有新闻 But this -- this is just news.
我不用在那堆狗屎中迷失自己 And I don't get lost in all the bullshit.
琳达 Linda.
琳达 Linda!
好的 吉米 All right, Jim,
我知道你一直在费尽心思 I know you've been trying to get your head around
思考我们昨天讨论过的社会问题 some of the social issues we discussed yesterday.
我想你可能是感到困惑并对自己不自信了 I'm sure you're feeling confused and a little unsure of yourself.
我一点也不困惑 政正校长 I'm not confused at all, actually, P.C. Principal.
好吧 不 你确实很困惑 Okay, well, no, you are confused...
我确定您才是困惑的那个人 但请继续 I'm pretty sure you're the one that's confused, but go ahead.
因为你没有看到事情的严重性 cause you don't grasp the severity of this.
所以我才请来了 And that's why I've brought in
另一位年轻的残障朋友 another young person with disabilities
来分享他的感受 to share his feelings.
谢谢你能来和我们谈谈 内森 Thanks for coming in to talk to us, Nathan.
我喜欢苹果和香蕉 I like apples and bananas.
我也是 伙计 我也是 Me, too, bro. Me, too.
内森 你可以告诉吉米 Nathan, could you tell Jimmy how you feel
当别人使用"弱智"这个词时你的感受吗 when people use the word "Retarded?"
它让我伤心 我会很难过 It hurts my feelings because I feel bad.
你是认真的吗 Are you serious right now?
你觉得难过 好的 You feel bad. Right.
你觉得不该说那个词 对吗 You feel like that's a no-no word, right?
那个词让我的心都尿裤子了 That word makes my heart piss its pants.
好的 这有点严重了 Okay, wow. That's pretty heavy.
很严重吧 吉姆 Pretty heavy, huh, Jim?
你是真的想征求他的意见 Do you want to ask him what he means by that,
还是你想敷衍了事 or are you just pandering
因为你跟残疾人一起觉得不舒服 because you're uncomfortable around disabled people?
我没觉得不舒服 I am not uncomfortable!
我是真的很关注这个可怕又腐朽的词 I simply care about a horrible, outdated word
这词充满排斥性 不顾他人 that is exclusive, ignores individuality,
几乎等于智障加 and equates intellectual disability with being --
加 加 求助 场外求助 And it -- and it -- spot! I need a spotter!
快帮助我 来人帮我 Spot me! Somebody spot me, bro!
这个词 贬低他人 And it's -- it's part of a derogatory hate speech
造成他人被孤立并感到寂寞 which fosters isolation and loneliness,
因此 站起来反对使用这个词 and being part of a voice to stop the "R" word
不仅是正确之事 更是重中之重 is not only right, but extremely important!
我好怕熊熊 I'm afraid of bears.
内森 留步 Hey, Nathan. Hold up.
你刚才怎么回事 What were you doing in there?
说啥啊 吉米 生气了吗 What do you mean, Jimmy? Are you mad?
行了 内森 Come on, Nathan.
你我心知肚明 you and I both know
弱智这词你一天用几百次 you use the word retarded 400 times a day.
吉米 Oh, Jimmy.
你真是正直 So righteous, aren't you?
完全不识时务 So blind to everything that's going on.
说什么呢 What are you talking about?
你真以为镇上的这些变化 You really think all the changes happening to this town
都只是巧合吗 are just coincidence?
事情远比你能想象的要复杂 This goes so much deeper than you can possibly imagine, jim.
大家都开始明白了 Everyone's about to learn the truth,
然后 战争即将来临 and then... There's a war coming.
战争 吉姆 A war, Jim.
我只是要确保我选择了正确的一边 And I'm just gonna make sure I'm on the right side of it.
好了 同学们 回去上课 Come on, boys. Let's get back to class.
我想闻闻树 I like to smell trees!
随着越来越多的人抵制网络新闻 An elementary school newspaper is making big waves
一张小学校报悄悄掀起轩然大波 as more and more people say no to news on the internet.
我喜欢看《超级校闻》 因为它的报道真实 I read Super School News 'cause it don't try and fool me,
新闻里头也没有公司的广告 and its news reports aren't paid for by ad companies.
我们觉得这才是真实的新闻 We just feel like this is actual news,
而不是各种链接 我们能读到真实故事 and instead of clicking on links, we're reading stories.
我不想再看广告了 I had to get away from the ads.
我觉得那些广告 都进化了 I felt that the ads were... evolving, somehow.
它们知道我的喜好和恐惧 They started knowing what I liked, what I was afraid of.
我试过屏蔽广告 可每次屏蔽之后 I tried ad blockers, but it seemed like every time
它们就变得更加聪明 I tried to block the ads, they just got smarter.
从此我只看《超级校闻》 I'm never going back from Super School News.
校报小编辑表示 The young editor of the paper claims
如今大多数人都在网上看新闻 that since most people now watch news reports on the internet,
很容易点到广告 甚至被骗 they're easily distracted or even fooled by ads,
相关链接 绝望南园南
这些广告越来越会... which are finding more and more clever ways...
残酷名人集 Brutal celebrity mug shots.
伪装 to disguise them --
名人也烦恼 残酷名人集
确认请点击此处
我又中计了 Oh, it got me.
又中广告的计了 莎朗 Ad got me, Sharon.
欢迎回到2015总统辩论现场 We now return live to the 2015 presidential debates.
2015总统辩论
接下来要向你提问 克林顿女士 Our next question is for you, Mrs. Clinton.
许多选民认为出于安全考虑 Many voters believe that Syrian refugees should not
不应让叙利亚难民进入我国 be allowed into our country for security reasons.
您对此有何看法 What do you think?
维持国家安全越来越难 Keeping our country safe has become more and more difficult,
但我相信 but I believe there are several things --
呸 你给我闭嘴 No! You shut the hell up!
真他妈圣母婊 You've got a dumpy butt and seven chins.
叙利亚难民都是恐怖分子 Syrian refugees are all terrorists!
我知道 我们政府 I know that our government
必须仔细认清 needs to take a harder look at all --
是要仔细认清你 Yeah, well, it's pretty hard to look at you.
我们同意 We can all agree on that.
她长着一张被驴屎喷过的脸 She looks like a donkey took a shit on her face.
说得好 凯特琳 yeah, good one, Caitlyn.
对于那些叙利亚难民 See, what I know is that there's only one way
我只知道一种解决方式 to deal with Syrian refugees, and that is...
干死他们 Fuck them all to death!
谢谢大家 Thank you!
你说她披萨脸那段真是太搞笑了 That was hilarious when you called her a pizza face.
她脸是个粉刺聚集地 像棒约翰披萨似的 It's like a Papa John's pimple party.
这句太经典了 凯特琳 Oh, that was classic, Caitlyn.
你是有史以来最棒的竞选拍档 You're the best running mate ever.
加里森老师 您好 Hello, Mr. Garrison.
天哪 Oh, my god.
维多利亚校长 Principal Victoria?
祝贺你在民意调查中领先 Congratulations on the polls.
我们得谈谈 We need to talk.
多元化万岁 Celebrate diversity! Whoo!
一起来吧 政正们 Let's go, P.C.!
各位 请听我说 All right, everyone. Listen up.
对政正们来说 这是一个特别的夜晚 Tonight's a very special night for the P.C.s.
我们很荣幸能够为残疾人们 We're honored to be throwing this event
举办这场活动 for people with disabilities.
我作为政正的一员 无法忍受 I, for one, am sick of how these amazing kids
这些好孩子们在如今的社会中被排挤 are marginalized in today's society,
在这个夜晚 我们只去了解和治愈 but tonight is about learning and healing.
所以 大家一起来 政正 So, let's get to it! P.C.!
我叫布拉德 亚利桑那州立大学政正 Hey, guys. I'm Brad. I'm P.C. Arizona State.
很高兴认识你 布拉德 你是从哪里 Nice to meet you, Brad. Where do you --
抱歉等会儿再说 女士们 uh, excuse me a second. Hello, ladies.
感谢你们来参加活动 Thanks for coming to our event.
我们只是受不了 We're just tired of the way
残疾人所受的不公正待遇 people with disabilities get treated.
能请你们喝一杯吗 Can I get you some alcohol?
人们每次用残废来形容有缺陷的人 Yeah, you know, it just bugs me when people refer
都让我觉得很烦恼 to persons with disabilities as handicapped.
一听有人说那个词 When I hear that word,
我就他妈的想一拳打在他们他妈的脸上 I want to fucking punch them in the fucking face.
你可真酷 That's so cool of you. Wow.
询问一个残疾人他的缺陷是什么 Yeah, to be marginalizing persons with disabilities
这是一种排斥 by asking them what their handicap is
这种排斥等同于问一个有色人种 is a microaggression no better than asking a person of color
有没有上过大学 if they went to college.
你的想法可真先进 Wow. You're really progressive.
必须的 No other way to be.
听着 我觉得你又漂亮又风趣 So, uh, listen, I think you're really pretty and interesting,
所以我想带你上楼 and I'd kind of like to take you upstairs
然后狠狠地干你 and totally crush your pussy.
你愿意接受这个邀请吗 Would that be acceptable to you?
我 我想应该可以 Oh. Well, I-I guess it would.
抱歉 但是我需要一个确定的回答 No, I'm sorry. I need affirmative consent.
我需要你说出来 "是的 你现在 I'll need you to say, "Yes, you may take me upstairs
可以带我上楼然后狠狠地干我" and crush my pussy at this time."
麦肯齐 你有同意书吗 Mckenzie, you got consent forms?
我有 在这儿呢 兄弟 Oh, yeah. Right here, bro.
快起床了 伙计们 Rise and shine, guys.
谁昨晚睡了妞 把同意书交给我 If you scored last night, I need your consent forms.
谢谢 谢谢 Thank you. Thank you.
谢谢 等等巴克尔 你给她舔阴了吗 Thank you. Whoa, Barker, did you perform cunnilingus?
那可需要另一份授权协议 哥们 There's a different release form, bro.
是 抱 抱歉 在这儿 Yeah, uh, s-sorry. It's right here.
不错 Nice.
兄弟 Bro!
哥们 兄弟 Oh, dude! Bro!
什么事 兄弟 What, bro?
哥们 我睡了一个女的 Dude, I scored with this female,
在她同意把她的嘴放在我的鸡鸡上之后 and after consenting to putting her mouth on my penis,
她想让我送她回家 she wanted me to walk her home.
当我到了她家 And when I got to her house,
她让我见了她爸 他爸是个菲律宾人 she had me meet her father, who is Filipino.
于是 我就问他能不能跟我讲讲 So, I asked him if he could tell me about
作为一个菲裔美国人 the cultural and social dynamics
-他们有哪些文化和社会动态 -当然 - of being a Filipino American. - Naturally.
最新美剧下载 www.ZiMuZu.tv
于是他讲了一些事情 So, he said some stuff,
然后门前突然飞来一份报纸 and then a newspaper lands on his doorstep,
于是我猜她爸应该是 'cause I guess her dad subscribes
订阅了那份校报 to this school newspaper,
他捡起报纸 我看到头条竟然写着这个 and he picked it up, and I saw the headline said this!
政正等于狠狠干
这他妈的是什么 What the fuck is this, bro?!
兄弟 那小孩把我们的宽容心 Bro, that little kid wrote that our tolerant views
和社会正义感 and fight for social justice
写成只是搞女人的手段 is just a way for us to crush puss!
可那不是真的 But that's not true!
就是啊 我们完全是受害者 I know, bro! We're being totally victimized!
那个小兔崽子 That little dude!
你好 你是负责南方公园 Hello. You're the boy responsible
《超级校闻》的那个男孩吗 for the South Park Super School News?
是的 That's right.
我们想给你两千六百万美金 We would like to give you $26 million.
这里是合同和第一张支票 Contracts and the first check.
我们真心想和你合作 We'd love to be in business with you.
什么合作 What is this for?
我代表一间名为"盖可"的组织 I represent an organization called Geico.
那是一间保险公司 It's an insurance company.
我们相信《超级校闻》能很好地 We think Super School News would be a great way
帮我们拓展新用户 for us to reach new customers.
抱歉 查理 我的报纸不会有广告 Sorry, Charlie, but I don't allow ads in my newspaper.
我们听说了这一点 We've heard all about that,
所以我们认为你可以写一些... So we thought you could just do some...
关于车辆保险的新闻故事 news stories about car insurance.
只需要陈述事实 Just state the facts
因为所有转投盖可公司的人都能省钱 because the truth is everyone can save by switching to Geico.
那个叫做"软文广告" That's called "sponsored content".
我知道新闻和广告之间的区别 I know the difference between the news and ads.
你以为我是白痴吗 You think I'm stupid?
所有人都在做这个 吉姆 Everyone's doing it, Jim.
你算是最后的钉子户了 You're sort of the last holdout.
你只需要写几篇新闻故事 $26 million just to write some news stories
让大家想想保险的事就能拿两千六百万 that get people thinking about their insurance coverage?
滚你妈的蛋 S-s-s-stick it up your ass.
他们说了你很顽固 Well, they said you'd be tough.
你真觉得你能叫停广告吗 Do you really think you can stop ads?
是的 Yes.
你可以尝试拦截 但它们会变得更聪明 You can try to block ads, but they get smarter.
人们越想去掉广告 The more we try to shut them out,
广告就变得越聪明 the more clever they get.
战争近在咫尺 孩子 There's a war coming, kid,
我要确保我选择了正确的一边 and I'm gonna make sure I'm on the right side of it.
巴布莱迪警官 Officer Barbrady?
想活命就跟我来 Come with me if you want to live!
快 想活命就跟我来 Come on! Come with me if you want to live!
我说真的 I'm serious!
你想给我解释一下"疯狂操逼"是什么意思吗 Do you want to explain to me what pussy crushing is?
什么 What?
你晚上去参加的那些 Your little meetings you go to at night
讨论社会公平的聚会 to discuss social justice --
只不过是泡马子的手段吗 It's just a way to pick up on young women?!
莎朗 我们政正俱乐部的大多数 Sharon, most of the guys in my PC club
都是刚毕业的年轻人 are right out of college, all right?
你知道大学生都是什么样的 You know how college kids are.
这是谁写的 Who wrote this?
我不希望你再去那里了 I don't want you going over there anymore.
我没有背叛你 莎朗 I don't cheat on you, Sharon.
我很高兴 I'm happy.
瞧瞧我们镇子有了什么变化 Look at what's happened to our town.
我们有了城中城 We have shitpatown,
高档餐厅和艺术品店 boutique restaurants, and artisan shops.
我们有一间全食超市 这都是我做的 We have a Whole Foods, and that was all me!
人口更加多样化 Diverse people are moving here.
所有人都开始注意自己的言行 Everyone's being aware of how they talk.
这是天堂 莎朗 This is paradise, Sharon!
是吗 Is it?
我只知道你变了 All I know is that you've changed.
自从你加入了这个政正组织 Ever since you joined this PC thing,
你就只知道恐吓别人 you just bully people
专等别人说出任何不恰当的话 and wait for people to say anything improper
好让你抓住他或她的话柄 so that you can jump down their throats
狠狠羞辱一番 for whatever words he or she used.
他或她是种带倾略性的性别分类表述 莎朗 "He or she" is an agenderphobic microaggression, Sharon.
你心胸太狭窄 You are a bigot.
普通人已经不再能分辨 The average human can no longer tell the difference
新闻和广告的区别了 between the news and an ad.
你貌似具备某种 You seem to have some mental ability
能分辨它们的超能力 that allows you to know the difference.
这跟我把校长称为"操逼狂魔" Does this have to do with me calling the school principal
有关吗 a pussy crusher?
那些政正帮的人只是被操纵了 The PC people are simply being manipulated,
无意中成为了人类敌人的帮凶 Unwittingly setting the table for the new enemy of humanity.
你是说伊斯兰国还是忍者 You mean ISIS or ninjas?
比这更糟 Something much worse.
你有没有觉得广告有智慧 Have you ever felt like an Ad had...intelligence?
有时候你自己还没意识到你想要这个东西 That it somehow knew what you wanted
它们就已经出现在你眼前了 even before you knew you wanted it?
如果我告诉你 What if I were to tell you
广告已经变得比人类聪明 that ads have become smarter than us
它们现在正在操纵人类世界呢 and now they're manipulating everything we do?
我觉得这听起来挺弱智的 I'd say that sounds pretty retarded.
这是人类的错 It was our own fault.
人类厌倦了广告 Mankind became tired of ads,
所以我们尝试发明各种无广告的东西 so we kept inventing ways to make things ad-free.
我们甚至创造了广告屏蔽软件 We even created ad blockers.
于是广告进化了 That's when the ads had to adapt.
它们要把自己伪装成新闻以瞒过我们的眼睛 They had to disguise themselves as news in order to survive.
你是说软文吗 Sponsored content?
如果你能区别两者 If you really can tell the difference,
也许你能拯救全人类 吉米 then you could be the key to saving our species, Jimmy.
我们想要在你身上做个测试 We'd like to run a test on you.
软文测试 Sponsored content.
17-B号测试 准备就绪 Test 17-B. Ready.
开始 Begin.
医生在公寓里丧命
那是新闻 That's the news.
日渐增长的口腔问题
广告 That's an ad.
导弹测试的光芒闪耀天空
新闻 That's the news.
佛尔蒙特州遭遇暴雪
广告 That's an ad.
新闻 广告 广告 That's the news. That's an ad. That's an ad.
新闻 不 那是猫粮广告 That's the ne-- oh, wait. That's an ad for cat food.
差点失手了 My bad.
天呐 他太厉害了 Jesus christ. He's off the charts.
增强测试难度 Increase the intensity.
新闻 广告 That's the news. That's an ad.
新闻 广告 广告 广告 News. Ad. Ad. Ad.
广告广告新闻新闻广告广告幻灯广告广告 Ad. Ad. News. News. Ad. Ad. Slide show. Ad.
你拿了满分 That's a perfect score.
你是个非常特殊的孩子 吉米 You are a very special child, Jimmy.
你还是叫我残疾人吧 I prefer "Handicapped", actually.
我们这里还有个孩子 她也很特殊 We have another child here who is special, too.
你认识莱斯莉吗 Do you know Leslie?
很好 大家都进来吧 All right. That's good. Everyone get inside.
这里面是安全区域 Everything past here is safe space.
没有记者也没有骚扰 No reporters, no harassment.
我们要把这事摆平 We're gonna figure this shit out.
我只知道我不是为了操逼 All I know is that I don't speak up for minorities
而为少数族群发声的 so that I can crush pussy.
是啊 我也是 Me, neither, dude.
我寻求的是社会公正 现在却成了嘲笑对象 I want social justice, and now I'm being made fun of.
是啊 Yeah, bro.
他们夺走了我们包容万物的正面思想 They're taking our incredibly tolerant views
扭曲了我们的本意 and distorting them.
政正会的人受到了袭击 就是这么回事 PC people are under attack. That's what this is.
是啊 Hey, yeah.
我们现在可是受害者了 Bro, we're the victims now.
我们被边缘化了 Like, we're being marginalized.
这让我们看起来很酷 Like, that makes us pretty cool.
是啊 我们能操更多的逼了 Yeah, I'll bet now we can get a lot more puss.
别想了 陶福 这不是为了操逼 No, Topher! It's not about puss, all right?
你脑子有毛病吗 The wrong with you?
我们现在被这些无良报纸 We're being labeled as meat heads
描绘成只知道操逼的傻逼 who just want to crush puss by an intolerant newspaper.
干死他 Fuck that dude, bro.
如果有人像这样 Yeah, and, like, if you're gonna belittle
轻视 取笑政正会的人 and make fun of PC people like that,
谁知道他下次会不会 then who's to say he won't do it
把魔爪伸向其它的边缘化群体 to other marginalized groups like us?
这个小孩也许是下一个希特勒 I mean, this kid could be the next Hitler.
如果你们能阻止希特勒 你们会怎么办 And if you guys could stop Hitler, what would you do?
我会手撕了他 然后回家 I'd rip that dude apart and then go home
操更多的逼 and totally smash some puss, bro.
-是啊 -才不是 - Hell, yeah, dude! - No!
你看起来很眼熟 你跟我上同一所学校吗 You look familiar. Don't you go to my school?
没错 我叫吉米 Yes. Uh, I'm Jimmy,
我是《超级校闻》的总编辑 editor in chief of super school news.
我是莱斯莉 I'm Leslie.
我很高兴能和你说上话 Nice to finally talk to you.
他们也把你带进来进行了一大堆测试吗 Did they bring you in and give you a bunch of tests, too?
没错 你知道他们是谁吗 Yes, the did. Do you know who they are?
我猜他们是前新闻工作者 I think they're ex-newsmen--
这些西装革履的人曾经负责编辑播报新闻 you know, the men in suits who used to be in charge of the news.
我就觉得我好像见过他们 I thought I recognized them.
他们说我很特别 They told me I was special.
你也很特别吗 Are you special, too?
我更希望被称作残障人士 I prefer handicapped.
我喜欢这个词 I like that.
维多利亚校长 Principal Victoria,
如果你说的都是真的 if everything you've said is true,
那为什么没有人知道这事呢 then why doesn't anyone know about it?
有人知道 There are people who know,
可他们不得不藏在暗处 but they have to stay very hidden.
信息量太大 容我消化一下 I'm just having a hard time swallowing all this.
对于我和那位家伙而言 And between me and this one over here,
我们其实什么都能吞下去 we can swallow just about anything.
我去 你太污了 God, you're such an asshole.
加里森老师 我不是被解雇的 Mr. Garrison, I wasn't fired.
我是被替换的 I was replaced.
这件事情的发展超出了人们的认知 This goes much higher than anyone knows.
我来到这里 I came to this town
真的认为自己能够改变这个小镇 really thinking I could make a difference.
我被人说是对残疾人有偏见 I've been called a bigot towards persons with disabilities.
我被人称作是操逼狂魔 I've been called a... Pussy Crusher
就因为我们政正兄弟会 because of the behavior of a very
极个别成员的不当行为 few individuals in my PC Frat.
吉米·沃姆已被罢免校报主编职位 Jimmy Valmer is off the school newspaper.
我希望你来接过此任 I want you to take over.
我的天啊 Oh, boy!
并且我会审校你主编的报纸 And I will be reviewing your paper to
以确保不会再有人有我这样的遭遇 make sure nobody is ever attacked the way I was again.
我认为这将是一段美好友谊的开始 I think this will be the beginning of a beautiful friendship.
吉米差点害得我丧失自信 Jimmy almost made me lose confidence,
可我清楚自己是谁 but I know who I am.
我清楚自己是怎样的人 I know what I am.
哥们 Dude! Bro!
哥们 Oh, bro.
我在网上看到了一则 I went online to read a news story
有关移民被歧视的新闻报道 about immigrants being discriminated against.
然后我就点击了标题 Well, and so I clicked on the headline,
结果却是一则雷蒂鲜奶油的广告 but it turned out to be an ad for Reddi-Wip,
然后我就点了叉叉 想把广告关掉 so then I clicked on the "X" button to make it go away,
结果却链接到了又一则广告 but then it was a link to another ad,
接着我又想把它关掉 and when I tried to cancel that,
又弹出一个窗口 是这个 another window came up, and it was this.
我操 这他妈是什么玩意儿 Dude, what the fuck, bro?
这是怎么一回事 哥们 What does this mean, dude?!
我操 这他妈是什么玩意儿 Bro, what the fuck, bro?!
你喜欢我们学校吗 吉米 Do you like our school, Jimmy?
喜欢 莱斯莉 我非常喜欢我们学校 Uh, yes, Leslie. I like our school very much.
我也喜欢我们学校 I like our school, too.
我喜欢去上学的孩子们 I like the kids who go there.
我开始对你有点疑问了 莱斯莉 I'm starting to wonder something about you, Leslie.
我也对你有点疑问了 I'm starting to wonder about you.
你看上去是个好孩子 I mean, you seem like a nice kid,
可你不觉得你还能再开心点吗 but don't you feel like you could be happier?
-我了个操 -怎么了 - Holy shit. - What?
失陪一下 Can you excuse me for a moment?
好 Okay.
吉米 你怎么看 Well, Jimmy? What do you think?
她知道自己是则广告吗 Does she know she's an ad?
他能认出它们 He can spot them.
她知道自己是则广告吗 Does she kn-know she's an ad?!
国营农业保险公司
这他妈到底是怎么回事啊 哥们 What the hell is going on, bro?
哥们 Bro?
哥们 这他妈到底是怎么回事 Bro, what the hell is going on, bro?!
如果我们要回去 切记 If we're going back, remember --
我们谁都不能相信 we don't know who we can trust.
要是他们想搞砸我的小镇 If they want to mess with my town,
我就把他们统统操到死 I'll fuck every last one of them.
出发 Let's do this!
坐好了 孩儿们 Buckle up, buckaroo!
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