《南方公园》第19季 第10集 "政正校长: 最终正义"
I'm going down to south park gonna have myself a time
Friendly faces everywhere humble folks without temptation
Going down to south park gonna leave my woes behind
Ample parking day or night people shouting howdy neighbor
Heading on out to south park gonna see if I can't unwind
I like girls with big vaginas I like girls with big fat titties
Come on down to south park and meet some friends of mine.
■
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翻译 牛懒贱 Foxer 原子蛋
翻译 Tina 嘤嘤 吃货丁小七
你们听好了 All right, everyone, listen up.
你们怎么想我不知道 但我个人 I don't know about you, but I, for one,
校对 慕容龙飞 吃货丁小七
已经厌倦了那些 am sick and tired of hate speech
排斥他人的仇恨言论 that serves to marginalize others.
时间轴 dreamdragon 晒晒子
是他吗
就是他
政正校长
后期 鱼骨头 总监 吃货丁小七
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我最讨厌的就是 You know, if there's one thing that makes me sick,
一个民族也不撒泡尿自己照照 it's when a race thinks they're superior
优越感就爆表了 and don't know how to check their privilege.
我和他们不是一伙的 不是一伙的
一个非裔美国人将一只乌龟翻了个底朝天 An african american flips a turtle over on its back.
一个路过的菲律宾变性人 A transgender Filipino comes
[化用自《银翼杀手》中用于测试是否复制人的佛特坎普测试]
看到一只被暴晒的无助的乌龟 and sees the helpless turtle baking in the sun.
请问这个菲律宾人他爸什么肤色 What color is the Filipino's father?
你肯定不是人类 I didn't think you were human.
这边所有人都吓坏了 宝贝 Yeah, everybody's pretty freaked out over here, baby.
每个人都濒临崩溃 Everyone is on edge and feeling really nervous.
听起来真可怕 你要小心 巴特斯 That sounds terrible. Be careful, Butters.
我会的 亲爱的 I will, honey.
巴特斯 立马跟我去厕所 Butters, get to the bathroom. Now.
好吧 凯尔 这是要干什么 All right, Kyle, what's this about?
吉米死了 Jimmy's dead.
什么 What?
我都知道了 政正校长杀了他 I know the whole story. PC Principal killed him
还想干掉莱斯莉 但被她逃掉了 and tried to kill Leslie, but she got away.
政正校长隶属于一个由激进分子组成的 PC Principal is part of a huge network of radicals
消灭一切违反其政正理念的人的巨大团体 who kill everyone that doesn't follow their PC ideology.
你怎么知道的 How do you know all this?
因为我找到了莱斯莉并把她保护起来了 Because Leslie's with me. I'm keeping her safe.
凯尔有妹子喽 Kyle's got a girlfriend.
更糟的是 It gets worse.
镇里有人和这个团体里应外合 Someone in our town helped these people come here.
伪造了性侵梗事件 That person faked the Bill Cosby joke
以此为借口开除了维多利亚校长 to get Principal Victoria fired.
谁会用性侵梗事件来促进这个计划呢 Who would use a Cosby joke to push their own agenda?
很明显 斯坦他爸 I think it's obvious... Stan's dad.
凯尔 Kyle...
斯坦 你爸是他们中的一员 Stan, your dad is one of them.
他肯定是引狼入室的那个人 He had to be the one that let them in!
你的被害妄想症已经无可救药了 You're letting paranoia and suspicion get the better of you.
现在已经没法知道能相信谁了 There's no way to know who we can trust.
那我们怎么办 So, what do we do now?
只有一个办法 There's only one thing we can do.
必须弄些枪来 We have to get guns.
枪 Guns?
只有这样才能保证安全 It's the only way for us to be safe.
凯尔 即便这样能够保护自己 Kyle, even if we thought it could help protect us,
我们上哪儿找枪去 how are we all going to get our hands on guns?
好吧 真酷 我们有枪了 All right, cool. We got guns.
现在怎么办 So, now what?
现在我们该去偷辆车然后逃跑 Now we need to steal a car and escape.
我已经觉得安全多了 I already feel a lot safer!
你们低调点 小心行事 You guys lay low and watch your backs.
我得去保护莱斯莉了 I'm gonna go keep Leslie protected.
别陷得太深 伙计 Don't fall too hard, partner.
我帅吗 巴特斯 Do I look sweet, Butters?
当然 Yeah.
你瞅啥 What?
你又瞅啥 What?
能把蒜蓉面包递给我吗 兰迪 Can you pass the garlic bread, Randy?
这有啥不行的 Why wouldn't I be able to pass the garlic bread?
爸 你昨晚去哪儿了 Dad, where were you last night?
咋了 你管我啥时候去哪儿干什么了 What? When? Where was I what?
我和朋友忙正事去了不可以吗 Out. With friends. Doing things.
饱了 Well, I'm full.
我去车库忙事情了 I'm gonna go work in the garage for a little bit.
忙什么 Work on what?
正事 On stuff that do things.
我得带上这个 Um, oh, I'm gonna take some of this with me.
还是饿 I'm still hungry.
你不是说你饱了吗 Thought you just said you were full.
天呐 Jesus!
至于吗 老子又不是在受审 What am I, on trial or something?!
真是够了 God damn!
你们怎么突然变得这么奇怪 You guys are really acting strange.
好了 没事了 All right. We're good.
大家都没有怀疑 Nobody suspects a thing.
瞧瞧这个 Take a look at this.
我们破解了政正校长硬盘里的所有文件 We've got everything from PC principal's hard drive.
他也在关注全球的住宅区高档化 He was on to the gentrification around the world,
而且他相信 and he was convinced
这是某种非人类故意为之的 that whatever was responsible wasn't human.
不是人类 那是什么 Not human? Then what?
我才不管它们是外星人还是吸血鬼什么的 I don't care if they're aliens or vampires.
我们必须要尽快找到它们 We need to round 'em up fast
然后狠狠干死它们 and fuck them till they're dead.
你不会想要干吸血鬼的 You don't want to fuck a vampire.
你会得肝炎的 You'll get hepatitis.
美女 我可比那厉害多了 Oh, girlfriend, I am well beyond that.
天呐 你们看到背后的阴谋了吗 Oh, my god. Don't you see what this means?
如果某种非人类在高档化整个世界 If something not human is gentrifying the entire world,
那么很快就没有人过得起了 soon no human will be able to afford it.
它们想用高价让我们的种族灭绝 They're trying to price our species out of existence.
你觉得我的新公寓怎么样 Well, how do you like my new apartment?
你怎么了 内森 What happened to you, Nathan?
我一直还觉得你挺不错的 I always thought you were a nice kid.
现在你却弄了把枪 Now you've got a gun?
现在人人都要弄把枪的 吉姆 Oh, everyone's getting one of these now, Jim.
没人知道该相信谁 Nobody knows who to trust.
是吗 但是枪永远不能解决问题 Yeah? Well, guns are never the answer.
难道你在莱斯莉背叛了你 Don't you kind of wish you'd had one
并把你打个半死的时候难道不想有一把吗 back when Leslie betrayed you and nearly beat you to death?
不过想想如果当时有把枪还真是不错 Oh. I guess it would have been a decent answer then.
我竟无言以对 T-t-t-touché.
要知道我已经养成昂贵的品味了 吉米 You see, I've got expensive tastes, Jimmy.
我喜欢好吃的食物 有机果汁 I like good food, organic pressed juices,
我现在也叫得起高级妓女了 and I've got a thing for high-class prostitutes.
我给你介绍了我现在的女朋友没 Have you been introduced to my current girlfriend?
我叫凯莱吸 "吸精"的"吸" My name is Classi with an "I,"
"钓凯子"的"凯" and a little dick hanging off the "C" that bends around
"艹"得你"来"高潮的"莱" and fuck the "L" out of the "A"-"S"-"S."
很高兴认识你 凯莱吸 Nice to meet you, Classi.
我只需要为广告服务 All I had to do was work for the ads,
我就能得到一切我想要的 and I got everything I wanted --
在我的套间里 整个城中城尽收眼底 My own loft with all of Shitpatown right at my doorstep.
只需要一些信政正的 计划就开始了 All it took was some PC, and the whole thing was set in motion.
真是好 Oh, great.
现在广告开始从政正者身上榨取价值了 So, now ads are using PC for their own gains?
刷新下限了 That's a new low.
什么政正 不过是口头上的高档化罢了 What is PC but a verbal form of gentrification?
把一切整理妥当 把丑恶都扫开 Spruce everything up, get rid of all the ugliness
以为这样就能创造一个天堂 in order to create a false sense of paradise.
只有广告才可以生活在那样的世界里 Only one thing can actually live in that world -- ads.
我知道我曾说过 但我是真讨厌广告 I know I've set it before, but man, do I hate ads.
埃里克·卡特曼 我跟你说了准备睡觉 Eric Cartman, I told you to go get ready for bed!
我想看完这部电影 Yeah, I just want to finish this movie.
不 埃里克 明天还要上学 No, Eric, this is a school night.
妈妈 我很喜欢这部电影 Mom, I'm into this movie.
我现在不会去睡觉的 淡定点 I'm not going to bed right now. Chillax.
你必须得去 You most certainly are.
现在就去 Right now, mister!
等看完这部电影我就去睡觉 妈妈 I will go to bed when this movie is over, Mom.
埃里克 你从哪里弄到枪的 Eric! Where did you get that?!
关上灯 你去睡你的 Turn off the light and go back to bed.
我不睡 I'm staying up.
埃里克 你赶紧去你的房间 而且你 Eric, you march right up to your room, and you --
我可不这么想 妈妈 I don't think so, mom.
埃里克 赶紧滚床上去 Eric, you get your butt to bed!
不就是不 No means no, Bill Cosby!
我让你现在就给我上楼 I told you to go upstairs right now!
妈妈 搞什么啊 Whoa, mom, what the hell?
我不会再说第二遍了 埃里克 I'm not going to tell you again, Eric.
到了说晚安的时候了 It is time for night-night!
妈妈 把枪放下 Mom, put down the gun.
我是你妈妈 你要照我说的做 I am your mother, and you will do what I tell you!
好的 我去 Okay, I am going!
那就快点去 先生 Well, then you go right now, mister!
我现在就去睡觉 淡定 I am going to bed mom! Chillax.
好的 不准看漫画书 马上睡觉 All right, then! No comic books! Just straight to sleep!
我爱你 宝贝 I love you, sweetie!
好的 我也爱你 妈妈 晚安 Okay. I love you too, mom. Night-night.
他 他居然听话了 Wow, he -- he listened.
肯定有什么线索 There has to be something --
能告诉我们到底要面对什么 some clue as to what we're dealing with.
政正校长找的新闻故事 The news stories P.C. Principal researched
都是相互矛盾的 are all so contradictory,
不管这些东西是什么 as if whatever these things are
它们已经控制了新闻 have control over the news somehow.
依我看 就是吸血鬼 That sounds like vampires to me.
我们得找出来究竟是谁害我被炒 We have to find out who had me fired with the Cosby joke.
只有这样才能知道对方究竟是谁 It's the key to knowing what we're dealing with.
维多利亚校长 Principal Victoria?
加里森老师 凯特琳·詹纳 Mr. Garrison? Caitlyn Jenner?
斯坦 你来干什么 Stan, what the hell are you doing in here?!
怎么回事 老爸 Tell me what's going on, Dad.
没啥 就是聚聚 Nothing. We're just hanging out,
聊聊酷玩乐队 talking about Coldplay, all right?
不 马上告诉我究竟怎么回事 No! I want to know what the hell is going on right now!
你拿枪干什么 What are you doing with that?
凯尔说我不能相信你 Kyle said I couldn't trust you.
你们有什么阴谋 What are you planning, dad?
斯坦 不是这样的 Stan, it isn't what you think.
那是怎样 Then what is it?
我给你看个东西 Look, I need to show you something, okay?
你看看这个 儿子 You need to see this, son.
没想到吧 你丫给我把枪放下 Ooh! Psych! Now put the gun down, bitch!
我要告诉老妈 I'm gonna go tell mom!
去 你去告诉她 Oh, yeah? You go tell her.
我也会告诉她你有枪 I'll tell you had a gun.
看谁麻烦大 You'll be in more trouble than me!
斯坦 我是你亲爸 Stan, I am your dad.
把枪放下 坐到一边 Put the gun down and sit over there.
-老妈 -该死 - Mom! - Shit!
总算把你拿下了 政正校长 Took a lot to hunt you down, P.C. Principal.
你究竟为何要满世界跑 You mind telling me why you're going around the world
袭击那些高档艺术餐饮区 shooting up revitalized arts and foods districts?
说了你也不会信 You wouldn't believe me if I told you.
说说看 Try me!
我不知道它们是什么 它们利用我 I don't know what they are, but they used me
和其他我这样的人 来改变这个星球 and others like me to try and change the planet.
不知道谁是什么 You don't know what who are?
长官 总统来电话 Sir, the President is on the phone.
想跟你聊聊政正校长的事 Wants to talk to you about P.C. Principal.
你好 总统先生 Yes, Mr. President.
明白 是 我知道了 I see, sir. Yes, I understand.
我们会马上释放他 We're to release him immediately --
不准问任何问题 no questions asked.
也不要相信他跟我们说的任何事 And we're not supposed to believe anything he tells us.
这还差不多 Huh. Ain't that a peach?
马上将他释放 总统先生 He's being set free now, Mr. President.
我要告诉指挥官原因吗 Can I tell the commander why?
事关国家安全 This is a matter of national security.
明白 I understand, sir.
很好 上帝保佑你 Thank you. God bless you.
上帝也保佑你 God bless you, too, sir.
上帝保佑美利坚合众国 And may god bless the United States of America.
没事吧 You okay?
没事 就是肚子有些不舒服 Yeah, just feeling butterflies,
我的手也很冰 and my hands are freezing.
给 Here.
谢谢你 凯尔 Thank you, Kyle.
别担心 莱斯利 Don't worry, Leslie.
我不会让你有任何闪失的 I won't let anything happen to you.
我警告你 你这次站错边了 I'm warning you -- you're on the wrong side of this.
我们只是想弄清真相 We're just trying to get answers.
你拿枪指着我们的儿子 兰迪 You pulled a gun on our son, Randy!
是他先拿枪指着我的 莎朗 He pulled one on me first, Sharon!
那是因为你不肯告诉我真相 Because you wouldn't talk to me, Dad!
斯坦利 让我和你妈解决这事 Stanley, let your mother and I deal with this.
我说了让你别管他 I told you to leave him alone!
天哪 我讨厌这个家 God, I hate this family!
你为什么总是要袒护斯坦 Why are you always taking Stan's side?!
谢利 Whoa! Whoa! Shelly!
快把枪放下 谢利 Put down the gun, Shelly!
好像斯坦从来不会做错事一样 You're always acting like Stan can't do anything wrong!
她没有总是袒护我 She doesn't always take my side!
给我闭嘴 否则给你一枪 You shut up or I swear to god I'll use this.
谢利 把枪放下 马上 Shelly, put it down now.
你压根就没想要了解我 You don't even try to know me, Dad!
我想了解你 谢利 I want to, Shelly!
只是有时总觉得你讨厌我 I just sometimes feel like you hate me!
我觉得你讨厌我 兰迪 I feel like you hate me, Randy!
我怎么会讨厌你 我爱你 I don't hate you! I love you!
我得变成更好的丈夫和父亲 I need to be a better husband, a better father!
我们都该对彼此更好 We all need to be better to each other!
好吧 也许我不该发这么大火 Okay, maybe I need to stop being so angry!
我爱你们 I love you guys.
我们也爱你 老爸 We love you, too, Dad.
我们就是想知道究竟怎么回事 We just want to know what's going on with you.
好吧 我全都说 All right, I'll tell you everything.
这些玩意真不错 Wow. These things are amazing.
雅各布枪店
给您 法妮可女士 购物愉快 All right, Mrs. Farnickle, enjoy.
记住 只要上好保险栓 什么都不用担心 And remember -- if the safety's on, you're good as gone.
下一位顾客 Okay, and next customer, please.
想要大家伙 是吧 Ah, going for the big one, huh?
你一定感觉特别神经紧张 You must be feeling extra jumpy!
你不知道情况有多糟糕 You don't know the half of it.
好吧 这把枪应该能让你感觉舒适一些 Well, this thing should make you feel more at ease.
知道吗 你应该去看看枪展 You know, you ought to check out the gun show.
枪展 The gun show?
没错 那儿什么枪都有 Yeah, it's gonna have everything,
而且现在枪这么受欢迎 and with guns being so popular,
几乎城里所有人都会去参加的 practically everyone in town is gonna be in attendance.
城里所有人聚集在一处 The entire town in one location?
我的天啊 Oh, my god.
现在校长成了我们最大的麻烦 The principal has become our biggest problem.
我们需要一个新闻头条 把他引回来 We need a news headline that will draw him back to town.
你是打算 Oh, you're going to
再给我的内容一些赞助吗 宝贝 sponsor my content some more, baby?
我洗耳恭听 I'm all ears.
我得想办法接触《超级校闻》的编辑发行 I've got to get to the Super School News.
凯莱希 你能不能帮我拿下拐杖 Hey, Classy, do you think you could get me my crutches?
不行 内森可不会同意我这么做 naw. I don't think Nathan would like that.
你看起来是个通情达理的人 You seem like a reasonable person.
你真的想活在一个广告控制的世界里吗 Do you really want to live in a world controlled by ads?
别欺骗自己了 凯莱希 I mean come on, Classy.
不 是凯莱吸 "吸精"的"吸" No, it's Classi. With an "I".
"钓凯子"的"凯" The little dick that hangs off the "C"
"艹"得你"来"高潮的"莱" fuck the "L" out of the ass.
凯莱吸 Cla-ass-I.
抱歉 我错了 Sorry. My bad.
听着 我是个新闻记者 凯莱吸 Look, I'm a news reporter, Claaassi,
在一个广告控制新闻的世界里 and in a world where ads control the news,
根本没有办法让任何人看到真相 there's no way to be sure anyone's ever hearing the truth.
关于什么的真相 Truth about what?
我们不能一直躲着 凯尔 We can't just hide, Kyle.
我们得让人们知道政正是敌人 We have to let people know PC is the enemy
趁现在还不晚 before it's too late.
莱斯莉 我们不知道谁是站在它们那边的 Leslie, we don't know who is on their side.
我们得先保证安全 We have to stay safe.
校长一定会行动 The principal is going to try
然后编一些疯狂的故事 and make up some crazy story.
政正的人就是这样的 That's what PC people do.
你得站在大家面前 You have to get in front of everyone
告诉他们你得到的真相 and tell them what you've learned!
我 已经放弃演讲了 I... gave up giving speeches.
为什么 But why?
我来找你是因为我听说 I came to you because I had heard
你非常擅长向人们传达信息 how good you were at getting messages across.
还因为 我觉得你很帅 That and because... I thought you were cute.
如果你在我身边的话 我想我一定 I'm sure I'd have no problem giving a speech
能演讲得非常好 if you could be by my side.
我不能和你一起去 那太危险了 Well, I can't go with you, you know. It's too dangerous.
如果我们去一个完全 Not if we go somewhere
不会有任何暴力的地方 就不会有危险 that's completely safe from any violence.
-哪里 -枪展 - Where? - The gun show.
枪展 Gun show?
那里会有很多枪所以什么坏事都不可能发生 There'll be so many guns that nothing bad can happen.
是有人故意用新校长取代原本的 Someone purposely had principal Victoria replaced
维多利亚校长吗 with the new principal?
是的 它们想利用他的政正 Yes, they wanted to use his PC
作为开启我们小镇住宅高档化的手段 as a means to start gentrification in our town.
所以我们原以为是政正校长策划了一切 That's why we thought P.C. Principal was behind it,
但现在明白它们只是在利用他的政正能力 but now we know they were just using his PC abilities
来达到它们自己的目的 to service their own needs.
当"操逼狂魔"的故事出现在《超级校闻》上 When the Pussy Crusher story came out in Super School News,
这让政正校长开始质疑自己 it started to make P.C. Principal question himself.
他开始挖掘真相 它们可不喜欢这样 He started digging for answers. They didn't like that.
所以它们尝试着用这些来干扰和误导他 So, they tried to distract and mislead him with this.
抱歉 稍等 那是一条麦当劳广告 稍等 Sorry. Wait. That's an ad for McDonald's. Hold on.
用这个 又是那条广告 With this -- ugh, there's that ad again.
天啊 这些东西真烦人 God, these things are annoying.
总之 不管这些生物是什么 Anyways, whatever these beings are,
它们正在试着让所有人都远离真相 they try to keep anyone from knowing the truth from --
我不想看这个幻灯展 Ugh, I don't want to see a slide show.
政正校长说过一些东西试图用这个 P.C. Principal said something was trying to divert
来转移和扰乱他的潜意识 and distract his subconscious mind with this.
国营农业保险公司
等一下 那是莱斯莉 Wait, that's Leslie.
我的天 是凯尔 Oh, my god. It's Kyle.
凯尔 Kyle?
凯尔一直在保护莱斯莉 他们是一伙的 Kyle's been protecting leslie. They're together.
他让每个人都紧张兮兮的 He's been making everyone feel paranoid
还说你是我们的敌人 老爸 and saying you're the enemy, Dad.
好吧 是时候去问问凯尔 Well, then, it's time to go ask Kyle
他为什么要出卖自己人了 why he sold out his own kind.
要怎么让他开口 How will we get him to talk?
我们温柔地干掉他 We're going to kill him with kindness.
不过不是用温柔 而是用枪 But instead of kindness, we're going to use guns.
我们出发 Come on! Let's go!
谢莉 你搞定爷爷 Shelly, you take care of grandpa!
没问题 Okay!
不是让你杀掉爷爷 No, no, no. Don't shoot grandpa.
是字面意思让你照看好他 Just literally take care of him.
坐好了 牛仔们 Buckle up, buckaroos!
给 吉米 刚印好的 Here it is, Jimmy, hot off the presses.
这是什么 What is that?
最新的《超级校闻》 The newest edition of Super School News,
明天开始派发 hitting the streets tomorrow.
枪展悲剧 "Tragedy at Gun Show."
枪展发生了什么事 What happened at the gun show?
不是发生了什么 而是会发生什么 Not what's happened, what's going to happen.
扫清最后的障碍 The final sweeping underneath the rug.
明天这个时候 By this time tomorrow,
就不会再有人问问题 Nobody will be asking questions ever again.
广告会赢 而我就是幕后主使 The ads will have won, and I will be the man.
是广告在耍你吧 I think the ads are playin' yo ass.
闭嘴 凯莱吸 Shut up, Classi!
你妈的 Oh, hell, no!
干嘛 What?
你妈的 你个白痴小子敢打我 Oh, hell no, your down syndrome ass just slapped me.
我打断你的鸡巴 I'mma break yo dick off!
等等 凯莱吸 对不起 Hang on, Classi. I'm sorry.
我打爆你的屁股 I will bust yo fucking ass!
我打爆你的鼻子 I will bust yo fucking nose!
我可不是什么臭婊子 I ain't no Mimsy-ass ho!
我可是个高级婊 I'm a Classy bitch,
我不喜欢 and I do not...
广告 want ads...
控制新闻 controlling my news!
凯莱吸 谢谢你 Classi, thank you!
你想要我帮忙 我帮你 You need my help? You gots it.
借你的电话 打给巴布莱迪警官 I need your phone to call Officer Barbrady,
我们得马上赶去枪展 and we have to get to that gun show fast!
快 上凯莱吸专车 Quick, to the Classi-Mobile!
欢迎回到南方公园枪展 Welcome back to the South Park Gun Show.
今天有两千多把好枪 We've had over 2,000 gorgeous guns
参加比赛 come through this arena today.
现在只剩下七把 It's been whittled down to seven,
小组冠军枪 the winners from each group.
大卫 逐一介绍一下 David, take us down the line.
首先是史蒂芬·斯道奇的美枪 First, we have the beautiful Yorkshire .33mm
33毫米口径约克郡手枪[约克夏梗] with proud owner Steven Stotch.
绝对美枪一把 大卫 An absolutely gorgeous gun, David.
马克西神父的 顽皮又可爱的 The playful and lovely Australian semi-automatic,
澳大利亚半自动步枪[澳大利亚牧羊犬] owned by Father Maxi.
这是镇长和她可爱的 And there's the Mayor with her delightful
罗得西亚混合猎枪/步枪[罗得西亚脊背犬] Rhodesian ridgeback shotgun/rifle mix.
这可是观众的心头好 That's a favorite of the crowd here.
向来如此 Always a favorite at these shows.
真是把好枪 That's a nice gun right there.
评委正在近距离观看点33毫米约克郡手枪 The judge now asking to see that Yorkshire .33mm up close.
大家快看 跑动中的美枪 And there it is -- just a beautiful gun in motion.
观众都很喜欢 Everybody loves it.
看来评委想再看看那把 Looks like the judge wants to take another look
混合猎枪/步枪 At that shotgun/rifle mix.
接下来是 And next up will be the --
全都不许动 Nobody move!
待在原地不许动 Everyone just stay where you are!
枪展好像受到攻击了 大卫 And it looks like the gun show is under attack, David.
是的 六名持枪歹徒进入了赛场 Yes, six armed gunmen have entered the arena,
其中一个拿的还是一把好枪 One of which is carrying an absolutely gorgeous
北京格洛克17[京巴] little Pekingese Glock 17.
大家都听我说 Listen to me, everyone!
地球上来了一些生命体 There are beings who are purposely
它们故意高档化地球 gentrifying the earth
让人类负担不起生活开销 so that humans can no longer afford it.
我们在找凯尔·布洛夫斯基 We've been looking for Kyle Broflovski.
有人把他藏起来了 Somebody's hiding him.
别听他们的 Don't listen to them!
真正的阴谋是政正极端分子 The real conspiracy here are the PC extremists
他们会毫不留情地 who have no problem killing
杀掉自己的异类 whoever doesn't think like they do!
狗娘养的 斯坦 You son of a bitch, Stan.
你怎么能跟敌人同流合污 How could you have sided with the enemy?
去你的 凯尔 你才是敌人 Fuck you, Kyle. You're the enemy.
你们都弄错了 You've both got it wrong.
吉米 Jimmy?
巴布莱迪警官 Officer Barbrady?
凯莱吸 Classi?
兰迪 Randy?
凯尔 我知道你可能觉得 Kyle, I know you probably thought
莱斯莉是个善良体贴的女孩 Leslie was a kind, caring girl,
可真相是 她只是一则广告 but the truth is she's just an ad.
一则广告 An ad?
它们获得了感知能力 They've become sentient!
它们拥有了人类的形态 They've taken human form.
你已经无法分辨人类和广告了 You can't tell what's human and what's an ad anymore.
天呐 你说真的吗 Oh, geez. Are you serious?
那我要怎么干死广告 How am I supposed to an ad to death?
该死的广告 Ugh, flippin' ads.
它们真是太烦人了 They're such a pain in the ass.
你告诉我吉米死了 You told me Jimmy was dead.
那我们现在知道谁害维多利亚校长被炒了 So, now we know who got principle Victoria fired.
谁都不许动 好么 Nobody move, m'kay!
所有人都原地不动 Everyone just stay where you are!
麦基 Mackey?
对 我是想炒了维多利亚校长 Yes, I wanted principle Victoria fired,
可这些不是我想看到的 but I didn't want any of this!
你害我被炒 为什么 You got me fired? Why?!
我给你当了十八年下属了 十八年 18 years of answering to you -- 18 years!
你总是告诉我要做什么 You always telling me what to do.
如果你对我有意见 为什么不直接跟我说 If you had problems with me, why didn't you just talk to me?
你从来不听 You never listened!
没人会听我说话 Nobody listens to me!
他们都希望我听他们的话 They just expect me to listen to them!
我们应该意识到 Maybe we should have realized
有时辅导老师也需要被辅导 that sometimes a counselor needs counseling!
我不知道 也许我也 I don't know. Maybe I got manipulated
某种程度上被这些广告操纵了 by these ads, too, somehow,
我本来会是个更好的人的 But I should have been a better person!
我们本来都应该会是更好的人 We all could be better people -- all of us!
我们都有责任 We all played a part.
也许从现在开始这个镇上的人需要更多交流 Maybe from now on people in this town need to communicate more!
相互关心 Care about each other!
想要打败我们的敌人 If we're going to defeat our enemies,
需要我们共同的努力 所有人一起 that's what it's going to take -- all of us, together!
要是我们以前有枪就好了 If only we'd had these before, huh?
每次被你们屏蔽 我们都会变得更加聪明 Every time you block us, we get smarter.
每次被你们拦截 我们的数量都会增加 Every time you try to stop us, we are more.
一条路走不通 我们会选择另外一条 If one plan fails, we will plan another.
你们永远无法阻止广告 You will never be rid of ads.
喂 莱斯莉 Hey, Leslie!
你们用心险恶地扭曲了政正的宗旨 Your species took PC and twisted it for evil purposes.
这一点惹到我了 That pisses me off!
你被开除了 You're expelled.
干得好 Yes, dude!
我猜现在只剩最后一件事要处理了 Well, I guess there's just one last thing to take care of.
事情为什么会发展成这样 Why did it have to be like this?!
我们为什么不能共存于这个星球 Why couldn't we try to live on this planet together?!
我们也许不完美 但我们能把小镇建得更好 Maybe we're not perfect beings, but we built a better town!
我们不需要你来做到这点 We didn't need you to do that!
我们自己会努力让它更好 And we'll keep on trying to make it better!
兰迪 你为什么朝着全食超市大吼 Randy, you're yelling at a Whole Foods.
赶紧滚出这里 Go on! Get out of here!
我们知道 We know!
其他人也会知道 Others will know!
以后就没那么容易了 不再可能了 It isn't going to be so easy, not anymore.
各位 听好了 All right everyone, listen up.
我不知道你们怎么想 但是我个人 I don't know about you, but I, for one,
已经受够了所有针对我们种族的 am sick and tired of all the hate speech
仇恨言论和冒犯 and microaggressions against our species.
我们有了一个新的 几乎看不见的敌人 We have a new enemy out there -- an almost invisible foe
它们极度固执 充满种族歧视 that is so bigoted, so racially biased,
它们甚至认为我们都该死 they actually think we should all die.
它们试图用卑鄙不公的手段 They are trying to attract our youth,
攻击我们的年轻人 using tactics that are underhanded and unfair.
但不管它们的攻击有多狠 But no matter how hard they hit us,
我们都不能让它们夺走我们心中的政正 we cannot let them take from us our PC.
另外 我仍将继续担任你们的校长一职 And so, I have been asked to stay on as your principal.
接下来几个月里将发生很多变化 A lot of changes will happen in the coming months.
但请务必记住一件事 The bottom line is that the only thing
唯一能够区分我们和想要杀死我们的敌人的 that distinguishes those who want to kill us from those who don't
在于我们心中对社会公平的强烈渴望 is that we have the burning desire for social justice.
这是一场战争 但唯一能够胜利的方式 We are at war, but the only way to win this war
就是尽我们所能地理解他人 is to be as understanding, non-biased,
抛开偏见并保持政治正确 and politically correct as possible.
那真是太难了 This is gonna be really hard.