翻译 Annie 豆和星星
字 幕 侠
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翻译 梅惜敛 舒九 凉月
THE SUB-MAN
校对 宇宙万宝路 后期 Jason肖
原 创 翻 译 中英双语字幕
特效 小布 压制 浅浅
♪ I'm goin' down to South Park, gonna have myself a time ♪
监制 宇宙万宝路 时间轴 阿布
THE SUB-MAN
原 创 翻 译 中英双语字幕
♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪
♪ Humble folks without temptation ♪
♪ Goin' down to South Park, gonna leave my woes behind ♪
♪ Ample parking day or night ♪
♪ People spouting, "Howdy, neighbor!" ♪
♪ Heading on up to South Park, gonna see if I can't unwind ♪
♪ Mrph rmhmhm rm! Mrph rmhmhm rm! ♪
♪ Come on down to South Park and meet some friends of mine ♪
南方公园 第二十一季 第４集 "系列前传"
这尼玛什么鬼 What on Earth was that?!
我叫吉米·佛默 My name is Jimmy Valmer.
我非非非常快 And I am very f-f-fast.
综合诊疗中心
我一出世 父母就知道我非同寻常 When I was born, my parents knew I was different.
非常抱歉 佛默夫妇 I'm sorry, Mr. And Mrs. Valmer.
你家的宝贝儿子终生不能行走 Your newborn son will never be able to walk.
但他会极其擅长喜剧 But he will be extremely good at comedy.
多多多么棒的听众 Wow! What a t-t-terrific audience.
即兴喜剧
长大以后 我的能力也日益增强 As I got older, my powers only increased.
不是你的奶酪叫什么 What do you call cheese that isn't yours?
救命 Help!
玉米片干酪[谐音"不是你的奶酪"] Nacho Cheese.
如今我愿加入超级英雄队伍 And now I look for others like me
寻找和我一样打击罪犯的人 to fight crime as part of a superhero team.
我是... I am...
飞飞飞毛腿 Fa-Fa-Fastpass.
英雄 选秀
好 好 谢谢你 飞毛腿 Okay, okay, thank you, Fastpass.
我挺喜欢 你们觉得呢 I like it. What do you guys think?
我们系列里 We definitely don't have
确实没有掌控超速能力的英雄 anyone with super-human speed in our franchise.
飞毛腿 你为什么觉得自己 Fastpass, what makes you feel qualified
有资格加入我们的电影宇宙 to be part of our cinematic universe?
我不仅非非非常快 Well, besides being super f-f-fast,
我的态度还很好 I also have a good attitude
而且周末安排很灵活 and flexibility with my schedule on weekends.
飞毛腿 欢迎加入浣熊盟友会 Fastpass, welcome to Coon and Friends.
浣熊侠
你马上就要发家致富了 You are about to make a shit load of money.
浣熊盟友会
系列前传
好了 超级英雄们 All right, superheroes,
我们来规划一下行动纲领 it's time to layout our plan of action.
系列电影计划
阶段1 阶段2 阶段3
如图所示 我把 As you can see, I have
系列电影计划分为三个阶段 divided the franchise plan into three phases.
第一阶段以"浣熊侠"网飞剧集开始 Phase one begins with "The Coon" Netflix series
到"浣熊盟友会集结"电影 and goes through the "Coon and Friends United" Movie
我们将在此介绍工具侠和风筝侠 where we introduce Tool Shed and the Human Kite.
第二阶段 我们拍"浣熊侠大战飞毛腿" In phase two, we do "Coon vs. Fastpass,"
然后是蚊子侠的独立电影 followed by an origin movie about Mosquito.
天呐 我还有独立电影吗 Oh, boy! I get my own origin movie?!
没错 That's right.
我们的王牌保鲜盒侠 黑人超级英雄 It's in Phase two that we will finally introduce
最终也将在第二阶段强势登场 Tupperware, our black superhero, like an ace in the hole.
等等 我们为什么 Whoa, whoa. Wait. How come
从网飞剧集开始 we gotta start off with a Netflix series?
不能直接从电影开始吗 Can't we just go right into movies?
网飞现在急需剧集 工具侠 Netflix is starving for new shows right now, Toolshed.
他们会买下别人推销的任何剧集 They will literally buy anything people pitch them.
我们得趁热打铁 We need to strike while the iron is hot.
然后第三阶段 我们最终会拍"内战" Later, in phase three, we can finally get to Civil War,
我们全都... where we will all...
怎么了 What is it?!
克雷格超人呼入的视频通话 Incoming Facetime call from SuperCraig!
接上屏幕 On screen!
朋友们 咱遇到大麻烦了 You guys, we have a big problem.
怎么了 克雷格超人 What is it, SuperCraig?
有人在我们的脸书主页上搞事 Somebody is messing with our Facebook page.
他们到处散布谣言 They're spreading all these lies
说我们火烧美国旗帜 and saying we like, burn the American flag
往彼此嘴里尿尿 and pee in each other's mouths.
怎么散布谣言 Spreading lies how?
你看 某人有组织地 Take a look. Someone is systematically
针对我们的脸书粉丝 targeting our Facebook followers
对他们进行误导 and feeding them misinformation.
谁会故意用这么肮脏 Who would deliberately use Facebook
鲁莽的方式使用脸书 in such a horribly reckless way?
巴特斯 你不是又在看咪咪吧 Butters, you're not looking at boobies again, are you?
没 爸爸 我没看咪咪 No, Dad, I'm not looking at boobies.
南方公园小学
巴特斯 Butters.
大家好哇 Oh, hey, fellas!
巴特斯 你是不是在 Butters, are you using
用脸书搞臭我们的超级英雄系列 Facebook to fuck with our superhero franchise?
没 Nope.
巴特斯 巴特斯 Butters. Butters!
怎么了 Yes, fellas?
兄弟 听着 我们没空抬杠 Dude, listen, we don't have time for this.
网飞当下正在购买 Right now, Netflix is buying
别人推销的任何剧集 any show that people pitch them.
这是我们系列开机的最佳机会 We have a real shot at starting our franchise,
你也算在我们的系列计划里 懂吗 and you are a part of that franchise plan, okay?
我们也给反派计划了电影 We have movies planned for the bad guy!
像"自杀小队"这种吗 You mean like "Suicide Squad"?
对 Yes!
"自杀小队"弱爆了 "Suicide Squad" Sucked.
巴特斯 Butters!
巴特斯 你不能编造我们的谣言 Butters, you can't just make stuff up about us.
大家会相信的 People are thinking it's true.
听着 朋友们 你们有权用脸书 Look, fellas, you have a right to be on Facebook,
我也有权用脸书 and I have a right to be on Facebook.
而有时候 这会造成一些... And sometimes, that's going to cause a little...
混乱 chaos.
上课去了 Gotta get to class.
真几把无赖 Dude. What a dick!
如果我们不设法阻止他 If we don't find a way to stop him,
咱一分钱都别想赚 盆友们 we're never going to make any money, you guys.
感谢大家的到来 Thanks for coming, everyone.
我知道大家与我和莎拉一样 I know you are all concerned as Sarah and I are
都很担心我们孩子的近况 about what's happening to our children.
我不敢相信咱镇的娃穿着戏服 I just can't believe that children in our town
扮成超级英雄 are dressing up in hero costumes
往彼此嘴里尿尿 and peeing in each other's mouths.
这些小屁孩是谁 And who are these kids?
有人知道吗 他们穿着斗篷 Does anyone know? They're wearing capes
往自个儿直肠眼里塞东西 and forcing objects into their own rectal cavities.
为啥 Why?
我们很震惊地了解到一位青年美籍黑人男孩 We were shocked to read that a young African-American boy
头套特百惠盒 is wearing Tupperware
趁姑娘们睡觉时 向她们排便 and defecating on girls while they sleep.
如果那群孩子和咱家小孩鬼混怎么办 What if those kids are hanging out with our kids?
你知道我觉得问题是什么吗 You know what I think the problem is?
是脸书 Facebook.
脸书 怎么说 Facebook? How so?
瞧 我们都知道 Well, look, we all know
最近脸书上的事实和虚构 there's a lot of mixing of truth and fiction
混杂不清 that's been on Facebook lately.
而孩子们缺乏判断 And children lack the cognitive ability
脸书上信息真伪的认知能力 to determine what's true and what isn't on Facebook.
所以我们镇上才会有小孩子 That's why we now have young kids
穿着戏服 吃着便便 dressing up in costumes, eating poop,
还和咱镇的羚羊发生性行为 and having sex with antelopes in our town.
没准我们得让孩子们退出脸书 Maybe we need to get our kids off of Facebook.
那可办不到 That'll never happen.
知道我怎么想吗 You know what I say we do?
我们邀请马克·扎克伯格过来吧 Let's invite Mark Zuckerberg to come and talk to us all
跟大家聊聊这个社区的问题 about our concerns in this community.
你真觉得他会来吗 Do you really think he'd come?
为啥不试试呢 Why not give it a try?
我们邀请马克·扎克伯格过来 Let's invite Mark Zuckerberg here
听听他怎么说 and see what he has to say.
我相信他是个明白人 I'm sure he's a reasonable person.
出租
电
路
城
你是谁 你想干嘛 Who are you?! What do you want?!
我是来应聘的 I'm here about the job?
你是亚当吗 快进来吧 Oh, are you Adam? Well, come on in!
你的择业观念非常明智 亚当 You're making a smart career choice, Adam.
我们这儿的工作就是运用脸书 You see, what we do here is utilize Facebook
不仅传播混乱 还能从中获利 not only to spread chaos but to actually profit from it.
我们的薪酬十分合理 You'll find the hours very reasonable,
而且我正努力给 and I'm working on getting
所有员工提供医疗和牙科保险 full health and dental for all employees.
这是你的公司制服 Here's your company uniform.
亚当 要知道我所做的是 You see, what I've done, Adam,
建立完全自给的制造混乱机器... is built a completely self-sustaining chaos machine...
这身很适合你... You look fantastic...
无非是做迎合脸书开创初衷的事罢了 Doing nothing more than what Facebook was designed to do.
我用假新闻在脸书上赚钱 I make money from Facebook for my fake content
然后付钱给脸书 进一步推广我的假新闻 in order to pay Facebook to promote my fake stories.
混沌联盟
如此一来 我们每天都在壮大 And thusly, we're growing bigger every day.
各位 能听我说几句吗 Everyone, can I have your attention please?
我们有一位新混沌专员 We have a new agent of chaos.
欢迎亚当·尔博克 Please welcome Adam Borque.
去吧 这片工作区属于你了 亚当 Here you go. You can take this workstation, Adam.
先写些耸人听闻的事情 Just start writing horrible things about people
然后在脸书上演得像真事一样 and presenting it as reality on Facebook.
好了 别忘了还有混沌指标 伙计们 All right! Don't forget we have a chaos quota, gang!
都燥起来吧 Let's really fuck shit up.
南方公园小学
脸谱莅临社区 演讲嘉宾:马克·扎克伯格
好了 后排的人能听见我说话吗 All right. Can everyone hear me in the back?
行 我们马上开始 M'kay We're gonna get started here.
我知道你们都有一大堆问题 I know you all have a lot of questions,
闲话少说 so without further ado,
欢迎马克·扎克伯格 let me introduce Mark Zuckerberg.
感谢到来 扎克伯格先生 Thanks for coming, Mr. Zuckerberg.
谢谢 能与大家见面 Thank you. It is a great honor
是我的荣幸 to be here amongst all of you.
为了极少数不认识你的人 For those few who don't know,
你能稍作下自我介绍吗 could you tell us who you are?
我是脸书的创始人及总裁 I am the founder and chairman of FACEBOOK.
亦有"屏蔽不了"之意 因为脸书用户无法屏蔽他
但我也有势不可挡的风格 But I also have a style that is completely unblockable.
好 我们先让他演讲 Okay, we'll let him speak,
一会儿如果还有时间的话 and then we'll open the floor to some questions
将开放自由提问 谢谢 if there's time. Thank you.
谢谢 对 Thank you, right.
好的 你们都想见识我的风格 All right. Everyone here wants to see my style.
但首先我需要一个志愿者 But first what I'll need is a volunteer.
这位先生 Yes, you sir?
扎克伯格先生 脸书已经变成一个 Mr. Zuckerberg, Facebook has become a tool
某些人破坏我们国家和社区的工具... for some to disrupt our country and our community...
你说得好像都是我的错一样 You say these things like they are my fault,
然而并不是 and yet they are not.
但你确实创造了一个允许 Well, you did create a platform
人们散布虚假消息的 with a monetary incentive
鼓吹利益的平台 for people to spread misinformation.
我看你是想努力 Now I see you're trying
用你的风格盖住我 to use your style over mine.
你是想阻止[屏蔽]我 Now, you try to block me.
现在你知道你无法阻止我 不是吗 Now you have learned that you cannot block me, yes?
好 你的问题是啥 Yes. What is your question?
我们该如何让孩子们... How are we supposed to keep our kids...
是威尔逊·奥布里吗 Wilson Aubrey?
是 Yeah.
是你的英雄们 浣熊盟友会 It's us, your heroes, Coon and Friends.
我们... 就是好奇 We're, uh... just wondering
你为什么在INS上取关我们 why you stopped following us on Instagram.
因为你们伤害无辜的人 Because you victimize innocent people
还在小女孩嘴里拉屎 and poop in little girls' mouths.
那不是真的 威尔逊 That's not true, Wilson.
好莱坞著名制片人 被指控涉嫌性侵和潜规则女星
我们是浣熊盟友会 可不是哈维·韦恩斯坦 We're Coon and Friends, not Harvey Weinstein.
脸书说是真的 Facebook says it's true.
但它是假的 But it's not true.
但脸书是这么说的 But Facebook says it's true.
好吧 但它是假的 Okay, but it's not true,
你给我动动你的榆木脑子 and you need to have your own fucking brain
再自己判断行不行 and decide shit for yourself!
去他妈的 我们就认了吧 God damn it! Let's just face it.
我们永远别想拍超级英雄系列了 We're never gonna have a superhero franchise!
太不公平了 It's so unfair!
振作点 朋友们 我们不能让巴特斯赢 Come on, fellas. We can't let Butters win.
算了吧 飞毛腿 全世界都讨厌我们 Forget it, Fastpass. The world hates us now.
对 没人相信我们 Yeah, nobody believes in us.
可我们相信自己 不是吗 We believe in each other, don't we?
谁在乎别人的想法 Who cares what everyone else thinks?
我参加这个系列 是因为我相信 I joined this franchise because I believe
它可以赚很多钱 that it can make a lot of money.
当超级英雄 就意味着你坚信那份钱 And being a superhero means you keep believing in that money
无论事情变得有多困难 no matter how hard things get.
飞毛腿说得对 Fastpass is right.
我们任凭琐事耽误了重要的大事 We've let all this distract us from what's important.
只需得到网飞的剧集批准 We just need to get the Netflix series
再让咱的超级英雄系列靠实力说话 and let our superhero franchise speak for itself.
浣熊侠 大家讨厌我们 Coon, everybody hates us.
也许是吧 但我们了解自己 Maybe so, but we know who we are.
我们是浣熊盟友会 因为大家心系彼此 We are Coon Friends because we care about each other,
因为大家互相支持 because we have each other's backs.
而当绝境来临之时 And when things look their darkest,
英雄们将团结一心... these heroes will stand together and re...
卡宝 怎么了 Babe, what's up?
你在忙什么呢 What are you up to?
没啥 就穿着贼特么赞的戏服 Nothing. Just fucking wearing sweet costumes,
讨论与邪恶势力斗争 talking about fighting evil.
不行吗 Is that okay?
我... 我以为我们要在公园见面 I just... I thought we were meeting at the park.
你没有发信息告诉我 You didn't text or anything.
我的天 你他妈是在逗我吗 Oh, my God. Are you fucking kidding me right now?
对不起 我不打扰你了 Sorry! I won't interrupt.
因为我们是浣熊盟友会 Because we are Coon and Friends,
只要我们仍拥有彼此 and as long as we have each other,
我们便无所不能 we can do anything!
我发誓这是我见过最差的演讲者 I swear that was the worst public speaker I've ever seen.
马克·扎克伯格到底想说什么 What was Mark Zuckerberg's point?
我完全听不懂他在说啥 I don't even understand what that was about.
谁能想到马克·扎克伯格是个傻屌 Guess nobody realized Mark Zuckerberg was such a penis.
搞什么鬼 What the hell?!
是马克·扎克伯格 It's Mark Zuckerberg.
我知道是他 I know who it is!
不好意思 你在这干嘛 Excuse me, what are you doing here?
我是受人邀请而来的 I was invited here by people.
我们邀请你是让你 We invited you to come speak
就我们的问题 解答社区疑惑 to our community about our problems!
我知道你的意图 你想阻挡我 是吗 I see what you did there. Trying to block me, right?
我吃够薯片了 还有什么吃的吗 I am tired of eating chips. What else is there?
别碰我家的冰箱 Get out of our fridge.
这台小冰箱都没法阻挡我 This puny refrigerator could not block me.
你有什么自信能做到 What makes you think you can?
你给我听好 我不会... Now, you listen here! I will not...
你和我的风格不搭 You are no match for my style.
我们去哪儿 也许我们该去买点吃的 So, where are we headed? Perhaps we should get some food.
什么... 抱歉 这是我家的车 What... Excuse me, this is our car.
你管这叫车 You call this a car?
它都远不能阻挡我 It wasn't even remotely able to block me.
这辆车的风格是什么 What is this car's style?
滚... 滚出去 你... 你个傻屌 Get... Get out of here, you... you penis!
你说我是傻屌 You say I am a penis,
可我并不是屌 and yet I am not a penis.
网飞台
网飞 您的剧集发行平台 请问是哪位 Netflix. You're green lit. Who am I speaking with?
你好 我们有一部剧的构思 Yes, hello, we have an idea for a show
我们觉得很适合网飞 that we think would be great for Netflix.
很好 你是想做一集试播 Okay, great. Would you like a pilot
还是直接做六集的订单 or just go straight to an order of six episodes?
我们希望直接做六集 We'd like to go right into six episodes
且第三集结束后能有购买选项 with a pickup option at the end of three.
收到 你们下个月就能开拍吗 Got it. Can you start shooting next month?
我们有部关于变性龙的剧了 Got a show about transsexual dragons here!
可以 我们准备立马开始 Yes, we're ready to start right now.
我们非常非常激动 We are very, very excited.
好 听起来不错 我们会把合同寄过去 Okay, sounds great. We'll send you the contracts.
还有 这部戏是讲什么的 And, what's the show about?
这是个独立系列 It's a stand-alone series
讲的是超级英雄浣熊侠 about a superhero called The Coon
加入浣熊盟友会之前的故事 before he joins Coon and Friends.
浣熊盟友会 Coon and Friends?
你是说我在新闻上读到的那些 You mean the kids I just read about in the news
刺伤杰西卡·阿尔芭的小孩 who stabbed Jessica Alba?
听着 你不是... 你不是在新闻上看到的 Look, you didn't... you didn't read that on the news.
你是在脸书上看到的 You read that on Facebook.
又来了 Man, here we go.
朋友 我们从没开过这类先例 Yeah uh, digit, we've never done this before,
恐怕我不能批准你们的剧集 but I'm afraid I'm gonna have to pass on your show.
听我说 Listen to me!
脸书上有关我们的事都是捏造的 There are falsehoods about us on Facebook that are not true!
好吧 那你们就把那些东西撤下呗 Well, then you should have those things taken down.
又不会太难 It can't be that hard.
比你想得要难多了 It's a lot harder than you think!
听着 我们很想批准你们的剧集 Look, we'd love to approve your show,
可你得先把那些破事处理掉 好吗 but you need to get those things cleared up first, okay?
感谢来电 Thanks for calling.
网飞 您的剧集发行平台 请问是哪位 Netflix. You're green lit. Who am I speaking with?
搞什... 你是谁 What the... Who are you?
我想这是马克·扎克伯格 I believe that's Mark Zuckerberg.
那是我的汤 That's my soup!
你是想阻挡我 对不对 So, you are trying to block me, huh?
那行 你的风格是什么 That's fine. What's your style?
我没有风格 I don't have a style!
滚下我的床 Get out of my bed!
我受邀而来 I was invited here.
只是让床发挥了它被躺的作用 I am only making use of a bed for sleeping, yes?
我们只是想让你来 We just wanted you to come
跟我们分享你对脸书的看法 share your insights on Facebook!
我的头 我的头 Oh, my head! My head! Shaaa!
我给过你机会 你本该听我的劝 You should have worked with me when you had the chance.
现在你躺在那 死翘翘啦 Now you lie over there, dead.
各位同事 请注意 Attention, employees.
凯莉·斯米特刚刚写完她第一百篇 Kelly Shmidt has just written her 100th fake blog post
在脸书上转发超一千的假消息 that was shared over 1,000 times on Facebook.
祝贺凯莉 Let's hear it for Kelly!
别忘了我们混沌集团的奖励 Don't forget about those Chaos incentives!
你也能混沌中受益的 You too can benefit from pandemonium.
巴特斯 Butters!
天呐 是浣熊盟友会 Oh, no! It's Coon and Friends!
不好了 Ahh! Oh, no!
天呐 Oh, no!
大家冷静 继续工作 Calm down, everyone. Stick to your work.
我来对付这些入侵者 I will deal with these trespassers.
混沌博士 我们是来了结你的 We're here to put an end to you, Chaos!
对 我没跟羚羊肛交过 Yeah! I don't have butt sex with antelopes,
托肯也没在女生嘴里拉过屎 and Token doesn't poop in girls' mouths!
现在是21世纪了 各位 It's the 21st century, gentlemen.
我没干什么违法的勾当 There's nothing illegal about what I'm doing.
是吗那我们海扁你一顿也不违法啊 Yeah? Nothing illegal about us kicking your a-a-ass either.
其实那是违法的 Actually that is illegal.
而且 你休想伤害到我 And besides, you can't do anything to me.
这就是你跟我说过的 Wah! So, this is the Coon and Friends
那个浣熊盟友会 that you have told me about.
我警告你 没人能超越我的战斗风格 I warn you, my fighting style is unsurpassed.
他又是谁谁谁啊 Who the S-S-S-Sam Hell is that?
我想那是马克·扎克伯格 I think that's Mark Zuckerberg.
你们想打巴特斯吗 You wanna get to Butters, right?
那你们要先过了我这一关 You're gonna have to get through me, huh!
兄弟 这小屁孩故意在你的平台上 Dude. This kid is deliberately lying about us
编造我们的坏话 不为别的 on your platform for no other reason
只为造成伤害 than to cause harm.
你为什么要护着他 Why are you protecting him?
很简单 他给了我17块2毛3 Simple. He paid me $17.23.
这是脸书安保程序 It's the Facebook safeguard program.
每月仅付17美元 Just $17 monthly gets you
马克·扎克伯格的私人保护带回家 personal protection from Mark Zuckerberg.
来吧 你是什么风格 Come on! What's your style?
公园镇警署
好了 好了 大家冷静一下 All right. All right. Everyone calm down.
我一句也听不清 I can't hear over all you!
你得做点补救措施 You have to do something!
那个人到处晃悠 This guy is going around
搞得大家的东西都像是他的 acting like everyone's stuff is his!
我真是受够了洗完澡出来 I'm sick of getting out of the shower
看到马克·扎克伯格坐在我家马桶上 to find Mark Zuckerberg sitting on my toilet!
扎克伯格把我家的冰箱吃空了 Zuckerberg ate everything in our freezer
还擅自用我老婆的润滑剂 and then helped himself to my wife's lubricant!
好了 各位 All right. All right. Everyone!
我只是想了解一件事 I just want to know one thing.
谁请他来的 Who invited him here?
说吧 是谁当初邀请马克 Come on. Who invited Mark Zuckerberg to town
扎克伯格来的 in the first place?
- 是我们 - 是我们 - We did. - We did.
你们说什么 Huh? What's that?
是我们邀请马克·扎克伯格来的 We invited Mark Zuckerberg to town.
我也是这么想的 Uh-huh. That's what I thought.
你们允许马克·扎克伯格进入你们的生活 You all brought Mark Zuckerberg into your lives
现在你们又想让警察毙了他 and now you want the police to shoot him.
拜托 你不明白 Please, you don't understand.
他... 就是个傻屌 He's... He's such a penis.
我确信他的声音是别人配的 Yeah, and I'm pretty sure his voice is dubbed
他还给自己加很多音效... and he does all his own sound effects...
这也不代表他违法乱纪了啊 Well, that doesn't mean he's done anything illegal.
警察会协助处理马克·扎克伯格的事 但... Now, the police will help deal with Mark Zuckerberg, but...
我们不会击毙他的 we aren't going to shoot him.
抱歉 事情只能这样办 I'm sorry, that's just the way it is.
你们当初让他进入你们的生活前 You all should have thought harder about this
就应该把这些想清楚 before letting him into your lives.
当大家成为超级英雄时 曾经发过誓 When we all became superheroes, we took an oath.
那便是无法付出什么代价 都会挣一大笔钱 That no matter what it took we would make shit loads of money.
但因为马克·扎克伯格 现在... But thanks to Mark Zuckerberg, right now...
我们是超级英雄团队 we are a superhero group
却连网飞剧集都拍不了 that can't even get a show on Netflix.
扎克伯格是关键 Zuckerberg is the key.
他是唯一能关闭脸书的人 He's the only person who can shut down Facebook.
我们怎么才能让他关闭呢 How are we going to get him to do that?
我们要用他的玩法打败他 We're gonna beat him at his own game.
我们守住了小镇的西入口 We got the west entrance to town secure.
你们东边如何 How you guys doing out east?
他来了 Here he comes.
扎克伯格先生 到此为止了 Okay, Mr. Zuckerberg. That's gonna have to be it.
不能放你入镇 Can't let you into town.
你以为你们能阻挡我吗 So, you think you can block me?
听着 大家都不想要你来 Look, people don't want you here okay?
这是座宁静的小镇... This is a quiet little town and...
你们无法阻挡我 You cannot block me.
先生 你有大把的地方可以去 There's plenty of other places you can go, sir.
你能不能就... Can you please just...
禁止通行
警戒线
别... 请别这样... Don't... Don't do that please...
我的头 我的头 My brain! My brain! Aah!
他走过去了 He walked through.
我的车 我的车 Aah! My my car! My car!
天呐 那是马克·扎克伯格 Oh, my God! It's Mark Zuckerberg!
天呐 他是怎么做到的 Oh, my God! How'd he do that?!
怎么了你觉得太太太快了吗 What's the matter? Too f-f-fast for you?
你眼睁睁看着我穿越了警戒线 You saw me walk right through that police barricade,
你以为自己还拦得住我吗 and yet you think you can block me, right?
来试试吧 Go ahead and try.
好了 扎克伯格 看你怎么屏蔽我的风格 Now Zuckerberg! Let's see you block my style!
我还从没见过这种风格 I have never witnessed this style before!
快看 穿戏服的怪小孩 Hey, look! The freaky costume kids
要拿下扎克伯格了 are getting Zuckerberg!
孩子们 搞死他 Get him, kids!
往他嘴里拉屎 Poop in his mouth!
你们想搭配我的风格 但失败了 You tried to match my style and failed!
完蛋了 Oh! It is over!
我的盟友们都被击败了 为什么 My friends are all beaten! Why?!
他们只是孩子 They were just children.
这个孩子只想为黑人抗争 This one simply protesting for black lives.
而这个孩子想为残疾人发声 And this child trying to speak out for handicapped people!
为什么 马克·扎克伯格 W-Why, Mark Zuckerberg?
以及我的朋友凯尔 And my friend Kyle,
身无罪孽 只一心为犹太人争取权利 guilty of nothing but standing up for the rights of Jews.
你．．．你在说什么 Wh-wha-what are you talking about?
听说过脸书直播吗 Ever heard of Facebook Live?
我们只是为黑人 残疾人和犹太人能拥有 We are just kids trying to have our voices heard for
合法权利而发声的孩子 black, handicapped and Jewish rights.
但马克·扎克伯格扼杀了我们 Cut down in our prime by Mark Zuckerberg.
可... 等等 这... 不是真的 But... but hold on. That... that's not true!
脸书说这是真的 Facebook says it's true.
不 Nooo!
- 什么 - 发生啥事了 - What? - What's going on?!
大家继续干活 Everyone keep working!
- 不行 - 脸书网出故障了 - We can't. - Something's wrong with Facebook.
它消失了... It's gone. Like...
有人把它关闭了 somebody shut it down.
你门在说什么屁话 What are you talking about?!
都结束了 混沌博士 It's over, Chaos!
我们已经逼你那马屁精关闭了 We've forced your little toady to shut down
他的混乱设备 his own disorder device.
咒你全家 浣熊盟友会 Curse you, Coon and Friends!
这事没完 This isn't over!
不 已经完了 Oh, yes, it is.
巴特斯 这些事是你领头干的吗 Butters! You're the one who started all this?!
完了 Uh-oh.
你觉得自己很聪明是不是 You think you're just so smart don't you?
不是 老爸 我只是... No, sir! No, sir, I just...
你把我当傻缺是不 Make me look like a fool will you?!
咱们走着瞧吧 We'll just see about this!
现在不好玩了吧 Not so funny now is it?!
去啊 把你对我说的告诉普京先生 Go on! Tell Mr. Putin what you told me!
我只是... Well, I was just...
我说 我只是学俄罗斯的方式利用脸书 Well, I just said how I just used Facebook like Russia did
也没干啥违纪的事... and really didn't break any rules...
没干啥违纪的事 Didn't break any rules!
把这种价值观传给下一代 干得真不赖啊 Good job teaching our children that's all that matters!
不是说你能给小镇带来混乱 Just because there's a way to cause chaos in a town
或是分裂整个国家 or disrupt an entire country
就意味着你要去做 不是吗 doesn't mean you go and do it, does it?
要是马克·扎克伯格面朝某人摆了尊大炮 If Mark Zuckerberg points a loaded cannon at someone's face,
你点燃导火线还敢说自己无辜吗 are you innocent for just lighting the fuse?!
回答我 Answer me.
不敢 先生
当然 你也不要到处散播别人的谣言 No! You don't go around making up things about people either,
除非是关于马克·扎克伯格的 unless it's about Mark Zuckerberg
因为他活该 'cause he deserves it.
我希望你俩对自己惹的麻烦 I hope you're both very satisfied
都很"满意" 因为你俩都被禁足了 with the damage you've caused, because you're both grounded!
浣熊盟友们 我们成功了 Coon Friends, we have done it.
脸书关闭了 网飞也预定了我们的剧集 Facebook is gone and Netflix has approved our TV show.
现在要做的 All we have to do now
就是通过系列计划的最终定稿 is agree on the final draft of the franchise plan.
我们能看到现在"克雷格超人"电影排在 You can see that the SuperCraig movie now precedes
"浣熊侠大战克雷格超人"之前 the Coon VS SuperCraig movie
随后就是神秘侠电子游戏和... followed by Mysterion's video game and then...
我为什么只能发售电子游戏 How come I have to have the video game?
我也要上电影 I wanna movie too.
你有部电影 神秘侠 You have a movie, Mysterion.
你会出现在第三部"浣熊盟友会集结"中 You're in the third Coon and Friends United movie
在电子游戏发售后 after your video game.
但他的意思是 他没有自己主演的电影 Yeah, but he's saying he doesn't ever get his own movie.
- 我有自己的电影吗 - 不是每个人都能主演电影 - Do I get my own movie? - Not everyone gets their own movie.
- 这个系列计划烂透了 - 老天爷又来了 - This franchise plan sucks. - Oh, Jesus, here we go again.
不 崔克女侠说得对 No, Wonder Tweek is right.
我们从保鲜盒侠开始拍个前传 It was better when we started the movies off
整个电影系列会更好 with the Tupperware prequel.
哥们儿 你不能先拍前传 Dude, you can't do a prequel first.
- 为啥 - 因为这么一来就不是前传了 - Why not? - 'Cause then it's not a prequel,
而是第一部 it's just first.
而且保鲜盒侠不是咱们中最牛逼的角色 And besides Tupperware isn't our strongest character.
滚你妈的 总好过风筝侠 Fuck you. It's better than a human kite.
他喜欢这个计划 因为他在第一阶段有两部电影 He just likes this plan because he gets two movies in phase one.
朋友们 我们只能按这计划来 Guys! We have to just go with this plan.
我们一部电影还没拍呢 We don't even have one movie yet!
你跟着你的计划走 You go with the plan.
或许我们可以安排自个儿的系列 Maybe we'll just go and do our own franchise.
- 对 - 没错 - Yeah! - Yeah!
你想挑起内战吗 这是你想要的吗 Oh, you want civil war?! Is that what you want?
没错 老兄 就是内战 操你大爷 Yeah, dude. It's civil war. Fuck you.
操你大爷 滚出我家 Oh fuck you. Get outta my house.
THE SUB-MAN
关注新浪微博 @FIX字幕侠
我们靠自己的系列会赚更多钱 We'll make way more money on our franchise!
去啊 我打赌按你们的系列计划来 Go ahead. I bet you don't even get halfway through phase one
第二阶段都到不了 DC小丑们 on your franchise, DC Comics.
我以为"内战"会到第三阶段才爆发呢 I thought Civil War wasn't supposed to happen until phase three.
闭嘴 克雷格超人 Shut up, SuperCraig.