剧中所有人物及事件 即便源于真实人物 也是纯粹虚构 所有名人配音均为蹩脚模仿 以下节目自带花样粗口 不适合任何人观看
翻译 Annie 舒久 海顿
字 幕 侠
关注新浪微博 @FIX字幕侠
翻译 章一 豆和星星
THE SUB-MAN
校对 宇宙万宝路 后期 Jason肖
原 创 翻 译 中英双语字幕
♪ I'm goin' down to South Park, gonna have myself a time ♪
特效 小布 压制 Jason肖
监制 宇宙万宝路
♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪
THE SUB-MAN
原 创 翻 译 中英双语字幕
♪ Humble folks without temptation ♪
♪ Goin' down to South Park, gonna leave my woes behind ♪
♪ Ample parking day or night ♪
♪ People spouting, "Howdy, neighbor!" ♪
♪ Heading on up to South Park, gonna see if I can't unwind ♪
♪ Mrph rmhmhm rm! Mrph rmhmhm rm! ♪
♪ Come on down to South Park and meet some friends of mine ♪
南方公园 第二十一季 第9集 "政治正确 病入膏肓"
网飞
欢迎来到网飞 Welcome to Netflix.
我们去年批准了16部原创剧集和电影 Last year, we approved 16 original shows and movies,
今年 我们的目标是1087部 and this year, it is our goal to make that number 1,087.
所以我们网飞非常激动能和 That's why we here at Netflix are thrilled to be working
两位喜剧巨星 特伦斯和菲利普 合作 with you two comedy geniuses, Terrance and Phillip.
经典包袱 Classic stuff.
说说看你们想在网飞原创剧集里 Now go ahead and pitch what you're thinking
表演点什么 for your Netflix original series.
我们可以拍一个剧 Well, we were thinking that we'd do a show
讲述我和菲利普在农场上 where Phillip and I are on a farm.
和奶牛的故事 With a cow.
目前看来还不错 Okay, I love it so far.
太阳正要升起 然后... The sun is just starting to come up, and then...
我朝菲利普放了个屁 I fart on Phillip.
然后我说"特伦斯 你放屁了" And I say, "Terrance! You farted!"
然后我... 朝特伦斯放屁 And I... fart on Terrance.
所以是像这样来回放屁吗 这有点像... And then it's like a back and forth kind of thing? It's sort of like a --
就是来回放屁 It's like a back and forth kind of thing.
我朝他放屁 I fart on him.
- 他．．．朝．．． - 你放屁明白了 - He... farts... on... - On you. Got it.
不 No!
朝奶牛放屁 On the cow.
欢迎加入网飞 两位天才 Welcome to Netflix, you sons a bitches! Yeah!
南方公园小学
快来 崔克 快点 Come on, Tweek! Hurry!
怎么了 What's going on?
卡特曼和他女票又打起来了 Cartman and his girlfriend are fighting again!
妈个鸡 God damn it.
- 亲爱的 - 死辣鸡 - Sweetheart! - Piece of shit!
亲爱的 我今晚想和朋友看 Honey! I wanna watch "Terrance and Phillip"
"特伦斯和菲利普" tonight with my friends!
你答应了今晚跟我约会 You promised we'd have a date night!
就一晚上 宝贝 It's just one night, babe!
斯坦开了个观影派对 宝贝 Stan is having a viewing party, honey!
那为什么不让我去 So then why can't I come?!
"特伦斯和菲利普"是男生看的 宝贝 "Terrance and Phillip" is guys' night thing baby!
你俩 住手 Hey, hey, hey, hey!
你俩都在干吗 What the hell are you all doing?!
旁观臭婊子海蒂被胖揍 Watching Heidi get her bitch-ass kicked!
干你娘 温迪 Fuck you, Wendy!
别听她瞎比 海蒂 Don't take that crap, Heidi!
搞死卡特曼 Let Cartman have it!
各位 各位 现在情况太严重了 Guys! Guys, this has gone on way too long!
我们就不能互相友善一点吗 Can't we all stop being so mean to each other?
闭嘴 凯尔 你怎么跟你妈似的 Shut up, Kyle. You sound like your mom.
说得真好 宝贝 我爱你 That was awesome, baby. I love you.
我也爱你 宝贝 I love you, too, babe.
我去... Aww... Damn it.
斗殴结束了 都怪凯尔 Fights over. Kyle ruined it!
好了 大家听着 All right, everyone. Listen up.
你们都知道 学校近期出现多起 As you know, there has been a lot of bullying
校园暴力和迟钝回应 and insensitivity at our school.
为了缓和矛盾 我坚信 To counteract this, it is my firm belief
南方公园小学 that South Park Elementary
亟需一位强势的女士 is in desperate need of a strong woman.
所以在招副校长的时候 So in looking for a new vice principal,
我们渴望一位独立 智慧 伟大的女性 we wanted to find a powerful, intelligent,
来作为我们大家的榜样 and independent female to be a role model for us all.
请允许我给大家介绍 And with that said, I'd like to introduce
我们的新副校长--斯特朗·女士[女强人] our new vice principal -- Strong Woman.
谢谢 P.C.校长 Thank you, PC Principal.
好了 大家听着 All right, everyone. Listen up.
我是学校的新副校长 I'm the new vice principal of the school.
我叫斯特朗·女士[女强人] My name is Strong Woman.
我这几天在学校内外 I've already spent a few days here at the school
审视和观察 watching and observing,
发现我们的确存在一些亟待解救的问题 and we definitely have things we can all be working on.
史塔奇 Hey! Stotch!
你不能在斯特朗·女士发言时 You do not disrespect Strong Woman
交头接耳 这是对她不敬 by talking when she's talking.
你是觉得我自己处理不了吗 You really think I couldn't have handled that myself?
那个 我只是想确保... Oh! Uh, I was just making sure everything was --
你非要从我手里把话筒抢走吗 You really had to grab the mic out of my hand like that?
妈的 不是... 抱歉 抱歉 我... Shit. I mean -- No, sorry. Sorry, I'm not --
话筒给你 Uh, here you go.
我想让全校女生知道 I want the girls here at this school
你们可以跟我讲任何事情 to know that they can talk to me about anything.
但男生们也要知道 But I also want the boys to know
我希望给每个人打造更好的环境 that what I'm looking for is a better place for everybody.
改进我们学校 Turning this school around
需要每个人的努力 is going to take work from everyone.
每个人 From everyone.
请问 我做得不对吗 I'm sorry. Am I not doing this correctly?
不 不 抱歉 我只是想增添... 一下气势 No. No. Sorry! I thought I'd add -- Just add for emphasis.
你觉得我说话不够强势 是吗 You felt it wasn't strong enough, me saying it?
不 我... 对不起 No, I'm -- Uh, I'm sorry.
很期待能成为你们的副校长 I'm looking forward to being your vice principal.
我也希望可以让学校变得更好 And I'm looking forward to turning this school around.
好了 如果大家有任何问... All right. Now, if we have any que--
我还没说完 I'm not finished.
好的 抱歉 Right! Oh, I'm sorry.
集中注意 各位 Pay attention, everybody!
泰伦斯
这是"特伦斯和菲利普秀" It's "The Terrance & Phillip Show!"
泰伦斯
和
菲利普
和
菲利普
尽在网飞 On Netflix.
你好 泰伦斯 Hey, Terrance!
那个黑人律师对穆斯林牧师说了什么 What did the black lawyer say to the Muslim priest?
我不知道 菲利普 怎么了 I don't know, Phillip. What?
请进 Come in!
- 我们错过了吗 - 刚开始 - Did we miss it? - It's just starting.
看呐 亲爱的 凯尔他妈在这 Oh, look, honey -- Kyle's mom is here!
你不该在庙里吗 布罗福洛夫斯基太太 Shouldn't you be at Temple, Ms. Broflovski?
你好 Hola.
你们想买点酥炸墨西哥卷吗 Would you like to buy some chimichangas?
要 小兄弟 Sí, mi amigo!
来 我给你两比索 Here. I'll give you two pesos.
兄弟 这个太好看了 Dude, that's awesome!
怎么了 哥们 Wha-What's wrong, dude?
我对那些被屁崩的人 For the first time, I feel kinda bad
第一次觉得有点抱歉 for the person being farted on.
凯尔他妈不喜欢这个动画片 伙计们 Ohp. Kyle's mom doesn't like the cartoon, guys.
咱还是关了吧 Better shut it off.
海贝 我贼特么爱你 Baby, I fucking love you so much.
南方公园小学
好了 大家听着 All right, everyone. Listen up.
众所周知 我们一直在找一位强势的女士 As you all know, we've been looking for a strong woman
来担任我们学校的副校长 to take on the roll of vice principal at this school.
我们对于当今的选择非常满意 We couldn't be happier with the selection we've made,
并且坚信 她会带我们的学校更上一层楼 and we're sure she'll be making our school a better place.
所以 我把发言权移交出去 So with that, let me turn over the floor
来听听新副校长怎么说 斯特朗·女士 to our new vice principal -- Strong Woman.
谢谢大家 好了 大家听着 Thanks, everyone. All right. Listen up.
我非常理解有些人可能 I fully appreciate that some of you
会对我担任这个职位有些不自在 might be uncomfortable with me being here.
今天早上 我注意到有些老师 Earlier today, I noticed that some faculty
不确定是叫我女士 还是斯特朗 weren't sure whether to call me Miss Woman or just Strong.
如果我是男性 你们也许会称呼我 If I were a man, you'd probably address me
副校长女士 as Vice Principal Woman,
那凭什么与此不同呢 不是吗 so why would it should it be any different, huh?
- 明白吗 - 明白 - We good? - M'kay.
我正在慢慢了解这里的某些学生 So I've been getting to know some of the students here,
我的确听到了很多 and I'm definitely hearing
沮丧和疑惑的声音 a lot of frustration and confusion
针对当下所有学校面临的争议 over issues that all the schools are facing right now.
我也花了一些时间审察食堂 I also spent some time observing in the cafeteria
对大家言语的辱骂和不饶人感到非常震惊 and was pretty shocked by the abusive and intolerant language.
不知大家是否注意到 Not sure if any of you have noticed,
但是很多女生把午饭 but a lot of the girls are eating their lunches
带到操场上去吃 就是为了避开 out on the playground to avoid being around
这样糟糕的语言环境 the toxic environment that's been created.
我的本意是让食堂... It's my intention to make the cafeteria...
本校的体育课又是个大问题 P.E. class is another huge problem at this school.
女生们的运动装... The girls' gym outfits...
似乎从60年代起就没更新过了 seem not to have been updated since the '60s.
我们有很多事要处理 而我决意尽早解决 We have a lot of work to do here, I intend to do it quickly.
抱歉 打断一下 Excuse me. I-I'm sorry,
混混与自大狂 - 南加州民谣摇滚乐队
不过 有谁听到"混混与自大狂"的歌了吗 but, uh, is anyone else hearing Hootie & the Blowfish
音调很小 很轻柔 like very, very softly?
有 我听到了 Yeah, yeah. I hear it.
这... 好像是从那边传来的 It's - It's coming from over here somewhere.
抱歉 各位 我去下洗手间 Excuse me, everyone. I, um -- I need to get to the restroom.
抱歉 我马上就回来 Sorry. I'll be right back.
等等 等下 这儿 这儿 Hold on, hold on. Over here. Over here.
神所结合的 人不可分... What God has join together, let no man --
没错 就是这样 凯尔 That's it. That's it, Kyle.
永不 No more.
永不再听屎尿屁的段子 No more of them doody jokes.
永不再看那种讲 No more watching cartoons of people --
屎尿屁的动画片 people having to go doody,
以及在彼此头上拉屎 and poo-pooing on each other's heads.
再也不好笑了 对吧 凯尔 It's not funny anymore, is it, Kyle?
你好 校长... 先生 对吗 Hello there, Mister... Principal, is it?
对 我就是P.C.校长 That's right. I'm PC Principal.
今天有什么不适吗 What's bringing you in today?
那个 我耳朵出问题了 I'm, uh, having this problem with my ears.
好像有个声音... 一直在嗡嗡作响 There's like a persistent kind of a... ringing going on.
好的 你能描述一下吗 Okay. Can you describe the ringing?
是"混混与自大狂"的歌 It's, uh, Hootie and the Blowfish.
你听到的是首歌吗 You're hearing a song?
对 新来了位女士 Yeah, um, there's a new woman
刚加入我们学校 她叫斯特朗·女士 that has joined our faculty. Her name is Strong Woman.
她貌似是开启了 And, uh, she seems to have set off
我耳朵里的某个设备 some kind of device in my ears.
也许是你对她有些好感 So, maybe you're having some feelings for her.
不 不可能 我们可是同事 No, that couldn't be it. We work in the same place,
我绝不可能喜欢她 so it'd be impossible for me to like her.
肯定是我耳朵里的设备出问题了 I'm thinking there must be some kind of device in my ears.
我检查过了 Well, I looked,
"混混与自大狂"的歌并不在你耳朵里 and Hootie & the Blowfish aren't in your ears.
你听到的应该源于内心深处 I believe your hearing them in your mind and your heart.
伙计 Oh. dude.
兄弟 Bro.
副校长 斯女士
请进 You may enter.
副校长 斯女士
副校长女士 Vice Principal Woman?
副校长 斯女士
怎么 有什么事吗 Yes? What can I do for you?
我是凯尔 My name's Kyle,
我近来作出了不少改变 and I've been doing a lot of changing lately.
我来是因为我对学校的问题 I came because I might be able to offer some...
有些... 自己的见解 insight into our problems here.
请吧 畅所欲言 Please. By all means.
是这样的 学校里有一种风气 You see, there's a culture at this school
助长尖酸刻薄 that embraces meanness,
事态发展至此 全因一档加拿大电视秀 and I believe now it comes from a Canadian TV show.
所有男生都看 我以前也看 All the boys watch it. I did, too.
每当他们朝无辜路人脸上放屁... We all laughed while they...
我们都笑疯了 farted on innocent people's heads.
关键是... The thing is...
我从没考虑过那些路人的感受... I never felt for the person being farted on...
直到现在 until now.
我想与您合作 擦亮同学们的双眼 I want to work with you to try open people's eyes.
因为我现在明白了 Because I get it now.
你认为是屁的错吗 You want to blame farts?
这也太滑稽了 不是吗 That seems kind of ridiculous, doesn't it?
啥 What?
滑坡谬误:夸大每个环节的因果强度 而得到不合理的结论
你表现出的是典型的滑坡谬误 I mean, it's a slippery slope
当我们开始把矛头指向 when we start pointing the finger
自己的缺陷时便会出现 for our own short comings.
可我以为您一定会支持我的 But -- But I thought for sure you would be on my side.
其实 这听上去倒有点像是我妈会说的话 Kind of sounds like something my mother would say, actually.
啥 当我放屁好了 What?! Oh, forget it!
同学们 请注意 May I have your attention please?
布罗福洛夫斯基女士 Mrs. Broflovski, your tampons
请至前台领取你的卫生棉条 are available at the front desk.
布罗福洛夫斯基女士 Mrs. Broflovski, your tampons
请至前台领取你的卫生棉条 are available at the front desk.
谢谢 Thank you.
行了 咱们快走吧 Come on. We gotta get outta here!
你要见我吗 P.C.校长 You wanted to see me, PC Principal?
对 Oh, yes!
没错 麦奇... Yes, Mackey, uh...
我想知道你对 I just wanted to see how you thought
斯特朗·女士有什么看法 it was going with Strong Woman.
我觉得她适应得还不错 Well, she seems to be acclimating fine, m'kay.
孩子们很尊敬她 The kids really respect her.
那你知道... Do you know, um...
斯特朗·女士有没有男朋友吗 Do you know if Strong Woman has a boyfriend?
什么 What?!
没什么 别当回事 Nothing. Just forget it.
你他妈是疯了吗 Are you out of your fucking mind?!
在如今这种时势下问同事是不是单身 Askin' if a co-worker is available in today's times?!
我就想知道 因为如果她不是单身 I just wanted to know because if she's unavailable,
我也不用满脑子都想着她了 好吗 then maybe I can get my head off of her, all right?!
老天 这太可怕了 Oh, boy, this is bad.
太可怕了 This is real bad.
我不知道怎么开始的 I don't know how it happened.
这确实不合适 I know it's inappropriate,
可我没法不想着她 and yet I can't stop thinking about her.
我大概是病了 I think I'm sick.
听着 你这是在引地狱恶火上身 Look, this is real fucking fire you're playin' with, m'kay?
我去HR那边叫个人过来 I'm gonna get someone down here from HR!
HR 是去除"混混"的吗 HR? Is that, like, Hootie removal?
不 是人力资源部 No, Human Resources!
他们的人会过来让所有事 The people that come in to make sure everything's
重回正轨 kept on the level.
我们得让你重回正轨 We gotta get you back on track!
加拿大是否对美国产生了不良影响 Is Canada a bad influence on the United States?
特别报导
一群名叫"千禧后反加"的年轻人对此持肯定态度 A group of young people called "Millennials Against Canada"
正在连线的是领袖凯尔·布罗福洛夫斯基 think so, and we are joined by their leader, Kyle Broflovski.
感谢你的邀请 汤姆 Thanks for having me, Tom.
小伙子 你说我们大部分问题都是加拿大的错 Young man, you say Canada is to blame for most of our problems.
我说的是这种源自加拿大的风气 All I'm saying is that there's a culture that originates
至少我国现状的一小部分 from Canada which is at least partly to blame for the state
是他们的错 of our country now.
为作出回应 我们现在连线 To respond to this, we're now joined
加拿大流媒体部长 by the Canadian Minister of Streaming.
感谢你的邀请 伙计 Thanks for having me, buddy.
部长先生 你将如何回应这群愤怒的千禧后呢 Minister, how do you answer to these angry millennials?
他们生气是因为自己的国家是一泡屎 Well, they're pissed off because their country sucks,
然后他们想甩锅给我们 so they wanna point the finger at us.
我是说 双方都有责任 I'm saying we're all guilty, too.
我从小就看"特伦斯和菲利普" I grew up watching Terrance and Phillip,
- 我以前还觉得有趣 - 你觉得它以前有趣 - and I thought it was funny. - So, you thought it was funny,
加拿大人
愤怒的千禧后
- 可现在无趣了吗 - 不它一直都很无趣只是现在的看法不同 - but now it's not funny? - No, it was never funny. I see it differently now!
所以你想删减它 Oh, so you want to censor it?
我们不想删减它 We don't want to censor it,
要的是停播这档节目 we just want to get rid of it!
你的语气像犹太老妈 Uh-huh. You sound like a Jewish Mother.
看见没 这就是我说的重点 Oh, see?! That's what I'm talking about right there!
刻薄又下三滥的加拿大恶语 That kind of mean, degrading, Canadian trash.
我表示强烈谴责 你这是种族歧视 Now, I resent that! I find that racist.
加拿大人应该心系天下 Canadians should care about the rest of the world!
你是种族歧视 盆友 You are a racist, fwiend!
你要是对加拿大有意见 And if you have a problem with Canada,
那就去跟你们倒退的总统说去 maybe you should talk to your backward president!
- 我会的 - 好你去啊 - Maybe I will! - 'Kay, go ahead!
我还真认识总统呢 Maybe I know the president.
那可不吗 就像每个犹太老妈一样 Oh, sure you do, just like all Jewish moms
因为你不知道怎么... because you don't understand how...
- 别这样叫我 - 我能把话说完吗 - Stop calling me that! - Can I finish?!
你就知道损人... That's all you know is how to be mean and...
我不是 能不能让我说完 There's not a -- Can I finish please?!
因为你们浸染在恶语中长大 Because you were all raised on it yourselves!
拜托 能不能让我说完 Please, can I finish?!
好了 我说完了 All right, I'm finished.
好了 大家听着 All right, everyone, listen up.
我们一直致力于为各位员工提供 As you know we want to provide a safe work environment
安全的工作环境 for all our employees.
感情有时会迸发 Sometimes feelings do arise
我们也很容易被心魔驱使 and we are tempted by the devil to act upon them.
所以我们联系了人力资源部 So we've been reaching out to Human Resources Division
我想大家都需要别人来向我们 as I think we can all use someone to tell us
说明恰当与不恰当的行为 about what is and isn't considered misconduct.
她有一些好建议要说 She has some great advice for us,
请大家欢迎希瑟·康达特[风纪] so now please welcome Heather Conduct.
请吧 风纪女士 Go ahead, Miss Conduct.
大家好 我是风纪女士 Hello, everyone, my name is Miss Conduct.
我来是确保大家避免 I'm here to talk about making sure we avoid
在校内滋生弊端 明白吗 any trouble at this school, m'all right?
明白 M'kay.
好的 M'all right.
现在 我们举手表决 Now, by a show of hands,
谁曾对同事有过不恰当的感情 who's ever had inappropriate feelings for a co-worker?
你好哇 小姑娘 Well, hello there, little girl.
你在卖女童子军饼干吗 Are you selling girl scout cookies?
是的 怎么 想来块流心曲奇吗 Why, yes I am. How about a snickerdoodle?
好吧 这可是你自找的 All right. You asked for it.
我好像拉裤子了 Oh! Oh, I think I shit my pants.
到此为止 所有人停下来 That's it! Everyone stop!
这个节目不拍了 We're shutting it down!
我们是"千禧后反加" We are Millennials Against Canada!
我们要求这种加拿大式 We demand this kind of bullying
欺凌环境即刻停止 Canadian entertainment be stopped!
没想到我还能活着看到 Didn't think I'd live long enough to see
这事再次发生 this all happen again.
如今越来越多的千禧后开始变成犹太老妈了 More and More millennials are turning into Jewish mothers
突发新闻
从他们要求审查娱乐节目起 today as they demand the censorship of entertainment.
抗议者们表示他们不会放弃 The protesters say they're not giving up and are demanding
并要求和美利坚总统谈话 to speak with the president of the United States.
给 你有电话打来 Here you go! Call is coming in on your phone!
好 电话给我 喂 哪位 Good, give it here! Yes, hello?
我是"千禧后反加"的领袖 This is the leader of the Millennials Against Canada.
凯尔 你特么在搞啥 Kyle, what the fuck are you doing?
真是抱歉我在表明立场干实事 Oh, I'm sorry I'm taking a stand and doing something.
虚无主义: 认为世界和人类的存在没有意义或最本质价值
我猜这配不上你的虚无主义吧 I realize this doesn't gel with your nihilism!
好了 朋友 我不想说这话 Okay, dude. I didn't want to have say this,
但你现在讲话真像你妈 but you're really starting to sound like your mom.
我才不像我妈 I'm not like my mom!
我会有所作为的 I'm gonna make a difference!
感觉肯定超级棒 It's gonna feel real good!
凯尔 凯尔 Kyle? Kyle!
别干傻事啊 Don't do this man!
某人还在任 You can't mess with this shit
你可不要掺和这事 while You Know Who is in office!
我们都要死了 We're all gonna die!!
那啥 各位 M'all right, so now everyone,
咱们来角色扮演吧 we're gonna do some role playing, m'all right,
南方公园小学
谈谈我们在职场交流的恰当方式 talk about appropriate ways we can talk in the workplace.
有没有人自愿和我模拟一下 Can I -- Can I get a volunteer to role play with me?
有人吗 你想来吗 这位... M'all right? How about you Mister, uh...
麦奇先生 Mr. Mackey.
好的 上来吧 M'all right, come on up here.
现在我们就假装这是 M'all right now, we're just gonna pretend
上班前的一个普通早晨 it's a normal morning before work
我们即将开始一天的工作 and we're startin' the day. M'all right?
麦奇先生 早上好 Oh, Mr. Mackey, good morning.
早上好 风纪女士 Good morning, uh, Miss Conduct.
昨晚睡得好吗 Now did you have a nice night?
好 挺好的 Yeah, yeah, it was good.
那就好 祝你今天好运 M'all right, okay, well, good luck today,
希望我们的工作关系 and I hope that our working relationship
可以一直这样真诚直接 can continue be honest and straightforward.
我向你保证 我这人特别开放真诚 Oh, I'm very open and honest, I promise you that.
我能看得出 你有着诚实的双眼 I can see that, you've got very honest eyes, m'all right.
我其实不应该说 M'all right, I probably shouldn't have said
"你的眼神很真诚"这句话 "You have honest eyes," m'all right.
我对他身体特质的描述 That's a bit crossin' the line commenting
有些越界了 知道吗 这样很不好 on his physical attributes, m'all right? That's bad.
接下来我决定只谈工作了 好吗 I'm gonna stick to just talking about work only, m'all right?
麦奇先生 你平常用什么方式 So, uh, Mr. Mackey, what methods do you use
辅导学生呢 for counseling the students?
我通常用克资瑞可·所罗门 Oh, I mostly use a semi-cognitive approach
的半感知法 adapted by Kiezrick Solomon.
你研究过所罗门吗 Wow, you studied Solomon?
我大学论文就写的他 He was actually my thesis in college.
真的吗 我身边还没人听说过他呢 Are you serious? Nobody I talk to has ever even heard of him!
不会吧 我也是 No! Same here!
你怎么会对他的理论感兴趣 What made you attracted to his work?
就是自然而然地 你懂的 Well, it's just such a natural approach, m'kay.
那好吧 好吧 M'all right. M'all right.
当我读到它 刚开始我就像 When I read it, you know, first, I was like,
- ＂真不错＂ - 好吧 - "Whoa, okay." - M'all right.
"这真的说得通" 你明白吗 "This just really makes sense," you know?
是啊 Well, m'all right.
不错 Mmm'kay.
是啊 M'all right.
总统先生 你得管管你的 Mister President, you need to do something
千禧后了 about your millennials!
你们想让我做啥 What do you want me to do?
"特伦斯和菲利普"是加拿大最大的输出 Terrance and Phillip are Canada's largest export!
他们占据我国百分之八十的国民生产总值 They account for 80% of our gross national product!
如果你的公民们要搞他们 就是在搞加拿大 If your citizens mess with them, they mess with all of us.
听着 我是美利坚总统 Look, I'm president of the United States.
我没空掺和每件对抗第三世界国家 I can't get involved in every petty little protest
琐碎的小抗议 against a third world country.
第三世界国家 你怎敢说这话 Third world country?! How dare you!
加拿大至少是第二世界国家 Canada is second world at least!
你给我听着 伙计先生 Now, you listen here, Mr. Buddy!
要么你撤销对"特伦斯和菲利普秀"的禁令 Either you stop the embargo on the "Terrance and Phillip show,"
要么我们就出动军队前来制止 or we'll bring in our own troops to stop it ourselves!
你是在威胁我们吗 你个豆豆眼加拿大佬 Are you threatening us, you beady-eyed Canuck?
我只是在告诉你 加拿大会 I'm simply telling you that Canada will do
竭尽全力 保全自己 what it must to protect itself!
那我们双方还是都好好准备一下吧 Then I guess both our countries better be prepared.
后来 我寻找某样东西 And then, you know, I was looking for
来远离大城市 something to get away from the city.
- 我从未当过真正的城里人 - 对啊对啊 - I've never really been a city person. - M'all right. M'all right.
我完全理解 是的 I definitely get that. M'all right.
我喜欢徒步旅行 畅游在大自然里 I like hiking around, being around in nature, m'kay.
我同意 同意 城市太糟糕了 I agree, I agree, the city's bad.
我也喜欢徒步 你最爱的地方有哪些呢 I love hiking, too. What are some of your favorite places?
埃文斯山一直都不错 Well you know Mount Evans is always nice.
对的 是啊 M'all right. M'all right.
那是什么声音 What the hell is that?
像是什么... There's some kind of...
军事警报在响 military alert going out.
各位 是军事警报 All right, military alert everyone.
我们快去走廊 Let's get to the hallways
把学生们带到体育馆 and get the students to the gymnasium.
快点 动起来 Come on. Let's move!
国家警卫来了 It's the National Guard!
国家警卫 The National Guard?!
是总统 他想和你说话 It's the President! He wants to talk to you.
你好 这里是"千禧后反加" Yes, this is Millennials Against Canada.
听着 这件事逐步升级了 Yeah, listen this thing is kind of escalating.
你的人必须叫停 You people need to call it quits.
恐怕不行 总统阁下 We can't do that, Mr. President.
必须有人行侠仗义 Someone has to do what's right!
你到底想要什么 What exactly do you want?
我想要什么 What do I want?!
我想要一个... I want a world...
欢笑不以牺牲他人为代价的世界 where laughter doesn't come at someone else's expense,
人们可以自由地生活 不用担心被屁崩 where people can live freely without fear of being farted on.
我想要一个不会因你有心帮忙却被嘲笑的世界 I want a world where you aren't ridiculed for trying to help!
一个我喜欢的可爱女孩 A world where a nice girl that I liked
不会变成另一个艾瑞克·卡特曼的世界 isn't turned into another Eric Cartman!
加拿大人是那个世界的绊脚石 These Canadians are in the way of that world
他们当下的作为 和他们过去的勾当 and everything they do and everything they have done
都要从地球上抹杀掉 needs to be erased from the Earth!
老天 你把我说硬了 Geez, I got a little chub.
快走 全到体育馆去 快 Let's go! Everyone to the gymnasium now!
听她的 快动起来 You heard her! Move it people!
我得确认所有教室都没人了 I have to make sure all the classrooms are empty.
你去跟孩子们躲着 You go take cover with the kids!
我也要来 I'm coming, too!
我是你的副校长 I'm your Vice Principal!
好吧 快来 All right, come on!
不 怎么了 Oh, no. What's wrong?
副校长女士 我得问你些事 Vice Principal Woman, I need to ask you something.
- 好的 - 这很难开口但是．．． - Okay. - This is very difficult, but, uh...
啥 怎么了 What? What?!
你能看到 Well, as you can see,
我们面前有一扇门 there is a door in front of us.
对 有扇门 Yes, there is.
我愿意为你打开这扇门 I would like to open this door for you,
尽管我知道这可能暗示着 however I understand the gender-based biases
- 性别歧视 - 为什么要你来开门 - that this could imply. - Why do you need to open the door?
我不需要开门 I don't need to open the door.
我只是会打开它 然后抵着它 I'd just be opening it and holding it the same way
为麦基辅导员 为学生或任何人都会这样做 I would for counselor Mackey, a student, or anyone else.
必须得有人来开门 Somebody's going to have to open the door,
不然我们就死了 or we could die out here.
THE SUB-MAN
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