South Park S22 E07 Nobody Got Cereal
《南方公园》 第22季 第7集 无人至肃
I'm goin' down to south park gonna have myself a time.
我到南方公园转一转 享受美好时间
friendly faces everywhere.humble folks without temptation.
黄发垂髫 怡然自乐 到处摆着和善傻脸
I'm goin' down to south park gonna leave my woes behind.
我到南方公园转一转 烦恼丢到天边
ample parking day or night.people spouting howdy neighbor.
阡陌交通 车位俨然 人们嚷着"约吗,约吗!"
I'm heading down to southpark,gonna see if i can't unwind.
我到南方公园转一转 好似做大保健
I like fucking silly bitches and I know my penis likes it.
我爱上无脑矫情妹 我屌也爱矫情妹
so come on down to south park and meet some friends of mine.
所以快到南方公园转一转 会会我的小伙伴
??沙雕字幕组译制
😁沙雕字幕组译制
??翻译：fiufa Dimitri98 A&K
😁翻译：fiufa Dimitri98 A&K
Oh, my Gosh! Oh, honey!
我的天啊 亲爱的
??校对：fiufa 航大小栗旬
😁校对：fiufa 航大小栗旬
亲爱的 我不敢相信你带我来了Jared*
*注：美国著名珠宝品牌
I can't believe you went to Jared!
😁校对：fiufa 航大小栗旬
老婆 这对我俩是个全新的开始
This is a new beginning for us, darling.
??时间轴：中关村老实人
😁时间轴：中关村老实人
I'm just so excited for our future.
我对我们未来的生活很兴奋
Ooooh, yeah! Take that, cop!
噢耶 吃我一枪 条子
You want some, too, sheriff?!
你也想挨上一枪 治安官?
耶 满意了吗?贱人
Yeah! There you go, bitch!
Another dead cop!
又干死一个条子
And another one!
又干掉一个?
Yeah, you want some, too, copper?!
耶啊 你也活得不耐烦了 条子?
试试这个 猪猡!
You want a piece of this, you god damn pigs?!
警官 你得快点放了我们啊
Officer, you have to let us out of here!
时间不多了
We don't have much time!
好了 条子死光了 现在离开这儿吧
Yeah, that's the last cop. Let's get outta here!
警官 听下我们的话吧
Sir, you have to listen to us.
人熊猪是真的!
ManBearPig is real.
Oh, God. Here we go again.
天啊 又来!
"We gotta stop ManBearPig!
”我们要阻止人熊猪“
We gotta take it serious!"
”我们要认真对待这件事“
But we do!
但这是真的!
人熊猪不杀光所有人是不会收手的
ManBearPig is gonna kill everyone, and he is not gonna stop!
Oh, well, then I guess I don't have to do anything about it.
噢 听起来我也无能为力啊
Can you get off your god damn video game for five fuck seconds so we can have a conversation?
你他妈能不能把游戏暂停五秒钟和我们好好谈一下
Where the hell is Al Gore? Why isn't he coming for us?
阿尔 戈尔在哪啊 他为啥不来救我们
斯坦 没人会来救我们的
Nobody's coming for us, Stan.
They think we're murderers.
大家都认为我们是杀人犯
And that's why we have to break out of here ourselves.
所以我们就要靠自己逃出去!
Excuse me, officer?
警察叔叔 打扰一下
Shut up. I don't wanna hear anything about ManBearPig
闭嘴吧 我听够了什么人熊猪
and how we're all doomed.
还有它要毁灭我们的屁话
No, it's not that. It's just...
不 我不是要说那些 我只想说
I noticed you're still riding you're horse all the way back to camp.
我看到你现在还在骑着马往营地赶
对啊 从火车和驿马站又不能传送我的营地那
Yeah. Trains and stagecoaches don't go to my camp.
是的 但是你可以设置成电影模式
No they don't, but... you can use cinematic mode
to make it way easier on yourself.
能让你自己轻松一些
What the hell are you talking about?
你他妈在说什么?!
All right, everyone. I realize a lot of people have died
大家好 我知道最近死了很多人
道路也大多毁了 因为着火之类的事
and most of the roads have been destroyed due to all the fires,
so I'd like to thank you all for coming to tonight's symposium --
所以我很感谢你们能来今晚的座谈会
"When Should I Start to Worry?"
”我何时应该开始忧虑?“
我想让大家公开地讨论
I'd like to make this an open discussion
希望我们能提出更深刻见解
and hope we can all participate in ways that give better insight.
Yes, Mr. Clarkson?
嗯 克拉逊先生
我很肯定有一只人熊猪
I'm pretty sure there's a ManBearPig.
而且我相当确定它吃了我的两个孩子
And I'm fairly certain that he has eaten two of my children
and destroyed our home.
还毁了我们家
我何时应该开始担忧?
When should I start to worry?
That's an excellent question.
这是个很好的问题
我们身边发生的这些伤亡事故中
There's definitely evidence that all the death
确实有些证据是指向人熊猪的
and destruction around us is due to a ManBearPig.
但是没有跟人熊猪完全吻合的证据
But no exact correlation to a ManBearPig.
Definitely not,
确实是这样
and that's why we are all here,
这就是为什么我们在这里要明确这件事
to try to pinpoint when should I start to worry?
”我什么时候应该开始担忧?“
I think that the time to start worrying is coming.
我认为 开始担忧的时刻已经迫在眉睫
I don't know if I believe in ManBearPig or not,
我不确定能不能相信人熊猪的存在
但我能接受开始担忧这事的想法
but I do know that I'm open to the idea of starting to worry.
I think Stephen echoes a lot of our feelings right now.
看来史蒂芬引起了我们许多人的共鸣
愚蠢的凡人们!
Foolish mortals!
Your time is nigh!
你们的大限将至!
Face your end!
面对末日吧
呃 看起来是撒旦来了
Um, it looks like Satan is here.
我现在应该开始担忧吗?
Should I start to worry?
Stan?!
斯坦?
爸 我们是越狱出来的
We broke out of jail, Dad.
Come on. Get outta sight.
进来 别被看见了
Cartman tricked the guard.
卡特曼骗过了守卫
We all ran home to be with our parents.
我们都各自跑回家找父母了
我妈呢
Where's Mom?
Your mom's been out trying to find you a lawyer and a therapist.
你妈出去给你找律师和心理医生去了
We've been doing all we can!
我们一直在尽最大努力
Dad, that thing we saw take Ned --
爸 那天我们看见抓走尼德的那东西
那是人熊猪 它是真实存在的
It was ManBearPig. It was real.
What are you talking about. It was just a bear.
你在胡说什么 那只是只熊啊
不是的 爸 你为啥一直看着电视?
No, Dad! It's --
Why do you keep looking at the TV?
什么 没有啊 我也不知道 咋啦
What? Why? I dunno. What?
You've been playing "Red Dead Redemption"?
你一直在玩荒野大镖客?
只是在处理你那些事的时候忙里偷闲而已
A little bit!
I mean, when I'm not doing all the stuff for you.
I thought you were working on getting me out!
我还以为你会努力救我出来
Sorry! I needed a little break.
对不起 我也需要一点娱乐！
你都到了圣丹尼斯了
You're all the way to Saint Denis?!
That's like 40 hours of gameplay!
这差不多得玩了40个小时吧
你咋能这样？...你现在是不是嗑嗨了?
How could you -- Are you high right now?
I'm a little high, yes!
对 我现在是有点嗨!
我去!
Oh, my God.
噢咋啦?对不起哦!
Oh, what?! I'm sorry!
I'm sorry I needed to decompress with all this shit going on.
真对不起我得在出了这些屁事的时候释放下压力
I can't believe you would get high and play video games while your son is in jail!
我真不敢相信你儿子坐大牢的时候你还在一边抽大麻一边打游戏
You're such an asshole!
你真是个混蛋！
至少我不是校园枪击犯
Well, at least I'm not a school shooter!
那不是我干的! 是人熊猪那个恶魔!
It wasn't me! It was a demon named ManBearPig!
Oh, whatever! "ManBearPig! ManBearPig!"
噢 管他什么"人熊猪""人熊猪"
你听着就跟你那怪胎爷爷差不多
You sound like your freakin' grandpa.
是是是 因为我知道了不少... 不对
Yeah, because I learned a lot about -- Woah, woah.
你说什么 像我爷爷?
What are you talking about, "I sound like grandpa"?
He's been talking about ManBearPig coming since I was fucking 14.
从我他妈14岁的时候他就念叨着人熊猪要来了
都是老一套
It's nothing new.
Someone made a deal with it... a long time ago...
很久之前...某人跟人熊猪做了交易...
你知道怎么制造奎宁水吗?
Do you know how to craft stamina tonics?
注：体力药水
Mom?
妈?
Dad?
爸?
I don't know if you can hear me.
不知道你听不听的见
I feel so alone right now.
我现在感觉好孤独
我感觉整个世界在崩坏
I feel like the whole world is falling apart
我有责任挺身而出
and somehow I'm supposed to do something but...
但却不知道该做什么
I don't know what that is anymore.
Fear not. Do not give up on yourself.
不要恐惧 不要放弃自己
You must keep believing.
你必须坚持相信自己
Mr. Gore?
戈尔先生?
你去哪了?
Where have you been?!
It's me. Al Gore.
是我 阿尔 戈尔
Yeah. Where have you been?!
嗯 你去哪了?
You cannot lose faith, my child.
我的孩子 不能失去信念啊
即使每个人都在挖苦你
Even though everyone is ripping on you.
即使没人相信你
Even though they don't believe you,
and they're saying you're just seeking attention
都说你是哗众取宠
because you lost the presidency,
就因为你总统任期已经过了
you have to be strong.
你要坚强起来
What happened to you?! Are you dead or something?
你这是咋回事?
你是死了升天了还是咋了?
不 我不是死了
No! Not dead!
Just merely using a flashlight on glass
就是拿手电照着玻璃
就能应用出”佩珀幽灵“的效果
*注：佩珀幽灵是约翰 亨利 佩珀设计出的一种光学实验的一个小把戏
to apply the Pepper's ghost technique.
Wait, what?
等下 啥?
该死
Oh, God damn it!
You see my point?
你懂我的意思吗
事情不总是表面看起来的那样
Things aren't always as they appear.
我的小十字军战士 你要一直坚强下去
You have to stay strong, my little crusader.
我一个人做不到的 我需要帮助
I can't do this alone. I need help.
I did, too.
我也是
Didn't get it.
并没有人帮我
你到底还要我做什么？
What more do you want from me?
我已经为我的错赎罪了
I've atoned for my mistake.
很对不起那时候我们的意见很不统一
I'm sorry that we were getting a lot of different information at the time.
You know,
你知道
即使是你预言的很多会发生的事情 也没发生啊
even you were wrong about a lot of the things you said would happen --
你说啥?
What's that?
没有没有 我不是那意思
Nothing. I didn't mean --
再见
See ya later, alligator.
别别别 对不起啊
No, no, no, no! I'm sorry!
求你了 对不起 我认真的
I am sorry, please! I'm cereal!
I didn't mean to say you were wrong,
我不是想说你错了
just that some of your predictions
只是你的有些预测并没有发生
didn't happen
Oh, yeah. You're real cereal.
是是是 你可真认真
Please, please! Please!
求你了 求你了
我愿意做任何事
I'll do anything! I just want everyone to be safe!
我只想让每个人都安全
All I was doing was trying to be your mentor.
我一直以来都想要成为你的导师
你知道我的导师是谁吗?
You know who my mentor was?
Me! Al Gore!
就是我 阿尔 戈尔
Hello, Al Gore.
你好 阿尔 戈尔
就是他 太及时了
It's him! Just in time, too.
阿尔 戈尔 谢谢你在我危机时出现
Thanks for coming in my time of crisis, Al Gore!
Sorry to call you down, sir,
警长 很抱歉把你叫来现场
but this is a bad one.
但这个实在很严重
Oh, no. That's fine.
哎 算了算了
好不容易逮捕了四个校园枪击犯
I finally arrest four school shooters
终于能玩会荒野大镖客
and can play some "Red Dead Redemption,"
and then I get a call about another school shooting.
现在又告诉我又发生一起校园枪击
This one really doesn't look like a school shooting, sir.
长官 这看着实在不太像校园枪击
Five different witnesses say it was definitely... ManBearPig.
五名不同的目击证人都说这确实是人熊猪干的
God damn it!
去他妈的
哪可能会有人熊猪这种东西?你们听见没?
There is no such thing as a ManBearPig, you got that?!
We're working with facts here, not goofball theories!
我们要用事实说话 而不是这种沙雕理论
Yes, but, sir, all the forensic scientists
是的 但是所有的法医都说有熊和猪的脚印
say there are bear and pig footprints --
Fuck scientists!
去他妈的法医!
Why are you trying to figure out what's going on
为啥你们在试图查明真相的时候
非要听信法医的?
with scientists?!
The only thing I want to know is
我只想知道一件事
四个嫌犯还在押 那这件又是谁干的
who committed this school shooting since our school shooting suspects are in jail!
Detective! Detective, we just got word from the station.
警长 刚从警局传来消息
那四个枪击嫌犯就在不久前越狱了
The four shooting suspects broke out a while ago.
Oh, well, there you go!
听见没有!
It was them again!
又是他们
Gee, I didn't need any freakin' scientists to figure that out, did I?
哦 我都不需要这些傻逼法医来调查 对吧?
让他们滚!
Get 'em outta here!
Now how the fuck did those kids break out of my jail?!
所以那几个小兔崽子是怎么逃出去的?!
金肯斯说是他们忽悠了他
Jenkins said they tricked him.
Said they could show him a way to fast travel
说他只要在荒野大镖客里升级营地
in "Red Dead Redemption" by upgrading his camp,
就能快速旅行
然后他们就跑了
and then they just took off.
也就是说只要升级营地就能快速旅行了?
There's a way to fast travel if you upgrade your camp?
Jesus.
我的天
你最好给我仔细讲讲
You better start from the beginning.
More damage and destruction today
今天发生了更多伤亡和损失
as the death toll rises to the hundreds.
死亡人数上升到三位数
Some see this as evidence ManBearPig might be real,
一些人认为这就是人熊猪可能真实存在的证据
while others say ManBearPig is a fabrication for political gains --
另一些人则说人熊猪是出于政治目的而杜撰的
Grandpa?!
爷爷!
What did you do?
你都干了些啥!?
Oh, Billy.
噢 比利
我的小孙子来看我了!
My grandson come to visit!
This isn't the first time ManBearPig has shown up, is it?
人熊猪不是第一次出现了 对吗?
发生了什么?
What happened?
比利 我有老年痴呆
Billy, I have Alzheimer's.
I don't even remember what happened this morning.
我连早上发生的事都记不太清
爷爷 别在这东拉西扯了
Cut the s**t, Grandpa.
你们都知道吧
You people knew.
You made a deal with that thing.
你们跟那东西有交易
We thought we'd be dead by now!
我们原以为这时候我们都已经不在了
We didn't think we'd have to live to see the consequences!
我们根本想不到能活到报应到来的时候
Aw, great! Just tell the whole world, Margret!
行啊 玛格丽特 你咋不让全世界都知道呢
Why did you old people make a deal?!
你们为啥要跟它交易
我们也有享乐的权利 知道吗
We had a right to be happy, too, ya know!
And you just signed away the future?!
所以你们就出卖了未来?
We didn't want to have to give the demon his stuff back!
因为我们不想把恶魔的东西还给它
What stuff?!
什么东西?
All our cars.
我们所有的车
还有顶级品质的冰淇淋
And premium boutique ice cream.
You couldn't control yourselves
就是因为你们没有自制力
所以现在那玩意在外面大开杀戒
so now that thing is here to kill all of us!
爷爷 您干的可真TM好啊
Good [bleep] job, grandpa!
Kyle, come on, we've got to go.
凯尔 快 我们得走了
Go where?
去哪?
I had a vision, Kyle.
我出现幻觉了
Al Gore's ghost visited me.
阿尔 戈尔的鬼魂去找我了
阿尔 戈尔根本没死
Al Gore isn't dead.
好吧 凯尔 但他的鬼魂找到我了
Well, his ghost came to me, Kyle.
He said he had a plan, and we need to go.
他说他有个计划 我们必须出发
Are you in or not?
你到底来不来?
Yeah, you are in or not?
对 你来不来?
We shouldn't be out here!
我们就不应该出来
We're wanted by the police.
我们是通缉犯
嘘 嘘 那是啥声音?
Shhh. What was that?
Sounds like another manbearpig
听起来像另一只人熊猪
This is where Al Gore told me to go.
这就是阿尔 戈尔让我们来的地方
I can fucking hear it!
卧槽我听到了
It's Satan!
是撒旦！
撒旦 你在这儿干嘛?
What are you doing here, Satan?
I was told to come here by the spirit of Al Gore.
是阿尔 戈尔的灵魂让我到此的
我们也是 但是为啥?
Us, too. But why?
Remember...
要记住~
even though I am gone, you must still work together.
就算我不在了 你们仍要团结起来努力行动
Work together how?
怎么个团结法?
我没跟你说话
I'm not talking to you.
我是在跟那些真正认真的人说话
I'm talking to the ones who are actually cereal.
You cannot lose hope.
你们不能失去希望
你们还有许多事情需要知道
There is still much you need to know.
Oh, you'd better not...
你最好别...
You bitch!
你这贱人!
You're playing Red Dead Redemption aren't you?
你是不是在玩荒野大镖客
So? What of it?
所以?你想怎样?
麦琪 我怎么跟你说的?又玩我的存档?
What did I tell you about playing on my save game, Maggie?
不!这是我自己的存档 哈里森 耶茨
No. No. This is my life, now, Harrison Yates.
I started over, with me own save game.
我重新开始了 重开了我自己的存档
What are you talking about?
你什么意思?
你自己看吧
See for yourself.
你还有你那些“想要自己的生活”的屁话
You and all your talk of wanting your own life.
I wanted something new, too!
我也是同样想的
我也在大雪那里重新开始
I started over in the snow,
一直自己奋斗当上新的帮派首领
and worked my way up to the new gang leader!
我自己存了几千刀
I have thousands of dollars of me own.
我和约翰 马斯顿一起盖了房子
I built a house with John Marston.
I'm helping his family, now.
我现在在帮助他的家庭！
You fucking slut!
你真是个贱人！
That's right, Harrison Yates.
对啊怎么了 哈里森 耶茨
And what have you got?
你又有什么？
一匹最基础的新手马
A basic starter horse
and the $20 gambler's hat you won in a poker match.
打扑克赢的就值二十刀的赌徒帽
I'm twice the man you are, now!
现在我的人手是你的两倍
你竟敢这样跟我说话!
Don't you talk to me like that!
我想怎样说就怎样!
I'll talk however I want!
我做完了所有打猎任务
I've completed every hunting side mission,
找到了七个传奇动物
found seven legendary animals.
你找到了它们，在哪！
Found them where?
I'm not telling.
我才不说
你想要你自己的生活是吧 现在你如愿了!
You wanted your own life, and now, you got it!
Maggie!
麦琪！
And in conclusion, let me just say that you are the future.
总而言之 你们就是未来
You cannot give up hope.
你们不能失去希望
我把你们聚在一起 是因为我相信你们
I brought you all together because I believe in you.
Okay, but what do you want us to --
好的 但是你想让我们...
And sometimes, believing is all that we need to be cereal.
我们有时需认真对待的一切只是信任本身
导演：阿尔 戈尔
主演：阿尔 戈尔
制片人：阿尔 戈尔
制作人员(按出场顺序)
Credits?
怎么还有演职员表?
Did you guys like my movie?
伙计们 你们喜欢我的电影吗
What are you doing?
你在干什么？
Exactly. I'm trying to get you to ask,
没错 我试着让你们发问
阿尔戈尔会怎么做
"What would Al Gore do?"
Make a movie starring you.
那就是拍一部饰演自己的电影
是的 以此来鼓励你们不要放弃
Yes -- to get you all to not give up.
鼓励你们去战斗
To get you to fight!
You don't understand. There is no fight.
你不明白 已经没有战斗了
有人做了一笔交易 我们连是谁做的都不知道
A deal was made. We do not know by whom.
但这个恶魔已经强大起来了
But this demon has grown stronger,
没有凡人能够阻止它了
and no mortal can do anything to stop it.
没有凡人 那你呢
No mortal, but what about you?
我为什么要帮助人类
Why would I help mankind?
撒旦 得了吧
Satan, come on.
Are you really gonna stand there and not say you appreciate
你真的就站在那儿袖手旁观
也不为人类最近为你做的好事表示感谢吗?
all the nice things humans have done for you lately?
我是说 我不知道你有没有注意到
I mean, not sure if you've noticed,
但我们这儿的处事方式就和你那一样啊
but we're pretty much doing things your way up here.
I... must admit, people up here on Earth
我必须承认地球上的人们
have been doing a lot of my work for me lately.
最近做了很多我的工作
也许 也许是时候我该为他们做点事情了
Maybe... maybe it is time I did something for them.
We were all young and foolish back then, Billy.
那时候我们都年轻又愚蠢 比利
We didn't think about the future.
我们没有考虑未来
We just wanted things.
我们只是想要东西
这个生物出现了
This creature shows up and,
it seemed like a good deal, for everyone in town.
给镇上的每一个人都提供了笔看上去不错的交易
你们没有停下来想想这对于我们意味着什么
You didn't stop to think about what it would mean for us?
哦 比利 这可没那么简单
Ah, Billy, it's not that simple.
We thought about it. But our town was so tiny back then.
我们考虑过这个 但是当时我们镇太小了
We just -- We wanted nice things other people had.
我们只是想要其他人有的好东西
然后你根本没有想
And you didn't give two shits
这会给你的子子孙孙带来什么后果
what it would mean for your grandchildren.
我当时压根没想到我会有孙子
I didn't think I'd have grandkids.
I didn't even want children
我当时连孩子都不想要
这就是为什么我总是射在你奶奶的乳房上
That's why I always came on Gram Gram's tits.
But then, one night, I'm having sex with your grandma,
但是之后那晚 我在和你奶奶做爱的时候
她用手指后入了我
and she sticks her finger in my ass.
她以前也玩过毒龙
She had sometimes licked my ass before,
但这是她第一次指奸我
but this was the first time she used her finger,
所以我就中出了她
and I came inside her like that.
我拔出来以后你奶奶问我
I pulld out, and your grandma was like,
"Did you just come in me?"
你刚才内射我了吗
然后我说 谁让你用手指操我屁眼
And I was like "Well, you stick your finger in my ass
这就是为啥你会在这
And that's basically why you're here, Billy.
This is supposed to make me feel better?
这是想让我感觉好点吗
I'm just saying that I wasn't thinking about the future
我只是在说我没考虑过未来
because your father was supposed to be nothing but dried up crust on Gram Gram's titties.
因为你爹本应是你奶奶的乳房上风干的精斑
你们和人熊猪做交易
You people made a deal with ManBearPig.
怎么交易的 在哪里?
How? Where?
It doesn't matter, Billy. It's too late now.
这已经无关紧要了 比利 现在已经太迟了
Tell me how the deal happened,
告诉我交易到底是怎么进行的
这样我才能想办法赶走人熊猪
so that I can try to make it go away.
No! No!!
不要 不要
ManBearPig!
人熊猪
Ruaaaaaaaaa
Satan!
撒旦
H-Hey. Hey kids
嘿 嘿 孩子们
I'm sorry.
我很抱歉
不 撒旦 你不能死
No. Satan, you can't die.
人固有一死
Everyone dies.
我只是希望我本来能帮上忙
I just wish I could have helped you.
Oh, God. It hurts.
哦上帝呀 真疼
We can't do this without you Satan.
没有你我们干不了这事 撒旦
你们必须走下去 你们必须不断努力
You have to. You have to keep trying.
If you can't stop ManBearPig, how can we be --
如果连你不能阻止人熊猪 我们又怎么做得到
You have to keep trying!
你们必须不断努力
You... have to believe.
你们必须相信
No..
不要..
Satan's dead.
撒旦死了
Come back. Come back.
回来 快回来啊
Goodbye.
再见了
Dude, this is pretty fuck up right here.
老兄 现在这叫什么事啊
And now on Park County Cable Access,
现在切回帕克县有线电视频道
"Should We Start to Worry?" with your host Jim Kimble.
和主持人吉姆·金布尔一起继续节目 "我们应该开始忧虑吗"
当我们的镇子被夷为平地
As our town continues to burn to the ground,
Satan has been slaughtered and sent to heaven.
撒旦被无情地屠戮而上了天堂
Should we start to worry?
我们应该开始忧虑吗
Joining me now, an expert on our county resources and preparedness, Alec Vaughn.
现在演播室的嘉宾是我县的资源和战备专家Alec Van
Alec, should we start to worry?
Alec 我们应该开始忧虑吗
Jim, I think we should definitely consider
吉姆 我觉得我们当然应该考虑
开始忧虑了
starting to worry.
撒旦是最强大的存在之一
Satan was one of the most powerful entities,
按理说 在宇宙范围也是如此
supposedly, in the universe,
and ManBearPig annihilated him like a bitch.
然而人熊猪毁灭了他 就像干死一条母狗一样
I don't think we should waste any more time
我们不应该再浪费时间
underestimating the importance of beginning to think about starting to worry.
低估开始思考开始担忧的重要性了
Also joining us is the former Vice President, Al Gore.
一起来到演播室的还有前副总统，阿尔戈尔
Mr. Gore, do you believe it's time for us to deliberate
戈尔先生，你是否相信我们应该
the process of starting to worry?
权衡开始担忧的过程？
If by worrying, you mean getting cereal,
如果你所说的担忧指的是认真对待这事
那么我就斩钉截铁地告诉你 “是”
then an emphatic "yes!"
I don't think there's any more room for not considering underestimating the importance
我不觉得还有空间来不考虑低估
of beginning to start the process of mulling over
开始认真考虑重新定义“开始担忧”
这一过程的重要性了
the conceptualization of starting to worry.
And the time to do it is... very soon.
而且越快越好
Hey, what are you doing?
嘿 你在干什么
I'm being a spiritual mentor.
我在做精神导师
这些人都在依靠我
These people are depending on me.
No, they're depending on me!
不 他们在依靠我
I'm depending on you, goofball!
而我在依靠你 蠢货
All right, looks like we're clear.
好 看样子我们安全了
I can't believe it's the weekend, and I'm at school!
我不敢相信都周末了我还在学校!
This is the best place to hide.
这里是最好的藏身处
Why? Of all the places we could hide,
为啥? 明明有那么多能躲的地方
why do I have to sit here in school?
为什么我们非得呆在这学校里
Yeah!
就是
Where's the last place anyone would think we would hide?
在别人眼中我们最不可能藏身的地方是哪里?
The scene of our supposed crime, dummies! We're safe here.
当然是那些人眼中我们犯罪的地方 蠢货 我们在这很安全
I'd rather be in jail than in school.
我宁可蹲大牢也不会呆在学校
Oh shit!
哦！ 艹
Guys? Guys!
伙计们 伙计们
斯坦
Stan!
Guys, thank God! Just stay right there, Grandpa!
伙计们 感谢上帝 好好呆在那儿 爷爷
我搞清楚那场交易了 我知道到我们应该怎么办了
I know all about the deal. I know what we have to do.
你们是怎么找到我们的
How'd you find us here?
I figured you guys were hiding somewhere.
我在想你们会躲在哪里
这是我第一个想到的地方
This is the first place I thought to look.
Yeah, I guess we're dummies, huh, Kenny?
是 我猜我们是蠢货 不是吗 肯尼
Yeah, I guess we're dummies.
是啊 我猜我们确实是蠢货
Guys, listen -- My stupid grandpa
伙计们听着 我的傻叉爷爷
and a bunch of other old people made the deal with ManBearPig.
还有一大帮其他老年人跟人熊猪做了一笔交易
正是他们的贪婪让人熊猪出现在这里
It's here because of their greediness.
Everyone's greedy!
没人是不贪婪的!
闭嘴 爷爷
Shut up, Grandpa!
I know where to go, but I need your help.
我知道要去哪里 但是我需要你们的帮助
我会去面对人熊猪 终结这场交易
I'm going to face ManBearPig and put an end to this deal.
Are you crazy? We just saw ManBearPig take down Satan.
你疯了吗 我们刚刚看着人熊猪干掉了撒旦
你觉得我们他娘的还能怎么对抗它
What the hell are we supposed to do against it?
我们总得试试
We have to try.
Attention school shooters... again.
注意 校园枪手们 这是第二次了
We have you surrounded... again.
我们又把你们包围了
举起手然后走出来
Come out with your hands up!
我们躲在学校什么用都没有
We just sat in school for nothing.
Listen! We know what to do now!
听着 我们知道应该做什么了
Drop to the ground and put your hands on your heads.
趴在地上 双手抱头
不 我要去找人熊猪
No, I need to face ManBearPig.
We have orders! You're coming with us!
我们有令在身 你们必须跟我们走
Belay those orders!
暂缓命令
I've been a fool denying ManBearPig's existence,
一直否认人熊猪的存在的我就是个傻瓜
and I didn't realize it till I went home.
我直到回家才意识到了这一点
我妻子过上了没有我的新生活
My wife... had started a new life without me.
我想过放弃这一切
I wanted to give up,
but instead, I robbed a bank in Saint Denis,
但相反 我抢劫了圣丹尼斯的一家银行
然后去了古巴北面的一个小岛
and I went to an island north of Cuba.
After I came back, that's when it all caught up with me.
我回来之后回想起这一切
所有那些我抢劫的驿马车
All the stagecoaches I had robbed,
所有那些我偷的马 究竟为的是什么
all the horses I had stole -- for what?!
We're nothing if we don't believe in each other!
如果我们不相信彼此 我们就什么都不是
天杀的 亡羊补牢为时不晚
And God damn it, it's never too late to start trying to do the right thing.
你认为你知道那玩意的底细么 孩子
You think you know what that is boys?
是的 我知道
Yes, I do.
We're going to face ManBearPig
我们会直面人熊猪
永远结束这场交易
and put an end to this deal once and for all.
Okay, sign here... and here.
好的 在这里和这里签名
These documents state merely that you've been granted power of attorney by your town
这些文件仅仅声明了你们被镇子授予了代理权
and that you wish to attempt to void the current agreement.
并且你们希望尝试取消现在的协议
好的
Kay...
Since this is a renegotiation,
鉴于这是重新谈判
你们同意人熊猪有因协议终止而获得补偿的权利
you agree that ManBearPig has right to compensation for termination,
and you will give up all rights to specified assets.
并且你们放弃所有指定财产的所有权
Yes. Yes, we agree to give back cars and ice cream.
是的 是的 我们同意归还汽车和冰淇淋
Uh, let me confer with my client.
嗯 让我和我的客户商量一下
Uh-huh. Got it. Yes.
嗯 明白了 是的
我的客户说他
My client says that he --
Kay. Uh, mm-hmm.
好 嗯
ManBearPig has no interest in you giving up cars and ice cream.
人熊猪对于你们放弃汽车和冰淇淋没有兴趣
Well, what's he want everyone to give up?
那他想让大家放弃什么
There! There he is! There he is!
那儿 他在那儿 他在那儿
Is it over?!
结束了吗
他说他永远不会再回来了 但是
Um, he says he'll never come back again, but...
我们必须放弃酱油和荒野大镖客2
we have to give up soy sauce and Red Dead Redemption 2.
Ohhhh!
噢
Just plain rice?
只是干吃米饭?
Yeah, that's what I thought.
对 我想就是这样
Um, could we possibly talk about restructuring a new deal?
嗯 我们可以重新商讨一笔新的交易吗
Uh-huh! Uh-huh!
嗯哼 嗯哼
No. No. Just, like, can we do, like, a renegotiation?
不 不 意思是 我们能不能 重新谈判呢
好的 在这里和这里签名
All right, sign here and here
表明你们在同人熊猪进行重新谈判
that you are entering a renegotiation with ManBearPig.
我在哪里签名 就在这里
- Where do I sign that? - Right there.
好的 是啊 我看就这样了
- Okay. - Yeah, I thought so.
闭嘴 爷爷
Shut up, Grandpa.
And sign here that ManBearPig has rights
在这里签名表明所有第三世界国家孩子的生命
都将为人熊猪所有
to the lives of all children in third world countries.
Kay, got it.
好的 明白了
And you agree to ignore ManBearPig until he returns in five years,
同时在五年后人熊猪回来之前 你们必须无视其存在
而届时杀戮将有数以千计
in which time the carnage will be a thousand fold.
Kay, where do I sign that?
好的 我在哪里签名
Your time is nigh! Face your end!
Um, it looks like Satan is here.
Should I start to worry?
[ Scattered applause ]