South Park S22 E08 Buddha Box
《南方公园》第22季 第8集 佛系盒
I'm goin' down to south park gonna have myself a time.
我到南方公园转一转 享受美好时间
friendly faces everywhere.humble folks without temptation.
黄发垂髫 怡然自乐 到处摆着和善傻脸
I'm goin' down to south park gonna leave my woes behind.
我到南方公园转一转 烦恼丢到天边
ample parking day or night.people spouting howdy neighbor.
阡陌交通 车位俨然 人们嚷着"约吗,约吗!"
I'm heading down to southpark,gonna see if i can't unwind.
我到南方公园转一转 好似做大保健
I like fucking silly bitches and I know my penis likes it.
我爱上无脑矫情妹 我屌也爱矫情妹
so come on down to south park and meet some friends of mine.
所以快到南方公园转一转 会会我的小伙伴
??沙雕字幕组译制
😁沙雕字幕组译制
So much has happened.
最近发生了太多事情
??翻译：fiufa Dimitri98 A&K
😁翻译：fiufa Dimitri98 A&K
I don't know where to start.
我都不知道该从何说起
??校对：fiufa 熊熊 航大小栗旬
😁校对：fiufa 熊熊 航大小栗旬
First it was all the school shootings.
先是校园枪击案
Then these Wi-Fi scooters showed up.
然后是共享滑板车的出现
??时间轴：中关村老实人
😁时间轴：中关村老实人
And now we know that ManBearPig is real
现在我们知道人熊猪也是真的
and we could all be deadin a matter of years.
我们被它杀掉也只是时间问题
And you believe... this all relates somehow to the movie "Black Panther"
所以你相信所有这些都与《黑豹》这个电影有某种联系？
not being as good as everyone says it was?
因为它实际上没有大家说的的那么好
I know there's a connection,
我知道一定有某种联系
but that isn't what matters.
但这不是重点
I can't deal with people any more.
我感觉无法跟人们相处了
It's just, everyone sucks so hard, you know?
感觉就是...每个人都low爆了
Everybody is so stupid.
大家都太傻逼了
And they all walk around going, "Way aya ayay blarhghg."
走来走去叫着“yayayayayaya”
And the only thing that makes me happy,
唯一能让我开心
the only thing I can trust,
唯一能让我信任的
is this.
只有它
But all people do is try to keep me from it.
但是仿佛所有人都想让我远离它
I'll be in my room,
当我在房间里玩手机
and my mom will come in and say, "Eric, that's enough time on your phone."
我妈就会进来说“埃瑞克 你玩手机太久了!”
And then at school...
当我在学校时
"Eric, what are you doing?
“埃瑞克 你在干嘛！
You can't use your phone at school!"
在学校不能玩手机！”
And even my friends. My own friends, they'll be like,
甚至我的朋友们 他们会说
"Hey, Cartman, throw us the ball. You're the Goddamn quarterback."
“埃瑞克 球扔过来啊 你TMD的是四分卫啊!”
It's like everybody needs something from me.
感觉就像所有人都在向我索取
All I want is a little time with my phone
我只想安安静静地玩手机
instead of always listening to people's needy bullshit.
而不是去听别人的屁话
Oh, uh, sorry. Just --
呃...抱歉
Uh, well, you know,
好吧 你也是知道的
young people have to deal with so much today.
如今年轻人需要应对太多的问题
I believe that what you have is anxiety.
我认为你患有焦虑症
Anxiety? Is that cool?
焦虑症 这正常吗？
It's pretty commonthese days.
当前还是挺常见的
What it really is more than anything
最重要的是它可以成为一个
is an excuse to be lazy and lame to everyone around you.
你对身边的人消极回应的借口
Oh, my God.That's perfect.
我的天哪 简直完美
I'm busy.
我在忙
Mr. Principal.
PC校长
I'm busy doing stuff!
我忙着手头的事呢!
What?!
啥事？
The vice principal needs to speak with you.
副校长有事要跟您说
She says it's urgent.
她说很紧急
Oh, PC Principal.
PC校长!
Uh, y-yes?
怎 怎么了？
Are you going in to see the vice principal?
你是来找副校长的吗
I really need to speak with her.
我是真有事要跟她说
Uh, yeah. We're just, uh --
呃...行 我们只是...
We're having an important scheduling to go over.
我们有一个重要的日程安排要仔细讨论一下
Everything is okay with you two?
你们俩之间没什么问题吧？
There's no more inappropriate behavior?
再没有什么不适宜的行为了吧?
You know, as a counselor, I'm here to --
你明白 作为辅导员 我得...
That's in the past, Mackey.
麦基 那已经过去了!
We've paid our dues, and we're not hiding anything anymore.
我们都付出了代价 不会再隐瞒什么了
Mkay.
好吧
I could use a little help here!
过来搭把手啊！
What's going on?
这是怎么回事？
Riley said a word that her sister felt was insensitive to Muslims.
蕾莉说了个词 她的姐姐觉得这是对穆斯林麻木不仁
Now they're all upset.
现在他们全都哭闹起来了
All right. What word did you use, Riley?
好吧蕾莉 你说了什么词?
She just said, "Aba daba."
她就说了个"Aba daba"
注："Aba"和"Daba"都是常见的穆斯林名字，它们往往被用于指代男性穆斯林
Look, can't we put them in a daycare?
你看 我们不能把他们送去日托么？
Oh, yeah. That would be really smart.
是是是 真是睿智
If anybody sees them,
要是有人看到他们
就会发现你是他们的父亲
they're gonna figure out you're the father.
Well, maybe they won't.
或许不会呢
You wanna risk that?
你想冒这个险?
The babies have to stay hidden
宝宝们必须得藏起来
because if people know the truth,
一旦人们知道真相
then you're not PC, and I'm not strong!
那你就称不上政确 而我也不配叫女强人了
Alright, can I take your order?
好啦 您想点些什么呢?
Excuse me.
打扰一下
What would you like, sir?
先生 你想要点些什么呢?
Just a God--Can you wait?
我草...你就不能等着
Isn't that your job?
这不是你的工作吗?
Aren't you a wait-er?!
你不是"等待者"吗?
Hey, could you turn your phone down, kid? This is a restaurant.
小孩 你能不能把声音调小点? 这里是餐厅
It just so happens I have anxiety.
那可真巧 我有焦虑症
That means I have trouble
意味着我根本无法和这些喜欢烦我的傻逼们相处!
being around assholes who won't leave me alone!
Oh, hello, Eric.
哦 埃瑞克 你好啊
Shut up. I have anxiety.
闭嘴 我烦着呢
Hey, kid!
哎 那孩子!
嘿 那孩子!
Hey, kid!
I'm on my phone!
我在玩手机呢!
You're about to get hit by a car.
你要被车撞到了
All right, that's it!
行了行了 我受够了
Everyone stop! Just fucking stop right now!
所有人 都他妈马上给我停下!
Listen up, people! I have anxiety!
你们听着 我有焦虑症
That means I'm in my shell
意思就是我很自闭 不善于表达自我
and have a hard time expressing myself.
I find it difficult to engage with others!
跟外界接触对我来说很困难
So everyone shut the fuck up,
所以你们每个人都TM闭嘴
because my anxiety is up here right now!
因为我的焦虑症现在发作了!
We live in a world of many distractions.
我们生活在一个充满杂念的世界里
It's hard to find peace.
很难寻觅平静
In the hustle and bustle of modern times,
现代生活的忙碌和喧嚣中
we've lost the one thing we all need.
我们都失去了一件必需品
More quality one-on-one time... with our phone.
更美好的与手机共处的时光
But now you can have it with Buddha Box.
但是现在有了佛系盒你就可以找回这一时光
Simply fit the patented box on your head
只需把我们的专利产品套在头上
and set its Bluetooth to your mobile device.
然后与你移动设备的蓝牙配对
Inside Buddha Box,
在佛系盒里 手机屏幕会在面前2英寸的地方显示
前置4K屏幕
your phone is projected two inches from your face,
蜂窝天线
and the noise-canceling headphones
并且降噪耳机会隔绝一切外音 只留下手机声
降噪耳机
let you hear your phone without any outside noise,
giving you peace from...
给予您平静 让您免遭
that annoying Uber driver who wants to talk,
说个不停的烦人优步司机
those people at work who act like they need stuff.
上班时装作需要东西的人
I want to be enlightened like the Buddha,
我想要像佛陀一样开明随和
but I've got these [bleep] kids.
但我有一群烦人的熊孩子
Let Buddha Box take you to a place of peace and serenity
让佛系盒带您去个安静美好的地方吧
where you can have quality, uninterrupted time
在那您可以拥有美妙不受打扰地玩手机的时光
with your phone.
I was stressed outand feeling anxious.
我的压力太大 总感到忧虑
After just 8 to 10 hours in Buddha Box,
使用佛盒八到十个小时之后
I feel refreshed and ready to take on anything.
我感到焕然一新 准备好迎接任何挑战
Babe, can you please come say hi to my mother while she's here?
亲爱的 我妈妈在这里 你能不能来问个好？
Order Buddha Box today,
现在就订购佛盒
and you too can have that quiet, quality time with your phone.
你也能和你的手机享受安静美好的时光
Like the Buddha.
像佛陀一样
What the hellis that?
这TM 是个什么玩意儿？
I think it's Cartman.
我觉得是卡特曼
What is it doing?
他在干什么
Ha! That's so sweet!
哈 真好玩！
这视频真的太搞笑了
That video seriously makes me laugh!
Lemme check my e-mail again!
让我再看一下邮箱
Oh, man, nothing from Lorenzyet? Whatever, weak.
噢我去 洛伦兹还没给我发？算了无所谓
Oh, I gotta see that postfrom Clyde again!
对了 我要再看一遍克莱德发的贴
Dude.
老兄！
Dude! What the hell are you doing?!
老兄 我去 你TMD在干嘛呢
-What? What? Who's that?
啥？这是谁？
-Get off of me!
离我远点！
Oh, sorry, Craig. Didn't see you there.
噢 对不起克雷格 刚才没看见你
Yeah, 'cause you got a stupid box on your head.
是啊 因为你头上戴了个傻逼盒子
Oh, there's nothing stupid about it.
这一点也不愚蠢
Don't you wish you had a way to deal with your anxiety?
难道你不想找个办法解决你的焦虑症吗？
My anxiety?
我的焦虑症？
I see it in you, Craig.
克雷格 我看得出来
With your parents and relationships.
父母的约束啊 情感关系啊
Imagine being able to shut them out for a little while, Craig,
克雷格 想象一下你能暂时屏蔽掉这些
so you can focus on what matters.
把注意力放在真正重要的事上
With Buddha Box, you can cut out all the unwanted noise.
用上佛系盒 你就可以隔绝一切多余的噪音
Not have to deal with conversations that are of no interest to you.
不用应付那些你没有兴趣的交流了
Well, I have to admit,
好吧 我得承认
sometimes when me and Tweek are together,
有时候 和特维克在一起
it's -- it's like he wants my atten--
感觉他一直想吸引我的注...
All right, children,
你们好 孩子们
we have a lot to go over for today's quiz.
今天的测验还有很多没完成
Who can tell me where we left off?
谁来告诉我上次讲到哪了
Eric.
埃瑞克！
Eric Cartman.
埃瑞克 卡特曼！
$34 million box office?
3400万美元的票房！
How the hell does "Creed II" do $34 million opening weekend?
《奎迪2》是怎么做到首周3400万刀的？
What's the weather like tomorrow?
明天天气怎么样？
Oh, it's snowing? I gotta tell Lorenz. I --
噢会下雪？我得告诉洛伦兹 我...
Whoa, whoa! Hey!
哇 哇 喂！
What do you think you're doing?
你知道自己在干什么吗？
Excuse me. That's my Buddha Box.
对不起 这是我的佛系盒
You aren't using this during class time.
上课的时候不许用这个
It relaxes me. Ask my therapist.
它能让我放松身心 不信你问我的心理医生
I have anxiety, you dumb bitch.
我有焦虑症 你个蠢贱人
I don't know what makes you think
我不知道是什么让你这么膨胀
you're different from everyone else,
but nobody gets away with slandering teachers
但是在这里 没人能逃脱辱骂老师的处罚！
at this school!
Aw, man.That looks so sweet.
噢 老兄 这个看着很棒
Hey.
喂！
Hey!
喂！
Oh. PC Principal. Hello.
噢 你好啊 PC校长
Just what do you think you're doing?
我就问你 你知道自己在做什么吗
I'm letting go of stress and being calm, like the Buddha.
我在释放压力 放松身心 就像佛陀一样
There are no boxes on your head in school.
在学校不准往头上戴盒子！
Hey. Whoa, man. What's going on?
喂 老兄 你这是怎么了？
Are you suffering from anxiety?
你也在为焦虑苦恼吗？
What are you talking about?
你在说什么？
It's okay. I have it, too.
没关系 我跟你一样
Anxiety is very real.
焦虑症是很严重
But there is help for people like us.
但有东西对我们这样的人有帮助
What the fuck are you doing?
你他妈在干什么？
Hey! What the fuck are you doing?!
喂！你他妈在干什么？
Oh, hey. I just needed to answer a couple e-mails really fast.
哦 嗨 我就回几封邮件 很快的
With a box on your head?
你发邮件还得头上戴个盒子发？
I got one for you, too.
我也给你买了一个
It's Buddha Box.
这叫佛系盒
Look, you and I have been having a lot of problems.
听着 我们之间是存在许多问题
Clearly what we both need
显然我们都需要的是
is more quality, one-on-one time with our phones.
更多更好与手机的独处时间
I don't need a box on my head to use the phone.
我玩手机可不用头上戴着个盒子玩
I'm sorry! I was trying to be helpful!
我很抱歉 我只是想帮忙！
All right, Riley, give that back to your brother.
行了蕾莉 把那个还给你弟弟
Bailey, no.
贝利 别那样
Harper, don't --Harp-er!
哈珀 别 小哈珀
♪ PC Babies
政确宝宝 来你镇上
♪ They're comin' to your town
♪ PC Babies
政确宝宝 吵闹乱逛
♪ The wokest kids around
♪ When there's something problematic ♪
一有政确问题 就会让你知道
♪ They're gonna let you know
♪ Making things fun and gender neutral ♪
让世界欢笑 让性别平等
♪ Everywhere they go
他们无处不在
他们是大家的最爱
♪ They're everybody's fave-sies ♪
♪ They're PC Babies, yeah
政确宝宝来啦 耶
Hey, Mike, what's that you're drinking?
嘿 麦克 你喝的什么
This? Oh.It's a Cosmopolitan.
哦 是大都会鸡尾酒
I know, I know. It's a pussy drink.
我知道 是娘娘腔喝的饮料
Hey, be careful, guys.
嘿 老哥们注意
There's some PC Babies over there.
政确宝宝在那
Oh, great.
哦 好家伙
Come on, I didn't mean pussy drink as in female genitalia.
拜托 我是说娘娘腔饮料 没有侮辱女性的意思
Okay, I'm sorry!
好吧 我道歉
I'll order a Black Russian!
我会点一杯黑俄鸡尾酒
Hey, what's all that racket down there?
嘿 那边在吵什么
Oh, there's some PC Babies upset about certain drink descriptions.
是政确宝宝对某饮料描述感到烦乱
Fine. We'll take them off the menu.
呃好吧 我们会将它下架
Who's makin' a difference? Who's the future?
谁做出改变 谁又是未来？
Here it comes! Block it!
球来了！ 挡住！
What the fuck, dude?!
你TM在干嘛
What is your Goddamn problem?!
你丫什么毛病
What's going on?
怎么了
They just scored again, you fat fuck!
他们又进球了 死胖子
Oh, I'm sorry!
哦 我很抱歉！
I'm sorry I'm dealing with my anxiety!
对不起 我在缓解我的焦虑！
Do you know how hard it is for people with my condition
你知道陷入我这种境遇的人
to come out and even do things like this?
能走出来甚至来踢球有多难吗
Living with anxiety is awful, huh, Craig?
焦虑的生活太糟了 啊 克雷格？
Can we get another goalie, please?
我们能换个守门员吗
Oh, yeah! Sure!
哦 当然
Yeah, because people with anxiety
因为有焦虑症的人
shouldn't be allowed to play sports, right, Kyle?
不允许参加运动项目 是吗 凯尔？
You know, our world is dark and scary enough
你知道 我们的世界够黑暗可怕的了
without people like you making us feel inferior.
何况还有你这样的人让我们感到自卑
Asshole.
混蛋
fuck this!
淦！
My parents didn't come here to watch their son lose
我父母才不是来看我输二十个球的
by 20 points!
Come on, Dad. Let's go!
来 爸 我们走吧
Dad?
爸？
River?
蕾利 贝利 埃默里？
Bailey?
Emory?!
It's okay.We're gonna find them.
没事 我们会找到他们的
I can't believe you were on your phone.
我不敢相信你当时在玩手机
You were on your phone, too.
你当时也在玩手机！
It was my time to be on the phone.
那是我玩手机的时间
You were on your sall morning!
你玩了一早上了
-You're seriously gonna make this all my fault. -Yes!
你真要把错都归结于我？ 没错
Because last I checked, you didn't even want me around
因为上次我去确认的时候 你甚至不让我
as a partner to the PC Babies,even though I --
以政确宝宝的保姆身份靠近他们 即使我
Oh, God! I'm not doing this again.
哦上帝 我可不想再吵了
Even though you need me to do shit for you every 10 fuck minutes.
即使你每十分钟就要我给你做这蠢事
You don't get to just say whatever you --
你不能只是说...
Oh. Okay, cool. Fine with me.
哦 好 很好 我怎么样都可以
I'm the one who has a fucking problem on their fucking phone.
我他妈就是那个玩手机都会被挑刺的人
You know, usually ,I'm afraid to tell you
你知道 通常 我不敢告诉你我是怎么想的
但你想知道什么吗？
what I really think, but you wanna know something?
You wanna -- You wanna know what I really think?
你想 你想知道我的真实想法吗
Anxiety can make you feel unable to cope
焦虑让我们感到无法应付
But living with someone who has anxiety can
但与焦虑的人一起生活
be a bit of a roller coaster, as well.
也可以有好的一方面
We have to support our loved ones with their anxiety
我们必须支持所爱的人
and try to understand their illness.
并试图理解他们的病情
I just feel like Craig has changed so much lately!
我只是觉得克雷格最近变了好多
He barely even talks to me anymore!
他几乎不再跟我说话了！
Well, because his anxiety makes him feel like
嗯 因为焦虑使他觉得
anything he says might sound wrong.
他说的任何话都可能听起来不对
That's why we must nurture our loved ones
这就是为什么我们必须抚慰我们的亲人们
so they feel safe.
以此来让他们安心
Eric, I just feel like you have so much to offer the world
埃里克 你有那么多美好的东西想要献给这个世界
and it kills me that you're so afraid to let your inner you shine.
我痛心你因恐惧而不敢让自己的内心发光
That guy's such a douche.
那家伙真混蛋
What was that -- what was that one show he was on?
那是什么 - 他上的什么节目？
Maybe you -- you wanna text him that?
也许你 - 你该给他发消息？
Oh, yeah, "B.J. and the Bear. "That show was so dumb.
哦 是的 “B.J.和熊” 这个节目太蠢了
What kind of monkey was that anyway?
那是什么猴
What was that --What was that monkey --
那是什么 - 那只猴子是什么 -
Wait -- What the --What the hell is this?
等等 - 什么 - 这TM到底是什么？
Oh, God damn it!
哦 该死的！
Mom, will you stop texting me, please? I'm trying to relax!
妈 你能别给我发消息吗？ 我想放松会！
Look, we're all just trying to understand this condition,
看 我们都在努力了解情况
and it's like you're not listening.
好像你并没有在听我们说什么
We're doing everything we can
我们在尽可能地控制我们的焦虑！
to keep our anxiety under control!
Do you think I even wanna be here right now!
你以为我现在乐意呆在这吗！
I am freaking out!
我TM要崩溃了！
Can we go now?
我们现在能走吗？
Yeah,that's pretty cool.
耶 很酷
Hey, what's going on here.
这怎么回事
Why aren't you people working?
你们怎么都在摸鱼
We can't keep buildin', sir.
我们不能继续干活 头
We got a bunch of protestors who won't let us work.
我们遇上了一群不让我们工作的抗议者
Protestors? Who?
抗议者 谁啊
Ugh, just a bunch of PC Babies who think building this thing is wrong.
呃 只是一群认为建造这玩意不对的政确宝宝
All right! All right! What do you PC Babies want?
好吧 好吧 你们这帮政确宝宝到底想干什么
I guess they're upset because the new viaduct
我想他们因为新的高架桥不高兴
is being financed by a state rather than county institution.
那桥是州里出资而不是县里出资的
Aw, come on, PC Babies! Why does that matter?
啊 得了吧 政确宝宝们 那又怎么了
I guess the state refused to finance a proposed program on race-relation education,
我想是因为州政府拒绝为针对种族关系的教育项目拨款
and they see it as hypocritical.
他们认为这很虚伪
God damn it!
见鬼
Not everyone cares about race relation programs!
并不是所有人都在乎种族关系项目
Come on, PC Babies! We got a job to do!
得了吧 政确宝宝们 我们还有活要干
All right, all right, just calm down, lady!
好 好 冷静一下 女士
You want to file a Missing-Persons report?
您是要填一份失踪人口申报吗
No! No, we don't want to file anything specific.
不 不 我们不想填任何特定的文件
We just need help finding some PC Babies.
我们只是需要你们帮忙找一群政确宝宝
PC Babies?
政确宝宝？
They usually hang out at liberal arts colleges.
他们通常在一些文理学院出现
You could find some there.
你可以在那里找到一些
No, no, it's five specific PC Babies.
不 不 我们要找五个特定的政确宝宝
Tony, wasn't there a report
托尼 是不是有报告说
of some PC Babies down at the Mexican border?
在墨西哥边境有一些政确宝宝
No, no, these PC Babies wouldn't have gotten that far.
不 不 那些政确宝宝不可能到那么远的地方去
They can barely walk. I'm their mother.
他们刚刚会走路 我是他们的母亲
Okay, okay. Last name?
好吧 好吧 姓氏？
Woman.
女
First name?
名字？
S-strong...
强人
Okay. And you're the father?
好的 那么你是孩子父亲吗
No!
不！
I am her superior at work!
我是她的上司
Don't be ridiculous!
别犯蠢了
You think I took advantage of my position?!
你觉得我滥用职权？
-I'm not some two bit floozy -I'm not Harvey Weinstein,
-我可不是什么荡妇 -我不是哈维·韦恩斯坦
-who goes around sleeping with the boss! -all right?!
-只会和老板上床 -好吗？
-I am a strong woman! -I have nothing but respect for females in my workplace
-我是女强人 -我对于工作场合的女性只有尊敬
-and I would never compromise that position! -Those kids were born naturally by in-vitro fertilization!
-我对这个立场绝不妥协 -那些孩子是自然生产的试管婴儿
We'll, uh...see what we can do.
我们会看看我们能帮什么忙
In the meantime, you'll justhave to take a seat and wait.
在这期间 你们就坐下等着吧
Go.
走
Go!
快走呀
What do you want?
你想干嘛？
Go down the slide or get out of the way!
要么滑下去要么给我闪开！
You think I even want to be here, Kyle?
你以为我想来这里吗 凯尔？
My therapist told me I need to force myself
我的医生告诉我我必须迫使自己
to go out and do things to overcome my anxiety.
出来做一些事来克服自己的焦虑
Can we move him, please?!
请问我们能赶他走吗
Oh! Oh, I see!
哦 我明白了
People with anxiety shouldn't be allowed at water parks.
有焦虑症的人不应被允许到水上乐园来
Is that it, Kyle?
是不是 凯尔
Hey, everybody! Just so you know!
嘿 大家 你们都得了解一下
Kyle thinks people with anxiety should just stay home!
凯尔认为有焦虑症的人应该就呆在家
Yeah, I'm trying to come out of my shell,
是啊 我努力试着走出自我
but Dr. Kyle here is just worried about his place in line.
但是凯尔大夫只关心他在排队中的位置
Get. Off. My. Towel.
从 我 的 毛 巾 上 下 来
Get off my towel!
从我的毛巾上下来！
God damn it!
该死的！
I seriously can't get a minute of peace!
我真连一分钟的安静都得不到
Why is it that people who don't have a Buddha box
为什么没有佛系盒的人们
are always flipping Buddha boxes off the heads
总会把佛系盒从焦虑的人的头上扯下来
of people with anxiety?
I got news for you, Cartman! Everyone has anxiety!
我告诉你一个大新闻 卡特曼 每个人都有焦虑症
Everyone gets nervous!
每个人都会紧张
Everyone is afraid of being around people!
每个人都会害怕和别人在一起
Everyone has feelings they'd rather stay home alone.
每个人都认为一个人呆在家更好
And you know what they do? They get over it!
你知道他们怎么做吗 他们克服这一切
And they stop being a piece of shit.
然后他们就不再表现得像个混球
Everyone has anxiety?
每个人都会焦虑？
Yes.
对
Oh, my God!
哦 天哪
I know what I have to do now!
我知道我现在该做什么了
Y-You're right, Kyle!
你是对的 凯尔
You're right!
你说的对
What?!
啥
No, no!
不 不
What did I just do?
我刚刚做了什么
Should have just let him be on his phone, dude.
老兄 你就应该让他玩手机的
You know what the kids like today?
你知道孩子们今天喜欢什么？
They like music that matters!
他们喜欢有意义的音乐
I think you guys got what it takes to be the next big thing!
我觉得你们找到下一个风口了
The PC Babies!
政确宝宝们！
That's what I'm talkin' about! That stuff is raw!
这就是我说的 超炫的
Everyone loves you, PC Babies!
每个人都喜欢你们 政确宝宝
We're gonna make you famous!
我们会让你火的
All right, PC Babies, let's hear what you got.
好了 政确宝宝 让我看看你们有没有东西
All right, South Park,
嗯 南方公园
and now here's that special treat we told you about.
现在为你们带来我们预告的特别内容
Live with us in the studio is a hot new band --
正在录音室和我们直播的是一个热门新乐队
The PC Babies.
政确宝宝
They're gonna perform their new song,
他们将会就扎发辫白人的不公正
which is about the injustice of white people in dreadlocks.
带来他们的一首新歌
It's called "Waaaaghgh."
这首歌名叫 Waaaaghgh！
Riley?
蕾利？
Th-That's Bailey!
那是贝利
It's the PC Babies --guess they're all the rage now.
这是政确宝宝 我想他们现在都暴怒了
Come on!
快走
To quiet one's mind...
如果要使一个人的思绪平静下来
one must have a dialogue with oneself.
人必须和自身对话
I have found enlightenment,
我已经开悟了
but there are so many others who suffer...
但是众生依然在争渡
It's very important to take the time
花时间与外界隔离是非常重要的
to shut out the outside word.
In the Hindu religion,there's a saying, "namaste."
在印度教中 有一个说法叫“纳玛斯代”
*合十礼 也是胖子在SP手游里的台词
It means, "Fuck you.I have anxiety."
意思是 草你妈 我有焦虑症
At first, I thought it was only a few of us.
开始 我认为只是一部分人有这个问题
But then something was said to me by Kyle.
但是凯尔告诉我一些事情
He said "Eric, my friend,everyone has anxiety."
他说 埃瑞克吾友 每个人都会焦虑
I know what you're thinking.
我知道你们在想什么
Fuck Kyle.
GTMD凯尔
And normally, I would agree with you.
一般情况下 我会同意你们的想法
But hear his words.
但听听他这句话
Everyone has anxiety.
每个人都有焦虑症
We must recognize this disease as an epidemic.
我们必须把焦虑症当作一种传染病
Yes, fuck Kyle, but, Mayor, we have to raise money
是的 QTMD凯尔 但是市长 我们得募集钱款
to get everyone who has anxiety the tools they need to cope.
来让每一个人都有应对焦虑的工具
And how do you think we get that money?
你觉得 我们得从哪里弄到这个钱
How do you suggest we do this?
你觉得我们该怎么办
Namaste.
草你妈 我有焦虑症
Na-ma-ste.
草你妈 我有焦虑症
Fuck you, too.
你也滚
That was far out, PC Babies!
真是棒极了 政确宝宝
You really rocked the airwaves!
你们在广播上做得非常好
Now come on. We got a photo shoot at 5:00!
现在跟上 我们五点钟还要拍照
Kids!
孩子们
You're okay!Thank God!
你们没事 感谢上帝
Who the hell are you?
你TM又是谁
I'm their...vice principal.
我是他们的 副校长
Yes, and I-I'm their principal.
是的 我是他们的校长
We need to get these kids back to school.
我们得把这些孩子送回学校去
You can't do that! These are the PC Babies!
你们不能这么做 他们是政确宝宝
Don't you know how big they are?
你们不知道他们现在有多火吗
In just one day, they protested a bar,
仅仅一天之内 就在酒吧完成了一次抗议
stopped construction of a problematic viaduct,
叫停了一场漏洞百出的高架桥的建设
and wrote a hit single about cultural appropriation.
还写了一首关于文化挪用的单曲
They...
他们
did all that?
做了全部这些？
Oh, my God.
天哪
They had their first protests...
他们进行了首次抗议
and we missed it.
可我们错过了
We missed everything because...we were on our phones.
因为玩手机我们错过了一切
I've always used the phone as a way to deal
我一直把手机当作
with the stress of having babies
缓解带孩子压力的方法
nobody could know the truth about,
没人发现真相
but it's only made it worse.
这只让事情变得更糟
You know what we have to do, right?
你知道我们该做什么了 对吗
Yeah...I think so.
是的 我觉得我知道了
All right,everyone. Listen up.
各位听好
The vice principal and I have been discussing student health.
我和副校长一直在讨论学生健康问题
And it's our firm belief that what they need,
我们坚信他们需要的
and what we all need, is less time on our phones.
也是我们所有人需要的 是少玩我们的手机
Yes, yes I know it's an unpopular idea,
是的 是的 我知道这是一个不受欢迎的主意
but just hear me out, please.
但是请你们听我说完
Our phones are the cause of stress,
我们的手机恰恰是焦虑的来源
not the relief from it.
而非纾解的手段
We are banning phones and Buddha Boxes from school,
我们将会禁止手机和佛系盒在学校的使用
and we suggest you all strictly limit their use at home, as well.
我们建议你们在家里也严格限制它们的使用
I don't think anyone's listening to you.
我觉得底下没人在听你讲话
是啊
Yeah.
Nobody's listening.
没人在听
And nobody's watching.
也没人在看
I guess we could wait and ban the boxes tomorrow?
我们或许可以等到明天再禁止手机和佛盒
You keep brushing that hair back out of your eyes
你不停地把头发从眼睛拨开
BGM:Today-Brad Paisley
And it just keeps falling and so do I
而它一直滑落 我也如此
I am feeling like the luckiest man alive
我觉得我是最幸运的人
Today
当下
And I don't know about tomorrow
我不知明日如何
Right now, the whole world feels right
只是现在 世界是如此的美好
And the memory of a day like today
像今天一样的美好回忆
Can get you through the rest of your Life
会陪伴你一生