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噢 我觉得这很蠢 他们不会让我们进去的！ Oof, I feel silly. They're not gonna let us in!
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没事的 来吧 你得放松点 阿德勒老师 Will you just come on. you gotta loosen up, Mr. Adler
但这可是镇上现在最火爆的地方了 But this is the most popular place in town right now!
我们能进去的！ We can get in!
把你的头发梳梳 摆出最帅的样子来 Just comb your hair, you know, look your best
就能让我们进去 I can get us in
得了吧 老哥 我们已经等了好几个小时了！ Come on, man. We've been waiting for hours!
你们这里有很多疫苗 You guys have plenty of vaccinations in there
就让我们进去吧 老兄 Just let us in, man
55岁以上 或者是现场应急人员才行 55 and older and first responders only
啊 额 嘿 额 我们想进去 On, uh, hey, uh, we'd like to get in there
然后接种些疫苗 好么 And get some vaccinations, mkay
你在名单上吗？ Are you on the list?
额 不 我没在名单上 Well, no, I'm not on the list
我试过挤进名单上 I tried to get on the list
我连续整整30个晚上都坐在电脑前 I sat on my computer 30 nights in a row
就为了预约接种疫苗 Trying to make a vaccination appointment
上那该死的名单 And get on the God damn list
你看 我们是学校的老师 好么 Look the thing is we are school faculty, mkay
你得让我们进去！ You gotta let us in!
不 不 你得先让那些 No, no, you have to let in people
有健康问题的人进去！ With health issues first!
我是个老烟枪并且我的妻子超重39磅！ I am a chain smoker and my wife is 39 pounds overweight!
我的免疫系统受损了！ I have a compromised immune system!
我有生殖器疣 我可以给你们看看！ I have genital warts, and I will show them to you!
只有55岁以上 现场应急人员和排到2B组的人才行！ Over 55, first responders and Group 2B only!
现在闭嘴！ Now beat it!
嘿 嘿 伙计 我是丹·罗伯茨的朋友… Hey, hey, man, I'm a friend of Dan Roberts --
他是科尼弗的牙医助理… He's a dental assistant in conifer --
给我滚开 我都说了你不能进！ Get the fuck outta here. I said you're not gettin' in!
你们在浪费时间！ You're wastin your time!
哦 你好 女士 这边请 Oh, hello, ma'am. Right this way
啊啊啊！ Awww!
老娘79岁了 贱人们！ 79, bitch-esssss!
-嘘~ -你去死吧！ -Booooo! -You suck!
去死吧老不死的！ You suck you stupid old people!
疫苗
特辑
疫苗 特辑
斯坦 凯尔 你俩能赶紧过来一下吗？ Stan, Kyle, can you come over here real quick?
课间休息快结束了 老兄 Recess is almost over, dude
我有很重要的事情 快过来 Just come here please, it's important
嘿 肯尼 我找到他们了 好吗？ Hey, Kenny, I got the guys, okay?
是你来谈还是想让我和他们谈 You wanna talk or you want me to talk?
你去说 You can talk
伙计们 肯尼和我觉得 You guys, Kenny and I are feeling like
尽管疫情可能会好转 Even though things are supposedly getting better with the pandemic
但我们比以往任何时候都更沮丧 We're more depressed than ever
我们四个看上去形同陌路 The four of us just seem really different towards each other
我们担心过去的一年 And we're worried the past year has put
让我们的兄弟情谊变得紧张了 A strain on our broship
肯尼说他会尽一切努力 Kenny was saying he wants to do everything he can
来拯救我们友谊的小船 我也同意他的观点 To save the broship, and I agree with him
所以我们午饭时进行了积极的沟通 So we had a really positive talk about it during lunch
肯尼和我分享了一些 And Kenny shared some ideas of how maybe
关于我们如何渡过难关的想法 We can navigate through this, and I think
我们想到了一个好主意 We came up with a great idea
是这样 你们知道女人是要来月经的吧？ Okay, so, you know how chicks have periods right?
-啥？ -是真的！ -What? -It's true!
女人确实会有月经 阴道流血 Women have 'periods' where they bleed from their vagina
记得今天早些时候 斯坦 Remember earlier today, Stan
你说我们老师穿的是白色的衣服？ You said our teacher was wearing white?
所以我们谈话的时候我跟肯尼说 So when we talked I said to Kenny
哦 如果老师来了月经？ Oh, what if teacher got her period?
会不会能让我们开心一点呢？然后我们想到 Which cheered us up a bit and then we realized
今天是汉堡日 Today was hamburger day for lunch
番茄酱信手拈来 There was lots of ketchup laying around
所以我和肯尼在课间休息时溜进了教室 So me and Kenny snuck into the classroom during recess
把它放在老师的椅子上 And put it on the teacher's chair
现在我们回去上课 And now when we get back to class there's gonna be
老师的椅子上有一堆番茄酱 A bunch of ketchup on the teacher's chair and when
当她站起来的时候完全就像来月经了一样 She stands up it's gonna totally look like she got her period!
一定会很棒的 兄弟们我好激动啊 It's going to be amazing, you guys. I'm so excited!
好了 同学们 希望大家都吃好了午餐 Okay, class. Hope everyone had a good lunch
好 大家分数学得怎么样啊？ Okay, how did everyone do on their fractions?
有什么问题吗？ Are there any questions
我知道最后几道题有点难 I know the last few were a little tricky
嗯—— 嗯—— Nnnnnnnnnnnn nmrmrrrmrmrmmrrrr...
嘘！ 凯尔 凯尔！ 嘘！ Shhh! Kyle, Kyle! Shhhh!
尼尔森老师 我解不出第14题 Mrs. Nelson, I couldn't figure out number 14
第14题 好的 我们一起来看一下 Number 14. Okay. Well, let's look at it together
啊啊啊啊！ Ewwwwww!
怎么了 What?
什么？这是…这是什么？ What? What is -- what is this?
哦天啊 老师来月经了！ Oh, my God. Teacher had her period!
真恶心！ Gross!
孩子 一定是出了什么问题 Kids, something must be wrong with me
这是恶作剧吗? Is this a prank?
真恶心啊 老师 That's nasty, teacher
不要在上课的时候来月经！ Don't have your period during class time!
你们觉得这很好笑吗? You think this is funny?
我到这里 冒着生命危险来教你们 I come here, and I risk my life to teach you?
我连疫苗都接种不了 And I can't even get a vaccination because
因为老师还不够重要？！ Teachers aren't important enough?!
然后我在网上甚至都不能得到明确答复 And I get on the websites and can't even get a straight answer
来告诉我我能不能接种疫苗？ On when I'll get vaccinated?!
好吧 我受够了！ Well, I'm over it!
我再也受不了了！ I can't do this anymore!
伙计们 我觉得这可能是我们做过的 You guys, I think that might have been the single most
最搞笑的事了 Hilarious thing we've ever done
我们应该发哪一张照片 伙计们 Which one should we post, you guys?
发这个老师屁股上血最多的 Should we post the one where you can see the most blood
还是那个她做出 On teacher's ass or the one where she makes
最傻的表情那张？ The dumbest face?
你什么都不能发! You're not posting anything!
你知道你做了什么吗？ Do you have any idea what you've done?
你什么意思 老兄？ What do you mean, dude?
是啊 我们终于回到了学校 过着正常的生活 Yeah, we finally get back to school and have some sense
但你们把老师气走了！ Of normalcy and you guys make the teacher walk out!
嘿 至少肯尼和我在做点什么 Hey, at least Kenny and I were doing something
来找回我们的激情！ To try and get that spark back!
你知道吗有30%的兄弟情谊 You know 30 percent of broships
没能在疫情之间挺过来？ Didn't make it through the pandemic?
如果他们让我们继续远程学习怎么办？！ What if they make us go back to remote learning?!
我不想回到家里被隔离 I don't want to go back to being quarantined at home
就像某些孩子现在仍在做的一样！ Like some of the other kids still are!
嘿 伙计们！ Hey, fellas!
今天在学校玩得很开心吗？！ Anything fun happen at school today?!
是啊 你错过了 那是有史以来最棒的事了！ Yeah, you missed it! It was the best thing ever!
我们把番茄酱放在老师的座位上 We put ketchup in the teacher's seat
让她以为那是她的月经！ And made her think it was her period!
哦 天啊！听起来太有趣了 Oh, my gosh! That sounds like so much fun!
是啊 这是我们人生中最棒的一天 Yeah, pretty much greatest day of our lives
你们知道让他们给我们 Do you guys know how hard it's going to be
找个代课老师有多难吗？ For them to find us a replacement teacher?
这有什么难的 It's not gonna be hard
他们会找个烂老师来 They'll bring in some lame ass teacher
就无心工作那种 Who's desperate to work
那能有多糟呢？ How bad can it be?
哦… Oh...
我回—来—啦! I'm baaaack!
嗨 南方公园！我回家了！ Hey, South Park! I'm home!
我的老天爷啊 这是真的吗? Holy shit, is that who I think it is?
下面有你的行李吗 先生? Any luggage from below, sir?
哦 是的 我有很多行李 Oh, yes, I've got a lot of baggage!
嘿！嘿 瓦尔莫！ Hey! Hey, Valmer!
最近过的怎么样啊？！ How're ya doing?!
塔克！看起来真不错！ Tucker! Lookin' good!
哦 真高兴能见到大家！ Oh, it's so great to see everybody!
嘿！操你妈！ Hey! Fuck you!
嘿 嘿 看起来不错啊 汤普森！ Hey, hey, lookin' good, Thompson!
你的妻子做艾滋病检测了吗？！ Did your wife get that AIDS test?!
你看 这是一个很简单的事实 教学就是我的生命 You know, the simple truth is, teaching is my life
我在教室里就跟回家一样 I'm just completely at home in the classroom
在我小小的休假之后我更加清晰地认识到了这一点 I realize that now more than ever after my little sabbatical
是啊…但你所谓的休假稍微有点争议 Yes... Your, sabbatical was somewhat controversial
好吧 我确实经历了一些事情 Well, I just went through a little thing
我…我意识到自己是同性恋 You know, I... I realized I was gay
之后我又发现自己并不是同性恋 我是个女人 And then I realized I wasn't gay, I was a woman
而在变性之后 我才发现这是一个小错误 And after I transitioned, I thought it was a little mistake
在这之后我又当了一段时间的美国总统 And then I went through a phase
在这之后我又当了一段时间的美国总统 Of being the President of the United States
这就是问题所在 加里森先生 Well, that is the problem, Mr. Garrison
你前总统的身份 As someone who previously identified as President
可能会引起安全上的问题 There could be safety issues
这根本不算什么问题 Oh, that's not a problem
所有的前总统都指派了 Anyone who has been President is assigned
美国特勤局的特工 Secret service for the rest of of their lives
终身保护他们的生命安全 To keep them protected
特勤先生！ Mr. Service!
这位是我的私人保镖 特勤先生 This is my private security, Mr. Service
你好 Hello
呃 感谢你前来应聘 加里森先生 Uh, thank you for your application, Mr. Garrison
我们会将你列为候选 但是我希望 We'll keep you in mind as a backup, but hopefully
疫苗接种能够尽快开放 The vaccination process is going to start opening up
得了吧 伙计 不放人进去实在是太荒谬了 Come on, man, it's ridiculous that people can't get in
对啊 你要知道以色列可是给每个人都接种了疫苗 Yeah, you know, in Israel they vaccinate everybody
※以色列实施了高效的疫苗接种计划，接种率为全球最高
以色列比这破地方不知高到哪里去了！ Israel's way cooler than this lame place!
那你去以色列啊 So then go to Israel
我试过了…他们不放我进去 I tried... I couldn't get in
汤姆 我现在正在全镇最热闹的地方外面 Tom, I'm outside of the hottest place in town
而我们现在就将带你 And what we'd like to do now is take you
进行一次特殊的参观 For an exclusive look inside
我不能放你进去 老兄 You're not getting in, pal
我非常想进去得到那宝贵的一帧 I'm actually willing to go inside and get a shot
以便所有人都能了解到这里有多安全 So that everyone can see just how safe it is
我说快滚开 我不会放你进去的 I said get lost, you're not getting in
别在我面前晃悠了 Get outta my face
请给我一帧的机会 Please give me a shot
※shot兼有“拍摄” 和“注射”的意思
一帧就足够了 Please, all I want is a shot
一帧就可以改变这一切 Just that one shot that could change everything
所有人让出一条道来 Everyone clear outta the way
快把出口让出来 我们有贵宾出来了 Clear the entrance. We have VIPs coming out
-呜呼！-耶！-实在是太棒了！ -Whoo-hoo! -Yeah! -That was great!
接下来去哪儿嗨 大家伙？！ Where to next, everybody?!
这是我们的第二针了 一起去酒吧嗨吧！ That was our second shot. Let's go out to the bars!
-没错！-棒极了！ -Yeah! -Alright!
去死吧老不死！ Old people suck!
哈？听不清 Hah? Can't hear ya
我耳朵里有太多抗体咯！ Got too many antibodies in my ears!
-哈哈哈哈！ -哈哈哈哈！ -Hahaha! -Hahahah!
嘿 比利！ Hey there, Billy!
还搁那戴着口罩呢？ Still gotta wear that mask, huh?
我们都注射过疫苗了！ We're all vaccinated now!
现在就到酒吧去找点乐子！ I'm gonna go out to the bars and get some pussy!
没错！ Yeahhhh!
好的 爷爷 Okay, grandpa
说起来…他们什么时候才给你们小屁孩注射疫苗啊？ Sayyy... When are they gonna vaccinate you kids?
噢 想起来了！你们排最后！ Oh, yeah! You're laaast!
和你的社交距离玩的开心 废物！ Have fun social distancing, loser!
嘿 老兄 准备好对付代课老师了吗 Hey, broships. You ready for some substitute teacher action?
肯定很有意思！ This should be fun!
嘿孩子们！ Hey, kids!
猜猜谁回来啦？ Guess who's baaaaaaaaack?
-噢！-不！ -Awwwwww! -Oh no!
-啊！-可恶！ -Eww! -Yuck!
我知道你们去年放了很长的假 Well, I know you've all had a lot of time off this past year
噢 老天爷啊 我们究竟做了什么？ Oh, dear Christ, what have we done?
但是时候回到正轨了 But it's time to get you all back on track
现在 我希望在这间教室里纪律和尊重并存… Now, I expect discipline and respect in this classroom --
对我 还有你们的新助教 特勤先生 均是如此 Both to me and your new teachers assistant, Mr. Service
把这些试卷分发下去 特勤先生 Hand these papers out, Mr. Service
干的好啊 你个臭傻逼！ Nice going, you dumb cocks!
傻逼玩意！ Stupid assholes!
你们就是群烂货 You guys are dicks
喔 大家对我们的月经玩笑 Wow, people are really pissed at us for doing
很大意见啊 伙计们 The period joke, you guys
为什么他们觉得我们都参与了月经玩笑？ Why do people think we all did the period joke?
因为我告诉他们是我们一起干的 Well, because I told them we all did
大家知道我们是好兄弟 做什么都在一起！ People know we're bros and that we do everything together!
你们得去告诉大家 You guys are gonna go and tell everyone
谁才是真相和元凶！ The truth about who's fault this is!
我什么都没做！ I didn't do anything!
你说的没错 凯尔 你什么都没干 That's right, Kyle, you did nothing
你知道这个恶作剧 你完全可以 You knew about the prank, you could have stopped it
阻止我们 但你屁都没放一个 At any time, but you didn't say a word
-沉默即暴力 凯尔 -什么?! 老兄！ -Silence is violence, Kyle. -What?! Dude!
你就准备干站在那儿听这一堆屁话？！ Are you just gonna stand there and listen to this crap?!
我根本不知道该做什么！ I don't even know what to do!
要我说的话 这整个疫情 If you ask me, this whole pandemic
就完全是在浪费时间！ Has been a giant waste of time!
噢 我的天哪… Oh, my God...
或许我们的兄弟情谊没能幸存 Maybe our broship didn't survive
你就不能闭嘴吗？！ Will you shut up about that!?
没人关心你那狗屁兄弟情谊！ Nobody cares about your stupid broships!
你现在又把肯尼弄哭了 And now you've made Kenny cry
没有… Nope...
我没在名单上找到你的名字 I don't see you anywhere on the list
是 侏儒 内裤侏儒 It's 'Gnomes', 'Underpants Gnomes'
我们是一线工作者！ We are essential workers!
好 好 乖乖到后面去排队吧 Yeah, yeah. Get in line with the rest of us!
这儿真的有人在名单上吗 Is anybody here actually on the list?!
呃 是的 呃 汤姆 消防员汤姆 好么 Uh, yes it's uh, Tom, Fireman Tom, mkay
你他妈就不能滚开吗 老兄？ Will you fucking get lost, pal?
我不懂你在说什么！ I don't know what you're talking about!
好吧 我受够了 我是社区英雄 Alright, that's it. I'm a hero of the community
我是消防员汤姆！ I'm Fireman Tom!
-耶！ -轰趴去咯！ -Yeahhhh! -Partyyyy!
好吧 让我看看… Okay, let's see...
剪刀 纸 胶水 噢 经典的 Scissors, paper, glue, ah, some good old fashioned
2号铅笔 我的学生正需要呢 Number 2 pencils. That's what my students need
特勤先生 你能帮我从那儿 Mr. Service, can you grab a couple boxes
拿几盒铅笔吗？ Of those pencils over there?
你看到了吗？ Would you look at that?
他毁了我们整个国家 He ruined our entire country
而现在他却像什么都没发生过一样回来了 And now he's just back like nothing happened
好了 我想这就是我们所有需要的学习用具了 Okay, I think that's all the school supplies we need
再给班级零食筐带点健康小零食吧 Let's grab some healthy snacks for the class snack basket
噢 噢 我懂了 Oh. Oh, I see
看啊 大伙 这儿有个基佬在购物！ Look, every one, there's a gay man shopping!
我刚好就是唯一一个勇敢到 I happen to be the only teacher brave enough
敢在现在给你们的小孩上课的老师 所以你们最好 To teach your kids right now, so you better all
都给我清醒一点！ Get real woke real fast!
走吧 特勤先生！ Come on, Mr. Service!
呃 嘿！打扰一下？！ Uh, hey! Excuse me?!
不知道你是否还记得我鲍勃·怀特？ Hey, uh, I'm not sure if you remember me. Bob White?
我只想让你知道 我一直都在支持你 I just want you to know I was always on your side
事实上 我们怀特一家都支持你 In fact, all of us Whites were really on your side
※此处whites一语双关 也指“白人”
听着 我现在只是个老师 好吗？ Look, I'm just a teacher. Okay?
只是一个老师 我在为我的班级买东西 Just a teacher, I'm shopping for my class
所以 听着 我们现在该怎么办? So, look, uh, what are we supposed to do now?
你知道 我是匿名者Q的追随者 You know, I'm a follower of QAnon
※匿名者Q是一种极右翼阴谋论 其支持者同时也支持特朗普
我们该怎么做才能让疫苗接种停下来？ What are we supposed to do to stop the vaccinations?
他们正在给人们接种疫苗 They're vaccinating people right now
给人类植入微芯片！ Seeding people with their microchips!
你对这样的情况肯定有计划了吧？！ Surely, you have a plan?!
我们每晚都上网等你的指示 We're on the Internet every night waiting for word
我的指示就是滚回去好好过日子 蠢货！ The word is get a fucking life, jackass!
你个鸡巴喷粪的蠢蛋！ Blow shit out your dickhole!
你听到了吗 亲爱的？ Did you hear that, honey?
他说 鸡巴喷…粪… He said 'shit... out your dickhole...'
他在给我们暗示 He's trying to give us some kind of signal
你们觉得我的命不重要？！ Think my life doesn't matter!?
我来告诉你们什么重要！ I show you what matters!
辅导员的命也是命！这才是重要的 Counselors matter. That's what matters
我倒要看看你这狗日的学校 Let's just see how your God damn school functions
没了辅导员要怎么运作 Without a God damn counselor!
哦 真该死 Oh, God dammit
嘿！嘿！你们这些老不死的！ Hey! Hey, you damn old people!
别再在学校停车场骑着摩托转圈了! Stop doing donuts in the school parking lot!
-啥？-我说你们这些老不死的赶紧… -Hah? -I said you old people need to --
操死这些老不死的 自己玩的开心 Fucking old people rubbing everyone's noses
蹬鼻子上眼 In their fun times!
什么事?! What?!
我和朋友之间有很多问题 I've been having a lot of problems with my friends
似乎疫情把很多我们之前没有注意到的 It just seems like the pandemic exposed problems
问题暴露了出来 We didn't even know were there
说实话 我都不确定我之后 To be honest, I'm not sure that I even see
还能不能和他们相处 A future with these guys
什么？！ What?!
嘿 肯尼 伙计们？ Hey, Kenny. Guys?
伙计们 进来吧 你们都同意来做辅导员咨询 Guys, come on. You agreed to counseling
嘿 麦奇老师 我们… Hey, Mr. Mackey. We, uh, we've been having
我们遇到了很多困难 A lot of problems and um, we all
我们都想修复我们的兄弟情谊 是不是啊伙计们? Want to work on our broship, don't we guys?
-是 -是 -Yes. -Yes
你知道这场疫情就像一个高压锅 You know this pandemic has been a pressure cooker
我们感觉就像在经历 And we just feel like we're going through
友谊难关 你懂吗？ The brotions. You know?
这是因为你们搞了个恶作剧 Because you guys pulled a prank
把老师气走了 现在所有人都恨我们了 And made the teacher leave, and now everybody hates us
沉默即暴力 凯尔 沉默即暴力 Silence is violence, Kyle. Silence is violence
你们猜怎么着 孩子们？我不在乎！！ Well guess what, boys? I don't care!!
我来这儿 听你们这群孩子每天唧唧歪歪着 I come here and I listen to you kids bitch about
那些愚蠢的烦恼 我现在都50岁了 Your stupid problems every day, and I'm 50 years old!
我可能明天就死于狗日的新冠肺炎 I could die tomorrow from this Covid shit!
求求你了 麦奇老师 我们只是想要 Please, Mr. Mackey, we just want to get
我们原来的老师回来给我们上课 好吗？ Our old teacher back for everybody, okay?
你能不能告诉他 我们真的真的很抱歉？ Can you just tell her we're really, really sorry?
没那么容易 It's not that simple
只有一个办法能让你的老师回来 There's only one way you're getting your teacher back
就是让老师们拿到疫苗 And that's if teachers get their hands on the vaccine
我们该怎么做啊？ How do we do that?
镇上有个地方 There's a place in town...
很难进去 Very hard to get into
比登天还难 Very exclusive
沃尔格林… Walgreens
我试过很多次了 I've tried to get in many times...
穿得像个消防员 好么 Dressed like a fireman, mkay
打扮得像个小老太太 Dressed like a little ol' lady
但他们的安保武装到屁股 But they got security up the ass
你们想办法进去 尽可能拿上所有疫苗 You find a way inside, get all the vaccines you can
把它们带回学校 And bring them here to school
只要你们做了这件事 你的老师可能就会回来 You do that, and you just might get your teacher back
好么? Mkay?
朋友们 现在是危急存亡的时刻 My friends, these are very dangerous times
我们国家的未来岌岌可危 Our country's future is at a precipice
所以我召集了镇上 And that is why I have called together every
所有匿名者Q的追随者 QAnon follower in our town
忘了它吧 鲍勃 坏人们赢了 Let's forget it, Bob. The bad guys won
我感觉好像生活像是被人拉了屎 I feel like someone pooped on my life
他们没有赢! They didn't win!
我们最近收到一条新的加密信息 We just recently received a new coded message
你收到了Q的消息？ You got a message from Q?
不是Q的 Not from Q...
而是天选之子的 From the chosen one
是的 我们看到他了 Yes, we saw him
就在杂货店的农产品区 In the produce section of the grocery store
他对我说 And he said to me...
“你鸡巴喷粪” "Blow shit our your dickhole"
我立刻意识到我们遗漏了什么事 I immediately knew something was amiss
因为一个人无法将粪便 Because one can't move feces
从阴茎的尿路排出 Through their penile urinary tract!
所以我反复研究 然后我意识到 So I've been going over it and over it and I realized --
"鸡巴喷粪"的缩写是“bsdh” Blow shit out dick hole -- BSDH
我们都知道bs却不懂什么是dh对吗?这根本说不通 We all know what BS is, but DH? It didn't make sense
直到我妻子提醒我“dh”是大卫·哈里斯的首字母 Until my wife reminded me that DH are the initials
就是那位俄亥俄州阿克伦镇的匿名者 Of David Harris, the anon from Akron, Ohio who said that
他说精英们会用拉丁语传递加密信息 The elite use Latin to send coded messages
“喷粪”——Anno Yanis Domini Homme Out your dick hole -- Anno Yanis Domini Homme
做他做的事情 Do what he does
天选之子现在去教书了 The chosen is teaching now
他把Q的信息直接传达给了孩子们 He's taking Q's message straight to the children
他希望我们也这么做 And he wants us to do the same
所以我们应该也去当老师？ We're supposed to be teachers?
现在学校非常很缺老师 There's an incredible shortage of teachers right now
他想告诉我们 到了我们主动出击的时候了！ He's trying to tell us that this is our time to strike!
精英们想干我们的孩子？ The elite want to fuck with our kids?
那我们就去干翻他们的！ We'll fuck theirs!
你好 先生！ Hello, sir!
-你们是谁? -哦 你好 -Who are you? -Oh, hey, hi
我们是非营利的服务组织“社区好少年” We're with the nonprofit service Kidz for Kommunity
两个单词都是K开头 Both spelled with a K
是的 我们正在帮助需要接种疫苗的老年人 Yeah, we assist senior citizens who need the vaccine
但我们需要帮助他们到达接种处 But then need help getting to the right place
哦真的吗? Oh, really?
你们太棒了 That's pretty damn awesome you guys
我希望更多的人能像社区好少年一样 I wish more people could be like the Kommunity Kidz
进去吧 Go on in
-嗯啊啊！ -嘿！ -拜托！ -Awwww! -Heyyy! -Come on!
嘿 我也是社区好少年！ Hey, I'm in Kommunity Kidz, too!
天啊 老兄 这也太轻松了！ Holy shit, dude. That was pretty easy!
是啊 兄弟们 凭借以K开头的社区好少年身份 Yeah bros! Kommunity Kidz spelled with a K
随时随地都能获得准入资格 Gets 'em every time
好了 我的钱呢？ Alright, so where's my Goddamn money?
-什么钱？！-我告诉过你 我已经接种过了 -What?! -I told you I already got the vaccine
我来这只是为了钱 I'm doin' this for the cash!
但我们已经付过你钱了 Yeah, but we already paid you
哦 我肯定得了阿尔兹海默症 我只是个老妇人罢了 Oh, I must have Alzheimer's, I'm just an olllld lady
再付一次 否则我就告发你们！ Pay again or I squeal!
你这天杀的老婊子！ You God damn old bitch!
-付给她钱就好了 卡特曼 什么？！ -Just pay her, Cartman. -What?!
快点 药剂师马上就来了 Come on, the pharmacist is coming!
这是我们有史以来搞过的所有恶作剧里 This is becoming the most expensive period joke
最贵的一次 We ever did!
打扰一下 你们这群小孩在这干什么？ Excuse me, what are you children doing in here?
我们是社区好少年 在帮助老人们接种 We're Kommunity Kidz. We help seniors get vaccinated
哦 那实在是太贴心了 Oh, well that's pretty great
这些孩子在帮助您吗 女士？ These boys are helping you, ma'am?
事实上我也不确定 Oh, actually I'm not sure
我有老年痴呆症 I have a little Alzheimer's
或许还要点美钞才能唤起我的记忆 Might need a little more greenback to jog my memory
你这贱婊子 Oh, you fucking slut!
这就是为什么我们总是把老年人安排在队尾！ This is why we keep old people in the back of the line!
卡特曼 按原计划行事！ Cartman, just stick to the fucking plan!
干得漂亮 凯尔 现在他知道我们有个计划了！ Oh, great, Kyle. Now he knows there's a plan!
什么计划？！ What plan?!
他们在社区好少年的事上撒谎了！ They're lying about Kommunity Kidz!
往常C开头的那个社区？！ It's community with a C like normal?!
肯尼 把疫苗夺过来！ Kenny, grab the vaccines!
-好痛 -快跑！ -Ooof -Run!
跑 跑 跑 跑！ Go, go, go, go!
嘿 社区好少年手里有疫苗！ Hey... Kommunity Kidz have vaccines!
我再说最后一次 艾伦 我不想让我们的儿子 For the last time, Ellen, I don't want our son
去上公立学校！ Going to that public school!
加里森是个糟透顶的老师 Mr. Garrison is a terrible teacher
他的课堂毫无纪律 并且他还是我们 He has no grip on the classroom and he's the worst President
有史以来最差劲的总统！ We've ever had!
但是斯科特必须去学校 亲爱的 But Scott has to go to school, dear
我们可以给他请家教！ So we can get him a private tutor!
你知道的 我们现在支付不起家教的费用 We can't afford a private tutor, you know that
嗨大家伙儿 出什么事了？ Hey, guys, what's the problem?
那个狗娘养的加里森 It's that son of a bitch Mr. Garrison
他会完全毁了我们的孩子 He's gonna completely screw up our kids
这就是为什么我们让特维克退学了 Well, that's why we pulled Tweek out of school
你没听说吗？ Haven't you heard?
有一家新上市的家教机构 There's a brand new private tutoring company
高效又实惠！ That's fast and affordable!
你的孩子跟不上学校的课程吗？ Has your child fallen behind in school?
你有觉得疫情期间 Do you feel like the government has failed you and your child
政府让你和你的孩子失望了吗？ During the time of Covid?
那么来致电我们吧！匿名家教！ Then call us! The tutors at Tutornon!
把教室抛在脑后！ Forget the classroom!
匿名家教能直接在互联网上 Tutornon is bespoke learning that is straight
为你的孩子提供专属教学 From the Internet to your child
我们仔细浏览了网络上的信息 We sift through all the information on the Internet
从而能够给您的孩子以独特的体验 And present it to your child for a uniquely curated experience
把会议视频软件和口罩 以及学校里的社交距离都抛之脑后吧 Forget all the Zooms and masks and social distancing at school
让匿名家教拯救你的孩子 字面意义上！ Let Tutornon save your child. Literally!
现在就联系我们！ Contact Tutornon today!
可通过脸书 油管或者推特！ On Facebook, YouTube and Twitter!
好了 斯科特 你的新家教来了 Alright, Scott. Your new tutor is here
嘿 准备好继续你的学业了吗？ Hey, there! Ready to get back on track with your schoolwork?
我想是的 I guess so
你最好集中精神 You better pay attention and listen to everything
听他教给你的所有东西！ He has to teach you!
我们会好好相处的 谢谢！ We'll be great, thanks!
-好了 坐下 我们没有多少时间了-啊？ Alright, sit down. We don't have much time! Huh?
汤姆·汉克斯和奥普拉 Tom Hanks and Oprah are just two at the very top
是控制我们所见所做的 Of an elite group of people who control
精英团体中的两位佼佼者 Everything we see and do
他们以孩子为食来维持自己的顶尖地位 They feed upon children in order to maintain their elite status
这还不是最糟糕的 你知道恋童癖是什么吗？ And that isn't the worst of it. Do you know what pedophilia is?
-来 让我告诉你 -爸爸？！ -Here, let me show you. -Dad?!
汤姆 我正站在只有少数人能进的沃尔格林药店外面 Tom, I'm standing outside the ultra-exclusive Walgreens
今天早些时候这里的疫苗 Where earlier today vaccines were taken
被那群小侠盗 社区好少年夺走了 By that group of young Robin Hoods, the Kommunity Kidz
这些勇敢的孩子把它掌握在自己手里 These brave kids have taken it into their own hands
来给人们一针 To get people a shot
这就是人们想要的 只要一针 That's all people want, just a shot
那些男孩做到了 所以你就有可能接种 And these boys have made it so you just might get that shot
有机会在这个垃圾世界… And have a chance at hope and some happiness in this --
在这个垃圾世界获得希望和幸福 In this shit world --
好的 谢谢您 克里斯 我们稍后马上回来 Okay, thank you, Chris. We'll get back --
不！不 操你妈 汤姆 因为社区好少年 No! No, fuck you, Tom, because Kommunity Kidz
正是这个小镇和这个世界所需要的！ Are just what this town and this world needed!
而且让人惊讶的是这些孩子竟然 And it's amazing that some kids took some God damn time
真的花时间出门付诸行动 To actually go out and do something
操你妈 汤姆 Fuck you, Tom
好了 孩子们 请就座 Alright, children. Let's take our seats
今天是标准化测试 Today is standardized testing
我们要确保你们这些懒蛋在全球疫情肆虐期间 We're going to make sure you lazy ducks have still been
依然保持着学习 Studying through this global pandemic
-先生？-怎么了 特勤先生？ -Sir? -Yes, Mr. Service?
大家都去哪了？ Where the hell is everybody?
我说我的学生都去哪了？！ I said where are my students?!
贝蓓！你最清楚温蒂去哪了！ Bebe! You always know where Wendy is!
她在哪？！ Where is she?!
我想她的父母把她从学校带走了 I think her parents pulled her out of school
然后给她找了个私教 And got her a private tutor
私教？！ A private tutor?!
为什么他们会找私教？！ Why would they get a private tutor?!
呃 我很肯定是因为他们的父母讨厌你 Um... I'm pretty sure it's because her parents hate you
为什么你这么想？！ What makes you think that?!
因为我和他们谈过 Because I was talking to them about it...
因为我也讨厌你 Because I hate you, too
我在试图让这里的一切都恢复原来的样子！ I am trying to get things back to normal around here!
为什么所有人都这样？！ Why is everyone acting like this?!
为什么所有人都反对我？！ Why is everyone against me?!
我不知道 先生 I don't know, sir
我会查个水落石出的！ I'm gonna get to the bottom of this!
跟我来 特勤先生！ Come on Mr. Service!
你好？ Hello?
尼尔森老师 我是埃里克·卡特曼 Hi, Mrs. Nelson. It's Eric Cartman!
你想干什么? What do you want?
尼尔森老师 我们想让你 Mrs. Nelson, we would like for you to come back
明天回学校来 因为 To school tomorrow, because...
我们有新冠疫苗了！ We have Covid-19 vaccinations!
真的吗？你觉得我会让你们再耍我一次吗？ Really? You think I'm gonna let you prank me again?
我听说这个月经恶作剧 I heard you were the ones responsible
都是你干的 For the period prank
我们的确是没事找事 罪大恶极 And it was so uncalled for and so wrong
我是说 尤其是因为我们是男的 I mean, especially because we're guys
我是说 兄弟们坐在一起 想出一些玩笑话 I mean, dudes sitting around coming up with period jokes
天哪 我们都多大了？认真的吗？ Like, how old are we? Seriously?
对 我才不信 Yeah, I don't trust you
我就在等着政府决定 I'll just wait until the government decides teachers
老师有足够重要去接种疫苗 Are important enough to get their vaccinations
你重要极了 You are so important
所以我们做的事一点都不好笑 Which is why it was so not funny what we did
我是说 I mean, what is funny about
女人阴道里流出血有什么好笑的？ Blood coming out of a woman's vagina?
首先 这是性别歧视 你知道吗 Like, it's sexist, first of all, and you know what else?
这只是消遣 It's just lazy
就正好从那里流出来 这就是我们正在做的 Just dialing it in, that's what we were doing
我们不过是在物尽其用罢了 We were just dialing it in
你们明早最好真的在学校 You better be at school tomorrow morning
并且你们最好真的有疫苗 And you better really have vaccinations
提供给所有老师 For all the teachers
我们会到那的 完毕 Hey, we will be there. Period
※period一语双关 也指“月经”
好的 好的 再见 Ok? Ok, cool bye.
你们听到我说什么了吗？！ Did you guys hear what I said?!
为什么你在最后差点搞砸了 白痴？！ Why did you almost blow it at the very end, you idiot?!
放松 伙计们 她会来的 Relax. guys. She's gonna come
能请你对他说点什么吗？！ Will you please say something to him?!
我又能做什么了？！ What the hell did I do?!
伙计们 停下！停下！ You guys stop it! Stop it!
*这是我的独白* This is my moment
*这是我的时刻* This is my tiiiiimmmeee...
哈喽？！ Hello?!
*我有梦想要去实现* I've got a dream to fulfill
*而我只需要一剂注射* And all I need is a shot
*拜托* Please
*拜托给我接种！* Please just gimme a shot!
听着 社区好少年 我们只是想要一针！ Listen, Kommunity Kidz! All I want is a shot!
你们能给我们一针！ And you can gimme that shot!
那一针，正是我需要的！ That one shot, that's all I need!
我想要的也只有一针！ All I want is a shot, too!
如果能给我一针，我会充分利用它！ If I had a shot, I would make the most of it!
-给我来一针！-我也想要！ -Gimme a shot! -I just want a shot too!
-求你了 我想要接种 -我需要接种！ -Please I need a shot! -I gotta have the shot!
*如果我有机会得到一针* If I just had a shot
*我将让它成为最好的选择* I would make it the best shot
每个人真的都想要疫苗 Wow, everyone just really wants a shot
社区好少年 求你们了！ Kommunity Kidz, please!
如果你给我一针 我就能够出人头地 If you just give me a shot, why, I could be somebody
我就能去高档餐厅 I could go out to fancy restaurants
就像他们那些老人一样 Like all them old people
吃和我脑袋一样大的虾！ And eat shrimp as big as my head!
嘿 你不能抢走我的机会！这是我的！ Hey, you're not taking my shot! This is my shot!
我…我必须要得到！ I -- I have to have this shot!
抓紧这些疫苗 我想我们最好离开这 Grab the vaccines. I think we better get outta here
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事实上 This is a fact...
我们都被少数富人和特权阶层 We are all being controlled by an elite
这些精英控制着 Wealthy and privileged few
当亿万富翁杰弗里·爱泼斯坦 When Jeffrey Epstein, the billionaire
※爱泼斯坦是一名投资家 因涉嫌未成年性交易被捕 死在狱中
因性交易被判有罪的时候 Was found guilty of sex trafficking
他本来是要揭发好莱坞和华盛顿 He was set to squeal on all the elites in Hollywood
那些享受儿童性服务的精英们 And in Washington who used his child sex services...
但爱泼斯坦被发现死在牢房里 死因是“自杀” But Epstein was found dead in his cell from ‘suicide’.
为什么精英们想要性贩子的孩子？ Why do the elites want children from sex traffickers?
因为肾上腺素红 Adrenochrome
※指披萨门 该阴谋论认为民主党及好莱坞精英进行人口贩卖和儿童色情
这是一种为了提神和提升生活质量 It is harvested from children for a euphoric
从孩子们身上采集来的物质 And life-enhancing benefit
好莱坞和政治精英们组成的邪恶阴谋集团 This satanic cabal of Hollywood and political elites
都需要肾上腺素红 All need the adrenochrome to maintain
来维持他们的权力和地位 Their positions of power
并且他们会继续这么做 直到我们站出来反对他们 And they will continue to do so until we stand up against them
那现在你有什么问题吗 克雷格？ Now, do you have any questions, Craig?
嗯… Um...
那奥普拉喝的血会和奥巴马一样吗 So does Oprah drink the same blood as Obama
还是说他们通常喝不同孩子身上的 Or is it usually a different kid?
是世界各地儿童身上的 It's kids from all over the world
现在 我是时候告诉你最大的 Now...It's time for me to tell you the biggest thing
好莱坞精英们不想让你知道的真相了… That the Hollywood elites don't want you to know --
够了 你以为你是在干什么？！ Alright, just what the hell do you think you're doing?!
噢！给我去教其他人！ Oh! Go tutor someone else!
你觉得你能够从我的班里面抢走学生？！ You think you can take my students from my classroom?!
噢 天哪 是你！ Oh, my God! It's you!
是的 是老子我！ That's right it's me!
南方公园小学的首席老师！ The head teacher at South Park Elementary!
这就是我对私人家教的看法! And this is what I think of private tutors!
抓住她 特勤先生！ Get her, Mr. Service!
现在回答我 是谁负责你们这些家教？！ Now who's in charge of all you tutors?!
这…这是秘密… It's...It's secret...
掐死她 特勤先生！ Choke her out, Mr. Service!
不！不要！ No! Please!
是谁搞的这家假家教公司？！ Who started this bogus tutoring company?!
是…是… It was -- It --
我在听着呢！ I'm listening!
是…怀特一家 It was... the Whitessss
怀特一家？ The Whites?
那家伙在杂货店骚扰过我 That guy was harassing me at the grocery store
来吧 特勤先生！是时候处理怀特一家了！ Come on, Mr. Service! Time to deal with the Whites!
我看2021年比2020年也好不到哪去 I guess 2021 is gonna be just like 2020
-一切正常？ -我没有看到任何人 -All good? -I don't see anybody
我觉得到学校早上上课之前我们在这里都是安全的 I think we're safe here until school starts in the morning
我们真的要睡在这里吗？ We're actually gonna sleep here?
我觉得我们没有其他选择了 I don't see what choice we have
-哦 天哪 -怎么了？ -Oh, my God. -What?
-你们 天哪 认真的 -怎么了？ -You guys, oh, my God, seriously. -What?
你们知道罗森先生吗？詹妮·罗森的爸爸？知道吗？ You guys know Mr. Lawson? Jenny Lawson's dad? Yeah?
他愿意为一针疫苗给我们2000大洋 He's offering us 2,000 bucks for a vaccination
你想要干什么？ What are you doing?
老兄 人们真的想要注射疫苗 Dude, people really want their shot
我正在问他们愿意为这个出多少钱 I'm asking around to see what they're willing to pay for it
我是有一点哈维·温斯坦式人格的 I'm a little Harvey Weinstein
我们要把这些疫苗给学校的老师们！ We are giving these to the teachers at the school!
凯尔 这就是我们的兄弟情谊所需的啊！ Kyle, this is what our broship needs!
我们可以卖掉这些东西 然后就一起去度假 We can sell these and go on vacations together
去看现场秀 去主题公园玩！ Go to shows and theme parks!
我们的兄弟情谊需要的是做正确的事 What the broship needs is for us to do the right thing
弥补过失 让大家都不再讨厌我们！ And fix the problem of everyone hating us!
对吗 斯坦？ Right, Stan?
要我说我们就应该自己打疫苗 I say we take the vaccines ourselves
我的意思是 凭什么我们孩子是最后一批？ I mean, why are us kids last?
这整场疫情中他们总是想 This whole pandemic has been about
怎么样对于成年人最好 Doing what's best for adults
也许为了兄弟情谊我们应该做对我们自己最好的事情 Maybe for the broship we do what's best for us
对我们最好的就是赚几千美元 What's best for us is thousands of dollars
这永远是最好的！ That's always what's best!
你们太自私了！ You guys are being selfish!
你们根本就不是在想怎么样对兄弟情谊最好 You're not thinking about what's best for the broship
你们只是在想怎么样对于你们自己最好 You're thinking about what's best for you
我们做这些事都是因为我们想弥补 We did all this because we wanted to fix
我们的月经恶作剧造成的伤害 The damage of the period prank
那就意味着我们要在明早把这些疫苗送到学校 That means taking these to the school tomorrow morning
给我们的老师 For our teachers
我会把这些东西放到安全的地方 I'm gonna put these somewhere safe
这样就没有人会受到诱惑做错事了 So no one gets tempted to do the wrong thing!
我不知道为什么你不坚持反对他 I don't know why you don't stand up to him more
这挺令人失望的 It's really disappointing
噢 该死 Oh, crap
嗨 爸爸 我挺好的 Hey, Dad. Look, I'm okay
我明天之前都不会回家 因为… I won't be home until tomorrow 'cause --
嗯 我在干一件非常重要的事情 Well, I'm doing something really important
好的 凯尔 听起来很不错 Oh, okay, Kyle. Sounds good!
谢谢你 孩子 Thanks, buddy!
你们…不着急吗 You're not... worried?
嘿 我们相信你 凯尔 Hey, we trust you, Kyle!
话说 凯尔 我们听说你有一些新冠疫苗 Say, Kyle, we heard you have some COVID-19 vaccinations
那是给我们老师的 They're for our teachers
噢 好的…嗯 这很合理 Oh, okay. Yeah, that makes sense
嗯 如果你们老师 You know if you think your teacher is worth saving
比我们更值得你去救… More than us...
不是这样的 It's not like that
嗯 听起来是这样的！ Well, it sounds like that!
听上去你老师的命 Sounds like your teacher's life
比你爸妈的命更重要！ Is more important than your mom and dad's!
你知道 当事情急转直下的时候 You know, when all this went down
学校根本没有为你们做什么 不是吗？ The school wasn't really there for you, was it?
学校从某种意义上来说放弃了你们 School kind of abandoned you kids
但是你的父母 嗯… But your parents, well...
我们没有把你们关到视频会议里面去吧？ We didn't shove you off into a Zoom meeting did we?
-爸 请不要… -你知道 我们不再年轻了 -Dad, please don't -- -You know, we're not spring chickens anymore
病毒仍然在外面肆虐 凯尔 The virus is still out there, Kyle
它还在杀人 And it's still killing people
我不知道如果我和妈妈在这几个月感染新冠死了 I don't know how you'd feel if Mom or me got COVID and died
你会是什么感觉 因为你什么都没做 In these last few months because you did nothing
不要什么也不做 凯尔 Don't do nothing, Kyle
你知道吗 凯尔 You know what, Kyle?
-请不要说那句话 -沉默即暴力 凯尔 -Please don't say it. -Silence is violence, Kyle
不要杀死你妈 伙计 Don't kill Mom, buddy
操 Shit!
去开个门好吗 克莉斯托？ Go get that will you, Crystal?
是谁啊 小甜心？ Who is it sweetheart?
是我们国家的救星 It's the savior of our country
美利坚合众国的合法现任总统 And still President of the United States
他是被不公正地弹劾的 Who was impeached unjustly
抓住他们 特勤先生 Get them, Mr. Service!
啊！ Aah!
这是干什么啊？我们做了什么错事吗？ What's this all about? Did we do something wrong?
太特么对了 你们是做了一些错事！ God damn right you did something wrong!
我们的公立学校制度正在凋零 Our public school system is dying
你们家教竟然还要占它的便宜！ And you tutors are trying to take advantage of it!
但是我们只是想像你一样啊！ But we were just trying to be like you!
你们永远不会和我一样！ You'll never be like me!
我做了30年的教书匠了！ I've been a teacher for 30 years!
我只是想找回我以前的生活 I'm just trying to get my old life back
但是你们这些混蛋总是要来挡路！ And assholes keep getting in my way!
但我们必须告诉孩子真相！ But we have to tell children the truth!
他们必须知道！ They have to know!
他们必须知道什么？！ They have to know what?!
知道…知道整件事情！ About -- About the whole thing!
知道关于疫苗的事情！ About the vaccinations!
疫情爆发的数据被严重夸大了！ That the pandemic was blown out of proportion!
而且委内瑞拉的社会主义者 That Venezuelan socialists
※特朗普曾指控大选投票机生产商道明尼公司与委内瑞拉存在勾结
把我们12个州的投票机的线路板 Switched out circuit boards from voting machines
-全都掉了包！ -说得好 小甜心！ -In 12 states! -Good, sweetie!
你不明白吗 所有事情都是被操控的！ Don't you understand everything is being manipulated!
大家都被操控了… Everyone's being manipulated...
这就是为什么镇上的每个人都 So that's why everyone in town is being
变成了混球 对回来的我这么不照顾 Such an inconsiderate jerk about me coming back?
是的 他们不希望人们喜欢你 Yes. They don't want people to like you
他们需要人们恨你 They need people to hate you!
“他们”是谁？ Who are 'they' ?
他们是精英 They're the elites
他们为所欲为 They do whatever they want
他们以孩子们的痛苦和受到的折磨为食！ And they feed on the pain and torture of children!
如果有人开始关心这一切 And if anybody starts to care
他们就会在我们说出真相的时候堵住我们的嘴！ They'll just cut us off when we tell the truth!
真相就是… And the truth is that --
凯尔？ Kyle?
你在做什么？ What are you doing?
我只是在把一切准备妥当 I'm just getting things ready to go
那你为什么要用冰爽仙人掌汁 So then why are you replacing some of the vaccines
替换一些疫苗？ With Cactus Cooler?
好吧 斯坦 你看 Alright, Stan, look
就是这一切给我的压力太大了 好吗？！ It's just the pressure of everything, okay?!
我爸爸打电话来了…我不想我妈妈死 My dad called and... I don't want my mom to die
我也不想我妈妈死！ I don't want my mom to die either!
我不敢相信你居然对我撒谎 I can't believe that you would lie to me
你居然对我有所隐瞒 That you would hide shit from me
嘿 伙计们 发生什么事了？ Hey, guys, what's going on?
没事 肯尼 一切都没问题 Nothing, Kenny. Everything's fine
是的 我们现在要去学校了 伙计 Yeah, we're gonna go to the school now, buddy
好吧 Okay
我会试着假装这一切没有发生 I'm gonna just try and pretend this didn't happen
但这样做只是因为最有利于肯尼 But only because it's what's best for Kenny
我不敢相信我们真的在这么做 I can't believe we are actually doing this
外面有人真的需要这些疫苗…还愿意付大把的钞票 There are people who really need these vaccines -- who have cash
我只想让这事过去 I just want this over with
让我们把这些蠢玩意交给老师就回家吧 Let's get these stupid things to the teachers and go home
我不这么想 社区好少年们！ I don't think so, Kommunity Kidz!
你们不会用这些疫苗来毒害任何人！ You're not poisoning anybody with those vaccinations!
你特么在说什么 斯科特？ The fuck you talking about, Scott?
我知道真相了！ I've learned the truth!
我不会让你们伤害老师的！ And I won't let you hurt the teacher!
我们没时间讨论这个了斯科特 We don't have time for this Scott
你不明白！ You don't understand!
我现在是武斗派的一员了！ I'm part of a militant group now!
一个由爱国的孩子们组建的秘密社团！ A secret cabal of patriot children!
小可爱Q！ Lil' QTies!
小可爱Q？带着一个“Q” 在“L”之后还有个撇号？ Lil' QTies? With a "Q" and an apostrophe after the "L"?
这比社区好少年好得多了 伙计们 That's way better than Kommunity Kidz, guys
我告诉过你们…我们起名字偷懒了 I told you -- we're getting lazy
向我的位置靠拢 小可爱Q们！ Move in on my position, QTies!
你们不能再伤害我们的老师了！ You're not hurting our teacher again!
你们甚至不知道疫苗对人会有什么影响！ You don't even know what those vaccines are doing to people!
在过去一整年 我们的感受和需求 For the whole past year, our feelings and our needs
一直在被放在最后！ Have been put dead last!
你们还会真心去相信别人了吗？ Do you guys really trust anybody anymore?
-是啊！-巴特斯？ -Yeah! -Butters?
你也参与了这件事？ You're a part of this too?
我只是想相信 I just wanted to believe in something
能让我走出家门的说法！ That would get me out of the house!
我才不管这是什么东西！ I didn't give a shit what it was!
现在放下疫苗走吧 社区好少年们 Now just put down the vaccines and walk away, Kommunity Kidz
听着 伙计们 你们有权利说和相信 Look, you guys have a right to say and believe
你们想说和相信的事 好吗？ Whatever you want, okay?
但你们所相信的事真的很蠢 But what you believe is really stupid
我们来看看谁是真的蠢！ We'll see who's stupid!
对！对啊！ Yeah! Y-Yeah!
汤姆 我站在南方公园小学外 Tom, I'm standing outside South Park Elementary
社区好少年们 Where the Kommunity Kidz
打算向公众发放疫苗 Were set to distribute vaccines to the public
一个敌对组织出现了并试图阻止他们 That's when a rival gang showed up and tried to stop them
争斗现在还在继续 And the fighting is still going on now
你们可以看到我身后已经造成了大量的伤害 You can see behind me most of the damage is done
但是热度仍然在加码 汤姆 But it is still raging on, Tom
你们可以看到这讨厌的团伙正在试图阻止社区好少年们 You can see this awful gang is trying to stop the Kommunity Kidz
就是因为社区好少年们相信一些东西 Just because the Kommunity Kidz believe in something
并且真的…真的在意！ And actually -- and actually care!
他们的关心足够让他们行动起来了！ They care enough to do something!
是的 那大概也是小可爱Q们在做的事 Yeah, that's basically what the Lil' QTies are doing too
对吗 克里斯？-你什么意思 汤姆？ Right, Chris? -What do you mean, Tom?
好吧 社区孩子们真的在 Well, the Kommunity Kidz are acting on something
为他们的理想而行动 小可爱Q们也是 我说的不对吗？ They believe in and so are the Lil' QTies, am I right?
有什么区别吗？ What is the difference?
哦 是啊 好吧 区别啊 汤姆 Oh, yeah, well, the difference, Tom
就是你是一坨大狗屎 Is that you are a giant piece of shit
这特么就是区别！ That's the fuckin' difference!
好吧 让我们…你要远程为这些怪物们辩护吗 Okay, let's just -- You're gonna even remotely defend these monsters
就在这社区孩子推行变化的地方 反正就… When Kommunity Kidz are promoting change, just --
操你妈 汤姆！我说完了！ Fuck you, Tom! I'm out!
哦 不！哦 上帝啊 看！ Oh, no! Oh, Jesus, look!
-这是我的疫苗！ -我的疫苗！ -This is my shot! -My shot!
带上疫苗！我们要离开这里！ Grab the vaccines! We got to get outta here!
对！好啊！ Yeah! Y-Yeah!
来吧！让我带你们看看我的Q总部！ Come on! I can show you my Q headquarters!
天啊 你们真的很重视这玩意 Jesus, you people really take this seriously
疫苗只不过是 Vaccinations are nothing more
精英和权贵控制我们的一种方式 Than a way for the elite and powerful to control us
我们试图警告所有人 We've been trying to warn everyone
然后Q就发了一个新帖子说 And then Q released a new post saying
最重要的一天是3月4日 The most important day would be March 4
※指有传闻称3月4日是特朗普真正的就职日期
一开始 这完全说不通 At first, it didn't make sense
3月4日什么都没有发生！ Nothing's happening on March 4th!
直到我看到一则关于新流媒体服务的超级碗广告 Until I saw a Super Bowl ad for a new streaming service
会在3月4日播出！ Which launched on March 4!
流媒体也是比尔·盖茨研发的 Streaming is also the the term used
纳米技术芯片的使用方式之一 For the nano-technology microchips
芯片被放入液体中 Invented by Bill Gates that are being put into a liquid
然后注射进人们的胳膊里 就像疫苗一样！ And then shot into people's arms as a vaccine!
谁特么在做这些？ Who the hell is doing all this?
好莱坞精英们！ The Hollywood elites!
所有那些有钱有权的人 All of them, rich, powerful people
他们为了达到今天的地位服用 Who got to where they were by drinking adrenochrome
※电影《球球向前冲》中的马特和特雷
从被折磨的孩子身上提取的肾上腺素红！ From tortured children!
任何打了疫苗的人都会被追踪 Anyone who gets vaccinated is going to be tracked
和控制 余生都是如此 And manipulated for the rest of their lives
我接到一封邮件 所有老师都要在 I got an e-mail that all teachers are about to be
学校接种疫苗！ Vaccinated at the school!
你是在告诉我他们要变成无脑的僵尸 You're telling me they're all going to become mindless zombies
对谋杀孩童视若无睹吗！ Who are fine with child murder!
是的！哦天啊 我们要到学校去！ Yes! Aw geez, we gotta get to the school!
我要让其他匿名者知道！ I'll let all the other 'anons know!
我们要彻底阻止这一切！ We'll put a stop to this once and for all!
让我们动手吧！ Let's do this!
嘿！刚刚发生什么事了？！ Hey! What the hell just happened?!
是好莱坞的精英们！他们要来搞我们了！ It's the Hollywood elites! They're onto us!
快来！ Come on!
哦 我的上帝啊！ Oh, my holy Jesus!
不想暴露真相是吧 哈？ Don't want the truth coming out, huh?
操你妈！ Damn you!
我们会去学校的！你们阻止不了我们！ We will get to the school! You can't stop us!
我很抱歉浪费了大家的时间 I'm sorry for wasting everyone's time
我不知道为什么会相信他们 I don't know why I believed them
说会给我们疫苗 When they said they had vaccinations
我再也不相信任何事了 I don't know why I believe anything anymore
你好？！ Yes?!
你好 尼尔森老师 你怎么样啊？ Hi, Ms. Nelson. How are you?!
少废话！你说你早上七点会到这里的！ Cut the crap! You said you'd be here at 7:00 AM!
你知道 我们遇到了一点儿小麻烦 And, you know, we just ran into a little hiccup
所以我们想请求你能不能在外面和我们碰头 So we wanted to see if you could meet us somewhere else
然后接种疫苗？-噢 不行 For the vaccine. -Oh, no
我知道这是个恶作剧 I knew this was a prank
你休想把我骗去任何地方！ You're not tricking me into going anywhere!
不 别那么想 尼尔森老师 这不是恶作剧 No, no, Ms. Nelson, it's not a prank!
行行行 我们会去学校的 好吗？ Okay, fine, look, we'll be there, okay?
你就原地不动 Just sit tight
那是什么？！你知道我们没法进学校！ What was that?! You know we can't get into the school!
-她不会出来见我们 凯尔！-你都不试试！ -She's not gonna come meet us, Kyle! -You didn't even try!
他连试都不试一下 因为他想通过卖疫苗来赚钱! He didn't try because he wants to sell the vaccines for money!
那你呢 凯尔？ And what about you, Kyle?
你是那个想私吞疫苗的人 You were the one trying to take the vaccines for yourself
今天早上 This morning
等等 什么？！ He what?!
哇哦 行吧 我本以为这件事已经过去了 但是 Wow. Okay. Thought that we had gotten past that, but --
听着 咱们还是面对现实吧 Look, let's just face it, you guys
我们不信任彼此 我们也不喜欢彼此 We don't trust each other and we don't like each other
我们没法继续假装了 We can't keep pretending
-你真这么认为？就像我想的那样？ -行了 各位 -Are you seriously saying what I think? -Alright, guys
我觉得是时候进行一场我们都不愿提及的谈话了 I guess it's time we had the talk we never wanted to have
肯尼 你想玩下你的iPad吗？ Kenny you wanna go get on your iPad for a minute?
什么？不 我想听听你们要说什么！ What? No, I wanna hear this!
我们只是…我们需要谈谈 肯尼 We just -- We need to talk for a second, Kenny
你看 我下载了《马达加斯加3》 Look, I downloaded "Madagascar 3."
你想用你的“巨魔”耳机看吗？ You wanna watch with your "Troll" headphones?
行 那好吧 Yeah, okay
我们经历了糟糕的一年 Look, it's been a hard year
我想 对有些人来说 已经没有回头路可走了 And I think for some people there's just no going back
我拼尽全力想维持现状 I've been trying as hard as I can to hold things together
但我不得不承认 But I have to admit...
我已经受够了“兄弟情谊” I'm just going through the "brotions."
我们不能再为了肯尼勉强行事 We can't just force things for Kenny's sake
这对我们和对他都不好 It's not good for us and it's not good for him
我们还有一些疫苗 We still have a bunch of vaccines here
现在该怎么办？ What happens now?
我有个办法 I think I have a plan
在南方公园小学 一个人道主义炸药桶 An explosive powder keg of humanity is set to go off
被彻底引爆！ At South Park Elementary!
成千上万的人们聚在这里来接种 Thousands of people have turned up to get their shot --
那可以扭转一切的一针 That one shot that could change everything
但这里也有一群人 But also in the crowd are several people
他们想阻止疫苗的接种 Who want to stop those vaccines from happening
这一切的中心 那个由孩子们组成的神奇组织 At the center of it all -- that amazing group of kids
他们只是在为自己认为正确的事情贡献时间 Who are just taking the time for what they believe is right
我当然指的是小可爱Q I'm talking, of course, about the Lil' QTies
一个认为疫苗有害的组织 A group of youngsters that believe vaccines are harmful
好 好 我知道了 汤姆 Yeah -- Yeah, I see what you did there, Tom
-你可真他妈可爱 -我没有在卖萌 -That's real fucking cute. -I'm not trying to be cute
我的意思是 如果这些孩子真的相信 I'm saying if these kids really believe
他们所相信的恐怖的事情 The horrific things they believe
那么他们不出去做点什么 Then they'd be bad people not to go out
他们就是坏蛋了 不是吗？ And do something about it, wouldn't they?
对 那当然是对的 Yes, that's totally true
如果你是个无德又腐败的白痴 你当然会这么认为 If you're a corrupt dickhead without morals
你他妈会被操的 -打住打住 克里斯 还是回到天气预报吧 You gotta be fucked -Okay, okay, Chris, let's just get back to the weather
好 让我们回到天气预报 你个王八蛋 Yeah, let's get back to the weather, you cunt
快点跟上 特勤先生 我们还得赶回学校 Come on, Mr. Service, we have to get back to the school!
我 我的蛋蛋快冻僵了 先生 My... My balls are freezing, sir
特勤先生的蛋蛋快冻僵了！ Mr. Service's balls are freezing!
不要向他们屈服！ Don't give in to them!
他们想让一切都化作一场玩笑 They're trying to make a joke of everything!
这就是他们的所作所为 That's what they do
那些精英们是怎么操控特勤先生的蛋蛋的？ How do the elites control Mr. Service's balls?
你怎么还不明白？ You still don't get it, do you?!
他们不但喝肾上腺素红 他们还负责运营节目 They don't just drink adrenochrome, they run the show!
这一整场该死的节目！ The whole damn show!
归根结底还是那两个人 It comes down to two people --
你们不喜欢这样 对吧？ Oh, you don't like that, do you?!
戳到你痛处了 哈？！ That's getting a little close to home, huh?!
你们休想控制我 狗娘养的！ You can't control me anymore, you sons of bitches!
他们在玩弄我 还妄图诋毁我的信仰！ They're making fun of me to try to discredit my beliefs!
你觉得这样很好玩儿是吧？ Oh, you don't like that, do you?!
不想让其他人知道这个世界的真相！ Don't want the world to know that!
听着 听着 不管你是谁 Listen! Listen, whoever you are!
我他妈不关心你做了什么 I don't give a shit what you do!
什么？你在说什么？ What?! What are you saying?!
求你了 我只是想回到从前那样的生活 Please! I just want my old life back!
不 停下！他们是怪物！ No, stop! They're monsters!
我不关心你对孩子们做了什么 I don't care what you do to kids
我只想让人们重新喜欢上我！ I just want people to like me again!
你个狗娘养的混蛋！ You son of a bitch!
啊！啊！特勤先生！ Aah! Aah! Mr. Service!
好吧 这他妈是啥 Ok. What the hell is this?
嘿 调回来！ Hey come back!
你想不想做个交易？ How would you like to make a deal?
啊！啊！ Aah! Aah!
当前的形势就是 Alright, here's the situation --
我们所有老师都在学校里 All of our teachers are inside the school
被四五百个想接种的人包围住 Surrounded now by at least 400 to 500 people who want a shot
小可爱Q驻扎在此 然后我们 The Lil' QTies are stationed throughout and we...
然后我们不再是朋友了 And we are no longer bros
魔力消失了 我们也完了 对吗？ The magic is gone and we are through, is that right?
没错 Yup
但我们都想为肯尼争取最大的利益 But we all want what's best for Kenny
所以我们得想个妥协的法子 So we have to find a way to compromise
并继续我们的生活 And move on with our lives
所以我们得怎么做？ So how do we do it?
我们用 We use...
“2-2-3”轮班制 A 2-2-3
凯尔 你从星期一开始和肯尼一起玩两天 Kyle, you have Kenny for two days starting on Monday
我在星期四和星期五和肯尼玩 I have Kenny Thursday and Friday
然后 斯坦 你在周末陪他 And then, Stan, you get him for the weekend
接着我们调换一下 下一周星期一由我开始 Then we switch where I have Kenny starting Monday
接下来两天是斯坦 然后凯尔负责周末 Stan gets two days and Kyle gets a weekend
我们真得这么做吗？这也太麻烦了 Do we really have to do this? That all seems overly confusing
行 那么我们可以隔周进行 Okay, so we can go alternating weeks --
我们每人一周陪肯尼六天 然后再调班 Each one of us has Kenny for six days and then we rotate
对肯尼来说 一个星期和一个人在一起的时间太长了 A week is a long time for Kenny to be with one person
隔周进行加上半周一次的探望 Alternating weeks with a midweek visit
我们要陪他更长的时间 但有机会休息一下 We have longer stretches, but a chance for a break
噢 得了吧 那借宿呢？ Aw, come on. What about sleepovers?
我们不能从肯尼那里把这些也夺走吧 We can't take those away from Kenny
隔周进行加上半周一次的过夜 Alternating weeks with midweek overnight
如果我知道某天我总是和肯尼在一起 It would be easier if I just knew I always had
这样就简单多了 Kenny on certain days
“3-3-4-4”轮班制 3-3-4-4 rotation
让每个人的日子都是一致的 Makes everyone's days consistent --
等等 伙计们 Hang on a second, guys
兄弟 还好吗？ Everything okay, buddy?
好着呢 怎么了？ Yeah, what's going on?
我们快结束了 肯尼 We're almost done in here, Kenny
你喜欢那个生日蛋糕味的冰淇淋吗？ You liking that birthday cake-flavored ice cream?
-没错 很好吃 但我 -不错 你做得很好 朋友 -Yeah, it's fine, but I -- -Okay, you're doing great, pal
“3-3-4-4”制是最稳定的 The 3-3-4-4 is the most consistent
但调换周末的话 我们需要用上… But to change weekends, we would need...
“2-2-5-5”轮班制 The 2-2-5-5 rotation
周末其实也会变动 Where the weekends can actually fluctuate
我不知道该说什么好了… I don't even know what to say...
好吧 我想说 在所有的方案中… Well, I say that out of all of those...
还是第一个最可行 The first one makes the most sense
“2-2-3”制 我同意 The 2-2-3, I agree
这样我们就不需要做朋友了 This way we don't have to be bros
但肯尼还是能过最好的生活 But Kenny still has the best possible life
“2-2-3”轮班制 2-2-3
这太荒谬了… That's so ridiculous...
但是可能是有效的 That it just might work.
我们刚刚在现场收到了一个令人悲伤的新闻 We've just received devastating news here
在南方公园小学 At South Park Elementary
看起来社区好少年… It appears that the Kommunity Kidz...
正在分裂 Are breaking up
他们曾要求人们“在如此困难的时期 They have asked for people to 'respect their privacy
尊重他们的隐私” In these difficult times',
现在看来疫情对他们所造成的 And it appears that the strain of this pandemic
就像来自汤姆你这种人的压力 实在太多了 From people like you, Tom, was just too much
-噢 又来了 又来了 -嗯 就是又来了！ -Oh, here we go, here we go. -Yeah, here we go!
你就是对他们看不顺眼 你这杠精！ You just couldn't leave 'em alone could you, ya prick?!
-好了 克里斯 我们就… -他们是因为你才分裂的 还有你傻逼的… -Okay, Chris, let's just... -They broke up 'cause of you and your stupid --
等等 等等 等等 Wait. Wait, wait wait
等一下 那是什么？ Wait a minute. What is this?
汤姆 有一个社区好少年的成员在学校出现了 Tom, one of the Kommunity Kidz has shown up to the school...
还带着疫苗！ With the vaccines!
终于来了！我可以打上疫苗了！ Finally! I'm gonna get my shot!
好了 小可爱Q们 就是现在了！ Alright, QTies, this is it!
准备好迎接风暴吧！ Prepare for the storm!
老兄 你在干什么？ Dude, what are you doing?
你这样会死的 You're gonna get yourself killed
我们已经没必要这么拼了 凯尔 This isn't our fight anymore, Kyle
我们出来是要做点事情的 We set out to do something
我不会现在就让我们的兄弟情谊被疫情击败 I'm not letting our broship fall to the pandi just yet
好吧… Alright...
那让我们把这些疫苗给老师们吧 Then let's get those vaccines to the teachers
好 就这么办 Okay, let's do this
嘿！ Hey!
大家等一下！ Hold on a second everybody!
我觉得我能… I think I can...
我能帮得上忙！ I think I can help things out here!
那特么是个什么？ What the fuck is that?
是他！天选之子！ It's him! The Chosen one!
他是来拯救我们所有人的 He's come to save us all
就像网上先知的预言一样 Like the prophecy foretold on the Internet!
等一下 他是天选之子？ Wait, he's the Chosen one?
听我说！大家都听我说 Listen! Listen, everybody
我…我觉得我欠你们一个大大的道歉 I -- I think I owe you all a big apology
我来到这里的时候期望着 I came in here expecting
所有的事情都能回到正轨 Everything to just go back to normal
但…我们最近都经历了 But... we've all been through
一裤衩子众所周知的糟心事 The proverbial butthole of hardships lately
我觉得我们能奇迹般地重新成为朋友 I thought we could all just magically be friends again
但是人际关系是很脆弱的东西 But relationships are very fragile things
在危急时刻我们最需要彼此 And in time of crises when we need each other most
那恰好是我们分离最远的时候 It's sometimes when we grow furthest apart
但通过这一切 怀特先生 But through it all, Mr. White here has taught me
给我上了一堂很重要的课 A very important lesson
那就是确保你在最有权力的人的一边 Make sure you're on the side of the people with the most power
于是 我和一些非常有权力的人 And so, I've worked out a deal
达成了一个交易… With some pretty powerful people...
行了 男孩们 做你们该做的事情吧！ Alright, boys, do your thing!
啊啊啊！ Ahhhhh!
是以色列航空 It's Air Israel
载着足够镇上所有成年人注射的疫苗！ With enough vaccines for every adult in town!
嘿 加里森 干的好啊！ Hey, Garrison! Good job!
没错！你是个大好人 加里森！ Yeah! You're alright, Garrison!
噢 天哪… Oh, geez...
谢了 各位 Thanks, everybody
走啊 兄弟们 我们快进去 Well, come on you guys! Let's get inside!
尼尔森老师？！我们来了！ Ms. Nelson?! We're here!
孩子们！孩子们！你们做到了！ Boys! Boys, you made it!
我们当然做到了！ Of course we made it!
因为我们的兄弟情能战胜一切！ 'Cause our broship can survive anything!
你好啊 尼尔森老师！ Hello, Ms. Nelson!
我们拿到你的疫苗了 尼尔森老师 We got your vaccination for you, Ms. Nelson
孩子们…你们真的做到了 Boys... you really did it
我…我不敢相信 I -- I can't believe it
有一段时间 我以为我… For a while there, I thought I --
对不起 Excuse me
我以为我就要… I thought I wasn't gonna --
天哪 对不起 Gosh excuse me
作为一名教师 尼尔森女士为她的学生 As a teacher, Ms. Nelson did everything she could
付出了一切 For her students
所以这显得非常不公 她… So it seems even more unfair that she...
仅仅因为晚了几天注射疫苗 Was just a few days late getting the vaccine
而死于新冠病毒 Before she died of COVID
现在 加里森先生将永远 And now as Mr. Garrison takes over teaching
接过尼尔森女士的教鞭 For Ms. Nelson permanently...
我认为我们都应在这一刻说出… I think we should all take a moment to say...
嘿！南方公园的镇民们 我们做到了！ Hey! The rest of us made it, South Park!
我们度过了这该死的疫情 We're on the other side of this damn thing!
我们这些大人是时候丢掉这些口罩 And so it's time for adults to screw these masks
开一个有2021年样子的派对！ And party like it's 2021!
※背景音乐是奥斯蒙德兄弟的《Down By The Lazy River》
*顺着慵懒的河流* Down by the lazy river
*我们一大家人* One big family
*就算你孤单一人 那也不会太久* If you're all alone, you won't be long
*带上你的吉他来一起放声歌唱* Just bring your guitar and sing your song
嘿 看看沃尔格林！ 没人去那儿了！ Hey, look at Walgreens! Nobody's going!
没错！那地方以前挺酷 不过现在逊毙了！ Yeah! That place used to be cool and now it's lame!
我们的疫情特售还未结束 So we still have some of the pandemic special
而疫苗特售也即将到来！ But the vaccination special is about out!
都试试吧 苦日子就要过去咯 伙计们！ Try 'em both -- the season is about over, guys!
回你们的养老院去吧 老人们！ Back inside the retirement home, old people!
好玩的地方又归我们了 All the fun places are ours again!
噢啊啊！ Aw!
成人都已接种疫苗！成人都已接种疫苗！ Adults are all vaccinated! Adults are all vaccinated!
好吧 我猜就这样了… Well, I guess this is it...
是啊 我猜这样对所有人都好 Yeah. I guess it is what's best for everybody
你们在说啥？ What are you guys talking about?
一切都会好起来的 肯尼 我们周一见 Everything's gonna be okay, Kenny. I'll see you on Monday
我星期四会来接你 肯尼 哈？ And I'll come pick you up on Thursday, Kenny. Huh?
嘿 我希望你们都一切顺利 好吗？ Hey, I wish you guys all the best, huh?
谢谢 我会好的 Thanks. I'll be fine
我已经有了一些新的兄弟 我在和他们混呢 I already have some new bros I'm hanging out with
嘿 卡特曼！ Hey, Cartman!
-什么事？ -老兄 这周末丽家餐厅要重新营业了 Yeah? Dude they're reopening Casa Bonita this weekend
你和我们一起来吗？ Do you wanna come with us?
丽家？！太好了 我会去的！ Casa Bonita?! Hell yeah, I'll come!
哦 等一下！我不能去！ Oh, wait! I can't!
这周末我特么已经砸在肯尼身上了！ I have fuckin' Kenny this weekend!
该死！ Shit!
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很高兴与你们合作… Nice doing business with you...
你们这些杀小孩的恋童癖 You little child-murdering pedophiles
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获取剧集资料，下载更全好果汁，请访问：
1、zh.southpark.wikia.com （需科学上网）
2、coloradotownpxy.xyz/zh（可直接访问）
本字幕仅供学习交流 禁止用于商业盈利