小丑和哈莉真是太好嗑了 Oh, crazy about Joker and Harley.
我听说他们在尝试开放性关系 I heard they tried an open relationship thing,
大家都知道只有基佬才能玩得转这一套的 which everybody knows only works for gay men.
你的八卦都让我无暇专注于我的宏伟计划了 Your idle gossip distracts me from my master plan.
咖啡是我命
我要击溃蝙蝠侠 Break the Batman.
惩罚哥谭的混乱 Punish Gotham for its transgressions,
站在高高的白骨山上 and stand atop the mountain of skulls
再转身离开 left in my wake.
-反正我听说哈莉... -早上好 - Anyway, I heard Harley-- - Morning.
-你还好吗 -很好 为什么会不好 - How are you? - Fine. Why wouldn't I be?
因为哈莉甩了你 Because Harley dumped you.
你知道的人人在说是哈莉甩了我吗 You know? People are saying that Harley dumped me?
拜托 算了 我不在乎 Please! You know what? I don't even care.
我希望她一切都好 I wish her well.
艾薇 我不是催你 Ivy, no rush,
但是霍伊·曼德尔正在演示 but Howie Mandel's only showing
怎么把感恩节剩菜 how to turn Thanksgiving leftovers
变成耶稣降生的场景 into an entire nativity scene.
天啊 等等 什么 Oh, my God! Wait, what?
烫烫烫 Hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot.
接下来 我要教你们 Next, I'm gonna show you
怎么用土豆泥做圣母玛利亚 how to make a mashed potato Virgin Mary.
不过首先 But first,
请欢迎我今天的特别搭档 please welcome my, uh, surprise co-host.
你们都知道他是犯罪界的小丑王子 Uh, you know him as the clown prince of crime.
大家欢迎 小丑 Let's give it up for the Joker!
-该死 -该死 - Shit! - Damn it.
准备好 美国观众们 Get ready, America.
霍伊有话很想对你们说 Howie's got something he's dying to tell you.
不不不不 不要炸霍伊 Oh, no, no, no, no, no. Not Howie!
你们知道什么很愚蠢吗 You know what's stupid?
正是在下 我在昨天的节目中戏谑地暗示 Me, for playfully implying on yesterday's show that
著名犯罪情侣档 the celebrity villain couple,
"丑女"组合已经不复存在了 formerly known as "JoQuinn" is no more.
谢谢你 霍伊 Thanks, Howie.
当我甩掉那个可怜 悲惨 她叫什么来着... When I dumped poor, sad, what's her name...
-她就在这里 -弗兰克 - She's right over here. - Frank.
我向她保证会尊重她的意愿 I promised I would respect her wishes
保持完全的缄默 to drift into the darkness of total anonymity.
顺便 我们的情侣名是 And for the record, our couple name was...
-"小丑" -这骗子想要在电视上 - "Joker." - Oh, that liar trying to blow up
炸掉最优秀和最清白的脱口秀主持人 the cleanest and nicest talk show host in television!
别管他 他在引你上钩 Just ignore him. He's baiting you.
这不值得你生气 It's not worth getting angry over.
抱歉 我们今天的时间要结束了 霍伊 Sorry, but that's all the time we have today, Howie.
说到时间 And speaking of time,
你的时间也快到了 yours is running out.
我要一个很勇敢的试衣女孩 I need a very brave wardrobe girl!
上帝啊 小哈 Jesus, Harls.
所以我才不把好的电视拿出来 This is why I don't put the good TV out.
好的电视 你藏在哪里了 Good TV? Where you hiding that bad boy?
如果他觉得我会这么就此消失 If he thinks I'm just gonna fade away into obscurity,
那他就是根本不知道是怎么回事 he doesn't know what's coming.
谁在乎呢 你现在做得很好 Who cares? You're doing great.
你有一套帅气的新行头 你开始冥想了 You got a killer new outfit, you started meditating.
我还没开始 我只是下载了应用 I haven't started yet. I just downloaded the app.
那算是第一步 That's a first step.
你是一个坚强 独立的女性 You're a strong, independent woman
你不在乎其他人会怎么想 who doesn't care what other people think.
对 谁会在乎小丑 Right! Who cares what Joker
还有他那愚蠢的毁灭军团是怎么想的 and his stupid Legion of Doom buddies think.
没错 好样的 Exactly! Preach!
我要亲自让他们看看我有多不在乎 Hell, I'll show them in person how little I care.
什么 不 你在干什么 What? No. What are you doing?
-登录小丑的日历 -天啊 失控了 - Logging into Joker's calendar. - Oh, God, we're off the rails.
不 看看会怎么样 No, let it play out.
明天在哥谭铸币厂有一次 Oh, hey, there's a party at the Gotham Mint
毁灭军团的会议 with the Legion of Doom guys tomorrow!
要是他想公开干我 Oh, if he wants to fuck with me in public,
我就干回去 I will fuck right back!
-拜托不要 -拜托一定要 - Please do not do this. - Please do that shit.
我要让这些人看看 I'm just gonna show those guys
没有他们 我能多厉害 how awesome I'm doing without him.
绝对会很有意思的 It'll be so fun!
你说不定还能认识个帅哥 用你的爱情魔药 And you can meet a hot guy and use your cool love potion.
这不是爱情魔药 这是我的蒸馏信息素 This isn't a love potion. It's my distilled pheromones.
这会让男人迷恋我 It makes men infatuated with me
然后把他们变成植物 要了他们的命 and then kills them by turning them into plants.
对 就是爱情魔药 Right, a love potion.
-拜托 和我一起去吧 -不 - Please come with me. Please! - No.
-去吧 去吧 去吧 -别闹 - Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. - Stop.
-弗兰克 闭嘴 别说了 -去吧 去吧 - Frank, shut up. Saying no again. - Do it. Do it. Do it.
什么 别再说"去吧" What? Stop saying "do it."
-去吧 去吧 -好吧 好 - Do it, do it, do it. - Fine. Yes.
该死 霍伊炸了 Oh, shit. Howie exploded.
不 不要炸霍伊 No! Not Howie.
-小丑 你这个混蛋 -那是我的手机... - Joker, you son of a bitch! - That's my phone, uh...
哈莉·奎因 第一季第二集
哥谭铸币厂 欢迎
成年礼快乐 约书亚
约书亚·科波特 成年礼
你知道这是儿童派对吗 Did you know that this party was for children?
我现在知道了 I do now.
严格来说 有个男孩今天变成男人了 Although, technically, one boy becomes a man today.
你是我侄子成年礼请的舞者吗 Are you one of the dancers for my nephew's bar mitzvah?
原创翻译 双语字幕
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天啊 哈莉 Jesus, Harley!
小丑甩了你以后 这么快就堕落了 Rock bottom came fast as the Joker dumped you.
翻译 小酸奶
是她甩了他 Uh, she dumped him,
你闻上去一股虾屎味 让一让 and you smell like shrimp shit. Excuse us.
校对 小酸奶
-我们应该离开 -不不不不 - We should leave. - No, no, no, no, no.
军团的大人物都在这里 All the Legion bigwigs are here.
我可以让他们看看 I came to show 'em how great
时间轴 无关风粤
我现在和将来会干出怎样的事业 I'm doing and I am gonna!
这不是你的揭幕派对 This isn't your coming out party.
这是一个13岁男孩的出柜派对 It's a 13-year-old boy's coming out party.
后期 8T
很多人都都是在派对上 Look, a lot of people made
给自己打响了名气 a name for themselves at parties.
贝恩就是在猜谜之夜 Bane, he decided to blow up
总监 小酸奶
决定炸掉哥谭体育馆 Gotham Stadium during Trivia Night.
狂野炸鸡
达拉斯牛仔 Oh, the Dallas Cowboys.
不对 Incorrect.
钢人队在歌坛体育馆 The Steelers have won
赢得的比赛最多 the most games at Gotham Stadium.
我要炸掉哥谭体育馆 I'm gonna blow up Gotham Stadium.
好吧 但是只要你别丢下我 Fine, just don't leave me alone.
不然某些三流恶人就会来找我搭讪 Or some like D-list villain will hit on me
或者和我一起干一票 or ask to do a heist with me
我们等得越久...好吧 她走了 and the longer we wait... Okay, she's gone.
风筝人 Kite Man.
什么 什么声音 What? What was that? Whoa.
我刚是听到风中有声音说"风筝人"吗 Did I just hear the wind say "Kite Man?"
我觉得只有你觉得 I think you're alone in that.
上帝啊 Good God.
我安装一个陷阱门都要许可吗 I need a permit for a trap door?
重点就是 The whole point is
没人会知道这个陷阱门的存在 no one is supposed to know about it!
特别是市政 Especially the City.
我要重建这个藏身处 I need this lair rebuilt now.
敲敲门 你是谁 是我 小丑 Knock, knock, who's there? It's me, Joker.
你肯定猜不到谁来成人礼了 You will never guess who's at the bar mitzvah.
上帝啊 贝恩 Jesus, Bane!
我没时间玩猜谜游戏 等等 I don't have time for a guessing game. Hang on.
那些鞋子的鞋底是黑色的 Those shoes have black soles!
穿上塑料靴 Put plastic booties on.
哈莉正在企鹅侄子的成人礼上 Harley is at Penguin's nephew's bar mitzvah.
她砸了那愚蠢的场子吗 She crashed the stupid thing?
是的 看起来做得很不错 Yeah, seems like she's doing pretty well.
还带了一只老虎 很厉害 Brought a tiger. Pretty cool.
什么 人人都能买到老虎 What? Anyone can buy a tiger.
你知道她有人乳头瘤病毒的吧 You know she has HPV, right?
性感的活人一般都有 Most sexually active adults do.
闭嘴 我马上来 Shut up! I'm on my way.
哥谭铸币厂
这几位麻烦精是谁呢 Uh-oh! Who are these troublemakers?
开玩笑的 我知道是你 稻草人 Nah, I'm just kidding. I know it's you, Scarecrow,
双面人 另一面双面人 Two-Face, other half of Two-Face,
贝恩 Bane.
我要炸掉这个成人礼 I'm going to blow up this bar mitzvah.
奎恩 见到你真好 你都躲哪儿去了 Quinn, great to see you. Where you been hiding?
在你左边 你什么都看不到 On your left, where you can't see shit.
猜猜谁终于想出干掉蝙蝠侠的计划了 So, guess who has a plan to finally get rid of Batman?
正是老娘 Ya girl.
看看谁还没学会爬 Look who's' trying to run
就想跑了 before she can crawl.
你好啊 Mazel tov!
-上帝啊 -你来了啊 丑哥 - Jesus. - Glad you're here, J-Man.
拉把椅子坐 我不介意 Pull up a chair. Doesn't bother me.
好了 谁要牛肉 谁要鸡肉 So, who's goin' beef and who's goin' chicken?
你要滚蛋 You are going somewhere else.
因为这是毁灭军团的桌子 Because this is the Legion of Doom table!
你得去找疯女人桌 Why don't you go find the Crazy Bitch table?
剧透警告 那不是真正存在的 Spoiler: It's not a real table.
我已经暗示了 That was implied!
谁想扔下这个小丑 跟我一起捣毁哥谭 Who wants to ditch this jester and tear up Gotham with me?
笑 跟我笑 Laugh. Laugh with me.
算了 谁需要你们 You know what? Who needs ya?
反正这张桌子离舞池也太远了 This table's too far away from the dance floor anyway.
真不敢相信这群混蛋 Ugh, can you believe those assholes?
算了 我不需要他们 我和你们一起坐 You know what? I don't need 'em. I'll sit with you guys.
不行 这里是约书亚死党桌 Uh, no. This is the Joshua best friends' table.
除非 你就是那个 Unless, you're the girl
约书亚在夏令营指奸的妹子 that Joshua fingerbanged at Camp.
我要是说是 你们会让我坐在这里吗 If I said yes, would you let me sit here?
这是陷阱 约书亚没指奸过任何人 Trick question. Joshua has never fingerbanged anyone.
那么 艾薇艾薇小艾薇 So, Ivy-Ivy-Bo-Bivy.
我能问你一个私人的问题吗 Um, let me ask you a personal question.
你有没有看过哥谭中央公园... Have you ever seen Gotham Central Park...
-在空中吗 -在空中 - From the sky? - From the sky!
你很懂 我在想 Yeah, you get it. Okay, you know, I was thinking,
我们俩应该一起干一票 you and I should do a heist together.
你知道吗 Uh, you know what?
我只是实在厌倦了干票的事 I'm just really kinda worn out from all the heist stuff.
作为一个手无缚鸡之力的女人什么的 It's just kinda hard being such
干这种活真的还是挺困难的 a weak woman and whatnot.
可不是吗 Yeah. I bet.
但是 重活都交给我 Um, but, hey, I'll do all the heavy-lifting.
你根本就不用费心 You don't have to break a nail.
绝对是小风一吹 It'll be a breeze.
小风 没错 Breeze. Yeah.
只是因为我的能力是靠风的 It's just 'cause my powers are wind-based.
你没有能力 You don't have powers!
你只是像全世界所有公园里的 You just have a kite like every kid
所有小孩子一样有个风筝 in every park across the world.
她不想和你合作干一票 And she doesn't want to do a heist with you
因为你很蠢 'cause you're stupid!
-你觉得我很蠢吗 -你不觉得吗 - Do you think I'm stupid? - I mean, don't you?
这些混蛋假装是我的朋友 These assholes always pretended to be my friends.
但他们其实只是...混蛋 But they're really just... assholes!
他们觉得我进不了他们的军团 They think I am not in their league,
但是他们什么都不懂 but they don't know shit!
姑娘们 很高兴你们能来 Hi, girls. So glad you could come.
我知道我们都是坏人 I know we're all evil here,
但也许能在注意一下 but maybe we could put a little sugar
你说的脏话 on that salty language,
为了这些孩子们 you know, for the kids.
对不起 科波特太太 Sorry, Mrs. Cobblepot.
下次不会了 抱歉 Yeah, never again. Sorry.
哥们 我们要离开这里 Dude, we got to get the fuck out of here.
不行 我不会放弃 Hell, no. I'm not giving up.
我会让这些军团的人看看 I'll show these Legion guys
我能做一些他们根本做不到的事 I can do something not even they can!
在这里 有什么是他们这群人 What's one thing in this room,
根本没有胆子尝试的事 none of them ever had the balls to try?
水果沙拉吗 The fruit salad?
还有更厉害的 Even worse.
我要抢劫哥谭铸币厂 I'm gonna rob the Gotham Mint.
不能夹断面 No cuts!
好了 别闹了 我们现实一点 All right, Stop. Let's get real for a second.
哥谭铸币厂牢不可破 The Gotham Mint is impenetrable.
他们自信到 They're so confident,
有胆子把中庭租给毁灭军团 they rented the atrium out to the Legion of Doom.
我一定要这么做 好吗 Look, I'm doing this thing, all right?
-如果蝙蝠侠出现呢 -我就杀了他 - What if Batman shows up? - I'll kill him.
-逃跑用的车呢 -我偷一辆 - Where's the getaway car? - I'll steal one.
-你把钱放在哪里 -看看四周 - Where will you put all the money? - Look around.
每个小孩都有一个包 Every kid's wearing a backpack.
听着 艾薇 Gah! Look, Ivy,
你说不可能的所有原因 all the reasons you said it can't work
都是我必须要这么做的理由 are exactly the reasons I gotta do it!
他们可能不喜欢我 They might not like me,
但是他们绝对要对我放尊重 but they will respect the shit out of me.
好吧 去吧 去把钱偷了 All right, fine. Just go. Go steal the money.
但是行行好 别把我一个人丢在这里 Just do me one favor, okay? Don't leave me alone here,
因为... because... Oh!
派对真无聊 对吧 Party's a drag, huh?
我应该戒掉的 但我就是不行 I really should quit, but, I just can't.
走开 弱不禁风的小毛孩 Go away, fragile child.
我们离开这个地方 Hey, how about we ditch this shindig
去看13岁以上才能看的电影吧 and sneak into a PG-13 movie?
我的爱情魔药 My love potion?
我偷了你的果汁 分给这些孩子们了 I stole your juice and I gave it to these kids.
-没错 -你真是个笨蛋 - Hell yeah! - You're an idiot.
你拼错"天才"了 Ooh, you mispronounced "genius."
不 那种药会让人爱上我 No, that potion makes people fall in love with me
然后再杀死他们 and then kills them.
-什么 -没错 你以为呢 - What? - Yes! What did you think,
你这个风筝变态 you kite-fucking freak?
我的名字可是毒藤女 My name is Poison Ivy.
该死 所以我才坚持只用风筝 Damn! See, this is why I stick to the kites.
多简单 So simple.
保险库肯定就在附近 The vault must be around here somewhere.
找到了 Bingo.
我们要在这些孩子们都死掉之前拿到解药 We gotta get an antidote before these kids die.
就在我家 在城里的另一头 It's in my apartment across town,
我们要赶紧去那里 so we need to get there quick.
和风筝一样快吗 Quick as a kite?
-天啊 -天气允许的情况下 - Oh, God. - Weather permitting.
好吧 按下按钮吧 Fine, hit the button.
外面在下雨吗 Is it raining out?
我进来的时候还是有点阴 It looked a little overcast when I came in.
闭上你的嘴吧 走吧 Oh, shut the fuck up. Let's go.
让我看看我的手机 ...look at my phone here.
不 我觉得没问题 No, I think we're good.
我的鸡肉和橡胶似的 Ugh! My chicken is rubbery.
你的牛肉看上去不错 Mmm, your beef looks good.
好吧 Uh, fine.
我可能还要吃呢 Ah, ah, I might finish that.
好了 我们到底在干什么 Oh, well, then, what are we doing?
大家好 今天是 Hey, everybody, let's give it up
约书亚的成人礼 for Joshua's bar mitzvah, huh?
这对我来说非常特别 It was very special for me.
我就是在那时候意识到我的梦想 It was when I realized it was my dream
是成为犯罪之王 to become a crime lord.
今天 我便把这个梦想强加给你 So today, I force that dream on to you.
好了 约书亚 Okay, Joshua ...
准备好迎接你的第一票 Get ready for your first caper.
祝你打败那些警卫 Good luck fighting off the guards,
也就是 also known as
哥谭滑稽马戏的精锐变装者 Gotham Chucklehut's finest improvisers...
哥谭GH
并偷走那一大堆钱 and stealing that cash-ola,
也就是... otherwise known as...
约书亚币 Joshua Bucks?
不 Oh, no!
去吧 约书亚 我的天啊 Go, Joshua... Oh, my God!
你好 小约 恭喜 Hey, Joshy, mazel tov.
真是太棒了 This is fantastic.
你可能不会笑 You're probably not laughing
因为你每次搞砸后场面都是这样的 because this is sort of how you screw up.
你毁掉了成人礼 You ruined the bar mitzvah.
还进行了即兴表演 And crippled an improv troupe!
演出到此结束 伙计们 And that's our show, folks!
我来 I got this.
说晚安吧 小布丁 Say good night, puddin'.
你觉得这能... You think this is gonna...
阻止我吗 stop me?
她听上去都很像你 She even sounds like you.
我不觉得...我听上去... Oh, I don't think... Do I sound like...
可能人永远听不到自己真正的声音吧 You never hear your own voice, I guess.
有时候 我会飞到 Sometimes, I just fly
一个安静的地方进行思考 to have a quiet place to think.
让我的各种想法随风生长 You know, just really let my thoughts just run wild.
各种 还有很多吗 Thoughts? Plural?
好了 我去拿解药 All right, I'll get the antidote.
你不要碰任何东西 And you know, just don't, like, touch anything.
好了 我们走吧 All right, let's boogie.
风筝人 Kite Man?
不 Oh, no.
风筝人 没错 Kite Man. Hell yeah!
你在干什么 What are you doing?
准备好做爱 Getting ready to have sex.
为什么 Why?
因为在完美的约会后 就会做爱 Because after a great date, you usually have sex.
抱歉 我本来想说点什么的 Sorry, sorry. I was gonna say something,
但是我想看看会怎么发展 but I wanted to see how all this played out.
闭嘴 弗兰克 Oh, shut up, Frank.
请你把衣服都穿回去 I'm gonna need you to put your clothes back on
因为这不是约会 because this was not a date.
不好意思 如果这不是约会 Excuse me, if this wasn't a date,
那你为什么要带我来你家 why did you bring me back to your place?
为了拿解药 For the antidote!
我以为那是一个暗示 Oh, I thought that was just a line.
-我为什么要暗示你 -我不知道 - Why would I use a line on you? - I don't know!
你为什么非要我一起来 I mean why would you even have me come?
出租车明明更快 I mean, a cab would've been faster.
你知道 我知道 大家都知道 You know it, I know it, we all know it.
天啊 穿好衣服 Jesus, get dressed.
成人礼快乐
把歌停了 不许给哈莉放舞曲 Cut the song. No Horah for Harley.
想要阻止我踢你的屁沟 Hey, it's gonna take more than a souped up parasol
一把小皱伞可不够 to keep me from kicking your ass,
你这只不会飞的胖企鹅 you fat flightless bird.
真是一张会说话的小嘴 The mouth on her.
想要变成男人 没有比... What better way to become a man than by--
让我碰你的雨伞吗 哇 Ooh, than touching your umbrella? Whoo.
我等了很久了 Yes, I've been waiting for this!
有什么遗言吗 Any last words
我要杀死你这个金发 愚蠢 恶臭... before I kill your dumb blonde, stupid, smelly...
形容词太多了 That's too many adjectives.
白痴的混蛋 ...idiot ass?
约书亚 你可要瞄准了 Hey, Joshua, make sure you aim it
我的脑袋 directly at my head,
因为你可不想 'cause you don't want to miss
在你的家人与朋友面前打歪了 in front of your friends and family.
我不会打歪 I won't miss.
我可不敢说 I don't know.
这颤抖的手指可不是这么说的 That trembly finger's telling a different story.
这不是颤抖 It's not trembly.
我只是...我从来没有开过雨伞 I just... I've never shot an umbrella before.
我敢打赌你肯定有很多没干过的事 I bet there are a lot of things that you've never done
比如喝啤酒 like drunk a beer.
我经常喝啤酒 I drunk a beer, like all the time.
我总是喝啤酒 I always drunk beers.
你肯定还相信有圣诞老人吧 I bet you still believe in Santy Claus.
我不信 我是犹太人 今天 我是男人了 I don't! I'm Jewish and today, I'm a man.
没错 Oh, that's right,
我忘了我是在和一个刚成为男人的人说话 I forgot I'm talking to a newly grown man.
毕竟 你已经指奸过别人了 I mean, after all, you've already fingerbanged somebody.
-等等 什么 -你有吧 - Wait, what? - I mean, you have, haven't you?
你不会在这种重要的里程碑事件上撒谎吧 You didn't lie about such an important milestone, right?
-没错 当然有过 -那你确定吗 - Yeah, it happened. - Are you sure?
我...我不知道 I... I don't know.
那么 我显然是对于一些信号误会了 So, um, obviously, I misread some signals.
希望你别觉得我脱衣服很... I hope me taking off my clothes didn't come across as...
恐怖吗 的确 没有 就是有 Creepy? It did. It didn't. Did.
好吧 嗯 不 我道歉 Right. Yeah, no. I apologize.
我只是 我从来没有和你这种水平的女人 It's just, I have never been alone with a woman
单独相处 of your caliber.
-你不用... -你的眼睛 你的微笑 - Oh, you don't have to-- - Your eyes, your smile...
你那光滑发亮的... Your silky, shimmering...
天啊 算了 Oh, God. You know what?
坚强的女子...气概 那... Strong woman... osity? The...
我还是闭上嘴巴吧 I'm gonna be quiet for a while.
其实 从天上看公园 You know, it is kind of cool
的确还是挺不错的 seeing the park from the sky.
当你不说话的时候 I mean, when you're not talking,
我们只是在天空庄严地滑翔 and we're just kinda soaring majestically,
你也不算太赖 you're not so bad.
没错 Hell yeah.
该死 Oh, shit.
下面出事了 Something's going on down there.
我...我不知道 I... I don't know.
那是在夏令营 在晚上 It was at camp, at night.
只有我和她 灯光很暗 It was me and her and it was dark.
我绝对做了点什么 I definitely did something.
约书亚 Oh, Joshy.
你真的觉得你连用手指干女孩都没干过 Do you really think you're ready to kill someone
就准备好杀人了吗 if you've never even finger blasted a girl?
你说得对 You're right.
我没有准备好 I'm not ready.
我就说我们应该给他买他要的那个 I told you we should've gotten him the dollhouse
洋娃娃屋 奥斯瓦尔德 like he asked, Oswald.
那不是洋娃娃屋 It's not a doll house!
那是能发出 It's an army base
尖叫声的军事基地 with sound effects of real screams
我只想要那个 and it's the only thing I wanted!
你死定了 奎因 You're dead, Quinn.
没错 Hell, yeah!
他们分蛋糕了吗 Hey, did they do cake yet?
还没有 Not yet.
我以为我落地会更酷 I though that was gonna be way cooler.
哈莉 Harley!
你做不了主演 You're not a solo act.
你只是一个打手 一个狗腿 You're a sidekick, an afterthought.
没有人会把你放在眼里 No one is ever going to take you seriously.
承认你没有我就什么都不是 Admit you're nothing without me
我就放你活着离开这里 and you walk away alive.
否则就去死吧 Or you can die.
这个选择简单 Well, easy choice.
成人礼很不错 恭喜 恭喜 Uh, lovely bar mitzvah. Mazel, mazel.
-你要走了吗 -不 - Are you leaving? - Ha, no.
我什么都不会承认 I ain't admitting shit!
伙计们 Boys?
-我搞定双面人 -我搞定稻草人 - I got Two-Face. - I got Scarecrow.
我... I, um...
上帝啊 Oh, dear God.
你突然出现了 You're looming.
好吧 那我搞定... Um, all right, well, I'll take, um...
你不介意的话 能不能让一让 If you don't mind, if you could scooch just a little.
啊 现场协调员 Boom! On-site coordinator.
看上去有点弱 绝对不会... Looking kinda brittle there. Won't see it comi--
我想回家 I wanna go home.
艾薇 枪 Ive, gun!
没问题 Got it.
我们走 Let's get out of here.
不 我们要战斗 也许风筝人能帮忙 No, let's fight. Maybe Kite Man can help.
贝恩 Bane!
不要再跟风筝人闹了 Quit dicking around with Kite Man
赶紧抓住她们俩 and get those two.
但是他在打我 But he was attacking me.
用什么 风筝吗 With what? A kite?
照我说的做 你这个愚蠢的疯子怪物 Just do what I tell you, you dumb, freakish monster.
贝恩 你为什么让他这么使唤你 Bane, why are you letting him talk to you like that?
说实话 你们所有人 In fact, why do any of you
为什么都让他这么使唤你们 let him talk to you like that?
他连超能力都没有 He doesn't even have powers!
他唯一的超能力就是强迫你们照他说的做 His only power is bullying you into doing what he wants.
我很清楚 她这么控制了我好几年 I should know. He did it to me for years.
别听她的 她什么都不是 Don't listen to her. She's nothing!
她说的很有道理 She makes a good point.
我不喜欢你叫我怪物 I don't like how you called me a monster.
听起来的确很扎心 Yeah, that was pretty harsh.
天啊 那只是一种表达 Oh, my God! It's just an expression.
我们再来聊聊晚餐 Also, let's talk about dinner.
我早就点了牛排 I selected the beef well in advance
你却抢走了 and you stole it from me.
你说过你甚至都不想 You said you didn't even
来这个"愚蠢的闹剧" want to come to this "stupid thing."
我也这么觉得 My feelings exactly.
这是小约书亚生命中重要的一晚 This is a monumental night for young Joshua.
我是小丑 好吗 I'm the Joker, all right?
我是在开玩笑 I was joking, okay?
天呐 我来亲自杀了哈莉 Oh, my God! I'll kill Harley myself.
艾薇 你能不能 让一让 Ivy, if you could just, you know, move over,
让我好杀死你的朋友 so I could just kill your friend.
当然了 除非我死了 Absolutely. Over my dead body.
女人的闺蜜情啊 Ugh! Female friendships.
等等 Hold on.
我的合同商打电话给我了 I'm getting a cell call from my contractor.
什么 我是小丑 再说一遍 随便吧 What? This is the Joker. Come again. Yeah, whatever.
什么叫他们一定要等到十点再开始 What do you mean they're not going to start till 10:00?
你敢信吗 Ugh! Can you believe this?
他们说那是住宅区 They're calling it a residential zone.
明明就是在一个破码头尽头的 It's an abandoned amusement park
废弃游乐园 at the end of a rotting pier!
我...我马上过来 I'll, uh... Yeah, coming over right now.
这事还没有完 Let's put a pin in this.
你懂的 You understand.
-我们可以走了吗 -嗯 - So, are we good to leave now? - Yeah.
真不敢相信你说服我来这里了 I can't believe you talked me into coming to this.
别忘了你们的派对礼品 Don't forget your party favors.
谢谢你 科波特太太 Thank you, Mrs. Cobblepot.
真是好姑娘 Aw, such sweet girls.
你现在知道 So, do you realize now
你不用向任何人证明 that you don't have to prove to anyone
你有多棒了吧 how awesome you are?
嗯 除了毁灭军团 Yes, except for the Legion of Doom.
我一定要加入毁灭军团 I need to get into the Legion of Doom.
什么 发生了这么多事 What? After all of this,
你为什么还想要加入那个俱乐部 why would you wanna be a part of that club?
那些家伙都是一群混蛋 Those guys are such dicks.
不 不全是 No, not all of 'em.
我们走的时候 贝恩说"好样的 姑娘" When we were leaving, Bane said, "You go, girl!"
不 他是含糊不清地说"吸吸乐" No, he distinctly said, "Ooh, go-gurt.
什么 他们还有吸吸乐 该死 Ooh, what, they had Go-GURT? Oh, man.
艾薇 听着 有名望的超级恶人 Ivy, listen. Anyone who is a respected supervillain
都是毁灭军团的成员 is in the Legion of Doom.
只有加入才能说明你成功了 That's when you know you've made it.
如果小丑能加入 那我也可以 If Joker can get in, so can I!
所以我就要这么做 So that is what I'm gonna do.
你要做的事 What you need to do
是让这些13岁的臭小子们离开这间公寓 is get these 13-year-old boys out of this apartment.
他们开始生根了 They're starting to take root.
好了 孩子们 Ah! Okay, boys.
我手上有 So, I got the antidote
能把你们变回人类的解药 to turn you back into humans, okay?
但是要起效就只能 But the only effective way of doing it
用我的唾液 is when my saliva interacts...
和你们的唾液混合 with your saliva.
那是亲吻吗 So, is this a kiss?
不 不是亲吻 No, it's not a kiss.
而是解药输送系统 It is an antidote delivery system
仅此而已 and nothing more.
等今晚结束后 You will still be sexless nerds
你们依然是没有性生活的死宅 by the time the night is over, okay?
然后... And...
好了 Yuck.
这是走个程序 This is procedural, okay?
我已经亲过你了 伙计 Yeah, I kissed you already, buddy.
我还是觉得自己有部分是树 Yeah, I'm still a little bit tree.
-滚 给我出去 -小子滚啊 - Yeah, fuck off, get out of here. - Yeah, fuck off, kid.