去死吧 贱人 Dasvidaniya suka!
你会讲俄语吗 You speak Russian?
我只会两句 I can only say two things.
这麦片免费吗
还有那一句 And the other one.
太好了 Yes!
上帝啊 这是在逗我吗 Oh, God! Are you shittin' me?
小丑 Joker!
-这票是我的 -曾经是 - This is my score. - Well, it was.
但现在是我的了 But it's mine now.
你能抢先我得手的唯一原因 The only reason you're getting this and I'm not,
是你有一群任你差遣的傻蛋[打手] is you got a bunch of goons that do whatever you say.
不对 That's not true!
打手 把哈莉扔出去 Goons, throw Harley out.
遵命 老大 Whatever you say, boss.
我需要一个团队 I need a fucking crew.
不 你需要洗个澡 No, you need a shower.
哈莉·奎茵
你没有搞到弹头吗 So, you didn't get the warhead?
没有 小丑有团队 所以他偷走了 No. Joker stole it 'cause he had a crew.
所有真正的超级坏蛋都有 Like all real supervillains.
我一个人也挺好 所以 I mean, I get by just fine on my own. So...
你的独立自主很能打动我 Your independence is quite inspiring.
-是吗 弗兰克 -我爱你 艾薇 - Oh, can it, Frank. - I love you, Ivy.
小艾 我有时候真的需要帮助 You know, Ive, I could have really used your help out there.
说实话 我觉得团队的作用被夸大了 Honestly, I really think that crews are over-rated.
就好比 You know, it's like,
一些很成功的超级坏蛋都是单干的 some very successful supervillains work alone.
比如这家伙 你看神经博士 Like look at this guy. Look at Dr. Psycho.
就是完美的例子 Perfect example.
神奇女侠对战神经博士
他没有团队 还是能和神奇女侠单挑 Doesn't have a crew, yet still taking on Wonder Woman.
真的厉害 Like a champ.
还是不敢用自己的手跟我战斗吗 神经 Still too scared to fight me with your own hands, Psycho?
这主意可真棒 What a grand idea!
不好意思 你说什么 I'm sorry. What's that?
你希望你的最终遗言是... You really want your last words to be...
真的很疼 你这个** That really hurt, you **!
上帝啊 Holy shit!
看 要是他有团队 Well, see! If he had a crew,
他们就会告诉他应该用B开头的那个词[贱人] that would have told him to use the B word instead.
要是我有团队 我就能用那个弹头来要挟哥谭市 And if I had one, I'd use that warhead to blackmail Gotham
用我的名字命名一条高速路了 into naming a highway after me.
高速公路 好吧 Huh? A highway. All right.
好吧 这我可没想到 Well, you know, that took a weird turn.
你们确定这件事能够平息下去的吧 So you're certain this whole thing is gonna blow over, right?
当然了 出面做几次讲话 Oh, yeah. Sure, yeah. A few talk show appearances...
哭着说你有多爱你的妻子 Cry about how you love your wife.
急冻先生暴露在哥谭水上公园后 It's exactly what we had Mr. Freeze do
我们也是建议他这么做的 when he exposed himself at the Gotham water park.
这事是你们解决的吗 你们真厉害 You guys fixed that? Wow, you're good.
我的"真厉害"是指"真坏" And by good, I mean bad!
好了 Come on!
奎茵女士 我们一直在等你 Ms. Quinn, we've been expecting you.
-谢谢 -我们马上给你物色起来吧 - Thank you. - Let's get you henched up.
这是克朗克 他是个打手 That's Cronk. He's muscle.
你如果不介意类固醇癫狂 他就是最佳人选 If you don't mind crazy roid rage, he's your man.
-教授是个智将 -特别聪明 - The Professor, he's brainy. - So smart.
名字 教授 特殊技能 科学 数学 恶棍学博士 文学 印刷 精巧鼠笼陷阱学术 很有小孩缘 招牌口头禅 这是科学 女士
但取的名字看上去不大聪明的样子 He's not brainy with names though, huh?
天啊 说的真对 Oh, my God, so right.
真不错 Beautiful.
这是烈焰 Meet Blaze!
名字 烈焰 特殊技能 爆炸 抗火 喜欢羽毛状时尚 爬上过聚合山 氪石山和氪星人 招牌口头禅 烈焰开始了
爆炸性的家伙 他震耳欲聋 Explosive. Lotta buzz on him.
吸尽风头 Lotta chatter.
炙手可热 Lotta heat.
没错 你要是今天不要他 Yes, and if you don't take him today,
明天就有七个邀约来抢他 he'll have seven offers tomorrow.
-再见 -我都要了 - Goodbye. - Hell, I'll take 'em all.
我要用我的这支团队击溃小丑 I'll crush Joker with this team behind me.
-我以为你是他的女朋友 -不 - I thought you were his girlfriend. - No.
-我几周前就甩了这垃圾 -你没有回去找他吗 - I dumped that bum weeks ago. - You didn't go back to him?
-就像你以前一样 -不 我现在单干了 - Yeah, like you always do. - No. I'm on my own now.
这些家伙什么时候能开始工作 So, when can these guys start?
-抱歉 这些人没空 -什么时候有空 - I'm sorry. These men are unavailable. - For how long?
名字 烈焰 特殊技能 爆炸 抗火 喜欢羽毛状时尚 爬上过聚合山 氪石山和氪星人 招牌口头禅 烈焰开始了
永远...没空 For... Ever?
对 永远 Yeah, forever.
我不需要你们 我一个都不需要 Well, I don't need ya. I don't need any of ya!
我会组建自己的团队 I'll put together my own crew
愿意跟真正的新星合作的团队 who's excited to work with a real up-and-comer.
要是你和小丑复合 我们的门永远为... If you get back together with Joker, our doors are always--
听好了 Hey! Hey! Hey, you!
厌倦只当一个小喽啰了吗 Are you tired of being a lousy sidekick?
厌倦被殴打 嫌弃 还要充当肉盾了吗 Abused, shit on, used as a human shield?
那就来为我工作吧 Then come work for me.
你将会得到大笔的钱和丰厚的福利 You'll get top dollar, great benefits,
原创翻译 双语字幕
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我绝对不会故意送你去死 and I won't ever, knowingly, send you to your deaths.
翻译 小酸奶
等等 她说的工作 Wait, was she talking about a job
不需要我们跳进必死无疑的地狱传送门吗 where we don't have to jump into hell portals and definitely die?
校对 小酸奶
闭上嘴巴赶紧跳 Oh, just shut up and jump.
我绝对要死了 I'm definitely dying!
我保证绝对会比那好 I promise you it'll be better than that.
时间轴 无关风粤
假如我 我们马上就能干上价值百万的一票 Join me, and we'll be doing million dollar heists in no time.
-谁要加入我 -不行 - Who's with me? - Can't.
后期 8T
-没空 -家里有事 - Busy. - I got a family emergency.
我有事 I have a thing.
总监 小酸奶
-一群混蛋 -不不不不 - Assholes. - No. No. No. No.
在你施展你的女性陷阱之前 Before you open your female trap,
我要先说我是绝对不会为你干活的 no way in hell I'm working for you.
谁问你了 Who asked ya?
你敢信吗 那些男人都拒绝我 Can you believe guy's rejecting me?
女士 我可不知道 Well, ma'am, I don't know nothing about that.
我只是奥克拉荷马的一个农场小子 I'm just a simply farm boy from Oklahoma.
我上有双亲 下有三女四儿和两个实验室 I got two parents, three girls, four boys, two lab mixes,
都在马斯科吉外的一个小农场 both uncut on a small ranch just outside of Muskogee.
-你什么毛病 怪人 -为什么 女士 - What's your problem, weirdo? - Why, Ms...
我没有毛病 因为我其实是... I don't have no problem, because I am actually...
-上帝啊 -我的天啊 - Jeez. - Good, fuckin' God.
我叫泥脸 The name is Clayface.
刚刚惟妙惟俏地扮演了一个 Thespian extraordinaire recently portraying the juicy role
在大城市当酒保的农场小少年 of country boy bartending in the big city.
我以为你是在扮演"一坨屎" I thought you were playing the role of "literal piece of shit."
还没有 Not yet.
-都弄到我头发上了 -我现在才是一坨屎 - Ugh. It's in my hair. - Now I'm a literal piece of shit.
好 Okay.
这是泥脸还是臭脸 Is it Clayface or Fuckface?
风筝人来了 我想去干一票 Hey! Kite Man here. Thinking about doing a caper, gang.
我还不确定 偷点东西或者绑架个什么人吧 Not sure what, might steal something, might kidnap somebody.
我也不好说 I don't know, uh,
得看天气 depending on the weather.
但绝对要用风筝 But Kite will be involved.
-谁来 -我来 冲吧 - Who's in? - I am! Let's do this!
真是不敢相信你 I do not fucking believe this.
然后他们都跟着那个废物风筝人跑了 And then, they all ran off with that loser Kite Man.
可不是 Yeah.
那家伙真是个废物 他有没有提到我的名字 What a loser that guy is. Did he mention my name?
算了 You know what, nevermind.
-但提了吗 -我肯定还漏了点什么 - But did he? - There must be something I'm missing.
-我要怎么让别人为我干活 -她根本不知道 - How do I get people to work for me? - She has no fuckin' idea.
因为这个懒货的活都是植物帮她做的 Because plants do all this shit for her lazy ass.
肯定有人能给我一点内幕消息 There must be someone who can gimme the inside scoop.
宝贝 真正的超级坏蛋 Babe, what real supervillain
愿意乖乖交出他们的行业秘密 is gonna give away their trade secrets?
也许不是"交出" Well, maybe not "give away."
马克西·宙斯
你们想要的超级坏蛋
我是马克西·宙斯 I am Maxie Zeus!
今晚 我将让你们的梦想全部成真 And tonight, I "max" all your dreams come true!
这家伙真是个呆瓜 This guy's such a douche.
抱歉 但是今天没有 I'm sorry, but none of the charming villains
既有魅力性格又好的超级反派 with great personalities
举行宣讲会了 were holding seminars today.
小丑 谜语人 双面人 Joker. Riddler. Two-Face.
他们有什么你没有的东西 What do they have that you don't?
-鸡巴吗 -团队 - A penis? - A crew!
团队
坏蛋单打独斗 A villain goes in alone,
超级坏蛋需要帮手 but a supervillain needs henchmen.
我洗劫1996年的奥林匹克运动会时 When I robbed the 1996 Olympics--
谢谢大家 真好 很有趣 Oh, thank you very much, just lovely. Fun times.
我的团队帮我偷了这些奖牌 My crew helped me steal those medals.
我现在就是睡在一堆金子上 And now I literally sleep on a pile of gold.
艾薇 你听听 睡在金子上 Ivy, you hear that? Sleeps on gold!
说实话 这家伙磕嗨成这样 Honestly, with the amount of coke this guy does,
他睡在哪里都行 I doubt he's sleeping on anything.
团队
我们要怎么招揽打手 So, how does one recruit goons?
打手指南
通过打手中介 Through a henchmen agency,
打手中介
或者从热门的坏蛋... or from popular villain--
不正经酒吧
请说 第三排变戏法的家伙 Yes. The juggler in the third row.
宙斯先生 我这些办法都试了 没有用 Mr. Zeus, I tried those things and they didn't work.
打手指南 打手中介 不正经酒吧
你不能被拒绝阻拦脚步 想想那些大人物 You can't let rejection stop you. Think about the big boys.
达克赛德 卢瑟 马克西 Darkseid. Luthor. Maxie.
-我们轻言放弃吗 -不 - Are we quitters? - No!
你也不该 Neither are you!
好了 我走了 Okay, I'm out.
抱歉 不知道你正忙着 Oh, sorry, sorry. Didn't know you were busy.
不 不 进来吧 No, no. Come in.
只是在放松我的腿 Just letting my legs breathe.
你真的很鼓舞人 You were so inspiring.
如果你不介意的话 If you don't mind,
我有几个问题 I got a couple questions.
我有一个大回答 And I've got one big answer.
性感音乐
这就像那种 Wow. That's just like one of those paintings, you know,
眼睛一直盯着你的话 where the eyes follow you,
-只不过 那是你涂了油的乳头 -悄悄告诉你 - except, nope, it's just your greased-up nipples. - Just between us,
那是我画的 I painted it. Shh.
真诡异 好吧 Weird. So, hey,
我只是想问问你能不能给我一些指点 I was wondering if you'd just gimme some pointers.
我可以给你一个指点 Well, I can certainly give you one.
明白了 你就是个变态混蛋 Ah, got it! So you're just a creepy dick.
-我不会上你 -真的吗 - I'm not fucking you. - Oh, really?
你被赶出了黑市恶人公司 You were laughed out of UTI.
没错 这都传遍了 Yeah! Word gets around.
你永远招不到团队 You'll never get a crew!
因为没有坏热会给女人工作 Because no bad guy will ever work for a woman.
-我的拙见 -我的拙见是 - My two cents. - Then here's mine.
去看泌尿医生吧 恶心的鸡巴不仅侮辱人 See a urologist, 'cause creepy dick wasn't just an insult,
还说明身体有恙 it was a concern.
如果没有坏蛋[男人]愿意和我合作 And if no bad guy will work with me,
也许我不需要坏蛋[男人] then maybe I don't need a "bad guy."
哈莉 我说过了 我单干的 Harley, I told you this, I work alone.
看似单干 Alone-ish.
-别逼我现在开口 -拜托 艾薇 - Don't even get me started right now. - Come on, Ive.
你能控制地球上所有的植物 With your ability to control all plant life on Earth,
再加上我的柔韧度 and my gymnastics,
我们要是组队肯定会所向睥睨 I mean, there's nothing we can't do if we team up.
我说了不行 我有专属风格的 I said no. I mean, I got a brand. You know?
在里面加上柔韧就会变得非常模糊 It's like, adding gymnastics to it, it's a very muddled message.
告诉她真正的理由 你这个大骗子 Tell her the real reason, you lying motherfucker.
天啊 好吧 Oh, God, here we go.
好了 听着 All right, so look,
其实女性超级坏蛋是有看不见的上限 there's a glass ceiling for female supervillains, okay?
人们容忍我们 Like, sure, we're tolerated,
但前提是我们不能太强大 but as long as we don't get too powerful.
-那你是不是太小题大做了 -这个天真的小家伙 - Aren't you being a little dramatic? - Guess whose naive ass
没有听说过寓言皇后的故事 who hasn't heard of the Queen of Fables.
艾薇 开始讲故事吧 我来营造气氛 Go on, Ivy, tell your story. I'll set the mood.
好 谢谢 弗兰克 All right, all right. Thanks, Frank.
很久很久以前 在80年代 有一个 So, a long time ago, way back in the '80s. There was this
寓言皇后
强大的女巫 她被称为寓言皇后 powerful sorceress, right? She's known as the Queen of Fables.
她不想再做男性超级坏蛋的注脚 Fed up of being a footnote to the male supervillains,
她要利用魔力让童话书里的角色都活过来 she decided to turn Gotham into an evil force by using sorcery
将哥谭变成一支邪恶的大军 to pull characters from the pages of storybooks.
后来她有了一支任她差遣的军队 Until she had a whole army at her command.
-然后她怎么了 -你自己去问她吧 - Well, what happened to her? - Ask her yourself.
免税 不是免费
顺便 保释你的冰雪狂热阿姨 FYI, bailin' out your klepto aunt with the snow globe fetish
并不算数 下一位 does not count. Next.
你好 我找寓言皇后 Uh, hey, I'm looking for the Queen of Fables?
近在眼前 宝贝 Just found her, sweetie.
不 你看上面干什么 这边 No. Why you lookin' up there for? Here.
这本书 是我 我被困在这玩意里了 The book. Me. I'm stuck in this bullshit.
我下一个预约20分钟后就到了 什么事 I've got 20 minutes till my next appointment. What's up?
我叫哈莉·奎茵 我是新的超级坏蛋 Hey, my name's Harley Quinn. I'm a new supervillain,
我听说我应该来问问你出了什么事 and I was told I should ask what happened to you.
好吧 坐稳了 亲爱的 该听故事了 All right, buckle up, honey, it's story time.
我的团队也就是一群愚蠢的童话角色 So there I was with my crew, a bunch of dumb storybook things,
然后英雄出现了 真是太可怕了 when the heroes showed up. Ugh! It was a horror.
不不不 超人不会这么做的 No, no, no. There's no way Superman did that.
夸张的手法才好听 I exaggerate to add flavor.
但事实是 But the truth is,
他们用一种前所未有的手段来惩罚我 they punished me in a way no one has ever been punished.
不 No!
他们没有把我像那些男坏蛋一样扔进阿卡姆 Instead of throwing me into Arkham like any male villain,
他们想出了这个鬼点子 they came up with this bullshit.
男人抢银行 就是犯罪大师 I mean, a guy robs a bank, he's a criminal mastermind.
-女人抢银行 -就是疯婊子 - A woman robs a bank-- - She's a crazy bitch.
没错 你想想 Exactly! Think about it.
男性超级坏蛋可以打扮成一个变形的企鹅 A male supervillain can literally look like a deformed penguin,
但是我们却不能盖过他们锋芒半点 but God forbid we outshine them even a little bit,
不然就会永远变成一个该死的税务帐簿 and into the fucking tax book we go, forever.
嗯 你想有多大出息都行 Yeah, you can get as big as you want,
-只要不要比他们大 -你很懂 - as long as you don't get bigger than them. - Yeah. You get it.
你的野心不仅仅只会害了你 And your ambition won't just hurt you,
还会伤害你最在乎的人 it'll hurt the people you care most about.
-4点给老板生日蛋糕 -谢谢 马克 - Birthday cake for the boss at 4:00. - Thanks, Mark.
天 我讨厌这地方 God, I hate this place.
但至少我不用上街头变戏法才能有钱了 But at least I'm not on the streets turning tricks for cash anymore.
谁知道呢 也许你的故事会不一样 Who knows. Maybe your story will turn out different.
我招不到团队 因为没有人信我 I couldn't get a crew 'cause no one believed in me.
所以我只能自己造 So I had to make my own
相信马克这样的蠢货 by believing in stupid little things like Mark.
无意冒犯 马克 No offense, Mark.
-去见寓言皇后不错吧 -她真的很压抑 - Queen of Fables, pretty fun, right? - Oh, she was pretty bleak.
我走的时候 她说"我要上厕所了 Before I left she was like, "I have to use the bathroom.
好了 我尿好了" There, I did it."
你让我去找她是因为你觉得我不行吗 Did you send me to her because you think I can't do this?
不 哈莉 我让你去是因为我知道你可以 No, Harley, I sent you there because I know that you can.
听着 我只是想让你知道你面对着什么处境 Look... I just wanted you to know what you're up against,
因为 我...我爱您 you know, 'cause I, uh... I love ya.
别小题大做 Don't make a thing of it.
只有我的内心深受感动吗 Anybody feel this shit but me?
你们这些人[男人]真无情 A man can't show emotion!
男人 A man?
去你的 艾薇 Fuck you, Ivy.
我很感激你的提醒 Look, I appreciate your warning
但寓言女皇让我意识到 but what Queen of Fables made me realize,
如果我想要团队 is if I want a crew,
我不该去找相信我的渣滓 I shouldn't be looking for scumbags who believe in me,
我应该去找没有人相信的渣滓 I should be looking for scumbags no one else believes in.
好吧 Right, okay.
你从抽烟账簿和变戏法饼干身上 So, so, so, that was the take away from the chain-smoking book,
-就学了这个 -是的 - and the trick turning cookie? - Yeah!
我知道从哪里开始 And I know just where to start.
今日嘉宾 神经博士(名誉扫地) 妻子 巨化女 儿子 赫尔曼
欢迎回来 今天我们请到了神经博士 Welcome back. We have here Dr. Psycho.
他说他是为了说出那个词而道歉 He says he's here to apologize for using the C word.
-仇女小人 -什么 - Woman hater! - What?
仇女 我爱还来不及 Hate women? I cherish them.
这世上没有人比我更尊重女人 No one on God's green Earth respects women like this one.
我知道 我知道 巨化女 I know. I know. Giganta,
姐妹 你有什么感受 girl, how you feelin' about all this?
她很伤心 She is devastated,
这个世界都在攻击一个她认为非常和善 that the world is attacking a man she knows is so kind,
-非常有爱... -我们来听听她自己的意思 - is so loving-- - Let's hear it in her own words.
这就是她的意思 Those are her own words.
我是通灵的 好吗 I'm a telepath, right?
她想 我说 对吗 亲爱的 She thinks it, I say it. Isn't that right, honey?
她说"对" She said "Right."
她没有说"对" She did not say "Right"!
巨化女没有说对
你听到她说"对"了吗 Did y'all hear her say "Right"?
她是在和我说话 She was talking to me!
一个不是你的人 An individual person who exists outside of you!
-好样的 姐妹 -一个被你心灵控制多年 - Go, girl. - A person who, for years you mind controlled...
-别这么做 -以为爱你的人 - Don't do this. - ...into thinking they loved you!
-别这么做 -一个要离开你的人 - Do not do this! - A person who is leaving you!
为什么 回来 你这个该死的** Why, you get back here, you miserable...
该男子再次口吐芬芳 可能还有第三次机会
上帝啊 Holy shit!
他现在应该是这地球上最没人要的家伙了 He just became the least employable person on Earth.
没错 Exactly.
我在想 So, you know, I thought,
也许你能加入我的团队 hey, maybe you should join me and my crew.
加入你 Join you?
我可是大组织的 女士 I'm in the big leagues, mama.
毁灭军团 The L.O.D.
毁灭军团 The Legion of Doom.
绝对不要 Hard pass!
我们无法容忍神经博士说出那种词 We cannot condone Dr. Psycho's use of the C Word,
突发新闻 莱克斯·卢瑟 毁灭军团发声
这并不能代表我们的邪恶门面 as it does not represent our brand of evil.
我们在此将他从毁灭军团 We hereby banish him from the Legion of Doom,
神经出局 卢瑟称 他不符合我们恶人宗旨
欧洲毁灭军团和美国少年毁灭者中除名 Legion of Doom Europe, and The Junior Doomers of America.
我刚刚说绝对不要吗 Did I say hard pass?
我是说弱弱接受 I meant soft accept.
我想加入你 I wanna join your crew.
不是因为我觉得给女性工作 Not because I think working for a female
能有助于修复我有损的形象什么的 will help rehabilitate my ruined image, blah, blah, blah...
而是有其他原因 It's for other reasons.
我不恨女人 I don't hate women!
看起来可不是你说的这样 Kinda seems like you do.
你嘴里说出来的这些扎心的话 Whoo-hoo, the salty language that comes outta your mouth.
很高兴我的珍妈妈听不到 I'm just glad my Mama Jean ain't allowed to hear it.
就连性感的南方酒吧小伙都觉得你是一坨屎 Even hot southern bartender character thinks you're a piece of shit.
但我相信你 我觉得有适合你的角色 But I believe in you, and I think you have a part to play.
你刚刚说"角色" Did you say a "part"?
那你肯定需要... Then you must also require the services of...
该死 又来 Fuck, not again.
-一个演员 -你说得没错 - ...an actor! - You're damn right I do.
你 我和神经 You, me, and Psycho.
即将开启传奇的篇章 This is gonna be the start of something huge.
我们第一个邪恶计划是什么 So, what's our first evil scheme?
火山里藏核弹吗 Is it a nuke in a volcano?
邪恶计划 我可以假扮成 Evil scheme? Oh, a honey pot heist
美味的希拉 色诱哥谭市长 进行美色抢劫 where I seduce Gotham's mayor with my saucy Sheila character?
一场精彩的个人恩怨复仇怎么样 How do you feel about petty, personal vendettas?
不 我觉得让人不安 倒不变态 No, I'd say more unsettling than creepy.
不 很烦人 就是这个词 No, disturbing. That's it. Found it.
好了 我们要偷走这家伙的金牌 All right, we're gonna steal this asshole's gold medals
以及任何能偷走的东西 and anything else we can get out hands on.
-老话说 -"地狱的烈火抵不上 - Like the saying goes... - "Hell hath no fury
受到愚弄的女人的怒火" like a woman scorned."
我是想说"这混蛋自作自受" Oh, I was gonna say, "The prick has it coming."
但是 我更喜欢你这句高大上的 But yeah, I like your fancy way better.
好了 计划是这样的 All right, here's the plan.
我和神经从后面进去 Me and Psycho will go in through the back,
找到他的战利品 一洗而空 find his loot, and clean him out.
泥脸 你去前门敲门 Clayface, you go knock on the front door,
假装邮差 支开他 pretend to be the mailman to distract him.
这个邮差是怎么样的 What do we know about this mailman?
他的梦想 恐惧 他存在的理由 What are his dreams? His fears, his raison d'etre?
谁在乎 他只是一个邮递员 Who gives a shit? You're just a mailman.
太好了 这世界眼中只能看到这样 Brilliant! That's what the world sees.
只是一个邮差 Just a mailman.
但是我们 我们更加清楚 对吗 But we... We know better, don't we?
他是一个被忽视的可怕小男孩 He was a horribly neglected little boy,
他在一个笼子中长大 and he grew up in a cage!
他唯一能听到来自外界的声音 The only time he heard rumblings from the outside world
就是邮差到来的时候 was when the mailman came,
所以他这辈子都梦想着成为一个邮差 which is why he spent his whole life dreaming of being one.
不 都不是 你只是一个邮差 去送信 Yeah, no. None of that. You're just a mailman. Deliver the mail.
她想要完美 是吗 Oh! She demands perfection, doesn't she?
那就给她 And she'll get it.
我脑子里已经构思了一个全新的角色 My mind is awhirl with a delicious new character
-你马上就能看到 -不 我不行了 - who you'll soon meet. - No, I can't even.
是谁竟敢惊扰神 Who dares disturb a living god,
在晚上九点后 after 9:00 P.M.?
这是你的信 爸爸 Here's your mail... Dad.
-爸爸 -很多年前 - Dad? - Years ago
你在一家钢琴酒吧遇见了我妈妈 you met my ma in a piano bar,
你就知道你一定要拥有她 and knew you must have her.
父母的爱啊 Damn what your parents thought.
也许她的人生是很坎坷 She might have been from the wrong side of the tracks,
但是她直直地走进了你的心 but she was on the right side of your heart.
-他在干什么 -我受不了了 - The fuck is he doing? - I'm done.
真的是你吗 It's really you?
我...我以为我永远失去你了 I... I thought I'd lost you forever
钢琴酒吧的珍妮特说她 after Piano Bar Janet said she
-"已经处理掉了" -她试过 - "took care of it." - Oh, she tried.
-但是没有成功 -当然了 - But it didn't take. - Of course it didn't.
因为你是半神 For you are half god!
你要我精神控制谁来打开这扇门 So, who do you need me to mind control to open the door?
不 不用 只要从爬网进去 No, no, no one. Just squeeze in the crawl space,
到屋子里 从里面开门 get into the house, and open it from the inside.
你在开玩笑吗 Are you shittin' me?
我是一个天才心灵感应者 你为什么要大材小用 I'm a genius telepath, why you wasting me on this?
只有你的身材够小能钻进去 You're the only thing small enough to fit.
好了 Got it.
混蛋 Son of a bitch!
我的睫毛刚刚碰到了一只死浣熊 My eyelashes just touched a dead raccoon!
不要再抱怨了 赶紧继续往前 Quit your bitchin' and keep going.
真是太丢人了 God this is humiliating.
儿子 我们要好好叙叙旧 Son, we have much to catch up on.
是的 父亲 或者我该叫你...爸爸 Yes, Father. Or should I call you... Dad?
叫我全能的宙斯 天空和闪电之神 Call me almighty Zeus. God of the sky and thunder.
奥林匹克山和脚下地球的至高统治者 Supreme ruler of Olympus, and all of Earth below.
好的 Okey-doke.
我还算自大的呢 Wow! And I'm an egomaniac.
嗯 这才对 Yeah. This looks about right.
他把愚蠢的金牌都放哪里了 Where the fuck does he keep those stupid medals?
很简单 他说他就是睡在一堆金子上 Easy. He said he literally sleeps on a pile of gold.
在战争中得到荣誉勋章后 And then after getting the Medal of Honor in war
我就开始打乒乓巡回世界 I toured the world playing ping-pong.
你的人生旅程真是太精彩了 What a remarkable journey your life has been.
但是和阿甘的经历也太相像了 And so oddly similar to that of Forrest Gump.
我的确奇怪 It is rather strange
你没有遗传你母亲那双美丽的蓝色双眸 you don't share your mother's brilliant blue eyes.
看来是我看错了 My mistake, I guess.
应该是灯光问题 Trick of the light.
但是我不知道你怎么没有她家族的 Although I don't know how you avoided her family proclivity for...
驼背 Hunchback?
奥林匹克金牌 Ah-ha! The Olympic gold medals.
搞什么 What the hell?
儿子 你真是和你母亲一模一样 Son, you are the spitting image of your mother.
很高兴你这么觉得 宙斯爸爸 I'm so glad you think so, Daddy Zeus.
但她咬字不清的确很可怜 But it's so sad she suffered from a lisp.
你这个撒谎精 Oh, you lying piece of shit!
你真的以为我会上当受骗吗 Do you really think I'd fall for this?
也许吧 Perhaps?
你到底是为谁卖命的 怪物 Who do you work for, monstrosity?
小丑 Joker?
不 不行 Oh, no, you didn't!
等等 等等 给他表现 Wait, wait, wait, don't emasculate him.
谜语人 Riddler?
不不不 他要振作了 我感受得到 No, no, no, he's about to rally. I can feel it.
企鹅 The Penguin?
告诉我你为谁工作 怪物 Tell me who you work for, creature,
否则下一击会要了你的命 or the next blow will be a killing one.
他为我工作 你这个抹油怪 He works for me, you oily bitch!
这不是我拒绝与之交合的女人吗 Well, if it isn't the girl I chose not to have sex with.
只可惜 恐怕你来晚了 Regrettably, you're too late I'm afraid.
不 No!
谢谢 神经 Thanks, Psycho.
好了 混蛋 不要再咬字不清了 All right, dickhead. Just drop the lisp.
我也想 但我咬到舌头了 I wish I could, but I bit my tongue.
你说女人招不到坏蛋团队 You said no woman could ever get a crew of bad guys.
我不仅招到了坏蛋 Well, I didn't just get bad guys,
我还招到了两个最坏的 I got two of the fuckin' worst.
你管这叫团队吗 You call that a crew?
一个侏儒和一摊泥 A midget and a mudslide?
我再给你一次机会告诉全世界 I'll give you one chance to tell the world
哈莉·奎茵的团队是不好惹的 Harley Quinn's crew ain't nothing to fuck with.
不然呢 Or what?
好吧 Fine.
-我说 -我知道你会说的 - I'll say it. - Oh, I know you will.
突发新闻 马克西·宙斯遭袭
鸡汤讲师 以及自称超级坏蛋的 Motivational speaker, and self-proclaimed supervillain,
马克西·宙斯今早被人发现遭到袭击 Maxie Zeus, was found beaten this morning.
跟我来 跟我来 Oh, oh! Follow me, follow me.
宙斯先生 这是怎么回事 Mr. Zeus, how did this happen?
谁对你干出这么可怕的事 Who did this terrible thing to you?
我只能说 All I can say is,
哈莉·奎茵的团队是不好惹的 Harley Quinn's crew ain't nothing to fuck with.
突发新闻 哈莉·奎茵有团队
听起来 小丑的前女友 哈莉·奎茵 Sounds like Harley Quinn, former girlfriend of the Joker,
现在单人出击了 is striking out on her own.
上帝啊 小哈 你成功了 Holy fucking shit, Harls. You did it.
我真没想到 I would not have seen that coming.
距离上一次女性超级恶人团队出现已经过去30年了 It's been 30 long years since a female villain had a crew.
寓言皇后当初想要冲破这个无形的上限 When the Queen of Fables tried to smash through that glass ceiling
却被正义联盟关进了《美国税法》中 but was imprisoned in the US Tax Code by The Justice League.
因为他们是一群贱人 'Cause they're bitches.
但我真是没想到哈莉真的做到了 But I'll be damned. Harley's actually going for it.
只有一件事能确定 小丑的前女友 One thing's for sure, the Joker's ex
很快就会成为他最大的竞争对手这里是... may soon become his biggest competitor. This is...
好了 恭喜你 Well, you know, congratulations.
我知道金牌不是弹头 I mean, I know gold medals aren't a nuclear warhead,
但是总要有个开始 but you gonna start somewhere.
不 我有弹头了 Oh, no, I got a warhead.
我用金牌换的 I traded the gold medals for it.
少来了 在哪里 Get outta town, where is it?
我用来威胁市政了 就像我之前说的 I used it to blackmail the city just like I said I would.
大家好 又是我 刚收到的消息 Hey, y'all, it's me again. This just in,
正在为你播报在一条重新命名为哈莉·奎茵大道的 we take you live to a high-speed chase on the abruptly renamed
高速车辆追逐战 Harley Quinn Parkway.
我的天啊 太值了 I'll be fuckin' damned. Totally worth it.
对吧 Right?