突发新闻 哥谭市有市长了
唐妮·杨从哥谭市政厅发来直播报道 Tawny Young reporting live from Gotham City Hall
鲜少露面的市长 as the mayor, in a rare public appearance,
也来表彰这些 has come out to honor the heroes
在哥谭之战中英勇战斗的英雄们 who fought so bravely in the Battle of Gotham.
我将为你们每人颁发一枚本市的钥匙 I present you each with a key to the city.
给 超人 还有当然了 神奇女侠 There you go, Superman and, of course, Wonder Woman
还有蝙蝠侠 and Batman.
看这大把手 Check out that grip.
好样的 出租车小伙 There you go, space cabbie.
没有你 这一切都是不可能的 Couldn't have done it without you.
这些家伙都是谁啊 Who the fuck are these guys?
戈登局长 你觉得这次盛大的集会 Commissioner Gordon, what do you think
怎么样 of this beautiful ceremony?
我很荣幸能得到本市的钥匙 I'm just so honored to be getting a key to the city
我一直都留在这里 seeing as I was here the whole time
保卫大家 protecting lives.
市长可能把最优秀的留到最后 The Mayor's probably saving the best for last
就像我看《碟中谍》一样 like I did with the Mission Impossible movies.
我先看了第一部 I watched one first
-然后看第四部... -先听听 - but then I went to four-- - Mmm-hmm. Let's listen.
今天 有一个需要特别感谢的人 There's one last person I need to thank today.
要不是他 这座城市还将处于 If it weren't for him, our city would still be riddled
超级反派的统治之下 with supervillains.
这位长着小胡子的人民公仆 This mustachioed servant of the people
可能没有能力 may not have powers
但是他超能干 but, man, he sure is super.
没错 市民们 That's right, citizens.
我在此表彰我自己 I hereby honor myself.
什么 那我呢 What? What about me?
我们一起拯救了这座城市 We helped this city together.
不是他 Not him.
说真的 我对这家伙 Seriously, I think I've seen this guy
真的是彻底改观了 like one other time, like, ever.
哈莉·奎茵 第二季第十三集
神经博士 在 Dr. Psycho, check.
谜语人 在 顺便 欢迎回来 Riddler, check. Welcome back, by the way.
哈莉·奎茵 Harley Quinn!
别告诉我... Don't tell me...
你不该来这里的 You're not supposed to be here.
有谁是该在这里的吗 Is anyone supposed to be anywhere?
你想聊聊吗 Oh, you wanna talk about it?
边吃水果杯边说吗 Maybe over a fruit cup.
不... Nah...
我想自己静静 I wanna be alone with my thoughts.
别担心我 我想明白了以后会越狱的 Don't worry about me. I'll break out when I'm done.
我只是在经历一场个人危机 I'm just going through a personal crisis.
算了 我还是要了这个水果杯吧 Actually, I'll take that fruit cup though.
水果杯得用交心聊天来换 Well, fruit cup in exchange for conversation.
这可是社会契约的重要组成 Sort of linchpin of this whole social contract.
所以...我走了 So... I'm gonna go.
听着 谢谢你给我机会跟你谈谈 Look, thank you for giving me a chance to talk to you.
你为什么要那么做 Why did you do it?
我不知道 是我搞砸了 I don't know. I fucked up.
我也想能有一个更好的回答 I wish I had a better answer.
我爱你 I love you.
和哈莉之间只是愚蠢的一夜情 That Harley stuff was a stupid fling
是一个错误 and a mistake.
我保证不会再有下次了 And I promise it will never happen again.
如果你不想嫁给我 If you don't want to marry me,
就直接告诉我 好让我找个酒吧 just say it so I can go to a bar,
大醉一场 和人争论 and get loaded and get into an argument with somebody
最棒的重金属专辑是哪一张 about what the most metal album of all time is.
然后莫名其妙开始哭着吐在自己身上 And then start crying for no reason and puke on myself
风筝人 我愿意 我愿意嫁给你 Oh, Kite Man, I do. I do want to marry you.
如果你 And if you, you know,
是重金属专辑 were a metal album,
那你肯定是《毁灭的欲望》 you'd be Appetite for Destruction.
-你知道的... -什么 你... - You know... - What? What...
GNR都不是重金属乐队 GNR is not even metal.
我们到底在说什么 What are we even talking about?
-这是... -恰克 我也恨伤害了你的我 - Is this-- - Chuck, I hate that I hurt you.
你该拥有一切 You know, you deserve everything.
我知道这弥补不了什么 And I know this doesn't fix anything.
但你能在这里停下吗 But could you pull over here?
看 是哥谭旧玉米工厂 Ta-da! It's the old Gotham corn factory.
这是干什么 这是我的失败之旅吗 What is this? Is this just a tour of my failures?
这是你梦想中的婚礼场地 It's your dream wedding venue.
如果你依然 If you still, you know,
想要和我结婚的话 wanna get married to this old gal.
调味料国王呢 What about Condiment King?
这个混蛋不是已经把这个纪念之地 Didn't that dick face already call dibs on this monument
变成他的乡村殿堂了吗 to rustic perfection?
那个嘛... So about that...
来让我邀请你参加我们的婚礼吗 艾薇 Come to ask for an invite to our wedding, Ivy?
计划有变 酱料混蛋 Change of plans, sauce fucker.
是调味料国王 It's Condiment King!
他就是突然 So, you know, he just, sort of,
决定给我了 decided to just give it to me
他还活着呢 and he is still obviously very much alive.
但是他已经不再这个城里了 But he's, sort of, like out of town indefinitely,
没有人知道他什么时候回来了 and no one knows if he'll ever come back,
但是 可能不回来了 but, you know, probably not.
艾薇 风筝人 旧玉米工厂 Ivy, Kite Man, we're so happy
很高兴能欢迎你们的到来 to have you at the old corn factory.
你们的婚礼肯定会很完美 We know your wedding will be perfect.
等等 你冒上生命危险 Wait. You risked your life
去找哥谭最可怕的 against one of the most formidable villains
超级反派 Gotham has ever seen
就是为了给我搞到梦想中的结婚场地 just to give me my dream venue?
这么说可能有点 I think that's maybe like an overstatement
抬举调味料国王了 但总体来说没错 of Condiment King. But essentially, yes.
我的确这么做了 因为我爱你 That's what I did because I love you.
所以 怎么样 So... What do you say?
你想结婚吗 You wanna get married or what?
这可得好好考虑一下了 Wow. This is a lot to think about.
你可能看不出来 You, probably, can't tell right now,
但我其实非常激动 but I am tots overwhelmed.
你慢慢来 Look, just take your time.
只要你知道 只要你想 You know, just know that it's waiting for you
一切都在等着你 if you want it.
你为什么这么平静 戈登 Why are you so calm, Gordo?
你看到我回到阿卡姆不高兴吗 Aren't you excited to see me going back to Arkham?
我是一个复杂的人 我的感情充沛 I'm a complex man with many emotions
需要好好沉淀 that must be sifted through.
市长没有给你哥谭的钥匙 The Mayor didn't give you the key to the city
-你很难过 -我没有钥匙 该死 - and now you're sad. - I don't have a key, goddammit!
不 完全不是因为这个 I mean, no, that's not it at all.
这个猜测太愚蠢了 That was a dumb guess.
蠢蛋 Dummy!
让我给你一点小建议 Let me give you a little piece of advice.
你不想成为 You don't wanna be the one
接受城市钥匙的人 who gets the key to the city,
你想成为给予的人 you wanna be the one who gives it.
是的 戈登 Yeah, Gordo.
你应该去竞选市长 You should run for mayor.
我成为人民公仆就是为了 I got into public service to shoot bad guys
惩戒坏人 偶尔会不小心 while allowing for the occasional accidental
射杀了好人 因为人无完人 shooting of an innocent, because no one's perfect!
原创翻译 双语字幕
我不喜欢搞政治 I don't even like politics.
最新连载海外影视剧下载 请登陆 www.YYeTs.com 仅供交流学习 禁止商用盈利
我喜欢 Well, I love 'em.
来吧 我们一起推翻鬼知道叫什么的市长 Come on, let's overthrow Mayor What's-his-name?
翻译 酸奶无语
就算我在铁窗后 也能正儿八经地 I can run your whole campaign from behind bars
经营好你的选举 like a real campaign manager.
校对 酸奶无语
不 No!
但我们只是假设 But let's just say for argument's sake
我想要那个位置 I want the job.
时间轴 风粤站在psycho那边
作为全美 Being the police commissioner
最危险城市的警察局长 of the most dangerous city in America,
我的民意很低 I got low favorables.
你看上去还像是那种一到绝境 You also seem like a hair-trigger reactionary
后期 8T
就嘴上没有门的 kind of guy who runs his mouth off
反动分子 when he's backed into a corner.
胡扯 That's bullshit.
总监 小酸奶
有本事出来当面跟我说 Say that to my fucking face!
你是一个警察 Ah-ha! See, you're a cop,
但你不是英雄 but you're not a hero.
除非 你做出一些英雄之举 Unless, you do something heroic
让你的名字上报纸 that gets your name in the papers.
把惯常的疯子抓起来可激不起水花 Cuffing your occasional costumed psycho isn't splashy.
但你猜怎么着 But guess what?
一只小小鸟告诉我 艾薇和风筝人 A little bird told me that Ivy and Kite Man
这周六要结婚了 are getting married on Saturday.
我有他们的宾客名单 And I've got their guest list.
这些罪犯们都会毫无防备地 All these criminals will be in attendance
-出席参加 -等一下 - with their guard down. - Wait a minute.
我有一个主意 I just have an idea.
我突袭婚礼 就能成为一个 I bust that wedding and I become a hero
像蝙蝠侠一样的英雄了 as big as Batman.
这才上道嘛 市长先生 Now you're getting it, Mr. Mayor.
亲爱的 怎么这么闷闷不乐 Hey, there, sweetheart. Why so gloom?
你们来干什么 What are you guys doing here?
认真的吗 Really?
你收到无纸邮件提醒了吗 So did you get the paperless post reminder?
艾薇的婚礼照常 Ivy's wedding is on.
新娘还是希望你能到场 And the bride still wants you to come.
我不去了 I'm not going.
我只会被人指指点点 I'll just be a distraction
艾薇说得对 我会搞砸所有事 and like Ivy said, I always fuck everything up.
那他妈可是你最好的朋友的婚礼 It's your goddamn best friend's wedding!
是啊 就这一次 Yeah and for once,
我想做出正确的选择 我要约束自己 I wanna make the right choice. Restraint.
大家都希望你去 Everyone wants you there.
你也不会想错过我的咏叹调表演的 And you wouldn't want to miss my performance of an aria.
我会在宴会上唱歌 I'll be singing at the reception.
我们有没有提过还有香草蛋糕 Did we mention there's going to be vanilla cake?
-我不会去的 -我会给你留个位置的 - I'm not going. - I'll save you a seat.
你不去参加你最好朋友的婚礼吗 So you're bailing on your best friend's wedding?
大家现在怎么都这么健谈 Why is everyone so chatty?
这本来可是一个冥想的好地方 This place used to be great for silent brooding.
如果你担心有人会 If you're really worried about someone
把艾薇的婚礼变成地狱 dragging Ivy's wedding to hell in a handbasket,
我可有坏消息 I got bad news.
-什么消息 -帮我逃出去 - What is it? - Help break me out
我就告诉你 and I'll tell you.
-我不行 -好啊 - I ain't buying it. - All right.
没关系 That's fine.
那就再害你最好的朋友一次吧 Screw over your best friend twice, I guess.
戈登准备逮捕参加婚礼的所有反派 Gordon's planning to arrest all the villains at the wedding.
他亲口和我说的 He told me himself.
这家伙真有胆量 The cojones on that guy.
他要怎么搞定这么多人 How the fuck's he going to pull that off?
他可能搞不定 Oh, he probably won't.
但他会去试试 But he's gonna try.
那些婚礼... And I mean, these weddings...
总是计划得很周祥 ...they're so meticulously planned.
只要出一点点查错 Anytime you throw a wrench in it,
就像是毁了... it's like a ripple of--
我不能毁了艾薇的婚礼 Well, if I can't fuck up Ivy's wedding.
-谁也别想毁 -好吧 - No one can! - Okay.
我听到警铃响了 I hear bells ringing.
听好了 我叫你们来不只是让你们 Listen up. I didn't just bring you in here
享受这些素食甜甜圈 to enjoy these vegan donuts.
素食 Vegan?
我们今天有一个很特殊的任务 We have a special mission today.
拜托 老大 今天是周六 Oh, come on, boss. It's Saturday.
我的异母妹妹的孩子今天要洗礼 I've got my half-sister's baby shower.
我们要去参加毒藤女和风筝人的婚礼 We're going to Poison Ivy and Kite Man's wedding.
艾薇还是挺过来了啊 Ivy's going through with it, huh?
你是说风筝人挺过来了吗 You mean Kite Man's going through with it?
那个女人竟然对他干出这种事 After all that woman's done to him.
我们不知道这段感情的 Look, we don't know the emotional underpinnings
暗涌滚滚 of that relationship
但是等我们抓了这对爱侣 but by God we will when we arrest those two lovebirds
和市里所有周末没有其他事可干的超级反派后 along with every major supervillain in the city
我们就能知道了 who didn't have prior weekend plans.
这听上去好像是蝙蝠侠该操心的事 Sounds like Batman's problem.
我要去参加我异母妹妹的洗礼 Well, I am off to my half-sister's baby shower.
别说得那么快 谢丽尔 Not so fast, Cheryl.
你难道不厌倦了每次都被超级英雄抢走功劳吗 Aren't you tired of the supers getting all the credit?
给 这是宾客名单 Here. Here's the guest list.
拿一张 传下去 Take one. Pass 'em along.
这些都是哥谭最强大的超级反派 These are the most powerful supervillains in Gotham.
没错 都是厉害的任务 Exactly. It's pretty badass.
绝对值得一把钥匙 Pretty damn key worthy.
但是 长官 这些人都有超能力 But, sir, these people have a myriad of superpowers.
我们有什么呢 And what do we have?
一个超级好的计划 A damn good plan.
风筝人与毒藤女的婚礼 停车场
花店
神父 我有罪 我要告解 Oh, Father, I gotta sin I've gotta confess.
现在不方便 孩子 Ah, this isn't really a good time, son.
我必须要告解 Yeah, uh, I must confess.
好吧 怎么了 孩子 All righty then, what is it, my son?
我揍了一名牧师 I punched out a priest.
看看你 你是多么优雅啊 Look at you! Looking all elegant and shit.
你是一个人来的吗 You come alone?
我叫... My name is...
能对我说阿门吗 Can I get an amen?
阿门 长官 Amen, sir.
这场面太大了 Oh! Oh, now this is majestic.
简直像是2014年品特瑞斯特的规模 It is very 2014 Pinterest.
风筝人真是个彻头彻尾的贱货 Kite Man is a basic bitch through and through.
他在从玻璃罐里喝酒 Oh, he's drinking out of a mason jar.
我好紧张 I am so nervous.
放轻松 婚礼是快乐的地方 Relax. Weddings are a joyful occasion.
除非你是伴娘之一 You know, unless you're one of the bridesmaids.
礼物还行吧 The gifts are okay, I guess.
我对婚礼一点都不紧张 I'm not nervous about the wedding.
我紧张的是在招待会上表演 I'm nervous about performing at the reception.
那首曲子一直是一个音乐雷区 This particular piece is a musical minefield.
高难度的歌词 变化莫测的音调 The tricky rhythms, dramatic shifts in pitch.
要有亚当·兰伯特的肺活量才行 One needs the lung capacity of an Adam Lambert.
你可真可爱 Aren't you cute?
我相信艾薇肯定会爱上那首歌 Look, I'm sure Ivy will love the song.
我不在乎她爱不爱 I don't care if she loves it.
我只在乎他爱不爱 I only care if he does.
猫女的伴儿吗 Catwoman's date?
你竟敢这么叫他 那不仅只是猫女的伴儿 How dare you? That's not just Catwoman's date.
那是电影导演蒂姆·伯顿 That's cinema auteur, Tim Burton.
如果我的歌技惊四座 If I deliver a siren song for the ages,
这可能是我生涯的拐点 it could be my big break.
所以你不是出于爱而唱这首歌的 So you weren't singing this song out of love?
我是出于我对演艺的爱 I was, out of love for acting.
天啊 她来了 Oh, my gosh! She's here.
你好 你好 大家好 Hey, hi, howdy, hello,
大家继续聊你们的 everybody continue talking amongst yourselves.
大家都很好 Everything's cool.
哈莉 太好了 你决定来了 Harley! I'm so glad you decided to come.
-真爱再次赢了 -是啊 是啊 - Love wins again. - Yeah, yeah.
风藤永远飞 Long live Poison Kitey.
好样的 你人生中后悔的事 Well done. That's one less thing
又少了一件 you'll regret your entire life.
对对对 当然了 Yeah, yeah, yeah, totally.
这房子里还有别的房间什么的吗 So are there other rooms here or what?
他们让我们在这里等鸡尾酒会 They have us corralled in here for cocktail hour.
头上明明有该死的空调 Right under this godforsaken AC
-却一点用都没有... -戈登 - which is doing nothing... - Gordon.
...我的声带 ...my vocal chords!
我要去找厕所 I'm gonna go find the bathroom.
你在这里啊 戈登 There you are, Gordon.
-你在这里啊 -别碰我 - There you are. - Ah! Don't touch me.
赶紧和其他伴娘会合吧 Let's get you with the other bridesmaids, okay?
快要上场了 It's almost showtime.
大家最近怎么样 So how's everyone been?
搞什么 哈莉 What the crap, Harley?
我来了 准备好做伴娘了 I'm here. Ready to maid.
你没来参加婚礼预演 You weren't at the rehearsal.
你知道怎么走位吗 How are you gonna know how to walk?
右脚 左脚 再右脚 左脚 Uh, right foot, left foot. Repeat.
你背弃了艾薇 You bailed on Ivy.
你在乎个什么 你真的是伴娘吗 What do you care? Are you even a bridesmaid?
我依然肩负伴娘的责任 I still have all the responsibilities of a bridesmaid.
只不过不穿服装而已 Just not the fashion ones.
你以为我会穿那身破地毯吗 You think I'd be caught dead in that rag.
好吧 那我能穿你的吗 Okay. Well, then can I wear yours?
你准备减掉哪个部位的十磅肉 Which ten pounds do you plan on leaving behind?
女士们 我是来支持艾薇的 Ladies, I'm just here to support Ivy.
这是我来这里的唯一理由 That is the only reason I'm here.
给我一个机会 让我补偿她 Please give me the chance to make it up to her.
还有你们 永远的科布小队 And you. Cobb squad forever.
该死 Damn!
我以为她只是在吹牛 这真的是太紧了 I thought she was just being a beep. This really is too tight.
别动 该死 Hold still, goddamn it!
-马上回来 -我还没弄好呢 - Brb! - Hey, I'm not done!
你说你会帮我梳头的 该死 You said you'd braid my hair! Fuck!
你在哪里 你这个混蛋 Where are you, you rat bastard?
你刚叫我什么 What did you just call me?
-哈莉 -你好 新郎先生 - Harley? - Oh, hey, Mr. Groom.
我只想说 恭喜你 I just wanted to say mazel tov
希望你能非常幸福 and I wish you many happinesses.
我现在心头涌上百般情绪 I am having so many emotions right now.
没有一种是"开心" None of them I would categorize as happy.
弗兰克在哪里 他说如果出现这种情况 Hey, where's Frank? He said if this happened,
他会给我准备一堆笑话 he'd have a pocket full of zannies for me.
你在这里啊 落跑伴娘 There you are, my runaway bridesmaid.
我得把你们俩分开的 I'm supposed to keep you two apart.
哎呀 Yikes!
珍 你的发型不错 Hey, Jen, hair looks great.
与你无关 No thanks to you.
女王们 给我点态度 Yass, queens. Okay, attitude.
给我点态度 很好 很赞 Give me attitude. Great. Love it.
找到你了 戈登 Got you, Gordo!
该死的 Ah, fuck my ass.
除了我以外没有人能毁了我 No one ruins my best friend's wedding
最好朋友的婚礼 but me!
天啊 天啊 天啊 Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
科文顿先生 救命啊 场地负责人 Mr. Covington, Help, the venue rep.
他在流血 He's bleeding.
我该站在哪里... Hey, where do I stand for the...
-塔德 -艾薇 - Tad! - Ivy!
你看上去美极了 Wow. You look stunning.
哈莉 Harley!
唐妮 我是局...长 Hey, Tawny, it's the Commish... ...ioner.
局长 戈登 Commissioner? Gordon.
听着 我给你准备了年度新闻 Yes. Listen, I've got the scoop of the year for you.
带上你的照相机 来哥谭旧玉米工厂 Bring your cameras down to the old Gotham corn factory
接下来将会出现非常亮眼的英雄时刻 because there's gonna be something real heroic going down.
你毁了我的婚礼 You're ruining my wedding.
我是想拯救你的婚礼 I'm trying to do the opposite of that.
我到处都能看到被你揍倒的人 I keep finding people that you've punched out
你还把摄影师吓昏过去了 and then you made the photographer faint.
-但是 -听着 我只希望为风筝人 - But-- - Look, I just need this day
让今天顺顺利利的 to go smoothly for Kite Man.
他现在很糟糕 I mean, he's a mess.
他甚至都不希望你来 I mean, he didn't even want you here.
对不起 我不该这么说的 I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that.
只是...听着 这应该是 It's just... Look, this is supposed to be
我这辈子最快乐的一天 the happiest day of my life, you know?
前提是如果我们同意在父权制度下 I mean, that is if you ascribe to those patriarchal norms
一个女人被男人选择后 价值就会逐渐下降 about a woman's value fading after she gets chosen by a man.
但我们不同意 不是吗 Which we don't, right?
不管怎么样 今天应该是 Regardless, it's supposed to be,
一个美好的日子 overall, a really good vibes day
不该有任何威胁 and it's barely hanging on by a thread.
我觉得我就是不想再 I mean, I feel like I'm just
照顾到所有人的感受了 sick of managing everyone's feelings.
我也有自己的感受 I have my own.
我很紧张 我也很担心未来 I'm nervous and I'm scared about the future, too.
但是...我甚至没有时间 But... I don't get a time
好好思考这一切 to just like reflect about that, you know,
就要走上那条该死的过道了 before I walk down the goddamn aisle forever.
不 因为总有人会不停地提起 No, because someone's going around cold-cocking
-我所有的旧事 该死 -但是 - all my goddamn vendors. Shit. - But--
-但是艾薇 -哈莉 - But Ivy-- - Harley!
你的友谊对我来说意味着一切 Your friendship means the world to me
但是 我可能不该自欺欺人 but, maybe, I'm kidding myself
觉得我能鱼与熊掌兼得 that I can have my cake and eat it too.
你永远都是你 You know, you can't stop being you
这会毁掉我和风筝人 and... That fucks up what I have with Kite Man.
就是这样 It just does.
戈登来了 准备抓走你的大半客人 Gordon is here to bust half your guest list.
我想要挽救你的婚礼 I'm trying to save your wedding.
-听听你的话有多扯 -我没有 - Listen how crazy you sound. - I'm not.
-双面人告诉我的 -好吧 - Two-Face told me. - Okay.
一个真的有两张面孔的人告诉你的 A literal two-faced person told you that.
小哈 你可能不觉得 但你看上去 Harls, you may not even know this but you're looking
就是在想方设法干扰我和风筝人 for any reason to disrupt my life with Kite Man.
我...我不能允许 And I just... I cannot have it.
所以你想说什么 So what are you saying?
我想说... I mean, I'm saying...
我想说我不希望你来参加 I'm saying I don't want you to be here.
哈莉 你要走了吗 Harley, are you leaving?
嗯 我被双面人骗了 Yeah, I got duped by Two-Face.
他和我说戈登会来 但其实他没有来 He told me Gordon was gonna be here but he's not.
我看上去还是一如既往的 And I just look stupid and desperate
愚蠢和孤注一掷 in front of everyone as usual.
胡说 我们在婚礼上呢 Nonsense! We're at a wedding.
大家只会关注新娘... The only person people are paying attention to is the bride...
希望还有我 And hopefully, me!
哈莉·奎茵 首席伴娘
也许我不该出现在艾薇的新生活里 Maybe I don't fit in Ivy's new life.
我需要点水 Ugh, I need water.
塑料花 Plastic?
艾薇 我第一眼看到你 Ivy, from the first moment I saw you,
就知道你是我想要的人 I knew I could never do better.
就算你拒绝了我 And even though you rejected me
一遍一遍又一遍 over and over again and over again,
不知道几次了 for good measure,
我还是决定要跟你共度一生 I was determined to share a life with you.
有人可能觉得这是跟踪狂 You know, some might call it stalking...
艾薇 我等不及要 Ivy, I can't wait to spend
和你共度余生了 the rest of my life with you
一起住在我们位于乡下的牧场小屋里 in our modest, ranch-style, suburban home.
烤着无肉蛋白 Grilling meatless proteins, of course,
周末带着我们的四个孩子轮流玩足球 and spending weekends shuttling our four kids between soccer,
芭蕾 空手道和卡波埃拉舞 ballet, karate and capoeira,
那是一种结合空手道和芭蕾的超酷运动 which is this sick combination of ballet and karate.
周日一起去我父母家吃晚餐 Spending Sunday dinners at my parents' house,
当然了 得等他们同意重新接纳我们 as soon as they allow us back into their lives, of course.
一起窝在沙发上 Um, and just a lot of chilling on the couch,
点播流媒体高级账户的剧 binging some premium streaming content
一起玩手机 没说这样不好 and looking at our phones. No-judgment style.
艾薇 你就是吹起我风筝的风 Ivy, you are the wind beneath my kite.
你以为你在干什么 What the hell do you think you're doing?
救我最好的朋友 Saving my best friend.
你描绘的...是一副... Well, that was... a very specific picture
我从来没有想象过的... that you painted of our future that I had not...
未来光景 I had not totally considered.
对 轮到我了 抱歉 Oh, right, I'm up. Sorry.
大家好 让我来看看 Um, hello, uh, let me just check
我的字条...对 my notes... Right.
查尔斯·风筝人· 布朗 Charles Kite Man Brown,
我... I...
我就知道你在胡扯 I knew you were bullshit.
不是你想的那样 让我过去 It's not what you think. Just let me through.
去你妈的 臭小三 Fuck you, homewrecker.
该来检验一下我的有氧杠铃课成果了 Time to put my Cardio Barre membership to the test.
搞什么 珍妮弗 Fuck, Jennifer.
我已经36岁了 I am 36 goddammit!
这可能是我最后一次当伴娘的机会了 This might be the last wedding I get to be a bridesmaid in.
为什么婚礼仪式上会出现侍应生 Why is a caterer at the ceremony?
哥谭警局
好了 你们都说完了 两位都愿意吗 Okay, great. You did your part. Do you both agree now?
-当然了 -我愿意 - Hell yeah. - I do.
我现在宣布你们... I now pronounce you...
被捕了 Under arrest!
动手 伙计们和谢丽尔 Do it, men and Cheryl,
胶水用太多了 Too much glue.
为什么 Why?
花 The flowers.
我来 我来救我们出去 I'll get us out, I'll get us out.
这是...该死 塑料的 This is... Shit! Plastic?
为什么 Why?
防毒面具 Gas masks!
梅芙 梅芙 你拍到了吗 Merv, Merv, are you getting this?
我什么都看不到 'Cause I can't see anything.
亲爱的 我觉得我们该走了 Darling, I think it's time to leave.
别走 伯顿先生 Don't leave, Mr. Burton!
我们还没有表演呢 We haven't rapped yet.
这是献给你的 蒂姆·伯顿 This is for you, Timothy Burton!
不 为什么 不 No! Why! No...
首席伴娘来了 Maid of honor coming through!
我爱死科学了 Ah! I fucking love science.
唐妮·杨正在从 Tawny Young reporting live
艾薇和风筝人的婚礼现场为您直播报道 from the scene of Ivy and Kite Man's wedding
警察局长戈登 in which Police Commissioner Gordon,
-英勇地 -撤退 - heroically... - Retreat!
快出去 快点 Get outside! Quick!
惹恼了一些强大的超级反派 Pissed off some very powerful supervillains
然后什么都没做 and accomplished absolutely nothing.
好了 梅芙 快点收拾东西 All right, Merv, let's pack it up.
盖瑞 赶紧走吧 Gary, let's get out of here.
这家伙真瘆人 That guy is creeping me out.
哈莉 我很高兴 Harley, I'm really glad
你没有在我让你走的时候真的走了 you didn't leave when I told you to.
我想着也许我能做一次正确的事 I thought maybe I could do something right for once.
我只希望你们能快乐 Oh! I just want you guys to be happy.
太迟了 Well, it's too late.
一切再一次全都毁了 Once again, everything is ruined.
没必要变成那样的 It doesn't have to be.
我也是注册牧师 Hey, I'm an ordained minister.
我在网上...搞了执照 I got a license-- Ah-- online.
我还做了一个吊牌 And I made it into a lanyard.
很合法的 怎么样 Pretty legit, huh? So what do you think, huh?
合法牧师
我能给你们证婚吗 Can I marry you?
哈莉还有后备计划 Harley with a backup plan.
好样的 牧师 Oh, good for you, Reverend.
去你妈的 Fuck you!
听着 风筝人 我知道我们不在玉米工厂里 Listen, Kite Man, I know we aren't in the corn factory
但至少我们还在地皮上 but we are on the property.
所以严格来说 你可以告诉《美国周刊》什么的 So technically, you can tell Us Weekly or whatever
你还是在这里结婚的 that you got married there.
我们可以事后再PS点照片 效果一定很好 We can Photoshop some pics later. It'll be great.
好吧 来吧 Okay. Let's do this.
-绝对不要 -什么 - Hell no. - What?
我第三次求婚的时候就该明白 I should have known the third time I proposed.
我们这段感情的每一步 Every step in our relationship
都要我一遍一遍又一遍地重复 I've had to do over and over and over.
我不干了 And I'm not.
都出了这种事了 我不要再重新进行我的婚礼了 After all of this, I'm not redoing my wedding.
你...你不想和我结婚了吗 Don't you... Don't you wanna marry me?
我当然想 但你不想 Of course, I do. But you don't.
我在起誓时看着你的表情 I saw your face during the vows
我知道你心不在焉 and I knew your heart wasn't in it.
也许我很单纯 但我不蠢 I may be simple but I'm not a fool.
面对事实很难 It is hard to finally admit it.
但既然你不愿意 那么我来 But since you refuse to, I will.
我不是你的良人 I'm not the person for you.
不 该死 No. Oh, shit!
你也说了 艾薇 我值得最好的 Like you said, Ivy, I deserve the best.
新婚
他们在那里 There they are!
该死 我们得离开这里 Shit! We gotta get out of here.
新婚
出口在哪里 Where's the exit?
真是不更再糟了 Oh, for the shit of shit.
所以我才不想在这里结婚 This is why I didn't want to get married here.
这里的停车场简直就是迷宫 The parking lot is a damn maze.
花店
传粉季节 贱人 It's pollen season in here, bitch!
传粉季节 It's pollen season!
我真的很抱歉 艾薇 I'm really sorry, Ivy.
风筝人会回心转意的 他总会想明白的 Kite Man will come around. He always does.
但是你知道吗 我不要了 他说得对 Yeah, but you know what? I won't. I mean, he's right.
我一直以来都在自我否认 I've been denying a lot of myself for a long time.
我想...对我来说 I guess... I guess, it seemed easier for me
可能随泼逐流更加简单 to just go along with it, you know?
但现在我意识到我这样拖延 But now I realize I hurt a lot of people
-伤害了很多人 -人是会变的 - delaying the inevitable. - Well, people change.
是啊 人的确是会变的 Yeah, yeah, people do change.
瞧瞧你 瞧瞧你今天为我做的一切 I mean, look at you. What you did for me today.
你...你让我看到了 You... You showed me the Harls
我一直以来想看到的小哈 I always wanted to see, you know.
你不觉得我混乱疯狂 You don't think I'm chaotic and crazy,
-只会惹麻烦吗 -你的确是那样的人 - make a bunch of messes? - No, you definitely do that.
但你在努力成长 But you're trying to grow
也的确成长了 and actually doing it.
对我来说 那 And that, I mean, for me,
才是最重要的 that's what matters.
我爱你 小艾 I love you, Ive.
我也爱你 小哈 I love you, too, Harls.
该死 Oh... Oh, shit!
眼睛看路啊 Okay, eyes on the road!
我爱你 但是我的天啊 I love you, but Jesus!
剧终