我的天 我的天 我们没有鼻子 Oh, my god, oh, my god, oh, my god, we don't have noses!
什洛普星曾是个完美的乌托邦 Planet Shlorp was a perfect utopia
直到被小行星撞上 until the asteroid hit.
一百个成人以及他们的复制人分到了一只噗噗 One hundred adults and their replicants were issued a pupa
逃往了太空 and escaped into, uh, the space,
在杳无人迹的世界里寻找新家 searching for new homes on uninhabited worlds.
我们坠落在地球上 困在了一个已经人口过密的星球 We crashed on Earth, stranding us on an already overpopulated planet.
是的 我一直在说这个 That's right, I've been talking this whole time.
抱着噗噗的人是我 我叫科尔沃 I'm the one holding the pupa. My name's Korvo.
这是我的节目 我的噗噗掉了 This is, this is my show. I just dropped the pupa.
你看到我了吗 这太荒唐了 Do you see me? This is ridiculous.
我讨厌地球 这是个糟糕的家园 I hate Earth. It's a horrible home.
人类太蠢了 他们创造那么多种语言干嘛 People are stupid. Why did they make so many languages?
他们为什么不能齐心协力造一种语言 Why didn't they just get together and figure out one language
这样我去墨西哥餐厅时 点"奶酪管"就行 so when I go to a Mexican restaurant I can just order "cheese tube"
也不会有人向我翻白眼 and not have someone roll their eyes at me.
外星也难民 第一季 第六集
那是凯文 他有个酷玩意 There's Kevin. Ooh, he's got somethin' cool.
我想要 凯文有的我都想要 Oh, I want it. Oh, I want whatever Kevin has.
那是什么 看起来真棒 What is that? It looks amazing.
快来 快来 Come on, come on.
老天 我没想到灯牌会和奶汁一样沉 Oh, man, I didn't realize they would be as teavy as they are tig.
科尔沃 特里看起来像盖瑞一样 Oh, Korvo, Terry who looks like a Gary.
-我倒是想呢 -我们帮你 - I wish. - Can we help you
抬这个"大奶汁"灯牌好不好 with your "tig old bitties" sign?
这是什么 与天主教有关吗 What is that? A Catholic thing?
不 No.
大奶汁 懂了吧 Tig old bitties. You get it?
仔细想想 大 奶 汁 Think about it. Tig. Old. Bitties.
-我懂了 -我完全理解 - Oh, yeah. - I-I definitely understand.
这是说大奶的汁 It's announcing that the bitties are aged.
我最喜欢大的奶汁了 Oh, my favorite bitties are tig.
这是为我的男人窝配的玩笑标牌 It's a joke sign for my man cave.
"南银窝"是什么 Ooh, what's a "manc ave"?
就是这里 是我的避难所 Well, here it is. This is where I can go and just get away from it all.
在这里 我可以解放自己的天性 A place I can express my most private self.
看看我的《处刑人》弹球机 Check out the Boondock Saints pinball machine.
美国犯罪片
还有经典的鲈鱼 And the classic bass.
♪ 把我放进湖里 ♪ ♪ Put me in the lake ♪
什么 它在和我说话吗 What? He's talking to me?
这条鱼真是充满惊喜 This fish is full of surprises.
张贴了规则 第一条 男人永远正确 Ooh, posted rules. Number one, the man is always right.
第二条 运动高于一切 Number two, sports are life.
我一条都没听说过 These are all new to me.
我可不想触犯任何规则 I don't want to be in violation of any rules.
接下来是重头戏 准备好了吗 我要放大招了 Here's the best part. Are you ready for me to blow your mind?
我天 Oh, my God.
妈的 这个 God damn it, this-
好棒 Oh, oh, my.
-现在好了 -凯文 你上来吗 - There it is. - Kevin, are you coming up--
老天 你真花了三千刀买了那个厌女的牌子 Oh, god, did you actually spend $3,000 on that misogynistic sign?
-你哪根筋搭错了 -宝贝 - What is wrong with you? - Babe,
怎么花我的圣诞红包是我的事 what I do with my Christmas bonus is my Christmas business.
科尔沃 说实在的 Korvo, let's just be real here.
求你了求你了 我们也弄个男人窝好吗 Please, please, please, please can we have a man cave?
-好 -什么 真的吗 - Yes. - What, oh, really?
兄弟 你不该这么一口答应 Oh, man, you should have held out.
我还想说我给你口... I was gonna offer to suck your--
凯文如此自信又快乐 他工作效率肯定很高 Kevin is so confident and happy. He must get so much work done.
想想如果我们也这么自信 生活会有多棒 Imagine how great our lives would be if we could be this confident.
你注没注意到那个橄榄球其实是一个 Did you notice that the football is actually a keg--
闭嘴 凯文 我们在脑补呢 Shut up, Kevin, we're imagining.
从科丽塔·斯科特·金到吉尔·索洛威 From Coretta Scott King to Jill Soloway,
美国民权运动领袖马丁·路德·金的遗孀 美国电视创作人 节目主持人 导演和作家
这只是为数不多的著名女权主义者 these are just a few notable feminists
他们让女人的生活变得更好 who improved the lives of women everywhere.
女士们 这学期 你们的最终成绩 Ladies, this semester, your final grade
由你们反击父权社会的证据决定 depends on proof that you fought the patriarchy.
在下周五之前 我想要 I want a full report on
有关你们打破玻璃天花板的详细报告 a glass ceiling you tried to shatter by next Friday.
性别歧视的隐蔽现象 由偏见而导致的障碍
那是什么意思 What does that even mean?
佩雷兹老师 那男生们的作业是什么 Uh, Miss Perez, what, what do the boys have to do?
我不在乎 男生们可以画画光剑之类的 I don't care, the boys can just draw a picture of a lightsaber or something.
你们现在大概也明白了 你们的生活更容易 You might as well learn now that life is just easier for you.
别忘了在教学软件上给我评分打赏 Don't forget to rate and tip me on the Teach app.
拜托大家 我需要钱买哮喘药 Guys, guys, come on. I need it for my asthma medicine.
我住在采石场附近 I live near the quarry.
老天 我该怎么办 在我选择做女孩时 Man, what am I gonna do? When I chose to be a girl,
我以为这意味着我会有更好的麦当劳玩具 I thought it meant I'd get the better McDonald's toys.
现在我还得打碎什么玩意 Now I have to topple something?
我告诉过你别做女的 记得吗 I told you not to pick female. Remember?
在我选择做男人时我就试图给你解释过 I tried to explain that to you the minute I chose to be a man
现在我的解释能力也大大提升 and became better at explaining things.
我只需要找到一个玻璃天花板 把它砸烂 I just need to find a glass ceiling and shatter the crap out of it.
不然 吉尔·索罗威就白拍《我爱迪克》了 Otherwise, Jill Soloway made I Love Dick for nothing.
你愿不愿帮忙 我们可以一起砸 Ooh, you wanna help? We could topple it together.
免了谢谢 我要置身事外 Yeah, I'm gonna pass. I'm just gonna hang back
今天做做外星人的事 and do a regular alien thing today.
拜托 性别政治很有趣的 Come on, gender politics is fun.
老调重弹而已 Seems kind of like a loaded topic.
每个网民都在为了谁能做总统 谁能驱鬼 Everyone on the internet is always fighting about who can be president
这种事争吵 但祝你好运 or who can bust ghosts, but good luck.
这可不是老调重弹 It is not loaded!
在性别问题这里搅浑水再正常不过了 Gender issues are a totally normal thing to mess with.
拜托 雅姆莱克 别这样 Come on, Yumyulack, don't be like that.
别这么大男子主义 Don't be such a man.
我借一下回力镖吗 Hey, do you guys mind if I borrow the boomerang?
这里什么情况 Whoa, what's going on in here?
欢迎来到我们的"南银窝" Welcome to our "manc ave."
男人窝 Man cave!
这里有规矩的 Ah, ah, ah, there are rules.
请先阅读并遵守所有规则 再寻欢作乐 Please read and strictly abide by all of them before having fun.
只对男性开放 等等 Man only? Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, wait.
你们俩也在关心性别问题吗 Are you guys doing a gender thing, too?
什么 不 我们在关心"南银窝"的问题 What? No. We're doing a "manc ave" thing.
-"大粗吊"是什么 -我不知道 - What's "dig old bicks"? - I don't know.
人类的某种暗号吧 他们的"大奶汁"卖光了 Some sort of human code. They were out of "tig old bitties" signs
但卖家说它们差不多 所以 but the salesman said it was in the same area, so...
特别棒 是吧 和凯文那个一模一样 Pretty great, right? Just like Kevin's.
没错 我真喜欢它上上下下的 No, yeah, I love how it moves up and down.
让你猜个不停 Oh, it keeps you guessing.
橄榄球真了不起 Ah, football is amazing.
显然 我们可以看喷气机对战棕色 Apparently, we can watch jets battle the color brown.
纽约喷气机橄榄球队 布朗大学橄榄球队
棕色
我们支持棕色 这里的人都支持棕色 This is a color brown house. We are color brown fans under this roof.
-明白了吗 -这是棕色阵营 宝贝 - Got it? - It's brown town, baby.
一杯冰啤酒
现在大家坐下 来瓶冰1 Now everybody just sit back, grab a cold one,
让"南银窝"的宏大幸福降临吧 and let the awesomeness of the "manc ave" wash over them.
随时都会降临 Any second now.
救救我 Help me.
你好 我是女孩 我想找到父权现象来击破 Oh, hello, I'm a female and I'm looking for a patriarchy to topple.
我从没玩过这个 但我想做踢球手 好吗 I've never played this game, but can I be your kicker, please?
没门 No way.
你是在怕我会彻底改变 You're freaking out that I would fundamentally alter
社会对女性参与以男性为主的运动的看法 the way society felt about women in a male-dominated sport.
我看透你了 混蛋 Gotcha, suckers!
什么 不 What? No.
女孩们参加中学橄榄球队已经很多年了 Girls have played on high school football teams for years.
只不过你不能做踢球手 因为我们已经 You just can't be the kicker because we already went
让最高法庭通过 狗能做踢球手 to the state supreme court so a dog could be kicker.
漂亮 丹佛 好样的 好样的 Damn, Denver! Good boy, good boy.
你可以做首发四分卫 怎么样 You can be our starting quarterback. How about that?
迪伦 这个我没见过她上场的女孩要替你的位置 Hey, Dylan! This girl who I haven't seen play yet is taking your place.
没问题 胜负没什么的 I'm fine with that. It's not about winning. Woo!
找女性遇到的麻烦才是真的麻烦 Ugh, finding a new struggle for women is gonna be a real struggle.
你有没有感受到"南银窝"的宏大幸福啊 Hm, has the awesomeness of the "manc ave" washed over you yet?
我觉得没有 Um, I don't think so.
可能幸福已经降临了 但我们无知无觉 Maybe it happened and we just didn't notice yet?
不 这不对劲 缺了点什么 特里 No, this is wrong. Something's missing, Terry.
肯定有点凯文的"窝"里的东西我们没有 There has to be something Kevin had in his "ave" that we don't have.
不不 我知道 我们有男人至上的电影海报 No, no, I know. I mean, we have very man-centric movie posters
有像《男孩不哭》《潇洒有情天》《十日拍拖手册》 with man themes like Boys Don't Cry, Boys On The Side,
这种男性主题 How To Lose a Guy in Ten Days.
特里 来一个凯文"南银窝"的全息实时监控 Terry, pull up a live hologram feed of Kevin's "manc ave."
我不懂 这完全一模一样啊 See, I don't get it. It's exactly the same.
计算机 分析氮气水平和 Computer, analyze nitrogen levels and--
你能不能过来看着你儿子吹蜡烛 Can you please come watch your son blow out his candles?
大家都在等着呢 Everyone's waiting.
他有整整一年都是三岁呢 Oh, he'll be three for like a whole year.
-凯文 -哪种蛋糕啊 - Kevin. - What kind of cake?
-凯文 -好吧 - Kevin! - All right!
老天 我真讨厌这个男人窝 God, I hate this man cave.
电脑 只保留安吉拉 Computer, strip everything but Angela.
他把时间都花在这个堆满玩具的蠢窝里 He spends all of his time in his stupid room full of toys
不陪陪家人 instead of with his family.
我该嫁给欧姆瑞的 I should have married Omry.
特里 我们完全没抓住"南银窝"的重点 Terry, we were totally missing the point of "manc aves."
是需要开更多的生日派对吗 Oh, that we need to throw way more birthday parties?
"南银窝"最妙的一点是 特里 The best part of being in a "manc ave," Terry,
有人讨厌你待在"南银窝"里 is someone being irritated that you're in a "manc ave."
-但我不想轮着干这事 -我也不想 - But I don't wanna take turns in here. - Neither do I.
这意味着我们得 Which means we'll have to
造一个机器人来讨厌我们在"南银窝"里待着 build a robot that hates us being in the "manc ave."
-万岁 -特里 - Yeah! - Terry!
那个"我们"指的是你自己 对吧 By "we," you mean you, right?
是 都包在我身上 Yes, I'm going to be doing all the work.
我只是想听起来友善些 I was just trying to be nice.
看 我们的新机器人 Behold, our new robot.
-动作真快 -我用了很多 - Wow, that was fast. - I used a lot of parts
上个机器人的零件 from the last robot I made.
那个用来杀掉 The one that was supposed to
向你扔了杯尿的小孩的机器人吗 kill those kids who threw a cup of pee at you?
-你翻篇了 -暂时翻篇了 - You got over that? - For the moment,
先不取他们的小命 they may keep their lives.
我得说 听我说一句 Well, I tell you what, here's the headline.
看起来棒极了 你用没用我给你的标准 It looks great. Now did you use the specs I gave you
让她成为所有电视节目里妻子和母亲的完美综合体 to make her the perfect combo of every TV wife/mom?
是 她有百分之二十是雷蒙德着恼的妻子 Yes, she's 20 percent annoyed wife from Raymond,
《人人都爱雷蒙德》 美国CBS的一部情景喜剧
百分之二十是《摩登家庭》里溺爱孩子的性感母亲 twenty percent doting hot mom from Modern Family,
百分之十五是《奇异果女孩》里语速很快的妈妈 fifteen percent fast-talking Gilmore Girls mom
百分之十是马姬·辛普森 因为她有蓝色头发 and ten percent Marge Simpson because she's got blue hair.
-是不是超过百分百了 -不 其实还不到 - Is that too many percents? - No, it's, it's under actually.
剩下的都是填充码 The rest is just filler code,
除了还有一点点《黄金女郎》里的索菲亚 except for a pinch of Sophia from Golden Girls.
那是个厚颜无耻的老太婆 我抵抗不了这种魅力 That was one sassy old lady, you know? I couldn't resist.
二十五 八十三 Twenty-five, eignty-three...
你在向三岁小孩一样用突触数数吗 Are you using your abaca-dactals like a baby?
-怎么 你八十岁了吗 -我得从头再来了 - What, what are you, 80? - Ah, now I have to start over.
我称她为 帕 秋 莎 I call her P-A-T-R-I-C-I-A.
是帕秋莎自动化电视角色改装 It stands for Patricia Automated Television Retro-fitted
智能伴侣在行动的简称 Intelligent Companion In Action.
你猜怎么着 即使这是编出来的也没关系 You know what, it's okay if you made that up to fit.
你选了一个有两个I和两个A的名字 太难编了 You chose a name with two I's and two A's. That's already hard.
重要的不是帕秋莎代表了什么 The important thing is not what PATRICIA stands for
而是她的设定是厌恶"南银窝" but that she's programmed to hate the "manc ave."
科尔沃 特里 Korvo, Terry.
噗噗 希望你不打算在你们糟心又恶心的 Pupa! I hope you don't plan to spend all day
"南银窝"里泡一天 我们有家务要做 in your awful, disgusting "manc ave." We have chores to do.
-迪吉里杜管为什么这么贵 -什么 - Why are didgeridoos so expensive? - What, what?
五千美元 就是根管子 我还是要买 Five thousand dollars. It's a tube! Still buying it.
你们是造了个女机器人吗 Did you guys make a woman robot?
是啊 棒极了 对吧 Oh, yeah, awesome, right?
我们造她来厌恶"南银窝" Yeah, we built her to hate the "manc ave".
看看她多棒 看看她 看看她啊 I mean, look at how awesome she is. Look at her, look at her go.
-她厌恶得如此完美 -不 不 不 - She's hatin' it perfect. - No, no, no.
你们涉及性别歧视了 You guys are wading into a whole gender thing.
我告诉你们 这对谁都没好处 I'm telling you, this can't end well for anybody.
我要走了 祝好 I'm outta here. G'day.
-这不是性别歧视 -我说了祝好 - This isn't a gender thing-- - I said g'day!
不管是什么问题 No matter what the problem is,
她找到责怪"南银窝"的理由了 she finds a way to blame the "manc ave."
就像个真正的老婆那样 Just, just like a real wife.
我他妈恨死这个"南银窝"了 I fucking hate this "manc ave".
她搞得我好想进去啊 Oh, she makes me wanna go in there so bad!
太好了 成功了 Ah, yeah! Oh, ho, ho, it worked!
大家好 我 一个女孩 Hi, guys. I, a girl,
想加入你们男子曲棍球队 would like to be on your men's lacrosse team.
并且我对曲棍球一无所知 I also know nothing about lacrosse.
-你听到她说的了吗 -我听到了 哥们 - Ha ha, did you hear that? - Oh, I heard it, Chad.
但我不敢相信 你再说一遍 姑娘 But I don't believe it. Say it again, girl.
曲棍球不再是法语里"约会强暴"的意思了 Lacrosse is French for "date rape" no longer.
我要求加入你们男队 有问题吗 I demand to be on your boys' team. What's the problem?
无法容忍一个女孩涉足你们"男孩独享"领域吗 Can't stand a girl trying to step on your "boys only" field?
不 我们请求女孩加入我们队很多年了 No, we've been asking for a girl to join our team for years.
这下橄榄球队的家伙们终于不会再嘲笑我们了 Oh, the football guys will finally stop mocking us.
别啊 拜托 这得是一次挣扎 No, come on, I need this to be a struggle.
兄弟们 我们队有女孩了 Chads, we got a girl on the team!
住手 Hey, stop.
全体注意 电竞队 我知道游戏玩家仇女 Attention, esports team. I know that gamers are misogynistic,
因此游戏里所有女性身材比例失实 and that's why all female bodies in games have unrealistic proportions
被设计与玩家进行荒淫无度的眼神接触 and are programmed to give the gamer an unhealthy amount of eye contact.
-让我加入 -耶 又一个女孩 - Let me in. - Yeah, another girl!
等等 我是这里唯一一个男的吗 不是吧 Wait, am I the only guy in here? Oh, no.
我一直在用一些非常隐晦的语言 I've been using some very coded language.
澳大利亚音乐真棒 简直自成流派 Australian music is so good. It's like a whole genre.
《工作男乐队 南方大陆 街头音乐》
你们眼前的是镇上第一位女消防队员 You're looking at this town's first female firefighter.
我找到了我的玻璃屋顶 把它打碎了 I found my glass ceiling and fucking shattered it,
救了将近一家人 and saved most of a family.
我是第一个直男式指导爵士乐的女人 Well, I'm the first woman to mansplain jazz.
不过就是切分音罢了 It's, like, all about syncopation.
还好吧 我可是救了将近一家人 That's great and all, but I saved most of a family.
你为什么一直说"将近一家人" Why do you keep saying "most of a family"?
因为这听上去比只救了两条狗好些 Because it sounds better than just the two dogs.
雅姆莱克 过来 Oh, Yumyulack, come here.
如果我不能尽快找到一个玻璃屋顶打碎 If I can't find a glass ceiling to break soon,
它们就都要被别人打碎了 那到时我就会失败 they're all gonna get broken without me, and then I'm gonna fail,
他们就会把我放进B教室的傻孩子班 and then they're gonna put me in the dumb kid's class in room B.
B教室多棒啊 我们可以整天画画 Room B is awesome. We get to do art all day.
别再告诉我这些了 And stop telling me things.
我已经说了我不会再碰性别话题了 I already said I wasn't touching gender stuff.
我只是没主意了 I'm just out of ideas.
你知道我没主意时会做什么吗 You know what I do when I'm out of ideas?
可卡因 然后成千上万的主意就会涌出来 Cocaine. And then I get like, a million ideas at once.
有了 会飞的内裤也是狗 Ooh, ooh, I got it. Pants that fly but are also dogs.
我也爱吃可卡因 不过这不是违法的吗 Well, I do love cocaine, but isn't it illegal?
所有有趣的事都违法 Everything cool is illegal!
再说我们吃可卡因不会出事 Besides, cocaine is okay for us to eat
因为我们外星人的身体处理方式不一样 because our alien bodies process it differently.
吃起来像糖 我自己做的 It's just like sugar. I make it myself.
雅姆莱克 有了 我应该自己建一个玻璃屋顶 Yumyulack, that's it! I should make a glass ceiling myself.
-然后再打碎它 -拜托 - And then I'll break it. - Hey, come on.
这可是你自己开窍的 I didn't help with that epiphany.
我只是像我们平时那样吃着可卡因 I'm just eating cocaine like we usually do.
-别把我扯上 -谢谢你的帮助 雅姆莱克 - Leave me out of it. - Thanks for your help, Yumyulack!
住口 我要和我的影子打一架 Stop it! I'm gonna go fight my shadow!
帕秋莎 你一定讨厌我们在"南银窝"坐一整天 Ah, PATRICIA, I bet you hate how we sit in the "manc ave" all day
而你却在这里享受不到"南银窝" while you're up here not enjoying the "manc ave."
脏盘子 食物残渣计数 1752 触发电视版沮丧主妇模式
这些脏盘子是怎么回事 科尔沃 What's with all the dirty dishes, Korvo?
检测到蠢男脸 愚蠢程度 100%
我留给你清洗的 I left them here for you to clean.
看到这个了吗 它叫做洗碗机 You see this here? It's called a dishwasher.
这个是开机键 And this is how you turn it on.
现在至少终于有一样东西你能学会开机了 Now that's at least one thing you can finally learn to turn on.
性奋
虽然无关紧要 因为你们外星人没有屌 Not that it matters since you're an alien who has no dick.
我想我妈说得对 我还能玩出什么花样 I guess my mom was right. What am I supposed to do with that?
屌都没有 No dick!
没人这样对我说过话 No one's ever spoken to me like that.
这个愤怒的主妇子程序一定是你 This angry wife subroutine must be a side effect
反"南银窝"程序的副反应 of your anti-"manc ave" programming.
或许我只是厌倦了给一个把脏袜子 Or maybe I'm just tired of being married to an idiot
丢在客厅的傻逼当老婆 who leaves his dirty socks in the living room.
这一定是我灌输给你的那些电视版妈妈数据的 This must be a byproduct from all the TV mom data
副产品 你简直是个完美有机体 I fed into your personality. You're a perfect organism.
高潮
副产品 你挣的钱连帮我"付"产品都不够 Byproduct? You don't make enough money to buy me any products.
我唯一一次高潮是我看《古战场传奇》的时候 And the only time I can organism is when I'm watching Outlander.
你让我觉得好渺小 枉为男人 You're making me feel smaller and less of a man.
我喜欢 快点 再来 I love it. Quick, do it again.
你做任何事都只知道快 Quick is the only way you know how to do anything.
帕秋莎 我把桌足杆插肩膀上了 Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, PATRICIA. I foosed my shoulder.
巨婴的眼泪 注意到干坏事了 触发电视版呵护妈妈
宝贝 让我帮你处理下吧 Aw, honey, let me take care of that for you.
一 二 One, two--
-好点了吗 -一点点 - Does that feel better? - A little.
你刚才真是个勇敢的小男孩 You were a really brave little man just then.
我真为你骄傲 亲亲 I'm so proud of you. Here.
这是妈咪给你的特别亲亲 感觉好点了吗 That was a special kiss from Mommy. Does that feel better?
-再来一个好吗 -啵啵 宝贝 - I need another one. - There you go, sweetie.
你猜怎么着 这个妈咪肯定是我表现英勇的 I tell you what, this mommy must be a residual byproduct
副产物 of me being so brave, huh?
我在里面烤曲奇呢 宝宝来 舔勺勺 I'm baking cookies in here. Does baby wanna lick my spoon?
我天 这种感觉是什么 Oh, my God, what is this feeling I'm feeling?
我希望能永远这样下去 Oh, I never want it to end.
酷孩子社团 禁止女生参与 自带阳具
你去哪了 Where have you been?
我 我去做了这份美味的圣代 Oh, oh, uh, just making this delicious sundae.
-你自己做的 -是啊 - By yourself? - Uh-huh.
特里 你在撒谎 你连香蕉都不会剥 Terry, you're lying. You don't know how to peel a banana.
-每次都是我给你剥 -等等 - I always have to do it for you. - Wait.
为什么你耷拉着肩膀 Why are your shoulders slouched
为什么你看起来自信心不足 and why do you look like you have a lower sense of confidence?
我照着镜子打量自己 感觉很羞耻 I was judging myself in the mirror. I'm-I'm very shameful.
可你连自我审视都不会 You don't know how to self-scrutinize.
我刚刚和帕秋莎在一起 她让我体会到了 I've been hanging out with PATRICIA. She makes me feel something
-前所未有的感觉 -我也是 - I've never felt before. - Me, too.
-被削弱 -被抚爱 - Emasculated. - Nurtured.
阉割
我太爱了 她用刀子嘴兵不血刃地划穿了 I love the way she can just cut right through me
我的豆腐心 我从未感到如此挫败 with a real tightly wound zinger. I've never been so wonderfully beta.
她用湿纸巾给我擦嘴 拿我当宝宝疼 Oh, she wipes my mouth with a wet wipe and treats me like a baby.
又舒服又熨帖 我从没有过妈妈 科尔沃 It's so comfortable and nurturing. I never had a mom, Korvo.
-从没人给我洗澡澡 -特里 我知道我们 - I never got baths. - Terry, I know we specifically
造她是为了让她憎恶"南银窝" 但听我说 created her to hate the "manc ave", but hear me out on this.
如果我们改变"南银窝"的相关设定 What if we altered the rules of the "manc ave"
让帕秋莎和我们一起来"南银窝"玩怎么样 so we could invite PATRICIA to hang out with us in the "manc ave"?
-就两全其美了 特里 -老天 没错 - We'd have it all, Terry. - Oh, my God, yes.
完美 快 快改设定 Oh, that's perfect. Let's, let's change the rules.
我们来改设定 We're gonna change the rules.
可 可我憎恶这个地方 But, but I hate this place.
我知道 我知道 但没事 你看 I know, I know, but it's okay. Look, huh, see?
你在这里没事的 这是不是很有趣 It's okay for you to be here. Isn't it fun?
不 这没趣 趁还来得及赶紧走 快跑 No, it's not. Get out while you can. Run.
别理那条鱼 它在开玩笑呢 在扯淡呢 Ignore that fish, it's joking. It's not serious.
它在抬杠呢 It's just having a jab.
大粗吊
帕秋莎 我要求你覆写憎恶"南银窝"的设定 PATRICIA, I demand you overwrite your hate of the "manc ave."
覆写 覆 写 Override, ov-er-ride...
骑在头上
搞笑 你永远都不能骑在我头上 funny, you never ride me over.
憎恶 南银窝 大粗吊 Can't-love-manc-ave-dig-old-bicks
必须毁灭南银窝 Must destroy manc ave!
你给她装了火箭发射器 You gave her rocket launchers?
用它们造机器人会容易一些 特里 It's harder to build a robot without them, Terry.
它们的承重能力很好 They're load-bearing.
大粗吊 我现在明白了 Oh, dig old bicks. I get it now.
-你明白了 到底什么意思 -我不知道 - You do? What, what does it mean? - I don't know.
必须憎恶南银窝
♪ 我有老虎一般的眼睛 ♪ ♪ I got the eye of the tiger ♪
♪ 在火中起舞 ♪ ♪ I am dancing through the fire ♪
♪ 胜者是我 ♪ ♪ I am the champion ♪
♪ 你会听到我的怒吼 ♪ ♪ And you're gonna hear me roar ♪
♪ 比狮子的咆哮还要响亮 ♪ ♪ Louder, louder than a lion ♪
♪ 因为胜者是我 ♪ ♪ 'Cause I am the champion ♪
拜托 停一停 左边第二扇门 Oh, no, please, stop. Second door on the left.
不 Oh, no.
抱歉 请让我过去 女权主义女英雄来了 Excuse me, pardon me. Female feminist hero comin' through.
男士们 请让一让 我 一位女子 Move aside, men. I, a woman,
来此打碎玻璃天花板 have arrived to topple the glass ceiling
把父权砸个稀烂 and shatter the fuck out of the patriarchy.
我们在找建立这个社团的男孩 他叫杰茜 Yeah, we're looking for Jesse, the guy who set up this club.
我可要告诉你们 杰茜不是个男孩 Well, I've got news for you. Jesse isn't a boy.
他是个女孩 就是在下 He's a girl, and it's me.
等等 这是你的社团吗 Whoa, whoa, whoa. This is your club?
是 但很抱歉 这到底不是个男子社团 Yep, sorry, but this isn't a boy club after all.
我们不想加入 We don't wanna join.
我们是为了抗议才来的 We're here in protest to speak up for all the women
为所有不能为自己发声的女性发声 who are too weak to speak for themselves.
-但我建这个社团是为了 -你懂不懂 - But I made this club to-- - Do you have any idea
性别歧视 how messed up it is to discriminate against people
-有多糟糕 -我懂 - based on their gender? - Uh, yeah.
在你打断我之前 我刚要说这个的 I was just about to say that when you interrupted--
我有两个姐妹 没什么比厌女症更能激怒我了 As the brother of two sisters, nothing enrages me more than misogyny,
而这就是厌女症 and this is misogyny.
-这不是 -这是 - Uh-huh, it's not. - Yes, it is.
你必须马上把这个社团注销 You need to shut this club down right now.
不行 我还没打碎父权呢 我评分要用的 No, not before I topple it. I need it for my grade.
如果她不动手 我们就得亲自来了 If she's not gonna do it, we have to tear it down ourselves.
求求你们 停下来 Please, stop.
让我们在她让女人们感到不安全之前灭了她 Let's get her before she creates an unsafe environment for all women.
-不不不 -她要逃 - Oh, no, no, no. - She's running.
-这说明她有罪 -愤怒的暴徒 兄弟们 - That means she's guilty. - Angry mob, bros.
她在毁掉我唯一热爱的有关人类的东西 She's ruining the only thing I actually liked about humans.
-我们得阻止她 -要我说 我们就抓住她 - We need to stop her. - Okay, I say we just grab her
让她送我们上床 给我们讲故事 and make her tuck us into bed and read us stories.
我们不能直接抓住她 特里 她会用激光刃 We can't just grab her, Terry. She'll slice us in half
-把我们切成两半 -这是谁的错啊 - with her laser blades. - And whose fault is that?
我不知道该怎么办 Huh? I don't know what to do.
等等 如果她憎恶"南银窝" 我们得把她 Wait, if she hates the "manc aves," we need to lure her
引到我们能找到的最大最蠢的"南银窝" to the biggest, stupidest "manc ave" we can find.
我知道该去哪了 I know just the place.
戴宝氏 美国餐厅与娱乐公司 探测到运动音乐
杀手模式 激活
老天 她来了 Oh, crap, here she comes.
快进去 Get inside.
我们得把激活戒指从她手上摘下来 The activation ring. We have to get it off her finger.
目标是戒指 Aim for the ring.
这些黏黏手我全要了 多少券 How many tickets for all your sticky hands?
我不知道 一百万吧 I don't know. Like, a million. Hey!
这些可是用我的工资券买的 Those come out of the tickets they pay me with.
趁现在 Now!
佩雷兹老师 佩雷兹老师 Ms. Perez, Ms. Perez!
杰茜 你来这干什么 Jesse, what are you doing here?
学校的事 你不会懂的 School stuff. You wouldn't understand!
趴下 Get down!
佩雷兹老师 我试着造个玻璃天花板来打碎 Ms. Perez, I tried to make a glass ceiling to break,
但我把一群女权主义者气疯了 你得帮我 but a bunch of male allies got mad. You gotta help me.
你他妈在说什么啊 What the fuck are you talking about?
我对推动女权进步无能为力 佩雷兹老师 I couldn't move us women forward, Ms. Perez.
求求你别挂掉我 Please don't give me an F.
我都没意识到你是个女孩 I didn't even realize you were a girl.
我还以为你要画杜库伯爵的光剑呢 I thought you were gonna draw Count Dooku's lightsaber.
《星球大战》角色
什么 可我戴了头花 What? But I have a bow.
我不知道 你是个绿皮人 I don't know, you're green
你的嘴拉开之后比脸还宽 and your mouth extends past the boundaries of your face.
我怎么知道 How would I know?
如果你真的想打倒父权 拿A If you really wanna topple the patriarchy and get an A,
-这就是你的机会 -你说得对 佩雷兹老师 - this is your chance. - You're right, Ms. Perez.
征服机器人是每个女权主义英雄的必经之路 Every feminist hero had their robot to conquer.
该教教你们两个淘气 差劲的小大人 Time for you two naughty/disappointing boy men
如何做人了 to learn a lesson.
杀手模式 激活
性别 未知
帕秋莎 住手 Patricia, stop.
性别 未知 Gender not found.
这是因为我是个外星人 That's because I'm an alien plant.
直到现在我才意识到 这没关系 It took me all this time to realize that's okay.
我可以随心所欲 你也可以 I can do whatever I want. So can you.
可我是母亲 我是妻子 我是母亲 我是 But I'm a mom, I'm a wife, I'm a mom, I'm a--
怎么会 你是一名机器人杀手 No way, Jose. You're a killer robot.
如果这让你快乐 那就尽情去做吧 And if that's what makes you happy, then lean into it.
我不需要杀男人 我可以想杀谁就杀谁 I don't have to kill men. I could be killing anyone I want.
与性别无关 我谁都可以杀 No matter what gender. I could kill everyone!
今天可不行 Ha, not today.
不 我要杀死世上所有的人类... No, I was about to kill all humans in the world...
帕秋莎 对不起 我得把你关掉 Patricia, I'm sorry. But I have to turn you off.
性致大减
每天你脱衣服时 我都性致大减 You turn me off every day when you take off your shirt.
怎么了 科尔沃 你怎么停手了 What's wrong, Korvo? Why-why'd you stop?
我不能把她废了 特里 I can't deactivate her, Terry.
我没意识到 我的心缺了一角 I didn't realize I had a hole in my heart.
只有源源不断的刻薄挖苦和性讽刺 A hole that needed to be demeaned with a non-stop barrage
才能将它填补 of insults and sexual criticism.
我们不能拆了她 可我们也不能和她一起住 We can't kill her, but we can't live with her.
那我们怎么办 So what do we do?
我们当初想 我们需要一个"南银窝" We started this thinking we needed a "manc ave"
来填补内心的缺憾 to fill a gaping hole inside of us.
但其实 我们真正需要的是 要明白 But what we truly needed was to know
我们的缺憾各不相同 that we have different types of gaping holes
需要用其他方法去填补 that need other ways to be filled.
你让我们明白 我们不必躲在"窝"里 妈妈 You taught us that we don't have to hide in an "ave," Mom.
-谢谢你 -我们不能把你拆掉 - Thank you. - We can't kill you
但我们也不能让你四处杀人放火 and we can't have you going around and setting stuff on fire.
所以从现在开始 这个集装箱就是你的家 So from now on, you'll live in this shipping container.
我们真的要把她送走吗 Do we really have to get rid of her?
我们或许可以留下她 作为女权的象征 Maybe we can keep her around like a feminist icon.
你的裙子太短了 男生们会觉得你很放荡 Your dress is too short. Boys will think you're a slut.
你不是我真正的妈妈 闭嘴 You're not my real mom! Shut up!
帕秋莎 到进集装箱的时间了 Patricia, it's time to get in the container.
别担心 你不会感到无聊的 Don't worry, you won't be bored.
我为你做了个蠢机器人解闷 I made you a cuck-bot for company.
有没有人想去GAP退换衣服啊 Does anyone want to go to the Gap and make some returns?
经营美国服装饰品的零售商
我没想让他看起来像泰德·克鲁兹 I didn't try to make him look like Ted Cruz.
美国政治人物
不知怎么就成这样了 It just happens with these things.
你好 你怎么穿这个 Hello. You're wearing that?
我以为我把它扔掉了 你摆臭脸给谁看 I thought I threw that out. Why are you making that face?
-我没摆臭脸 -老天 你可真讨人嫌 - I'm not making a face. - God, you're annoying.
你鼻音还能更重点吗 真男人是不会让外星人 Could you be more nasal? A real man wouldn't let an alien
把他装进集装箱埋掉的 bury him in a shipping container.
这样挺好的 我们想她的时候 It's nice to know that any time we miss her,
就可以出来 we can come outside
我们知道她就在我们脚下几英尺的地方 and we know that she's just a few feet down there
大肆抨击他呢 just ripping into him, you know?
挑剔他刷牙的方式 没有正确弓背 On how he brushes his teeth, and how he doesn't arch his back properly.
说他站不直 笨拙 The way he stands all crooked and how he's all weasley
又瘦又没肌肉之类的 and thin and not muscly or anything.
-对 -我刚度过了超疯狂的一周 - Yeah. - Wow, I just had the craziest week.
是啊 你一直都不在 你去做什么了 Oh, yeah, you weren't around. What were you doing this whole time?
我一不小心让成百上千只考拉逃出了动物园 I accidentally let hundreds of koalas out of the zoo
然后花了好久才把它们全都抓回去 and then spent a ton of time rounding them all up.
那个动物园住得下一百只考拉吗 The zoo has the capacity to house hundreds of koalas?
是 它们跑得满城都是 Yeah, they were running all over town.
我用迪吉里杜管才哄住他们 I had to coax them with didgeridoos.
都上新闻了 怎么 你们完全没看到 It was on the news. Like, you-you didn't see any of that?
好了 进去 进去啊 进去 Okay, get in, get in here, get in.
你们那个与性别相关的事怎么样了 Hey, so how did your gender-based stories turn out?
挺好的 我觉得我们做得尽善尽美 Uh, good, yeah. I mean, I think we covered every angle
也大抵解决了问题 所以 and pretty much solved it, so.
对 我觉得每个人都会对我们的成果感到满意 Yeah, I think everyone will be very happy with what we did.
我很高兴我们挺了过来 因为我觉得 Well, I'm glad we survived, because I don't think
这是我们能遇到的最有争议性的话题了 there's a more controversial topic we could have dealt with.
同学们 下次作业 Okay, class. Next assignment,
在座的每个人都要找到一个种族主义者 everyone here has to find a racist
告诉他们这样做是不对的 and teach them the error of their ways.
耶 Yay!