你不再是亚伯拉罕·林肯 美国总统了 You are no longer Abraham Lincoln, US president.
你现在是亚伯拉罕·林肯 汽车斗士 You are now Abraham Lincoln, car fighter.
太他妈赞了 上啊 Fuck yes. Okay, let's go.
-特里 -不聊 我健身呢 - Terry! - Can't talk, working out.
这很重要 噗噗变成橘色了 This is important. The-the-the Pupa turned orange.
然后呢 你把我的Hulu Vizu弄坏了 And? Hey, you broke my Hulu Vizu!
噗噗不该是橘色的 它的色号应该是潘通101C The Pupa is not supposed to be orange. It's Pantone 101-C.
-这是怎么了 -我他妈怎么会知道 - What does it mean? - How the hell am I supposed to know?
因为这归你管 特里 Because it's your job, Terry.
我修理飞船 你照看噗噗 I fix the ship, you take care of the Pupa.
是的 这归我管 有道理 Right, yes, that is my job. Fair.
一旦这玩意进化到终极形态 Once this thing evolves into its ultimate form,
就会吞掉这个星球上的一切 it'll consume everything on this planet
把它变成新的什洛普星 and terraform it to become our new home world.
这意味着我们也会 Which means we'll get eaten
和万物一起被吞掉 我认为 and terraformed with everything else, I think.
如果变橘色是它灭世的第一步怎么办 What if it turning orange is the first step to total annihilation?
等等 我觉得它暖烘烘的 这重要吗 Wait, I-I-I think it feels hot. Is that important?
不 它一直都暖烘烘的 所幸我是个天才 No, it's always hot. Luckily, I'm a genius
早就怀疑你做不好这件事 and suspected you were incapable of handling this
我就做了一张记录有关噗噗的重要信息的小卡片 so I made a little card with important Pupa information on it.
我放在我的钱包里了 找到它就行 I have it in my wallet. Just gotta find it.
妈的 我把钱包放哪了 Damn it, where did I put my--
我上次用什洛普币付款是什么时候 when was the last time I needed Shlorpian money to pay for something?
是不是在那家亚美尼亚熟食店 Wa-wa-wa-was it at that Armenian deli?
是在什洛普星上 Whoa, it was on Shlorp!
但是片头里说 我们的母星炸了 But the home world blew up in the opening credits.
我们别无选择 我必须启用溯踪器 Which leaves us no choice. I must use the Retrace-Your-Stepalizer
设备穿越回过去 回到母星 device to travel back in time, return to the home world,
找到我的钱包 and find my wallet.
我就不去了 听起来真麻烦 Eh, I'm gonna pass. That sounds like a lot of work
而且噗噗从没在地球杀过谁 所以 and the Pupa's never killed everybody on Earth before, so...
它要炸了 Oh, it's gonna blow!
什洛普星曾是个完美的乌托邦 直到被小行星撞上 Planet Shlorp was a perfect utopia until the asteroid hit.
一百个成人以及他们的复制人分到了一只噗噗 One hundred adults and their replicants were issued a Pupa
逃往了太空 and escaped into, uh, the space,
在杳无人迹的世界里寻找新家 searching for new homes on uninhabited worlds.
我们坠落在地球上 困在了一个已经人口过密的星球 We crashed on Earth, stranding us on an already over-populated planet.
是的 我一直在说这个 That's right, I've been talking this whole time.
抱着噗噗的人是我 我叫科尔沃 I'm the one holding the Pupa. My name's Korvo.
这是我的节目 我的噗噗掉了 This is, this is my show. I just dropped the Pupa.
你看到我了吗 这太荒唐了 Do you see me? This is ridiculous.
我讨厌地球 这是个糟糕的家园 I hate Earth. It's a horrible home.
人类愚蠢至极 恐龙都他妈哪去了 People are stupid. Where the fuck are all the dinosaurs?
人类都对恐龙做了什么 What did they do to all the dinosaurs?
外星也难民 第一季 第八集[季终]
那个束 束中器在哪啊 So, uh, where's the retruce-von-something geyser?
它是一个背后有巨大时钟的飞船吗 Does it look like a spaceship with a big clock on the back?
那叫溯踪器 The Retrace-Your-Stepalizer.
这种高科技鞋能让穿戴者穿越时空 It's high-tech shoes that allow the wearer to travel back in time
回到他们曾去过的地方 to places they've stood in the past.
这种鞋一只要110亿元 These things cost $11 billion a shoe.
-会发光吗 -我的会 - Do they light up? - Mine do.
-为什么酷的那双归你 -因为我说了算 - Oh, why do you get the cool ones? - Because I'm in charge.
使用溯踪器要遵守一系列特殊的规则 The Retrace-Your-Stepalizer has a specific set of instructions.
违反规则可能会对时空连续造成 Failure to comply could result in catastrophic outcomes
灾难性的后果 你明白了吗 特里 for the space-time continuum. Do you understand, Terry?
-穿鞋有规则 明白了 -第一条规则 - Shoes with rules. Got it. - Rule number one.
在使用溯踪器时 While using the Retrace-Your-Stepalizers,
过去的人看不到也听不到我们 no one in the past will be able to see or hear us.
第二条 我们只能在过去停留八小时 Two, we can only stay in the past for eight hours
否则我们会化成黏液 or we'll turn into slime.
第三条 我们不能学习任何新的... Three, we can't learn anything new...
自我提示 椒盐脆饼是最被低估了的开胃菜 Note to self, the pretzel bite is the most underrated appetizer.
应该有人和写菜单的人讲一讲 Someone should say something to whoever is making those menus.
那些恼人的菜单 有些菜单太长了 Those pesky menus. Some of them are too long.
一大堆菜名 所以我不吃中餐 Too many items. That's why I don't eat Chinese.
-没别的原因 -你在听我讲吗 - No other reason-- - Are you listening to me?
在 在 化成黏液 接着讲 Yeah, yeah, slime, keep going.
杰茜 你又忘关模拟舱的门了 Jesse, ugh, you left the Pretend-O-Deck open again.
欢迎回到模拟舱 雅姆莱克 Welcome back to the Pretend-O-Deck, Yumyulack.
阿伊莎 把杰茜刚刚跑的程序调出来 Hey, Aisha, play the last program that Jesse was running.
你不认为这会侵犯她的隐私吗 Well, that's an invasion of her privacy, don't you think?
会 这才棒啊 Yeah, that's why it's gonna be awesome.
覆写指令协议 Override protocol.
密码 潘娜拉面包店 把E换成3 Password. Panera Bread with 3's for the E's.
美国和加拿大的加盟连锁面包店
接受覆写指令 重启上个程序 你个小变态 Override accepted. Resuming last program, you little creep.
你好 杰茜 我是趣姆莱克 Hello, Jesse, I'm Funyulack.
我们接着玩精彩的变装蒙太奇好吗 Want to continue our awesome makeover montage?
我们上次换到牛仔装了 We left off on a cowboy outfit.
这他妈是什么 你是什么玩意 What the hell is this? What are you supposed to be?
我是趣姆莱克 我和你一模一样 I'm Funyulack. I'm exactly like you,
但比你更风趣 更善解人意 but funner and nicer
我会编辫子 还会烘焙 and I know how to braid and bake bread.
杰茜在这里造了一个更友好的我 这不可能 Jesse's got a nicer me in here? That's impossible.
每次我走进房间 总有人说"可真棒" Every time I walk into a room, someone says, "Oh, great."
杰茜觉得你是个混蛋 她说有一次 Well, Jesse thinks you're a dick. She said one time--
他试着用我去和巫婆换PS4 He tried to trade me to a witch for a PS4.
是 可她不换 Yeah, but she wouldn't take the deal.
你不能抱怨自己差点被换给巫婆 You can't complain about almost being traded to a witch.
他取笑我走路和呼吸的方式 He makes fun of the way I walk and breathe.
拜托 Come on.
你见没见过她怎么走路 嘚嘚嘚 上气不接下气 Have you ever watched her walk? It's all clop, clop, clop, gasp, gasp.
我喜欢她走路的方式 来打我啊 I like the way she walks. Shoot me.
-我认为那很优雅 -那你们俩怎么不结婚呢 - I think it's elegant. - Then why don't you two get married?
-我倒是想啊 -恶心 - I wish. - Gross!
这太乱来了 我多团结友爱啊 This is messed up. I'm super nice.
我猜我得用自己健美的双臂 I guess I'll have to force Jesse to like me
让杰茜爱上我 with Craig T. and Nelson.
第58条 不许和过去的人坠入爱河 Rule 58, don't fall in love with anyone in the past
否则我们就会化成黏液 你是睡着了吗 or we'll turn into slime. Are you sleeping?
什么都别碰 否则我们就会化成黏液 Uh, don't touch anything or we turn into slime.
我希望自己可以触碰过去的事物 I wish I could touch stuff in the past,
但那样不行 but it-it doesn't work like that.
我们更像是鬼魂 It's more like we're ghosts.
那我们怎么才能把你的钱包搞到手 Uh, well then, how are we getting your wallet?
我们得用溯物杖 We'll have to use the Retouch-Your-Stuff-Alizer.
这是从母星带来的吗 Wow, that came from the homeworld?
看起来就是跟棍子上绑了只叉子 Uh, kind of just looks like a stick with a spork.
知道吗 本来需要有执照才能使用这个 You know, you're supposed to get a license to use one of these,
但管事的都被炸飞了 我们用应该没事 but that office blew up, so we should be fine.
现在 是时候回溯我们的踪迹了 And now, it's time to retrace our steps.
什洛普星 两年前
美丽的什洛普 Beautiful Shlorp.
我太怀念这个美妙的严酷极权主义星球了 Oh, how I've missed this wonderful strict totalitarian place.
感觉比我记忆中的小了 A lot smaller than I remember.
从没想过还有机会回到我的老住处 Ah, I never thought I'd see my old quarters again.
在这里我跟那么多组方程式交过欢 Oh, God, I made love to a lot of equations in here.
你干过数学 真有你的 Oh, you fucked math? Rad.
是年轻的你 It's young you.
该死 姐妹 你之前可真是瘦啊 Damn, girl, you used to be way skinnier.
不开玩笑 你去站到自己边上看看差距 Oh, seriously, stand next to yourself. See the difference.
你真是放飞自我了 You have let yourself go!
看 你把钱包落在桌子上了 Look, you left the wallet on the table.
太好了 特里 现在我要用溯物杖 Oh, that's perfect, Terry. I will now use the stick
一路把钱包敲回停在太空港的飞船里 to hit the wallet into our ship at the space port.
等我们回到现在 钱包应该就在里面了 It should then be in the ship when we return to the present.
你是故意打不中来逗我笑的吗 Are you missing on purpose just to make me giggle?
-别看我了 -确实搞笑 - Stop watching me. - It's working.
别一直盯着我看 Don't watch me do this.
你好啊 小东西 Oh, hello, little one.
想来点生锈罐头里的过期饼干吗 Would you like a stale cookie from a rusty tin?
我这是在哪 我死了吗 Where am I? Are we dead?
下午好 洛瑞妮 Good afternoon, Lorraine.
我知道这些年里你失去了很多 I know that you've lost many things over the years.
你的子女搬走了 你的丈夫离世了 Your children moved away. Your husband is gone.
甚至你的朋友们也离开了人间 Even your friends have died.
如今你只剩下自身的记忆 All you have left are your memories.
你的机会来了 洛瑞妮 This is your chance, Lorraine.
我能进入你的大脑 为你展示过去的经历 I can access your mind and show you anything you've ever seen.
有哪些事情 是已经离你远去的 Is there something you've lost that you can't remember
需要我来帮你回忆起来的呢 which I can give you?
我记不起来我母亲的长相了 I can't remember the face of my mother.
我就希望我能再见她最后一面 I just wish I could see her one last time.
大家都好放松 即便他们知道之后会爆炸 Everyone is so relaxed even though they're about to explode.
真是高等社会的标志 除了恐慌区里的人 Truly the mark of an advanced society. Except for the panic zones.
我决定听天由命了 I have resigned myself to death,
但我走了之后仍会怀念我的朋友和家人 although I will miss my friends and family when I'm gone.
这种家伙可太丢人了 Oof, that guy's embarrassing himself.
我们就快到太空港了 Hey, we're almost at the space port.
我们只需要把它敲进舱门 就大功告成了 We just need to smack this bad boy into the hatch and we'll be done.
你能行的 You got this, boy!
该死 Damn it!
任务完成 我们快回去吧 Hey, mission accomplished. Now let's get back.
我要接着在Hulu Vizu上看剧了 I gotta watch some more Hulu Vizu.
总算有了点关于噗噗的答案 好吧 Finally, some answers about the Pupa. All right,
如果你的噗噗变成了橘色 If your Pupa turns orange,
那是因为它吃掉了什么橘色的东西 it means it ate something orange.
我确实喂过一袋混合版的多力多滋与奇多 Well, I did feed it a bag of Doritos Cheetos party blast.
你还记得吗 去年有一次 You know, the same stuff that turned me orange
我也吃完它也变成橘色的了 when I ate it last year.
这下放心了 我们不会被噗噗给吞噬掉 This is a relief. We aren't going to get consumed by the Pupa,
至少今天不会了 并且我们改变了历史 at least not today, and we changed the past without creating
也没导致任何的蝴蝶效应 真是一记暴扣 a single unintended butterfly effect. So we really slam dunked it.
-瞧瞧我们 简直是球星了 -篮球明星 - Look at us, we're ballers. - We are ballers, ho ho.
嘿 基佬们 Hey, futtbuckers!
时代啤酒喝完了 We're outta Stella.
你们打算谁去 补充下库存 Is somebody gonna go, uh, replenish?
等等 什么 你他妈的是谁啊 Wait, what? Who the fuck are you?
我的妈呀 家里有个外星人 Holy shit, there's an alien in our house!
少开玩笑了 你们俩还有家务要做 Quit jerking around. You two have chores to do.
快帮我把背心和无指手套都整理好 Help me organize all my vests and fingerless gloves.
你不是说所有人都炸死了吗 I thought you said everyone got exploded.
你到底是哪根葱 在我们家里干什么 Who are you and what are you doing in our house?
你们说什么呢 我是凡波 What are you talking about? I'm Vanbo.
我们一起从什洛普星逃出来的呀 记得吗 We escaped Shlorp together, remember?
凡波 我念得对吗 凡波 Vanbo? Am I saying that right? Vanbo?
科尔沃 Whoa, Korvo!
你胖了好多啊 You really put on the pounds, pal.
你看着像蓝色史瑞克似的 You're lookin' like a blue Shrek.
你的驴子去哪了 蓝史瑞克 Where's your donkey at, blue Shrek?
对了特里 我把你的PS4弄坏了 Oh, and Terry, I broke your PS4
因为我试着用它做披萨来着 because I tried to cook a little pizza in it.
那可是我刚跟女巫那换来的 你这个混 Hey, I just got that from a witch. You son of a-- aah!
这到底是什么情况 Okay, what the shit is going on?
我们肯定是无意间改变了过去的某件事 We must have inadvertently changed something in the past,
导致现在来到了一个黑暗 异常的时间线 resulting in us now being in a dark, deviant time stream.
显然其中一个结果就是 One of the results being that
凡波加入了我们的任务 Vanbo apparently joined us on our mission
然后就一直跟我们在这住下去了 and has been living with us this whole time.
我可受不了跟这种一眼便知的人住在一起 Hey, man, I-I-I can't live with a dude this basic.
我打赌他有个犯罪播客 他就是罪犯 I bet he has a true crime podcast. Like he does one.
收听犯罪播客 没问题 亲自动手那就... Listening, cool. Doing one, yee-hee.
我们必须回到过去 撤销对钱包的变动 We have to go back to the past and undo the wallet change,
那样应该能让我们回到正确的实现线上 which should return us to the correct time stream.
就能甩掉凡波了 And that'll get rid of Vanbo?
在之前的时间线 凡波肯定死在什洛普了 In the previous time stream, Vanbo surely died on Shlorp.
所以说 是的 但完全不是为了摆脱凡波 So yes, but this isn't about Vanbo.
只是为了修正时间线 This is about fixing the time stream.
对对 时间线是重点 Yeah, yeah, the time stream is the priority,
但你确定凡波会死吧 but you're sure Vanbo will die?
是的 尸体都会被小行星撞得气化了 Yes, his body will be vaporized by the asteroid.
-我们简直是英雄 -特里 到厨房来 - We're-we're heroes. - Terry, get in the kitchen
给我做个瘦猪肉三明治 and make me a lean pork sandwich!
快点 我们走 Quick, come on, go, let's go.
那是我们的溯物杖 There's our stick.
现在我们只需要再把钱包打出去 Now all we have to do is hit the wallet back out.
这应该能抵消对时间线的影响了 That should undo the changes to the time stream.
-我们是英雄 -完完全全是英雄 - We're heroes. - Total heroes.
杰茜 跟我讲讲你今天的事 或者任何事 So, Jesse, tell me about your day, or something?
-真的吗 -嗯 - Really? - Mm, yes.
-好吧 我发现劳伦斯开始 -谁在乎啊 - Well, I found out Lawrence started-- - Who cares?
我的天 你这是来姨妈了还是怎么了 Jeez Louise, are you on your zeriod or something?
是的 但跟那没关系 Yeah, but it has nothing to do with it.
我只想不刻意争取也能让你喜欢我 I just want you to like me without earning it.
我想要无条件的喜欢 I want unconditional like.
等下 你在乎我是否喜欢你 这可真暖心 Wait, you care if I like you? That is so sweet.
不 我只是 只是想确保你不会 No, I just, I just, I don't want to worry about you
在我惹你讨厌时 从背后用科幻枪射我 zapping me in the back with a crazy sci-fi gun when I piss you off.
你在说什么啊 What are you even talking about?
我不知道 去你的 Ah, I don't know! Fuck you!
你可真是戏精 Uh, phone call for drama queen!
凡波 这里有叫凡波的吗 Vanbo? Is there anyone named Vanbo here?
-我在找凡波 -啥 没有 - Looking for a Vanbo. - What? No.
-好好好 -太好了 - Yes, yes, yes, all right. - Yeah! Yeah-yee!
他出去跑腿了 He's out running an errand.
凡波回来喽 Hey-o, Vanbo's back!
好消息 我用制金机换来了 Great news. I traded the gold-making machine
这些超贵的老鼠 for these expensive rats.
看见没 它们这就爱上你们了 See? They love you already.
看看 亲亲它们 Check it out. Give 'em a little kiss.
滚蛋 Fuck you.
我们只有弄明白凡波是怎么躲过星球毁灭的 We can't go back to the present until we figure out
才能回到现在 how the hell Vanbo keeps surviving planetary destruction.
我都不记得和这人一起生活过 I, I don't even remember living with the guy.
谁知道时间旅行这么复杂 Man, who thought time travel would be so convoluted?
时间旅行应该是简洁和线性的 这不是我的错 Time travel should be clear and linear. This isn't my fault.
也不是我的错 Well, it's not my fault.
你看 是过去的我们的第一次见面 Oh, look, hey, it's the past us meeting for the first time.
瞧瞧 Aw, look at that.
很高兴能与你一起执行本次任务 I am pleased to embark on this mission with you.
我猜你热爱科学并且信奉逻辑 I assume you love science and worship at the altar of logic.
那是 科学最牛逼 Hell yeah. Science rules.
我超爱科学 我是一个噗噗专家 I love that stuff and I'm a Pupa expert.
我对噗噗了如指掌 I know everything about the Pupa.
特里 你跟着过去的我 我跟着过去的你 Terry, you follow past me, and I will follow past you.
不行 我想跟着过去的我 No, I wanna follow past me.
特里 因为我们两个都不记得见到过凡波 Terry, since neither of us remember meeting Vanbo,
我们都必须成为彼此的外界观测者 we must both be outside observers for the other.
-我们在太空港见 -好 - I will see you at the space port. - All right, sounds good.
我又变年轻了 I'm young again.
宝贝 你能帮我拿一下这些从小猪扭扭超市买的杂货吗 Honey, can you help me unload these groceries from the Piggly Wiggly?
妈妈 你太美了 Mama, you're so beautiful.
你嘴真甜 Aw, that's a nice thing to say.
我好想你 I've missed you so much.
来 和我一起奔跑 Come, run with me.
我亲爱的妈妈 现在我记起来她的样子了 Oh, my sweet mother. Now that I remember her face,
我在天堂里就能找到她了 I'll be able to find her when I'm in heaven.
我现在就算死也可以瞑目了 I can die now knowing that everything will be okay.
谢谢你 我一定有什么办法能报答你 Oh, thank you. There has to be some way I can repay you for this.
在我的厨房里 有一个带着儿童防护锁的柜子 In my kitchen, there's a cabinet with a child-proof lock.
里面有两节AA电池和一个哈利波特哨子 Inside are two AA batteries and a Harry Potter whistle.
替我拿过来 Get them for me.
-你想要电池 -还有哈利波特哨子 - You want batteries? - And a Harry Potter whistle.
你是对的 我一点也不好 Oh, man, you were right. I'm not nice.
太差劲了 我以为我挺好的 This sucks. I thought I was great.
雅姆莱克 我的朋友 意识到自己的差劲之处 Yumyulack, my friend, recognizing you suck
就是通往优秀的第一步 is the first step towards de-suckifying.
行 混蛋 告诉我怎么样才能对杰茜好 Okay, fuckface, tell me how to be nice to Jesse and do it yesterday.
我们一般逛她最喜欢的店 Well, we usually just hang out at her favorite place.
天啊 蠢死了 Oh, my God, this is so dumb.
欢迎光临巴氏消毒酸奶店 Welcome to the Pasteur Pasteurized Yogurt Parlor,
世界上第一家以路易·巴斯德为主题的酸奶店 the world's first Louis Pasteur-themed yogurt shop.
你好 托德 你把牛奶快速加热后 Sup, Todd? You flash heating that milk
就可以喝了 对吧 so it's safe to drink, yo?
这就叫巴氏消毒法 老弟 That's what pasteurization is, my man.
太傻了 杰茜真是个废物 This is so rich. Jesse is such a loser.
闭上你的臭嘴 Shut your fucking mouth!
这是我才会说出来的话 你果然像我 A-ha! That's something I would say. You are like me.
才不是 现在我要向你演示怎样才能友善 I am not. Now, I'm gonna show you how to be nice.
阿伊莎 在这里来一个杰茜的全息影像 Aisha, give us a little Jesse hologram up in this business.
好的 Okay.
杰茜 你今天的味道真好闻 Hey, Jesse. You smell great today.
我们一起选几个口味吧 Why don't we all sample some flavors together?
谢谢 好朋友 Thanks, best friend.
我想尝尝麻疹疫苗菠萝味的 I wanna try Measles Inoculation Pineapple.
去死 我先来 Die! Me first!
暂停程序 雅姆 你这样太不对了 Freeze program. Yum, baby, you are so not money right now.
你觉得让她去死很好吗 Do you really think it was nice telling her to die?
-对 -不对 那样很坏 - Yes. - No, it was mean.
-你骗了我 -好 我们从基础开始 - Hey, you tricked me! - Okay, let's go back to the basics.
尝试对她微笑 Just try smiling at her.
今晚可有的教了 Oh, this is gonna be a long night.
最好泡上一壶全息咖啡 We better put on a pot of hologram coffee.
土壤 生养我们的子宫 Oh, soil, the womb in which we grow.
你的奥秘无时无刻不吸引着我 Your secrets never cease to delight me.
靠 真是个呆子 Oof, what a dork.
休息时间到 Work relaxation period commencing.
同事们 我刚刚见到了安排给我的噗噗专家 Work colleagues, I just met my assigned Pupa specialist,
-他是 -帅哥 他要说帅哥 - and he is-- - Handsome, he's gonna say handsome.
一个傻子 看看这张傻脸 An idiot. Just look at that stupid face.
他估计都不会区别佛罗沃克斯阵列 He probably doesn't even know his florvox array
和格特利诺相位振荡器 from his gortrino phase oscillatorr.
难 以 置 信 Un-believ-able.
将你的噗噗放入一厘米深的颜料池中 Place your Pupa in a one-centimeter-deep pool of pigment
让它自己染色三小时 and let it ink itself for three hours.
好啊 特瑞 我好想你 宝贝 What up, Teri? I missed you, babe.
我想你了 宝宝 你是我的小宝宝 Missed you, little boo-boo. You're my boo-boo girl.
天呐 这小妞就是特里的生活伴侣 Good grief, that smokeshow is Terry's life mate?
名字也叫特瑞 他怎么完全没提过这事 And its name is also Teri? How has he never mentioned this?
我刚刚碰见了我的疏散搭档 Oh, man, I just met my evacuation partner.
呆子一个 Total derf.
不能和你 却要和那个无聊的傻子一起走可真是太糟了 Sucks that I can't take you instead of his boring, flat ass.
31827号 安静 系上你最上面的扣子 Number 31827, be quiet! Also, button your top button.
但是我这样要酷多了 But I look way cooler this way.
统一才是酷的 Conformity is cool!
统一才是酷的 统一才是酷的 Conformity is cool, conformity is cool,
统一才是酷的 conformity is cool.
是的 杰茜 你选的香草味非常好 Yes, Jesse, your choice of vanilla is fine
并不是给小孩吃的 and not for babies.
不行 你不能 等等 你成功了 阿伊莎 分析恶意 No, you can't-- wait, you did it. Aisha, analyze malice.
未检测到恶意 No malice detected.
-我做到了 -恭喜你 雅姆莱克 - I did it. - Congratulations, Yumyulack.
为了奖励你的认真学习 我送给你 For all your hard work, I'd like to reward you
你最喜欢的复仇者贴纸 with this sticker of your favorite Avenger.
太棒了 是鹰眼 Ooh, hell yeah! Hawkeye!
他有箭筒 他真名是克林特 He's got a quiver. His real name is Clint.
我的超能力是瞄准 瞄准你 瞄准你 Whoo, my superpower is aim. Aim at you, aim at you.
-你今晚会睡得很死 -瞄准你 瞄准你 - You're gonna sleep like a log tonight. - Aim at you, aim at you...
你上次打扫墙是什么时候 When's the last time you cleaned out the Wall?
自从他们发明了宗教以来 It's been getting super gross in there
这里就变得超级恶心 ever since they invented religion.
杰茜 你好 我想问候你 Jesse, hello. I wanted to greet you
然后告诉你你的弓看上去很不错 and tell you that your bow looks nice.
等等 这是陷阱吗 It-wait, is this a trap?
如果是陷阱 你得告诉我 Because you have to tell me if it's a trap.
-我是来恭维你的 -是吗 - I came in here to compliment you. - You did?
是的 我已经说了 我得在我搞砸前走人 Yes, and I did it. Gotta go before I mess it up.
你看上去很棒 拜 You look great, bye!
-王八蛋 -猜猜怎么着 - You son of a bitch. - Oh, yeah, well guess what?
你弱爆了 You suck.
你想把你的傻逼生活伴侣带去地球吗 You wanted to bring your stupid life mate to Earth, huh?
你觉得带"王"的特瑞比我好 You-you think Teri with an "I" is better than me?
你觉得我的脸很弱智 You think I have a stupid face
我不知道怎么处理噗噗 and that I don't know what I'm doing with the Pupa.
你本来就不知道 You don't!
我做到了 我对杰茜很好 Well, I did it. I was nice to Jesse.
我是你认识的最善良的人 I'm the nicest motherfucker you've ever met.
-这太棒了 -非常感谢你 - This is wonderful. - Thank you so, so much
花那么多时间让我成为一个更好的外星人 for spending all that time making me a better alien.
既然我变善良了 我可以把你删了 And now that I'm nice, I can delete your ass.
-删除一个人可不善良 -我知道 - Hey, deleting someone isn't nice. - Yeah, I know.
但我不想让杰茜发现 But I never want Jesse to find out
我需要训练才能变得善良 that I needed training wheels for this stuff.
所以你得被抹除 So you gotta get trashed.
做你老师是我的荣幸 Well, it was a pleasure teaching you.
我其实也从你身上学到了点东西 You know, I actually learned something from you, too.
-是吗 学到了什么 -怎么做无赖 - Oh, yeah, what was that? - How to be a dick!
去死吧 Eat my finger!
我的天 什么鬼 Oh, my God! What the heck?
杰茜终于要得到她应得的哥哥了 Jesse's finally getting the brother she deserves.
好了 好了 好了 All right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right.
够了 我们吹了 合作结束 Enough, we're done. The partnership is over.
-同意 -等我们回到我们的时间 - Agreed. - When we get back to our time,
我就收拾行李搬去圣迭戈 I'm packing up and moving to San Diego.
我要在瓦斯灯街区租间公寓 每天吃鱼卷 I'll rent a condo in the Gaslamp and eat fish tacos every day
-再也不想你 -越早越好 - and never think of you. - The sooner the better.
你和我在一起从没做过什么好事 You and I have never done anything good together.
瞧瞧那些复制人多可爱 Oh, wow, look how cute the replicants are.
是啊 我们都很可爱 Oh, they really are. We're all cute.
看看我们 两个普通外星人和他们的复制人 Would you look at us? Two regular aliens with their replicants
想着他们要去太空 thinking that they're gonna go out into space
把离群的月亮地球化 and terraform a rogue moon or something.
我们完全不知道我们将会面临什么 We had no idea what we were in for.
特里 You know, Terry,
我们在地球上假装是一家人 we spent so much time on Earth pretending to be a family,
我都没注意到我们其实已经成了一家人 I didn't even notice when we actually became one.
我想我们看《碟中谍4》的时候 Yeah, I think we sealed the deal on that
基本就已经确定了 when we all saw Mission Impossible Ghost Protocol.
你还记得吗 汤姆·克鲁斯 TC You remember? Tom Cruise? TC?
特里 我想你是对的 Terry, I think you're right.
我们都很喜欢那部电影 一起 We all really liked that movie. Together.
记得我们制造了一个真的芬巴奇 Hey, remember when we made a real Funbucket
它发疯 袭击了小镇吗 and it went crazy and attacked the town?
嗯嗯 超棒 Oh, yeah, yeah, that was awesome.
还有我们打造南银窝的时候 Hey, how about when we built the "manc ave"?
你不得不把那蠢机器人埋在后院 You had to bury the cuck robot in the backyard.
他很喜欢 He loved it.
或者记得一切都是音乐剧的那天吗 Or remember that day when everything was a musical?
嗯 还有我们和辛普森一家联合起来 Yeah, or what about when we teamed up with the Simpsons
跟《空中大灌篮》里的小怪物们比赛 for a game against the Monstars from Space Jam ?
我们或许没有选择彼此 特里 You know, we may not have chosen each other, Terry,
但我们建设了美好生活 but we've built a good life.
-我不想将它抛弃 -我也不想 科尔沃 - I don't want to throw that away. - Neither do I, Korvo.
-我去 -嘿 - Holy shit! - Hey.
你看了我发给你的我的小土墩的照片吗 Did you peep that photo of my mound I sent you?
很酷吧 Pretty tight, right?
你讨厌它 什么意思 What do you mean you hated it?
你不想看我微小无毛土墩的照片 You don't want a photo of my tiny, hairless mound?
你没看到硬皮吗 Didn't you see the crust?
是凡波 我们该怎么办 There's Vanbo! What-what-what do we do?
这是我们拨乱反正的机会 用时间杖打他 This is our chance to set things right. Hit him with the time stick!
-什么 -溯物杖 - The what now? - The Retouch-Your-Stuff-Alizer.
对哦 Oh, duh, yeah, right.
住手 Stop it!
等等 这就是你想带我去的地方 Wait, this is where you wanna take me?
你不是说冻酸奶是缉毒侦探的冰淇淋吗 I thought you said frozen yogurt was ice cream for narcs.
没错 但现在我对你好 意味着 Ooh, it is, but now I'm nice to you, which means
即使味道像尘土也要吃恶心的冰泥 eating disgusting cold slime even if it tastes like dust.
你感觉还好吗 雅姆莱克 Are you feeling okay, Yumyulack?
是的 排我前面吧 Oh, yeah, please, go ahead of me in line.
我很乐意在你品尝的时候帮你拿包 I would be happy to hold your purse while you sample some flavors.
-你要帮我拿包 -没错 - You're offering to hold my purse? - Correct.
-还让我排前面 -当然 - While I go first? - Of course.
好吧 听上去很棒 Well, okay, that sounds great.
让我找找 就在这里 Let me just, uh, here, it's in here...
天呐 你什么毛病 Oh, my God. What's wrong with you?
别担心 这不是我哥哥 Don't worry, that's not my brother.
是模拟舱把他的意识转到了 It's a Pretend-O-Deck simulation that's transferred his consciousness
3D打印的身体里 想要替代他 to a 3D printed body and is trying to take his place.
杰茜 为什么 我对你那么好 Jesse, why? I was... nice.
我要报警了 不准动 I'm calling the police. Don't move.
你把他变成了一个游戏盒子 You turned him into a Game Boy cartridge.
-忘了你所看到的 先生 -我做不到 - Just forget what you saw here, sir. - I can't!
太具体了 It's so specific!
拜托醒醒 我很抱歉我创造了趣姆莱克 Uh, please wake up. I'm so sorry I created Funyulack.
你有时虽然很渣 You can be kind of a jerk sometimes
但你是我哥哥 我爱你 but you're my brother and I love you.
嗨 杰茜 Hi, Jesse.
你想要继续我们的对话吗 Would you like to continue our discussion
关于皮塔和盖尔谁更性感 of who is hotter, Peeta or Gale?
或者我们可以玩疯狂商场 练习我们的舞步 Or we could play Mall Madness and practice our dance moves.
你不是雅姆莱克 你是趣姆莱克 You're not Yumyulack. You're Funyulack!
谢谢你甜蜜的吻 Thank you for those sweet, sweet kisses.
冻结程序 冻结程序 天 不要 我杀了雅姆莱克 Freeze program, freeze program. Oh, God, no, I killed Yumyulack.
我杀了雅姆莱克 把他变成了游戏盒子 I killed Yumyulack and turned his body into a Game Boy cartridge!
就像幸运饼预测的那样 Just like that fortune cookie said I would!
现在谁是蓝色史莱克啊 贱人 Who's a blue Shrek now, bitch?
我们得除掉他的尸体 We gotta get rid of this body, man.
你有能把他变成游戏盒子的东西吗 Do you have the thing that turns them into Game Boy cartridges?
没有 我每次需要的时候就没带 Ah, no, I never bring it when I end up needing it.
记得 特里 我们是英雄 Remember, Terry, we're heroes.
-我们做到了 凡波不在了 -我们修好了时间线 - We did it, Vanbo's gone. - We repaired the time stream.
耶 Hey, yeah!
非常好 This is very good.
我们似乎微微地改变了时间线 It appears we may have slightly altered the time stream.
还不算太糟 Um, well, it's not so bad.
只要凡波不在 我就能忍 I mean, I can live with this as long as Vanbo's not around.
你们好啊 奸鸡者 Hello, futtbuckers.
凡波 你怎么在这 Vanbo? What are you doing here?
你应该死透了的 Your ass should be dead as hell!
应该死透 但我被一个特别之人 Should be dead as hell. But I was rescued
拯救并恢复了健康 and nursed back to health by a very special person.
特里 Hey, Terry.
特瑞 你特么怎么在这儿 Teri with an "I"? What the heck are you doing here?
我现在是凡波的科学合作伙伴 I'm Vanbo's science partner now.
而且我已经不叫特瑞了 And my name's not Teri with an "I" anymore.
我叫凡碧 也带有"王"字 Mm-mm, it's Vanbi, also spelled with an "I."
操 真酷 Fuck, that's so cool.
我们为了找你们俩搜遍了整个银河系 We've been searching the galaxy for you two.
我知道你们用时间杖在什洛普星上攻击了我 I know you guys attacked me with your time stick on Shlorp.
我们 我们不知道你在说什么 We, uh, we-we don't know what you're talking about.
我有重要消息告诉你们 I have some important news to tell you.
什洛普从来没爆炸 Shlorp never blew up!
什么 What?
我是来带你们回去的 好让你们接受审判 And I've come to take both of you back so you can be tried
然后因为在没有执照的情况下使用溯物杖 and executed for using a Retouch-Your-Stuff-Alizer
而被处决 without a license!
-什么 -特里 科尔沃 - What? - Terry, Korvo.
我杀了雅姆莱克 把他的身体变成了游戏盒子 I killed Yumyulack and turned his body into a Game Boy cartridge.
-他永远地走了 -什么 - He's gone forever. - What?
还有件事 在我们都离开后 Oh, and one more thing. After we all leave,
我要炸了这个傻逼地球 I'm gonna blow up this stupid fucking Earth planet
因为这是凡波的作风 just because that's how Vanbo do.
这不可能是真的 This can't be happening!
为什么 为什么会这样 Why, why is this happening.
等等 她说得对 Wait! She's right.
-这不可能是真的 -可是是真的 - This can't be happening. - But it is.
难道你不觉得有太多疯狂事件同时发生吗 Doesn't it seem like too many big crazy events all at once?
生活不是那样的 I mean, that-that's not how life works, man.
不不不 这感觉不真实 No, no, no. This doesn't feel real.
这家伙疯了 大家集合 Ooh, this guy's lost it. Everybody gather around.
-我们来欣赏他屁滚尿流 -你还不明白吗 - Let's watch him shit his pants. - Don't you see?
时间旅行 死亡雅姆莱克 什洛普星没有爆炸 The time travelling, dead Yumyulack, Shlorp didn't explode.
拜托 这太多事了 I mean, come on. That's like-- it's so much stuff.
好好想想 这实在太多了 Think about it. That's, like, way too much.
如果你有份清单的话 这太多了 If you had a list, it's too much!
-确实有点不自然 -对吧 - It is sort of contrived. - Right?
我们要怎么确定我们不在《黑客帝国》里 I mean, how are we sure that we're not in a The Matrix?
或者《黑客帝国2：重装上阵》里 or a Matrix Reloaded?
因为如果在的话 就会有绿色数字漂浮在空中 Because there would be green numbers floating around
-以及皮制墨镜 -肯定有原因 - and leather sunglasses. - Well, it's gotta be something.
我能搞清楚 Okay, and I can figure this out.
我们可能处于的情况《感官游戏》 I mean, we could be in an eXistenZ-type sitch.
够了 上周你就认为我们是处于《感官游戏》的情况 Stop it! Last week, you thought we were in an eXistenZ
因为汽车餐厅多给了我们一份薯条 because the drive-thru gave us an extra order of fries.
不可能你每次惊慌失措我们就是在《感官游戏》里 We can't be in an eXistenZ every time you're freaking out.
是吗 你懂完了 你是说 Oh, really, smart guy? You're telling me
我们有可以随时使用的时间旅行鞋子 we have time travelling shoes that we can use whenever we want?
你总是想了解噗噗 You're always wanting to know stuff about the Pupa.
你为什么没用那些鞋呢 Why haven't you been using those shoes, man?
你为什么没用那些鞋 Why haven't you been using the shoes?
肯定有合理的解释 I-I-I'm sure there's a logical explanation for that.
并没有 好吗 闭嘴 No, there isn't, okay? Shut the fuck up.
我们肯定是在一个操蛋的 We've gotta be in some fucked up
《末世纪暴潮》《变形博士》《割草者》 Strange Days Altered States Lawnmower Man
《霍顿与无名氏》情境里 Horton Hears a Who thing.
-也许我们在《电子世界争霸战》里 -别怂恿他 - Maybe we're in a Tron. - Don't egg him on.
-这不是《电子世界争霸战》 -也许我们是在梦里 - This isn't a Tron. - Ooh, maybe we're in a dream.
你终于醒悟了 Now you're talking.
我敢打赌我们都在某个疯狂的《魔域煞星》风的 I mean, I-I-I-I bet we're all in some kind of crazy Dreamscape style
《盗梦空间》《美梦成真》 Inception What Dreams May Come
《约瑟夫的神奇彩衣》的梦里 Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat dream.
不可能 没人能把科尔沃困在梦里 That's impossible. Nobody traps Korvo in a dream.
我们在谁的梦里 醒醒 醒醒 Whose dream are we in, huh? Wake up, wake up.
住手 停下 Stop that, cut it out!
-你必须醒来 -别碰我 凡波 - You have to wake up. - Don't touch me, Vanbo.
-住手 -醒醒 - Stop it. - Wake up.
醒醒 科尔沃 快 你能做到 Wake up, Korvo, come on. You can do it.
别说了 科尔沃 醒醒 Stop sleeping, Korvo. Wake up!
-该死 醒醒 -我在尽力 - Damn it, wake up. - I'm trying.
-我在尽力了 -醒醒 - I'm trying! - Wake up!
你们进入模拟舱多久了 Oh, uh, how long have you guys been on the Pretend-O-Deck?
我就知道 刚才那些事都没有发生 Ha, I knew it. None of that stuff happened.
什么鬼 噗噗怎么老是能拿到那个哈利波特笛子 What the? How does the Pupa keep getting that Harry Potter whistle?
-我们不是把它锁起来了吗 -它怎么老是能拿到 - I thought we locked it up. - How does he keep getting that thing?
-别看着我 -显然是你给它的 - Don't everybody look at me. - You obviously gave it to him.
-我没有 -该死 特里 - I did not. - Damn it, Terry.
你得停止发出关于噗噗的假警报了 You've gotta stop raising false alarms about the Pupa.
你让我冒疙瘩小人 我在冒疙瘩小人 You're making me gooble. I'm-I'm gooblering.
好吧 Uh, okay, all right.
-怪了 它从没这样过 -噗噗 停下 - Weird, he's never done that before. - Pupa, stop that.
你觉得我们该告诉特里和科尔沃吗 Do you think we should tell Terry and Korvo?
不 他们已经心烦意乱了 No, they're already all wound up.
但万一它进化 把我们都杀了呢 But what if he evolves and kills all of us?
做梦吧 不可能的事 Yeah, right. Like that'll ever happen.
下季见 各位 See you next season, everyone.
♪ 特里 ♪ ♪ Terry! ♪
Hulu Hulu Hu lu Hulu. Hulu. Hu-lu.