♪ It seems today that all you see ♪
♪ Is violence in movies and sex on TV ♪
♪ But where are those good old-fashioned values ♪
♪ On which we used to rely? ♪
♪ Lucky there's a family guy ♪
♪ Lucky there's a man who positively can do ♪
♪ All the things that make us ♪
♪ Laugh and cry ♪
♪ He's... a... Fam... ily... Guy! ♪
Family Guy 8x19 The Splendid Source Original Air Date on May 16, 2010
-- Sync, corrected by elderman -- -- for www.addic7ed.com --
Hi. This is Peter. 嗨，我是peter
Don't get scared that you can hear my voice 不要因为看不到我而害怕
but you can't see me.
This is the story of a great adventure 接下来我要讲一个伟大的历险故事
that happened to me and some of my pals. 关于我和几个朋友
It all began innocently enough, 这故事有一个毫无征兆的开头
with my stupid wife showing me some dumb-ass brochure. 当时我那傻X老婆正给我看一个傻X手册
So, here's where we'll all be staying this weekend. 那么，这就是我们周末要去的地方
You and I will have one cabin, 我们俩住一间小木屋
and Bonnie and Joe and Quagmire BONNIE JOE和Quagmire
will have the other two. 住另外两间
Ah, this is going to be so much fun! 啊，一定会非常有意思！
Hi, Chris. How was school? 嗨，CHRIS，今天咋样？
Not good. 不咋样
I got suspended for saying bad words. 我因为说脏话被停学了
Oh, for God's sake! OH！天哪！
My principal wants to meet with you guys. 校长想见你们
Should we go? 我们去不去？
It sounds like a trap. 听起来像个陷阱
Yes, Peter, we should go. 我们要去,peter
All right, but if it's a trap and we don't come back, 好吧，如果我们被这个陷阱困住了
I get to make smart-alecky remarks 还得靠我想办法
when we're tied up back-to-back, like last time. 就像上次我们被背靠背绑住一样
Any more bright ideas, Professor? 有啥好办法吗，专家？
Mr. and Mrs. Griffin, the reason Chris was suspended Griffin先生和Griffin太太，您儿子被停学是因为
is that he told a very inappropriate joke in class. 他在班上讲了一个很不适当的笑话
Well, Principal Shepherd, 好吧，校长先生
we promise you it won't happen again. 我们保证这样的事再不会发生了
I don't know where Chris heard the joke, 我不知道Chris在哪听来那笑话
but I can assure you it wasn't at home. 但我敢保证肯定不是在家里
Was it, Chris? Chris,不是在家吧？
No. Mr. Quagmire told it to me. 不是.Quagmire讲给我的.
I should have figured. 我早该知道
Was it the one where the blind man 是不是一个盲人走过鱼市,
walks by the fish market and says, "Good morning, ladies"? 然后说"早安女士们"?
I told you that one! 哈哈.那是我讲给你的!
You told me that one. 是你讲给我的
I sure did. 确实是我.
We enjoy each other's company. 我们合作愉快!
Hey, Quagmire. 嘿,Quagmire!
You know, you got Chris suspended from school 你的黄色笑话把chris搞停学了.
for telling one of your dirty jokes.
Oh, gosh, Peter, I'm sorry. 不会吧,真不好意思
You want me to talk to him? 想让我和他谈谈吗?
Well, no, actually, I... 不..实际上..我..
I want you to tell me the joke. 我想让你把那笑话讲给我听.
Yeah, tell us the joke. 没错,给我们讲那笑话.
You want to hear it? All right. 你们真想听?好吧.
So, this chick meets a guy at a bar, and... 说一小妞在酒吧碰到一帅哥,然后...
P.S. Your vagina's in the sink. p.s. 你的逼在水池里.
Oh, God, I pooped my pants. 噢不好，我拉裤子里了.
It's funny when it happens to other people. 看别人拉裤子太有意思了!
Yuck. That's the end of those underwears. 唉,一条内裤就这么毁了
I didn't know what to do, so I took them off 我不知道咋办只好把内裤甩到墙上,
and hummed them at the wall, and they started sliding down 然后它顺着墙就滑下来了.
like one of them sticky octopuses. 就像一条粘乎乎的章鱼.
Well, it's a pretty funny joke, 刚才那笑话真是不错
you know, when you think about it. 想想都能笑出来
"Your vagina's in the sink." "你的逼在水池里"!
Damn it! 操!
Wow. He poops every time he hears that joke. 哇,一听那笑话他就拉裤子
Yeah. 是啊
He does, doesn't he? 确实
Get out of here, Quagmire! 滚开!QUAGMIRE
I just put on clean pants! 我刚换上干净裤子!
Who's texting me? 谁给我发短信?
Damn it! 哈哈哈....操!
Stop it, you guys! 消停下吧兄弟们!
You're ruining all my clothes! 你们把我所有衣服都毁了!
Okay, Quagmire, he's asleep. 他睡了..
Peter! 皮特!
You just pooped all over the bed! 你拉了一床!
When you poop in your dreams, you poop for real. 当你梦里大便时,你现实中也会大.
Hello, fellas. 好啊伙计们
Hey, Pete... Hey, those are my pants. 嘿,皮..嗨,那是我的裤子!
That's right. Thought I'd come by 没错
and see if you have any jokes to tell. 过来看看你们有没有笑话讲
I enjoy a joke. 我很喜欢一个笑话.
I don't know. 我不确定
I want to tell the joke, but I like those pants. 我喜欢讲笑话但更喜欢我的裤子
I'll tell the joke. 那我来讲
Go ahead, Joe. I'm all anus. 继续JOE,我的肛门在等待
Joe, don't you dare. JOE!你敢!
I'll push you straight into traffic. 我把你扔大街上去!
Peter, you win. PETER,你赢了!
All right, I won't tell the joke anymore. 好吧,我再不讲那笑话了.
You know, I-I got to admit, Quagmire, 不得不承认,
despite all the problems, 除了拉裤子的问题
that joke is freaking hilarious. 那笑话真TM有意思
Where'd you hear it? Bruce told it to me. 你打哪听来的? BRUCE讲的.
No way Bruce came up with that. 不会吧
Where'd he hear it? 那他是打哪听来的?
I don't know- probably just around. 不知道,可能附近什么人吧.
I mean, where does any dirty joke come from? 我说那么多黄色笑话都是从哪来的?
Hey, you know, Joe is right. JOE说到点子上了
There's a million of them. 有成千上万的黄色笑话
They got to be coming from somewhere. 它们肯定有个出处
I mean, somebody's got to be making these things up. 肯定有人在创作它们.
Well, who? i don't know. 谁?
But haven't you ever wanted to find out? 我不知道,可你们想不想找出来?
Well, yeah, but how would anyone do that? 好啊,可是怎么找?
A quest, Joe. 这是个任务JOE
We go on a quest to find the source 我们的使命就是找出世界上所有黄段子的来源
of the world's dirty jokes.
Who's with me? 谁愿意一块去?
Well, I'm with you. 我去
Oh, what the hell? So am I. 管他妈的,我也去.
And so began our journey 就这样我们开始了
to find the splendid source 寻找黄段子来源的旅程
of off-color humor as we know it.
Our first stop was to see Bruce. 第一站是去找BRUCE
Oh, hey. 嘿！
What size shoes is y'alls? 你们穿多大号的鞋？
Actually, we're not here to bowl. 我们不是来打球的
We were wondering where you heard 我们想知道
that dirty joke you told Quagmire. 你讲给QUAGMIRE的黄段子是从哪听来的？
Oh, that one? Oh, no. 噢，不
I'm not going to tell y'all that one here at the workplace. 我不会在工作场所讲那笑话
Too dirty. 太黄了
Maybe after quitting time, 也许下班之后
I'll have a mimosa and tell y'all then. 我会边喝mimosa边讲给你们
Look, you blade, just tell us who you heard it from. 就告诉我们从哪听来的就行
It turned out the joke already had quite a history. 那笑话似乎挺有来头
Bruce had heard it from Consuela. BRUCE从CONSUALA那听来
Consuela heard it from Mayor West. CONSUELA从WEST镇长那听来
West heard it from Dr. Hartman. WEST从HARTMAN医生那听来
Hartman heard it from Angela, HARTMAN从ANGELA那听来
Angela from Opie, Opie from Herbert. ANGELA从OPIE,OPIE从HERBERT
Herbert heard it from Tom Tucker. HERBERT从TOM TUCKER那听来
Tucker heard it from Bender on Futurama, TUCKER从<飞出个未来>里的BENDER那听来
oddly enough, for some reason. 真够古怪的..因为某种原因
Bender heard it from Al Harrington, BENDER从AL HARRINGTON那听来
Harrington from REO Speedwagon. HARRINGTON从RRE SPEEDWAGON那听来
♪ Heard it from a friend who ♪
♪ Heard it from another... ♪
REO Speedwagon saved us several stops, REO SPEEDWAGON这个环节有点麻烦
as they, too, had backtracked the joke to some extent. 他们像别人一样回忆笑话的源头，
But when their trail had led 可是当回忆到维吉尼亚州的一个酒吧招待的时候，
to a bartender in Virginia, they had given up, 他们放弃了
much the way the world had given up on them.
In fact, just to kick them a couple extra bucks,
here's five seconds of "Time for Me to Fly." 5秒时间请欣赏"time for me to fly"
No, don't! 不!不要!
All the money goes to my bitch ex-wife! 钱都给我那婊子前妻了!
Can you play our song? 能放我们的歌吗?
Okay, lead singer from Asia. 好的.Asia乐队的主唱!
♪ Now, sure as the sun will cross the sky ♪
♪ This lie is over... ♪
We can't go to Virginia, Peter. 我们不能去维吉尼亚PETER
Bonnie and Lois planned that couples weekend to Maine. 女人们都计划好了周末去缅因
We're supposed to leave in the morning. 我们应该早上就出发的
Yeah, Peter, we've looked long enough. 是啊,PETER,我们找了很久了,
Maybe the joke doesn't have a source. 也许这笑话根本就没有出处
Don't be stupid. Somebody had to have made it up. 别傻了,肯定有人创作了它
And we're going to find out who. 我们要找出这人是谁
Besides, this will be way more fun 而且这比坐在营火边,
than hanging out in Maine with the wives, 听老婆唠叨有趣多了.
sitting around a campfire,
listening to Lois tell grocery stories.
"Oh, Peter, you should have been there. "OH皮特,你真该去的"
"Uncle Ben's converted brown rice was on sale. " "UNCLE BEN的大米正在打折"
They marked it down from $12 to... to three..." "从12降到3块了"
Whatever-- I don't know how much rice is, 算了..我不了解大米的价格
but you know what I'm saying. 你们知道我的意思
Okay, Peter, I've got the directions. 我知道怎么走了
Head north on the turnpike. 从收费站往北直走
That's going to be the quickest route to Maine. 这是去缅因州最近的路
Sure, Lois. 当然.LOIS
Say, ladies, I was wondering if you could tell me-- 女士们,我想知道...
what was childbirth like? 生孩子是啥感觉?
Oh, Glenn, you have no idea. 你不知道
It's something no man could understand. 男人永远不会了解
Think of the most intense pain you've ever felt, 想象一下你感觉过的最剧烈的疼痛
and imagine feeling that for hours. 并把这种感觉延长到几个小时
Well, and then, by the eighth month, 在第8个月的时候
I had hemorrhoids that hung like bunches of grapes. 我得了痔疮,看起来就像一嘟噜葡萄
And then, they said I was four centimeters dilated. 然后,他们说我扩张了四厘米了
They didn't think I was far enough, but I was like, 他们不认为时候到了
"I can tell you I'm far enough. " 但我可以告诉你,当时已经是时候了.
And that's when Chris was born. 那就是CHRIS出生的时候.
Gosh, that's all so fascinating. 天啊,好伟大.
Let me ask you something else. 我想再问点别的
Have you girls ever worked in an office with other women 你们曾经和讨厌的女人在一个办公室工作过吗?
who you have negative things to say about?
Oh, God, yes. Oh, my God. 天啊,当然有,天啊.
Quagmire, shut up. We're here. 闭嘴吧QUAGMIRE,我们到了.
You drove us to Virginia?! 你们我们拉到了维吉尼亚?
All right, look, we're sorry we deceived you girls, 好吧很抱歉骗了你们,
but this is important. 但我们有很重要的事
The trail leads to a bartender who works here. 线索指向这里的一个酒吧招待
He could be the source of the dirty joke. 他可能是那黄段子的源头
Hi, there. What can I do for you gentlemen? 好啊,想要点什么?
We've traveled a very long way 我们走了很长的路
to find out where you heard this joke. 就想知道这笑话你是从哪听到的?
Oh...
I remember that. 我想起来了
I heard it from that guy. 那家伙讲给我的
Cleveland?! 克里夫兰?!
Hey, fellas. 嘿!伙计们
Holy crap! 我的神啊!
Who knew we'd run into you here? 除了所有人
Except everyone, if Fox ruined it in the promos. 我们都知道我们会碰到你
What a surprise this is. 好大一个惊喜!
Donna, it's so nice of you to invite us to stay here. 唐娜,谢谢你请我们吃饭
Oh, Lois, it's my pleasure. 这是我的荣幸!
I don't think we've seen you folks since the wedding. 自从结婚之后就再没见过你们
Still waiting on that gift. 我还牵挂着那件礼物呢
The gift was the show. 礼物是那场表演
Uh, she doesn't know what she's talking about. 呃,她不知道她在说啥
It's great to have you-all down here. 你们在这太好了.
Hey, you know, Cleveland, you better hide 克利夫兰,我觉得你应该把彩笔藏起来
the markers from your kids. 别让小孩找到
Somebody colored in your Jesus. 有人给耶稣上了色..
Somebody colored in your ass with too much ass, fat-ass. 有人用很多屁股给你的屁股上了色,死胖子!
All right, Cleveland, let's get down to business. 好吧,我们办正事吧.
Who told you the joke? 谁给你讲的那笑话?
A bellhop at the Royale Hotel in Washington, DC. 华盛顿皇家酒店的一个服务员
I met him when I took Cleveland Jr. there 我带儿子去看林肯纪念堂的时候遇到他的
to see the Lincoln Memorial.
But then Daddy got frustrated 'cause he couldn't find it, 可是老爸又放弃了,因为他是个路痴
so we just ate fast food in the parking lot. 我们在停车场吃了点快餐就回来了.
I'm just saying, maybe put up a damn sign. 我正要说呢,他们应该弄个显眼的标志
Anyway, the bellhop's name is Sal Russo. 总之那服务员名叫SAL RUSSO
He knows every dirty joke ever written. 他简直是个黄段子大全
Then that's the guy we got to talk to. 找的就是他
Everyone, don't get too used to being around black people, 好吧,大家收拾收拾
'cause we are going to Washington, DC. 我们要去华盛顿
Now, wait a minute, Peter. 等一下PETER
Donna's been nice enough to invite us to stay the weekend, 唐娜好心邀请我们在这度周末了,
and frankly, that sounds better 坦白说这比你们那追踪行动强多了.
than continuing this wild-goose chase.
Well, Lois, if you and Bonnie want to stay here, 好吧,如果你和BONNIE愿意留在这
maybe Cleveland could join us. CLEVELAND就能加入我们了
Yeah, it'd be just like old times. 好啊,就像从前那样
What do you say, Cleveland? 你说呢CLEVELAND?
Oh, I don't know. 我不知道...
I've kind of got my own life now. 我刚开始有自己的生活..
All right, well, if you have a sudden change of heart 好吧,我们开车的时候如果你改变主意了
and you want to chase us down the street 你知道怎么找到我们
as we're pulling away, you know where to find us.
Okay, guys, I got one. 我想到个笑话
Would you rather get a massage from a man 你更愿意被一男人按摩
or surgery from a female doctor? 还是被女医生动手术?
Wow.
Like, minor surgery? 小手术?
No, serious surgery. 不,大的
Like a blown kidney or something. 肾移植之类
Geez. 天哪
Good question, Peter. 好问题PETER
Is the man gay? No. 那男的是GAY吗?不
Is the female doctor at least Jewish or Asian? 那女医生至少是犹太人或亚洲人吧?
No, but, actually, you know what? 不,实际上,你猜我要干嘛?
I'm going to take it up a notch. 我想再提升一个等级,
Hispanic female doctor or gay male masseuse? 西班牙裔女医生或男同性恋按摩师？
Hispanic from Spain? 是西班牙人吗？
No. 不是
Ah. Ah. Ah. 啊啊啊
So, it's basically- would you rather 基本上问题就是
get a massage from a gay man or die? 被男同志按摩或者死？
All right, I got another one. 好吧，我又想到一个.
Let Amy Winehouse spit in your mouth 让AMY WINEHOUSE在你嘴里吐痰
or eat a raw slice of Anderson Cooper's ass? 还是生吃ANDERSON COOPER的屁股?
Sign me up for Cooper. 我选COOPER
What the hell? 什么情况?
What the hell was that about? 那伙怎么回事?
Who were those guys? 他们是谁?
I don't know, but I'll tell you this-- 我不知道但要告诉你..
I saw one of them back in the bar in Stoolbend. 之前在酒吧我就见过他们中的一个
You think they wereollowing us? 他们在跟踪我们?
Either that or they got a grudge against our back windshield. 要么就是他们很恨我们的后车窗.
Ah, Joe, that's so dumb. 那太傻了.
Why would anybody be trying to kill us? 为什么会有人想杀我们?
It might be safe to assume that someone does not want us 可能有人不想我们找出笑话的出处
to learn the origin of that joke.
We had no idea how right Cleveland was. 见识到之后的事情之后,
And if we had known what lay ahead, 我们才知道CLEVELAND的话有多正确.
we would've stopped right there 我们应该就此停手,
and gone straight back to Quahog. 并返回QUAHOG的.
But we didn't know. 但是我们不知道
We didn't know. 我们不知道
There it is-- Washington, DC, 我们到了--华盛顿
the seat of government 曾经最强大的国家的政府所在地
for the world's former most powerful nation.
Wow, those are all the monuments I read about in school. 哇哦,我上学的时候学过那些纪念碑
There's the Washington Monument. 那是华盛顿纪念碑
There's the Obama Monument. 那是奥巴马纪念碑
And there's the Vietnam War Memorial. 那是越战纪念墙
Yeah, check out that Vietnamese guy giving the business 看那个越南仔在调戏老兵
to those Vietnam Vets.
Scoreboard! Scoreboard! 记分板!记分板!
Aw, what happened to your friend?! 啊哦,你们朋友的名字咋在这上头?
Hey, I know that guy! 嘿,我认识这家伙!
I kill him! 我杀的他!
He cry like a bitch! 他哭的像个女人!
Vietnam, undefeated! 越南万岁!
All right, this is the hotel 这就是那服务员所在的酒店.
where the bellhop works.
Hey, there he is. Sal! 嘿,他在那!SAL!
Well, hey, Cleveland! 嘿CLEVELAND!
What are you doin' here? 你在这干嘛呢?
I was wondering
if my friends and I could ask you a few questions. 我朋友想问你几个问题
Yeah, where'd you hear that dirty joke you told Cleveland? 讲给CLEVELAND的那黄段子你是从哪听到的?
That's none of your business! 不关你事!
Leave me alone! 少来烦我!
Don't let him get away! 别让他跑了!
Hop on! 上车!
Where did he go?! 跑哪去了?
I think he went that way, past the Reflecting Pool! 应该穿过倒影之池去那边了!
Damn! He's nowhere in sight. 操,跟丢了!
I'll ask these fellas. Maybe they've seen him. 问问这些家伙,可能他们见过他.
Excuse me, have you seen...? 打扰一下,你有没有...?
H-H-Hold on a second. I'm trying... 等一下,我正在..
Hold on a sec. Hey, pal, stop talking 等一下,嘿哥们,
while I'm talking, all right? 我说话的时候你先闭嘴OK?
You want a sandwich full'a knuckles? Do ya? 你想要个拳头三明治吗?
All right, that's it. 好吧,我受够了
Cleveland, you take Cleveland. 一人一个,咱们单挑
Joe, you take Joe.
Quagmire, you take Quagmire
and I'll get Fatty McLoudmouth.
It's no use, Peter. 没用的PETER
We've lost him. 我们找不到他了
Our journey had abruptly ended, 我们的旅程突然结束
and the trail had gone cold. 线索也中断了
Well, I guess 我猜
we're never gonna find the source of that joke. 我们永远也找不到那段子的出处了
I guess there's nothing to do now 那我们回家吧
but head back home.
Stop right where you are! 站住!
Down on the ground! 趴下!
We were all terrified that this would prove 当时我们很害怕,
to be an unexpected end to our journey. 旅程以一种不被希望的方式结束
But little did we know, our journey was far from over. 我们不知道的是,其实它远未结束
Aah! Aah!
Ooh! Oh!
All right, did you get the parking validated? 你有停车许可吗?
Ugh! No. 没
That was the whole reason we walked 那就是为啥
through Crate & Barrel. 我们步行穿过CRATE&BARREL
We'd been captured, tied up and kidnapped. 我们被绑架了
And as if that weren't bad enough, 这还不是最糟的,
we found ourselves on a plane, 更糟的是我们在一架
headed to an unknown destination. 前往未知终点的飞机上
Where the hell are they takin' us? 他们带我们去哪?
I don't know, but I got a bad feeling. 不知道,不过我有不好的预感
Every plane. 每架飞机,
Every plane there's gotta be a crying baby 每架飞机上都有一个哭个不停,
and a mother ignoring it. 且被母亲无视的宝宝.
Yes, he's crying. Babies cry. 是的,他在哭,宝宝在哭
After flying for what seemed like hours, 飞了大概几个小时之后
we found ourselves approaching a strange island 我们到了地平线尽头一个奇怪的小岛
on the horizon.
What the hell is this place? 这是什么鬼地方?
It is that which you have been seeking, gentlemen. 这就是你们一直在找的,先生们
Who are you? 你是谁?
I am the dean. 我是会长
The dean of what? 什么会长?
The Dean of the Secret Order of Dirty Joke Writers. 黄段子创作人地下工会会长
Wow.
So these are the people who write 所有的黄段子
all the world's dirty jokes? 都是这些人写的?
Indeed they are. 确实如此
Hey, isn't that Stephen Hawking? 那不是史蒂芬霍金吗?
So the housewife tells the plumber, 于是主妇对水管工说
"Okay, you cleed my pipes, 你已经清完了我的管子
now get to work on that sink." 现在开始搞下水道吧
And there's Bill Gates. 那是比尔盖茨!
Is there some joke area 关于海狸吃掉啄木鸟
of a beaver eating a woodpecker? 能不能开发出什么笑点?
Is that something... ? Would that work?
Wow. These are some of the world's smartest people. 哇,这是世界上最睿智的一群
Not a lot of women. 没有几个女人
Yeah, not a lot of women. 是啊，没几个女人
What are they all doing here? 他们都在干嘛?
Well, many of the world's greatest geniuses 几个世纪以来
secretly devote themselves 世界上很多伟大的天才,
to coming up with the world's dirtiest jokes. 都秘密献身于
Oh, it's been that way for centuries. 黄段子创作的伟大事业
Great men such as Ben Franklin, 像富兰克林
Charles Dickens, Albert Einstein. 狄更斯,爱因斯坦
Shakespeare, of course. 当然还有莎士比亚
I got a spear you can shake. 我有根长枪你们可以撸它.(指莎士比亚名字shakespeare)
Ha! There you go, put that in one of your jokes. 哈!这段子免费送你
Let me show you around. 我带你们去看看
From this room, 在这间房子里
we can see the entire world's joke supply. 我们能监视全世界的笑话供应
This way we can tailor jokes to where the need is greatest. 这样就能把笑话送到最需要的地方
Sir, we have a Best Man giving a toast at a wedding, 长官!这里有个正在讲祝酒词的伴郎
and he is just bombing. 他卡壳了
Put it up on the screen. 调出图象
Jim's... Jim's so clumsy, JIM笨的好像
it's like he's got two left feet and left hands. 他有两只左手和两只左脚
Permission to go to the "bride is a whore" file, sir. 请求调用文件"新娘是个婊子"
Permission granted. 请求通过
Anyway, if Sheila was a road sign, 总之,如果SHEILA是个路标的话,
it would read "Open Trench." 路标上肯定写着"小心明沟"
Well, gentlemen, I hope you've enjoyed 先生们,
the tour of our facility. 希望你们喜欢这次参观
This was amazing! 太棒了!
Guys, we did it! 兄弟们我们成功了!
We found the source of the world's dirty jokes! 我们找到了世上所有黄段子的源头!
I can't wait to tell all the guys back at the Clam! 我要回去告诉家乡的父老乡亲们!
Oh, I'm afraid that's quite impossible. 恐怕不可能了
What do you mean? 你什么意思?
Well, you've seen our secret island. 你们看到了我们的秘密岛
You know about our network of joke distribution agents, 也认识我们的网上发贴人员
like the bellhop. 比如那个服务员
We can't allow the secret to be revealed. 秘密不能泄露出去
I'm afraid you must stay here for the rest of your lives. 恐怕你们下半辈子都在呆在这了
What are we gonna do now? 怎么办?
We gotta come up with an escape plan. 必须制定一个越狱计划
Hey, guys, I can see the plane that brought us here! 来时坐的那架飞机!
If we can figure out a way to get to it, I can fly us home! 如果能走到那,我就能把大家拉回家
I got an idea. 我有个办法
One of us should pretend we're hurt, 我们中一个假装受伤
and when the guards come in to give him medical attention, 保安就会进来处理,
we'll jump 'em! 我们趁机逃跑!
That's perfect, Joe. 好主意!
Hey, Cleveland, you got a pencil on you? 嘿CLEVELAND你有铅笔吗?
Oh, gosh, I don't know. 我不知道
Oh, wait, here you go. 等下,给!
Thanks. 多谢
Aah! What the hell?! 你他妈干嘛?!
Hey, help, help! 救命救命!
We have an emergency! 情急情况!
You dick! 你个鸡巴
What's going on in here?! 里面出啥事了?
This man has been injured! 有人受伤了!
He needs medical attention! 需要急救!
Come on. Let's get outta here! 来吧,我们走!
All right, let's hurry up and find a way out! 快点找条路出去
Well, well,
it's quite clear the four of you are going to be a problem. 很明显你们4个惹大麻烦了
Kill them. 干掉他们!
My God, I've done it! 天啊,我终于成功了!
After 80 years of work and research, 研究了80年,
I have written the greatest dirty joke 我终于写出了
in the history of mankind! 人类历史上最搞笑的黄段子!
Give me that! Not on your life! 给我! 休想!
Take one step closer and the paper gets it. 你再往前一步我就烧了它!
Drop your guns! Do as he says! 放下枪,照他说的做!
Put it out! 快灭火!
Oh, my God!
It's heading for the first dead baby joke ever written! 要烧到历史上第一个死婴笑话了!
Look what we did. 看我们都做了些什么
We destroyed a place that brought joy 我们毁掉了这个
and laughter to the entire world. 给全世界带来欢乐和笑声的地方
Is that the end of all dirty jokes? 以后再不会有黄段子了吗?
Well, maybe it is. 也许吧
But Peter's got the best one ever written right there. 但PETER拿到了史上最搞笑的段子
Read it, Peter. 读一下它PETER
"Guess what? 猜猜是啥?
Chicken butt." 鸡屁股.
That's it? That's the joke? 就这?这是笑话?
No, this is the joke! 不, 这才是笑话!
Now take me back to Virginia, 拉我回维吉尼亚
so I can put some Bacitracin on this 我好上点红药水
and pork my wife! 再干我老婆!
It was a great adventure. 这是一次伟大的冒险
And it was great having Cleveland along with us again. 最美妙的还是CLEVELAND又回来了
He hasn't changed a bit. 他一点都没变
Didn't grab one check.
Anyway, that's our story 总之,这就是我们的故事
about the splendid source of all dirty jokes. 关于黄段子源头的故事
For those of you who stuck around till the end, 对于坚持看完的观众,
you deserve a reward. 我要给你们一个奖励
So here's some footage of an ape scratching himself. 请欣赏猩猩挠痒的片段
See, the March of Dimes wanted this air time 儿童基金会想利用这点空白时间
to talk about cancer kids or somethin', 谈谈癌症患儿之类
but I was like, "No way! Monkey scratch!" 我说"去死吧,不如看猩猩挠痒"!
-- Sync, corrected by elderman -- -- for www.addic7ed.com --