♪ It seems today that all you see ♪
♪ Is violence in movies and sex on TV ♪
♪ But where are those good old-fashioned values ♪
♪ On which we used to rely?
♪ Lucky there's a family guy
♪ Lucky there's a man who positively can do ♪
♪ All the things that make us
♪ Laugh and cry
♪ He's... a... Fam... ily... Guy! ♪
♪ Family Guy 12x12 ♪ Mom's the Word Original Air Date on March 9, 2014
== sync, corrected by elderman == @elder_man
Peter 干什么呢 Peter, what are you doing?
看这个碉堡的剧 Brian I'm watching this awesome show, Brian.
看 各种颜色 一起住在 See, they took all these colors and they're making 'em
一个沙滩房里 all live together in a beach house.
现在 红色在和绿色睡 Now the red one is sleeping with the green one.
蓝色觉得他应该搞音乐 And the blue one thinks he's gonna have a career in music.
黄色就是个大碧池 And the yellow one is just a total bitch.
Peter 这只是个不播送节目的台 Peter, that's just a channel that's gone off the air.
我们马上回来 And we'll be right back with
更多色彩沙滩房内容稍后播出 more Color Bar Beach House after these messages.
哦 Oh.
Peter 看在上帝的份上 Peter, for God's sake,
你是不是吃了一整卷生面团 did you eat this entire roll of raw cookie dough?
哦 就是这事? Oh, is that what that was?
我以为是葡萄干香肠 I thought it was a raisin sausage.
Peter 你会生病的 Peter, you're gonna get sick.
你不能吃冰箱里的生食 You can't just eat raw food out of the fridge.
呃 冷静 是人都会犯错 Eh, calm down,people make mistakes.
看看第一辆混合动力车的初始设计 Just look at the original design for the first hybrid car.
Eric 我们很喜爱这车 Eric, we love the car.
车身单词:强奸犯
只想做一个小改动 We only want to change one thing.
是那个"强奸犯"标志么 Is it the "rapist" sign?
是 是"强奸犯标志" Yes, it is the "rapist" sign.
我不干了 I quit.
如图可见 我们季度产量 So, as you can see,our quarterly output is up
提高了1.5% one and a half percent.
不是净产量 我是说总额(恶心) That's not net,I'm talking gross.
你做事一直很恶心 You do everything gross.
Peter 别的所有人
无聊的破会 我不想待在这 Stupid boring meeting.I don't even want to be here.
我更想在家 玩华丽车库出场 I'd rather be home, doing dramatic garage door reveals.
Alice Cooper的No More Mr.Nice Guy
♪
我们达到了所有的预期... And that gets us through all projections...
(肚子响)
什么声音 What was that?
(肚子响)
啊 感觉不对劲 Ah, that doesn't feel right.
啊 天 估计那个生面团和我在停车场捡的 Ah, man, I think that cookiedough is fighting that taco
卷饼在打架 I found in the parking lot.
希望在会议结束前能hold住 I just hope I can hold it in until the meeting's over.
现在 为今年23个淹死在桶里 And now, 23 minutes of silence for the 23 workers
的工人默哀23分钟 who drowned in the vats this year.
哦 上帝 太难受了 Oh, God, it hurts.
太难受了 It hurts.
当然难受 Griffin Of course it hurts, Griffin.
他们都是好人 所有人 They were good men,all of them.
实在是忍不住了 I can't hold it in!
不需要忍 Griffin! You don't have to, Griffin!
发泄出来了吧 Let it out!
这就是默哀的原因 That's what we're here for.
应该是23分钟默哀 This was supposed to be 23 minutes of silence
你们怎么叨叨个不停啊 and there's kind of a lot of conversation going on.
嘿 Peter 我孩子卖女童子兵饼干-- Hey, Peter, my kid's selling Girl Scout cookies and--
为Janet怀孕集资-- We're collecting for Janet's pregnancy--
软球签名-- Softball sign-up--
联合国儿童基金会不给糖就捣蛋-- Trick or treat for UNICEF--
推销Ed退休蛋糕? Pitch in for Ed's retirement cake?
假期派对? Holiday party?
哇哦! Whoa...!
公司野餐-- Company picnic--
秘密圣诞老人-- Secret Santa--
拼车信息-- Carpool info--
啊 终于 我可以去-- Ah, finally, now I can get myself to the--
啊 天 所有人都要因为这个记住我了 Ah, man, now everyone's gonna remember me for this.
我想以电影成就被纪念 I wanted to be remembered for my achievement in film.
纪念
摄影师
编剧
Kathy Bates的臀部替身
Kathy Bates(1948-)美国演员
他来了 There he is.
哦哦 我懂了 Oh, oh, I see!
哦 一听说那件事你们就都来了吧! Oh, you're all here because you heard the news!
好 好吧 Well, fine.
Peter Griffin工作拉屎了 高兴了? Peter Griffin crapped himself at work. Happy?
Peter...
不 不 Lois 我我们来说说清楚 No, no, Lois,l-l-let's get it all out.
我想你们也听说有人走进我办公室 I'm sure you also heard that someone walked into my office
看到我在吸自己脚趾了 while I was sucking on my own toes.
还有我是不是每周六穿护士鞋 And do I go fast-walking in nurse's shoes
在公园疾走? every Saturday in the park?
没错 Yes, I do.
Peter我们在这不是因为这些 Peter, we're not here because of any of that.
好吧 我知道了 Okay, I know what this is about.
有人早晨看见我 Somebody saw me holding hands with a guy
在Quiznos和人握手了 at Quiznos this morning.
Quiznos美国快餐
好吧 我是否涉嫌参与俄克拉何马爆炸 All right, and was I involved in the Oklahoma City bombing?
1995.4.19 美国本土恐怖袭击
有一点 A little bit.
不Peter你没说对 No, Peter,you're not getting it.
好吧 继续深挖 Okay, we'll go deeper.
是 我被自称来自未来的猫诈骗了 Yeah, I was swindled by that cat who said he was from the future.
最后证明他是只现在的猫 Turns out he was just a present-day cat
拥有狡猾的推销技巧 with a smooth sales pitch.
爸 你不懂 Dad, you don't understand.
哦 我懂了 Oh, I understand.
我懂了 因为我在监狱窗外 I understand I've made hundreds of deadly enemies
做种族歧视嘲讽 by shouting racial taunts up at the jailhouse windows.
还有其他事 Oh, and another thing,
认为鸭子有魔力的举手 raise your hand if you think ducks are magic.
还有）（ And... up it goes...!
Peter是唯一的 Peter's the only one.
Peter 我们不是为这些来的 Peter, that's not why they're here.
还还有 没没人听说你工作拉屎的事 A-And no, none of us heard about you soiling yourself at work.
那大家为什么来? well why is everybody here?
Peter你妈妈去世了 Peter, your mother is dead.
她早上中风去世了 She had a stroke this afternoon and she died.
没人死于中风 Lois You don't die from that, Lois.
主持新年夜愉快地交谈 You just host New Year's Eve and talk funny.
Peter 是真的 Peter, it's true.
我很抱歉 I'm so sorry.
哦我的上帝 Oh, my God...
我不相信 I don't believe it.
她走了? She's gone?
好 我要在脸书上迷惑所有人 All right, well, I'm gonna go confuse everyone on Facebook
po状态"太悲伤了 可怕的一天" with a, "So sad, terrible day"status and nothing more.
(computer blips)
(organ music playing)
你母亲是个好女人 Peter Your mother was a good woman, Peter.
谢谢 Lois Thanks, Lois.
我实在 我是在无法相信她真的走了 I just, I just can't believe she's really gone.
还有我不敢相信葬礼堂有 And I can't believe this funeral home has a skylight
盯着我们的邪恶小丑天窗 with a sinister clown staring down at us.
谢谢大家能来 Thank you for coming, everyone.
我们共聚于此几年Thelma Griffin的一生 We're here to celebrate the life of Thelma Griffin.
欢迎她儿子Peter来讲话 Here to say a few words about Thelma is her son, Peter.
我妈妈一直希望能 My mother always hoped to be buried
和她的猫Mittens共葬 with her pet cat, Mittens,
所以我想谢谢圆蛤兽医协会 so I'd like to thank the Quahog Veterinary Society
让Mittens死的干净利落 for putting Mittens down so quickly.
是 就 就过来扔进去 Yeah, just-just go ahead and toss it in there.
也也许 也许就塞在脚下就行 P-Probably, probably just stuff it in by the feet.
好 现在欢迎你们提问 Okay, I will now take questions from the audience.
没?没人?不关于我妈妈的也行 No? None? They don't have to be about my mom.
有人看"大革命"想结束后 Is anyone else here watching Revolution and wanting
一起聊聊这个么? to talk about it after this?
不不不不 No! No! No! No!
人家听不到!人家听不到! I'm not caught up!I'm not caught up!
超多白袜子配裙子的贱人 Lotta white socks with dress shoes in this bitch.
天 我讨厌葬礼 God, I hate funerals.
是 太傻了 Yeah, they're stupid.
感谢上帝我不会死 Thank God I'm not going to die.
你说啥?当然你也会死 What do you mean?Of course you are.
我不会死的 Brian I'm not gonna die, Brian.
我就像Jim Belushi I'm like Jim Belushi.
James Belushi 出演According to Jim(2001-2009)出名
不过我有点担心我有趣的兄弟 I am worried about my funny brother, though.
食物大战! Food fight!
真悲剧 不过给我提了个醒 This is tragic, but will also open a door for me.
Stewie 所有人都会死 在某一刻 Stewie, everyone is gonna die, at some point.
所有人 Everyone.
比如 甚至我? So like... even me?
是的 甚至你 Yes, even you.
你某天会死的 Stewie You are going to die someday, Stewie.
哇哦 每天都能学到新知识 Wow... I guess you learn something new everyday.
就像黑眼豆豆 Like the Black Eyed Peas.
嘿 那是什么 Hey, what's that?
吉他 This is a guitar.
哇哦 Wow...
哦 Peter看 你妈妈的老相册 Oh, Peter, look,your mom's old photo albums.
哦 看看你的婴儿脚印 Oh, look at your little baby footprints.
是 我妈每年都给我印脚印 Yeah, my mom took my footprint every single year.
8岁那年我是一条龙 When I was eight,I was a dragon.
哦 你好 你一定是Cocoon Oh, hello.You must be Cocoon.
我们这没岩石给你扮强壮 不过还是欢迎 We don't have any rocks to make you stronger here, but welcome.
你一定是Peter You must be Peter.
我是Evelyn 你妈妈的朋友 I'm Evelyn, a friend of your mother's.
这是我一家 This is my family.
他们一点都不自在 They're of no comfort.
哦 我知道你在经受怎样的苦难 Oh... I know it's tough what you're going through.
就像我17年前 失去我丈夫Walter时 You're where I was 17 years ago,when I lost my husband, Walter.
他死于胰腺癌 He died of pancreatic cancer.
太悲伤了 不过我不认识他 That sounds sad,but I didn't know him.
天 我太想念我妈妈了 Man, I miss my mom so much.
我比任何人都熟悉你妈妈 Well, I knew your mother better than anyone.
我可以给你讲故事... I could tell you stories...
听起来不错 Well, that sounds nice.
Peter你们两个应该在一起多聊聊 Peter, the two of you should hang out together.
我非常乐意 I'd like that very much.
哦 4点了 我要去睡觉了 Well, it's 4:00.I'm off to bed.
哇哦 Peter看来你交了个新朋友 Wow, Peter, looks like you made a new friend.
是..也也许她能做我的新妈妈 Yeah... a-and maybe she can be my new mom,
就像Greg Evigan和Paul Reiser you know, just like Greg Evigan and Paul Reiser
都是美国1950s出生的影星
基本上算我的两个爸 were briefly my two dads.
我总忘记你们的名字 I keep forgetting your names.
能不能叫你犹太爸 你是耳环爸? Can you just be "Jew Dad"and you'll be "Earring Dad?"
Stewie 你能不能不要再辗转反侧了? Stewie, could you please stop tossing and turning?
没有我的记忆泡沫枕已经 It's hard enough to sleep in here
很难入睡了 without my memory foam pillow.
呃 别告诉我 别告诉我 Uh... don't tell me,don't tell me...
Brian!没错! Brian!Yep.
是 Yeah...
我睡不着 Brian 我害怕 I can't go to sleep,Brian-- I'm scared!
怕啥? Of what?
死亡! Of death!
好吧 你不是一个人 Well, you're not alone.
世界上有很多人无法接受死亡 The world is full of people who can't accept death.
他们都有自己关于死亡 And they've all got their own ideas
的想法 of what happens when we die.
真的?比如? Really? Like what?
告诉我 他们中有人盲目地被安慰了?（） Tell me, are any of them blindly reassuring?
听着 很晚了 Look, it's late.
我们明天一早就说这事 We'll talk about it first thing tomorrow.
天 我得说 Geez, you know, I gotta say,
看你这么纠结真的很诡异 it's weird to see you so worked up about this.
我是说 你从不惧怕任何事 I mean, you're not afraid of anything.
甚至衣柜里的怪物 Even that monster in your closet.
啊 他在出来的路上了 Ah, he's on his way out of here.
自从他违反了租约关于 Ever since he violated the section of his lease
不许转租的部分 that doesn't allow subletters.
你说什么? What are you talking about?
我这里没有别人了 I don't have anyone else in here.
告诉他们真相吧 Ethan Just tell him the truth, Ethan.
谢谢你为我做的这些 Brian Thank you for doing this, Brian.
不用谢 Stewie No problem, Stewie.
今天第一站是犹太教堂 Our first stop today is a Jewish synagogue.
哇哦 每块砖都以人名命名的 Wow, every brick in this place is named after someone.
是 他们以此纪念捐赠者 Yeah, they do that to honor their donors.
那么那面墙是这个人捐助的: So that side of the building was donated by someone named,
"滚出我们镇"? "Get Out of Our Town"?
不 我我我觉得那是出自某光头绅士 No, I-I-I think that was the work of some
的杰作 shaved-headed gentleman,
不过 不过我们是来谈犹太教义的 but, but we're here to talk about Judaism.
那么 你觉得人死了之后会去哪儿呢? So, where do they think they go when they die?
你应该去问问犹太法师 Well, you should try asking the rabbi.
不过 我还是提醒你 可能得不到答案 Although, I should warn you,you might not get an answer.
犹太人死后会去哪呢? So, where do Jewish people think they go when they die?
你觉得我们去哪? Where do you think we go?
呃 我不知道 所以才问你 Well, I don't know.That's why I'm asking you.
为什么你要问这些问题? Why do you think you're asking all these questions?
我我我就是想知道究竟发生了什么 I-I just, I just really want to know what happens.
你觉得那是上帝无休止的计划之一吗? Do you think that's part of God's infinite plan?
我觉得你们整个族群是个笑话 就是为了 I think your whole religion is a sham, just so you can get
得到多余的节假日而已 extra holidays off from work.
哦 得走了 是() Oop, gotta go.It's Buchwuch.
我说 这也太震撼了 I say, this is quite impressive.
佛教是亚洲信仰也包括 Buddhism is an Asian religion that also has
一些烦人的白人信奉 a significant following of annoying white people.
好吧 Okay.
看 这些人相信人死后 See, these guys believe that after you die,
你会轮回重生 you're reincarnated and you come back
为猪牛或者公鸡 as a pig or a cow or a rooster.
好 好 这不错 Okay, okay, that's good.
我已经知道如果我是那些动物该怎么叫了 I already know what noises to make if I'm one of those.
不过他们也不主张表达任何情绪 But they also don't believe in demonstrating emotions
所以给他们买生日礼物时 either way, so they're the worst people
他们表现最烦了 to buy birthday gifts for.
我知道你出行有些困难 I know you've been having trouble getting around,
所以我给你买了辆雷克萨斯 so I bought you a new Lexus.
还有我给你买了领带夹 And I got you this tie clip.
谢谢你们 它们对我都很重要 Thank you both.These are equal to me.
去死吧!你都没领带! Screw you!You don't even own a tie!
现在 天主教徒相信只要你死前承认耶稣 Now, the Catholics believe that as long as you accept Jesus
任何人都能上天堂 before you die, anyone can get into Heaven.
真的?任何人? Really? Anyone?
我承认耶稣是我救世主 I accept Jesus as my Lord and Savior!
太棒了! Yes!
Peter 太感谢你帮我做蛋糕了 Peter, thank you so much for your help in making this cake,
不过你不觉得站地面上 but don't you think it would be easier
要轻松些吗? if you stood on the floor?
是 但我帮我妈烘焙时 Yeah, but when I baked with my mom,
我总站在凳子上 I always stood on a chair.
还有就是叔叔Roy用拇指探我里面时 Another memory is my Uncle Roy putting his thumb in me.
啊 家庭记忆最棒了 Ah, the best memories are family memories.
哦 嘿 Evelyn 给你说个谜语 Oh, hey, Evelyn,I got a riddle for you:
奶牛读什么报纸? What newspaper do cows read?
牟约时报 The Moo York Times.
真聪明 Peter 你自己编的? That's very clever, Peter.Did you make that up?
不是 酸奶上看来的 Nah, I got it off a yogurt.
不过还是 很有趣 Still, very impressive.
上帝 我说 Evelyn God, you know, Evelyn,
你真的在这个艰难岁月帮了我很多 you've really helped me through a tough time.
自从遇到疯帽子后 I haven't been this grateful
都没这么充满感激过了 since I met the Sane Hatter.
抱歉 我如何通过镜子回去? Excuse me. How do I get back through the looking glass?
哦 向左转两次 Oh, yeah,take two lefts
通过你右手的第一个门 and it's the first door on your right.
酷 太棒了 Cool. Great.
谢谢你没给我指成绕圈走 Thanks for not giving me the runaround.
我 我问了那边那位 I-I asked that guy over there,
他只讲了一堆押韵的疯话 but he just told me a bunch of rhyming nonsense.
哦 是 他是 呃 著名的混球 Oh, yeah-- he's, like,a well-known dick.
你怎么还醒着 What are you still doing awake?
给我车里换油 Changing the oil in my car!
你见鬼得认为我在干什么? What the hell do you think I'm doing?!
抱歉 我从隔壁意大利家偷来这招的 Sorry, I stole that from the Italian family next door.
他们整晚都在这么说 They've been going at it all night.
爸 我明天午餐能拿5刀吗? Dad, can I have five dollars for lunch tomorrow?
当然 可以 先让我检查下 Yeah, sure, just let me just go check
整屋的金子珠宝 my room full of gold and jewels.
听到了吧 他每次说的第一件事都不是真的 You see, every first thing he says is not the real thing.
总之 Brian 我在试着搞明白死亡 Anyway, Brian, I'm trying to figure out death!
这不复杂 Stewie It's not that complicated, Stewie.
那么 哪个信仰才是正确的答案? Well, which of these religions has the right answer?
那那你呢 Brian? What-What about you, Brian?
你相信你死后会怎样? What do you believe happens when you die?
虚无 灯灭了 就这样 Nothing.Lights out. That's it.
一点也不令人安慰 That's not comforting at all!
我认为显然我们只是 Well, I just think it's pretty clear
一袋骨肉混合物 that we're all just bags of bones and flesh
终会消亡降解为虫子的食物 that eventually break down and decay into worm food.
我们从虚无中来 也终将走向虚无 We come from nothing,and we're gonna become nothing.
结束 晚安 Stewie The end.Night, Stewie.
灯灭了 Lights out.
你听到他说了么 Rupert Did you hear him, Rupert?
人生就是个大笑话 Life is just a big joke.
只是坐着等死 It's just sitting around waiting to die.
我不能这么活着 Well, I can't live like that.
我宁愿结束它 I'd rather just end it.
我要自我了断 I'm going to take my own life.
不过首先 我要先在屋里玩会球 But first, I'm gonna play ball in the house.
父母说的对! Parents are right!
我们继续回到ST特殊的陆生动物 We now return to S.T., the Special Terrestrial.
嘿 大家 这是Evelyn Hey, guys,this is Evelyn.
她就是那个我说过我尿过 She's the one with that bathroom carpet
她家浴室地毯的那个 I've been peeing on I told you about.
嘿 很高兴见到你 Hey, nice to meet you.
和你说 这么画你的眉毛 You know, instead of drawing on your eyebrows,
还不如直接没有眉毛 maybe just go without eyebrows.
我是Joe Swanson And I'm Joe Swanson.
我老想把你们介绍给Evelyn嘞 I've been dying to introduce you guys to Evelyn.
我们一起过了很多美好时光 We've just been having the best time together.
Evelyn 告诉他们我在电影院 Evelyn, tell them how many sodas
连了几个苏打水 两个 I combined at the movie theater.Two.
多于两个 她睡着了 It was more than that.She fell asleep.
她让我在回家的路上开了一小段车 She let me drive a little bit on the way home.
就在停车场 Just in the parking lot.
但你是个好的小导航员 But you were a good little navigator.
没错 我突然想起来 我该死地得出去 Yeah, I just remembered, I gotta get the hell out of here.
上帝说我可以在一种时候走路 Well, God said I could walk just one time.
我本想留在Susie的婚礼上 不过... I was saving it for Susie's wedding day, but...
你的朋友赶紧很好 Your friends seem lovely.
啊 他们还好 Ah, they a'ight.
Evelyn 和你度过的时光太美好了 You know, Evelyn, I am having such a good time with you.
你就想是我的地上妈妈 You're like my aboveground mom.
哦 Peter 有时候 Oh, Peter, you know, sometimes
我觉得是你妈妈撮合我们的 I think your mother brought us together.
是 这这正是我想的 Yeah, tha-that's how I feel.
好 Good.
(The Price Is Righttheme plays)
别介 你在骚扰我还是看电视? Come on. Are you molesting me or watching TV?
我不敢相信那个老女人吻了你 I can't believe that old woman kissed you!
哦 太恐怖了 Lois Oh, it was horrible, Lois.
她嘴里的角落还有中午吃的 There were still crumbs in the corners of her mouth
妮啦华夫饼渣渣 from that Nilla Wafer she had at lunch.
你确定没有误解吗? Are you sure there wasn't some kind of misunderstanding?
不 不 确实是妮啦华夫饼 No, no, those were definitely Nilla Wafers.
真的把我吓出翔了 And it really bums me out, you know,
因为我以为她是特别的 'cause I thought she was something special.
她感觉像妈妈 She was like a mom to me.
那么你应该和她谈谈 Well, then you should go talk to her
试着解释清楚 and try to clear this up.
太诡异了 不过也许是无辜的 It sounds weird, but maybe it was innocent.
我是说 这不是第一次 I mean, this wouldn't be the first time
你误解别人对你有意了 you thought someone was hitting on you.
你想再加点薯条和饮料吗? Would you like to add chips and a drink?
又来了 Here we go again.
好了 Rupert 就这样吧 All right, Rupert, here we go.
我还没死 不过我勃起了 Well, I'm not dead,but I do have a boner.
关于Stewie的新发现 So that is something new about Stewie.
好吧 死在警察手里 Okay, death by cop.
嘿 警察 过来打我呀! Hey, copper, come get me!
哦 不 一个武装分子! Oh, no, an armed assailant!
我绝对我想今天死 I definitely don't want to die today.
我的生活还有很多意义 I have so much to live for.
快来!射杀我! Come on! Shoot me!
正好我没穿防弹衣 The one day I don't wear my bulletproof vest!
你在看什么 我毫无抵抗 What are you waiting for?I'm wide open!
你不恨你枪下的这颗心脏吗? Don't you hate how the heart is right about here?
快点吻吧 娘娘腔! Just kiss, you fruitcakes!
好吧 Rupert 老旧吐丝机在浴池里绝不会失手 All right, Rupert, the old toaster in the tub never fails.
哦 该死 我想死 不是变成吐丝机侠 Oh, damn, I wanted to die,not turn into Toaster Man.
我不懂这个吐丝机侠 I don't know about this Toaster Man.
在他得到所有的辉煌 John Q 纳税人被留下 While he's getting all the glory, John Q. Taxpayer is left
打扫碎屑 to clean up the crumbs.
我的早餐面包烤地完美! My breakfast bread just got perfectly browned!
我希望我能谢谢他 I just wish I could thank him!
哦 我认为他知道 爸 Oh, I think he knows, Pop.
我认为他知道 I think he knows.
Evelyn 我们得谈谈 Evelyn, we need to talk.
哦 Peter 我欠你个道歉 Oh, Peter,I owe you an apology.
恐怕我吃的一种新药让我昨天表现奇怪了 I'm afraid my new medicine made me act foolishly yesterday.
你一定要原谅我 哦 You must forgive me.Oh.
所以 那那只是你的药的错 对吧? So it-it was, it was just your medicine, huh?
好吧 我想我能理解 Well, I guess I can understand that.
我对鼻腔喷雾上瘾 You know, I'm addicted to nasal spray.
我闻到了一切! 我无法战胜! I smell everything!I'm invincible!
我很可能会沮丧一阵 I'm probably gonna be a little down
直到再次使用喷雾 until I use the spray again.
没关系 Peter 过来 That's okay, Peter.Now come along.
我已经计划好了我们的今天 I've got quite the day planned for us.
她就是个邪恶女人 ♪ She's just a devil woman
恶魔在她脑中 ♪ With evil on her mind
小心邪恶女人 ♪ Beware the devil woman
她会得到你 ♪ She's gonna get you
她就是个邪恶女人 ♪ She's just a devil woman
恶魔在她脑中 ♪ With evil on her mind
小心邪恶女人 ♪ Beware the devil woman
她会得到你 偷偷地 ♪ She's gonna get you from behind. ♪
Evelyn 我认为我们 Evelyn, I think it's best
最好还是不要再见了 that we don't see each other anymore.
但 Peter But Peter...
不 Evelyn 我信任过你 No, Evelyn, I trusted you,
但这些奇怪的事总发生 and all this funny business keeps happening,
我完全不认为是你的药的原因 and I don't think it's your medicine at all.
所以 我还是说再见吧 So I'm afraid this is good-bye.
但Peter 我以为我们是朋友 But Peter, I thought we were friends.
是 对 你骗了我 Yeah, right.You tricked me!
你就想那些网络捕食者一样坏 You're as bad as those predators on the Internet.
太狂野了 Stacey That's wild, Stacey.
我也是个12岁女孩 I'm a 12-year-old girl, too.
我叫Jenny My name's Jenny.
想过来帮我搬家吗? Want to come over to my place and help me move?
嘿 你不是12岁女孩 Hey, you're not a 12-year-old girl!
你也不是 Jenny Neither are you, Jenny!
哼 不过我们也不是不一样的 Huh. I guess we aren't so different after all.
是 还有这不是很多东西 Yeah. You know, this isn't a whole lot of stuff.
我们可能可以一小时内搞完 We can probably knock this out in an hour.
搞毛啊 What the hell?!
Stewie 你这是搞毛啊 Stewie, what the hell are you doing?!
他在做他的税表 他看起来像做什么? He's doing his taxes!What's it look like he's doing?
Vito 离邻居房子远一点 Vito, get away from the neighbors' house!
我在自杀 Brian I'm killing myself,Brian.
你自己说的 我们死后 You said it yourself,when we die,
归于虚无!就等着在地里腐烂! there's nothing!We just rot in the ground!
如果人生没有意义 Well, if life has no purpose,
为什么不干脆终止呢? why not just cut to the chase?
听着 Stewie 我知道你忧虑 Look, Stewie, I know you're worried,
但你不能一直这么在恐惧死亡中活着 but you can't live your life being scared of death.
没人知道接下来会发生什么 Nobody knows what comes next,
所以我们能做的只有尽自己最佳 so all we can do is pack the most we can
做我们每天做的事 into each day we've got.
所以对你来说 就是 So for you,that's taking
45分钟摇腿式拉屎在前院草坪? a 45-minute shaky-leg poop on the front lawn?
我只是说有一些事 I'm just saying there's something
可以在活着的时刻做 to be said for living in the moment.
所以你是说 So what you're saying is
我得找到我的摇腿式拉屎? I've got to find my shaky-leg poop.
正确 Exactly.
我我一直想 Well, I-I have always wanted
做创作型歌手 to be a singer-songwriter.
呃 是 不 是 你可以做这个 Um... yeah. No, yeah,you could do that.
你 你停顿了 You-You paused.
为什么为什么停顿? Why-Why did you pause?
呃 没啥原因 Uh... no reason.
又停顿了!我对上帝发誓 You did it again!I swear to God,
我马上就跳出窗外! I will throw myself right out that window!
好 欢迎来苹果树吧 Okay, welcome to the Apple Tree Pub.
我是Stewie Griffin 还有这些... I'm Stewie Griffin,and these...
是我的6个助手 are my six assistants.
你猜怎样 我改主意了 You know,I changed my mind.
自杀去吧 Kill yourself.
嘿 妈妈 我我得给你讲点事 Hey, Mom, I-I gotta talk to you about something.
自从你变成一块刻有 You know, ever since you turned into a rock
你名字的岩石 with your name on it,
你朋友真的对我行为有失 your friend's been really inappropriate with me.
你好 Peter Hello, Peter.
你来这做什么 What are you doing here?
Peter 我想道歉 Peter, I want to apologize.
我确实对你行为有失 I did behave inappropriately.
只是自从我亲爱的Walter死后 It's just that since my beloved Walter died,
你是第一个注意我的男人 you're the first man who's paid any attention to me,
我想我利用了这点 and I guess I took advantage of that.
呃 既然既然你这么说 Well, you know, when-when you put it that way,
我想也许也有点是我的错 I guess maybe it's a little bit my fault, too.
我太想念我妈妈了 I missed my mom so much,
我觉得也许我也利用你作为替换品了 and I guess maybe I sort of used you as a replacement.
我很高兴我们成朋友了 Evelyn I'm glad we became friends, Evelyn.
Evelyn? Evelyn?!
看起来是某人的妈妈过世了之类的 Looks like somebody's mom died or something,
我不知道 你-你会解决的 对吧? I don't know. You--You'll take care of this, right?