♪ It seems today that all you see ♪
♪ Is violence in movies and sex on TV ♪
♪ But where are those good old-fashioned values ♪
♪ On which we used to rely?
♪ Lucky there's a family guy
♪ Lucky there's a man who positively can do ♪
♪ All the things that make us
♪ Laugh and cry
♪ He's... a... Fam... ily... Guy! ♪
♪ Family Guy 12x15 ♪Secondhand Spoke 二手演(烟)说
翻译&注释:螃蟹阿雪 校对：wloverp 压制: @familyguy贴吧字幕组
好 Brian 我们到了 Okay, Brian, here we are.
嘿 谢谢你在发短信间的空闲 Hey, thanks for fitting in the ride to school
载我来学校 in between your texts.
不用谢 Chris 不用谢 Totally, Chris, totally.
我确定一切都会搞定的 I'm sure it'll all work itself out.
还有那件事祝你好运 And good luck on that thing.
刚才那是个婴儿车 不是减速带 You know, that was a stroller,not a speed bump.
呃哦 看来摊上事了 Uh-oh. This looks like trouble.
如果他们喊我全名就知道他们是混混 I'll know they're bullies if they use my full name.
嗯 看看谁来了 Well, look who it is.
Chris Griffin.
哦 天 Oh, boy.
嘿 肥仔 Hey, fat ass.
你咪咪比你姐的都大 Your boobs are bigger than your sister's.
哦 是吗?呃... Oh, yeah? Well...
你也有个姐姐 you have a sister as well.
这就是你的回击? That's your comeback?
哦 伙计! Oh, man!
哦我的上帝 可怜的Chris Oh, my God. Poor Chris.
他像疤脸一样是个社会弃儿. He's a social outcast like Scarface.
疤面煞星 1983年的黑帮电影 由影帝阿尔·帕西诺主演
好 我们成交 Okay, we have a deal.
你给钱 我给你可乐 You bring the money,I get you the coke.
成交 疤脸 You got it, Scarface.
哦 我的上帝! Oh, my God!
你能看见它? You can see that?
医生说你不应该能的 The doctor said you wouldn't be able to!
能 所有人都能看到 Yes, everyone can see that.
这就是为什么我们叫你疤脸 That's why we call you Scarface.
哇哦哇哦哇哦! "我们"? Whoa, whoa, whoa! "We"?
嗯 我看过所有油管上的视频 Well, I have officially seen every video ever on YouTube.
必须要说 没有一个差的 Got to say,there's not a bad one.
我需要这些运单马上填好 I need these shipping invoices filed immediately.
我马上回来 I'll be right back.
她又这样 There she goes again.
为什么每次有任务 How come she always skips out
她都逃脱? when there's work to do?
她那是抽烟休息 She's just taking a smoke break.
聋子抽烟 A deaf person smoking.
真是 真是诡异 That's-that's weird.
为什么诡异? Why is that weird?
是...呃 没什么具体原因 That... I mean, there's no reason that that's weird,
但就就是诡异 是不? but it-it-it is weird, right?
是 Griffin 是诡异 Yes, Griffin, it's weird.
等下 你是说 如果我想出去或怎样 Wait, so you mean to tell me,if I ever want to get out
只要说抽烟休息就行? of something, all I got to do is take a smoke break?
呃 应该可以 Well, I suppose.
但你不抽烟 But you don't smoke.
嗯 其实我抽 Well, actually I do.
好吧 Griffin All right, Griffin.
你显然是个抽烟者 You're clearly a smoker.
享受你的休息 Enjoy your break.
哇哦 我能以此为借口逃脱所有事 Wow, I can use smoking to get out of anything.
终于 像我14世祖丹麦王那样 Finally, I'm above the law like my 14th century ancestor
我成了高于法律的存在 King of Denmark Griffin.
更多酒!更多女人! More wine! More women!
更多桌子! More table!
我心脏病犯了! I'm having a heart attack!
桌子上谁是医生? Is anyone at the table a doctor?
我是! I am!
过来!快!跑着! Come here! Hurry! Run!
"但路太远医生没及时到达" "But the very far-away doctor couldn't make it in time."
这就是丹麦都是小桌子的原因 And that's why here in Denmark we have very small tables.
好 Stewie 该换尿布了 Okay, Stewie, time to change your diaper.
哦!哦 抽烟休息! Ooh! Oh, smoke break!
Scott Caan就这么被养大的 Well, this is how Scott Caan was raised,
演员 父母也是著名演员 于其1岁离异
长大后他还行 and he turned out okay.
嘿 爸 想听听我今天在学校的故事吗? Hey, Dad, want to hear a story about my day at school?
是关于我那个火辣朋友Melissa It's about my hot friend Melissa.
好 Okay.
她今天上学没穿胸衣 She didn't wear a bra to school today.
好 Okay.
有人把水洒在她的整个白衬衣上了 And someone spilled water all over her white shirt.
好 Okay.
天很冷 所以啥都能看见 And it was cold, so you could see everything.
好 Okay.
然后她走了 我发现我一个人孤单... Then she left and I realized I was all alone...
抽烟休息! Smoke break!
嘿 Chris? Hey, Chris?
我我想和你谈谈今天学校发生的事... I-I wanted to talk about what happened at school...
那里是个死沙鼠吗? Is that a dead gerbil in there?
那是个有毛皮的鱼 That's a fur fish.
诡异的物种 It's a weird species.
你放它们进去 然后它们会拼命游泳 You put them in there, and they swim like hell
大概 30秒 然后它们就沉睡 for, like, 30 seconds,and then they go to sleep.
这个滑稽鬼还没醒 This joker still hasn't woken up.
快起床 懒鬼! Get up, lazy!
嗯 那些孩子今天 You know, the way those kids
在学校里找你的茬儿 were picking on you today in school.
你真的应该自卫的 You really got to stand up for yourself.
Stewie 这很不容易 Stewie, it's not so easy.
如果我这么说你怎么办"嘿 矮鬼" What would you say if I said,"Hey there, shorty"?
我会说"去买个甜甜圈 你个白化病猩猩" I'd say, "Have another doughnut, you albino gorilla."
哦 是吗?呃... Oh, yeah? Well...
你也有个姐姐 you have a sister as well.
哦 Stewie 我我永远也不能像你那样解决 Oh, Stewie, I-I could never come up with stuff like you do.
当然不 你贴心又单纯 Of course not.You're sweet and simple.
但即使是你，也可以学一些足以聪明过 But even you could learn enough to outsmart
学校那些白痴 those cretins at your school.
然后他们就会尊重你 And they'll respect you for it.
事实上 我会教你 In fact, I'll teach you how.
你为什么要为我做这些 Why would you do that for me?
我是你弟弟 Chris I'm your brother, Chris.
我们是一个队伍 而且我们要互相照顾 We're a team and we've got to look out for each other.
就像猫头鹰和Costello Like Owl and Costello.
Abbott and Costello 美国1940年代双人喜剧 问"谁第一"是此剧日常
我是指在第一垒那伙计的名字 I mean the fellow's name on first base.
谁 打第一垒的那伙计 Who.The fellow playing first base.
谁 第一垒的家伙 Who.The guy on first base.
谁 我问你谁是第一个! Who.I'm asking you who's on first!
谁 我要问你呢! Who.That's what I'm asking you!
没什么比误解更好玩儿的了 Nothing will ever be funnier than misunderstandings.
好 Chris 他们来了 All right, Chris,here they come.
现在 记住我们练好的 Now, remember what we practiced.
现在 你会对中间那个怎么说? Now, what are you gonna call the one in the middle?
等腰三角形? Isosceles triangle?
啥?!不是吧 Chris! What?! Come on, Chris!
我们练了一晚上的 We worked on this all night.
我知道!但我还有个几何测验! I know! I also had a geometry test!
嗯 那个怎样? Well, how'd that go?
墨镜不错啊 垃圾
嘿 看看谁在那 Hey, look who it is.
蠢猪 Dorky Pig.
上Chris 再不上就晚了 Go on, Chris. It's now or never.
让他们瞧瞧 Let them have it.
肌肉不错 Nice muscles.
啥 你属于健身房? What, do you belong to a gym?
哦 看在上帝份上 Chris Oh, for God's sake, Chris.
来 把我放包里重复我说的话 Here, put me on your back and repeat what I say.
快!他们来了! Quick! Here they come!
挨近看你更丑了 Griffin You're even uglier up close, Griffin.
好 现在说... Okay, now say...
我听说你是从你妈菊花里出生的 I heard you were born out of your mom's butt.
我艹她时听她说的 I heard that from your mom while I was doing her.
你个菊花小孩 You're a butt baby.
这是你胸口痣密布的原因 That's why you've got moles all over your chest.
降生粪便浴 Leftover birth dook.
哦 伙计!Griffin 教训了他! Oh, man!Griffin schooled him!
我不敢相信我明天要转校 I can't believe I'm moving tomorrow,
然后就看不到这怎么发展了 and I won't get to see how this works out.
哇哦 Stewie 我们合作得完美无缺 Wow, Stewie, we're gonna work perfectly together.
就像福尔摩斯和华生 Like Sherlock Holmes and Watson.
华生 有线索! Watson, a clue!
入侵者脚带有红粘土 The intruder has tracked in a red clay,
这种土只有伦敦同性恋澡堂才有 which can only be found near London's homosexual bathhouse.
太棒了 福尔摩斯 Amazing, Holmes.
你怎么知道的? How did you know that?
通过,嗯 比如 书之类的东西 Just from, like,books and stuff.
到你了 Your turn.
Peter 我们在一起这么多年 You know, Peter, it's so nice
还能这样一起 that after all these years we've been together,
真是太好了 抽烟休息! we can still...Smoke break!
啥?Peter 你在下面做什么? What? Peter, what are you doing down there?
没啥 Nothing.
嗯 感觉可不像没啥 Well, it doesn't seem like nothing.
Peter 你什么时候成烟鬼了? Peter, since when are you a smoker?
马上把那个扔了 Put that out right now!
抽烟是高度上瘾的 Smoking is highly addictive.
我没上瘾 I'm not addicted.
我只是每小时都需要几个 I just need a couple every hour or so,
才不会完全发疯 so I don't go completely insane.
Peter 那就是上瘾的意思 Peter, that's exactly what addicted means.
你摊上大问题了 You have a serious problem.
香烟会杀了你 Cigarettes will kill you.
放松 Lois 随时要戒我都能戒 Relax, Lois.I can quit any time I want.
听着 我马上就把这根扔出去 Look, I'll toss this one out right now.
把你扔出来真的太抱歉了 I'm so sorry I threw you out the window!
嘿 伙计 能不能小声点? Hey, man, can you keep it down?
抱歉 等下 你在谁屋? Sorry.Wait, whose bedroom are you in?
Meg的 Meg's.
哦 那就没关系 Okay, that's fine then.
爸哪儿了? Where's Dad?
你爸爸早起去跑步了 Your father got up early and went for a run.
啊 没什么比跑步后来个薄荷 Ah, nothing like an after-run mint
更能清新慢跑者的口气了 to get rid of that jogger's breath.
好 现在坐下吃早餐 Okay, now sit down and have some breakfast.
我给做了你最爱的--华夫饼 和... I made your favorite--waffles and...
嘿 呃 有人拿今天的报纸了吗? Hey, uh, did anybody get the paper today?
啊 没什么比报纸后来薄荷 Ah, nothing like an after-paper mint
更能清新拿报后的口气了 to get rid of that paper-getting breath.
你知道 我觉得这些华夫饼可以 You know, I feel like these waffles could use
来点新鲜空气 来 孩子们 a little fresh air.Come on, boys.
Peter 坐下 Peter, sit down.
你需要你的早餐 You need your breakfast.
哦 Peter 我准备告诉你 Oh, Peter,I meant to tell you.
记得我表亲Sylvia的丈夫Robert吗?嗯... Remember my cousin Sylvia's husband Robert? Well...
这故事有结局吗?! Does this story have an end?!
Peter 我才刚开始 Peter, I just started.
哦 Meg牛奶没了 我给你拿一盒 Oh, Meg's out of milk.I'll get you a carton.
嘿 故事不错 Lois Hey, good story, Lois.
你包装得很精心 You wrapped it up nicely.
我知道理论上不违法 I know it's technically not illegal,
但感觉你音乐老师用垃圾袋绕腰上 but it seemed wrong when your music teacher wrapped
好换裤子是不对的 a trash bag around his waist so he could change pants.
嘿 犹太-浆果 Hey, Jew-bacca!
逾越节太傻了 我要通过打烂你鼻子来证明 Passover's stupid and I'm gonna prove it by breaking your nose.
犹太节日
嘿! Hey!
为什么不找你相同信仰的 Why don't you pick on someone your own religion
可以为自己斗争的人? who can fight for themselves?
而且你也不强 And you're not so tough.
你常常不能参加游泳课 You frequently opt out of swim class
因为你的恶心畸形小JJ because of your gross microcephalic penis.
不恶心! It's not gross!
是特别! It's special.
我能用它来重置我的有线电视盒。 I can use it to reset my cable box.
嘿 Chris 你在那为那个可爱的犹太人做什么? Hey, Chris, what you did there for that sweaty Jew?
太有爱了 That was really nice.
滚远点 恶心的村姑 Back away, foul wench!
你的大屁股对我一点吸引力也没! Your wide hips hold no temptation for me!
呃 我是说... Uh... I mean...
你有... you have...
解剖学
...一个-一个阴部 ...a-a vulva...
和输卵管 and fallopian tubes.
终于!一个倾听的人! Finally!A guy who listens!
这是我电话 联系我 Here's my number.Call me.
♪
Peter 你什么时候开始抽烟的? Peter, when'd you start smoking?
呃 就是 起初为了躲避工作 Well, you know, at first it was a way to get out of work,
然后发现这是个不错的习惯 but then I discovered it's a delightful habit
大有益处 是吗?比如什么? that has lots of benefits.Yeah? Like what?
比如我在严肃谈话时可以用 Like I get to punctuate tough conversations
敲烟灰停顿以强调 by ashing a cigarette.
Joe 你的婚姻到头了 Joe, your marriage is over.
哦 别介 Bonnie和我比任何时候都坚定 Oh, please. Bonnie and I are stronger than ever.
你的婚姻... Your marriage...
到头了 is over.
既然你和烟一起说的... Well, now that you say it with the cigarette...
♪
上帝 好像 今年学校没啥帅哥辣妹。 God, there's, like, no one hot at this school this year.
好 学生们 坐下 Okay, students, take your seats.
首先 我们有新规则: First off, we have a new rule:
不要再问体育老师他们有没有上过大学。 no more asking the gym teachers if they went to college.
他们没上过。 They did not.
下一个 该提名学生主席候选人了。 Next, it's time for nominations for student body president.
现在 我们有那个永远乐观的黑人小孩 As of now, we have the perpetually upbeat black kid
无人竞争 running unopposed.
快 呦 接下来对我们所有人是伟大的一年! Come on, yo, this is gonna be a great year for all of us!
当然有别的学生 Surely there's another student
愿意来竞选 who'd like to throw his hat in the ring.
我提名Chris Griffin! I nominate Chris Griffin!
Chris 他们爱你 Chris, they love you.
我做教练比上帝还在行 I'm a better coach than God.
快点 你快被十字架钉死了! Come on, you're getting crucified out there!
耶稣:我知道 是被十字架钉死 JESUS: I know. It's a crucifixion.
呃 是 我知道 Well, yeah, I know.
但那不等于你应该停止尝试 But that doesn't mean you should stop trying.
爸 你不是教练! Dad, you're not the coach!
Peter你到8点半才放屁。 Peter, your fart didn't go off until 8:30.
起来 我们迟了 Get up. We're late!
见鬼了?! What the hell?!
啥?啥?啥?Peter What? What? What?!Peter,
太太可怕了! i-it's horrible!
这还住着别人呢! Other people live here!
哦 我的上帝! Oh, my God!
怎么会这样? How did this happen?!
因为吸烟! It's from smoking!
还不算太糟 It's not that bad.
Peter你不能这么活着 Peter, you can't live like this.
我要带你去见Hartman医生 I'm taking you to Dr. Hartman.
不!我恨医生! No! I hate the doctor!
你确定? Are you sure?
那有奶酪饼干 There are Cheez-Its in there.
奶酪饼干?! Cheez-Its?!
嗯?等-等下 发生什么了? Huh? W-Wait. What's going on?
人家害怕!人家害怕! I'm scared! I'm scared!
哦 晚上了 Oh, it's nighttime.
晚安 Good night.
Griffin先生 我要问你几个问题 Mr. Griffin, I'm gonna need to ask you a few questions.
你猜我能跳起来够到那个管子吗? Do you think I can jump and touch that pipe up there?
我不知道 见鬼才够不着呢！ I don't know.The hell I can't!
看 够着了 There, got it.
嗯 我猜你的指尖碰到了点 Yeah, I guess your fingertips grazed it.
是 那个算是个扣篮 Yeah, that counts as a dunk.
Hartman医生 我们来找你帮Peter戒烟的 Dr. Hartman, we're here for you to help Peter quit smoking.
Griffin夫人 我做不到 那是烟瘾 Mrs. Griffin, I can't do that. It's an addiction.
我都不能让我儿子变直男 I can't even get my son to quit being gay.
嗯 你得做点什么!他是慢性自杀! Well, you got to do something! He's killing himself!
好吧 多少安定片能让你们离开我? All right, how many Vicodins for you guys to just leave me alone?
可用于合成鸦片的感冒药成分
40 Forty.
Hartman医生不能帮我们实在太糟了 Well, it's too bad Dr. Hartman couldn't help us.
我想我们可以去戒烟中心 I guess we should go to the Stop Smoking Clinic
然后来点葡萄酒 and then maybe get a couple bottles of wine.
哦 嘿 Stewie 准备好去学校了吗? Oh, hey, Stewie.Ready to go to school?
嗯 其实 Chris 我有个好消息 Well, actually, Chris,I've got good news.
呃 我想先听坏消息 Aw, I'll take the bad news first.
不 啥?没有坏消息 No. What? There is no bad news.
哦 好吧 那就先告诉我好消息 Oh, all right. Then give me the good news first.
好消息 我已把能帮你自卫的知识都 The good news is, I've taught you everything you need to know
教给你了 to fend for yourself.
从今往后 你可以独自去上学了 So from now on, you can go to school without me.
你说什么? What are you talking about?
我要竞选学生会长 I'm running for class president.
我需要你! I need you!
你在做什么? What are you doing?
不管你喜欢不喜欢你得和我去学校 You're coming to school with me whether you like it or not!
让我出去!你不能永远囚禁我! Let me out! You can't keep me in here forever!
我对未来还有很多计划! I have too many plans for the future!
我永远不能得诺贝尔奖了! I'll never win a Nobel Prize!
我永远不能成议员了! I'll never be a member of Parliament!
我永远不能一边戴上假牙， I'll never get to express disappointment with young people
一边对年轻人表达失望! while putting in my dentures!
愚蠢的年轻一代 Stupid younger generation.
在我的年代 我们有水果姐 比伯 Back in my day, we had Katy Perry, Justin Bieber.
那才是真正的音乐 That was real music.
Lois 为什么这里所有人看着 Lois, why do all the people in here look
都像帕帕汀大帝 like Emperor Palpatine?
希斯大帝，星战中角色 苍白病态
因为他们都是重度烟瘾者 Peter Because they're all heavy smokers, Peter.
我要帮你注册 I'm gonna sign you in.
那个开1978年大黄蜂的司机能动下车吗? Would the driver of a 1978 Camaro please move your car?
伙计 见鬼地我怎么才能戒烟? Man, how the hell am I gonna quit smoking?
我希望吸烟能先离开我 I wish smoking could just quit me instead.
谢谢你来见我 Thank you for meeting me here.
我有重要事要告诉你 I have something very important to tell you.
我也有重要事要告诉你 I have something important to tell you, too.
Peter我想我们应该开始各自找别人了 Peter, I think we should see other people.
好吧 Okay.
呃 好 那也正是我要说的 Uh, good, that's what I was gonna say, too.
抱歉 我是Stone先生 Anderson轮子第三名字 Excuse me, I'm Mr. Stone with the ad agency
广告公司的代表 of Anderson, Wheeler and Thirdname.
我认为你很适合我们新戒烟广告的形象 And I think you'd be perfect for our new anti-smoking campaign.
我?你想让我上电视? Me? You'd want me on TV?
即使我形容枯槁? Even though I'm hideous?
当然 你看过海滨帝国吗? Sure. Have you seen Boardwalk Empire?
2010开播HBO电视剧
那就是屎样脸蛋的盛会 It's just a crap-fest of faces.
只有一条:如果你做我们的代言人 There is one catch: if you're gonna be our spokesman,
你必须一直吸烟 you have to keep smoking.
我们要你保持病态褶皱状态 We need you to stay wrinkled and sickly.
但我妻子带我来是为了戒烟 But my wife brought me here to quit smoking.
妻子 哼? Wives, huh?
好 好吧 我站你这边 O-Okay,now I'm on your side!
哦 太棒了 Oh, this is awesome!
我要上电视了! I'm gonna be on TV!
但是别再提戒烟 好不? But no more talk of quitting, right?
成交 所以 呃 You got it. So, um,
这种事是不是工资颇丰? does somethin' like this pay a lot of money?
你觉得颇丰是多少? What do you think a lot of money is?
我我不想说 好尴尬 I-I don't want to say.I'm embarrassed.
美国肺协会的忠告 And now a word from the American Lung Association.
哦 嘿 嘿 大家!我的电视出境来了! Oh, hey, hey, guys! Here comes one of my TV spots!
嗨 Peter Griffin 重度吸烟者 Hi, Peter Griffin,sickly smoker.
这是你的心 This is your heart.
这是你在香烟上的心 This is your heart on cigarettes.
有问题吗? Any questions?
嗯 你从哪得到这颗心的? Yeah, where'd you get that heart?
嘿 Peter 既然现在你是名人了 Hey, Peter, now that you're a celebrity,
我能要张你相片挂墙上吗? could I get a picture of you to put on the wall?
当然 给你 Sure, here you go.
谢谢你 伙计 Thanks, man.
我要把你放在你不认识的且及易搞错 I'll put you up next to these black celebrities
的黑人名人旁边 who are just confusing strangers to you.
谁是Marlin Johnson? Who's Marlin Johnson?
哦 别介 伙计 单口相声演员? Oh, come on, man.Stand-up comedian?
他会那整套的"哦呃哦呃嘿呦" He got that whole thing about the "Oh-Ee-Oh-Ee-Hey-Yo."
我甚至都讲不完 I can't even get through it.
嘿 你在说Marlin Johnson? Hey! You talkin' 'bout Marlin Johnson?
你懂的!"哦呃哦呃嘿呦" You know it!Oh-Ee-Oh-Ee-Hey-Yo!
没错 That's right.
嘿 Lois Hey, Lois.
Peter 我在电视上看见你 我必须说 Peter, I saw your ad on TV,and I got to say,
我很高兴你最终做了对的事 I'm glad you're finally doing the right thing.
是 能帮助别人感觉不错 Yeah, it feels good to be helping people.
Peter 你做什么?我以为你戒了! Peter, what are you doing?!I thought you quit!
嘿 如果George Michael无需放弃屁股 Hey, if George Michael doesn't have to give up butts,
乔治·迈克尔， 威猛乐队主唱
我为什么应该? why should I?
烟圈弹!
我说真的 你必须戒烟 I'm serious.You have to stop smoking!
你照过镜子吗?你看着太可怕了 Have you looked in the mirror?You look terrible.
呃 你在乎什么? Eh, what do you care?
OOXX又不必须看我的脸 It's not like you have to look at my face when we have sex.
自从我们开始角色扮演后 Not since we started role-playing.
Peter 我准备好了 Peter, I'm ready.
好 现在戴上你的 Okay, now put on yours.
哇哦 我们都选了Mario Lopez不诡异吗? Wow, isn't it weird that we both picked Mario Lopez?
Mario Lopez美国男星 XFactor主持
是 Peter 太诡异了 Yes, Peter.It's very weird.
是 证明我们都爱拉丁 但是软拉丁 Yeah, it shows that we both go Latino but soft Latino.
囚于Chris背包中的第五天 Day five of my imprisonment inside Chris' backpack.
粪便及其堆积仍然是 Feces and the buildup thereof continues to be
我的头号问题 my number one problem.
我认为有天一老师看见我了但是没有做声 I think a teacher saw me the other day but said nothing.
我摇手 他别过头了 I waved and he looked away.
这可以是我逃离这个帆布牢笼的机会 This could be my chance to escape this canvas cage!
这听起来是个敞开的门 哪边是出口? That sounds like an open door.Which way is out?
上帝 我爱在大厅里走! God, I love walking in the hall!
这里!这条路! There! That way!
一定要逃跑! Must escape!
一定...要逃跑 Must... escape.
一... Mu...
你会死在里面 You're gonna die in there.
欢迎回来 Griffin先生 Welcome back,Mr. Griffin!
你看着太糟了 You look terrible!
谢谢 叫Sandy的男人 Thanks, man named Sandy!
哦 嘿 呃 我不知道是不是该找你 Oh, hey, uh, you know,I don't know if you're the guy
说这个 但今早当看我的拖车时 to talk to about this,but when I went to my trailer
看见了一个多毛的裸体男人在里面 this morning, there was a hairy naked guy in it.
我们不提供拖车。 We don't provide trailers.
我们在拖车公园的隔壁 We're just next door to a trailer park.
啊 Ah.
这就能解释那个随后的激烈做爱 That would explain the violent lovemaking that followed.
听着 Peter我们得谈谈 Listen, Peter, we need to talk.
我很抱歉通知你 我们不再需要你了 I'm sorry to tell you this, but we no longer need your services.
等等...啥? Wait... What?
你怎么能这样?! How could you do that?!
嗯 我去了NASCAR展览会 Well, I went to a NASCAR event
美国赛车联合会
然后发现你只是个形貌普通的人 and realized you're just an average-looking man.
求你!我愿意做任何事保住工作 Please! I'll do anything to keep my job!
说-说任何事我都会做! N-Name anything you want and I'll do it!
碰你的脚趾头 Touch your toes.
给我选个别的! Please give me something else!
我很抱歉 Peter 都结束了 I'm sorry, Peter,it's over.
你的眼中为何饱含泪水 Peter Why are your eyes crying, Peter?
他们炒了我了 Larry They fired me, Larry!
别这样 让我们去绑架我邻居的狗 Come on. Let's go kidnap my neighbor's dog
然后告诉他们我们没拿它 and tell them we don't have it.
早安学生们 Good morning, students.
首先 我不在乎法院怎么说 First of all, I don't care what the courts say,
让我们一起感谢基督上帝 let's thank the Christian god together.
现在 我们共聚于此 Now then, we're here today
来参加学生会长选举辩论 for the presidential candidate debate.
好 记得 现在大家都认为我聪明 Okay, remember,people think I'm smart now.
所以 必须既聪明又受欢迎的 So it's got to be clever and it's got to pop.
我不干了 我不会说一个字 I'm done! I'm not saying another word.
你不能永远囚禁我 You can't hold me prisoner in here forever!
为什么不?说个爱你的人 Why not?Name one person who loves you.
哇哦 不是个合理的回复啊 Wow. Not a proportional response.
好 让我们以永远乐观的黑人孩子 All right, let's begin with an opening statement
开场演讲开始。 from the perpetually upbeat black kid.
谢谢能让我先开始 Thanks for letting me go first.
这之后我得开1个半小时回家 I got an hour-and-a-half drive home after this.
你没有明白， Chris 是吧? You're not getting it,Chris, are you?
你整日被欺负 You were being bullied day in and day out,
所以我试着帮你 so I tried to help you.
我试着做个好弟弟 I tried to be a good brother.
然后你以虐待来报答我 And you've repaid me with abuse.
你才是欺凌弱小的人 Chris Griffin You're the bully, Chris Griffin.
哦 我的上帝 你说的对 Oh, my God.You're right.
现在欢迎我们的第二候选人的开场演讲 And now an opening statement from our second candidate,
精神抖擞者的王者 Chris Griffin the King of the Zingers,Chris Griffin.
对我别太狠了，Chris Go easy on me, Chris.
我姐姐有硕士 My sister has M.S.
我担心你要以此说什么 I'm worried what you're gonna do with that.
我退出 我不参加了 I'm out. I'm not running.
她也不 And neither is she.
我知道你会说点什么 I knew you'd have something.
不 你不懂 No, you don't understand.
我退出选举了 I'm dropping out of the election.
我是个大骗子 I'm a big fraud,
而且我曾恶劣地对待人 and I've treated people terribly.
就像Jeff Zucker运营NBC时 Much like Jeff Zucker when he ran NBC.
Jeff Zucker现任NBC总裁
我很抱歉 Stewie I'm sorry, Stewie.
你能原谅我吗? Can you forgive me?
我也许不会在你背后帮忙 Well, I may no longer be on your back,
但我会一直站在你这一边 but I'll always be on your side.
好 All right,
选举推迟 回去上课 this election is postponed.Go back to class.
哦 还有件事 Oh, and another thing,
不要再取笑没有车的老师了 stop making fun of teachers who don't have cars.
现在生活不像你们想的那么容易 Life's not as easy as you think it's gonna be right now.
你知道 Chris 你在台上做的需要很大勇气 You know, Chris, what you did on that stage took a lot of guts.
谢谢 Stewie Thanks, Stewie.
还有谢谢你 让我不再被欺负 And thanks to you, I'm no longer getting bullied.
哦 那很好 Well, that's great.
那些恶霸也吃了点苦头了 对不? I guess we put those bullies in their place, huh?
是 两个用枪自杀了 Yeah. Two of them shot themselves.
哦 太高兴听到这个了 Chris Oh, that's so good to hear, Chris.
他们结束了?他们都结束了? Are they done?They're-they're all done?
嗷 好 让我们解决我们的 Okay, all right,let's finish ours.
我终于戒烟了 而且我已经准备好重回正常了！ Well, I finally quit smoking and I'm ready to go back to normal!
Peter 不是这么运作的 Peter, that's not how it works.
你对自己的损害是不可逆的 The damage you've done is irreversible.
是 Lois说的对 虽然你脸看着糟透了 Yeah, Lois is right.As bad as you look,
你心肺受的伤害 the damage you've done to your heart and your lungs is,
毫无疑问 更加糟糕无数倍 啥?! no doubt, exponentially worse.What?!
试试播送房子外景配上音乐 Well, try cuttin' to the outside of the house over some music.
这个通常都有用 That usually works.
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