♪ It seems today that all you see ♪
♪ Is violence in movies and sex on TV ♪
♪ But where are those good old-fashioned values ♪
♪ On which we used to rely? ♪
♪ Lucky there's a family guy ♪
♪ Lucky there's a man who positively can do ♪
♪ All the things that make us ♪
♪ Laugh and cry ♪
♪ He's... a... Fam... ily... Guy! ♪
♪ Family Guy 15x07 ♪ High School English/高中语文 Original Air Date on November 20, 2016
片源：起司宝宝 翻译：表姐 小白 注释：表姐 小白 校对：小白 后期:（请做后期的同志自己填一下） @familyguy贴吧字幕组
大家好 我是Peter Hi. It's me, Peter.
你们也许奇怪我在书房干嘛 You may be wondering what I'm doing in a library.
其实 我是开车撞进了有钱人家 Well, I actually drove my car into this rich guy's house,
他把我锁进来等警察 and he locked me in here until the police come.
不相信？ Don't believe me?
我慌了 把他锁书房里了 I don't know. I just locked him in the library.
他好像吸毒了 Seems like he's on something.
瞪着眼大叫“老子不在乎” He's got crazy eyes and keeps screaming, "I don't care."
老子不在乎！ I don't care!
话说回来 在催泪弹扔进来前还有些时间 Anyway, I've got some time to kill before this room is filled with tear gas,
所以我想 为啥不读一些高中时没读的名著呢 so I thought, "Why not finally read some of the classics I never read in high school."
这就有一本 《了不起的盖茨比》 Here's one right here: The Great Gatsby.
一位受尊重的作家Scott写的 A book by the only respected guy in the world named Scott.
长岛，1922年
长岛以前是个很繁华的地方
这是我在海边第一个夏天 It was my first summer staying at the shore,
但我觉得 我捣蛋鬼Nick Carraway but I had a feeling that I, Nick "The Situation" Carraway,
会适应这里 would fit right in.
嘿 我是《了不起的盖茨比》里的Nick Hey, it's Nick from The Great Gatsby.
我刚入住 有人把牙忘在这儿了 I just checked in, and somebody left their teeth here.
我 我不晓得 就是一副假牙 I-I don't know, it's just a set of teeth.
我猜是男士的？ I-I guess men's?
不 我才不想随手扔了 No, I'm not putting them anywhere.
你自己过来拿 You come and get them.
呃 隔壁正在开吵人的 Yecch. The neighbors are having a party
爵士乐派对呢 with loud jazz music.
哎 至少讨厌的拟声爵士还没发明 Well, at least annoyingly scatting over jazz hasn't been invented yet.
♪ 啵啵啵 叭叭叭 ♪ ♪ Bop, bop, bop, ba-ba-bah ♪
♪ 哔哔哔 噗噗... ♪ ♪ Boop, boop, boop, doo, boo... ♪
啊 刚说完就发明出来了！ Oh, that must have been invented today!
嘿 这是谁的派对？ Hey, whose party is this?
不知道 女人还不许问问题呢 I'm not sure. Women aren't allowed to ask questions yet.
呐 你叫什么？ So, what's your name?
女士 别得意忘形啊 Madam, you forget yourself.
那是我第一次见到他 That's when I first laid eyes on him.
Jay Gatsby Jay Gatsby.
很明显他在隔袋摸鸡 但我决定无视 He was clearly playing with himself through his pocket, but I pretended not to see.
哈喽 欢迎光临我的派对 Hello. Welcome to my party.
叫我Gatsby 你好吗 老哥 Name's Gatsby. Good to meet you, old sport.
呃 挥挥手就行了 Yeah, just a wave is fine.
我是你的新邻居 Nick Carraway I-I'm your new neighbor, Nick Carraway.
噢 希望我们不是特别吵 老哥 Oh, I hope we weren't too loud, old sport.
呃 你叫我老哥 你一直这么叫别人 Yeah, this "old sport" thing, is this, is this something you're trying out,
还是心血来潮？ or is this a keeper?
咱俩一见如故 我给你说点小秘密 I just met you, so I want to tell you something very private.
我们去码头吧 Let's go out to the dock.
我每晚都来这沉思 凝视那道绿光 I come down here to think every night and gaze at that green light.
我的挚爱就在那里 Daisy Buchanan It's where the love of my life lives, Daisy Buchanan.
呃 无意冒犯 但那道绿光其实是 Um, I hate to break it to you, but that light you've been looking at
一个叫“啪啪小屋”的基佬健身房 is a gay gym called The Pump House.
我知道是因为他们往我门缝塞小广告 I-I only know that because I saw a coupon that came with my rental.
嗯...总之 Daisy家就在那边 Um... anyway, Daisy's house is over there.
- 她是我表妹 - Daisy是你表妹？！ -She's my cousin. -Daisy's your cousin?!
是啊 这名著里巧合真多 哈？ Yeah. Lot of weird coincidences for an American classic, huh?
啥...我必须见她！ Wha... I have to see her!
呃 我来安排吧 Well, I can set that up.
嗯 不过她可是结婚了 Um, only thing is she's married.
是啊 我还听说她丈夫是个臭傻逼 Yeah, and I hear her husband's a real heel.
哇哦！注意文明！ Whoa-hoa! Language!
不过 好吧 我会帮你安排 But, yeah, I'll set it up.
嗯 明天来我家喝茶 下午两点 Um, tea tomorrow at my house, 2:00 p.m.
好啊 她...她也会来 对吧？ Great. She's... she's gonna be there, right?
对啊 她不来叫你干嘛？ Yeah. Why wouldn't she be there?
说不清 总感觉你gay gay的 I don't know, I'm just getting a funny vibe from you.
你半夜拉我一个人来码头 还说我是gay？ You asked me down to the docks alone, and you're getting a funny vibe from me?
哇哦 这房子可够差劲的 Wow. What an ugly little house.
噢 当然 比你的家暴皇宫是差了点 Oh, yeah, it's not that palace of domestic abuse you live in.
瞧瞧谁来了... Whassup...?
我的天辣！ Oh, my God!
真是你吗？ Is it really you?
噢 我太想你了 Daisy Oh, I've missed you, Daisy.
你还是那么美丽动人 You're as beautiful as ever.
知道还有啥动人吗？ You know what else is beautiful?
我的存款 嘣！ My bank account. Boom!
- 有钱啦 - 你现在发达了？ -Rich guy. -You're rich now?
- 天啊 我爱有钱人！- 还用说？ -Oh, my God, I love that! -I know, right?
走吧 去我家看看 Come on, I'll show you my place.
哦 这就走了？ Oh, you're leaving?
魔鬼蛋：一种沙拉
我做了这些魔鬼蛋呢 But I made all these deviled eggs.
- 你做的？- 你知道我啥意思 -You made? -You know what I meant.
是啊 你做的 做得真香 Yeah, you made them. Great job.
你知道吗 这豪宅最爽的地方在于 You know, one of the best parts of having an enormous mansion
能来这呼吸点新鲜空气 is being able to come out here and get some fresh air.
你知道吗 有时候我真想从阳台上 You know, sometimes I just want to jump off this balcony
直接跳进游泳池里 and into that pool down there.
那就跳吧 So do it.
是啊 我懂 对吧？跳吧！ Yeah, I know, right? Do it!
是啊 跳啊 Yeah. Do it.
当然了 我应该跳的 对吧？我这就跳 I know. I totally should, right? Here I go.
一 二 三...哇哦！能想象出来吗？ One, two, three... Whoa! Can you imagine?
是啊 能想象得到 应该很有趣 Yeah, I-I can imagine. It would be fun.
- 你应该试试 - 如果那么简单就好了 对吧？ -You should do it. -If only it were that easy, right?
确实简单 水看着挺深的 It is. It looks deep enough.
再说是你的泳池 这是你家 It's your pool. It's your house.
- 你想干什么就干什么 - 我懂 对吧？ -You can do whatever you want. -I know, right?
啊 你猜怎么着？现在不行 Ah, you know what? I can't right now.
清洁工在清洁呢 My pool guy's cleaning it.
你要干她吗？ Are you going to bone her?
这太华丽了！ This is amazing!
我从没见过那么多衬衫 I've never seen so many shirts.
你的衣服 那个 够扔吗？ D-Do you have enough to, you know, throw?
嗯 你也知道 这些衣服其实挺贵的...啊 她过去了 Yeah, you know, they're actually kind of expensive... Ah, there she goes.
扔衣服！扔衣服！扔衣服！ Shirt! Shirt! Shirt!
扔衣服！扔衣服！ Shirt! Shirt!
好嘞 五件应该够了吧 Okay, five is good.
五件应该够了 Five is-is probably good.
扔衣服！扔衣服！ Shirt! Shirt!
你之前 呃...我们之前约会你有这么疯吗？ Were you, uh... were-were you this crazy when we dated before?
嗯 Gatsby 对吧？ Mm, Gatsby, is it?
我听说你最近发了笔小财啊 I've been hearing about your vast newly acquired wealth
还有你挺关心我夫人啊 and your attentions to my wife.
所以我想邀你来跟你家同样奢华 So I thought I would have you over to my equally large and fancy,
但更有格调的豪宅吃一顿尴尬晚餐 but imperceptibly more classy mansion for an awkward dinner.
还有 Nick 你见过Jordan了吧？ And, Nick, have you met Jordan?
她打高尔夫 就是以后小孩叫“搞尔夫”的 She plays golf, and is what kids will someday call a "DUFF."
嗨 你好 帽子不错 Hey, yeah. Nice tam-o'-shanter.
你洗手水给我喝吧 I'll drink your finger bowl if you don't want it.
在书里 我还和Jordan约过几次会 In the book, I actually go on a few dates with Jordan.
我们就跳过那一段吧 We're gonna skip all that.
总而言之 就像我以前说的 你就是个垃圾 Anyway, like I was saying, you're a trash,
你就是最近才比我富了一点 'cause you earned your money a little bit more recently than me.
你想表达什么呢？ What are you getting at?
我就是想邀你过来 I'm saying I invited you over
让你坐我老婆旁边 然后说“离我老婆远一点！” and sat you next to my wife to say, "Stay away from my wife!"
你猜怎么着？ You know what we should do?
不如咱们醉驾到曼哈顿 开个房间 Let's all drunk-drive into Manhattan and get a hotel room
再把同样的话说一遍 and have the same conversation we're having here.
我开始怀疑这是不是一本好书了 I'm starting to think this isn't a very good book.
在这我要埋个伏笔 I'd like to add another bit of pointless confusion that will make sense later.
咱们换着车开吧 Let's everyone drive somebody else's car.
你们可以开我的轿车 Someone can take my coupe.
我和Gatsby一起 哪辆车都行 I'm riding with Gatsby, I don't care which car.
谁和我坐Daisy的车？ I'll take someone in Daisy's car.
Daisy没说你可以开她的车 I don't think Daisy said you could drive her car.
Tom 你就开Jay的车吧？ Tom, why don't you take Jay's car?
- 谁是Jay？ - Gatsby -Who's Jay? -Gatsby.
好吧 我没听过谁这么叫他 Okay, I have never heard anyone call him that.
好吧 都不许坐自己的车 懂了 Look, if you're in your own car you're in the wrong car.
T.J.ECKLEBURG 专治眼疾
好嘞 你们在这加油 All right, you guys get gas.
我去和那个糊涂技工的骚老婆搞点事情 I got to talk to this random mechanic's horny wife about some business.
Wilson？把它灌满！ Wilson? Gonna need to fill 'er up!
Wilson的老婆 把她灌满？明白没？ Wilson's wife? Fill 'er up? Get it?
我不知道他们在上面做什么 I don't know what they do up there,
威豹乐队：英国硬摇滚乐队
但他们把威豹乐队放得挺大声的 but they sure do listen to Def Leppard pretty loud.
♪ 拍张照片 上面都是...♪ ♪ Gotta photograph, picture of...♪
那个 最近有什么好电影吗？ So, seen any good movies lately?
最近看了《铁路捆绑女5》 We just saw Woman Tied to Railroad Tracks 5.
和第四部差不多 Pretty similar to 4.
嗯 嗯 Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
哇哦 看来你们这儿不太景气啊 Wow, looks like you guys are getting a head start on the Depression here.
感谢来访 Buchanan先生 Thanks for stopping by, Mr. Buchanan.
没事儿哈 别给别人说我裸体有多难看 Yeah, sure. Don't tell anyone how bad I look naked.
乖乖养我的私生子吧 Have fun raising my bastard.
好了 咱们走吧 All right, let's head out.
等等 我想先试试这个搞笑喇叭是什么样的 Wait, but first I want to see if we're in the funny horn era.
哈哈！搞笑！ Ah-ha! We are!
好吧 Gatsby 你觉得你挺屌？ All right, Gatsby, you think you're so hot?
我来给你秀一秀什么叫高端奢华 Let me show you how a classy guy does classy stuff.
你好 我想点单 来一瓶你们这儿第二贵的香槟 Hello, room service? I'd like a bottle of your second most expensive champagne.
那给我来瓶最贵的好了 And I'd like your most expensive bottle.
哇哦 你还真厉害哈 Wow. Walked right into that one.
好吧 行 那咱们比比谁袜子长 Okay, fine. Well, then let's see who has higher socks.
傻了吧！ Nya-ha!
随便了 Tom 说这些没意思 Whatever, Tom. None of that matters.
Daisy爱的是我 Daisy's in love with me.
事实上 她从没爱过你 In fact, she's never loved you.
噢 这是真的吗？ Oh, is that so?
哼 我听说Gatsby根本没参加一战 Well, I hear Gatsby didn't even fight in World War I.
等等 为什么这样说？ Wait, why is he calling it that?
难道还有一次世界大战？ Is there gonna be another big war?
我很抱歉 Tom I'm sorry, Tom.
是的 我爱上了Daisy 而且她也爱我 老哥 That's right. I'm in love with Daisy, and she loves me, old sport.
谁想来一个几天前 Would anyone like a deviled egg
茶话会剩下的魔鬼蛋？ from a tea I had several days ago?
呃 刚刚真是惨不忍睹 Well, that was awful.
但我确实喜欢开你的车 But I sure do enjoy driving your car instead of you driving it,
虽然之前坐的是另一辆车 even though we came in a different car.
醉驾 别忘了你在醉驾 Drunk. Don't forget drunk.
你在醉驾呢 You're drunk-driving my car.
加油啦 三明治啦！ Gas and sandwiches!
加完油买三明治啦! Get your gas and sandwiches!
噢 肯定是Tom 我见过他开那辆车！ Oh, that must be Tom, since I saw him in that car earlier!
Tom！Tom！是我呀！ Tom! Tom! It's me!
哦 不！ Oh-ho, no!
Myrtle！ Myrtle!
我再也找不到名字比Myrtle还耐听的老婆了 Where will I ever find another woman with a hotter name than Myrtle?
好吧 小池子 快来泡我 All right, pool, do your thing.
- 你宿醉了？ - 呃 是有一点 怎样 -You hungover? -Uh, a little bit, yeah.
好吧 咱们这个故事快结束了 Okay, we're sort of racing to the end here.
既然如此 我就离你远点吧 And with that, I shall step slightly out of range.
好嘞 那我就游个快泳吧 All right, I'm just gonna take a quick swim.
天辣！梯子呢？ Oh, my God! Where are the stairs?
这池子连个梯子都没有！臣妾做不到啊！ There's no stairs! I'm never gonna make it!
你会为那天撞死我老婆 You were standing earlier in the day
付出代价 next to the car that hit my wife.
不久后我回到纽约洗心革面 I would soon return to New York a changed man,
因为 对我而言 那个夏天将永远成为我 because, for me, that will always be the summer
第一次潜水成功的美好回忆 that I finally put my head underwater.
我做到了！我做到了！ I did it! I did it!
嗷 都没人看人家唉 Aw, I wish somebody had seen that.
嗨 又是我 Hi. Me again.
我从那家伙的书房撤了 I'm not in that guy's library anymore.
警察冲进来前 我溜进了阁楼 I snuck up to the attic just before the cops busted in.
他们在下面呢 看 They're down there now. Look.
问题是 我想穿那箱子里的服装 Only problem is, I really want to get to that trunk of costumes in the corner.
不过 我也不想暴露我的位置 On the one hand, I don't want to give away my location.
但是 那里面说不定有个海盗帽呢 On the other hand, there might be a pirate hat.
嗯 没海盗帽 不过难不倒我 Hmm, no pirate hat, but I'll make it work.
啊呜！我是海盗大厨！ Argh! I'm a chef aboard a pirate ship!
谁想来点煎饼？ Now, who be wantin' pancakes?
阁楼上好像有声音 I think I hear something in the attic.
呀 糟啦 在我想对策时 来看看《哈克贝利·芬》吧 Oh, crap. While I figure out my options, here's Huckleberry Finn.
密苏里，1840年
嗨 哈克贝利·芬 Hi, Huckleberry Finn!
嗨 汤姆·索亚 Hi, Tom Sawyer.
你是汤姆 我是哈克 You're Tom, I'm Huck.
大家明白没？ Everybody good? Yep?
好了 接着演吧 All right, let's do this.
哈克贝利·芬 马上给我进屋 Huckleberry Finn, you get inside this house this minute.
大周二早上 该去教堂了 It's Tuesday morning. It's time for church.
嗷 道寡妇 今天我已经去三次教堂了 Aw, Widow Douglas, I already been to church three times today.
人家想呆家玩愤怒的小鸟嘛 I want to stay home and play Angry Birds.
这玩意儿真上瘾 This is addictive.
嗨 我是你渣爹 这罐里的东西我能喝一天 Hey, I'm your abusive dad, and I've been drinkin' all day from this here jug.
老天爷 XXX是毛片的意思吗？ Oh, my God, is that a jug full of porn?
嗨 道寡妇 我要和我爹住 Hey, Widow Douglas, I want to live with my dad!
闭肛！ Shut your hole!
快过来给老子撒点尿 Now come on, I need to use your pee.
我开马车要做药检 I'm taking a wagon test in the morning.
你不该喝这么多的 I wish you wouldn't drink so much.
不许数我喝了几瓶！ Stop countin' my drinks!
过来让爹打屁屁！ Now get over here so I can whip you!
噢！爹呀！别打了！ Ow! Pap! No!
耶 很爽吧 小婊砸 Yeah, that's right, bitch.
现在该你抽我了... Now it's your turn...
天 这比道寡妇家还糟 Geez, this is worse than the Widow Douglas' house.
我得赶紧撤 I got to get out of here.
有主意了 装死就好了 I know. I'll fake my own death.
得弄点血增加真实性 I just need enough blood to make it look real.
你好吗？你是哈克吧 Hey there! You must be Huck.
见到你真好 Great to finally meet you.
希望你喜欢这 I hope you like it here.
我得给你放点血 I'm gonna stab you for your blood.
得了吧！上集我刚在泳池被打死 Oh, come on! I just got shot in the pool in the last one.
忘了为啥要血了 I can't remember why I needed the blood.
天呐 听我说 黑中介说当奴隶 Lord, I'm-a tell ya, being a slave is a much worse job
是个好活 完全不是那回事啊 than the temp agency made it sound.
你要把这负鼠全吃了 You gonna eat all that possum?
当然 我叫哈克·芬 I am. My name's Huck Finn.
你咋称呼？ What's half of your name?
Jim 初次见面 Jim. Nice to meet you.
我是个逃亡奴隶 I'm a runaway slave.
我逃跑是因为别人强迫我穿鞋梳头 I'm runnin' away 'cause people want me to wear shoes and comb my hair.
咱俩同病相怜啊 So I guess we got the exact same problem.
喂 这是啥声音？ Hey, what's that sound?
不会吧！听起来像...瀑布！ Oh, no! It sounds like...a waterfall!
挺住！ Hold on!
我俩死了 We died.
等会儿 咱俩没死？ So wait. We didn't die?
不清楚 反正都是段子 I don't know. It's all just jokes.
- 啊！你看见没？- 啥？ -Ah! Did you see that? -What?
刚才打水漂了六下 I just skipped that rock six times!
千载难逢啊！ That's a once-in- a-lifetime skip!
- 挺好 - 你不相信我 对吧？ -That's nice. -You don't believe me, do ya?
我看咱们呆这太久了 I believe we've been out here a long time,
你肯定是眼花了 and a man's mind begins to play tricks on him.
我眼没花！ It happened for real!
你竟然没看见！ I can't believe you didn't see it!
我当然看见了 Of course I saw it.
真他喵的是个奇迹 Most amazing damn thing I ever did witness.
但我才不给哈克说 因为他说 But I wasn't gonna tell Huck, 'cause he claimed
他没看见我从超远的地方勾手投进了一个苹果核 he didn't see me hook-shot that apple core into the garbage from way far away.
大家好呀 Hello, friends.
热情过度了吧？你们是骗子吗？ Why are you so friendly? You con men?
不 我们是生意人 No, we're businessmen.
我们假装在卖布鲁克林大桥 We're fake-selling the Brooklyn Bridge.
别说“假装” Don't say "fake-selling."
我们真的在卖布鲁克林大桥 We're real-selling the Brooklyn Bridge.
别老拿真假说事儿 Stop qualifying the selling.
我们就是在卖布鲁克林大桥 We're just selling the Brooklyn Bridge.
- 我要买！- 等等 哈克 -I'll buy it. -Hold on, now, Huck.
他们是骗子 These fellas are con men.
滚远点 你们俩瘪三 Push off, you grifters.
滚粗我们的视线 We don't want to ever see you again.
行 走还不行！ Fine, we're going!
这是河好吧 流速不受我们控制 It's a river-- we can't control how fast it goes.
我们就能掌掌舵！ We can barely steer!
抱歉 Sorry.
嗨 我叫你黑鬼儿怎么样？ Hey, what if it's spelled with an A at the end of it?
加个儿可以吧？ Is that okay?
Jim？Jim？ Jim? Jim?
你要找积木的话 啪啪小屋就在那边 If you're looking for a gym, Ye Olde Pump House is that way.
码头上冒绿光那家 你懂的 Can't miss it. Green light on a dock.
汤姆·索亚？你大老远跑这干嘛？ Tom Sawyer? What are you doing so far from home?
Rush乐队：加拿大摇滚乐队
Rush乐队今晚有演出 Rush is playing here tonight.
他们给我写了首歌呢 They wrote a song about me.
嗯 好吧 我在找我的朋友Jim Oh. Well, I'm looking for my friend, Jim.
哈克 好消息 我自由了！ Huck! Great news! I'm free!
是吗？太棒辣！啥时候的事？ You are? That's awesome! When did that happen?
现在我才知道 但这事几百页前就发生了 It's just being revealed now, but it happened hundreds of pages ago.
呃 是吗 真奇怪 Oh. Huh. Weird.
那个 还剩啥没做？ So, uh, what's left to do?
我告诉你还剩啥： I'll tell you what:
Rush演唱会！ Rush concert!
♪ 当代战士渐渐迈步起来 ♪ ♪ A modern-day warrior, mean, mean stride ♪
♪ 当代汤姆·索亚渐渐自豪起来 ♪ ♪ Today's Tom Sawyer, mean, mean pride ♪
嗨 我是马克·吐温 Hey. I'm Mark Twain.
挺棒的书 对吧？ Pretty cool book, huh?
好吧 趁着我被捕进局子的这段时间 Well, while I'm being booked and processed downtown,
还有时间再讲一本美国名著 we have time for one more classic of American literature.
一个傻子滥杀无辜的故事 This one's about idiots choking rodents.
《人鼠之间》：斯坦贝克的中篇
请听《人鼠之间》 I give you Of Mice and Men.
让他保持沉默 Read him his rights.
这样吧 You know what?
我还是不沉默了 I'm like to read 'em myself.
“第一章：吃我大屌吧 蠢猪” "Chapter one: eat my ass, pigs."
啊！鼻梁断啦！ Aah! The bones in my nose!
加利福尼亚，1930年
哇 我记得这曾经全是橘子 Wow. I remember when this used to be all orange groves.
呃 现在也全是橘子 It's, it's currently all orange groves.
George 再说说咱们的理想吧 Tell me again about our dream, George.
好吧 好吧 我们要在乡下开家小旅馆 All right, all right. We're going to open a bed-and-breakfast in the country,
铁人队：匹兹堡橄榄球队
还要告诉客人我们是铁人队的粉丝 and we won't be afraid to let our guests know that we are Steelers fans in this house.
还有兔子呢？ What about the rabbits?
当然 我们也养兔子咯 Yeah, we'll have rabbits, too.
咱们还要在门口竖个牌子 “非铁人队粉丝不得停车” But we'll also have a sign in the front that says, "Steelers fan parking only."
偶尔咱们也假装刁难下顾客 And sometimes we'll give our guests a fake hard time.
喷气机队：纽约橄榄球队
比如喷气机队的粉丝 我们这样 Like if they're Jets fans, we'll be all like,
“好吧 车被拖走可不负责” "Okay, I hope you don't get towed."
不过当然了 我们不会拖他们车的 But obviously, you know, of course, we're not gonna tow 'em.
菲尔普斯牧场
招工
陌生人 你们好呀 Hey there, strangers.
欢迎来到菲尔普斯牧场 Welcome to Phelps Ranch.
大家叫我小瘦 People call me Slim.
他们在黑你呢 Ironically, I assume.
那个 我们在找农活 如果你需要帮手的话 Listen, we're looking for field work, uh, if you need any extra hands.
当然 我三个伙计都被压死了 正好缺人 进来吧 Well, three of our guys did just get squished, so we just might. Come on in.
那么 你们之前做过农活吗？ So, have you done this kind of work before?
收各种庄稼再装进麻布袋？ Have we pulled an object off a plant and placed it in a burlap bag?
当然 我们轻车熟路 Yes, I think we understand the nuances of this profession.
好 好 你怎么样 讲讲你自己吧 Good, good. And how about you? Tell me about yourself.
我喜欢杀女人和小动物 I like to kill animals and then a lady.
我觉得你俩不错 I got a good feeling about you guys.
好吧 活干得挺好 All right, you guys are doing great.
嗯 那个 我的狗下崽了 我想 Hey, listen, my dog just had puppies, and I thought
既然你们这么脏 而且和我也不熟 since you're covered with feces and I barely know you,
我就给你们这个雪白娇嫩的小奶狗吧 I'd give you a delicate, snow-white, newborn puppy.
好吧 别把我塞给那个傻大胖就行 Okay, just don't give me to Dead-Eyes over there,
我刚在前两个故事里被杀了两次 我不想... 'cause I've already been killed twice in the other two stories, and I don't want...
- 小狗狗！- 嗷 法克！ -Puppy! -Aw, (bleep)!
这小狗不管用！ This puppy doesn't work!
- 哎呀呀 - 你们从“哎呀呀”就能看出来 -Well, well, well... -As you can tell by the "well, well, well,"
他是坏人 he's the bad guy.
看来我们雇了几个新人嘛 Looks like we got us some new employees.
对的 Curley 我今早上雇的他们 That's right, Curley, I hired 'em this morning.
哼 让他们滚出去 Well, tell 'em to get out.
这是我练空手道的地方 因为我是个混球 This is where I practice my karate, 'cause I'm a dick.
我听说你喜欢摘果子 I understand you like to pick fruit.
你摘过这么诱人的果子没？ You ever pick something bruised and pear-shaped?
水果核消化不了就得拉出来！ Fruit has seeds you can poo out!
嘿 傻大个 不许看我的骚老婆！ Hey, Hodor, stop coming on to my slutty wife!
镇定 我能从你那只保养很好的 Look, I can tell by the fact that you wear a single,
皮手套看出来 你是个讲理的人 Vaseline-filled leather glove that you're a reasonable man.
咱们还是深呼吸冷静冷静吧 So, let's all take a deep breath and calm down.
才不！看我空手劈！ No! Karate chop!
疼啊！ Damn it!
我把牛仔裤塞进靴子穿！ I tuck my jeans into my boots!
等着瞧 你个蠢大胖 I'll get you, you stupid, giant moron.
虽然时间有点尴尬 但我能提前下班看牙医吗？ Not great timing, I know, but can I leave early for a dentist appointment?
好了 我十点钟回家 So, I should be home by 10:00.
去个叫“小叮当”的钢琴舞吧 It's just this piano-bar-slash-cabaret place called "Tinkles."
Rory介绍给我的 Rory told me about it.
谁是Rory？ Who's Rory?
你忘了吗？ You remember him.
那个让我骑脖子上送我回家的工友？ The field hand who gave me a shoulder ride back to the house?
他就是Rory That was Rory.
不管咋样 听起来挺搞笑的哈 Anyway, it sounds like it's just a hoot.
哇 没准儿你能遇到个好姑娘在这结婚呢 Wow, maybe you'll meet a pretty lady to get married to there.
好吧 呃 有这么一说 Yeah, well, that's the idea.
你走后我能撸吗？ While you're gone, can I touch myself?
呃 再说一遍 这种事别跟我说 Uh, again, you don't have to schedule that with me.
记好 有麻烦的话 我们再镇角的大树下集合 But remember, if there's any trouble, we meet by the big tree on the edge of town.
我的脑袋要爆啦 Everything in my head is screaming.
那好吧 我走啦 All right, then, I am off.
嘿嘿 你好呀 Well, hello there.
这不是性感大傻嘛 If it isn't the sexy imbecile.
哦 嗨 Oh, hi.
很抱歉弄伤你丈夫的手 Sorry about what I did to your husband earlier.
嗯 你手活儿不错嘛 Yes, that was quite a hand job you did on him.
你知道吗 我手活儿也挺好 You know, I'm not so bad at those myself.
老实说吧 我根本听不懂你的双关 I'm not gonna lie to you, you're wasting your double entendres on me.
快来蹂躏我吧 I want you to destroy me.
好呀！ Okay!
Jeepers creepers：《惊心食人族》，恐怖片
♪ 惊心食人族呀 ♪ ♪ Jeepers creepers ♪
♪ 你从哪搞来这么多眼睛 ♪ ♪ Where'd you get those peepers ♪
♪ 惊心食人族呀 ♪ ♪ Jeepers creepers ♪
♪ 你从哪搞来这么多眼睛 ♪ ♪ Where'd you get those eyes ♪
谢谢 谢谢 Thank you, thank you.
噢 我太喜欢这些歌词重复的歌了 Oh, I just love a song that explains what it just said.
好吧 我得去小镇边上的 All right, evidently I have to go to the big tree
大树那一趟了 处理些事情 on the edge of town to take care of something.
不会花太久的 This shouldn't take too long.
把我的歌都留着 Do not take my songs off the list.
抱歉 George 我不是故意杀她的 I'm sorry, George, I didn't mean to kill the girl,
现在整个镇都想吊死我 and now the whole town's gonna hang me by a rope.
噢 我会阻止他们的 Oh, I would never let that happen.
谢谢你 Thanks.
- 再给我讲讲兔子的事儿吧 George - 嗯 没问题 Tell me about the rabbits, George. Yeah, sure thing.
不过在我讲的时候 你还是转过脸数星星吧 But while I do that, why don't you face away from me and count the stars.
好呀 Okay.
嗯 咱们的小旅馆会提供好多死飞车 All right, so the B&B will have a rack of single-gear bikes
人手一辆 当然 先得有那个 for every guest, and yes, next to that, of course,
先要有个超大的兔子窝 is going to be the big, giant rabbit hutch.
永别了 Lennie Buh-bye, Lennie.
孩子们 晚安喽 Goodnight, kids.
希望你们好好写读书报告 Good luck with those book reports.
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