♪ It seems today that all you see ♪
♪ Is violence in movies and sex on TV ♪
♪ But where are those good old-fashioned values ♪
♪ On which we used to rely? ♪
♪ Lucky there's a family guy ♪
♪ Lucky there's a man who positively can do ♪
♪ All the things that make us ♪
♪ Laugh and cry ♪
♪ He's... a... Fam... ily... Guy! ♪
♪ Family Guy 13x12 ♪Stewie Is Enceinte Stewie怀孕
1951年电视剧I Love Lucy中某集标题Lucy Is Enceinte 因为当时播送要求审查 怀孕"pregnant"被改为西班牙语"enceinte"
翻译：wloverp 注释&校对：螃蟹阿雪 压制: @familyguy贴吧字幕组
我们现在回到顶级大厨:兔八哥版 We now return to Top Chef:Looney Tunes Edition.
顶级大厨2006年起的美国真人秀节目
好 Fudd大厨 对于你这周的表现我略失望 Okay, Chef Fudd, I was a little disappointed in you this week.
兔八哥中有点呆的猎人
你的菜就是只以为自己 Your dish was just a live rabbit
在洗浴的活兔 who thought he was taking a bath.
但我用了萝卜和芹菜 But I used carrots and celery.
是 我看到那兔用芹菜杆搓背了 Yes. I saw he was scrubbing his back with a long celery stalk.
但是 Sylvester大厨 Chef Sylvester,on the other hand,
我很高兴地说你"煎熬の青玉米利马豆" I'm happy to say your sufferin' succotash
sufferin' succotash是Sylvester的口头禅
十分的美味 was absolutely delicious.
谢谢 Thanks.
你好? Hello?
哦 嗨 Bonnie Oh, hi, Bonnie.
不 我啥也没做 No, I'm not doing anything.
就和婴儿坐着呢 Just sitting here with the baby.
是 你也玩蛋去吧 Yeah, screw you, too.
哦 嘿 Bri 嘿 你想出去 Oh, hey, Bri.Hey, you want to go out
买无谷蛋白的披萨吗? and get some gluten-free pizza?
我现在吃无谷蛋白 但 你知道 I'm gluten-free now.But, you know,
我不会用这烦人的 I'm not gonna be annoying about it.
太迟了 Too late.
哦 我们应该一起吃无谷蛋白的! Oh, we should be gluten-free together!
我们同去全食品那没人逛 Let's go to Whole Foods and buy a bunch of stuff
Whole foods美国健康食品店
的诡异走廊买一堆吧 from that weird aisle nobody else goes down.
我不行 我有事 回见吧 I can't. I got plans.I'll see you later.
哦 好 或许下次吧 Oh, sure.Maybe another time.
呃 我没那么绝望 对吧? Ugh. I didn't seem too desperate, right?
别回答 只是最近Brian十分疏远 Don't answer. It's just that Brian's been so distant lately,
我们曾经形影不离--就像Jack和Jill and we used to be inseparable--like Jack and Jill.
英美国家，Jack and Jill是一首脍炙人口的儿歌
哦 后来Jack拿着那两桶水 Oh, so then Jack takes these two pails of water
绊倒摔下山了 and trips and totally falls down the hill.
是 嘿 我也有个好笑的故事 Yeah. Hey,I got a funny story.
Jill掉了颗牙 然后她吞了 Jill had a tooth fall out,and she swallowed it,
然后她得去她粪便里找它 and then we had to root through her feces to find it.
我们找到了 之后我们带它去找牙医 And we did. And then we took it to the dentist,
他又把它安回去了 and he put it back in her mouth.
所以我想我们俩都笨拙 对吧? So I guess we're both klutzes, huh?
你为啥不再讲个故事 屎-牙? Why don't you spin another tale, crap-tooth?
不是吧?又到我了? No? My turn again?
好吧 Jill无法生育. Okay. Jill's barren.
下午好 我是Tom Tucker Good afternoon.I'm Tom Tucker.
悲痛的新闻 今早 38学龄孩子淹死 Some sad news this morning as 38 schoolchildren drowned
当他们-- when their--
抱歉--当他们的校车撞上冰块 excuse me-- when their school bus hit a patch of ice
然后掉下一个本-- and drove off a loc--
我今天怎么了?-- what is wrong with me today?--
掉下了一个本地桥 and drove off a local bridge.
现在本周"病毒"(流行)视频 And now the viral video of the week,
7百万点击 with over seven million views.
送给那些喜爱"尖叫的羊"的人 For those of you who loved "Screaming Sheep,"
我们带来"歌剧企鹅" we've got "Opera Penguin."
(走调男高音) ♪ La, ah, ah, ah. ♪
这...这就完了? Is... is that it?
他还要再来一次吗?没了? Is he gonna do it again? No?
好吧 那么现在只播送企鹅日常 Okay, so just normal penguin stuff now.
好 镜头切回我 Okay, cut back to me.
呃 你-你切不了?按钮坏了? Uh, y-you can't? The button broke off?
好 好吧 一个美国护舰 All right, well, a U.S. convoy
今早在喀布尔被埋伏 所以现在 was ambushed in Kabul this morning, so now
我们来默哀纪念... we're going to have a moment of silence in remembrance...
哦 他真的又唱了 Oh, he does do it again.
这可能是我看过的最爱的视频 That could be my favorite thing I ever seen.
什么是企鹅? 是某种虫子? What is a penguin? Is it some kind of bug?
啥?你认真的?所以是虫子? What? You serious?So it is a bug?
嘿 你知道 那是我们该做的 Hey, you know, that's what we ought to do.
我们应该制作病毒视频 We ought to make a viral video.
好耶!棒呆!我们做吧! All right! Awesome!Let's do it!
哦 等下 我不知道你是不也可加入 Joe Oh, wait, I don't know if you're gonna be in it, Joe.
我想 我们录制时 I thought, while we filmed,
我们需要把杂物都放你大腿上 we'd just keep all of our stuff on your lap.
你搞毛啊? What the hell are you doing?
我见过一个恐怖男孩做这个 我想我要试试的 I saw a scary boy doing this,and I thought I'd try it.
好吧 玩得开心 All right, have fun.
我晚了 晚了? I'm late.Late?
但我想你和我可以去 But I thought you and I could hang out
也许看Lois嘘Peter and maybe watch Lois shush Peter
当他们看音乐之乡 while they watch Nashville.
Nashville美国电视剧音乐之乡
也许下次吧, Stewie. Maybe another time, Stewie.
他又这样. There he goes again.
他最近好冷淡. He's being so standoffish.
我不理解. I don't understand.
我们以前那么快乐. Oh, we used to be that happy.
等一下, Joe 和 Bonnie Wait a minute--Joe and Bonnie
以前从不在一起玩耍 never used to spend time together
直到他们有了Susie. until they had Susie.
看上去有个孩子让他们更亲近了. Having a baby seems to have made them closer.
孩子拯救感情关系! Babies save relationships!
哦,看, 你在飞! Oh, look at you--you're flyin'!
ok, 谢谢,Bonnie. Okay, thanks, Bonnie.
下次我要骑自行车. Next I want to ride a bike.
这就是了, Rupert! 这就是Brian和我如何 That's it, Rupert! That's how Brian and I
增进感情的办法了! are going to improve our relationship.
我们要生孩子! We're going to have a baby!
我觉得, 这是我自从抢了 I say, this is my best idea
Joseph A. Bank西服店以来的最棒的主意了 since I robbed a Joseph A. Bank.
美国西服中档品牌 常年促销
三件西服才99圆? Three suits for 99 bucks?!
送我去坐牢吧! Take me to jail!
好, 我要今晚完美. All right, I want tonight to be perfect.
我要展示给Brian看 I'm gonna lay it all out for Brian
为什么我们要一起生孩子. why we should have a baby together.
我不知道, 我还没有想过. I don't know, I haven't even thought about that.
你为何对切包皮如此着迷? Why are you so obsessed with circumcision?
哦 嘿 看 你搞了个小晚餐会 Oh, hey, look, you made a little dinner party.
嗨Rupert 他不加入我们 Hi, Rupert. He won't be joining us.
起来！ Get up!
请坐 Please, sit.
你 呃...你好吗？ You, uh... you okay?
我很好 你真体贴 I'm terrific. And that is so sweet of you to ask.
你真真是天生体贴的人，对吧? You really are a natural caregiver, aren't you?
你能不回短信吗？ Do you mind not texting?
抱歉， 马上就好。 Sorry, sorry. Just finishing right now.
马上。 Almost done.
好了， 搞定。 There, all finished
就。。。 riiiight...
好了。 now.
好了。 Thhhhere.
多谢。 我想和你说。。。。。 Thanks. So, I wanted to talk to you about...
你就把手机放桌上？ A-Are you just gonna leave it on the table?
我不会看的。 I-I won't look at it.
棒极。 我想， 你在看手机。 (phone buzzes) Great. So, I wanted to...You're looking at it.
抱歉， 工作的事， 不是工作。 Sorry. Work. It's not work.
一会就好。 我通常不这样， It'll just take a second. I-I normally wouldn't do this,
不过我已经开始短信了， but I was already kind of in the middle of something,
我要快速回复， and I just need to quickly respond,
我好了 and there I am
好了 finiiished.
哈哈，就是了 (chuckles) Ah, yeah.
好， 就再写几个字。。。。。 Okay, just a few more worrrds...
然后 annnd...
好了。 d-done.
抱歉。 ok.... Sorry. Okay, so...
不， 不， 我不管它了。 (phone buzzes) Nah, nah, I'm not gonna get it.
那我们也许可以把手机拿下桌子。 Then maybe we can take it off the table.
不用， 继续说。 No, no, just keep going.
我想我们该谈谈 I was thinking, we should talk
谈谈生个... (phone buzzes) about having a...
看你短信， 我不爽。 This isn't fun for me, watching you text.
不不 这很棒 嗯 嗯 好吃 No, no, this is great. Mm, mm, mm. Yum.
我得走了 有约会。 But I-I got to go. I have a date.
这很严重了Rupert 我失去他了 This is serious, Rupert. I'm losing him.
如果我们要拯救这段感情， If we're going to fix this relationship,
我们需要孩子而且是马上 we need a baby and we need it now.
我要取一些他的DNA, I'm just going to take a little bit of his DNA,
马上我们就会是骄傲的父母，就像朗·里维斯顿的父母。 and soon we'll be proud parents,like Ron Livingston's parents.
《上班一条虫》中出演男主角
你知道吗，我们的儿子是个名演员。 You know, our son's a famous actor.
是吗？ 他叫什么？ Really? What's his name?
他是... he's, uh...
他是 就是那个《上班一条虫》中的男主角 he was, like, the main guy in Office Space.
是 还有啥? Yeah. What else?
他黑发 Uh... he has dark hair...
不知道，他在《黑鹰坠落》电影里吗？ I don't know, was he in Black Hawk Down?
2001年战争电影
他大概至少出演了五集都市的性. Uh, he was in, like, at least five Sex "in" the Citys.
美剧 sex and city欲望都市
他名字叫什么？叫什么? (groans) What is his name? What is his name?
你儿子是朗·里维斯顿？ Is your son Ron Livingston?
对！上帝！多谢！ Yes! Oh, God! Thank God!
朗·里维斯顿！谢谢！ Ron Livingston! Thank you!
这烦了我一天了。 That has been bugging me all day.
好 我们想想 网络病毒视频 Okay, let's see. Now, what are the ingredients
有些什么原料？ to a viral Internet video?
猫 是 猫 赞 Cats. Yes, cats. Good.
人们看到恶心东西的反应 Uh, uh, people reactingto watching gross stuff.
是的 他们是这样的 “啊, 好恶心！ Oh, yeah, 'cause they're like, "Rah! That's gross!
我能要个苏打水吗? 什么？ 不行。 Can I get a soda? What? No.
这算是要苏打水的最差时机。 Th-This is, like, the worst time to ask for a soda.
难以置信。 Unbelievable.
你猜怎样 我们就该出去直接拍。 You know what, we should just go out and start filming.
因为我想我们定会让大家吃惊的 'Cause I think we're really gonna surprise everyone.
就象巴斯特·基顿在他第一部有声电影里干的一样。 Like Buster Keaton did in his first talking picture.
美国默片时代演员及导演，以“冷面笑匠”著称，主要作品有《福尔摩斯二世》和《将军》
来了。 Here we go.
我走过场景 然后狠狠关门。 I'm moving through the scene and I slam the door.
不！我关得太狠了， Oh, no! I slammed it too hard,
房子要压到我了。 and the house is gonna squash me!
还好窗在那里。 Oh, it turned out that window was there.
停顿，让大家笑，吃惊 Pause for laugh and amazement.
好， Rupert, All right, Rupert,
受孕机器完成了。 the fertilization device is complete.
这机器会让我怀上令我和Brian This will impregnate me with the child
重归旧好的孩子！ that will bring Brian and me back together!
首先 我加入Brian的头发和口水 First, I add Brian's hair and saliva,
然后一些幼儿园的申请文件 and some preschool applications,
因为我们已经晚了。 because we are already way behind.
行了 现在我只需要进入机器 There. Now I just have to get into the machine,
然后机器会对我做该做的 and then the machine does whatever it has to do to me
让我怀孕 in order to successfully impregnate me.
我们不要鄙视机器 我们不要鄙视Stewie We do not judge the machine.We do not judge Stewie.
再见， 好身材。 (groans) Good-bye, body.
你要看着我怀上。 You're gonna watch me get pregnant.
我要在怀上的时候看着你。 I want to look at you when it happens.
对了，看着我，贱人 Yeah, you watch me,bitch.
早上好，Brian. Good morning, Brian.
什么味道？ (sniffing) What is that?
我闻到尿味 是的，Brian. I smell pee.Yes, you do, Brian.
天 那东西阳性了! Oh, my God, that thing's positive!
Lois又怀孕了?不是 Is Lois pregnant again?No...
Meg怀了? Meg is pregnant?
接近了。 You're getting warmer.
你干了什么？ Wha... What have you done?
我想你是指我们干了什么？ I think you mean,what have we done?
什么？！ What?!
Brian...我们怀上了！ Brian... we're pregnant!
天! 然后１８年后 Oh, my God!(crying): And in 18 years,
孩子就要搬走了！ he's going to move away!
你怀了我们的孩子？ You're pregnant with our baby?!
怎么可能？！ How could this even happen?!
简单 我取了你的DNA然后通过我的 Simple. I took your DNA and inserted it
受孕机射入我的临时子宫 into my temporary uterusthrough my fertilization device.
天 你是认真的！ Oh, my God,you're serious!
人们会认为我和一个男婴啪啪啪 People are gonna think I had sex with a male baby
而且使他怀孕了！ and then got him pregnant!
感谢你找到办法让这听上去如此可怕 Oh, thank you for finding a way to make it sound horrible.
我们不能有孩子，Stewie! We can't have a baby, Stewie!
因为钱的问题?我有储蓄。 Is this about money? Because I have a bit saved.
我们可以用我的旧摇篮。 We could even use my old crib.
你自己在用你的旧摇篮！好吧。 You use your old crib!Oh, right.
Stewie, 你要拿掉孩子 Stewie, you have to get rid of it.
拿掉 你为什么不直说？ "Get rid of it"? You know,why don't you just say it?
说出来，Brian. Say the word, Brian.
我要听你说。流产！流产！ I want to hear you say it.Abortion! Abortion!
你应该现在就去做人流！ You need to get a big fat abortion right this second!
你甚至都说不出口。 You can't even say it.
我想我要吐了。 I think I'm gonna throw up.
省省低级的表演。 Oh, save the cheap theatrics.
这不是你那烂透的短小说。 This isn't one of your crappy short stories.
这是真正的生活 先生 像个男人样！ This is real life,mister, so man up!
你要去人流，Stewie. You are getting an abortion, Stewie.
我不去!我们的孩子正在我体内成长！ I will not! Our child is growing inside me!
别这样说！ Stop talking like that!
而且你怎么知道是我的? A-And how do you even know it's mine?
你好大胆！ How dare you!
我现在成贱货了？ So I'm just some slut?!
这贱货怀了你孩子！ Well, this slut is having your baby!
你到底为什么要这么做? Why would you even do this?
我觉得你会高兴 I thought you'd be happy.
我说 你有种种好品质 I mean, you have all these amazing qualities,
而我长得好看 and I'm kind of good-looking.
我意思是 我不是模特 但... I mean,I'm no model, but...
嗯 不是走台模特 Well, certainly not a runway model.
我更像是广告模特 大概 I'd-I'd be more catalogue, probably.
你猜怎样?为什么不能是走台模特? You know what? Why not a runway model?
为什么不?我为什么老是为我 Why not? Why am I always apologizing
长这么好看道歉?我受够了 for how good-looking I am? I'm sick of it.
我可以去巴黎做模特 我们可以带上我们的孩子 I can model in Paris.We could take the baby with us.
我们可以成为那样的家庭 你觉得怎么样? We could be that kind of family.What do you think?
它死了吗? (thump)(grunts) Is it dead?
你打我！ You hit me!
什么样的禽兽会打怀孕的婴孩！ What kind of monster hits a pregnant toddler!
如果你再碰我一个指头 我把你烧死在你床上。 If you ever lay a finger on me again,I'll burn you in your bed.
电视电影The Burning Bed中被家暴的主妇把熟睡的丈夫烧死在床上
你现在就烧 行吗? Could... could you do that now, please?
好了，Peter, 准备好相机。 All right, Peter,get the camera ready.
我有一个病毒视频。 I got a viral Internet video
会直接上排行榜首。 that's gonna go straight to the top of the charts.
hi，我是Joe Swanson, Hi, I'm Joe Swanson,
下面是３０秒内的３０个模仿表演 and this is 30 impressions in 30 seconds.
给我钱 (with same voice):"Show me the money."
甜心先生台词
别淘气 "Oh, behave."
王牌大贱谍台词
早安越南 "Good morning, Vietnam."
早安越南台词
等着 让他们瞧瞧我的厉害（等着，他们让我射一炮）小丑说 "Wait until they get a load of me," said the Joker.
蝙蝠侠台词
有些话我是改述的 Some of these I'm paraphrasing.
嘿 我要你带我去医院拿 Hey, I need you to take me to the doctor
我的产前维生素 for my prenatalvitamins.
我哪也不带你去 I'm not taking you anywhere.
天，你怀多久了？ Geez, how far along are you?
我也不确定，两天或六月... I'm not really sure.Two days, six months...
可能要猜一会了 there's a certain amount of guesswork involved in this.
还有 在我怀孕期间 我要你 Oh, and while I'm pregnant,I'm going to need you
换猫沙 我们没有猫 to change the cat litter.We don't have a cat.
猫沙恐有猫携带的寄生虫对孕妇有害
请别在这上和我作对 Ugh. Please don't fight me on this.
背疼死我了 Oh, my back is killing me.
我还有孕期... and I've also been experiencing a little...
晨吐 morning sickness.
为了孩子 为了孩子 It's for the baby,it's for the baby.
你这样看上去可笑极了 You look ridiculous like that.
比不上你让我怀孕可笑 Not too ridiculous for you to put a baby in me.
好了 Raylene 我是Hartman医生。 Okay, Raylene,I'm Dr. Hartman.
我们开始前 我要你们知道 Now, before we begin,I want you to know
记录刚被打破 the record is just past my watch.
记录打破需要两个人 (high-pitched): Well, it takes two people to break a record.
你看上去太年幼了 你多大？ You look a little young.How old are you?
１３？１４？ Uh, 13? 14?
１５，不过他没强迫我。 15. B-But he didn't force himself on me.
我也想要的 I wanted it, too.
那是最重要的。 Well, that's the important thing.
奇怪 That's odd.
你的阴道有一鸡鸡和两蛋蛋 Your vagina seems to have a penis and two testicles.
对了 我... Oh, right. I, uh...
打喷嚏太用力了，都出来了。 sneezed real hard and all that came out.
那就对了 Ah, that explains it.
你能做那种从我体内抽点液， Could you do that thing where you take some fluid
告诉我孩子会不会是白痴或低能？ and tell me if it's going to be an imbecile or a cretin?
别担心，有地方 Oh, not to worry,there are places
安置那些人。 where those people can be warehoused.
不过仅仅从看上去来说， But from strictly eyeballing you,
我说一切正常。 I'd say everything looks fine.
太棒了 Oh, that's wonderful.
好了，Brian，你有什么要问医生的吗？ Now, Brian, did you have any questions for the doctor?
这楼有很长的楼梯吗？ Yeah. Are there a lot of stairs in this building?
天，我们需要这么多东西。 God, we need so much stuff.
看看这些衣服多小，多可爱。 Look at how tiny all these clothes are. It's so adorable.
我意思是，多小的脚能穿这鞋？ I mean, what kind of feet can fit into these shoes?
你的脚！ Your feet!
讲很多遍了，你知道吗 That's getting old, you know.
你最好合作 You better get on board with this.
你怀多久了？ Aw, how far along are you?
８月，你看上去气色不错。 Eight months.You look amazing.
我问你，你失禁吗？我总失禁 Let me ask you, are you leaking?Because I've been leaking.
你多大？ How old are you?
你多大？你像４０的， How old are you?You look like you're 40,
这意味着你怀的100%是脑残 which means whatever you've got in there is 100% brain-damaged.
够了，祝你愉快。 All right,you have a good day.
我恨那娘们。 I hated that lady.
我喜欢这些姿势，看着不错，很经典。 I like these.These are good. Very classy.
总感觉不对 This feels incredibly wrong.
我们需要这些，相信我，Brian. Oh, we're going to want these,Brian, believe me.
你看不见我乳头，对吧? You can't see my nipples, can you?
它们变很大， They're getting really large,
而且我不知道我是不是把它们全遮住了。 and I'm not sure if I'm completely covering them.
你猜怎样? 看见就看见了 Eh, you know what?We'll see what we see.
我们拍一些候选 Let's get a few candids.
爸爸，头放在肚子上来一张？ Dad, can I get one of your head on the belly?
呕，爸爸，我要激动了。 Oh, "Dad."I just got emotional.
怀我的孩子。 ♪ Having my baby ♪
Paul Anka的Having My Baby
我是恋爱中的女人 ♪ I'm a woman in love ♪
我享受现在的爱 ♪ And I love what's goin' through me ♪
怀我的孩子 ♪ Having my baby ♪
这是另一种说我爱你的方式 ♪ It's another way of sayin' how much I love you ♪
我爱你 ♪ I love you ♪
怀我的孩子 ♪ Having my baby ♪
好了，现在大家超爱 Okay, now people really love that viral video
动物园猴子强暴青蛙那病毒视频 of a monkey forcin' that sex act on a frog at the zoo.
所以我们可以另找只青蛙拍类似的。 So maybe we can find another frog for somethin' like that.
你说那只？谁？ You mean like that frog? Who?
穿超短裙的那青蛙 That frog in the miniskirt
在音乐机里放了个２５美分。 putting a quarter in the jukebox.
射透心 ♪ Shot through the heart ♪
Bon Jovi的You Give Love a Bad Name
怪你 ♪ And you're to blame ♪
模仿电影暴劫梨花 朱迪福斯特饰演的女主在酒吧起舞 男性们被吸引并强暴了她 其余只是围观起哄
你给爱情抹黑了 ♪ You give love a bad name ♪♪ Bad name ♪
我尽力了♪ I play my part ♪
♪你欲擒故纵♪ 开录 ♪ And you play your game ♪Bingo.
你给爱情抹黑 ♪ You give love a bad name ♪♪ Bad name ♪
你给爱。。。。 ♪ You give love... ♪
我担心那青蛙不知自己处在多大危险中。 I'm concerned that frog's in more trouble than she realizes.
我渴望汉堡包。 I'm having such a craving for burgers.
好像我的身体需要红肉 It's like my body is just craving red meat.
和薄荷片冰激凌 只要薄荷片味 And mint chip ice cream.But only mint chip.
其他冰激凌让我想吐 Any other ice cream makes me want to puke.
是不是很怪？是的，Stewie, Isn't that weird?Yes, Stewie,
整件事的怪事之一 that's the one weird thing in all this.
你看什么？按你的按钮。 What are you looking at?Go push your buttons.
我老公会揍你的。 My husband'll kick your ass.
别说我是你老公。 Stop saying I'm your husband.
Brian,我要你送我去医院。 (moans) Brian, I need you to take me to the hospital.
为什么？ Why?
我羊水破了。天！ My water just broke.Oh, my God!
没事，别怕，叫助产员。 doulaIt's okay. Don't panic.Call the doula.
Brian,你一定要叫助产员！ Brian, you've got to call the doula!
助产员？我都不知道是什么？ Doula? I-I don't even know what that is!
是知道女人生殖器的离婚女人 It's a divorced woman who knows about lady parts
并会鼓励你，走吧。 and cheers you on.Let's go!
你得开快点！ (moaning) You're gonna have to drive a little faster!
我已超速。 I'm already going over the speed limit.
太迟了，停路边，孩子要出来了！ Too late! Pull over!It's starting to come out!
从哪里？我不确定。 Of where?I'm not sure exactly.
Brian,我要你接生。 Brian, I'm going to need you to deliver the baby.
好，你能等一下，我铺块毛巾？ Uh, uh, o-okay, c-can you wait a second while I put a towel down?
我不要弄脏座椅。 I don't want anything to get on the seats.
哦 当然了 Oh, no, of course.
头等大事是保持化纤座椅干净 Our first priority should be to keep the vinyl clean.
天，天呢，要出来了。 Oh, God. Oh, God,it's coming! Oh...
你能看见头吗？ Can you see the head?
我不知道看哪里！ I don't know where to look!
也许你要看我身体里 Well, maybe you should look at the part of me
有孩子出来的那部分！ where there's a baby coming out!
Muphy Brown是怎么做到看上去很轻松的？ How did Murphy Brown make this look so easy?!
Murphy Brown美国喜剧演员
小心，别滴在... Careful, don't get anything on the...
椅子上 ...seats.
天，我觉得还要生！ STEWIE: Oh, God,I think another one's coming!
我没看见！ BRIAN: I don't see it!
我想是从我嘴里出来！ STEWIE: I think it's coming out of my mouth!
还有更多！ There's more!
他们从各个地方出来！ And they're coming out of everywhere!
杀了我，太痛了！ Ah! Kill me!This hurts too much!
操，发生了什么？ BRIAN: Holy (bleep)!What is happening?!
我不知道，Brian，留下胎盘。 STEWIE: I don't know!Brian, save the placenta.
你到底有没有胎盘？ BRIAN:Do you even have a placenta?
不管什么出来 都留下 我要吃掉 STEWIE: Well, whatever comes out, save it. I want to eat it.
天，他们都爬我身上了！ BRIAN: Oh, God,they're crawling all over me!
有几个？ STEWIE:How many are there now?
４，５，６，７。 BRIAN:Four, five, six, seven.
棒！ Mazel tov!
我刚放Jack和Rose午睡了。 I just put Jack and Rose down for their nap.
泰坦尼克号 两主角名字杰克 罗斯
我试着把那些更可爱的留在这区域 And I'm trying to keep the more attractive ones in this area.
真是恶梦 This is a nightmare.
我逮着两个要互相吃掉 Oh, I caught two of them trying to eat each other,
所以，那是我们要留心的 so that's something we need to watch out for.
看看，Brian,这个真像你。 Look, Bri, that one looks just like you.
确实。 Huh. Well, you know what?I guess he does.
你知道吗，我真觉得这是你的 You know, I was actually thinking,
弥补过去的机会。 this could be a chance for you to finally make things right.
什么意思？ What? What do you mean?
你是有一个儿子，你从来不在他身边。 Well, you do have a son that you were never there for.
指Dylan 详见S06E11 S12E11
这是你改变的机会。 This is your opportunity to do things differently.
也许你是对的。 Wow. Maybe you're right.
我想我会试试。 I suppose I could give it a try.
对了。 There you go.
迪克(鸡鸡)确实喜欢你。 Aw, Dick really likes you.
我喜欢迪克(鸡鸡) I like Dick.
你喜欢鸡鸡！ You like Dick!
他不叫鸡鸡，你傻瓜，这是Finn. His name's not Dick,you idiot. It's Finn.
好，我们查查我们的油管频道 All right, let's check our YouTube channel
看看我们表现如何。 and see how we're doing.
他们就是和Cleveland过不去 对吧？ Boy, they just went right after Cleveland, didn't they?
天 字全大写看上去更狠毒。 Geez, that word looks even harsher when it's in all caps.
看来大家确实恨我们传的所有东西 Wow, people really seem to hate everything we put on here.
太逊了 我非常努力 That sucks.And I worked really hard
这一年里每天自拍一张 on taking a picture of myself every day for a year
然后配上情感丰富的歌 and then setting the photos to an emotional song.
看 Look.
嘿黛丽拉你好吗？你在纽约过得怎么样 ♪ Hey there, Delilah, what's it like in New York City? ♪
Plain White T's的Hey There Delilah
我在千里之外 ♪ I'm a thousand miles away ♪
不过姑娘今晚你看起来可真美 ♪ But, girl, tonight you look so pretty ♪
真的 ♪ Yes, you do ♪
时代广场也比不上你的明媚 ♪ Times Square can't shine as bright as you ♪
蓝色男孩模仿恐怖电影 咒怨
我发誓这是真的 ♪ I swear it's true ♪
是的，我们在考虑卖房子。 Yeah, so we're, uh, thinking about selling the house.
别在那乱扭 Hey, stop squirming in there.
这个骨头有点松了。 This one's bones all feel loose.
我想这个瞎了。 And I think that one is blind.
我们得给他买小太阳镜 We'll have to get him little sunglasses.
太棒了 因为这个狗头／人耳 Great, because dog-head/human-ears over here
对于我讲的都没有反应 doesn't react to anything I say.
嘿 嘿 你！ Hey! Hey, you!
好，那个是聋子。 Okay, this one is deaf.
我们得付很贵的学费了。 We are going to be spending a fortune on schools.
我们怎么支付学费？你告诉我呀 How are we gonna pay for that?Well, you tell me.
是你坚持让我做居家妈妈的 You're the one who insisted I be a stay-at-home mom.
我甚至没有工作 I don't even have a job.
你最好找一个 Well, you better get one.
而且不是写作，是真的工作。 And not "writing." A real job.
你为什么这么坏？ Why are you being such a jerk?
不知道 抱歉 我只是... I don't know.I'm sorry. I just...
我只是觉得把事情计划上 I just feel like once I get them on a schedule,
一切都会好的 everything will be fine.
我不敢相信我们做不出个病毒视频 I can't believe we couldn't come up with a viral video.
我们应该让Jimmy Fallon来做些丑事。 We should've just gotten Jimmy Fallon to do any lame thing.
Jimmy Fallon美国脱口秀主持
马上播出，一个在中餐馆的白人招待？ Coming up, a white waiter at a Chinese restaurant?
我们会给出这个奇怪故事的事实。 We'll get you the facts on this bizarre story.
不过首先，这周的病毒视频 But first,this week's viral video,
胖崽被赶着过马路 "Fat Kid Hustles Through Crosswalk."
来了 落在后面的就是小胖墩 Here it is. Here's little Chubbo pulling up the rear.
他得快走了 Oh, he's got to get moving now.
对 别让你的巧克力浓度降太低 That's right. Don't let your chocolate levels get too low.
不敢相信，Chris穿穿马路 I can't believe Chris gets four million hits
就搞到４百万点击 just crossing the street.
我觉得我们努力过头了 I guess we were trying too hard.
嘿 我那天路过你家， Hey, I went by your house the other day.
你家婴儿怀孕了? Is your baby pregnant?
不知道，Lois负责孩子们 I don't know. Lois is in charge of the kids.
Stewie 这太糟了 Stewie, this is awful.
我不知道为什么有人要当父母 I don't know why anyone would want to be a parent,
特别是４个孩子的父母 especially to four children.
４？我以为我们减到５个了 Four? I thought we were down to five.
是，那个聋的没有听到Joe的割草机 Yeah, the deaf one didn't hear Joe's lawnmower.
哦 太难过了 Oh. That's really upsetting.
我受不了了，Stewie。 I-I can't take this anymore, Stewie.
抱歉，我要离开这里。 I-I'm sorry. I got to get out of here.
什么？你要去哪？ What? Where are you going?
停下! Stop doing that!
我需要喘口气，好吧? I need a break,all right?
我 我只需要离开几个礼拜。 I-I j... I just got to get away for a couple weeks.
几个礼拜？ A couple weeks?
你不能把我独自留下面对这些事 Y-You're not leaving me alone with these things.
做这一切都是为了我们能有更多共处时间 The whole point of this was for us to spend more time together.
等等，你说什么？这一切的意义？ Wait, what are you talking about? The whole point of what?
你最近如此疏远 Well, you've been so distant lately.
我想如果我们有个孩子 我们会更亲近。 I thought if we had a baby it would bring us closer together.
什么？我变得疏远是因为 What? I was only distant
你最近很情绪化。 because you've been so moody lately.
我以为你要更多个人空间。 I thought you needed more space.
我一直愿和你一起玩 I always want to hang out with you.
我情绪化是因为你很疏远！ Well, I was only moody because you were so distant!
我也一直愿和你在一起玩的。 I always want to hang out with you, too!
天 Oh, my God.
所以，我们没必要做这些。 So we didn't have to do any of this.
我觉得是。 I-I guess not.
你有多留恋他们？ How attached to them are you?
一点都不。是的，我也不。 Not at all.Yeah, me either.
这才是最好。 This is for the best.
是呀，我肯定他们会被收养。 Yeah, I mean, I'm sure they'll be adopted.
上帝，当然。 Oh, God, yeah.
我扔留着迎婴聚会的所有礼物 I'm still keeping all the gifts from the baby shower.
你搞过迎婴聚会？ You had a baby shower?
喔！ Oh!
这才像真的！ Now this makes it real!
天，你吃了够多的蛋糕了，Mary Beth. Oh, my goodness. That's enough cake for you, Mary Beth.
Marybeth Tinning美国著名的杀死自己孩子的凶手。