"It seems today that all you see
"is violence in movies and sex on TV
"But where are those good, old-fashioned values
"on which we used to rely?
"Lucky there's a family guy
"Lucky there's a man who'll positively tell you
G "all the things that make us
"laugh 'n'cry
"He's a family guy"
Family Guy 02x02 Holy.Crap 额的个神呐
Family Guy 02x02 Holy Crap 额的个神呐
翻译&注释：D校对&压制：wudixny@familyguy!贴吧字幕组 更多精彩剧集请关注我们的贴吧或新浪微博搜索familyguy即可
我有个坏消息 Lipstein夫人 这是个恶性肿瘤 Mrs.Lipstein,I have bad news.The tumor is malignant.
我恐怕你只能活六个月了 I'm afraid you only have six months to live.
不是吧 Oh,my God!
喝牛奶了没 Got milk?
听着各位 你们的爷爷终于要退休了 Listen up,everybody.Your Grandpa Griffin is finally retiring.
爷爷？ Grandpa Griffin?
就那个身上一股柴火味耳朵里还有浓密银耳毛的人？ Is he the one that smells like firewood and has big gray pussywillows in his ears?
Chris 那是个不好的词"娘炮” Chris,that's a terrible word."Pussywillows."
我爸爸在那工厂工作了60年那将近80年了啊 My dad worked at that mill for 60 years. That's almost 80 years.
明天我们都要去出席给他致敬的晚宴 Tomorrow we'll all'go to a big dinner to honor him.
为什么？我们对他又不熟 Why?We barely know him.
Dan是啊 他怎么从没来看过我们 Yeah.How come he never visits us?
孩子 你们爷爷不太能接受 Kids,your grandfather has never been comfortable with the fact...
我不是天主教徒 ..that I'm not Catholic.
[新婚]
爸爸爱我们每个人他只是工作太忙来不了 Dad loves all of us.He's just too busy working to show it.
从我是个孩子的时候就那样了 He's been that way since I was a kid.
现在宣布父子双人三腿赛跑的获胜者 And now the winners of the father-son three-legged race.
第一名Bobby Hammill和他的爸爸 第二名Jimmy Lawson和他的爸爸 First place,Bobby Hammill and his dad.Second place,Jimmy Lawson and his dad.
第三名Peter Griffin和一株玉米 Third place,Peter Griffin and a stalk of corn.
现在他要退休了我们终于有时间在一起了 Now that he's retiring,we can finally spend some time together.
我要我们像电视里的父子那样 I want us to have one of those father-son moments,like on TV.
我们一拥抱音乐就会一 Where we hug and the music goes...
Sherry G就是那样 Thanks,boys.Just like that.
你们可以做Brady小孩跑下楼时的音乐吗？ Can you do that fluttery thing like when the Brady kids run down the stairs?
我不想乱说话 I don't want to tattle.
但是Bobby真的是医生吗？ But is Bobby really a doctor?
[圆蛤镇海员宴会厅] “现在没有尿骚味了
妈妈我吃不下去了我被爷爷的耳朵恶心坏了 Mom,I can't eat.I'm too grossed out by Grandpa's ears
是啊他们就像一大片灰色的魔法森林 I know.They're like a big,gray enchanted forest.
你们爷爷的耳朵不恶心 Kids,your grandfather's ears are not gross.
也绝对不是什么魔法森林 And they are certainly not an enchanted forest
Let us run to the meadow and dance. 让我们一起跑到草丛里跳舞吧
You first. I'm selfeconscious. 让我们一起跑到草丛里跳舞吧
但是说正经的今晚我们聚集这里是为了 But seriously,tonight we here at Pawtucket Mill celebrate...
欢送我们年纪最大也是贡献最大的员工Francis Griffin ..the career of our oldest and most dedicated employee,Francis Griffin.
我今天早上做弥撒时 I massed this morning,
突然发现我将再也见不到你们了 ...it occurred to me that I may never see any of your faces again.
我只想说耶稣爱你们 I just want to say that Jesus loves you.
但是在我眼里你们是一群罪人懒鬼 But in my eyes,you're a bunch of sinners and slackers...
强迫一个努力工作的老人退休的人 !who forced a hard-working old man to retire.
所以你们就用块闪亮的奖章打发人走 So you can take this shiny watch and shove it.
我崇拜他 I adore this man!
那演讲真棒 爸爸 That was some speech,Dad.
是啊奶奶听不到真是可惜了 Yeah.It's a shame Grandma wasn't there to hear it.
主会保佑她她正在拉斯维加斯传教 Bless her heart.She's on another one of her prayer missions in Las Vegas.
发牌你个梭哈 Hit me,you five-card stud.
鸡尾酒 Cocktail!
啊她是那么的美好 Aye,she's a rose.
你没有找爱尔兰天主教女孩真是遗憾Peter It's a pity you couldn't find yourself a nice Irish Catholic girl,Peter.
Francis你说这话还真是让人尴尬啊 Francis,this must be embarrassing for you.
我还在车上呢 I'm in the car.
现在你退休了你要和我们一起生活了 Now that you're retired,you're coming to stay with us.
不要找借口拒绝我会坚决反对（把脚放下） No more excuses.I'm putting my foot down.
Brain系好安全带爸爸你觉得呢 Brian,buckle up.What do you say,Dad?
一我不想麻烦你们-这不麻烦对吗Lois? I don't want to be a bother.It's no bother,is it,Lois?
当然了这会很有意思的 Of course not.It'll be fun.
你是个好女人 Lois也许你以后不会在地狱受煎熬 You're a good woman,Lois.Perhaps you won't burn in Hell after all.
也许你只会和你未受洗的孩子去炼狱 Maybe you'll just go to purgatory with all the unbaptized babies.
刚好Lois你喜欢小孩啊 There you go,Lois.You love kids.
看呐 Look at that.
爸爸在给Stewiei读睡前故事 他以前从来没给我读过 Dad's reading Stewie to sleep,just like he never did for me.
所以上帝把异教徒和罪人们丢到地狱之火里 "So God cast the pagans and sinners into the fiery bowels of Hell.
永远被痛苦的折磨着” ..where their flesh burned in agony forever and ever.
讲完了 The end.
孩子喜欢在睡前听个好的圣经故事 Children love a good bedtime story from the Bible.
是啊 就像上帝叫亚伯拉罕杀掉以撒 Yes,charming.Like when God told Abraham to kill Isaac.
嘿 Hey!
Francis弥撒还真不错 That was a lovely service,Francis.
太好了 离我上学只剩3个多小时了 Super.And only three more hours till school.
我都不知道早上五点有弥撒 I didn't even'know there was'a 5:00 a.m.Mass.
我甚至都不知道早上还有5点 你还有什么没告诉我 I didn't even know there was a 5:00 a.m. What else'haven't you told me?
我蛮喜欢上帝这家伙的 他非常的戏剧性 I rather like this God fellow.He's very theatrical,you know.
这里来场瘟疫 那里来场瘟疫 全能啊 A pestilence here and a plague there.Omnipotence!
看来我也得做点什么 Got to get me some of that.
是啊 我们家都很喜欢圣经 es.We all enjoy the Bible in this house.
真的？你最喜欢圣经里的哪章？ Really?What's your favorite book of the Bible?
耶稣吞掉拼图块的那章 That one where Jesus swallows the puzzle piece...
里面还有个戴黄色大帽子的人送他进了医院 ...and the man in the big yellow hat has to take him to the hospital.
开门 快开门 Open this door!Open it,I say!
抱歉 爷爷 Sorry,Grandpa.
你可能还要等一阵儿 You might want to give that a minute or two.
我知道你在里面干什么那是罪过 I know what you're doing in there,and it's a sin!
如果你再那样做的话你会下地狱的 If you ever do it again,you'll burn in Hell!
但是我每天都会这么做有时候一天两次 But I do it every day.Sometimes twice.
记住我的话 小子 Mark my words,lad.
也许你觉得就你一个人但是上帝正看着呢 You may think you're alone,but God's watching.
不要再这样做了 Don't do it again!
上帝正看着我上大号？ God's watching me do number two?
那我真是个罪人那上帝也真是个变态 I'm a sinner,and God's a pervert.
Megan!
在学校怎么样啊 How was school?
挺好的Kevin还送我回家 Good.Kevin walked me'home.
Kevin?-就住在隔壁那个 Kevin?He lives next door.
96 就住在个小妓女隔壁的那个 He lives next door to a harlot!
爷爷 我们只牵个小手 Grandpa,we were just holding hands.
当上帝用麻风病袭击你的时候 对他来说牵个手没什么 It'll be easy for him to take your hand when God strikes your heart with leprosy.
他可以直接把病带回家 He can take it right home with him!
主啊看到你们这些孩子真好 Lord,it's great to see you kids.
八
Francis我们正在看呢、 Francis,we were watching that.
那我告诉你们结局吧 Laura把肉烤焦了 I'll tell you how it ends.Laura burns the roast..
上帝因为她到处卖弄风骚就杀了她 .and God kills her for parading her bum around in those pants!
是吧 退休了 看球还不错是吧 爸爸 Yeah,not a bad way to kick off your retirement,huh,Dad?
棒球的神奇就是能让父子更亲密 Yeah,the magic of baseball has brought fathers and sons together...
一直以来就是这样 ...for millions of years.
Stewie.正玩的开心呢 Stewie's having fun.
为什么那个人跑之前要丢了他的球棒 Why does that man drop his club before he runs around?
是 我就带着它 I would bring it with me
嘿 谁要热狗啊 Hey,who wants a Fenway frank?
没有什么能像热狗一样能让父子亲密无间 Nothing says,"Please talk to me,Daddy, like a Fenway frank.
这附近有厕所吗 我憋不住了 Is there a bathroom here?I don't think I can wait anymore.
去公共厕所那个小子？ In a public restroom,lad?
你还是忍忍吧 这是为你好 For the good of your soul,show some restraint.
喂 卖热狗的 Hey,hot dog guy!
我去叫他 I'll get him.
不爸爸他们会拿热狗过来的 Oh,no,Dad,they bring them to you.
是吗我不用别人给我拿食物 Well,la-de-da I don't need my food brought to me.
我不是一个老弱的拖油瓶我还能工作 I'm not a broken-down old mule!I can still work!
我还是可以自己点东西的 I can still take orders!
嘿嘿看啊嘿爸爸 Oh,hey!Hey,look!'Hey,Dad!
嘿嘿看啊嘿爸爸 Oh,hey!Hey,look!Hey,Dad!
不是吧这钱花的可真值啊 Aw,crap.That was money well-spent.
他什么都没说就走了？他会去哪呢 He just left without saying anything?Where would he go?
我不知道我只是叫他给我买点花生和爆米花 don't know.I asked him to buy me some peanuts and cracker jacks.
我不在乎他是否回得来 I don't care if he ever gets back.
我不是在比喻什么我是真的希望他死掉 I wasn't being cute.I really hope'he's dead.
波士顿为了迎接天主教皇的到来 Tom,the city of Boston is examining its conscience tonight...
今晚将接受良心的检验 ...in preparation for a visit from the Pope.
是的我来告诉你还有什么会被检验鸡鸡（公鸡） That's right,Diane.I'll tell you what else will be examined,this cock.
罗德岛公鸡社团将赞助检验 The Rhode Island Cock Society is sponsoring free check-ups...
今年的公鸡意识周我不明白为什么要取这名字 ...for this year's Cock Awareness Week. I don't know why the suggestive name.
他们可以直接用公鸡二 They could've just as easily gone with "rooster."
他一定是出事了 I'm telling you.Something must've happened to him.
他肯定受伤了或者迷路了或者被海盗抓去做水手了 He's probably hurt,or lost,or shanghaied by pirates!
肯定是木肢Swantoon船长的海盗船 That renegade pirate ship captained by the ruthless Peg Leg Swantoon!
Peter冷静点这是他退休的第一天 Peter,calm down.It's his first night of retirement.
他或许自己去放松了 He's probably out enjoying himself.
他在监狱里 He's in jail
爸爸我的上帝啊你还好吗 Dad,my God,are you okay?
不要没事乱叫主的名字 Don't be using the Lord's name in vain!
他没事感谢上帝 He's okay!Thank God!
他在放工后又闯进了原来的工厂 It seems he broke into the old mill after hours.
我们发现他时正在踏板上工作 We found him working on a kick press.
爸爸你不和我看球赛跑去工厂工作？ Dad,you left the ball game with me to go work in a mill?
是的我要工作我要回去工作 Yes!I want to work!I want my job back!
但是爸爸你已经退休了 But,Dad,you're retired.
那我宁愿死掉算了 I'd rather be dead.
我来告诉你什么死掉了歌舞杂耍 你们知道什么杀死了它吗有声电影 I'll'tell you what's dead.Vaudeville.You know what killed it?Talkie pictures.
但是你仍然能拥有它只要使点小伎俩 But you can still make it.You just need a gimmick.
比如我是一个杂技演员看我的连环筋斗 I,for one,am a tumbler.Here,watch my round-off.
嘿帮个忙把我口袋里的药片放到我舌头下 Hey,be a sport.Take the pills out of my pocket and put one under my tongue.
我不懂棒球总是男人情谊之间的神秘桥梁 I don't get it,Lois.Baseball'salways been the secret to male bonding.
在红粉联盟里欧唐纳和他爸爸就是这样的啊 It even worked for Rosie O'Donnell and his father in A League of Their Own.
我不想这么说的 I hate to say this...
但是你爸貌似对增进你们间的感情毫无兴趣 it doesn't seem like your dad is interested in bonding with you.
他只在乎工作 All he cares'about is work.
等一下工作工作能够让我们在一起 Wait a second.Work.That's what'll bring us together.
我们可以开始我们自己的父子生意 We can start our own father-son business.
一你搞这么多浴缸干嘛你这个异教笨蛋 What are you doing with all them bathtubs,you heathen dummy?
爸爸你为什么要这样子呢 Pop,why you gotta be like that?
我们把浴缸一分为二再把圣母玛利亚放在里面就可以当神龛卖了 We cut'em in half,stick a Virgin Mary in them and sell them as shrines.
不愧是我的孩子至少你妈妈一直是这么对我说的 That's my boy.At least,that's what your mama always told me.
现在给我个抱抱在我给你个对嘴拳之前 Now give me a hug before I give you a knuckle sandwich.
域者你可以在你工作的玩具工厂给你爸爸也找个事 Or you could just get your father a job with you at the toy factory.
那样更好诶Lois你真是个天才啊 That's an even better idea!Lois,you're a genius.
现在给我个抱抱在我给你个对嘴拳之前 Now give me a hug before I give you a knuckle sandwich.
不用抱了不 Peter,I can't hug you.
别闹了我说正经的 Cut it out.I'm serious.
TOYS,INC. [快乐幸运玩具公司]
这里是整个工厂的中心我工作的地方 And this is the nerve center of the whole factory,my station.
我负责组装新玩偶 喜怒无常的流浪者Zeke I assemble'our new'action figure,Zeke,the moody drifter.
你是说你就站在这里玩一整天娃娃？ You mean to tell me you stand here all day playing with dolls?
这可不容易瞧我得扭扭他的头 It's not easy.See,I gotta twist on his head...
然后在他的牛仔夹克回袋里塞一小包烟 ...and stick a tiny pack of smokes in his torn denim jacket.
有孩子想看死尸的吗 Any of you kids want to see a dead body?
等一下爸爸 Wait here,Dad.
等一下爸爸 CWait here,Dad.
等一下爸爸口 CWait here,Dad.O
Weed先生 Hey,Mr.Weed?
Peter.
是这样的我想请你帮我爸爸在这找份工作 Listen,I was wondering if you might have a job for my dad.
你爸爸？他至少70了吧 Your father?He must'be a man of at least 70.
是啊但是他还很硬朗除了他的前列腺 Oh,yeah.But he's in great shape!Except his prostate.
昨晚2点多我还以为是匹马在上厕所呢 At 2:00 a.m.Last night,I thought a horse was using the bathroom.
全部完成了接了下来还有什么 All finished.What's next?
全部完成了接了下来还有什么 All finished.What's next?O
你五分钟之内完成了我一天的工作 You did my whole day's work in five minutes.
你这个怪物我们真该把你卖到马戏团去 We should sell you to the circus,you freak!
我从未见过这样的效率这怎么可能 I've never seen such productivity.How is this possible?
我来告诉你 I'll tell you how it's possible.
因为这个人总是把工作放到第一位 Because this man always put his job before everything else.
而不是他的老婆健康甚至自己的儿子 His wife,his health,even his own son.
尤其是他自己的儿字 Especially his own son.
别说了各位这就是你们的新车间工长 I need hear no more.Everyone,this is your new shop foreman.
欢迎加入我们尽情的指导工作吧 Welcome aboard,sir.Lead as you see fit.
爸爸这么多年之后我们父子终于可以肩并肩在一起了 Dad,after all'these years,you and me together,side by side,father and son.
Peter这真的是个奇迹实在是太感谢了 Peter,this is trulya miracle.I'm so grateful.
等一下嘿你们可以开始了 Hold that thought.Hey,boys,you're on.
继续爸爸 Go ahead,Dad.
主啊谢谢你 Thank you,Jesus.
我的人生又有了目标 I have a purpose in life again.
嘿回到流水线上开始工作 Hey!Break up the sewing circle and get back to work!
15 天啦天啦这真是部了不起的作品 My,my.What a thumping good read!
狮子要吃基督徒人们若无其事的把彼此钉起来 Lions eating Christians;people nailing each other to two-by-fours.
我说你在小熊维尼里面可找不到这样的情节 I say,you won't find that in Winnie the Pooh.
请别说"屎"(Poo) Please don't say "pooh."
你还好吗你爸爸呢 Are you all right?Where's your father?
还在工厂里他把休息室变成了小教堂 Still at the factory.He's turning the break room into a chapel.
小教堂？那你们在哪吃午饭 A chapel?Where will you all eat lunch?
Lois午饭是罪恶的休息也是罪恶的 Lois,lunch is a sin.Taking a break is a sin.
人兽交合也是罪恶的 Bestiality is a sin.
我不清楚这是怎么发生的但我和爸爸从未如此亲密 I'm not sure how that came up exactly,but me and Dad have never been closer.
让他到工厂工作真是个好…。 Having him at the factory is the best...
我明白了 I got it.
你爸爸太恶心了 Your dad stinks.
我都上了3班了还是拿不到最佳员工 I'm working triple shifts,andI'm still not Employee of the Week.·
我要怎么跟那位竞争呢 How am I supposed'to compete with that?
话说回来那位在哪呢 Where is he anyway?
这将是我第四个小鸟球了看来某人进入状态了啊 This'll be for my fourth birdie.Looks like someone's in the zone.
噢运气不好啊耶稣 Tough break there,Jesus.
是啊是吗 Yup.Or was it?
进了 Boo-yah!
全部都回去工作这里怎么了 Back to work,all of you!What's going on here?
爸爸有些人觉得 Dad,some of the guys think that...
自从你接管这里之后工作就没有乐趣了 ..since you took over,work is no'fun.
工作本来就无乐趣可言一为什么 Work's not supposed to be fun.-Why not?
为什么 Why not?
那是魔鬼撒旦的话你这个失败的员工和你当父亲一样失败 That's Satan talking!You're a failure as a worker and as a father!
慢着或许我不完美 Now wait a minute.I may not be perfect.
AY 至少我爱我的孩子们不会整天只知道工作 At least I'love my kids enough not to spend every minute of the day working!
我是个绝世好爸我敢说比你这个爸爸强多了 I'm a damn good father,and that's more than I can say about you!
Peter你从没像刚才这样对我说过 Peter,you've never spoken to me like that before.
你被解雇了心 You're fired!
好啊如果那样的话我就要告你性骚扰 Well,in that case,I'm suing you for sexual harassment.
回家见吧 I'll see you at home.
你在做什么小字没什么 What are you doing,lad?Nothing!
UUU 淋浴坏了水不够冷 Something's wrong with your shower.The water's not cold enough.
我喜欢洗澡的时候感受刺骨的冷 I like me showers colder than'a well digger's kerblocken.
Q) 我认为某人是时候坐下来 I think it's time someone sits his kerfluffin'down...
跟他失业的儿子谈谈了 ...and has a talk with his unemployed son.
如果他需要谈话 If he needs to talk...
他最好去忏悔为他的失败祈求主的原谅 ...he'd best go to confession to beg forgiveness for all his failings!
祝你有个美好的一天 Have a glorious day.
你怎么可以就坐在这让他这样说你 How can you just sit there and let him talk like that?
他是对的Lois我一无是处 He'sright,Lois.I am no good.
就连我爸都不喜欢我承认吧我会下地狱的 Even my own dad doesn't love me.Face it.I'm going to Hell.
希特勒阿尔·卡彭约翰威尔克斯布斯 Adolf Hitler,Al Capone,John Wilkes Booth.
嘿你在这里做什么 Hey,what are you doing here?
我杀了个妓女因为她到处说我比子弹还快 I killed a hooker.She made a crack about me being faster than a speeding bullet...
所以我把她当电话薄一样撕成两半了 ...so I ripped her in half like a phone book.
是的这胖子就是要下地狱 Yes,the fat man's going to Hell.
看他的大肚子就知道他会一直的烧个不停 And from the looks of his midsection, he'll burn like a tire dump for all eternity.
看他的大肚子就知道他会一直的烧个不停 And from the looks of his midsection, he'll burn like a tire dump for all eternity
他是个多么可爱的恶魔啊 He's so deliciously evil.
Stewiel吃麦片了亲爱的你是个极好的丈夫 Stewie,eat your oatmeal.Honey,you're a wonderful husband.
慈爱的父亲而且我觉得某种程度上 c..a loving father,and,for some reason I'll never understand...
你是个非常孝顺的儿子 ...a very devoted son.
那真是太贴心了Lois但遗憾的是这没什么用 That's a nice thought,Lois,but sadly, it means nothing coming from you.
这一刻终于来临了 The moment has arrived at last.
我们现在连线到洛根国际机场 We now go live to Logan International Airport...
教皇的飞机刚在这里着陆 ..where the Pope's plane has just touched down.
哈喽 波士顿 Hello,Boston!
你们准备好恭迎. Are you ready to humble...
上帝了吗 ..yourself before God?
什么？你们都发誓了要保持缄默了吗 What?Have you all taken a vow of silence?
一起用热烈的掌声欢迎独一无二的 Then put your hands together for the one, the only...
神圣的.教皇 .His Holiness,the Pope!
嘿 我刚有个疯狂想法 Hey,Ijust got a crazy idea!
为什么 为什么 Why?Why?
嘿 我刚又有个疯狂的想法 Hey,Ijust got another crazy idea!
嘿你们注意到了吗 375页里写的是”耶” Hey,did you ever notice this? On page375,it says Jebus."
应该是“耶酥“对吗 It's supposed to be "Jesus,right?
一客房服务 一我们没有叫客房服务 Room service!We didn't order no room service.
事实上我是想检查一下小冰箱 Actually I just wanted to check the honor bar.
因为上一个教皇把刮片和饼干放在一起了 The last Pope we had here filled his shaving kit with Necco wafers.
好吧自作聪明的家伙你到底是谁 All right,wise guy,who are you?
我只是一个虔诚的天主教徒 I'm just a faithful Catholic man...
只有教皇能够解决我的家庭危机 ...with a family crisis only His Holiness can resolve.
我从未求过教堂做任何事但是我真不知道还能去哪了 I've never asked the church for anything, but I don't know where else to turn.
丢出去 Dust him!
天哪孩子你还好吗 My heavens,son!Are you'okay?
还好只是被教皇的随行扔了出来 Yeah.I just got bounced by the Pope's road crew.
我是教皇的司机幸好你刚才没有砸到我 It's good you missed me.I'm to drive the Popemobile.
因为我头上只要受一点小撞击就会昏迷几个小时 Any slight bump on the head knocks me unconscious for a few hours.
虽然我醒来后就没事了但是还真是很不方便 I always wake up fine,but it's just so darn inconvenient...
稍微敲一下就晕倒甚至非常轻的力道像这样 ...to be knocked out that easily.Even by the slightest'tap.Like this.
我要脱衣服了头儿 Taking it off here,Boss.
一脱吧Luke-我要擦汗了头儿 -Take it off there,Luke.Wiping it off,Boss.
一你擦汗吧九号一我要向教皇挥手了头儿 Wipe it off,Nine.Waving at the Pope here,Boss.
你向教皇挥手吧Luke Wave at the Pope there,Luke.
你确定这是波士顿吗 Are you sure this is Boston?
是啊这就是波士顿看那就是哈佛 Yeah,it's Boston.See,look,there's Harvard.
那只是个谷仓 That's just a barn.
看来某人去过耶鲁 Someone went to Yale.
Lois煮点咖啡 Lois,put the coffee on.
小心点我刚拖了地 Careful.Ijust cleaned the floor.
不错吧 Good thing.
柠檬的 Lemony.
教皇陛下真是太荣幸了 Your Holiness,this is such an honor.
请到客厅去吧就当在自己的家一样 Please,go into the living room and make yourself at home!
教皇来这里做什么 What is the Pope doing here?
别紧张我只不过劫持了他的泡泡车好让他向我爸证明我是好人 Relax.I just hijacked his bubble car so he can convince my dad I'm a good guy.
你劫持了教皇 You kidnapped the Pope?
这真是你做过的最鲁莽的事了 This is the most reckless thing you've ever done!
得了吧那我在飞机上的那次呢 Come on.What about the time I was on that airplane?
[吻拉]
Peter你经营了一个美好的家庭 Peter,you've raised a fine family.
N 可是我爸爸认为我是个破坏王我希望你能改变他的看法 Well,my dad thinks I'm a screw-up:I was hoping you could change his mind.
他必须相信你的啊你可是上帝最重要的人 He'd have to believe you.You're God's go-to guy.
你的父亲可以拥有自己的看法 Your father is entitled to his opinion.
但是更重要的是你自己怎么看 But more important is what you think.
了解你内心深处的看法孩子 Look deepl in your heart,my son.
你认为你是个笨手笨脚的人吗 Do you think you're a screw-up?
不我不是你知道吗我是个绝世好爸 No.I'm not?You know what?I'm a damn good father.
我拥有极好的孩子们但爷爷可不这么认为的 -I have great kids.That's not what Grandpa says.
爷爷是错的 Grandpa is wrong.
Meg像你这年纪的女孩喜欢男孩不是罪恶的 Meg,it's not a sin for a girl your age to like boys.
谢谢爸爸 Thanks,Daddy.
还有Chris你在厕所做什么是你跟上帝之间的事 And Chris,what you do in the bathroom is between you and God.
如果你觉得抱歉他会原谅你的 And if you're sorry,he'll forgive you.
谢谢爸爸 Thanks,Dad!
说的好Peter Good for you,Peter.
但是你是不是还要跟谁说些什么呢 But isn't there someone else you should speak to?
是的 Yes,there is.
稻草人你一直都有脑子的 Scarecrow,you've had brains all along.
你也一直有心脏铁皮人 Same goes for your heart,Tin Man.
还有Kristy McNichol快回到荧屏上吧我们想你了 And Kristy McNichol,come back to television.We miss you.
我的意思是你该跟你爸爸谈谈了 I meant you should talk to your father.
U 是的你和我一起吗 You're right.You with me,big guy?
Peterl哪里有需要我就去哪里 Peter,I go where I am needed.
去上教皇车 To the Popemobile!
还记得我们在Lombardi的生日时发现 Remember when we brought in that stripper for Lombardi's birthday...
叫的那脱衣女郎是他的儿子吗我想这个要更劲爆 ...and it turned out to be his son?I think this is gonna top it.
哇是教皇诶 Wow,it's the Pope!
你们这些懒惰的罪人你们是来工作的不是围观 Slothful sinners!You're here to work,not sit around with your...
我的个妈啊 这是圣父啊 Holy Mother!It's the Holy Father.
我何德何能 I am not worthy.
快起来我的孩子 Rise,my son.
你当然可以你培养了一个这么好的儿子 You are indeed worthy,for you have raised a fine son.
他对生活的热情证实了上帝对所有人的伟大的爱 His zest for life is an affirmation of God's great love within us all.
哇 这可是怪咖教皇说的 Wow!And that's from the freakin'Pope!
所以我想你对我的看法是错的爸爸 So I guess you were wrong about me,Dad.
是啊 我看错了 I was wrong all right.
准备了 伙计们 Stand by,boys.
我看错你了 I was wrong about you!
你比我想象的要软弱 我的圣父 You've gone soft on me,Holy Father!
浸礼会里摇铃鼓的都可以看出这小子不好 Even a tambourine-shaking Baptist could tell this boy's no good!
你的意思是说我是个骗子吗 Are you calling me a liar?
别激动 教皇 因为我要把你逐出教会 Whoah,easy,Pontiff.Because I'll excommunicate your sorry..
够了 时间到 Okay,time out.
呼 我从没见过这么让人生气的人 Oh!I have never met such an infuriating man!
你一定有圣人般的忍耐力 You must have the patience of a saint.
他是我爸爸我只是想让他爱我 Well,he's my dad.And Ijust want him to love me.
Peter你怎么能这么说呢 Peter,how could you say such a thing?
我全心全意的爱着你啊 I love you with all me heart.
是吗 当然了 You do?e Of course.
我只是不喜欢你你所有的东西我都不喜欢 Ijust don't like you.I don't like anything about you!
P 继续演奏吧我想这实际上挺好的 Keep playing.I think this is as good as it gets.
爸爸说实话 我也不喜欢你 Dad,to be honest,I don't like you either.
天哪 我说了什么 啊 我想我真的会下地狱的 Jeez,that's a terrible thing to say.I guess I am going to Hell.
上帝说要尊重父亲 The good Lord said to honor thy father.
没说过要喜欢他 He never said anything about liking him.
好吧如果是那样的话爸爸 Well,in that case,Dad...
我周五会吃肉星期天会打高尔夫 ...I'm gonna eat meat on Fridays,golf on Sundays...
看犹太喜剧会发笑还有我会和我的新教老婆睡觉 ...laugh at Jewish comedians,and yes,sleep with my Protestant wife.
但是我不会沉迷于此的她也不喜欢 But I won't enjoy it.And she hates it.
好吧那我走吧 Well,fine.I'll be on me way.
你回来工作吧给你老爹个抱抱 Take back your job,and give your old man a hug.
我爱你爸爸 I love you,Dad.
我知道孩子 I know you do,Son.
-你接下来要做什么呢一我不知道 What are you gonna do now?I don't know.
我想像我这样的老头对上帝没什么用了吧 I guess the good Lord doesn't have much use for an old man like me.
或许我的巡游队伍可以再加个人 I suppose I could use another pair of hands on my tour.
你给我爸爸工作 即使你知道他是个讨厌鬼 You'd give Dad a job,even knowing what a jerk he is?
我不得不这样 就像你说的"我是个怪咖教皇” I have to.As you said,Peter,I am the freakin Pope.
好了 退后 All right,get back!
不准闪光照相 否则就直接下地狱 你 No flash photography,or you'll go straight to Hell!You!
你正在上帝的地方 你这个异教徒 You're in God's house,you heathen!
把帽子摘掉 不然 我替你摘 Take that cap off before I take it off for you!
我认为你爸爸找到了个适合的工作 I think your father found the perfect job
但愿如此我喜欢做一个好父亲 Let's hope so.I love being a good father.
但是我将有很长时间不想再做个好儿子了 But I don't want to have to be a good son again for a long,long time.
Peter 开门 备好烈酒 Peter,open the door,and break out the schnapps!
猜猜谁来这里过周末了 Guess who needs a place to sleep it off for the weekend?
一妈妈？一天哪不是吧 -Mom?-Oh,my God,no!
快大家快进逃生舱 Quick,everyone!Into the pod!
翻译&注释：D校对&压制：wudixny@familyguy!贴吧字幕组 更多精彩剧集请关注我们的贴吧或新浪微博搜索familyguy即可