It seems today that all you see
is violence in movies and sex on TV
But where are those good,old-fashioned values
on which we used to rely?
Lucky there's a family guy
Lucky there's a man who'll positively can do
all the things that make us
laugh'n'cry
He's a family guy
Family Guy 2x09 If I'm Dyin',I'm Lyin'
中文字幕：MaxPayen999校对：看不见的星wudixny 间轴：wud ixny @famill yguy贴吧字幕组 后期：wudixny 压制：wud ixny
一我们得要谈谈一等等节目要开始了 -We need to talk.Not now.The show's about to start.
Bryant Gumbel,Greg Gumbel.
Bryant Gumbel,Greg Gumbel...
Bryant Gumbel,Greg Gumbel..
Bryant Gumbel,Greg Gumbel
兄弟骑警 ...brothers,bike cops.
Gumbe l:二人组在海滩执行正义 Gumbel 2 Gumbel,Beach Justice.
你最近和Matt Lauer说话了吗 AYou talk to Matt Lauer lately?
上周六和他一起玩高尔夫球来着 Played 18 holes with him on Saturday.
我告诉他你在Arafat脱口秀上太软弱了 Told him he was soft in the Arafat interview.
一我挺喜欢他的一我也是 -Oh,I like Matt.=Me,too.
我的包 My purse!
电 该咱们上了 Come on,Greg.Let's roll.
C
ALIHU
知道厉害了吧这就是海滩正义的力量 Taste that?That's the taste of beach justice.
你干嘛啊 Are you crazy?
Executive Producer 我和爸爸直看这节目的Farlane Yeah,me and Dad haven't missed a Gumbel 2 Gumbel yet.
Executive Producer 你以后不能看电视了ckerman You're gonna'miss this one,young man.
Executive Producer C 他的成绩单寄到家里来了erman His report card came today.
在你成绩提高之前不许看电视 No more TV until your grades improve.
Supervising Producer 上楼学习去ig Hoffman Now get upstairs and study.
Supervising Producer =会我跟她谈谈ny Smith Don't worry.I'll talk to her.
等我的老朋友Jack Daniels给我鼓鼓劲之后就去 After I get a little bit of courage from my old friend,Mr.Jack Daniels.
Daniels先生 Mrs.Daniels?
Lin Producer Jack在家吗 Is Jack in?
Line Producer Ken Dennis
(Line Producer Ken Dennis
That
Supervising Director 天啊f么时候的事情ter Shin Oh,my God!When?
太遗憾了 Oh,I am so sorry.
Supervising-Director Roy Allen Smith
Supervising Director 可怜的Smith Poor old Jack.
Produced by Sherry Gunther
6 Produced by 他是个聪明人只是他太喜欢玩打谷机了 He was a wise man,but he just loved playing with that wheat thresher.
Written by 老是在玩那打谷机Sheridan Always playing with that wheat thresher!
别动你太脏了 Honey,hold still and let me bathe you.You're filthy.
我太脏了 I'm filthy?
9 你才脏你为什么说我 You're the filthy one.What do you say to that?
你怎么敢这样 How dare you!
我看见你的屁股了 Hey,Stewie,I see your bum.
好好看看吧胖子 Take a good look,fat man.
你干嘛不给我照几张照片我好拿到法庭上去告你 And take pictures so I'll have something to bring to court,you filthy pervert.
y 别为难Chris好吧不让他看电视 Hey,Lois,give Chris a break.I mean,no TV?
他只是成绩不合格又不是 He failed a class,it's not like he felt up his cousin.
他只是成绩不合格又不是 He failed a class,it's not like he felt up his cousin...
在十九岁的时候跟他表亲在感恩节上千出什么荒唐事 in the garage that Thanksgiving when I was 19.
我需要你去辅导Chris I want you to help Chris.
得到父母的关注孩子的功课会更好些 000 Kids do'better when parents take an interest in their schoolwork.
我在周四新闻和Gatil sday新闻上看到的 I saw that on a two-part report on'Dateline Tuesday and Dateline Gatilsday.
Gatil sday是什么玩意 What the hell is Gatilsday?
o\ NBC发明的那玩意这样他们就能够多报新闻了 NBC invented a new day so they could add another Dateline.
Gumbe l秀真太棒了 But the Gumbel show is sacred to us.
Bryant和Greg的那种父子关系 Bryant and Greg have the kind of father-son relationship...
太让我羡慕了 ..I want me and Chris to have someday.
他们是哥俩 Peter,Bryant and Greg Gumbel are brothers.
是吗就因为他们是黑人咱们就不能向他们学习了 Nice.Just because they're black,we can't learn anything from them?
Chris把作业做完了你们下个星期再看这节目一样啊 If Chris gets his homework done,you can watch it together next week.
快来帮我收拾屋子我妈要来了 Now come on.Help me get the'house ready for my mother.
她在这里要住一个星期 She's coming to visit for exactly one week.
妈妈再见 Bye,Mom.
这一个星期怎么过的 Sheesh.What a week that was.
好了咱们看节目吧 Okay,come on,let's watch the Gumbels.
咱们不是说好了吗作业不做完不许看电视 Peter,I thought we agreed,no TV until his homework is done.
一我看完了就一他作业已经做好了 Mom,I'll do it after...Chris finished his homework.
而且我每天晚上都辅导他做作业 In fact,I've been helping him study every night this week.
2 是吗 Really?
那样你们就看电视去吧 Well,that's great.Enjoy your show,boys.
当然了 You bet we will.
今晚Katie Couric(记者)的嘉宾是个十足的泼妇 Tonight,Katie Couric guest stars as a very perky crack whore.
爸爸你说Christ做完了功课是不是说我 Dad,when you said,"Chris finished his homework," were you talking about me?
如果你真是这个意思咱们就撒谎了 Because if you were,I think you just lied to mom.
我说的都是谎话除了那个 Chris,everything I say is a lie,except that and that.
/和那个那个还有那个 And that.And that.And that.And that.
那个 And that.
第五频道新闻插播 This is an Action News 5 News Break.
我是Tom Tucker我是Diane Simmos -I'm Tom Tucker.And I'm Diane Simmons.
Tom跟我赌我敢不敢把上衣脱了 Tom has dared me'to do the news topless.
我有身材但是我有胆子没有十一点告诉您 I've got the goods,but have I got the guts?Find out at 11:00.
如果你们打算看Gumbel2 Gumbel的话 If you're waiting for Gumbel 2 Gumbel,you're out of luck.
么那个节目被取消了 That show has been canceled.
欲知详情或者想看她的奶子的话十点见 The full story,and maybe Diane's boobs,tonight at 11:00.
难以置信我感觉好痛苦 I can't believe this!=I feel sick
只能干一件事了 Only one thing to do
只能干一件事了 Only one thing to do.
我们要挽救Gumber2 Gumbe l 我们来演Griffin2 Griffin We gotta save Gumbel 2 Gumbel,and were gonna do it Griffin 2 Griffin.
一开始吧子算我一个 -Let's roll!SI'm with ya,Dad.
我们干什么写信吗 What do we do,write a letter?
我试过一次让我惹了很大麻烦 I tried that once.It got me in al lot of trouble.
你们要是不把教练这个节目重新播放我就会很生气 "If you don't put Coach back on'the air,I'll be really upset.
CraigT.Nelson的演技就会被埋没了 "The skillful acting of Craig T.Nelson will be missed a lot.
饮 Peter Griffin敬上 "Signed,Peter Griffin."
跟我去杂货店 Come help me with the groceries.
好的 Okay,honey.
SIGNED, Okay,honey.
SIGNED,
Craig T.Nelson!
你是Peter Griffinl吗一没错 Are you Peter Griffin?Yeah.
NEW 要动手就快点 Make it quick.
咱们无论如何也要把那个节目弄回来 Okay,we're gonna get our show back on'the air...
不管那些主管怎么威逼利诱我们都不行 ...and were not gonna be intimidated by any slick executive types.
是Suaves先生 Look at Mr.Suave.
是Suave先生 Look at Mr.Suave.
你不能进去 Wait.You can't go in there.
/ 管得着吗 Just watch me!
我是说那门里面就没东西 I mean,you can't go'in there,because that door leads nowhere.
进旁边的那道门 Use the door next to it.
给我听着我和我儿子强烈要求恢复Gumbel2 Gumbel All right,Callaghan,me and my son want you to uncancel Gumbel 2 Gumbel.
我们只管收视率它被取消了我们没办法 Well,Sir.We only air the show.We have nothing to do with it being canceled.
不过全部的剧集我们都录下来了你想借也可以 I have all the episodes on tape if you want to borrow them.
你想来硬的吗 Okay,you bastard.you want to play rough?
在你把那节目恢复之前我绝食抗议 allright.Until you bring the Gumbels back,I am going on a hunger strike.
你觉得如何 How about that,Callaghan?
你这样良心过得去么 Can you live with that on your conscience?
你要吃那个订书机吗 You gonna eat that stapler?
一你怎么能吃订书机 分我一块如何 -You can't'eat a stapler...- Wanna split it?
对不起我那该死的食欲太烦人了 Sorry,Chris.Me and my damn appetite!
我这不是第一次因为食欲惹上麻烦了 It's not the first time it brought me trouble.
此段恶搞了电影<安妮日记>
此段恶搞了电影<安妮日记》
此段恶搞了电影<安妮日记>
橄榄球新闻八岁大的晚期癌症小男孩Johnny Gobraun And in gridiron news,little Johnny Gobraun...
梦想在橄榄球场上打四分卫 ...a terminally ill 8-year-old who dreamed of playing quarterback...
今天终于在梦想基金会的资助下成功实现了 ...for New England got his wish today thanks to the Grant-a-Dream foundation.
他接到球准备传球 Gobraun takes the snap and fades back to pass.
哦他被扑倒了 Here comes the rush.Oh,he's sacked!
InS海即play Here comes the rush.Oh,he's sacked!
Instant Replay
看来小Johnny:希望有人帮他阻挡对方球员了 Looks like little Johnny should've wished for some blocking.
我想到怎么把节目弄回来了 Chris,I just thought of a way to get the Gumbels back on the air.
大好了爸爸 All right,Dad!
我们只需要撒个谎就行 All we gotta do is tell a little white lie.Just go with it.
这是梦想基金会吗 Is this the Grant-a-Dream foundation?
我儿子要死了一哦天啊 My son Chris is dying!Holy crap,no!Oh,my God!
我这说谎呢 That was the lie.
我这说谎呢 That was the lie
你好狡猾 Oh,you sly boots.
你确定这么做行吗 Are you sure this will work?
这只是你又一次的年少轻狂罢了 Chris,this is just another one of your crazy schemes.
这么做都是你的主意啊 This whole thing was your idea!
你会明白的 You'll find out.
这根本讲不通啊 Dad,you're not making any sense!
看我怎么办就行了 You just leave that to me.
找到了 Ah,yes.Here we go.
Chris Griffin.
你的临终愿望被拒绝了 Your dying wish is denied
谢谢 Thank you.
等等我儿子活不了多久了 Wait a minute.My son only has a short time to live.
他唯一的愿望就是把他最爱的节目复活你怎么能拒绝呢 All he wants is his favorite show back on TV.How can you say no?
Griffin先生 谁都觉得自己要死的孩子的愿望是必须被满足的 Mr.Griffin,everyone thinks their dying child is special.
但是如今给我们基金捐款的人 But these days,people who donate money to our foundation.
希望他们的捐款能有更好的收效 ...demand a little more bang for their buck.
我们需要能包装的孩子 We need sick kids we can'package.
比如那个送到好莱坞猜谜游戏的孩子 you know,Like that one we put on Hollywood Squares.
我希望那个快死的男孩答题 I'll take the dying boy to block.
Jeremy什么东西是在绝对零度以下的（没有的） Jeremy,is there anything lower than absolute zero?
丁仁我的白细胞 Yeah.My white-cell count.
JEREMY
SCOTT BAKULA
O
告诉你Chris的病比那些孩子还要严重十倍 I'm'telling you,Chris is dying ten times worse than those other kids.
他得了一种怪病叫肿瘤梅毒炎症 He's got a very rare disease called tumor-syphilis-itis-osis.
听起来不错有什么症状 Sounds sexy.What are the symptoms?
症状你看看 What are the symptoms?Take a look!
他身体上不停地长出乳头来 He's growing nipples all over his body!
一我看着像香肠一你以为你是谁 -They look like pepperonis.-Who do you think you are?
我儿子对这长出来的乳头很敏感的 My son happens to be very sensitive about his extra nipples.
看他们还自己落下来了 See,look.They're coming right off.
乳头不会这样 Nipples shouldn't just come off like that.
: 哇那是我见到的病的最严重的孩子了 Why,that's the sickest boy I've ever seen!
给我接电视总裁。 Get me the president of television!
WE USED TO HAVE SEINFELD.REMEMBER?
这个点子怎么样 How about this?
一个白人女孩在大城市里办杂志 A single white girl in the city working at a magazine!
点子不错是啊 Yeah,that's good.Yeah.
你们知道自己在说什么吗 Do you guys hear yourselves?
都是些重复了多少次的老套路了 This is the same old crap over and over again.
我们得要有新意来点不同的 We need to take a chance.Try something different.Something fresh.
打扰下 Excuse me.
打扰下 Excuse'me
我不接电话一是打算做快死男孩的节目 No calls!It's about a dying boy.
什么情况 Hello?What's he got?
听起来不错啊 Sounds sexy.
把节目制作权弄来就答应你们的条件 Get me exclusive rights to his death and you got a deal.
祝贺你们Gumbel2 Gumbe复活了 well,Congratulations,Gumbel 2 Gumbel is back on the air!
太好了爸爸 All right,Dad!
很抱歉咱们是在这样的情况下见面的 Mr.Griffin.I'm sorry we had to meet under these circumstances.
你说什么啊我们还会见面的 Are you kidding?I may see you again.
我还有两个孩子 I've two more kids,and I've always wanted to see...
o 而且我还想看新的星际旅行剧集呢 ...some new episodes of Star Trek.
二
该洗澡了你又脏了 Stewie,it's bath time.You're filthy again.
我让你看看什么是脏 I'll show you filthy!
看我啊我是个脏孩子 Yes,look at me!I'm a dirty,foul little boy!
我是个肮脏的小淘气 I'm a nasty,squalid little hobo!
你现在无话可说了吧 I say,Mother,you have your work cut out for you now,don't you?
你要想脏就脏吧 Okay,if you want to be dirty,be dirty.
你干嘛我这是表达愤怒呢 Where do you think you're going?I've defiled myself.
快给我洗澡 I need to be cleaned!
好了你干净了 There you go,kiddo.All clean.
该死的我冷死了 Blast!I'm frozen!I'm hypothermic!
天啊我变成女人了（小J缩进去了汗） Bloody hell,I'm a woman!
把笔拿出来开始测试 Take out your pencils and start your test.
McCloud先生我没有复习但是我有个好理由 Mr.McCloud,I didn't study for the test,but I got a good reason.
我要死了 I'm dying.
上次有个犹太贝跟我说他要过节 我都不信你的理由比他还烂 Griffin,That's the lamest excuse I've heard since Steinberg's Jewish High Holiday crap.
把帽子给我摘了（犹太人戴圆顶帽） Steinberg.Take that hat off in my classroom!
但是McCloud先生我真的要死了 But'Mr.McCloud,I'm really dying.
我有证明 I have a certificate to prove it.
天啊肿瘤梅毒炎症你还坚持来学校 My God!Tumor-syphilis-itis-osis! And he still comes into school! HOMEI
你可以不用考试了你这勇敢的孩子 You're excused from the test,you brave,brave boy.
你应该跟他学学 Steinberg.You can learn something from this fine young...
该死的把帽子给我摘了 Damn it,Steinberg!Take that hat off!
爸爸Marcy Gibbons刚打来电话 Dad,Marcy Gibbons just called!
她听说Chris要死了 She heard that Chris is dying!
你哥哥没事 Your brother's okay.
那只是我们为了挽救一个电视剧撒的谎而已 That was just a little white lie we came up with to save a TV show.
那么他不会死了 So he's not going to die?
不会
看你刚才那表情太过瘾了 Boy,your face was priceless when you thought he was.
你是个禽兽 You're a monster.
Chris也参与了 Chris was in on the whole thing.
无论如何事情已经这样了 Anyway,it's over and done with
搞什么 What the hell is that?
将死的Quahog!男孩 Oh,dyin'boy of Quahog
Chris Griffin你真勇敢 Chris Griffin,you're so brave
你的脸上充满笑容每一步一个脚印 There's a smile on your face and a bounce in your step
就好像挖你的坟一样一步一个坑 as they dig your grave
一步一个坑 as they dig your grave
田
是不是有人唱歌没有 Do I hear singing?No!No singing.
我只是在看电视剧上的烂节目而已 Just us watching another hilarious episode of Good Times.
你把声音开大了就这个样子 The sitcom that's funnier when you play it really loud.
●Maxine是个不错的女人 Maxine is the lady who's feeling all right...
谢谢Kid Dynomite让我有这样的感觉 ...thanks to the magic of Kid Dynomite!
孩子你去哪里了 Junior,where you been?
你比晚饭时间晚了三个小时 Dinner was three hours ago!
算了吧James Oh,forget him,James.
一他是个白痴妈妈你怎么了 -He's an idiot!Mama,what's wrong with you?
我怎么了 What's wrong with me?
我的名字是Florida My name is Florida!
我和一个州同名 Florida!That's the name of a state!
我为什么叫Florida Why is my name Florida
天啊 Oh,Lord!
Dynomite!
的确有人唱歌 That is singing.
咱们前院有一帮人点着蜡烛守夜呢 Peter,there's a candlelight vigil on our front lawn.
你胡说些什么那里没有人 Lois,that's ridiculous.There's nobody out there.
你肯定有幻觉 You must be seeing things.
那些人是怎么回事 Peter,why are these people here?
就好像挖我的坟一样一步一个坑 As they dig my grave,as they dig my grave
他们给我唱歌呢 Hey,Dad,they're singing a song about me!
嗨妈妈 O Hi,Mom.
你好Griffin先生 Hello,Mr.Griffin.
我们来看看你的孩子病情恶化了没有 We just came by to see if your son's taken a media-friendly turn for the worse.
大家都好谢谢光临再见 No.Everything's fine.Thanks for checking.Bye-bye.
Griffin先生基金会为了你的孩子花了大钱 Mr.Griffin,the foundation held up its end of the'bargain...
还把那个破烂Gumbel节目给复活了 ...and got that crappy Gumbel show back on the air!
一你欠我们一个死户户什么 -You owe us a body!-What?
等等 Excuse me for a minute
你假装Chris要死了好去让一个节目复活吗 You pretended Chris was dying to save a TV show?
你这个禽兽 You're a monster!
谢谢 Thank you.
跟他说实话 Peter You tell that man the truth!
我问下啊 Just out of curiosity...
我问一下啊 Just out of curiosity...
( 一说吧如果他没病怎么办 Shoot.What happens if he's not really dying?
那么你会因欺诈基金会被判刑去蹲监狱 You go to jail for defrauding a charitable organization.
听起来不错 Oh.That's interesting.
稍等下 Will you excuse us?
你是对的眼下只有一招了 You're right!There's only one way out of this!
Chris好了我治愈了他 Chris is all better!I cured him!
你治愈了他 You cured him?
没错我有天赐神力 That's right.I have divine powers!
好了大家走好 Okay.Safe drive.
你还有什么可说的 What do you have to say to that?
我不用进监狱Christ也不会死 I'm not going to jail,Chris doesn't have to die...
最好的是Gumbe I2 Gumbe l又回归了 ...and best of all,Gumbel 2 Gumbel is back on the air.
3)J 你算什么家长啊 Oh,You're a great role model.Peter
什么样的人会那自己孩子的性命开玩笑去复活个电视节目 What kind of man devalues the life of his child for a TV show?
那些不假装自己孩子要死了的 Lois.Anyone who wouldn't pretend their own son is dying
去复活Gumbe ls的人都是种族主义者 to get the Gumbels back on TV is a racist.And that's it.
那是Peter Griffin他是Quahog的神医 It's him!It's Peter Griffin!The miracle healer of Quahog!
救救我吧伟人 Heal me,O great one!
你看你干了什么他们以为你是有什么神力的人了 You see what your lies have'done?They think you're some kind of healer.
我来处理 I'll handle it.
我看过一本书说过这事 I read a book about this sort of thing once.
你确定那是本书 Are you sure it was a book?
你确定你知道怎么处理这事 Are you sure it wasn't nothing?
当然 Oh,yeah.
这些穷苦人以为你有神力呢 Peter.These poor,deluded people think you have divine powers.
赞美Peter Praise Peter!
一我们是你的仆人一这是个奇迹 -We are your servants.It's a miracle!
你让我们干什么Quahog的伟人 What would you have us do,O great healer of Quahog?
其实没什么要干的去油漆我的屋子 There's really no need to do anything.Paint my house
骗你的家人就够过分的了 It's bad enough to lie to your family...
但是你怎么能让这些人相信你有神力呢 ...but how can you let these people think you're a healer?
这简直是赤裸裸的剥削 This is pure exploitation.
才不是 No,it's not.
我堂兄Rufus拍的电影才是剥削 Those'films my cousin Rufus used to do were pure exploitation.
由黑哥给您带来 From the cats who brought you Caddyblack,Blackdraft...
让您爽的无法形容 ...and Black Kramer v.Kramer, comes a funky flick so bad...
你会说真是太酷了 ...you gonna say,"Damn,that's funky."
0
你完蛋了 Oh,you out of time,baby.
该死 Damn!
Rufus Griffin主演 Rufus Griffin stars in...
黑到未来（恶搞电影回到未来） ..Black to the Future.
咱们看看Marty McSuperfly在干什么 We're talking Marty McSuperfly,dig?
我要成为你的小贱人 Marty,I want to'be your fine,sweet-ass bitch.
天啊黑哥亲了他妈妈 Damn!Brother done'kissed his mama!
没错 Oh,yeah.
给我接Isaac Hayes(著名爵士乐音乐人) Get me Isaac Hayes.
I saac你不是正找新人吗 Isaac,you know that new sound you been looking for?
听听这个 Well,listen to this!
别这么纠结了好不好 Come on,Lois.Stop'being such a stick in the mud.
我只是给这帮人点希望 Look,I'm giving these saps hope.
再免费让他们油漆个房子而已 And I'm getting the house painted for free.
这是双赢啊 It's win-freakin'-win,baby.
那个平头的过来 Hey,flathead,chop-chop.
除草除的不错 Hey,great job on the lawn.
再除一次这回草留长点 Now do it again,and this time leave it a little longer.
爸爸快点你要错过Gumbel2 Gumbel了 Hey,Dad.Hurry up.You're missing Gumbel 2 Gumbel.
他们抓到嫌疑犯现在要审问了 They caught the guy,and now they're interviewing him.
你偷了钱包这是社会的错误呢还是你需要帮助 Purse snatching,society's fault,or one man's cry for help?
你胡扯什么我要她的钱 What are you talking about?I wanted her freakin'money.
他有什么毛病啊 What the hell's wrong with him?
下回吧我的鞋呢 Some other time,Chris.Now,where's my shoes?
他们崇拜你 Peter.These people'are worshipping you.
你不觉得有人会因此恨你吗 Don't you think there's someone who might resent that?
·那个全知全能的人 A being who's all-knowing and all-powerful?
你还真对自已有信心啊 Someone's got a pretty high opinion of herself.
不是我是上帝 Not me,Peter.God.The real God.
X 有什么大不了的 What's the big deal?
X物 我就是撒了个谎现在大家以为我是上帝而已 So I told a little fib,and now people think I'm God.
难道上帝说过 I mean.When'did God ever say He didn't want someone else...
不需要人崇拜他了吗 ...being worshipped like Him?
中一这个是士诫上说的 It's one of the Ten Commandments.
这个是十诚上说的 It's one of the Ten Commandments.
拜托那都是两百年前的玩意了时代变了 Come on.Those were written,like,200 years ago.Times have changed!
好吧淡定 Okay,let's stay calm.
Lois如果你害怕了在灯亮前我会抱紧你 Lois,if you're scared,I'll hold you until the lights are on again.
是我回房间去 Dad,it's me.Go to your room.
都换好了 That's the last of them.
我还是想不通为什么所有的灯泡同时爆炸了 I still don't know how every light'bulb could go out at the same time.
我的上帝 Oh,my God.
干嘛 Yes?
这不好玩 That's not funny.
那些崇拜者在院子里给你立碑呢 Those fanatics are building a golden idol of you on'our lawn.
看着好像我变成了艾美奖 I look like a'freakin'Emmy
提示提示 Hint-hint.
该死 Damn it to hell!
真丢脸我好想有跳蚤了 This is embarrassing.I seem to have fleas.
以前从来没有过 That's never happened before.
早上好 Morning.
人 天啊你满脸都是青春痘 Chris,puberty hit you like a ton of bricks.
你什么意思 What do you mean?
你还不知道出什么事情了吗 Don't you see what's happening?
我当然知道 Of course I do,Lois.
我们的孩子从一个光鲜水灵的男孩 Our fresh-faced little boy is becoming a pock-marked...
变成粗糙刚劲的爷们了很正常】 ...hideously disfigured man.Sunrise.Sunset.
不灯泡爆炸我的跳蚤还有他的青春痘 No.The light bulbs last night,my fleas,Chris'pimples.
这好像黑暗牛蛇还有疮疖 They're just like darkness,gadflies,and boils.
好像上帝对古埃及下的三个天谴一样 Three of the plagues God visited upon Egypt in the Old Testament.
算了吧对那些事会有科学解释的 Come on,there's a logical explanation for all those things.
灯泡爆炸是因为电量猛增你有跳蚤是因为不洗澡 There was a power surge,you don't bathe...
他的青春痘从他四年级开始就这样了 ...and Chris has had acne problems since the fourth grade.
孩子们都叫他黄油头披萨脸。 The kids were all calling him Crisco and Pizza Face..
牙膏脖子还记得吧 ...and Rootin'-Tootin'Raspberry.Remember,Chris?
现在记得了 Now I do.
Meg怎么了 Meg,what's wrong?
我给Stewie洗澡然后 I was giving Stewie a bath,and...
相信我他那个年龄有生理反应是正常的 Trust me,Meg,at his age,it's strictly involuntary.
不是洗澡水都变成了红色好像血一样 No!The water,it turned all red and goopy,like blood!
了 Blood?
血 Blood?
真太好玩了就好像有人捅了Bubble先生一样 How positively delightful.It's as if someone stabbed Mr.Bubble!
我的孩子 My baby!
快出去告诉那些人真相 Get out there and tell those people the truth.
87 在雹子毁掉在我家房子之前让那些人停止崇拜你 Make them'stop worshipping you before it starts hailing in my house!
这些都能解释的 There's gotta be an explanation for all this!
你要个解释吗上帝怒了 You want an explanation?God is pissed!
咱们走吧 Let's get out of here!
停下来不要崇拜我 Stop it!Stop worshipping me!
我是个大骗子 I'm just a big fake...
就好像美国登月和Marky Mark在摇摆舞之夜的那头公猪一样C ...like the'moon'landing and Marky Mark's hog in Boogie Nights...
另外还和Tom Cruise.与Nicole Kidmanl的婚姻一样假 ...and Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman!
我不是指那个同性恋的传言 I don't mean that completely untrue gay rumor.
他们俩都是伪君子就和我一样 They're just both really phony,just like me.
YV 停下来好吗求你了 I'm sorry,okay?Now make it stop.
这回是最后的瘟疫来临了 This is the final plague!
好啊这戏码真是老套了 Good,it's starting to get really old.
我指的是第一个儿子被上天杀死的事情 The final plague'is the death of the first-born son.
一不Stewie一第一个儿字 No!Stewie!The first-born son.
一不Stewie一第一个见子 No!Stewie!-The first-born son.
一Meg你老婆 Meg.Your wife.
Chris!
天啊你还好吧 Oh,my God.Are you okay?
爸爸我看到了在长长隧道的那道白光了 Hey,Dad,I can see a white light at the end of a long tunnel.
太好了孩子向光里面走 Oh,that's great,son.Light is good.Run towards the light.
不给我从哪里离开 No!Run away from the light!
你说在天堂里有Gumbel2 Gumbell吗 Hey,Dad,do you think they got Gumbel 2 Gumbel in heaven?
是的没有重播也没有广告 自 Yes,son,and there's no reruns or commercials.
Kirstie Alley(主演过Cheers)依旧很火 ..and Kirstie Alley is still hot..
个
那些垃圾电视台都被清除了 ...and all those scrambled channels come in clear as a bell.
不要带走我儿子求你了 Please don't take him,God.I'm sorry.
我想Griffin那家伙明白了 We think the Griffin guy gets it.
Peggy 停止瘟疫谢谢 Good,good.Peggy,turn off the plagues,please.
LGODN 好的Patterson先生 Yes,sir,Mr.Patterson.
她是新来的 She's new.
GODN
我想瘟疫走了 I think the plagues went away.
一白光也没了一哦宝贝 -So did the white light.cOh,honey!
谢谢上帝我说谢谢我 Thank God!I mean,thank me!
开玩笑的 Kidding!It was a joke!
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