It seems today that all you see
Is violence in movies and sex on TV
But where are those good old-fashioned values
On which we used to rely?
Lucky there's a family guy
Lucky there's a man who positively can do all the things that make us
Laugh and cry
He's a family guy
Family Guy 03x19 Stuck Together, Torn Apart 合合分分
翻译&注释:疯狂的螃蟹 校对&压制:wudixny @familyguy贴吧字幕组
有些东西...你真的怀疑究竟谁会要大包装的 Some of this stuff... you wonder who would need it in bulk.
我是说比如西瓜 I mean, like watermelons.
干的好 克斯玛超市 Touche CostMart.
- Brian你能照看一下Stewie吗 - 当然没问题 - Brian, will you watch Stewie? - Sure.
一定记得盯紧他 还记得上次发生了什么吧 Please keep a close eye on him. Remember what happened last time.
- Stewie在伤到你自己之前停下来 - 闭嘴 你又不是我妈 - Stewie, get down before you hurt yourself. - Shut up! You're not my mother!
- 哦天啊 你还好吧 - 很好啊 为什么这么问 - Good God! Are you all right? - Fine. Why do you ask?
[免费样品]
嗯好吃 我一定会仔细考虑买这产品的 Mmm, delicious. I will seriously consider purchasing this product.
噢 这是什么 我可以吃吗 Oh, what have we here? May I partake?
嗯~ Mmm.
香肠啊 正准备给武士兄弟们买一些 Sausage-san. Plan to buy for samurai buddies.
你其实不需要一直重新排队 你想吃多少都行 它们是免费的 You don't have to keep moving to the back of the line. You can have as many as you want.
你为什么这么说 What are you talking about?
- 我能再来点香肠吗 - 我也要 - Can I have more sausage? - Yeah, me too?
如果买4架钢琴它们会有大折扣 Meg帮我把它们拿下来 They got a great deal on pianos if you buy a four-pack. Meg, help me get these down.
- Lois - 噢天啊 - Lois? - Oh, my gosh.
我都不敢相信 I don't believe this.
Ross Fishman真的是你 大学毕业后就再没见过了 你怎么样 Ross Fishman, is that really you? I haven't seen you since college. How are you?
我过的不错 哇哦 Lois 岁月都没有在你身上留下痕迹 Great. Wow, Lois! You haven't aged a bit.
噢 谢谢你 Oh. Thank you.
这12包杀真菌剂是给我女儿meg的(Lois竟然有脚气...) This 12-pack of fungicide is for my daughter Meg.
救...命 Help me.
- 他很牛 - 现在是1981年吗 - He's funny. - Is it 1981?
Gallagher美喜剧演员 之前买西瓜的人 1981年是他最火的时候
啊 找到了 Ah, yes, there you are!
你们这些工业胶类公司擅长做好吃的胶水 You people at the Industrial Adhesives Corporation know how to make a tasty glue.
[超级工业胶水 保证绝不脱胶]
好的 接下来大餐开始 Well, then, let the banquet begin.
- 你做什么 那个不能吃 - 天啊 别像个白痴一样 - What are you doing? Don't eat that. - For God's sake, don't be such a nerd.
我负责盯你的梢 如果Lois看到这个她会杀了我的 I'm keeping an eye on you. If Lois sees this, she'll kill me.
- 你可以放开我的手了 - 你也可以放开我的了 - You can let go of my hand now. - You can let go of mine.
- 噢... - 糟糕 - Oh... - Crap.
遇见你我高兴得话都说不出来了 I can't tell you how wonderful it's been to see you.
这么久都没联络真是犯罪 我们以前那么亲密 It's a crime that it's been so long. We were so close.
我们可以喝杯咖啡 叙叙旧 We could get together for coffee, catch up.
这...我不知道Ross 我结婚了 Well... I don't know, Ross. I'm married now.
我也是 这难道说我们不能和老朋友联络了吗 So am I. Does that mean we're not allowed to stay in touch with old friends?
这样吧 如果你改变主意了这是我名片 Tell you what. If you change your mind, here's my card.
看老爸 他们有12个装的肾脏 Look, Dad. They have 12-packs of kidneys!
你必须同时买下制冷器才行 这就是他们的诡计 You got to buy the cooler, too. That's how they get you.
- 好吧谢谢 - 怎样 - OK, thanks. - Well?
好消息是那个公司生产可以溶解胶水的溶剂 The good news is they make a solvent that'll get us unstuck.
但是要两周才能送到 But it takes two weeks for delivery.
你是说我们这样搞在一起要该死地两周么 You're telling me that we're stuck like this for a bloody fortnight?!
- 你不能告诉Lois这件事 - 如果我告诉呢 - You cannot tell Lois about this. - What if I do?
- 我有你穿她婚纱的照片 - 你告诉我那个相机里没胶卷 - I'll show her those pictures of you in her wedding dress. - You said there was no film in that camera!
- Stewie该换尿布了 - 介意我观摩吗 - Stewie, it's time to change your diaper. - Mind if I watch?
我真是羞愧让Peter的嫉妒阻碍了我 And I'm ashamed of myself that I let Peter's jealousy prevent me
重拾一段友谊 就因为这个老朋友是男性 from rekindling an old friendship just because it was with a man.
只要是涉及到你和其他男人Peter就会不理智 Peter's not a very understanding guy when it comes to you and other men.
比如上次在看电影时 Like that time at the movies?
[休格兰特主演"我的提议是"]
我...我...我...这个...我真是太尴尬了 I... I... this is... My, this is terribly awkward.
但是我...我想告诉你 But I... I wanted to tell you something.
但是我...我似乎如此深地被你迷住了 But I... I seem to be so charmingly befuddled.
- 啊休格兰特太迷人了 - 哦 你这么想么 - Ah, that Hugh Grant is so handsome. - Oh, is that how it is?
过来你这个该死的混蛋 Come here, you home-wrecking bastard!
老爸别这样 他体型比你大 Don't do it, Dad! He's bigger than you!
还有你去音乐会那次 And when you went to that concert?
谢谢 谢谢你们 下一首献给这里所有的女性 Thank you. Thank you very much. This next one is for all the ladies out there.
还有上周六晚上那次 Then there was last Saturday night.
- 噢看那个帅锅 - 你个狗娘养的 - Oh, look at that handsome man. - You son of a bitch!
我不能一直让Peter荒谬的情绪主宰我的生活 I can't let Peter's irrational emotions run my life!
我准备打电话问Ross现在答应他是否太迟 I'm gonna call Ross and see if it's not too late for his offer.
- 你能帮我换完这个吗 - 好的 - Would you mind finishing up? - Sure.
好啊你喜欢清理我的粪便吗Brian Yes, do you like cleaning my doody, Brian?
说出来 说“我喜欢清理你的便便Stewie" 哈 别忘记清理残留的屎痕 Say it. Say "I like cleaning your doody, Stewie. " Ha! Don't forget the taint.
私人侦探玛格侬
美80年代电视剧
TC开直升机环岛巡逻 我要去找漂亮小妞谈谈 TC, fly the chopper around the island. I'll talk to the women.
- Tattoo 你去看守那些绑架犯 - Higgins - Tattoo here will look out for the kidnappers. - Higgins.
Tattoo是同类型电视剧"Fantasy Island"(梦幻岛)中的跟班
我们需要安保帮我开那个门 明白吗 Tattoo We'll need security to unlock the gate for me. OK, Tattoo?
- 我叫Higgins - 什么 - It's Higgins. - What?
我名字叫Higgins The name is Higgins.
- 你叫什么 - Tattoo - What's your name? - Tattoo.
哦Peter我就...出去几个小时就回来 Oh, Peter. I'm just... gonna go out for a few hours.
所以我...我几个小时后...回来 So, I... I'll return in... a few hours.
哦 电视结束再说 Yeah, I'll do it when this is over.
嘿Lois能递给我一罐啤酒吗 Hey, Lois, can you grab me a beer?
- Lois - 爸爸我觉得她出门了 - Lois? - Dad, I think she went out.
- 那么你就是Lois了 - 好的 - Then you be Lois. - OK.
Lois能递给我一罐啤酒吗 天哪 你还真是放纵自己的口舌之欲啊 Lois, can you grab me a beer? Oh, my God! You've really let yourself go!
也许你偶尔给我买些好看的衣服就不会这样了 Maybe if you bought me nice clothes once in a while!
Peter Griffin我们知道你在屋里 举起手出来 Peter Griffin, we know you're in there! Come out with your hands up!
整到你了 Fooled ya!
你们真的整到了 这是搞毛啊 You sure did. What the hell is this?
新型警局监控货车 我们准备去喝啤酒 想加入吗 The new police surveillance van. We're going on a beer run. Wanna join us?
我戒酒了 我觉得我可能是个酒鬼 I quit drinking. I think I might be an alcoholic.
- 什么 - 哦天啊 - What? - Oh, my God!
整到你们了 走让我们喝道不省人事 Fooled ya! Come on. Let's go drink till we can't feel feelings any more.
这个车安装有最新的执法技术 看 This van has the latest in law-enforcement technology. Watch.
嫌疑犯 嫌疑犯 你有权保持沉默 Suspect! Suspect! You have the right to remain silent!
真有趣 Sweet.
- 我试下 - cleveland 别 - Let me try. - Cleveland, don't!
少数民族嫌疑犯 少数民族嫌疑犯 危险 他有枪 Minority suspect! Minority suspect! Danger, he's got a gun!
哦 嗷 嗷 哦 嗷 哦 嗷 Oh! Ow! Ow! Oh! Ow! Oh! Ow!
嘿 Joe 车不见了 Hey, Joe! The van's gone!
它自带伪装设备可以变身为两个 It's got a cloaking device that disguises it as two homeless guys
为三角奶酪争斗的流浪汉 fighting over a wedge of cheese.
Peter 那餐厅里不是Lois吗 Peter, isn't that Lois over there in that diner?
- 为啥Lois在那儿 我已经吃过了呀 - 快看 - Why would Lois be there? I already ate. - Take a look.
哦天 真是Lois 她搞毛啊... Oh, my God! That is Lois! Why the hell would she...
哇哦 我能看到你肌肤的细胞 Whoa. I can see your skin cells.
我在科学美国人杂志上看到你了 你看着很棒 I saw you on Scientific American. You looked great.
- 别 我眼睛是半睁的那次么 - 天 敢不敢接受这该死的赞扬 - Please! Where my eyes are half-closed? - God, just take the damn compliment!
- Lois和另外一个男人吃饭做什么 - 有没有可能她是妓女 - What is Lois doing with another man? - Is it possible she's a whore?
只有周末 为了帮她妈妈付透析的钱 正如我想象的那样 Just on weekends? To help pay for her mom's dialysis? As in my fantasy?
我们还是重新来吧 嗨 我是Quagmire Let's start over. Hi, I'm Quagmire.
- 我希望可以知道她说什么 - 我想我能帮忙 - I wish I knew what she was saying. - I think I can help.
哦你妻子和孩子真标志 能和你聊天太好了Ross 我很高兴最后我还是约你了 Oh, your wife and children are beautiful. It's so good to catch up, Ross. I'm glad I called.
我也很高兴 你丈夫对你出门见我没有意见吧 I'm glad you did, too. Was your husband OK with you coming?
呃...是的他最后觉得这没什么 Uh... Yes, he turned out to be just fine with it.
好 让我们看看能监听到什么 All right. Let's see what we can pick up.
请别在我点的鸡蛋里吐口水 请别在我点的鸡蛋里吐口水 Please don't spit in my eggs. Please don't spit in my eggs.
谢谢你的鸡蛋 我希望他没在我的鸡蛋里吐口水 Thank you for the eggs! I hope he didn't spit in my eggs.
Doug 我在那人的鸡蛋里吐口水了 Doug, I spit in that guy's eggs.
我们的军队已经准备好了 我们将要离开下水道 Our armies are ready. We will leave the sewers
并且在地表打人类一个措手不及 and strike back at the humans in the overworld.
我很高兴我们都找到了让自己幸福的人 I'm glad we both found someone to make us happy.
和你在一起很愉快 Ross 我现在很开心 I enjoy being with you, Ross. I'm having a great time.
哦天哪 就是那个人 Ross Fishman Lois的旧男朋友 Oh, my God! That's who that is. Ross Fishman, Lois's old boyfriend.
- 我们在失去信号 - 我要听更多的 - We're losing them. - I gotta hear more.
这个仪器承受不了那么高的负荷能量 The power's not supposed to go that high!
真他妈痒 不知道是谁传给我的 Damn itch. I wonder who gave it to me.
很可能是那个在加油站搭车的野鸡 这是我最后一次帮别人了 Probably that skank who needed a ride at the gas station. Last time I do somebody a favour.
哦天啊 他们一定是听到我的心里话了 天 我也能听到 Oh, God! They must have heard me! Oh, God! I can hear me!
Edwin Eugene Bagley - National Emblem(国徽进行曲)
呃哦 你这是在搞什么飞机 Ugh! What the hell do you think you're doing?!
我在清理自己 I'm cleaning myself.
你15分钟前已经清理过了 你现在就是闲着没事做 You were clean 15 minutes ago. Now you're just on vacation.
所以Lois正在见她的旧男友是吧 那两个人都可以玩这样的游戏 So, Lois is seeing old boyfriends, huh? Well, two can play at that game.
我先找到我的小黑皮书 I just gotta find my little black book.
恶搞《夺宝奇兵》
啊在这 Ah, here it is.
- Brenda - Peter 哦天啊 25年没见了 - Brenda? - Peter! Oh, my God. It's been 25 years!
是的 那我猜你现在已经结婚了吧 Yeah. So, I guess you're married now, huh?
是的 Yeah.
嘿Richky你说对了 我是怀孕了 Hey, Ricky, you were right! I was pregnant!
嘿怎么了pete 好久不见 Hey, what's up, Pete? Long time no see.
Patty 岁月对你不薄啊 Patty, the years have been great to you.
- 我把这归功于我的另一半 - 他是谁 先生 - I owe that to my better half. - Who is it, sir?
两位妹子都是《史努比》中的人物
- Angie - Peter 天啊 天啊 快进来 - Angie? - Peter? Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Come in!
呃...这些都是什么 Uh... what is all this stuff?
Peter这一刻我已经等了25年了 Peter, I have been waiting for this moment for 25 years!
你碰过我的手之后我就再也没洗过了 I haven't washed my hand since you touched it.
哦天啊 真恶心 Oh, my God! That's disgusting!
看 厕所被我保持着我们去舞会那晚的样子 And look! Look! I left the toilet just as it was the night we went to the prom.
这是我为了牢记你所保留的你的一部分 It's the little piece of you that's kept your memory alive.
但是现在你回来了 But now I have you back.
哦 好吧 至少我还拥有你 Oh, well. At least I still have you.
你饿了吗 You hungry?
哦 糟糕 Oh, crap.
我来搞定 Let me handle this.
伙计你飙到65了 这个速度高了10里每秒...你为什么握着他的手 You were going 65, fella. That's ten miles over the... Why are you holding his hand?
- 我们是网上勾搭上的 - 闭嘴 - We met on the Internet. - Shut up!
他勾引我去公园说有糖果和好玩的故事 He lured me to the park with promises of candy and funny stories.
- 听说过工业用强力胶吗 - 事实上是的我们听说过 - Ever hear of super industrial adhesive? - Actually, yes, we have.
- 老爸为什么你频频朝门那张望 - 哦 meg你肯定是嗑药了 - Dad, why do you keep looking at the door? - Oh, Meg. You and your drugs.
我很好奇这是谁啊 I wonder who that could be.
- Peter Gifford - 我的天啊 Dora 我曾经的女友 - Peter Gifford? - My God! Dora, my old girlfriend.
你能来看我我太惊讶了 你总是认为我很帅 What a surprise that you would look me up! You always thought I was so handsome.
Peter你能和我到隔壁谈谈吗 Peter, can I see you in the other room?
- 好走 说吧 - 我应该吗 - Yeah, go. Say it. - Should I?
- 我说不出 - 说出来就好 - I can't. - Just say it.
这根香蕉你能放多...我说不出 她正看着我 How far can you get this banana... I can't say it. She's looking right at me.
这是搞毛啊 What the hell is this about?
- 为了对付你和Ross Fishman - 什么 - It's about you and Ross Fishman! - What?!
我看到你和他破了第五戒 I saw you and him breaking the Fifth Commandment!
基督十诫之五:不可对父母不敬 对Peter汗...
国会通过这些条款是有原因的 Congress passes these things for a reason!
又是这样 你的嫉妒要让我窒息了 我受不了了 That's it! You're suffocating me with your jealousy. I can't take it any more.
我要找婚姻咨询 我连和老朋友喝杯咖啡都不行了 I'm calling a marriage counsellor. I can't even have coffee with a friend!
- 你到底是什么毛病 - 你想知道我有什么毛病 - What is your problem?! - You want to know what my problem is?
- 我太爱你了 - 你在说什么 - I love too much! - What are you talking about?
- 你看不到吗 我们还活着 - 你吓到我了 - Don't you see? We're alive! - You're scaring me.
很好 拥抱你的恐惧 与我共舞Lois 跳起生命之舞吧 Good! Embrace the fear! Dance with me, Lois. Dance the dance of life!
也许你是该打电话给婚姻咨询 Maybe you should call that counsellor.
Griffin夫妇我已经看过你们的情况了 Mr and Mrs Griffin, I've reviewed your situation.
- 我有个建议 - 无论什么我们都会遵守的 - I have a suggestion. - We'll do whatever it takes.
我要在你们每一间房里都安装摄像头 I'd like to put video cameras in every room of your house
这样我就能观察你们未经审查的行为 so I can observe your uncensored behaviour.
就像那个老大哥剧中一样 除了这个有人会看之外 Just like that show Big Brother. Except somebody'll be watching.
一周后
我看过了所有录像 I've looked through the footage.
我已经编辑了你们家庭生活的一些真实片段 这就是结果 I've compiled an accurate cross section of your home life. Here are the results.
- Peter教训Chris一顿 - 好的 - Peter, give Chris a spanking. - OK.
Chris我在看比赛你知道该怎么做 Chris, I'm watching the game. You know what to do.
嗷 嗷 嗷 嗷 Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!
这比你打我更加让我伤心 嗷 This hurts me more than it hurts you. Ow!
"亲爱的日记 kevin太性感了" "Dear Diary, Kevin is so hot. "
"今天他在院子里扫落叶" "Today he was out in the yard raking leaves. "
"天 我真希望他把我扔到落叶堆里" "God, I wish he'd throw me into that pile of leaves. "
嘿 大家在这...天啊 我的日记 我恨你们 Hey, what's everybody... Oh, my God! My diary! I hate you all!
继续 Keep going.
不对 是踏脚 拍臀 踏脚 旋转 你想把火山惹毛么 No. It's step, hip, step, pivot. Are you trying to piss off the volcano?
帮我擦背好吗 Get my back, would you?
噢 对啦 噢 这感觉真棒 Oh, that's it. Ooh, that feels good.
- 能帮我把瓶子拧开吗 - 噢天啊 Peter - Can you give me a hand with this jar? - Oh, for heaven's sake, Peter.
整到你了 Gotcha.
说实话我从没见过这么糟糕的家庭 To be honest, I've never seen such dysfunction.
Griffin夫妇我的建议可能有点不寻常 Mr and Mrs Griffin, what I'm about to suggest may seem unorthodox.
我建议试着分居并开始和别人约会 I recommend a trial separation, during which time I advise that you date other people.
我相信这会帮你们找到原因 I believe this will help you gather perspective.
- 和别人约会 - 哦天啊 - Date other people?! - Oh, my God!
我知道这很难办 这就是为什么我请来了霍伊曼德尔 I realise this is upsetting. That's why I've invited Howie Mandel
犹太人 主持过《一掷千金》 现担任《美国达人》评委
激励你们通过用鼻子来吹手术手套 to lighten the mood by blowing up a surgical glove with his nose.
这真的感觉很怪异Lois This feels really weird, Lois.
我知道但也许医生是对的 这段时间的分开对我们有好处 I know. But maybe the doctor's right. This time apart could be good for us.
我不知道分开这招对吃豆人夫妇就不起作用 I don't know. Splitting up didn't work too well for Pacman and his wife.
- 忘了她吧 - 她配不上你 - Forget about her. - You're too good for her anyway.
- 振作兄弟 - 嘿你想吃我们吗 - Cheer up, man. - Hey, you want to eat us? Huh?
- 我们变蓝色了 - 我们无处可逃了 - We're turning blue! - I've got nowhere to run.
他就要逮住我们了 He's gonna get us!
- 哦 - 哦 - Oh. - Oh.
他都没动 走吧 我们去Q*bert家 He's not budging. Come on. Let's go to Q*bert's.
也是一款同名街机游戏中的人物 橙红色球状生物
- 谢谢你收留我 Cleveland - 我们家就是你的家Peter - I appreciate you putting me up, Cleveland. - Our house is your house, Peter.
我很想坐在这聊天但是我需要回楼上找loretta I'd sit here and chat, but I need to get back upstairs to Loretta
因为今天是我们结婚纪念日而且现在正在变的越来越美妙 because it's our anniversary and the getting's good.
嗷 嗷 嗷 嗷 嗷 嗷 Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!
什么时候轮到我 嗷 嗷 嗷 嗷 When is it gonna be my turn? Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!
你想住多久都可以 You are welcome to stay as long as you like.
谢谢 Muriel 那你们平时都有什么娱乐 Thanks, Muriel. So, what do you guys do for fun around here?
我们喜欢边看老电影边听"加州旅馆" We like to watch old movies while listening to "Hotel California"
看看他们能不能完美的合上拍子 to see if it syncs up in a significant way.
目前为止还没有能的 没有一部可以 And so far, no. Nothing has.
- 嗨 - Peter在吗 - Hello? - Is Peter there?
哦 嗨Quagmire 不Peter不在家 Oh, hi, Quagmire. No, Peter's not home.
我们...我们遇到了一些婚姻小问题 We're... we're having some minor marital problems.
我们的主治医师建议我们开始和别人约会 Our therapist has advised us to date other people.
- 嘿Lois想一起出去吗 - 啥 我不知道Glenn - Hey, Lois, you want to go out? - What? I don't know, Glenn.
Peter和我刚分开 我觉得我需要时间 Peter and I just separated. I feel like I need more time.
- 现在怎么样 - 我们应该要约会其他人 - How about now? - We are supposed to see other people.
但我想和你出去总比和别的性变态好 I guess it's better to go out with you than some sex pervert.
我和你去 Giggetty-gaggety-gaggety-goo I'm in! Giggetty-gaggety-gaggety-goo!
[基督教青年会泳池]
噢 天杀的 你能不能休息5秒钟 Oh. God blast it! Will you hold it for five seconds?!
好了 OK.
Griffin先生重回单身的感觉怎么样 So, Mr Griffin, how does it feel to be a bachelor on the prowl again?
没想象中好 我对女性的感觉和原来不同了 It's not as great as you'd think. I don't have the same way with women that I used to.
这很好 这很好 That was nice. That was nice.
今天和你渡过了完美的一天美丽的陌生人 你怎么称呼 I had a great time with you today, beautiful stranger. What's your sign?
恶心 但是我还是认为你很干净 Gross. I still think you're neat, though.
你应该试试视频约会服务 我和Muriel就是这么遇到的 You should try a video dating service. That's how Muriel and I met.
我给你看mort的录像 他很迷人的 Let me show you Mort's tape. He was so charming.
结合约会服务: Mort Goldman
啊 噢 我的眼睛 能不能把那个很亮的灯调暗一些 Agh! Oh, my eyes! Could you please turn down that very bright light?
它在灼烧我的视网膜 It's burning my retinas.
女士们 我是一个非常饥渴的男人 Ladies, I'm a very desperate man.
我叫Mort和母亲住 我标准很低 My name is Mort and I live with my mother. And I have very low standards.
哦天啊 我痰里有血 Oh, God! There's blood in my mucus!
啊 你在搞什么飞机 Agh! What the hell is wrong with you?!
嘿这是邮件 哦终于来了 Hey, there's the mail! Oh, finally.
[工业胶水溶剂]
这个溶剂需要一个小时的作用时间 It takes an hour for the solvent to take effect.
什么要一个小时 我们可以看丽塔拉德娜说5分钟的单口相声 What takes an hour? We could watch Rita Rudner do five minutes of stand-up.
美喜剧演员
好好笑 Ba-zing.
我们会渡过一个很棒的夜晚的Lois We're gonna have a swell time tonight, Lois.
谢谢你作为好朋友照顾我 Thank you for being such a good friend and looking after me.
小事一桩 外面冷所以我给你带了夹克 No problem. It's chilly out, so I brought you a jacket.
- 哦 不用了 谢谢 我还好 - 求你了 - Oh. No, thanks. I'll be fine. - Please?
Muriel和我认为你应该听从医生的意见开始约会 Muriel and I feel that you need to follow your therapist's advice and start dating.
- 天 Mort 我不知道我准备好了没 - 来吧伙计 - Jeez, Mort. I don't know if I'm ready. - Come on, stud.
我们已经安排好了你和我侄女见面 We've set it up for you to go out with our niece.
亲爱的 过来和Peter Griffin打招呼 Honey! Come on out here and meet Peter Griffin.
这是我侄女 珍妮弗洛夫休伊特 This is our niece, Jennifer Love Hewitt.
美著名演员 主演过电视剧"鬼语者"等
- 很高兴见到你 - 好吧我起来了 - Nice to meet you. - All right, I'm getting up.
嗨 Peter Griffin想去哪 除了迪厅都可以 他们再也不让我进去了 Hi. Peter Griffin. We can go anywhere except the disco. They don't let me in any more.
嗷 狡猾的墨西哥人和你的玻璃糖 Ow! Crafty Mexicans and your glass candy.
恶搞了皮纳塔 墨西哥人喜爱的一种打糖果的游戏
- 这怎么了 - 井里有个女孩 - What's going on? - There's a girl in that well.
- 天啊 - 没人的胳膊足够长到能够到她 - Oh, my God! - Nobody has arms long enough to reach her.
除了那个人 但是他在帮那个女人逗那个树上的侏儒 Except that guy. But he's helping that woman tickle a midget.
嘻-嘻 停下来 嘻-嘻 Tee-hee. Stop it. Tee-hee.
哦天啊你想救她不是吗 Oh, God, you want to rescue her, don't you?
这次正如那次我希望他们用我做干细胞研究一样 It's times like this I wish they'd used me for stem-cell research.
救命 Help me!
乖乖用润肤露涂抹你的皮肤否则敬享受管子喷洒的侮辱 哈 It rubs the lotion on its skin, or else it gets the hose again. Ha!
此句来自"沉默的羔羊" 杀人狂要剥地窖里女孩的皮 需要涂润肤露担心女孩不好好涂所以又用水管喷洒了一遍
好了我要把你放下去了 All right, I'm gonna lower you in.
我突然注意到 你多久才能在现在的时代发现一个17世纪的水井 I just noticed. How often do you see a 17th-century well in this day and age?
- 迅速点 胶水在失效了 - 好的好的 - Hurry up. The glue's wearing off! - All right, all right!
我们做到了 我们不用继续连在一起了 We're not stuck together any more.
- 谢天谢地 - 没错 - Thank God! - You said it.
- 想手牵手一起回家吗 - 当然好啦 - Want to hold hands on the walk home? - Sure.
Susie 谢天谢地你得救了 Susie! Thank God you're all right!
等一下 这不是我的女儿 Wait a minute. This isn't my little girl.
嘿那是我妻子 Hey, that was my wife!
- 嘻-嘻 - 嘻-嘻 - Tee-hee! - Tee-hee!
[西西里岛风味餐厅]
- "我知道你去年夏天干了什么" - 从来没听说过 - I Know What You Did Last Summer? - Never heard of it.
她说的全是她出演过的电影 以下皆是
- "黑夜煞星" - 没听说过 - The Devil and Daniel Webster? - Nope.
- "五口之家" - 是毛片吗 - Party of Five? - Was that a porno?
有时你必须在拍正经片子前演些烂片 Sometimes you gotta do a lot of crap before they put you in anything decent.
这里的食物太棒了 这里是我和Lois第一次约会的地方 The food here is fantastic. This is where I took Lois on our first date.
你点了一个派作为前餐 You ordered a pie for an appetiser?
我要去厕所花5分钟排泄一下 这样就有位置给正餐了 I'll go to the john and fire one out in five minutes. That should make room for dinner.
- 这是你的桌子Quagmire先生 - 谢谢 来点些喝的怎么样 - Here's your table, Mr Quagmire. - Thanks. How about drinks?
马丁尼给你和迷药可乐达给你的伴儿像往常一样 Martini for you and the usual roofie colada for your date?
不不不 我不能带...一杯葡萄酒 No, no, no. I wouldn't bring... A glass of wine.
天啊 那是珍妮弗洛夫休伊特 Oh, my God! That's Jennifer Love Hewitt!
哇哦 我好奇她和谁在约会 她可以和任何她想要的人约会 Wow! I wonder who she's here with. She could date any man she wanted to.
好了 腾出了很多空间 There. Made lots of room.
厕所里的洗手标示是针对员工的 是吗 That sign in the bathroom about washing your hands, that's for the staff, right?
- 理论上是的 - 这正是我想的那样 太好了 - Technically, yes. - That's what I thought. Great.
哦 伙计 它们看起来棒极了 每一个都是 Oh, man! These all look good, every one of 'em.
- 你想要点面包吗 - 不要 - You want some bread? - No!
Peter 是你吗 Peter, is that you?
Peter 哦不 我不能让他看到我 Peter?! Oh, no! I can't let him see me!
放松Quagmire 我们只是遵循医嘱而已 It's OK, Quagmire. We're just doing what the therapist said to do.
Peter我认为你能和珍妮弗洛夫休伊特一起用餐太好了 Peter, I think it's great you're out with Jennifer Love Hewitt.
嗨 我喜欢你在"心碎的人"里的表演 Hi. I loved you in Heartbreakers.
你最好好好表现 You be on your best behaviour.
- 来了甜心 张嘴 - 不要 - Here you go, sweetheart. Open up. - No!
这就对了 这不是很浪漫吗 There you go. Isn't this romantic?
到此为止 你真是我这辈子见过的最肮脏恶心的人类 That's it! You have got to be the most vile, disgusting human being I've ever met!
而且我这辈子从来没这么兴奋过 And I have never been more turned-on in my life.
住手 女人 我不在乎我们的医生说了什么 Hold on, toots! I don't care what our therapist says.
我不会旁观我的丈夫和别的女人亲吻 滚吧 I won't stand by and watch my husband lock lips with another woman! Beat it!
- 你有病吧 奶奶 - 你才是 - What's your problem, grandma? - You are!
而且我只是在飞机上看了"心碎的人" And I only saw Heartbreakers on a plane!
那班飞机延误了所以耳机是免费的 And the flight was delayed, so the headphones were free!
哇哦 刚才那真酷啊 Lois Wow. That was pretty cool, Lois.
我想我终于明白了... I guess I finally understand...
你最好赶快跑你小荡妇 You better run, you little bitch!
我想我终于明白为什么你有时候那么善妒 I guess I finally understand how you can get so jealous sometimes.
看到她吻你就让我够抓狂了 Seeing her kiss you like that just made me crazy.
我想我们需要一起学习如何控制我的嫉妒...一起 I guess we're gonna have to learn to control our jealousy... together.
一起 Together.
女士你遗失了你的餐巾 Ma'am, you dropped your napkin.
这是你的饮料先生 Here's your drink, sir.
我们之后会解决的 我爱你Lois We'll work on it later. I love you, Lois.
我也爱你 Peter I love you too, Peter.
多诡异的一对夫妇啊 天我需要喝点什么压惊 What a couple of freaks. God, I need a drink.
服务员 马丁尼和迷药可乐达 Waiter! Martini and a roofie colada.
翻译&注释:疯狂的螃蟹 校对&压制:wudixny @familyguy贴吧字幕组