翻译: Atropa 晓小枫
好的早餐麦片的关键是7成的麦片要在牛奶上面 The trick to cereal is keeping 70% above the milk.
Jerry 你赶紧找个工作吧 Jerry, get a job.
校对: 约翰
嗯 Jerry 要 要不你去开门吧 Uh, w-why don't you get it, Jerry?
你是这家里的一家之主 而且你没有工作 You're the man of the house, and you don't have a job.
后期: Nico
Rick的包裹 Delivery for Rick.
早上好啊 Summer Beth和Jerry Morning, Summer, Beth, and Jerry.
压制: 怪查理
好恶心 那是什么 Gross. What is that thing?
那是个信使飞行器 It's a courier flap.
就相当于跨星系的联合包裹服务公司 It's like the intergalactic version of U.P.S.,
只是没那么烦人 But less off-putting.
我靠 Oh, shiiit!
看来是鸟人给我发的邀请蛋啊 It looks like an egg-vite from birdperson.
又到了他一年一度的奥斯卡派对的时候了吧 Must be time for his annual Oscar party.
顺便 我们的电视信号要走几光年 And, by the way, our tv signals take light years
才能到达他的星球 To reach his planet.
谁也别告诉他<勇敢的心>获奖了(1996年获奖) Nobody tell him that "Braveheart" Wins.
大家好 我是鸟人 Greetings. This is birdperson.
还有Tammy And Tammy!
邀请你们来屎瓜星球 Inviting you to planet Squanch
来参加我们的配偶结合仪式 For our mate-melding ceremony --
如果你是地球人 If you're from earth,
这是在说我们要结婚了 That means we're getting married!
哦 天呐 Oh, my god!
我的朋友Tammy要跟鸟人结婚了 My friend Tammy's marrying birdperson!
鸟人是个什么啊 What the hell is a birdperson?
他是Rick的死党 He's Rick's best friend.
咱们先别太激动了 Morty Uh, l-let's not get carried away, Morty.
请问您要回复请帖还是要送上礼物 Would you like to RSVP or send a gift?
不 婚礼说白了就是带蛋糕的葬礼而已 No. Weddings are basically funerals with cake.
我要是想看别人白白扔掉大好人生 If I wanted to watch someone throw their life away,
我天天跟Jerry混在一起就好 I'd hang out with Jerry all day.
好的 即将返回送信人 Affirmative! Returning to sender.
- 不 等一下 停下 信使飞行器 - 正在停下 - No, hold on, stay, courier flaps. - Staying!
爸 你的朋友要结婚了 Dad, you have a friend that's getting married.
这可是个大事啊 That's a big deal.
他能有个朋友 这才算大事 It's a big deal he has a friend.
Jerry 你懂什么友谊 What do you know about friendship, Jerry?
收到命令 正在运送Jerry Confirmed, shipping Jerry.
喔 喔 喔 等一下 Whoa, whoa, wait!
哦 天呐 Jerry Oh, god! Jerry!
爸 Dad!
它要把他带到哪里去呀 Where is it taking him?
我猜大概是屎瓜星球吧 I assume planet Squanch --
6000光年外星系的另外一头 6,000 light years across the galaxy.
哇哦 那 太疯狂了吧 Whoa, t-that's— that's insane!
是啊 我知道 现在我们必须得去参加那个婚礼了 Yeah, I know. Now we have to go to the wedding.
瑞克与莫蒂
电波诚译
第二季 第十集
Rick Sanchez Rick Sanchez!
你这个大屎瓜 You psycho bag of squanch!
嘿 最近怎么样啊 屎瓜奇 Hey, what's up, Squanchy?
嘿 屎瓜奇 Hey Squanchy
Morty Summer 你一定是Beth了 Morty, Summer! And you must be Beth.
呜啊 幸屎瓜会啊 Mwah! Ensquanche!
你们的语言里好像有很多"屎瓜"这词啊 You're language has the word "squanch" In it a lot.
你们不觉得这个词用烂了以后就很无聊了么 Doesn't that become tedious and worn out,
就像蓝精灵老说"smurf"一样 Like the smurf thing?
Beth 屎瓜文化更依赖于语境而不是文字 Beth, Squanchy culture is more contextual than literal.
你就直接说你屎瓜里所想到的 然后大家就能听懂 You just say what's in your squanch and people understand.
哦 好吧 Oh. Okay.
我屎瓜我的家庭 I squanch my family.
怎么了 我真的 Uh... what, I do.
我真的很屎瓜我的家庭 I squanch my family.
别说了 真恶心 Stop saying it. Gross.
进来吧 伙计们 Come on in, guys.
客人们正在喝鸡尾屎瓜呢 The guest are having cocksquanches.
- 我这是在哪啊 - 婚礼上 - Where am I?! - You're at a wedding.
去把衣服换了 Go change.
*我是个爵士说唱外星人* *And I'm an alien with jazz rap style*
*爵士说唱了一外星英里* *Jazz rapping for an alien mile*
*肥肥的节拍带着外星的笑* *Fat beats and an alien smile*
*爵士宇宙电话 外星拨打给我的伙伴* *Jazz space phone, alien dial is my friend*
*我有一嘴的爵士给你的屁屁* *I got a mouthful of jazz for your ass*
*然后我会继续爵士不停下* *And I'm gonna keep jazzing*
哎呀 你来了呀 Oh, you made it!
再怎么我也得来呀 I wouldn't miss it for the world!
天啦 我好喜欢你的戒指 Oh, my god. I love your ring.
谢谢 是鸟人的奶奶留下来的 Thanks. It was birdperson's grandmother's.
她跟一只松鼠打了一架才拿到的 She fought a squirrel for it.
鸟人 Birdperson.
Rick 你和你的家人能来见证我和Tammy的结合 Rick, I am pleased you and your family
我真的很高兴 Could witness my melding with Tammy.
是我们的荣幸 Our pleasure.
是啊 我就是希望你们签了"结前协议" Yeah, I just hope you got a pre-meld.
Rick 什么 Rick! What?!
就是一种比较实际的 It's just a practical way of making sure
能保证她甩了你之后 That when she's done with you,
你还能拿回一只蛋蛋的做法而已 You can get one of your balls back.
天呐 爸 Jesus, dad.
他就是刚下了飞船心情不好 He's just grumpy from the flight.
哦哦 我 我坐飞船坐得很开心 Ohh, I-I was happy on the flight.
着陆弄得我不爽 I'm grumpy from the landing.
好吧 我看了一眼客人名单 Well, I looked at the guest book.
我们在这一个他妈的人都不认识 We don't know a damn person here.
嗨 我是Jerry Smith 是新娘朋友的父亲 Hi! Jerry Smith— father of the bride's friend.
做广告行业的 但是我目前待 Advertising is my usual game, but I'm between—
Jerry 别惦记发展人脉网了 我们在外星呢 Jerry, stop networking. We're in space.
"Jerry 赶紧找个工作吧 "Jerry, get a job!
Jerry 别在外星婚礼上找工作" Jerry, don't look for a job at an alien wedding!"
我真是弄不懂你了 I don't get you.
这是我这辈子距离 This is the closest I've ever gotten
我爸爸这部分生活最近的一次 To this part of my father's life.
我不想搞砸了 I don't want to blow it.
好吧 我懂了 我碍事儿了 Okay, I get it. I'm cramping your style.
你说你懂了但是我真怕你会继续这样 You say you get it, but I'm scared you'll keep doing it.
快看 来了几个人类 你可以先练练 Look, here's some humans you can practice on.
你们一定是Summer的父母了 You must be Summer's mom and dad.
我们是Tammy的父母 Pat和Donna Guterman We're Tammy's parents— Pat and Donna Guterman.
你好 我是Beth Hi. Beth.
这是Jerry This is Jerry.
所以你们的青春期的女儿要嫁给一个鸟人了 So you're teenage daughter's marrying a birdman.
你们两个人还满意(不觉得恶心)么 Are you guys down with that?
我没有要搞双关的意思 No pun intended.
我们挺骄傲的 We're quite proud.
他是个很棒的人 也是只不可思议的鸟 He's a wonderful person and an incredible bird.
但是还是 他多大了 能有40岁了吧 Still, what is he, 40?
就是 你知道么 It's just, you know,
他30岁的时候 她还是个孩子 When he was 30, she was an actual child.
他像她这么大的时候她还没出生 When he was her age, she wasn't born.
当他 我想想 18左右那时候 When he was, let's see, like, 18,
她可是真的还在你的子宫里呢 She was literally in there in your womb.
想象一下你怀着你的女儿 Imagine being pregnant with your daughter
然后一直青春期的鸟人跑来你家说 And a bird teenager comes into your home and says,
"那个我要了 我要跟她做爱" "I'll take that. I'll have sex with that."
失陪一下 Give us one second.
你是含着自己的脚出生的吗 Were you born with your feet in your mouth?
我是被迫被一个肉球 I was transported here against my will
带过来的 好么 In a meatball, all right?
收起你那脾气 都带去凯马特超市男装区去 So take your attitude to the men's section of Kmart,
别来烦我了(直译给我裁些长裤) 'cause you need to cut me some slack...s.
(此处是Jerry蹩脚的文字游戏 cut me some slack别来烦我 slacks长裤)
你去站在墙角 I want you to stand in the corner
面壁站好 别跟任何人说话 And face the corner and talk to nobody.
也许 我 会 吧 Maybe...I...will.
今天是鸟人的大日子 You know, you're not being very supportive
可是你摆出这副样子 不是很像来支持他的 Of birdperson on his big day.
Morty 鸟人的大日子 Birdperson's big day, Morty,
是在Glapflap星的第三个卫星上的血脊上 Was at blood ridge on Glapflap's third moon
与那些Gromflamite(星系政府的工作人员)大战的那一天 Against the Gromflamites!
这 这是一场必输的战争 This? This is a losing battle.
天呐 Rick 他又不是要死了 Geez, Rick, it's not like he's dying.
他要结婚了 He's getting married!
你稍微放开一点 I mean, what do you think's gonna happen
又能发生什么呢 If you open yourself up a little bit?
看看周围 I mean, look around.
都是你的家人和朋友 This is your family and friends all around you, you know?
今天给自己放个假吧 Take the day off.
不用逃跑 不用战斗 There's nothing to run from, nothing to fight.
这是他的姓 That's his last name.
你要加连字符冠上他的姓么 Are you hyphenating it?
屎瓜这个 傻逼 Squanch this, mo-fo.
说的真好啊Morty 不好意思 酒保 Good one, Morty. Excuse me, bartender.
你能给我调一杯"傻逼外孙心灵鸡汤"么 Can you make me a dumb grandson pep talk?
配方是一份 对根本不懂的事乱提烂建议 It's one part lame advice about stuff you know nothing about
加上大量的伏特加 And a lot of vodka.
嗯 我有不少伏特加 Mm-hmm. I have a lot of vodka.
那我就来一杯这个 Then I'll take one of those.
其他的部分我不需要 I don't need the rest.
天呐 随你便吧 Rick God, whatever, Rick.
哦 听起来你跟我爸在一起 Oh, it sounds like you and my dad have
有很长一段历史了吧 A long history together.
真希望我也能这么说 Wish I could say the same.
你父亲与我共同走过的这条路 The road your father and I walked together
浸满了朋友与敌人的鲜血 Is soaked deeply with the blood of both friends and enemies.
听上去很不错啊 Must be nice.
嗯 我以前都不得不用蜡笔 Um, I used to have to draw him
把他画进全家福里 Into family photos with a crayon.
我们共同的战争还远远没有结束 The war in which we fought is far from over.
我们都在躲藏中生活 We live our lives in hiding.
我应该为你高兴吧 I guess I should be happy for you.
我是说 真好 你俩能混在一起 I mean, great, you guys got to hang out.
希望你们以前玩得开心 I hope you had a blast.
星系政府认为我们是恐怖分子 The galactic government considers us terrorists.
我告诉你这些细节其实是不明智的 It's unwise of me to share these details,
但是我有点醉了 But I've become inebriated.
我不知道你能不能理解 I don't know if you can appreciate
成长的过程中没有父亲意味着什么 但是 What it means to grow up without a father, but—
这次婚礼的客人名单 The guest list at this wedding
包括了17位联邦最希望捉拿的罪犯 Includes 17 of the federation's most wanted.
我们曾以自由之名 We have committed numerous atrocities
犯下无数暴行 In the name of freedom.
啊 在那段时间里 An-nnd during that time,
我猜他没有提到他的乖女儿吧 I don't suppose he ever mentioned his daughter.
这个是迷你法式咸派吗 Are those baby quiches?
填料是蚯蚓酱 Night crawler pate.
我得为仪式做准备了 I should prepare for the ceremony.
真是对牛弹琴 Like talking to a brick wall.
以屎瓜 六大河 In the name of the squanch, the six rivers,
四屎瓜 和九球的名义 The four squanches, and the nine balls,
我来见证这两只生物的永久屎瓜 I unite these two organisms in eternal squanch!
Tammy 你可以屎瓜你的誓言了 Tammy, you may squanch your vows now.
鸟人郎君 Birdperson...
你是我的种子 我的虫子 You are my seed, my worm,
我的早起 我的无猫 My earliness, and my lack of cats.
我发誓与你相伴直到死亡 I promise to be yours until your death.
说得好 Nice!
轮到你了 Birdperson.
Tammy 在遇到你时 我已经快不育了 Tammy, I was approaching infertility when I met you,
然而我们还有时间 But there is still time.
我属于你一人 直到死亡 I am yours until my death.
我宣布你们结为屎瓜和鸟人 I now pronounce you squanch and birdperson!
我没在盯着你看 I am not staring at you.
我是个电子人摄影师 请自然一点 I am a cyborg photographer. Just act natural.
我正在抓拍（candid shot指被拍照者不知道被拍的自然抓拍） This is a candid shot.
我不需要相机 所以 I don't require a camera so--
抱歉 Sorry.
我没在盯着你看 Hi. I am not staring at you.
大家好 Uh, hi, everybody.
我叫Rick I'm Rick.
我第一次遇见鸟人的时候 他有点 呃 You know, when I first met birdperson, he was, uhh...
(越来越小声) (把纸揉成一团) (即兴发挥吧)
我不是宇宙里的最好的人 Listen, I'm not the nicest guy in the universe
因为我是最聪明的那个 Because I'm the smartest.
与人为善是那些蠢货干的事 And being nice is something stupid people do.
以此来弥补他们的愚蠢 To hedge their bets.
我还没挑明了说 Now, I haven't been exactly subtle
我到底多不相信婚姻 About how little I trust marriage.
我无法维持我的婚姻 I couldn't make it work,
尽管我能把黑洞变回恒星 And I could turn a black hole into a sun.
所以到了某一时刻 我们必须扪心自问 So at a certain point, you got to ask yourself
这是个正确决定的几率有多渺茫 What are the odds this is legit.
说不定这只是我们的自我欺骗 And not just some big lie we're all telling ourselves.
因为我们不想孤独终老 Because we're afraid to die alone?
因为 这恰恰是我们死的方式 独自死亡 Because, you know, that's exactly how we all die, alone.
天呐 Oh, boy.
老天爷 Jesus.
但 但是 正文来了 But, but, here's the thing.
鸟人是我最好的朋友 Birdperson is my best friend,
如果他爱Tammy 那我也爱她 And if he loves Tammy, well, then I love Tammy, too.
致友谊 致爱情 To friendship, to love,
致敬我至今最大的冒险 and to my greatest adventure yet--
向他人敞开心扉 Opening myself up to others.
说得好 Hear, hear!
干杯 [哔] Cheers to that, mother[bleep]!
谢谢 Rick Thank you, Rick.
非常感人 That was beautiful.
当我环顾四周 我对自己说 Gosh, I look around this room, and I think,
"Tammy 你就是个地球来的高三女生" "Uh, tammy, you're a high-school senior"
"你这就要嫁给一个40岁的鸟人了" "From the planet earth, and you're marrying"
"真是不可思议" "A 40-year-old birdperson? Like, what?!"
真棒 Tammy Yeah, tammy!
然后我又想 从很多方面来说 But then I think, you know, in a lot of ways,
我不是个地球来的高三女生 I'm not a high-school senior from the planet earth.
从很多角度来说 我实际上是个 In a lot of ways, what I really am
银河联邦局的卧底特工 Is a deep-cover agent for the galactic federation,
你们这群通缉要犯 And you guys are a group of wanted criminals,
这座建筑 这么说吧 已经被包围了 And this entire building is, in a certain sense, surrounded.
我靠 Oh, shit.
我不是很懂这是什么暗喻 I...don't get the metaphor.
一会再跟你解释 I'll explain it to you later.
所有人都被捕了 Everyone here is under arrest
罪名是反叛联邦 For crimes against the federation.
祝福新人 L'chaim!
Tammy 你这是干什么 Tammy, what are you doing?
把你的鸟屁股坐下 Sit your bird ass down.
Tammy Tammy?
鸟人 Birdperson!!
不要 No!!
我 Holy--
把传送枪放下 Drop the portal gun.
扔到屋子中央 Slide it to the center of the room.
来人把那个没收掉 别弄坏了 Somebody confiscate that and don't damage it.
局里的人还要 They'll want it at--
没时间屎瓜了 There's no time to squanch!
带上你的家人快走 Get your family out of here!
这里我搞定 I got this.
尝尝我的屎瓜 How about a taste of my squanch?!
快 走这边 Come on, this way!
屎瓜这个 Squanch this!
还好我捡了把武器 Good thing I grabbed a space weapon.
这是把礼花枪 蠢猪 That's a confetti gun, you idiot!
- 老爸 - 抓紧 - Dad! - Hold on tight!
啊 Aaah!!
啊 Aaaah!!
该死的 真是该死 God damn it! God damn it!!
刚才到底什么情况 What the hell happened back there?!
都赖你们 我说过婚礼都烂透了 This is on you guys. I told you weddings are stupid.
Rick 关于你和之前我们从没听说过的 Uh, Rick, is there anything you'd like to tell us
银河联邦之间的故事 About your relationship
你是不是和我们讲一下 With this previously unknown galactic government?
这还不明显吗 All the important points seem pretty clear, no?
他们自认为统治银河系 我不同意 They think they control the galaxy, I disagree.
别怪玩家 游戏的错 Don't hate the player, hate the game, son.
你怎么能对家人如此不诚实 How could you be so dishonest with this family?
难不成我本来该再敞开些心扉 更加有爱 轻信别人 Oh! Oh, should I have been more open and trusting
就像 我想想 And loving like, oh, I don't know,
就跟刚死掉的我最好的朋友那样吗 My now dead best friend?
或者像你女儿那样 Or your daughter,
找个死党 结果她还是个跨星系缉毒警察 Who is BFFs with an intergalactic NARC?
Tammy挺酷的 Hey, Tammy was cool!
- 现在知道为什么了 - 就因为你 - And now we know why. - Because of you!
[哔]你啊 Summer 顺带[哔]政府 [bleep] you, Summer, and [bleep] the government,
还要[哔]我 因为我松懈了 And [bleep] me for letting my guard down,
以后永远不会这样了 Which I will never do again.
积点口德 Rick Geez, Rick!
你怎么能对孙女说出[哔]这种字眼 You can't say "f--'f' you" to your granddaughter.
我就说了怎么样 附赠一句 [哔]你 I just did, Morty. Here's dessert, [bleep] you.
我们刚熬过一场可怕的婚礼 Look, I think we've all had a tough wedding.
其实吧 婚礼挺美的 Actually, the wedding was beautiful.
接待有点失控 The reception got out of hand.
不扯那些 我们还是回家洗洗睡吧 忘掉一切 Anyway, I say we go home, sleep it off,
然后明早开个家庭会议 And have a family meeting in the morning.
回家这事吧 不行 永远都不能 Yeah, about going home, we can't--ever.
什么 What?!
那群人正找我们呢 Oh, these guys are looking for us now.
他们肯定蜂拥到地球了 Earth will be swarming with them.
找"我们" Us?!
- Jerry - 我想回家 - Jerry. - I want to go home!
你们谁想回地球的话 Look, anyone that wants to go back to earth
随你的便 Is free to go back to earth.
但是后果是 But here's what's gonna happen.
外星官僚的走狗会逮捕你们 Aliens bureaucrats are gonna arrest you.
他们会拿星系里相当于跨接电缆的东西 They're gonna put the intergalactic equivalent
接到你的蛋蛋或者洞洞下面 Of jumper cables under your nuts and or labia,
然后另一头连上外星车载电池 And hook them up to an alien car battery.
一直电到你们说出我的藏身之处 Until you tell them where I am--
并且我保证你们不知道我在哪 Which I guarantee you, you're not gonna know,
当然 他们肯定不会信 Which I guarantee they won't believe.
谁想家了 掌声欢送 So who's homesick? By applause.
女士们 有谁要回吗 Ladies? Anybody?
我们怎么办 What are we going to do?
我们要住哪里 Where are we going to live?
放轻松 塞翁失马焉知非福 Take it easy. This is a blessing in disguise.
去[哔]的地球吧 [bleep] earth.
你知道我们星球名字的意思是"尘土"吧 You realize our planet's name means dirt, right?
我们会找到新世界的 We'll find a new world.
电脑 银河系里有多少星球 Computer, how many planets in the milky way
和地球相似度超过九成的 Are at least 90% similar to earth?
已知765个 765 known planets.
那其中有多少在银河联邦管辖之外的 How many of those are outside federal jurisdiction?
三个 Three.
看吧 比我们需要的还多 See? Our cup runneth over.
谁想去购个物 Now, who wants to go shopping
为这个新[哔]世界做准备 For a brand-new mother[bleep] world?!
走起 All right!
瞅瞅这宝贝儿 Look at this baby!
根本看不出这不是地球吧 Would you even know that wasn't earth?
当然看得出 这没有非洲 Yes, because there's no africa.
切 白种人就是事多 Morty Pssh. White-people problems, Morty.
我们着陆下去看看 Let's go down and check her out.
我以为还远着呢 这就撞上了 Oh. I thought it was further away.
这个 这个估计有点小 I uh...I guess this one's a little small.
那 那就 All right, uh, maybe...
那我们去另外两个看看吧 Maybe we should go check out the other two, huh?
这个挺大的 Okay, this one's bigger.
不错的样子 This looks nice.
老爸老妈 快看 Mom, dad, look!
玉米穗上长草莓 Strawberries on a cob!
来看看这个 Whoa! Hey, check this out!
玉米穗上开花 Flowers on a cob!
花和草莓都长在玉米穗上啊 Huh. Strawberries and flowers on a cob, huh?
真是酷炫 That's pretty cool.
那不会是 在玉米穗上的山吧 Are those... mountains on a cob?
我的天 Oh, my god.
- 快上船 - 什么 - Get in the ship, sweetie. - What?
快[哔]的上船 Get in the god[bleep] ship!!
所有东西都长在玉米穗上 Everything's on a cob!!
这个星球都在玉米穗上 快走快走 The whole planet's on a cob!! Go, go, go!!
好吧 至三必成 All right, third time's the charm.
看看这个什么情况 See what we got here.
看着还行 Seems good.
没有长在玉米棒上的东西了 And nothing on the cob.
虽然不知道那还得是必须的 但是 Didn't know that was a necessity, but...
这个挺好 我觉得就是它了 No, it's nice. I think this might be it.
大家看 Wow! Hey, look, you guys.
太阳升起来了 The sun's rising.
老爸 这地方白天有多长 Uh, dad, how long are the days on this planet?
电脑 这星球上白天有多长 Uh, computer, how long are the days on this planet?
42小时 42 hours.
只有这两个选择了 All right, well, those are the two choices.
因为"玉米棒"星不予考虑 'Cause cob planet is off the table.
我们投一下票 Now let's take a vote.
事情已成定局 Well, it's official.
这个寂寂无名的叫做地球的星球 The obscure planet known as earth,
星际恐怖分子 Formerly the hiding place of
逃犯Rick Sanchez的前藏身之处 Interstellar terrorist and fugitive Rick Sanchez,
现在成为了第6048个 Has just become the 6,048th planet
加入银河联邦的星球 To join the galactic federation.
这是个满是水和土的小球 The plucky little ball of water and dirt,
它也因此得名 Which is where it gets its name,
这颗星球被七十亿灵长类生物占据 Is dominated by seven billion primate-descended natives
他们喜欢吃意面 而且向袋鼠祈祷 Who love to eat spaghetti and pray to kangaroos.
意面 还有袋鼠 Spaghetti, kangaroos?
我一定得去看个究竟 I've got to check this place out.
你当然能 Well, you can.
详情请咨询旅游局 Contact the ministry of tourism for details.
下一则新闻 青少年把这个叫做 Up next, teenagers are calling it--
并且不是你想的那样 And it's not what you think.
你干什 你干嘛呢 What are you--what did you do that for?
为了戏剧效果 Dramatic effect.
大家早上好啊 Good morning, family.
我闻到的是培根的味道吗 Oh, do I smell bacon?
是 我们在新澳大利亚海岸 Yes, we discovered a species of tiny pig
发现了一种新品种的小型猪 Off the coast of new Australia
- 东边30码左右 - 或者说西边300码 - About 30 yards east. - Or 300 yards west.
我们本应给你弄一点吃 We'd offer you some,
但是一顿早饭就把那猪吃灭绝了 But we hunted it to extinction for breakfast.
我打算走到南极点 Well, I thought I'd walk to the south pole
稍微探索一下 And do a little bit of exploring.
有事的话 喊我就行 If you guys need me, just yell,
或者拿个什么东西使劲扔 Or throw something so hard
绕星球一圈砸我一下 That it goes around the world and hits me.
现在他走了 Okay, now that he's gone,
我们能不能谈谈现在的处境 Can we please talk about our situation?
老爸 我们不能在别人背后议论 Dad, you can't talk about people behind their back.
世界之小 藏不住秘密 You know, it's a small world.
得了吧 他在南极呢 Please, he's in the south pole!
我们真得好好谈谈 And we need to have a serious conversation.
发现南极点 South pole discovered, baby!
哦耶 Ohhhh!
我[哔] 一个冰穴 Oh [bleep], an ice cave?
我[哔] 真是越来越有趣了 [bleep], things just keep on getting better.
这是星球的核心 Wow, it's the planet's core.
我只是说 I'm just saying,
我们表现得好像只有两种选择 We keep acting like there's only two options,
但是不只有两个选项 But there's not.
假设我们回到地球 So, yes, if we went back to earth,
只要Rick还逍遥法外 As long as Rick was out there,
他们就会审讯我们 They'd want to interrogate us.
但是 我只是假设 But, and this is purely hypothetical,
如果我们向政府告发你爸 怎么样 What if we turned your father in to the government?
Jerry 以上帝的名义 Jerry, so help me god,
如果你敢再提这事 培根没你的份 If you ever bring this up again, no more bacon.
本来就没有培根了 There already is no more bacon!
这地方逊毙了 This world sucks!
我们活得逊毙了 Our life sucks!
为什么我们要牺牲这么多 Why are we doing this
就为了一个做事只考虑自己的人 For someone that would never do anything for anyone but himself?
这不是重点 老爹 That's not the point, dad!
我们爱Rick 至少总的来讲是爱他的 We love Rick...F-for the most part.
爱一个人不是为了得到回报 Yeah, you don't love people in hopes of a reward, dad,
爱是无条件的 You love them unconditionally.
说得好 宝贝 真为你们骄傲 That's very good, kids. I'm proud of you.
我把情况捋一捋 Okay, so let me get this straight.
在你们下半生里 For the rest of your lives,
不论他伤你多深 No matter how much it hurts you,
不论他把你孩子引入何等的歧途 No matter how much it destroys our children's futures,
无论什么时候 无论Rick想做什么 我们都得照做 We're gonna do whatever Rick wants, whenever he wants?
- 是 - 为什么 - Yes. - Why?!
因为我不想再让他走了 你个混蛋 Because I don't want him to leave again, you dumb asshole!!
嘿 呃 Hey. Uh...
我要去那边的 Gloppydrop星系 I was gonna hope over to the gloppydrop system,
弄点冰淇淋 Get some ice cream.
你 你想叫我一起吗 You, you want me to come with?
你不是需要我的脑电波 I mean, don't you need my brain waves
做什么伪装吗 For camouflage or something?
我没事的 I'll be okay.
再见 Morty Bye, Morty.
Rick Rick?
你不是要离开吧 You're not leaving, right?
我是要走啊 去弄冰淇淋 Yeah, I am. To get ice cream.
你还会回来的吧 So, you're coming back?
Morty 要是你去弄冰淇淋吃 Morty, if you go to where there's a bunch of ice cream
然后就不回来了 And then you don't come back,
那就不是"去弄"冰淇淋了 You haven't actually gotten ice cream,
你只是到冰淇淋在的地方了 You've just gone where ice cream is.
Rick 你要走 我能接受 Rick, I can handle it if you go,
但是老妈会伤心欲绝的 But you'll break mom's heart.
这一点我不会原谅你 And I won't forgive you for that.
那辆车呢 Morty Where's the van, Morty?
在地平线后面 停在车道上 It's over the horizon in the driveway.
英语服务请按2 For English, press 2.
联络特工 Connecting to agent.
调查中案件 Ongoing investigations.
你好 我叫Jerry Smith 来自地球 Uh, hi, my name is Jerry Smith, I'm from planet Earth.
我知道Rick Sanchez的行踪 I know the whereabouts of Rick sanchez,
那个通缉要犯 The wanted criminal.
请稍后 Hold on!
我是特工Gribbles This is Special Agent Gribbles.
你有Rick Sanchez的消息吗 You have a tip about Rick Sanchez?
他绑架了我们一家 Yeah, he kidnapped me and my family,
把我们扔在Terrace9号矮行星上 And he left us on dwarf Terrace-9.
他说要去Plimplom酒馆 He said he was gonna go to the Plimplom tavern.
- 还有 - 你说 - And listen. - Yes?
为了银河系 我才打电话告诉你 I'm doing what's right for the galaxy by calling you,
所以我们回地球之后 可不可以平静地生活 So if we come back to earth, can my family have a normal life?
我们只想抓Sanchez 你的家人会没事的 We only want Sanchez, sir. Your family will be fine.
很好 谢谢 Nice. Thank you.
我是Jerry Smith 我最喜欢跪舔大粗[哔] I'm Jerry Smith, and I love sucking big, sweaty [bleep].
还喜欢舔长毛蛋蛋 And licking disgusting furry testicle sacks.
呃 好吧 Uh...Okay.
Nine Inch Nails - Hurt
他不会回来了 对吧 He's not coming back, is he?
不会了 No.
有条子来了 Hey, look, cops.
早上好 Good morning.
你要在地球待多久 How long will you be visiting earth?
我们在这居住 Oh, we live here.
我们只是去参加了个婚礼 We were just off-planet for a wedding.
走那边 Go that way.
我探测到你正处于悲伤中 I have processed that you are in in distress.
我为你开了抗抑郁药 And have prescribed antidepressants.
银河联邦向您表示敬意 Compliments of the galactic federation.
感觉好多了 I feel better.
你现在欠7000联邦元 Your debt is 7,000 fed credits.
在就业处报道 Report to the ministry of employment.
你会被指派一项任务 And you will be assigned a function.
亲爱的 我有工作了 Honey! I got a job!
抱歉 我没有盯着你看 Sorry, I am not staring at you,
我在拍你的面部照片 I am taking your mug shot.
你因为什么事进来的 Hey, what are you in for?
因为一切 Everything.
真是跌宕起伏 Hoo-whee, what a cliffhanger.
天呐 地呀 Oh, boy, oh, my,
这结局真够扯的 是吧 That's a real crazy ending, huh?
嗨 我是第四集出现的便便洞先生 Hi, I'm Mr. Poopybutthole from episode 204.
正如你们所见 As you can see,
因为Beth 上次受的枪伤 I'm still recovering from the bullet shot
我还在恢复中 That I got from beth.
还记得吗 真是惊险 Remember that one? Ooh-whee!
快吃吧 猫猫 Come and get it, kitty.
这些小可爱陪我度过了艰苦时期 You know, these little fellows help me get through the day.
哦耶 Ooh-whee.
哦耶耶 感觉好多了 Oh, whoo-whee! Feels better.
这是一份大号加意大利辣肠的披萨 和 I got a large pepperoni and some crazy sticks.
你觉得这结局怎么样啊 Hey, what did you think of that finale, huh?
你觉得Smith一家人会没事的吗 Mm! You think the Smith family is gonna be okay?
我不知道你在说什么 哥们 Yeah, I don't know what you're talking about, bro.
一共12.37刀 Your total is $12.37.
你觉得Rick会出狱吗 Whoo-whee! You think Rick's gonna get out off jail?
你觉得他家人会去救他吗 Whoo-whee, you think the family's gonna rescue him?
你[哔]搞什么 快[哔]下来 Hey, what the [bleep]?! Get the [bleep] off me!
第三季播出时间 大概在 Tune into "Rick and Morty" Season three in, like,
一年半之后吧 A year and a half...
或者更久 等着看我们怎么让事情明朗起来吧 Or longer to see how we unravel this mess.
哦耶 Ooh-whee!