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Morty 出门前别忘了尿尿 Morty, be sure to pee before we go.
这次冒险可是道阻且长 This adventure is gonna be a long haul,
我才不想替你倒尿壶 and I don't feel like emptying the jug.
[翻译] NPC yjz 热心粉丝 Ender 走吃元 [校对] fuga se9fault
Jerry 你敢不敢让我把这傻逼活儿给自动化了 Jerry, will you please just let me automate this fucking task?
我没请任何人帮我 I didn't ask for anyone's help.
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欢迎你们二位离开 You two are welcome to leave.
妈妈让我在这盯着 Mom told me she wanted me to stay here
确保你不会死 to make sure you didn't die.
告诉你妈我不会有事儿 Well, you tell your mother that I'm gonna be fine.
我们的定位不同于专业字幕组 志在号召RM爱好者贡献个人力量 不断完善译文
别教孩子扯谎 Jerry Don't train your child to lie, Jerry,
虽说 你懂我的意思 圣诞节什么的 even though, you know, 'tis the season.
如果在观看中遇到任何错误翻译 诚邀您前往GitHub参与改错 该项目的地址是
那我亲自找她说去 Then I'll tell her.
我告诉过你 别再拿射线照我了 I told you, no more rays.
https://github.com/fjn308/Rick-and-Morty-Chinese-Subtitles 非常 非常 非常 期待您的参与
你拿什么射线照的我 What ray did you zap me with?
我刚把你的原子矩阵降到比空气略轻 I made your atomic matrix slightly lighter than air,
现在你的鞋子比空气更重了 and now your shoes are heavier than air,
GitHub CONTRIBUTORS：wegood9
这让你获得整体中性的浮力 which makes you neutrally buoyant,
我个人觉得 概念上这比耶稣的水上行走还令人动容 which I find personally more impressive conceptually than walking on water,
不过我知道个啥呢 but what do I know?
我又不是生下来就是个神 I wasn't born into the god business.
老子自己赚来的 I fucking earned it.
得先说清楚 我可没说你帮到我了 Just to be clear, this doesn't mean you helped me.
10小时后失效 It wears off in 10 hours,
续费请充30刀 and the next hit will cost you 30 bucks.
说的好像10小时后我还用得上它似的 Like I'll even be using it in 10 hours.
Siri 设置一个9小时50分钟的倒计时 Siri, set a 9-hour and 50-minute timer.
即将播放披头士 Playing The Beatles.
- 我要尿尿 - 不行 - I need to pee. - Nope.
来 吞了这条蜈蚣 Here, I've got a centipede you can swallow
你就不想尿了 that makes you not have to go.
我才不吞蜈蚣 I ain't swallowing no centipede.
什么 你以为蜈蚣愿意替你喝尿吗 What, you think the centipede wants to eat your pee?
这件事中 它才是受害者 You're not the victim in this transaction.
啊哦 爆胎了 Uh-oh, flat tire.
太空中难道还能爆胎吗 Rick How the hell do you get a flat tire in space, Rick?
显然是因为碰到了太空中尖锐的东西 Morty Obviously from a sharp thing in space, Morty.
这和正常的爆胎 It's just crazy how much it feels
也太像了点儿吧 like getting a regular flat.
啊不 不 那是我自己定制的 Oh, no, no, that's just my custom-programmed,
深度沉浸式的爆胎反馈体验 fully immersive flat-tire indication experience.
我也可以把它关了 我觉得这 I can turn it off. I thought it was cooler
比明星语音包要酷一点儿 你听这个 than the celebrity voice package, but here.
克里斯托弗·沃肯配音
爆胎了 你本该 走路的 Flat tire -- you should be...walkin'.
- 我能和你一块儿出去吗 Rick - 不行 电影里有这场景 - Can I come out with you, Rick? - No, I've seen this movie.
两个人离开船 Two guys leave the ship.
其中一个旋转着圈儿就没影了 One guy goes spinning away.
你待在这里安全得很 You're staying in here where it's safe.
- Morty 该死的 - 别嘛 - Morty, goddamn it. - Come on.
我从 从来没到过外边 I n-- I never get to be out here.
你们这些年轻人都把太空当成 Ugh, you young people think space is like
《周六夜现场》吗 "Saturday Night Live."
场场不落 连做梦都想上一场 You see it every day, so you dream of being in it,
可它却想把你体内的空气抽个精光 but it dreams of removing all the air from your body
然后让你永远在这飘着 and making you float around it for eternity
像具瞬间木乃伊化的尸体 as a flash-mummified corpse,
这就是太空的想法 所以滚回飞船里去吧 which is also what space wants, so get back in the car.
我倒感觉没啥危险 外面啥也没有 I'm not in danger. There's nothing out here.
实际相反 这外面什么都有 Literally everything is out here,
而且这和任何地方都不一样 我太忙了没空帮你 and unlike everywhere else, I'm too busy to help you.
那可不 你可乐于助人了 Right, because you're always so helpful.
- 该死 - 那是什么 - God damn it. - What is that?
这很明显 是一条太空蛇 Obviously, it's a space snake.
太 太空里还有蛇吗 T-There's snakes in space?
实际上太空里什么都有 Morty There's literally everything in space, Morty!
你他妈赶紧给我滚回飞船里去 Now get the fuck back in the car.
我要死了 Rick I'm dying, Rick.
我已经出现幻觉了 I can see the black mountain.
真要死的人才不会一直念叨自己快死了 People who are really dying don't keep bring it up.
- 真的吗 - 我也不知道 - Is that true? - I don't know.
只是我碰到的情况经常是没两下就死了 I'm just usually around people that die faster.
好吧 好吧 All right. All right.
让 让我分析一下蛇星 J-Just let me analyze the snake's planet,
然后就能造出血清了 so I can whip up an antivenom.
电脑 你可能得快点儿了 Computer, you might want to put a rush on this.
Morty越看越像90年代的日本鬼怪了 Morty's starting to look like a '90s Japanese ghost.
偷工减料模式 Cutting corners.
啊我天 这些蛇真是一团糟 Oof, oh, my God, these snakes are a mess.
190亿条蛇分成了一万个国家 19 billion snakes divided into 10,000 nations
世界大战一触即发 而战争是为了 all on the brink of global war over...
种族 race.
真有意思 How funny is that?
想象下 作为一条种族歧视蛇 Imagine being a racist snake.
“嘿 其他蛇 我恨你们 "Hey, other snake, I hate you
因为你们颜色不对 蛇们” because you're the wrong color, snake."
哦我天 你居然没笑 Oh, my God. You're not laughing?
啊 你快死了 Oh, you're dying.
他们在濒临灭绝之际 还能把一条蛇 It's a miracle they were able to fling one this far out
送上太空简直是奇迹 before they slithered into extinction.
哦我天 我杀了他们的 Oh, oh, God, I killed their --
怎么叫他 蛇星的巴兹·阿司匹林吗 What's his name, their Buzz Aspirin?
应该叫巴兹·布洛芬吧 Morty It's actually Buzz Advil, Morty,
还得说句 这可完全不是一回事 and, uh, this is totally different.
这是一条母蛇 It's a female snake.
多了个令人心碎的原因 There's an extra layer of heartbreak.
等等 等等 Morty Morty 你听到了吗 Wait. Wait. Morty, Morty, you hear that?
听 Listen.
蛇爵士乐 Snake jazz.
哈 蠢货 咱们走吧 Ha. Idiots. Let's get moving.
还有很长一段路呢 We've got a long way to go,
我可不想跟你共享蜈蚣 and I'm not sharing that centipede.
Rick 等等 回去 Rick, wait. Go back.
我不能成为190亿条蛇希望破灭的元凶 I-I can't be the reason why 19 billion snakes lost all hope.
没错 Morty That's right, Morty.
只有他们自己能做到这点 Only 19 billion snakes can do that.
那个物种跨不过这个阶段的 That species was never getting beyond this stage.
用伟大的Jeff Foxworthy的话说就是 To paraphrase the great Jeff Foxworthy,
“如果你在第一次接触外星人时去咬对方的脚踝 if you bite your first contact on its ankle,
那你顶多是个零型文明的乡巴佬” you might be a type-zero-civilization-neck."
怎么了 亲们 What up, homeys?
投篮 我懂了 Shooting hoops, I see.
嘿 谁有兴趣打个友好的赌 Hey, who's interested in a friendly bet
就赌这个白人会跳 that this white guy can jump.
喂 别把种族问题带到球场上好吗 Hey, leave the racial stuff off the court, okay?
哦 我以为街头篮球就要包含这种对话 Oh, I thought that kind of talk was part of street ball.
现在球场外啥啥都跟种族有关 所以就别在球场上说这个了 Well, now it's part of everything else, so chill.
咱 咱们刚才的打开方式不太对 We -- We got off on the wrong foot.
我叫Jerry Smith 住在郊区 My name is Jerry Smith. I live in the suburbs.
来这儿仅仅是因为我得到了某种力量 I'm only here because I have a certain power
我想在它消失之前运用一下 以示祝贺 I wanted to kind of celebrate before it goes away.
哟 咱们这儿有个纳粹 Yo, we got a Nazi up here.
嘿 我想你们是误会了什么 Hey, I think there's a misunderstanding.
来 看 看好了 Here, just -- just watch.
救命 救命 Help! Help!
快给我那只鞋 I-I need that shoe!
不不 别碰那鞋或者钱 No, no, don't touch that shoe or that money.
就让它们化作强力又让人费解的丰碑 Let them be a powerful but confusing monument
彰显我们街区的正直 to our neighborhood's integrity.
天啊 多棒的冒险 哈 Oh, boy, what an adventure, huh?
嘿 Morty 听着 我看得出 Hey, Morty, listen. I can tell you're pretty upset
你对蛇的事儿很不高兴 about the whole snake encounter thing,
那这样好了 so I'll tell you what.
我还是要该干啥干啥 I'm just gonna go ahead and avoid you
今天躲你躲得越远越好 for the rest of the day.
播放蛇爵士乐 Play snake jazz.
这 这只好相处吗 I-Is this one friendly?
这是条蛇 It's a snake.
你有 你有见过这只仰望星空 You ever -- You ever see this one look up at the sky
仿佛怀揣着更大的梦想吗 like it's dreaming of something more?
没有 但是 啊 那些红色价签的蛇 确实会 No, but, uh, all those ones marked with red sticker, yeah.
所有超过50美元的蛇都向往星空 Any snake over 50 bucks yearns for the beyond.
我我我见过他们那么做 I-I-I've seen them do it.
见鬼 滑仔 拜托 Ow! Damn it, Slippy, come on.
求您了 Ow! Just please.
我对不起你 I'm sorry.
Plumbus 居家常备 Everyone has a plumbus in their home.
首先 取一些Dinglepop First, they take the dinglepop.
妈的死怪物 Ow! Fucking monster.
强拍 Downbeat.
这傻逼游戏怎么算赢啊 How do you win this fucking game?
我 我们还没玩到过那么远呢 We-We've never gotten that far.
大伙儿 我不是让你们盯着点儿Jerry吗 Guys, did I not tell you to keep your eye on Jerry?
- 我们有啊 - 那他现在哪儿去了啊 - We did. - Then where is he?
可能偷情去了吧 Maybe he's having an affair.
说真的 有谁看见他了吗 But for real, has anyone seen him?
姥爷 你又把他困进画里了吗 Grandpa, did you trap him in a painting again?
我他妈鸟都没干 I didn't do shit.
你你你不是让他飘起来了么 Well, y-y-you made him floaty.
- 多嘴 - 啥飘 -Asshole. -Made him floaty?
我为了让他别摔死 把他变得比空气轻了一点儿 I saved his life by making his body slightly lighter than air,
而且再过几个小时就失效了 and it expires in a couple of hours.
失效 那他会从天上掉下来吗 Expires, like he'll fall out of the sky?
他不会飞上天 Beth He won't by in the sky, Beth,
除非Jerry那傻逼能把鞋给穿掉 unless it's possible for Jerry to fuck up wearing shoes.
- 靠 那他死定了 - 你当时寻思啥呢 - Oh, crap, he's gonna die. - What were you thinking?
嗨 宝贝 Hey, babe.
Jerry 你在天上吗 Jerry, are you in the air?
Rick告诉我 他让你飘起来了 Rick told me he made you floaty.
他让我飘起来么 噗 Made me floaty? Pfft.
Rick的世界观够搞笑的 Got to love Rick's world view.
是的 是我让他把我弄飘的 Yes, I had Rick make me floaty
好让我方便挂灯 so I could put up some lights.
我现在在灯店呢 Now, I'm at the light store.
滚开 Get away!
没啥事儿 店里有位女士要啄我 Sorry, this lady at the store is trying to peck me.
行 我挂了电话之后你可以帮我挑灯 Yes, you can help me find lights after I'm off the phone.
我们在Rick的飞船里 要不我们去接你吧 We're in Rick's ship. How about we just pick you up?
- 你和Rick在一起吗 - 为啥我不 - You're with Rick? - Well, why wouldn't I --
Jerry 我用克里斯托弗·沃肯配音结束后给我的某个设备 把Beth给暂停了 Jerry, I paused Beth with a device Christopher Walken gave me after a record session.
老实说 兄弟 你在哪呢 Real talk, buddy, where you at?
- 去死吧 Rick - 别闹了 Jerry - Go to hell, Rick. - Come on, Jerry.
我还是能听得出海鸥叫的 I can recognize the sound of a seagull.
那你能听出男士长裤 Can you recognize the sound of a man's pants
灌满雨水的声音吗 filling up with rain?
我希望哪天能做到 I hope to one day.
Jerry 我告诉你 Jerry, I'll tell you what.
因为圣诞节要来了 我还是得帮你一把 Because it's Christmas, I'm gonna do you a favor.
我既不会对你见死不救 I won't let you die, and I won't tell Beth
也不会告诉Beth你差点让自己嗝屁了 that you almost killed yourself.
- 像是个双赢的提议呀 - 你说啥 - Sounds like a win-win to me. - Come again?
老子要是活下来了 和你屁关系没有 If I survive, it'll be without you,
要是死了 这帐全算在你头上 and if I die, it'll be on your ass.
圣诞快乐啊 婊子 Merry Christmas, bitch.
老子就是耶稣基督 圣诞节就是给我过的 I am the Jesus Christ of Christmas!
和他在一起 ...I be with him?
我们俩都很担心你 We both care.
- Jerry 在听吗 - 在啊 亲爱的 - Whoa. Jerry. - Yes, honey?
就让我们去接你吧 Let us just come get you.
Beth 我好感动 Beth, I am so touched
你们都那么关心我 但我还好啦 that you care for me this much, but I'm fine,
我只是想挂上这些圣诞灯 and I just want to put up these Christmas lights,
然后 我会吞噬你的世界 and I will eat your world.
亲爱的 我爸在旁边听着呢 Honey, my dad can hear you.
要挂了啊 Got to go.
一会儿见 See you soon.
好的 Okay.
听上去他好像没啥问题 Well, it sounds like he's fine.
是啊 这回我都快为他摇旗呐喊了 Yeah, I'm almost kind of rooting for him this time.
请给我来杯82年的健怡雪碧 One Diet Sprite Remix, please,
还有 这里有没有谁是Uber司机啊 and, uh, is anyone here an Uber driver?
你不能把那块大石头带进来 You can't bring that boulder in here.
- 什么 - 我说了 不准带石头进来 - What? - I said no boulders.
- 这儿又不是湖 老弟 - 放下石头 - This ain't the lake, buddy. - Drop the rock.
呃 这石头其实有点儿 正经用途 Well, it's kind of a -- a service boulder.
没它我会飘起来 Yeah, I float without it.
大块头抱着块大石头 Big man holding a big rock,
就以为能打倒我了 think you can take me down?
没 怎么可能 你才叫大 No, obviously not. You're huge.
- 那就放下它 - 放下石头 - Then put it down. - Put the boulder down!
如果放下 我就要飘起来了 If I put it down, I'm going to float.
- 快松手 - 放下它 - Drop it! - Put it down!
还有说实在的 你们这酒吧房顶还这么多吊扇 And frankly, your bar has a lot of ceiling fans.
- 你以为你了不起啊 - 放下石头 - You think you're better than us? - Drop the rock.
- 放下石头 - 好 好 好 - Put it down. - Okay, okay, okay.
你他妈是怎么回事 Hey, whoa, what the fuck!
- 快停下 - 我都说过会这样的啊 - Stop doing that. - I told you this would happen.
那就别往上飘啊 Well, stop floating.
- 谁允许你飘到那去了 - 我控制不住啊 - Who said you could float here? - I can't control it.
带上你女朋友一块滚吧 And take your girlfriend with you.
Summer 你知道今晚我有多震惊吗 Summer, how supes shook am I
你的歌单真是屌爆了 about your playlisting fleekness tonight?
你喜欢这个吗 这是蛇爵士乐 You love it? It's snake jazz.
我弟弟在外太空被蛇咬了 My little brother got bit by a snake in outer space
然后他用轮毂盖儿杀了它 and killed it with a hubcap,
为了弄到血清 我姥爷扫描了蛇星文明 and my grandpa had to scan its planet's culture
结果搞到了这玩意 for an antivenom, and they found this.
是我的菜 It's my jam.
我认真的 蛇爵士乐现在是我的最新爱好了 Seriously, my new thing now is snake jazz.
你能像那样去改变一个物种的进化过程 Can you alter the course of a species' evolution
而不导致任何后果吗 like that without repercussions?
天啊 我不确定啊 Nancy Gee, I don't know, Nancy.
你能改变一下你变成超烦人书呆子的过程吗 Can you alter the course of being a giant fucking nerd?
对不起 Sorry.
还有 一会儿我们也得讨论下你的穿衣品味和体重 Also, later, we need to discuss your clothing and your weight.
好吧 That's fair.
什么鬼 What the hell?
发现目标 Target acquired.
有蛇 快回飞船里去 Snakes! Get back in the car!
Morty 我受够 蛇啊 Morty, enough with the -- Snakes!
发现目标 Target acquired.
外星人 我是被蛇反抗军送回过去的机器人 Aliens, I am a robot sent back in time by the Snake Resistance
来保护你们免受巨蟒军团伤害 to protect you from Serpacorp.
为了不吓到你们 我的外观被设计成了你们熟悉的样子 My appearance is designed to be familiar and to put you at ease.
要保住我们的时间线 就必须消灭那个猿人幼童 The ape child must be eliminated to protect our timeline.
Morty 你他妈到底做了什么 Morty, what the hell did you do?
我只是想做正确的事 I was just trying to do the right thing.
我找了一条活蛇 I took a living snake --
站我身后 我来保 Get behind me. I will protect --
为什么 为什么他们要攻击我们 Why -- Why are they attacking us?
我我我帮过他们啊 I-I-I helped them.
你向他们证明了强大恐怖的天外来客真实存在 You gave them proof that there was something bigger
现在他们一致对外了 你个智障 and scarier to unite against, you little idiot.
他们本可以在几代之内就 They would have gone back into the Dark Ages
堕回暗黑时代 for a couple of generations,
但他们没有坐以待毙 but instead, they dedicated themselves
而是竭尽所能来研发毁天灭地 into making universe-destroying,
不去掂量后果的科技 比如时间旅行 un-thought-out technology like time travel
而他们研发那些大杀器就是为了杀死 all so they could try to kill a little shit sack on Earth
你这被蛇咬了脚踝还舍不得蛇死的地球小菜逼 who couldn't let a dead snake be dead even after it bit his ankle.
下回你他妈给我老老实实呆在飞船里 Next time, stay in the fucking car.
2026年6月21日 170亿条蛇失去了生命 17 billion snake lives ended on June 21, 2026.
唯一摆在幸存者面前的 是新的噩梦 The survivors lived only to face a new nightmare,
蛇与机械的战争 the war between snake and machine.
蛇星·未来
最后 蛇战胜了机械 In the end, snake overcame machine
原因是我们没能预料到 because of what we couldn't predict --
一个来自遥远外星的小孩 会拯救我们 that an alien, a child from a distant star, would save us.
蛇星·现在
我我我们要去哪儿 我我我们在这儿干啥呢 Rick W-Where are we going? W-What are we doing here, Rick?
我们必须深入到蛇网的腹地 We got to get the heart of Snake Net.
赶紧 闭嘴吧 跟紧点儿 Now, shut up, and stay close.
反抗军就像老鼠似的 Resistance is mouselike.
嘿瞧 那哥们儿还真有点酷 Whoa, hey, look. That one's actually really cool.
过来 小伙 Come here, little guy.
你个狗娘养的 Ah, you little son of a bitch.
跟上 Morty Come on, Morty.
你的幼崽必须被消灭 Your brood must be exterminated.
你不能伤害她和幼崽 You will not kill her or her brood.
- 必须杀死幼崽和母亲 - 站我后面 - Must kill brood and mother. - Get behind me.
你的幼崽将播撒这个星球的所有生命 Your brood will seed all life on this planet.
- 那讲不通啊 - 那讲不通啊 - That doesn't make sense. - That didn't make sense.
啊这 这是滑仔 Hey, it's -- it's Slippy!
跟上 屎包 Keep up, shit bag.
嗨 你直接进了语音信箱 Hi, you went directly to voicemail
说明你的号码不在我通讯录里 because your number is not in my phone.
不要留言 Don't leave a message.
嗨 亲爱的 Hi, honey.
听着 Morty告诉我 你觉得 Uh, look. Morty told me that you didn't think
我可能会在挂灯时失手杀掉自己 I could hang lights without killing myself.
听着 我想成为你的爷们儿 但事实是 Look, I want to be a strong man for you, but the truth is --
事实是 我要带着最棒的灯回家 The truth is, I'm coming home with the best lights ever.
感觉到气流了么 Whoa, feel that turbulence?
没 我磕药了 Nope, I'm on molly.
给我也来点儿 Give me some. Ahh.
我猜你们这帮家伙不收贿赂吧 I don't suppose you guys will take a bribe?
还谁要腿 Anyone else want legs?
天啊 他妈的在逗我吗 God damn it. Are you kidding me?
我还以为这能有个时光机 I thought there'd be a time machine in here.
可他们连四分之一都没造完呢 They're not even a quarter of the way through making it.
我还得帮他们发明这玩意儿 I'm gonna have to invent it for them.
我 我不会蛇的数学 I-I don't know snake math.
啊我真不爱这么搞 Ugh, I didn't want to have to do this.
好吧 Fuck. All right.
咋 咋的了 你干啥呢 W-What's going on? What are you doing?
我在提醒未来的自己 为你这破事还得忙活更多 I'm reminding myself to commit even more to your fuck up.
嘿 混蛋们 Hey, assholes.
去你妈的 我混蛋那你也混蛋 Fuck you. Takes one to know one.
有没有搞错 What the heck?
- 嘿 老哥 你 你没事吧 - 你知道么 我干你妈的 - Hey, man, you -- you okay? - You know what? Fuck you.
- 什么 去你妈的 - 给你 - What? Screw you. - Here.
别闹 真有那么难吗 Come on. Was it really that hard?
你以为呢 咱们走 Morty What do you think? Come on, Morty.
老哥 我我我有点儿好奇 为啥我眼睛肿了 Man, I-I-I wonder why I had a black eye.
Morty 闭上逼嘴 穿上这些 Morty, shut the fuck up and put these on.
麻蛇理工学院·1985
行吧 所以我我我们在干啥 Okay, so w-what are we doing?
那本书里有蛇要做到时间旅行所需要的一切 That book has everything they need to create snake time travel,
而且它们是在蛇历1985年拿到它的 a-and they're getting it in 1985, snake time.
这样 它们就早早做了这事儿 就不会影响到我们 Now, they're gonna do it so early that it won't involve us,
有了这个它们甚至会变更蠢 and they're gonna be even stupider with it.
然 然后呢 Huh, a-and then what?
我们正在让自己脱离这个草率的 We're removing ourselves from this sloppy,
傻逼故事 并引导蛇通过时间旅行 fucked up story and letting snake time travel
吃下自己的尾巴 eat its own tail.
福特蛇剧院·1865
蛇柏林·1938
只要抓牢就没问题 Just have to keep my grip.
Jerry Smith 我是来救你的 Jerry Smith, I am here to save you.
你说啥 我已经告诉Rick了 我不要帮助 What? I already told Rick I don't want help.
我不认识什么Rick I do not know Rick.
我是人蛇杂交社群派来的 I was sent by a society of human-snake hybrids...
- 典型的Rick - 来自另一个平行 - Classic Rick. - ...from an alternate version --
我做到了 要着陆了 I did it! We're landing!
我就知道我能做到 I knew I could do it.
天啊 Rick 外面一片混乱 Jesus Christ, Rick, it's pandemonium out there!
这 这比我们离开时还要糟 T-This is worse than when we left.
Rick 快看 Summer Rick, look, Summer!
未经允许 谁也不能掐我脖子 Nobody chokes me without consent.
你 你把事情变得更糟了 Rick Y-You just made things worse, Rick.
相信我 Morty Trust me, Morty.
我们帮着踩了脚油门 We helped them press on the gas pedal.
只需等警察来把他们带走 We just got to wait for them to blow by a cop.
这里是Shleemypants 怎么了 Shleemypants here, what's up?
蛇 时间旅行 他们干了什么 Snakes? Time travel? They did what?
他们他娘的是怎么 好吧好吧 我来搞定 How the fuck did -- Okay, okay, I'm on it.
有个狗日的蛇佬星球报来了个10-51 We got a 10-51 on a goddamn snake planet.
别看我 我怕蛇 Don't look at me. I'm afraid of snakes.
“我怕蛇” 放你娘的屁 "I'm afraid of snakes," Bullshit.
你就是怕工作 那才是你怕的 You afraid of work. That's what you afraid of.
好吧 好吧 All right. All right.
我们去收拾这破事吧 Let's go take care of this.
哇哦 看看你 Oh, look at you.
你可真是条聪明蛇 是吧 You a smart snake, huh?
你在用工具哈 You using tools now, huh?
这些工具迟早会让你 Those tools are gonna turn into you
有能力操控他娘的时空织体 manipulating the fabric of shit.
过来 狗娘养的 你他娘的以为你在干嘛 Get over here, motherfucker. What the fuck you think you doing?
- 别他娘的乱搞时间 - 不许你乱他娘的搞时间 - Don't fuck with time. - You don't fuck with time.
- 我的天啊 - 发生了啥 - Holy shit. - What happened?
这总比它们攻击我们要好多了 Look, this is better than them attacking us.
还有 那就是你们能在时间旅行的故事里找到的所有和曲率有关的东西了 Also, that's about as much curvature as you're gonna get from a time-travel story.
知道吗 这回要算一次“Morty冒险” You know what? This one counts as one of your adventures.
- 搞什么 - 没有免费的午餐 - Hey, come on. - No freebies.
天哪 我还想去奶子世界玩玩呢 Aw, man, I-I wanted to go to Boob World.
这个嘛 现在我们去不了了 因为你搞砸了 Well, now, we can't because you fucked up.
好好反省一下吧 Got to learn a lesson.
你想去奶子世界吗 Summer You want to go to Boob World, Summer?
今天不想 Eh, not today.
唉 无聊 This sucks.
嘿 宝贝 快看 Hey, honey, check it out.
Jerry 我刚刚很担心你 Jerry, I was worried about you.
啊 和你们一样 我大概就是在这上头杀了杀蛇 还顺手把这些圣诞灯弄好了 Oh, just killing some snakes up here like everyone else, I guess, and finishing the Christmas lights.
等下 你其实一直都在这吗 Wait, the whole time?
所以我刚刚不停呼救的时候 你也站在这屋顶上吗 I was screaming for help, and you stayed on the roof?
我自己尖叫的时候听不到你的声音 I couldn't hear you over my own screaming.
我们以前讨论过这事儿的 We've talked about this.
好吧 你安全就挺好 Well, I'm just glad you're safe.
啊 废话啦 我当然很安全 Well, duh, of course, I'm safe.
嘿 看到了吗 混蛋 Hey, guess what, asshole.
我不需要你也能做到 I did it without you.
天哪 好疼 Oh, God, it hurts.
那是啥 What was that?
我把你的腿治好了一半 I healed your leg 50%.
另一半靠你自己 爷们儿 The rest is on you, big man.
这就对了 Respect 兄弟 That's what I'm talking about. Respect, my brother.
天 你爸真傻逼 好了 Morty Geez, your dad sucks. All right, Morty.
让我们好好享受一杯蛋酒吧 Let's go enjoy a little bit of eggnog, huh?
好呀 All right.
没这么快 伙计 Not so fast, boys.
没错 我想你们可能忘了点什么 Yeah, I think you might be forgetting something.
圣诞快乐 傻蛋们 干活去吧 Merry Christmas, fuck nuts. Get to work.
天 你非得这么得意洋洋的吗 Geez, I don't see why you have to be smug about it.
- 一堆垃圾 - 没必要这样的 - A bunch of bullshit - That's not necessary.
这也太傻逼了 This fucking sucks.
是啊 轮到你你就高兴不起来了吧 狗屎蛋酒 Yeah, it's fun until it's you, huh, shit nog?
祝你缝蛇佬服缝得开心 Yeah, have fun sewing those snake costumes together,
- 你个小乞丐 - 说得好 Morty - you little tramp. - You tell them, Morty.
天 你们俩也不用表现得这么混蛋吧 Geez, you guys don't have to be dicks about it, all right?
是啊 我们上一拨的那俩人也不用 但是你猜怎么着 Yeah, neither did the guys before us, but you know what?
他们就这么混蛋 圣诞快乐 你们两个屎包 They were. Merry Christmas, you shit bags.
没错 未来圣诞节之灵 臭婊子 俩傻逼 Yeah, ghost of Christmas future, bitches, you fucking idiots.
- 真刻薄 - 这俩人太刻薄了 - So mean. - Those guys are mean.
我好想拆开看看我的圣诞礼物 Man, I just want to open my Christmas presents.
我在等着你弄好这些蛇佬服呢 Well, I'm waiting on you to finish those snake costumes.
我快弄好了 管他的 I'm almost done. You know what?
这 这已经挺好了 我完事儿了 T-They're good enough. I'm done.
好吧 咱们走 All right. Let's go.
好了 我们着陆了 上吧 All right. We're landing. Come on.
真不敢相信我们就快弄完了 Rick Man, I can't believe we're almost done, Rick.
我马上就能尝到蛋酒的味道了 I can practically taste the eggnog.
嘿 你感觉到了吗 Hey, you know what?
我 我总感觉我们忘了什么事情 I -- I feel like we're forgetting something.
啊对 谢谢提醒 Oh, yeah, uh, thanks for reminding me.
Morty 下次 给我老老实实呆在飞船里 Morty, next time, stay in the car.
看懂了么 Did you get any of that?