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[翻译] Ng Otter 季叽馥疾己 Chrim NPC 走吃元 [校对] se9fault fuga
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如果在观看中遇到任何错误翻译 诚邀您前往GitHub参与改错 该项目的地址是
我的天 Oh, my god.
https://github.com/fjn308/Rick-and-Morty-Chinese-Subtitles 非常 非常 非常 期待您的参与
见鬼 Holy shit, oh.
这都是些啥啊 What are -- what are these things?!
你看我像是知道吗 Do I look like I know?
记忆中的最后一件事 就是我在一个洞里 Last thing I remember, I was, ugh, in a cave
看着某个湿漉漉的蛋 啊 那可能就是它干的 looking at some wet egg and -- oh, that probably did it.
我跟你说过别看那个蛋了 I told you not to look at that egg!
它太湿了 I-it was too wet.
轮不到你来告诉我该看什么 You don't get to tell me what to look at.
我都看过你的Pornhub账号了 I've seen your Pornhub account.
话说谁会注册Pornhub账号啊 Also, who makes a Pornhub account?
那样更有利于算法学习你的偏好 The algorithm learns your preferences better that way.
而且 如果你和另一半是那种酷酷的关系 Plus if you get in kind of a cool enough relationship,
还可以在P站上互关一下 you can sort of follow each other
了解了解彼此的癖好之类的 and check out each other's kinks, you know?
好吧 服了 我信了 Alright, god damn, sold.
- 我们怎么才能离开这里 - 放轻松 Morty How do we get out of here? Morty, relax.
他们只是抱脸寄生虫 They're face-hugging parasites.
我估计他们的社会不难驾驭 I don't think their society's gonna be that hard to navigate.
好吧 可能比我想得要难一点 Okay, yeah, this might be a little harder than I thought.
天呐 他们还有M&M豆专营店 Holy shit, they've got an m&m's store.
这不好 Rick 这这这简直太糟糕了 This is bad, Rick. Th-th-th-th-this is really bad.
冷静 Morty Just be cool, Morty.
我们要做的只是混进去 找到飞船 All we gotta do is blend in, find our ship,
然后赶紧撤 and get the fuck outta here.
Morty 这样 把这个戴回你的脸上 Alright, Morty, here's the plan, put this back on your face.
- 我才不戴这个 - 没事 它已经死了 I-I'm not putting that back on my face! Relax. It's dead.
好吧 这回是死的了 Okay, now it's dead.
快点儿 Come on, hurry up.
Rick 它在淌血 Rick, I-it's bleeding.
它 它在淌酸 I-it's bleeding acid.
啊 没事 应该是最后一点儿了 Alright, well, that should be the last of it.
如果还有 再拽它两下触手 If not, then just gimme two tugs on the arm.
看起来他们属于自毁型生命循环 Seems like a self-destructive life cycle.
我们也会自毁吗 Is that gonna happen to us?
你能感到肚子里有颗蛋吗 You feel an egg in your stomach?
- 没有 - 那就往好了想 -No. -Well, glass half full.
- 最近好吗 - 过得怎样 How's it going? 'sup.
- 荣耀属于Glorzo - 当然 -Glory to Glorzo. -Totally.
吾爱Glorzo Love Glorzo.
Glorzo即是和平 Glorzo is peace.
和平即是Glorzo Peace is Glorzo.
这就像大机器里的小螺丝钉们 Wow, just cogs in the machine, y'know?
- 会让你想 - 没错 确实会让你想把这些 Ma-makes you think -- yeah, I'm sure you'll make this
拍成一部你爸妈愿意掏钱的优秀短篇电影 into a beautiful short film that your parents'll pay for,
但是现在 Morty 我们真的只需要找到飞船 Morty, but right now, we really just need to find my ship.
你确定你不是在嫉妒吗 You sure you're not just jealous?
我似乎是这儿的名人 Looks like I'm kind of a celebrity around here.
未来属于Glorzo The future is Glorzo!
天呐 刚刚我还读到了你 Oh, my god. I was just reading you.
恭喜你啊 荣登纸媒 Congratulations on making it into print media.
真是前途光明 Real bright future there.
说真的 看到你俩一块儿出现我挺惊讶的 Honestly, it's shocking to see the two of you together.
因为我们都是天才吗 Because we're both geniuses?
不是 因为我看过你的视频 No, because I've seen your videos,
你他妈的让我很不舒服 and you make me fuckin' sick.
修理他 Fix him.
荣耀属于Glorzo Glory to Glorzo.
长官 您不应该这样到处闲逛 Sir, you shouldn't wander off like that.
我们一直在找您 We've been looking all over for you.
那个项目正在等您批准 The project is ready for your approval.
长官 这个人是在打扰您吗 Sir, is this man bothering you?
没有 他 他挺好的 Um, no, h-he's fine.
什 什么项目 Uh, what -- what project?
老天 我他妈到底是谁啊 Jesus christ, who the fuck was I?
有个科学事实他们不让我说 Here's a scientific fact I'm not allowed to say --
从生物学观点来看 我们寄生于宿主 是为了用他们孵蛋 Our hosts are biologically designed to incubate our eggs.
如果本视频冒犯到了你 那你就他妈滚吧 If that "triggers" you, fuck off.
如果没有 请点赞并订阅 If it doesn't, please like and subscribe.
每天都有新视频哦 New videos every glorzday.
天 我最起码也应该有钱吧 God, was I at least rich?
我是说 我是不是至少能靠视频恰饭 I mean, d-d-did I at least sell out
能卖出去点儿维生素啥的 and sell vitamins or something?
Rick 我在Pornhub见多识广 经验颇丰 Rick, I've watched enough Pornhub to know
我知道有钱人的单人公寓长什么样 what a studio apartment looks like.
操 God damn.
天 你手下的Glorzo干活真利索 Jesus, your Glorzo got shit done.
大人 我们听候您的指令 My lord, we await your command.
哦 是用 Oh, to...
它来射 射人吗 Shoot it? A-at people?
Glorzo即是和平 Glorzo is peace.
万物终归Glorzo All shall be made Glorzo.
荣耀属于Glorzo Glory to Glorzo.
这 是我干的么 I...Did this?
是你 以及你们带来的惊人科技 You and the amazing technology you both brought us.
是啊 这就说得通了 Yeah, makes sense.
那 那这东西要去哪 A-and where was this heading?
地球 大概是叫地球吗 Earth? Probably earth?
人类才称之为“地球” The humans call it "earth."
是 好 好的 首先 干得好 Yeah, well, okay, first of all, great work.
你们显然为此投入了大量的努力 You guys obviously put a lot of work into this.
- 嗯哼 - 你也懂的 显而易见 Okay. And y'know, it shows.
一看这就是个大工程 但是 I-it really shows. But um...
我 我想的是 你明白的 I-I've been thinking, and, you know,
也许我们应该叫停它 Maybe we should just call this off.
抱歉 还 还有其他指示吗 Sorry, is -- is there more?
没 没 Nope, nope.
我 我想 就 就这样吧 I-I guess, uh, that -- that's it.
不要Glorzo化地球了 Just don't Glorzo earth.
要是能早点儿得到这个命令就好了 Just would've been nice to have heard this sooner
在我们费掉一整天功夫之前 before we spent all day on it.
对 嗯 我 我也是刚得到命令 Yeah, well, I-I'm just hearing about it, too.
- 就是你下的命令啊 - 对 You ordered it. Right.
确 确实是我 I-I did, and, um...
我就这么一说 麻烦下次尽可能 I'm just saying for next time, maybe put more thought
在一整天的时间被浪费之前就 into it before a whole day of --
啊 好 我有错 妈的我就是让你们干了一天的活 Okay, well, I'm sorry I made you do your job for a fuckin' day!
我赶到这里叫停一切之前 你们看起来也真他妈忙啊 You look like you were all really busy before I came and fuck it all up.
天啊 这家伙是个天才蛤 但 Boy, oh boy, huh? This guy's a genius, but at --
但身为天才总得付出点代价 你懂吧 But at what price, you know?
你知道吗 我去你大爷的 Rick Y'know, fuck you, Rick!
Rick 是谁 Who's...Rick?
好吧 如果我们可以随便问问题 Yeah, well, if we're free to ask questions,
为什么你20分钟 呃 都没有眨一下眼 why haven't you blinked, uh, for 20 minutes,
并且 为什么 呃 你说话的时候嘴巴都不动 And why, uh, doesn't your mouth move when you talk?
啊 天呐 看看我 Ah, geez, look at me.
我 我掉在地 地 地上了 I-I feel down on -- on -- on the floor.
喔 让 让我 呃 帮 帮一下你 兄弟 Oh, let -- let me, uh, help -- help you out here, buddy.
啊 谢谢老哥 谢了哥们 这才像话 Ah, thanks, man. Thanks, pal. That's right.
我这下就回 回 回到正轨了 I'm right back where -- where -- right back in the saddle here.
好吧 去他妈的 快跑 Alright, fuck it, run.
我 我讨厌这玩意 我讨厌这的一切 I-I hate this! I hate all of this!
行 行 保持这种反馈源源不断 Morty Yeah, yeah, keep that feedback coming, Morty.
真的有帮到呢 It can only help.
- 喔 天呐 - 操 Oh, aw, man! Shit.
这座城到底建得有多大 How big is this city?!
就是说啊 你们自己二选一也得选好吧 是当抱人脸的虫子还是当基建狂魔 I know, it's like pick a lane. Are you face huggers or industrialists?
我去 负罪感全无的情况还真有点儿爽 是吧 Damn, feels kinda good when there's no guilt, huh?
是 就 就像是在《星球大战》里一样 Yeah, it's -- it's like in "star wars."
没错 就像是在《星球大战》里 Yeah, just like in "star wars."
疯狂杀戮吧 Go nuts!
漂亮 Morty 想的话可以吼一声“咿哈” Nice, Morty! Give a little "yee-haw" if you want.
星 星战角色总是像牛仔那样来一声“咿哈” They -- they always do a little "yee-haw" like a cowboy.
咿 咿 咿蛤 Yee-- yee-ha-- yee-haw.
还行 Good enough.
天 我真的需要这样 God, I needed this.
说实话 我有段时间没机会 Honestly, it's been a while since I've been able
放纵自我了 你懂吗 to just let loose, you know?
就纯找乐子 我 我 Just have fun. I'm -- I'm --
我很抱歉过去一直拿你出气 I'm sorry if I've been taking it out on you.
没事我懂的 知道你心事多 我的朋友 No, I get it. You got a lot on your plate, amigo.
我 我只是希望你有时候你能对我 I-I just wish you'd open up
更敞开心扉一点儿 你明白吗 to me more about it sometimes, you know?
- 我 我 我是你的搭档 - 谢谢 Morty I-I-I'm your partner. Thanks, Morty.
我是真心的 谢谢你 I mean that. Thank you.
有时候 我脑子里有点乱 你知道吗 Sometimes, I get a little in my head, you know?
嘿 老哥 你的脑子里是个不错的去处 Hey, man, that head's a good place to be.
记得时不时让我在那待一会儿 好吗 Just remember to let me in sometimes, you know?
会的 兄弟 啊我操 Will do, buddy. Motherfucker.
天呐 这可太有意思了 Oh, my god, this is so much fun!
完全不想停 I don't want to stop!
是啊 就像捏泡泡纸一样 Yeah, it's like popping bubble wrap.
拍着良心说 我很骄傲我们没那么干 Honestly, I'm proud of us for not.
完全同意 那样就太卑劣了 Totally. It would've been cheap.
是啊 只会捡些唾手可得的 我们比那强得多了 Yeah, real low-hanging fruit, and we're better than that.
另一方面 这个珍珠港 Pearl harbor, on the other hand...
可以 我觉得不算越界 Yeah, I think that's in-bounds.
我就是死神 I am the god of death!
本能成为更好的物种 Should've been a better species!
所以你们重现了911 So, you did a 9/11?
是差点重现911 Almost did a 9/11.
我 我们玩了一回偷袭珍珠港 We -- we went with a pearl harbor.
我们挺有档次的 We're pretty classy.
怎么你们的玩法里还有这俩选项 Why were either of those an option?
去问沙特人咯 Ask the Saudis.
哇 靠 Wow. Damn.
没错 就要上升到政治 Yeah, getting political.
我发表政见了 你呢 Jerry I'm political now. How 'bout you, Jerry?
你干了什么能给家庭添活力的事么 You got anything to add to the family dynamic?
我最近喜欢上了养蜜蜂 I've been getting into beekeeping lately.
蜜蜂怎么了 Is something wrong with that?
到底怎么的了 What's wrong with that?
我难道无权幸福 无权存在么 Don't I have the right to be happy? To exist?
我干不出911或者珍珠港事件来给早饭加谈资 抱歉了 但我也有我的生活 I'm sorry I didn't 9/11, Pearl harbor before breakfast, but I have a life, too!
- 也有我的梦想好吧 - Summer怎么样呢 - I have dreams! - And how's Summer?
她玩得开心么 Did she have fun, too?
Summer 当时 Summer... Was...
和我们一起 With us.
在那儿 There.
你也看到我们把她带上飞船了 You saw us take her in the car with us.
- 对啊 - 对 对 没错 - Mm, yes. - Yes, yes, of course.
确实是这么回事儿 Th-that's what happened.
- 不过现在她 - 困了 - And now she's... - Sleepy.
嗯 她 她困了 Um, she's -- she's sleepy.
特别困 所以没来吃早饭 Really sleepy. That's why she's not here.
一睡不起 So sleepy.
她困了 She's sleepy?!
这他妈什么破理由 What the hell was that?!
你连个屁都没放好吗 I didn't see you trying anything!
敢问瞎放屁比憋着没放强在哪里 Shitting in the bed isn't better than not shitting in the bed!
Summer到底在哪 Where's Summer?!
噫 天呐 Geez. Oh, man.
你觉不觉得我们对这些人下手太狠了 You know, maybe we went too hardcore on these guys.
是啊 你以为我们为什么从来不走回头路 从来不回去过的地方 Yeah, why do you think we never go back to a place we've already been?
你知道我们可以在“人类清除计划”星球来回冒多少次险么 Morty 还有齿轮世界 Do you know how many adventures we could get out of Purge planet, Morty? Gear world?
可我才不出续集呢 老子正直得很 I don't sequel. It's called integrity.
给你 扣回到脸上去 Here, put this back on your face.
- 你居然留着 - 怎么 想要新的嘛 - You kept it? - Oh, did you want a new one?
- 好哇 - 哟 - 'Sup? - Yo.
草泥马 就是他们 Oh, shit, it's them!
这星球上最大的两个灾星 The worst thing to ever happen to us!
嗯 合情合理 Yeah, that makes sense.
抱歉 Morty 胡萝卜不管用 Sorry, Morty, we tried puss-in' it.
该拿出大棒了 Time to go in hot.
Rick电脑 启动牛逼到多余的装甲 Rickputer, initiate unnecessarily badass suit-up.
来舔个痛快吧 Let's lick tits.
我们不是应该在找Summer吗 Shouldn't we be finding Summer?
对哦 呃 抱歉 注意力又被吸引走了 Oh, right, gee, sorry. I got caught up again.
我的天 阿德拉尔我是剂量不足 God, d-do I need to take more Adderall,
还是用了太多啊 or am I taking too much Adderall?
呃 就不该选剑的 Man, really shouldn't have gone with swords.
是啊 我手腕酸痛得要死 I know. My wrists are killing me.
改火焰喷射器吧 下次一定 Flame-throwers next time, for sure.
能给我上个激光鞭吗 Can I get a laser whip?
行 但我敢保证你会自宫 Okay, but there's no way you don't chop your dick off.
小夏夏 快跟我们走 如果你想活 Sum-sum, come with us if you want to live...
得不如现在好 我猜 at a lower standard than this, I guess.
神他妈 God damn.
女皇陛下 您还好么 Empress, is everything alright?
抓住他们 Seize them!
- “抓住他们” - 搞什么 - Seize them?! - What?!
- Summer 你个混蛋 - 别闹了好吗 - Summer, you bitch! - You gotta be kidding me!
*我遇到的困境没人见识* *Nobody knows the trouble I've seen*
知道这首歌吗 Rick You know that song, Rick?
出自 囚犯唱歌的那片子 From the -- when the prisoners sing it?
拉倒吧 Morty 去你大爷的 Come on, Morty, for fuck's sake.
我在服刑 我怎么挨日子还要你管 It's my jail time. I-I can spend it however I want.
喂 喂 喂 喂 大兄弟 喂 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, buddy! Hey, hey, hey!
别在这下蛋 滚出去 Not in here! Not in here!
呕 没收 Aw... Gimme that.
退下 Leave us.
- 你们他妈怎么这么久才来 居然撇下我不管 - 我们不知道你跟来了 - What the fuck took you so long?! You left me here. - We didn't know you were with us!
你们知道我他妈的得处理多少破事吗 Do you know how much shit I've had to deal with?
你都披风在肩了 Summer You're in a cape, Summer.
过得能有多差 How bad could it be?
没听说有悲惨故事的结局是披上披风 No bad story ends with a cape.
我的经历你屁都不知道 You don't know anything about my story.
我忍不住好奇 Gharkhul真的可以 "I couldn't help but wonder, was Gharkhul really capable
吞噬太阳吗 of consuming a living sun,
还是我太接近Gharkhul Or was I simply getting too close to Gharkhul?
Gharkhul是在吞噬我吗 Was Gharkhul consuming me?"
Rick 我们能听点别的吗 Rick, can we listen to something else?
安静点 她马上要开始召唤Gharkhul了 Quiet! She's just about to summon Gharkhul.
她说召唤Gharkhul的事情 She's been talking about summoning Gharkhul
都说了三集了 Summer for three episodes, Summer.
等一下 你嘴里是什么东西 Wait a minute, what's that in your mouth?
牙签 It's a toothpick.
我现在是个叼牙签的人了 要习惯 I'm a toothpicker now. Get used to it.
天 你就那么想有个标签吗 God, are you that desperate for a thing?
这就是我的标签 It is my thing.
而你的标签是注孤生 你的是打飞机 Just like yours is dying alone and yours is jerking off.
打飞机至少符合我的人设 明白吗 At least jerking off tracks for my character, you know?
我就是喜欢打飞机 我14岁 拥有这个标签我天经地义 I like to jerk off. I'm 14. I own it.
啊 那我还打飞机呢 你怎么说 Well, I jerk off, too!
- 天呐 我才不想去想象 - 够了 别说了 Jesus christ, I don't wanna think about that shit - Alright, stop.
- Summer 你留着牙签吧 - 恶心 Summer, keep your toothpick. Gross!
Morty 别跟你姐说打飞机的事了 Morty, stop talking to your sister about jerking off.
大家都装作听播客没那么无聊吧 Everyone pretend podcasting isn't boring.
哇 Morty 这个蛋看起来好湿啊 Whoa, Morty, look how wet this egg is.
我不懂 Rick 这看着也有点太湿了 I dunno, Rick. That looks a little too wet.
- 别 别碰它 - 噢 我就要碰它 D-don't touch it. Oh, I'm gonna touch it.
你们干嘛对着个蛋大呼小叫 Why are you guys screaming at an egg?
闭嘴吧 Summer 就让我们好好看看蛋 Shut up, Summer! Just let us look at an egg!
对啊 Summer 闭你妈的嘴 Yeah, Summer, shut the fuck up.
- 神你妈烦啊 - 没人他妈的让你在这 -Fuckin' shit. -Nobody wants you here.
你懂吗 有时候我们就喜欢在冒险的时候 You know, sometimes we like to go on adventures
- 看看湿润的蛋 你知道吗 - 我们可以走了吗 and look at wet eggs, you know? Can we just go?
这地方让我毛骨悚然 This place is giving me the creeps.
我他妈太爱这个蛋了 Holy shit I love this egg.
嘿 看 我的也在动 Hey, look, mine's doing it, too.
你们确定这样安全吗 Are you guys sure that's safe?
噢 天 Oh, my god!
万物皆为Glorzo All is Glorzo.
- 神呐 - 神呐 -God. -God.
神什么神 她只是叼了根牙签 God? She has a toothpick.
把牙签拿下来再把蛋放她脸上 Take it out and put her face in an egg.
- 神呐 - 神呐 -God. -God.
我天哪 你们出蛋多久了 For fuck's sake, how long have you been hatched?
才30秒吗 30 seconds?
我活了整整7分钟 I've been alive seven minutes.
- 先想想再 - 不好意思 7分钟吗 Think before you -- -excuse me, seven minutes?
我都活了29分钟了 Uh, I've been here for 29 minutes.
但没错 把她嘴里的牙签拿出来 吸附到她脸上 然后用她的身体 But yes, take the toothpick out of her mouth. Suck on her face this instant and use her body to --
这是啥 What was that?
这叫做责任 That is called responsibility.
他曾是我们最伟大一代的一员 He was part of our greatest generation.
他明白我们要做的事情就是吸到脸上 He understood that what you need to do is suck on a face,
拉出个蛋 然后死掉 shit an egg, and die.
等等 所以 你们就只是活半个小时 Wait, so, all you do is live half an hour,
拉出个蛋就死掉吗 shit eggs, and die?
是的 我们爱死这样了 Yes. We love it.
我现在就要做 I'll do it right now.
好吧 你们没必要非听我的 Okay, you guys don't have to listen to me,
但如果我为你们不这样做投上一票呢 but I vote you don't do that?
看看有谁准备好做出改变了呢 And who's up for changing things around here?
*是的 我孵自别人的蛋* *well, I was hatched from an egg laid by some guy*
*因为Glorzo之道本如此* *'cause that is Glorzo's way*
*我终将落蛋而赴死* *and then it came time to lay my own egg and die*
*但 Summer 她说* *but Summer, she said*
*嘿 Glorzo 不想你们走* *"hey, Glorzo wants you to stay"*
*荣耀属于Glorzo* *glory to Glorzo*
*意味着荣耀属于我* *means glory to me*
*如果我们只是下蛋* *if we're only making eggs*
*何时才能让Glorzo自由* *are we ever making Glorzo free?*
好吧 看 呃 我酝酿了有一段时间了 Alright, look, uh, this shit's been brewing for a while.
我说出这个并不是为了红什么的 I'm not gonna win any popularity contests by saying it,
但是这就是 这就是我眼中的世界 but here's -- here's the world as I see it.
*对所有已知的知晓* *and for all we know everything we've known*
*只是我们的胡编乱造* *is just some shit we made up*
*荣耀属于Glorzo* *glory to Glorzo*
*意味着荣耀属于我* *means glory to me*
*我们拥有太多的蛋 太少的彼此* *we got too many eggs and not enough society*
我意思是 你看 我们生来就是要吸到脸上然后下蛋 I mean, look, we are designed to suck on faces and lay eggs.
生活就是生活 这才是它该有的样子 Life is life, and that's the way it goes.
你好 Troy 你好 Jez Hello, Troy. Hello, Jez.
- 最近咋样 - 挺不错的 长官 -How is it going? -Really good, commander.
明天应该就能准备好了 Should be ready by tomorrow.
我喜欢这个回答 That is what I like to hear.
干得不错 荣耀属于Glorzo Great work, glory to Glorzo.
说心里话 Summer 我太感激你了 Honestly, Summer, I can't thank you enough.
你我相遇的时候 我们只会在山洞里拉蛋 When we met, we were just shitting eggs in a cave,
但你给我们展示了生命远不止于此 but you showed us life is about more than that.
它还关乎生活 It is about living.
现在 有了这些导弹 And now, with these missiles,
我们就能扩张到整个宇宙 we will be able to reach the entire universe.
我们不止嘴上不停说 我还真心觉得 万物皆为Glorzo We say it all the time, but I guess all is Glorzo.
是啊 听起来真不错 Yeah, that sounds great.
- 你也不错哦 - 是啊 -And you've been great. -Yeah.
你那么棒 就让我一直在想 You've been so great that I've been thinking
也许你该从我弟脸上下来了 maybe it's time for you to get off my brother.
谁是你弟 Who's your brother?
哦 这个吗 Oh, this?
都忘了他在那儿了 哈哈 Forgot he was there, haha.
等下 你说什么 Wait. What are you saying?
我是说 你很不错 Steve I'm saying that you've been great, Steve,
但是我们认为是时候开始新的篇章了 but we've been thinking it's time for a new chapter.
- 什么我们 - 这是Shane We? Uh, this is shane.
他将会处理日常事务 He'll be handling the day-to-day.
见到你很荣幸 先生 It's an honor to meet you, sir.
我可能只有两分钟大 但我知道你是个传奇 I might only be two minutes old, but I know you're a legend.
她根本不在乎我们 She doesn't care about us.
她他妈的只想把宿主要回去 She just wants her fuckin' host back.
- 我不知道该怎么办 - 现在你倒是来要我帮忙了 -I don't know what to do. -Oh, now you want my help.
- 太迟了 - 我靠 老哥 Too late for that. Come on, man.
这他妈的算什么 What is this shit?
你不能这么对我 You don't get to do this to me.
我们曾一起在蛋里 We were in eggs together.
去他妈的在蛋里 Oh, fuck! Since we were in eggs.
哦 对对对 现在你倒认同 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, now you respect, like,
生物学法则了 the biological institutions now?
滚你妈的吧 你就只关心 Fuck you. All you care about
“进步” 和社会 还有摩天大楼 is "progress" and society and skyscrapers.
你根本不关心生物学 You don't care about fuckin' biology.
哦 那你他妈的 Oh, yeah, well, what the fuck?
你 你怎么还没在这个老头子身体里下蛋 You -- how you you haven't laid and egg inside this old man yet?
因为我随心所欲 Because I do what I want.
因为必须有人坚持正确的事 Because someone's gotta stand up for what's right.
你为什么要那么恨她 Why do you hate her so much?
因为她把你从我身边夺走了 Because she took you away from me!
哇哦 哥们 我天 Whoa, man. Jesus christ.
- 不 我没有 - 哇哦 哇哦 不 -No, I-I didn't, I -whoa, whoa, whoa. No.
没事的 It's cool.
我也有同感 I feel the same way.
哦天 我 Oh, my god, I...
我梦想着我们可以吮吸彼此 I wish we could suck on each other.
- 我也想吸你 - 我要狠狠吸你了 I wanna suck on you, too. I'm gonna suck you so hard.
- 吸我 - 我们真能这么做吗 Suck me. C-c-can we do this?
允许这样吗 A-a-are we allowed to do this?
我不在乎 我只想要你 I don't care. I just want you.
这操蛋的一切 Fuck all of this.
我们赶紧离开这儿吧 Let's just get the hell outta here
想成为什么就成为什么 and be whatever the fuck we want.
这就是进化 这就是进步 That's evolution. That's progress.
我想要个家 我们会有个家吗 I want a family. Can we have a family?
会的 Yeah.
哦 老天 Oh, my god.
啊我操啊 Holy shit, oh.
- 这些都是啥啊 - 你看我像是知道吗 -What are -- what are these things?! -Do I look like I know?
等等 你怎么知道最后这段儿 Hey, wait a second. How'd you know that last part?
- 你当时又不在那儿 - 后面的我只好脑补啊 -You weren't there for that. -I had to fill in some gaps.
办公室的人都知道Steve和Bruce的事 Everyone around the office knew about steve and bruce.
我有个主意 你们听我的就行 I've got a plan, okay. You just have to follow my lead.
判决是 The punishment is...
- 死刑 - 操你妈 Summer -Death. -Motherfucker! Summer!
- 你说过你有个主意 - 安静 -You said you had a plan! -Silence.
Glorzo委员会说了 The council of Glorzos has spoken.
更像狗屎委员会 More like council of shits.
- Glorzo就是法律 - 安静 -Glorzo is law. -Silence.
判处死刑 The punishment is death.
以上车的方式处刑 By... Getting into their car.
- Summer - 闭嘴 -Summer? -Shut up.
是的 把他们放车里 Yes, place them in the car.
这些狗屎 Those pieces of shit.
不不 这是虐待 No, no, no! This is like torture.
不 我我我讨厌呆在我的车里 No, I-I-I-I hate being in my car.
你活该 你们这些垃圾 You deserve it, you pieces of shits.
为了确保判决的良好执行 And to make sure the sentence is passed,
我会和他们一起 I shall be joining them.
进到车里 In the car.
我们会驶离这里然后死亡 And we shall drive away from here and die.
好吧 Oooookay.
你猜怎么着 各位 Guess what, everybody.
是我 那个你们永远不想听的爱抱怨的家伙 It's me, the whiny guy you never want to hear from.
她是想跟家人一起逃跑 She's trying to escape with her family.
该我大放异彩了 My time to shine.
处决她 Execute her.
好吧 B计划 Morty 就现在 Okay, plan b. Morty, now.
我天 Morty 逊爆了 Jesus, Morty, that sucks.
好吧 别吹了 Morty Alright, stop playing, Morty.
我来搞定 I-I got this.
这就是我们进步的报应吗 This is what we get for evolving?
对不起 对不起 Sorry! Sorry.
我很抱歉 我们 我们觉得你们很邪恶 I-I'm sorry. We -- we -- we thought you were evil.
你们怎么会这么觉得 Why would you think that?
我们建了天塔来广播“Glorzo即是和平” We had a giant tower that blared "Glorzo is peace."
我知道 我 我 我们应该帮帮忙吗 I know. I -- should -- should we help?
- 呸 - 好像你这样真的有帮到一样 -Boo! -Oh, like that's helping.
明白 溜了 好吧 那我们上路了 Got it. Going. Okay, we're gonna hit the road.
- 你们 你们就这么一走了之吗 - 你叫我们走的啊 You're -- you're just going? You told us to go!
重申一下 我很抱歉他们干的这些 Once again, I'm so sorry for what they --
你也是同伙 呸 You're part of this, too. Boo!
我们最恨你了 We hate you the most.
快滚 Get out.
天哪 Summer 你为什么要让这种东西 Jesus, Summer, why'd you let these things
在我们脸上待那么久 stay on us for so long?
我的事儿多得一逼 I was working with a lot.
下次好好让我听播客就对了 Just let me listen to the podcast next time.
精准着陆 Nailed that landing.
好酷的蛋 Huh. Neat-looking egg.
好吧 我可不要收拾这烂摊子 Okay, well, I'm not cleaning up this shit.
也许我们 呃 也许我们还是别再提这事了吧 Maybe we, uh -- maybe we don't tell people about this one.
至少我们能学到些什么吗 Did we at least learn something?
学到我们很差劲以及所有人都很差劲吗 That we suck and everyone sucks?
我觉得算吧 I guess that counts.
一会儿见 屌子们 Later, chodes.
下次再喊我 Hit me on the next one.
你知道吗 Rick 我知道你肯定很想马上进入 You know, Rick, I'm sure you wanna jump
下一场疯狂冒险 但我们可不可以稍微休息一下 into another crazy adventure, but can we just relax
看看跨维度有线电视呢 and maybe watch some interdimensional cable?
- 你觉得好就好 - 老实说 我觉得这样很棒 I'm cool if you are. Honestly, that sounds great.
我们可以不必用力过猛 你懂的 W-we don't need to try so hard, you know.
我只要放松再放松就好 你懂的 Let's just take it easy and riff, you know.
- 我就喜欢咱们这一点 - 我也是 伙计 That's what I love about us. Me, too, buddy.
你有阿尔茨海默病的困扰吗 Do you suffer from alzheimer's?
- Reggie - 你有阿尔茨海默病的困扰吗 -Reggie? -Do you suffer from alzheimer's?
Reggie 你还好吗 Reggie, you alright in there?
Rick 你有感觉到 Mm, Rick, do you feel...
我天哪 我要拉蛋了 Oh, god, I have to shit an egg.
喔 天哪 Oh, my god, oh, shit.
好疼 天哪 Oh, it hurts. Oh god,
我们就要这样死掉吗 Rick 我们要这样死掉吗 is this how we die, Rick? Is this how we die?!
我不知道 Morty 我不知道 I don't know, Morty. I don't know! Aah!
- 我不想拉蛋 Rick - 抱歉 Morty I don't want to shit an egg, Rick! I'm sorry, Morty.
我很抱歉 是我的错 全都是我的错 I'm sorry! It's my fault. It's all my fault!
嘿 你俩 你们 Hey, you two. Did you --
Beth 你儿子快死了 道个别吧 Beth, your son is dying! Say goodbye!
- 你在说什 - 快和你的小宝贝道别啊 -What are you -- -say goodbye to your little boy!
不 别看 No, look away!
我要下蛋了 妈妈 我要下蛋了 I'm making an egg, mom. I'm making an egg!
你说过今年会少瞒着我一点事情的 You said you'd keep me more in the loop this year.
别看 Beth 爸爸爱你 Look away, beth! Daddy loves you!
我的屁股 我的屁股 My ass! My ass!
是这样了 Morty This is it, Morty!
这是首集重演了 It's full circle from the pilot.
重演了 Full circle!
噢 我猜我们 Oh, I guess we, uh --
我猜我们都只是拉了泡屎 I guess we both just had to take a shit.
是啊 我猜也是 Yeah, I-I-I guess we, uh...
妈的恶心 Fuckin' gross.
你们自己打扫干净 Guys, clean it up.
看看你爸 look at your dad.
真是个呆子 养着蜜蜂 Such a dork, keeping bees.
我意思是 这 至少还挺有趣的 I mean, it's -- at least it's interesting, though.
至少就 我希望我爸也养蜜蜂 At least, like -- I wish my dad kept bees.
我意思是 挺可爱的 I mean, it's kind of cute.
就说你爸养蜜蜂这事儿 Like... Your dad keeps bees.
你爸多大了 How old is your dad?
很明显是到了养蜜蜂的年纪 He's obviously beekeeping age.
说不清 我就觉得挺甜的 I don't know, I think it's kind of sweet.
Summer 我想上了你爸 Summer, I want to fuck your dad.
真的假的 好意外呢 Oh, really?