本字幕由Nicolas Bourbaki调轴及合并双语 首先发布于SubHD
转载请注明来源保留信息 开源分享的互联网精神你有我有大家有
撑着点，瑞克，已经快到了 C'mon, Rick. We're almost there.
别管我，莫蒂，这是唯一的办法 Leave me, Morty. It's the only way.
Nicolas Bourbaki不建议也不对任何利用本字幕生成的视频负责
什么… What... Were... What... Were we...
我们是刀锋战士吗？真酷 Were we Blades in that one? That's fucking tight.
撑着点 Just stay with me.
欢迎大家到我们的仓库协助改错：https://github.com/N-Bourbaki/Rick-and-Morty-Chinese-Subtitles
我好怕，莫蒂，我能看到终点了 I'm... I'm scared, Morty. I can see the end.
我太傻了，我太渺小了 I'm a silly man. I'm a silly, small man.
很抱歉把你扯进来 I'm... I'm sorry I got you into this.
让我来解决这个问题，如何？ Then how about I get us outta this?
－喂？ －嘿，洁西卡 - Hello? - Hey, Jessica.
我是跟你同校的莫蒂 It's Morty. From school.
嘿，莫蒂，你好吗？ Oh, hey, Morty. What's up?
我只是想说，你很棒 Um, I just want to say that you're really great.
我知道我们每次都抓不好时机 I know the timing never really worked out
但你真的很棒，我好想更了解你 but you're great, and I wish I got to know you better.
还真是突然 Oh. I mean... That's a lot.
对，抱歉，我只是… Oh, uh, yeah, sorry. I guess I just...
不，你该早点说的 No, I just wish you said it sooner.
－什么？ －对，紧张 - What? - Yeah, I mean, being nervous
有时候其实很自私 is sort of selfish sometimes, y'know?
－对，有道理 －维生系统故障 - Yeah, that's a great point. - Life support systems failing.
你今晚有事吗？ Well, what are you doing tonight?
－今晚？ －对 - Tonight? - Yeah.
想不想一起看电影之类的？ Do you want to watch a movie or something?
好，今晚，没问题 Um, yeah. Tonight. Sounds great.
糟了 Holy shit. Holy shit.
糟了，拜托… Come on, come on!
－这是哪里？ －到家了，瑞克 - Where are we? - We're home, Rick.
我降落在海上 I landed us in the ocean.
海？地球的海？ The ocean? The ocean on Earth?
－对，应该是 －这下完蛋了 - Uh, yeah, I guess so. - Oh, shit.
我们得离开，他妈的马上离开 Holy shit. We have to go. We have to go right fucking now.
－啥？ －你碰到海了 - What? - You touched the ocean, Morty!
－为什么不能… －糟了，完蛋了… - What's the big... - Oh, fuck. Shit.
－怎么了？ －操 - What? - Shit.
理查德，你亵渎了 Richard! You have desecrated
海陆神圣条约 the sacred treaty betwixt land and sea.
准备承受劲敌 Now face the wrath of your once and eternal foe...
宁波先生的怒火 Mr. Nimbus!
－不好意思，他是谁？ －我的劲敌 - Sorry. Who is that? - My... nemesis.
－什么？ －我的劲敌，好吗？ - What? - My fucking nemesis, okay?
好，但他叫什么？ Okay, but what was his name again?
我是宁波先生 I am Mr. Nimbus!
他会一直讲 He's gonna say that a lot.
等等，到底是谁要来？ W-Wait, so who is coming over again?
－好像说是劲敌？ －瑞克有劲敌？ - He said his nemesis. - Rick has a nemesis?
－好像是 －他提过那个人吗？ - I guess. - Has he mentioned him before?
我才要问你吧？我都没听说过 I was gonna ask you. First I'm hearing it.
他是谁？魔术师？ Who is he? Like, a magic guy?
瑞克是科学家，他是魔术师？ Rick's science, and he's magic?
－他应该算是鱼？ －一条鱼 - He's, like... a fish? - A fish.
他不是鱼，他叫宁波先生 He's not a fish, he's Mr. Nimbus.
他是海王兼混蛋 He's king of the ocean, and he's a piece of shit.
你满意了吗，莫蒂？ Are you happy, Morty?
碰到海开心吗？ Are you happy you touched the ocean?
他随时会到，来帮我做准备 He's gonna be here any minute. Just help me smooth this over
否则他一定会造成更多麻烦 or this guy's gonna become more trouble than he's worth.
嘿，我今晚无法帮你太多，瑞克 Um, hey, I don't know how much I can help out tonight, Rick.
洁西卡要来跟我一起看电影 Jessica's coming over, just to, like, watch a movie or something
但这是很棒的一步 but, y'know, that's a good step.
或许会有很好的发展，对吧？ That's a solid step to something, y'know?
真的没人在乎你下面，莫蒂 Truly, nobody cares about your dick, Morty.
你越快认清这点越好 The sooner you learn that, the better.
你不希望我幸福 I think you just don't want me happy
想继续使唤我 'cause then I'll stop doing your crazy chores.
相信我，你搞出那场海洋闹剧 Trust me, after that ocean fuck-up
你别想多做任何事 you don't get to do anything crazy.
我一边假装跟宁波谈和平条约时 While I bullshit my way through this peace summit treaty with Nimbus
桑美会潜入马里亚纳海沟 Summer is gonna dive into the Marianas Trench
寻找赋予他力量的神奇贝壳 to recover the forbidden shell that gives him his power
因为桑美值得信任 because Summer can be trusted.
我们来舔咪咪 Let's lick tits.
－我不喜欢 －好，什么？ - I don't love that. - Okay, what?
那当然，因为你们没性生活 Of course you don't. Cause you guys aren't getting any.
其实我们最近非常性积极 Actually, your father and I have been very sexpositive lately.
王医师建议我们多多尝试 - Eww. - Dr. Wong suggested we experiment.
我们最近会 We've been watching pornography.
－一起看色情片 －好恶 - Together. - Gross!
我不想从海里回来了 I might never come back from the ocean.
你得低调点，宝贝 You'll have to tone it down, babe.
这些凡人承受不了 The squares can't handle it.
你们的牙齿里都有自杀胶囊 There are suicide capsules in all of your teeth.
可以用用，莫蒂 Do what you want with that. C'mon, Morty.
你负责处理酒 You're on booze duty.
好，宁波只喝高级货 Okay, Nimbus only drinks the good shit
所以把这酒丢进去 so just toss this whale-ass ocean wine in here
放个几世纪 and age it up a few centuries.
在里面时间过得比较快吗？ So, time moves faster in there?
像纳尼亚一样吗？ Is it like a Narnia thing?
我不是信上帝的海狸，莫蒂 I'm not a beaver who believes in Jesus Christ, Morty.
但确实就像纳尼亚那样 But yeah, it's pretty much a Narnia thing.
－但洁西卡… －你只负责端酒 - Okay, but Jessica... - All you have to do is bring wine.
－我拜托过你什么吗？ －你… - When do I ask you for anything? - When do you...
我好几年没完整上过一周的课了 I haven't been to a full week of school in years!
我什么都不会，这是为了什么？ I don't know shit! And for what?
你到底有多少敌人？ How many enemies do you have to have?
为何老爱起冲突？ Why is everything a fight with you?
你要早点看清 You might want to learn this early, Morty.
－人生充满了冲突 －跟宁波先生吗？ - Life is a fight. - With Mr. Nimbus?
你在笑我吗？ Are you makin' fun of me?
宁波先生是冷血下体杀手，莫蒂 Mr. Nimbus is an ice-cold dick killer, Morty.
我们走，那是他的魔法海洋号角 Okay, let's go. That's his magic ocean horn.
他是宁波先生吗？ Is that Mr. Nimbus?
－宁波 －理查德 - Nimbus. - Richard.
你气色真差 You look like ass.
速战速决吧 Let's get this over with.
抱歉，就是他吗？ I'm sorry. This is the guy?
－杰瑞 －等等，不 - Jerry... - Hold on. No.
你是上过星球的人 I've seen you fuck a planet
竟然怕他？ and this is the guy you're afraid of?
我喜欢这个，瑞克 I like this one, Rick.
他很健全且狂野 He is unbroken. Untamed.
或许我们应该把牵绳拉紧一点 Perhaps he could use a firmer grip upon his leash.
好，够了，我要报警了 Okay, that's enough. I'm calling the police.
－没问题 －杰瑞 - Go ahead. - Jerry.
－我真的会 －我能控制警察 - I will! - Good. I control them.
－什么？ －能控制警察，杰瑞 - Excuse me? - He controls police, Jerry.
对，我如果会相信就太蠢了 Right, that tracks. In Dumb World.
警察？ 有个淫荡海男在我家门口 Police? A strange horny ocean man is on my lawn.
这应该不重要，但我们是白人 Well, I don't see how that's relevant, but we're white.
不许动 Freeze!
打架 Fight.
做爱 fuck.
－离开 －我们走 - Flee. - Let's get outta here.
－来吧，理查德？ －他怎么… - Shall we, Richard? - Okay, but how did he...
天啊，杰瑞，他是宁波先生 Jesus Christ, Jerry. He's Mr. Nimbus.
他能控制警察 He controls the police!
你们好？我有走错地方吗？ Um, hello? Am I in the right place?
我刚刚看到一群警察在做爱？ I just saw a bunch of cops having sex with each other?
嗨，洁西卡，你好，对… 你没走错地方 Hi! Jessica! Hi! Yeah, yup, you're in the right spot.
各位，这位是洁西卡 Uh, everyone, this is Jessica.
他们是我家人，这位是… This is everybody. Uh, this is...
－我是宁波先生 －宁波，进来 - I am Mr. Nimbus. - Jesus, Nimbus, just get inside.
莫蒂，去拿酒 Morty, grab the wine.
好，等一下，进来吧，洁西卡 Yeah, in a minute. C'mon, Jessica.
让开 Stand aside.
除非你们配得上宁波 Unless you are worthy of Nimbus.
如果你指的是那个意思 If that means what I think it means
我可以告诉你，我们会一起看片 I'll have you know we watch porn together.
天啊，宁波先生对你们点头了 Wow, okay. Looks like you guys just got the nod.
－点头？ －宁波先生 - The nod? - Mr. Nimbus has
直觉很准 a sense for these things.
你们应该是性积极的夫妇吧？ I take it you're a sexpositive couple?
－对，非常 －我们会一起看片 - Oh, yeah. Very much so. - We watch porn together.
很好，那我就帮你们登记三人行 Great! I'll mark you down as eligible for a threeway.
这是相关资料 Here's all the information you'll need.
海王想跟我们三人行？ The king of the ocean wants to have a threesome with us?
你们可以选择 Totally optional
不过机会难得，我保证，我很嫉妒你们 but a remarkable option to have, I assure you. Very jealous.
最后一页有表单 There's a form on the last page
请填写收礼物篮的地址 so we know where to send the gift basket.
竟然有这种事 So, that just happened.
你好像不排斥 You don't sound... upset about it.
你也是 Neither do you.
天啊，我们真的遇到这种事？ Oh, my god. Is this happening? To us?
我以为这种事 只会在纽约或HBO上发生 I thought this only happened in New York or on HBO.
王医师一向都是对的 Dr. Wong hasn't been wrong yet.
没错，这就是她想要我们做的事 You're right. This is exactly what she was talking about.
你可以当自己家 So, uh, yeah. Just make yourself comfortable.
选一部电影 Y'know, choose a movie, or...
或是一起看跨维度有线电视 or we can watch some interdimensional cable if you want.
请继续收看任天堂69 We now return to Nintendo 69.
任天堂，你在干吗？ Nintendo, oh, what are you doing to me?
任天堂… Oh, Nintendo, oh, Nin...
我们也可以看你想看的东西 Or we can watch whatever, y'know. Whatever you're into.
莫蒂，你是不是要负责拿酒？ Morty, did I hear you're getting wine?
对，我得端酒给宁波先生 Yeah, I gotta get some wine for Mr. Nimbus.
－有多的吗？ －当然… - Got any extra? - Oh. Uh, yeah.
－我可以拿来 －太好了 - Yeah, yeah, I'll go get some. - Cool.
－给你喝 －快点回来 - Just for you. - Hurry back.
看来你好像需要帮忙？ Looks like you could use a hand.
嘿，对，太好了 Oh, hey! Yeah, that'd be great.
－没问题 －小蹄？吃晚餐了 - No problem. - Hoovy? Dinner's ready!
我马上回来，宝贝 Be right there, sugar hoof.
我先帮这年轻人搬东西过去 Just helping this young man through a portal
这些放好几十年的酒 with that crate full of alcohol that's been here for decades.
谢了，小蹄，谢谢你的帮忙 Hey, thanks, Hoovy. I really appreciate that.
有个女生来我家，我很喜欢她 I got a girl over, and I really, really like her.
－我只是很紧张 －我懂 - I'm just nervous. - Oh, I know that feeling.
我刚开始跟波娃交往时 When I first started seeing Bova
我满脑子都很担心自己会搞砸 I could only think about all the ways I was gonna mess it up.
－后来怎么办？ －我搞砸了 - So, what'd you do? - Oh, I messed it up.
但我找到了能接纳我这点的人 But I found the one who loves me for that.
谢谢，我需要你的鼓励 Thanks. I really needed to hear that.
－来，拿一瓶走吧 －不用了 - Here, take one of these. - Oh, you don't have to.
不，我坚持，祝你有美好的一天，小蹄 No, I want to. You have a good day, Hoovy.
祝你跟那个女生玩得开心 You have a great time with that lady up there.
－放轻松 －没问题 - Just relax. - Will do!
波娃？ Bova?
你为什么离开我们，爸？ Why did you leave us, Father?
贾费？你什么时候出生的？ Japheth? When were you born?
我向妈发过誓，只要遇到你，我就会为她复仇 I swore to Mother if I ever met you, I'd avenge her.
不是我的错 It... wasn't... my fault.
那是谁的错？谁啊？ Whose, then? Whose?
从魔法门来的那个小男孩 The boy... from the... magic door.
－我们来讨论条约内容，好吗？ －好 - Shall we discuss terms? - Yeah, fine.
没问题，内容 Whatever. Terms.
第一条，我是海王 Term number one, I am King of the Ocean.
我拉屎的地方？好 The place I shit? Go ahead.
第二条，别在海里拉屎 Term number two, stop shitting in the ocean.
我听不懂 No idea what you're talking about.
真好喝，再来一瓶 Delicious. Another.
我其实想拿这瓶… Oh, uh, well, I was thinking of using this one for...
莫蒂，快给他，天啊 Morty, just give him the bottle. God damn.
再来 Another!
莫蒂，拿到酒了吗？ Morty, you get the wine?
洁西卡，抱歉 Hey, Jessica. Um, yeah, sorry.
我正要回去拿 I just... just going back to get it.
你不是刚去了？ Oh. I thought you already went.
对，但我有点事 I did! I just... just got a little busy.
我现在再去一次 Going right now, again!
你先准备电影 You go ahead and fire up that movie!
没关系，我等你回来 That's okay. I'll wait for you.
天啊… Holy shit, holy shit, holy shit, holy shit!
我等你好久了 I've been waiting for you.
天啊，你是小蹄，对吧？ Oh, wow. Hoovy, right?
别说他的名字 Never say his name!
天啊 Jesus Christ!
为何每个老人都这么壮？ Why... Why is every old guy super jacked?
抱歉，我只是要拿酒 Sorry! I'm sorry! I just need the wine!
－抱歉，停 －我要杀死你 - I'm sorry! Stop it! - fucking kill you!
好吧，算了 Ow! Okay, screw this!
知道吗？ You know what?
－是你 －对，去死吧，小蹄 - You! - Yeah, fuck you, Hoovy!
－爸？ －就是他 - Father? - It's him!
－我就说他会再来 －天啊 - I told you he'd come back! - Holy shit.
好，但他十秒钟前还没这么老 Okay, look, he wasn't old like ten seconds ago.
王八蛋 Ow! Motherfucker!
抱歉，爸，抱歉，我们应该要相信你的 I'm sorry, Father. I'm sorry we never believed.
他会回来的，你们要阻止他… He'll come back. Stop him.
阻止他 Stop him.
爸，我们干吗守门？ Papa, why do we guard the gate?
因为黑暗之子总有一天会再来 Because one day, the dark child shall return.
而我们会做好准备 And we will be ready.
好吃，负责端酒的人呢？ Delicious. Where is your wine boy, Richard?
－我好渴 －他去拿了 - I thirst. - He's getting it.
别这样吃贝涅饼 Stop eating beignets like that.
＂参与者若因高潮而死，不得求偿＂？ "Participant voids all liability in the event of death by orgasm"?
我们真的要这样做吗？ Are we really ready to open things this wide?
如果变尴尬呢？若我爱上他呢？ What if it gets weird? What if I fall in love with him?
不，该死 No, no, no, no, no. Damn it!
怎么回事？你又在搞鬼吗，理查德？ What was that? Another scheme of yours, Richard?
我知道你有阴谋 I know you're planning something.
没什么，失陪一下，好吗？ It's nothing. Will you excuse me, please?
搞什么鬼？酒在哪里？ What the fuck is going on? Where's the wine?
爸刚刚在发春，害我摔破了 Dad was horny and I dropped it.
真不敢相信你竟然搞砸了 I can't believe you're fucking this up.
我没搞砸，刚刚有个人… I'm not fucking it up! There was a guy in the thing...
你每次都一堆借口 There's always a guy in the thing!
让宁波等太久可是会没命的 Land dwellers do not keep Nimbus waiting and live.
我马上过去 Be right out!
该死，你把我搞得 像在演《欢乐一家亲》，懂吗？ Goddammit. Do you see this whisper kitchen Frasier bullshit
莫蒂，快去拿酒 you're making me do? Morty, just get the wine.
贝丝和杰瑞，别想跟宁波做爱 Beth and Jerry, stop trying to fuck Nimbus.
－是他提议的 －不会是在这里 - I'll have you know he propositioned us. - Well, we wouldn't do it here.
他对任何人都这样提议 He propositions everybody!
－嘿，洁西卡，怎么了？ －你好像很忙 - Hey... Jessica. What's up? - Seems like you're busy.
不，我只是有状况 No, no, no! I ran into a little trouble.
但我马上就要去拿酒来了 But... But... But I'll go get that wine right now.
但你已经这样说过两次了吧？ But you said were going to get it, like, twice already.
没错，我现在真的要去拿了 I was, and I'm getting it right now.
天啊，是他 Holy shit, it's him!
真是的，你们要我怎样？ God damn it! What do you want me to say?
对不起 I'm sorry!
我们总算打败他了 We finally beat him.
但我们要保持警觉，世事难料 But let's always remain vigilant, because you never know.
他或许还会再来 He might be back one day.
好，纳尼亚，来吧，放马过来 Okay, Narnia! Let's go. Let's fucking go!
结束了，那男孩不会再来了 It is over. The boy is not coming back.
他一定会的 He always comes back.
你害我们赔上了人生还有未来，只为了一个虚构故事 You have wasted our lives, our very futures, on a fantasy!
－一个谎言 －我确实看到了 - A lie! - I know what I saw.
你什么都没看到 You saw nothing!
蠢孩子 You are a foolish boy!
勇于看见真相的人 Those called fools are the only ones
才会被骂蠢 brave enough to see the truth.
告诉我，父亲 Tell me, Father.
我还很蠢吗？ Am I a fool now?
我出生于这些石块的制造地 I was born in the pits that made these stones.
我花很久时间建造这座谎言圣殿 I lost my years building a temple to a lie.
所以我就把说谎当成我的能力 So, I made lies my power.
能力其实就是我们… And what is power, but a lie we...
天啊，是真的… Oh, shit, he's real!
是真的，我搞错了 He's real! I was wrong!
大错特错，神是… I was so wrong! God is re...
服务真棒，我会给很多小费 Wow. Impeccable service. Big tip.
我比较喜欢另一个 I liked your other one more.
他叫什么吗？凯尔吗？ What was his name? Kyle?
－什么？ －没事 - What? - Nothing.
我们可以快点签约吗？ Can we just sign this thing and go?
－洁西卡，真抱歉 －没关系 - Jessica, I'm so sorry. - I mean, it's fine.
你才离开几分钟而已 You were only gone like a couple minutes.
莫蒂，你还好吗？ Morty, are you okay?
抱歉，洁西卡 I'm... I'm sorry, Jessica.
我们每次都搞砸，对吧？ We just never seem to get it right, do we?
是啊，的确如此 No, I guess we don't.
但我很高兴你打电话给我 But I'm glad you called me.
我们可以重来 Maybe we can start over
这次别再搞砸了 get it right this time.
好，我也想这样 Yeah. I'd... I'd like that.
谢谢你拿酒来 Thanks for bringing the wine.
非常值得 Totally worth it.
需要开瓶器吗？ Do we need an opener?
我去拿 Oh. I'll... I'll go get it.
我很喜欢签约 Mmm. I do so love to sign upon the dotted line.
－要签了吗？ －没错 - Shall we? - Jesus Christ, yes.
你的证人是谁？我的证人是这只鱿鱼 And who is your witness? My witness is the squid.
你很喜欢海洋世界主题，对吧？ Really proud of this SeaWorld theme, aren't you?
快去找证人，别怪到我头上 Hey, just get a witness, man. Don't make this about me.
或许他没有值得托付生命的人 Or perhaps, Richard has no one with whom he can trust his life.
除了我以外，没有人真正了解他 Who truly knows him, save me.
好吧，我去找人，天啊 Fine! I'll get someone. Oh, my god.
莫蒂，过来，我需要你做件鸟事 Morty! C'mere. I need you for some bullshit.
瑞克，我达成你的每一项要求了 Look, Rick, I've done everything you've asked.
我能好好陪我女朋友吗？ Can I just have some time with my girlfriend?
女朋友？ Your girlfriend?
她不是… I mean, she's not...
我们接吻了，但我想慢慢来 We kissed, but I'm just trying to take it slow.
不可以太操之过急，懂吗？ You gotta give these things time to breathe, y'know?
你知道你的特别之处吗，亚当？ Do you know why you're special, Adam?
－因为我是旅行者？ －对 - Because I am The Traveler? - Yes.
你会穿越那扇门 You will be the one to pass through the door.
你会终结我们的痛苦 You will be the one to end our pain.
那我的痛苦呢，妈？ But, Mother, what about my pain?
你的痛苦会解放我们 Your pain shall set us free.
该开始了 It is time to begin.
再来 Again.
再来 Again!
－你还没准备好 －拜托，妈 - You are not ready. - Please, Mother...
你以为他会放过你吗？ Do you think he will show you mercy?
看他对我们做了什么？ Like he did to us?
再来 Again!
有人需要什么吗？ Does anyone need anything?
－宁波要什么吗？ －天啊 - Does Nimbus need anything? - Holy shit!
别评断我们，我们夫妻要一起成长 Don't judge. We're growing as a couple!
怎么会这样？ Why is this happening to me?
为了未来 For the future!
你竟然想暗杀宁波？ You dare assassinate Nimbus?
－抱歉，等等，他是谁？ －还没轮到你，老兄 - Sorry, wait. Who is that? - Get in line, pal!
真是浪费 Such a waste.
妈？ Mother?
洁西卡 Jessica!
你就是非碰海不可 You just had to touch the ocean.
闭嘴，我没时间… Shut up! There isn't time to...
全都搞砸了，被你搞砸了 It's all fucked, and you fucked it!
你提早来了 - Huh? - You're early.
这里是哪里？ Wh... What is this place?
是终点也是起点 The end. But also, a beginning.
－每个终点都是起点，对吧？ －后退 - Isn't every end a beginning? - Stay back!
别跟我说些日舞科幻鬼话 I don't want your stripped down, Sundance sci-fi bullshit.
－洁西卡在哪？ －洁西卡 - Where's Jessica? - Jessica.
那是她的名字，对吧？ That was her name, wasn't it?
谢了，莫蒂，我都忘记了 Thank you, Morty. I had forgotten.
对了，你可以 Oh, right. You'll be needing this.
用这个酿酒 For the wine.
天啊，我们骗到他了 Oh, shit, we got him!
你敢相信他被这些鬼话骗了吗？ Can you believe he bought that fuckin' tree bullshit?
我们骗到他了 We fuckin' got him!
非常好，想跟亚特兰提斯开战，就顺你意 Very well. If you seek war with Atlantis, you shall have it.
我之前上美人鱼时 Oh, I've already been to war with Atlantis
就已经开战了 when I DDay'd that Mermaid Puss!
我就知道是你，准备离场车队 I knew that was you! Prepare my exit parade.
跟你爱的干燥陆地道别吧 Say goodbye to your precious dry land
这里很快就会变湿，超级湿 for soon, it will be wet! Wet!
全球暖化已经弄湿陆地了，混蛋 Yeah, global warming is already doing that, asshole.
尽管来吧，让我们变得更湿一点 But sure, yeah, go for it. Make us slightly more wet!
－你把我当笑话？ －对，没错 - Am I a joke to you? - Yes, you are a fucking joke!
你烂透了，你一直都很烂 You fucking suck! You've always sucked!
知道我们为何好几年没打仗吗？ You know why we haven't fought in years?
因为你很可笑，我不需要你了 'Cause you're an embarrassment to me, and I don't need you anymore.
我不靠别人，都在跟 I don't need anybody. All I do is eat ass
任天堂做爱，每一天 and 69 Nintendos, bro. Every day.
或许你会讨厌我，是因为只有我 Or maybe, you hate me because I am the only man
知道你变得多惨 to see how far you have fallen.
我曾经害怕你，尊敬你 I used to fear you. Respect you.
但我现在只会可怜你这可悲酒鬼 Now all that's left is pity for a sad, drunk shell of a man
你不敢承认自己有多寂寞 too afraid to see how alone he truly is.
如果戴安还活着，她会怎么… If Diane were alive today, what would she think...
少跟我讲另一个时空的背景故事 Don't fucking establish canonical backstory with me, you Red Lob...
很好，你醒了 Oh, good. You're awake.
我只是拿了些酒，我都道歉了 I just took some wine! I said I was sorry.
你们有什么毛病？ What the fuck is wrong with you people?
我已经思考这件事好几世纪了 I have been asking that for centuries.
他们建造我是为了研究你，莫蒂 I was created to study you, Morty. To know you.
但我越仔细看，就越不认得自己 But the closer I looked, the more I do not recognize myself.
好，我其实没时间… Uh, yeah, man, I really don't have time for...
如果没有你，我们会是什么人？ I have often wondered... who would we be without you, Morty?
我们除了恨意还有什么？ Are we anything beyond our hatred?
她来的时候，我以为她会是答案 And when she came, I thought she would be the answer.
被冻结在时间内，永远沉睡着 Frozen in time. Forever asleep.
我们不懂她的意义，就把她隐藏起来 We could not understand her purpose, so we hid her away.
我们为什么都要隐藏… Why do we always hide the truths we...
我不在乎，放了她 I don't give a shit, nerd! Let her go!
我干吗复制生殖器？ Why did I clone myself genitals?
我不在乎，动作快 - Ow! Ooh! - I don't care, bitch! Do it!
－混蛋 －我就是混蛋 - Asshole! - Yeah, I guess I am an asshole!
有时候就得当混蛋 Y'know, sometimes, you gotta be an asshole!
－这是我外公教我的 －好吧… - My grandpa taught me that. - Okay, okay, okay, fine!
－莫蒂？ －洁西卡 - Morty? - Hey, Jessica.
天啊，你一定睡得很熟，对吧？ Wow. Must've been some nap, huh?
我不知道该怎么称呼这些东西 Is that, ooze or... I'm not sure what to call it.
看起来像分泌物 It looks like ooze.
好，我们之后再聊 Okay. We can catch up later.
什么… What the...
瑞克 Rick! Rick!
－死龙虾 －瑞克 - ...obster motherfucker. - Rick!
－管他的，我在干吗？ －救命 - Screw this. What am I even doing? - Help!
你要去哪？ Where are you...
快回来 我会把陆地变湿 Come back here. I'm going to make the land wet!
我倒想亲眼瞧瞧 Y'know what, I'd love to see it.
放马过来，你要做什么都好 Do it! God, do anything!
但别再拿我当借口了 Just don't use me as an excuse anymore.
瑞克 Rick!
天啊，真火爆 Wow. That was intense.
－你压力很大吗？ －我们签了文件 - You look stressed. - We signed the paperwork.
－我得走了 －你们有我们的电话 - I must go. - Your people have our number!
那只海星不是说有礼物篮吗？ Your starfish mentioned some kind of basket?
－莫蒂，能不能别… －停止… - Jesus, Morty. - Stop! No, no! Not today!
你不能就… Can't you go one day without...
－什么… －我搞砸了，好吗？ - What the... - I fucked it up, okay?
没关系，莫蒂，你就是这样 It's okay, Morty. That's what you do.
我来拯救一切，带你们回家 Now, lemme deus ex machina this shit and let's go home.
天啊，为何大家都变机械鸟了？ God, why does everyone go cyberpunk bird?
真无趣 So fuckin' hack.
天啊，还真酷 Oh, shit. Well, that's cool.
好吧，我们好像有点完蛋了 Okay, we might be a little fucked.
你以为我会让你死吗，理查德？ Did you think I would let you die alone, Richard?
我是宁波先生 I am Mr. Nimbus!
你还有时间看电影吗？ Wow. You still got time for that movie?
对，时间 Yes. Time.
我有很多时间，无尽的时间 I had nothing but time. Endless time.
一开始只有疯狂 At first, it was madness.
然后是启示 Then, enlightenment.
然后又是疯狂 Then madness again.
但这或许是好事 But perhaps it was a gift.
我看到了时间的生命 I could see the life of time.
正当我见证着时间悲惨的那一面 And as I watched the life of time in all its fleeting, terrible light
我陷入了沉思，我有活过吗？ I wondered, had I lived?
我只是其他人故事中的物件吗？ Was I just the object in another's story?
我就仅此而已？这点能改变吗？ Was that all I ever was? Could I be more?
我有非常多的时间，却没有答案 I had nothing but time, and still no answer.
没有意义的时间就像是监牢 Time without purpose is a prison.
我看到了永恒的思想 I have glimpsed into the mind of eternity
或是神的思想 perhaps the mind of God
但我只找到寂静 and found nothing but silence.
我们还是当朋友就好 I think we should just be friends.
好，我能理解 Oh, yeah. I... I get that.
我们错过了时机 Guess we missed our moment.
对，但我们都会 Yes. But there will be more.
有其他时机 For both of us.
再见了，莫蒂 Goodbye, Morty.
－嘿，你好吗？ －滚，我是时间之神 - Hey, how's it going? - fuck off! I'm a time god.
我又跟你一同作战了，理查德 Fighting by your side again, Richard.
－感觉很… －没错 - It was, uh... - Yeah.
那就不用签条约了 Then there is no treaty.
我们停战 Because there is no war.
宁波，你人真好 Aw, Nimbus. That's... That's really chill of you, man.
理查德，你在成为我的宿敌之前 Richard, before you were my greatest enemy
你是我唯一的朋友 you were my only friend.
－爷爷，我弄到贝壳了 －操 - Grandpa, I got the shell! - Shit.
－听着，宁波 －王八蛋 - Okay, Nimbus, look... - You son of a bitch!
－叛徒 －拿武器来，莫蒂 - Betrayal! - My weapons, Morty!
－我用光了 －爷爷 - I used them all! - Grandpa!
怎么办？ Wait, Grandpa, what do I do?
－贝壳在我这里，我要吹吗？要吗？ －别 - I have the shell. Should I blow it? - No.
我直接吹好了 Is that... I'm just gonna blow it!
－不要吹，砸烂它 －搞什么？ - Don't blow it! Destroy the horn! - What the hell, Summer?
要把贝壳砸烂 You were supposed to destroy the horn!
我怎么会知道？ How was I supposed to know that?
警察，把这人渣关进牢里 Police! Take this piece of shit to jail.
我说过了 I told... I told you.
他是冷血下体杀手 He's an ice-cold dick killer!
宁波 Nimbus!
等等，他怎么… Wait. So, how can he...
天啊，桑美，他是宁波 Jesus, Summer. He's Mr. Nimbus.
他能控制警察 He controls the police!
杰瑞，太多安全语就失去意义了 Jer, I think more than one safe word sort of defeats the point.
我只是希望 I know, I just wanna make sure
我们能有机会喊停 we have every opportunity to stop.
但我很期待 Super excited about it, though.
我也很期待 Me too, so excited.
杰瑞，我们是真的想这么做吗？ Jerry, are we doing this because we both want this?
还是我们以为对方想这么做？ Or because it's what we think the other one wants?
我只是想证明我很爱你 I just wanted to prove that I love you so much
－愿意为你做这种事 －我也是 - I would do this for you! - Same!
我们拿完奖品就走吧，不要犯下大错 Let's take that prize and get out before we make a huge mistake.
后悔了？ Getting cold feet?
不，别告诉瑞克 No. Please don't tell Rick.
－他不会懂的 －会，他会懂的 - He wouldn't understand. - Yes, he would.