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你们还真饿 You two are hungry.
－今天是大日子 －我们要杀上帝 -It's a big day. -We're gonna kill God.
－什么？ －上帝是真的 -Come again? -Christian god is real.
Nicolas Bourbaki不建议也不对任何利用本字幕生成的视频负责
他睡了几千年 He's been asleep for thousands of years,
我们要偷偷杀他 We're gonna sneak up there and kill 'em.
－像黑手党 －解决他 -Mob style. -Just whack his ass.
欢迎大家到我们的仓库协助改错：https://github.com/N-Bourbaki/Rick-and-Morty-Chinese-Subtitles
－我能杀上帝吗？ －吃屎啦，桑美 -Can I kill God? -Fuck off, Summer.
－不可能 －贝丝，你有听到吗？ -As if. -Beth, do you hear this?
老公，别太紧张 Sweetie, don't get all worked up
你还要去面试 before your job interview.
－面试？ －对 -Job interview? -Yes.
很难相信吗？ Is that so hard to believe?
没错 Actually, yeah.
感觉不太对劲 Something's off.
不 No!
靠 Shit!
杀我 Hunt me!
大家快来杀我 Hunt me! Hunt me! Somebody hunt me!
－不要杀死他 －杀我 -Don't hunt him to completion! -Hunt me!
－靠 －杀我 -Oh, shit. Um... -Hunt me!
大家快收拾行李，我没时间解释 Everyone start packing. N-No time to explain.
－瑞克？ －爸，怎么了？ -Rick? -Dad, what's wrong?
－有人杀了假家庭 －杀我 -Someone just killed a decoy family. -Hunt me!
我是一直想被杀先生 I'm Mr. Always Wants To Be Hunted!
对，你以为大家都不觉得腻吗？ Yes, and how interesting did you think that would stay?!
你做了我们的复制人？ You made clones of us?
是假目标，莫蒂 差别很大的… Decoys, Morty. Very different.
－差别很大的，宝贝 －差在哪？ -Very different, sweetie. -Different h-h-- Ow!
没错，差在哪？ Yeah, Dad. Different h-how?
有很多人都想杀我，女儿 Lotta people out there want a piece of this, sweetie.
我很酷，他们会眼红 I'm cool, and it makes them feel bad.
自从出了太空贝丝的事之后 So, y'know, after that trouble with Space Beth,
我就在全国各地 I made passable copies of the family
放复制假目标 and placed them around the country
制造缓冲 as a buffer zone to protect --
－他为何想被杀？ －杰瑞 But why does he always -want to be hunted? -Jerry...
－那不重要，爸 －对啦 -That's not important right now, Dad. -Sure, guys.
瑞克做了我们的假目标 Rick can make secret decoys of the family
放到全国各地去 and place them all around the country,
我却不能问起 but fuck me if I have questions
穿标靶装的海星人 about the Starfish Man in a target suit.
我的周六真赞 So thankful this is my Saturday.
他为什么在冷冻舱里？ Why was he in that cryo-pod?!
你还在想冷冻舱的事？ The cryopod is what confuses you?
杰瑞 还有更重要的事，好吗？ Jerry, can't you see we've moved on to higher stakes?
我觉得没什么大不了的 Well, I don't see any stakes at all.
靠 Ah, shit!
看来我们只能 Guess we'll just be saying ciao bella
－放弃押金了 －闭嘴啦，杰瑞 -to our deposit, then -Shut up and pack, Jerry.
－乌贼杀了假家庭 －＂假家庭＂？ Squids just killed a decoy family. Decoy family?
所以你才想出远门吗？ Is this is why you wanted to get out of town?
我会对度假原因 You think I'd lie to you
说谎吗，莫蒂？ about why we're on vacation, Morty?
我不会对你说谎 I wouldn't lie to you.
这句话是谎言 Well, that's a lie. Huh...
所以有人想杀我们吗？ So, someone out there is trying to kill us?
随时都有 Someone's always trying to kill us --
所以我才会做假目标 That's what the decoys are for.
他们可以进行有趣独立的探险… They go on fun, self-contained terrestrial adventures and...
帮我们挡子弹 take bullets meant for us.
靠 Shit.
不 No!
靠 Oh, shit.
假家庭 Decoy family.
爸好像在外面 I think Dad was still outside.
假家庭是什么？ Wh-Wh-What's a decoy family?
这概念很难懂，莫蒂，很难懂 Hard concept, Morty. Hard concept.
说实话，我自己从来没搞懂 I've never really cracked it, if I'm being honest.
我决定当成另一个特别集数的 Decided it was maybe better as a kind of kinetic mislead
－运动诱导 －真酷 -for another special episode! -Oh, cool.
继续播放《时空狼人》 We now return to "When Wolf."
会时空旅行的狼？ Whoa. A time-traveling wolf?
－我喜欢 －对，＂时空狼人＂ -Count me in. -Yeah, I never thought of the where in werewolf
念起来很像＂时空旅人＂ like who, what, when and where.
真有趣 C-Clever wordplay!
时空狼人德古拉 When Wolf. Dracula.
你知道我来的原因 You know why I'm here.
我在这里很安全，伊恩 I'm safe here, Ian.
基督教还没被发明出来 Christianity hasn't been invented yet --
十字架对我来说什么都不是 Crosses are just baby T's to me now.
我离开了 I got out.
拜托别逼我回去 Please, don't invite me back in.
－加入德古拉的元素太混乱了 －对 -Huh, kinda mucked it up with this Dracula stuff. -You're right.
他们对核心概念没信心 It shows a lack of faith in their core concept,
我宁愿看时空狼人 I'd much rather watch When Wolf go to the '20s
回到1920年代投资股市 and invest in the stock market --
－然后吃人 －没错 -but then eat people. -Yeah.
如果真想知道 Look, if you really want to know
贝丝她妈发生了…呃 what happened to Beth's mom, it -- Whup.
外星乌贼杀了假家庭 Squid aliens just killed a decoy family.
＂假家庭＂？你又做复制人了？ Decoy family? You made more clones?
三成的科幻作品都有复制人 Clones are like 32% of all sci-fi, sweetie.
谁也不能把复制人占为己有，对，我做了假目标 You don't get to own 'clones. Yes, I made some decoys.
只比我们多了些 They're exactly like us,
修改和后门开关 with a few tweaks and a backdoor shutdown.
你是不是做有知觉的人就会硬？ Do you just get hard creating sentient life?
我其实是保护家人时就会硬 Actually, I get hard protecting my family. Ew.
－好恶 －对，大家都有超杀复制人了 -Gross. -Yeah, now everyone gets killer doppelgangers.
－赞 －他们无害 -Cool deal. -The decoys are harmless, Beth.
瑞克外公？假目标知道自己是假目标吗？ Grandpa Rick, do the decoys know they're decoys?
那样会很假，桑桑 They wouldn't be very good decoys if they did, Sum Sum.
－他们以为自己是我们？ －对 -So they think they're us? -That's the deal.
你怎么能确定我们不是假目标？ How do you know we're not decoys?
天啊，我们是假目标 Oh, my God. We're decoys.
我们可能不是真的 Oh, God. We might not be real.
而是假目标 W-We might be decoys! M-Morty, quick!
－我该怎么办？ －莫蒂，快 -Wh-Wh-What do I do? -My failsafe, Morty.
最后保障，莫蒂 M-M-My final, secret failsafe.
我有个最后保障能证明我是真的，你得帮我 I-It proves I'm real. You have to help me.
我绝不会开这种玩笑 I-I-I'd never joke about this.
有条形码，莫蒂 There's a barcode, Morty.
我的左边屁股内侧有条形码，莫蒂 A-A barcode on the interior of my left ass cheek.
－什么？ －莫蒂，我求求你 -What? -Morty, please, I'm begging you.
我不要看 I'm not looking at your ass.
拜托你，莫蒂，它还在吗？ Please, Morty! Is it there?
快告诉我有没有 God damn it! Just tell me if I'm real!
莫蒂，快 Morty, do it!
好恶 Gross!
－爸 －桑美，大蠢蛋 -Dad! -Summer, you fucking idiot.
－我们不是假目标 －干嘛惩罚我？ -We're not decoys. -Wh-Why did I get punished?!
首先，假目标不会做假目标，再来，你以为 A, decoys don't build decoys, and, B, you think
我会很难过自己是假的？ the mere suggestion I'm fake would break me?
－天啊，我不是你妈 －吃屎啦 -Christ, I'm not your mom. -Fuck off.
天啊，他们真的很想杀我 Jeez, these guys really wanna kill me bad.
好，这样 Alright. Here's the plan.
我们要去躲在假家庭里面 We're gonna hide out with a decoy family,
等乌贼出现，我们就杀掉它们 and when these squids show up, we jump their asses.
杰瑞，有紧急状况 Jerry! Come on! Family emergency.
比柠檬方块没有定型还紧急？ A bigger emergency than my lemon squares not setting?
这是无麸质、无糖 They're gluten free, sugar free,
无柠檬的 and lemon free.
你找错房子了，兄弟 Think you got the wrong house, bro.
分析模式，密码80085 Analysis Mode. Password 8-0-0-8-5.
我以为密码会更有趣 Kind of expected a funnier password.
我没打算让别人知道 I didn't plan on showing them off.
－就像《西部世界》 －对，莫蒂，就像《西部世界》 -Damn. Like "Westworld. -"Yes, Morty, like "Westworld."
－但别干他们，桑美 －随便啦，怪人 -But don't fuck them. S-Summer! -Whatever, creep.
我要看看我的房间复制得像不像 I'm gonna see how accurate you got my room.
瑞克，你说你完整复制整栋房子 Rick, when you say you made an exact replica of the house,
是真的完整复制了吗？ d-did you mean like, y'know, a-a-an exact replica?
我知道你的衣服，莫蒂 I know about the Yosemite t-shirt, Morty.
－靠 －你知道可以用卫生纸，对吧？ -Shit. -You know you can use tissues, right?
没有衣服我会出不来 I can't finish without it.
所以你知道幸福的家庭长怎样 So you do know what a happy family looks like.
我知道假家庭长怎样 I know what a fake one looks like.
－瑞克？ －怎样？ -Uh, Rick? -What?
你也有用这间房子做假目标吗？ Did you use this house to make decoys, too?
什么？我怎么可能那样？ What? Morty, why the fuck would I do that?
你以为我会… You think I'd go somewhere else to --
好吧，我现在比较不担心乌贼了 Okay. Well, I am now less worried about the squids.
分隔头部正常运作 Isolate head at normal processing.
你在下面搞什么鬼？ What the fuck you think you're doing down there?
－你也做了假目标吗？ －等等，你怎么… -You're making decoys? -Wait, how do you --
天啊，桑美说的没错 Oh, God. Summer was right.
大家都上车 Everyone in the car.
你说假目标不会做假目标 You said decoys didn't make decoys.
通常不会 And, usually, they don't.
但别担心 But again, it's nothing to worry about,
因为假目标是无害的 because decoys are harmless.
我要去找其他假目标 Just have to, y'know, visit the rest
－终止计划 －＂终止＂？他们是活人，爸 -and terminate the program. -Terminate? They're alive, Dad.
他们迟早会死的 And at some point, they won't be,
活着就是这样 That's how existing works.
你难道能救活每只流浪猫吗？ W-W-What, are you gonna save every stray cat?
不行，但我可以不做出更多只猫 No, but I can resist making more of them in a lab.
少同情心泛滥了 Gah, look! Save the empathy.
这比较像杀虫而非《银翼杀手》 It's more termite infestation than "Blade Runner" --
我还是觉得我们是假的 I still think we're decoys.
你只是想找借口放弃 You just want an excuse to stop trying.
对，所以呢？ Yeah. And?
那里有帅哥 Oooh. There's a handsome fellow.
你做的假目标不是无害吗？ I thought you made them harmless.
我不记得有做这一组 I don't remember making this one.
你好，瑞克、家人、我 Oh, hi, Rick. Family, me?
你们什么时候走的？ Hey, when did you all leave?
分析模式，80085 Analysis Mode. 8-0-0-8-5.
没事，老兄 Hmm? N-Nothing, buddy.
咖啡喝少一点 You-you gotta stop with all that coffee.
不然会精神错乱 It's making you loopy.
分析模式快乐 H-Happy Analysis Mode.
你也是 Happy Analysis Mode to you, too!
你找错房子了，兄弟 Think you got the wrong house, bro.
分析模式，密码800… Analysis Mode. Password 8-0-0 --
靠，你当我是假目标？ Shit! You think I'm a decoy?
你怎么知道假目标的事？ How do you know about the decoys!
因为是我的点子 They were my idea!
我很确定你是在恶整我 Well, now I know you're pranking me.
分析模式，密码８＝ Analysis Mode. Password 8-equal-sign
＝Ｄ equal-sign-capital "D."
快躲起来 Hide.
－什么？ －躲起来 -What?! -Hide!
天啊，就像《人造意识》 Wow. Like -- Like "Ex Machina."
对，莫蒂，就像《人造意识》 Yes, Morty, like "Ex Machina."
－但别干他们，桑美 －随便啦，怪人 -But don't fuck them. Summer! -Whatever, weirdo.
我要看我的房间复制得有多不像 I'm gonna see how wrong you got my room.
所以你知道幸福的家庭长怎样 So you do know what a loving family looks like.
这是假家庭 A simulated one, yes.
－我们干嘛躲？ －他以为他是我 -Why are we hiding? -He thinks he's me,
我正要开始消灭假目标 and I was about to start terminating decoys.
－但我们不是假的 －你去跟他说啊 -But we're not decoys. -Sure, tell him that.
瑞克，你也有在这做假目标吗？ Rick? Did you make decoys here, too?
莫蒂，那是不可能的 Morty, what reason could I have for --
什么… What the...
分隔头部正常运作 Isolate head at normal processing!
你这蠢蛋，你也做了假目标？ You dumb asshole, you made decoys?
这是我的点子 Again, they were my idea.
等等，另一个人呢？ Wait, w-what happened to the other guy?
＂另一个人＂？ Other guy?
等等，所以我是假的，死桑美 Wait, that means I'm a decoy. Fuckin' Summer.
检查衣橱 Check the closets.
－杀假目标 －他们失控了 -Killer decoys! -They've gone rogue!
杀假目标 Take out the decoys!
靠，快点杀死我 Shit. Somebody put a gun in my teeth!
快住手，爸，他们是我们 Stop shooting, Dad. They're us,
我们不用自相残杀 We don't have to fight them!
标准的囚犯困境，贝丝 Classic prisoners dilemma, Beth.
－我是很随和的人，你知道吧？ －我是可以沟通的 I-I'm a cool guy, I -- Y'know? I can talk it out.
－但那混蛋？ －我？ -But that asshole... -Me?
你这个假垃圾，是你先开枪的 You decoy piece of shit. You're the one who shot first!
我们可以好好讲 We can work this out!
别再动手了 Just stop trying to kill each other!
抱歉，假贝丝，没有其他办法 Sorry, Decoy Beth, but this only ends one way --
我们其中一方要接受自己是假的 with one of us accepting we're a decoy.
他如果知道自己是假的 And once he knows he's a decoy,
就会杀死真瑞克和其他认同的人 he'll know he won't be safe until he's killed the real Rick,
以求自保 along with anyone who thinks he's him.
你这假目标还蛮聪明的 Pretty perceptive, for a decoy.
没完没了 This is getting nowhere.
我们数到三就冲过去 Let's charge their asses on three.
－一定要吗？ －莫蒂，说来残忍 -Do we have to do this? -Morty, this is gonna sound bad,
但你会信任我不杀你吗？ but would you trust me not to kill you?
有道理，但老天啊 -Oof. -I mean good point but Jesus Christ.
数到三就冲，准备好了吗？ We rush 'em on three. Ready?
－我不想杀我们，瑞克 －我们不能共存，莫蒂 -I don't wanna kill us, Rick. -It's them or us, Morty.
我不信任我，你信任你吗？ I don't trust me. Do you trust you?
－信吧？ －白痴 -Yes? -Freak.
他们原本已经 Before you say anything,
在互相残杀了 they were already killing each other.
－你可以出面解决 －其实不行 Well, you could've -done something. -Not sure, actually.
我听说过这种事 I've heard stories about this.
这可能是艾西莫夫骨牌效应 We're looking at a possible Asimov Cascade.
－怎么回事？ －谁来解释一下 -Sorry, what's happening? -I need an explainer, too.
我也搞不懂 Yeah I-I'm pretty behind on this one.
车，给我白板，好吗？ Car, can I get a whiteboard?
乌贼开始杀假目标时 When Squids started killing decoys,
假目标会开始检查自己的假目标 decoys started checking their decoys
发现他们也做了假目标 and learning that they're making decoys.
所以他们就会遇到其他假目标 That's making them seek out and run into other decoys,
并且发现自己是假目标 making them realize they're decoys,
进而开始杀其他假目标 making them start to kill other decoys.
－再说一次＂假目标＂ －去死 -Say "decoy" again. -Fuck you.
那要怎么解决？ Well, how do we stop it?
贝丝，循环已开始 Beth, the loop's already started,
现在等于是《时空英豪》的状况 It's basically "Highlander" rules now.
认真吗？1986年？ Really? 1986?
＂只能有一个＂？ "There can be only one?"
靠，我们忙完之后得租来看 Shit. We gotta rent it after this,
康纳莱用原本的口音 Connery plays "The Spaniard,"
演西班牙人 but does nothing about his accent.
那乌贼呢？这是它们引起的 Well, what about the squids? I mean, they started this.
杀它们能解决问题吗？ Would killing them finish it?
或许 Might work. Alt pitch.
但我建议杀光其他假目标 We just terminate the rest of the decoys.
你不能再杀假目标了，这是你自己犯的错 Nobody's terminating anything. This is your mess.
我们的复制人都不该死 Nobody else with our face and memories has to die.
贝丝，你的同情心让我冰冷的心深受感动 Beth, as much as your passion warms my cold, cold heart,
但这状况已经无法挽回了 this thing feels pretty far gone.
现在到处都是假目标 Not only are the decoys liable to be anywhere,
我们也不知道数量有多少 but also, we don't know how many there are.
复制出来的我们 You get far enough down the decoy line
会越来越奇怪 and shit starts to get weird.
你们有没有拿复印件去影印过？ You ever make a copy of a copy?
你要帮助我们解决问题，我们要把乌贼杀死 You're helping us fix this. We're taking out the squids.
我建议分头进行，有些人杀乌贼 I say we split up. Some of us take down squids
－有些人杀乌贼，其他人去 －其他人 -while the rest of us -Engage in B-stories
再走一条副线剧情吗？ we'll have to track simultaneously?
不用了，谢谢 No thank yeeew!
整件事解决前，我们要待在一起 We stick together till this is all wrapped up.
但是那些乌贼还蛮会 I dunno -- The squids seem pretty good
杀我们的 at taking out Smith families.
虽然有点怪 Well, this'll sound weird,
但我有个提议 but I think I have a pitch for that.
这套乌贼装好臭 This costume smells like ass!
－你真难搞 －真的很臭，瑞克 -God, there's no pleasing you. -It's really bad, Rick.
你是给体育老师穿过吗？ Did you let a gym coach break it in?
我们为什么要穿这个？ Why are we wearing these?
我们在杀乌贼时才不会被发现 Because we'll fit in and avoid detection
还能顺便以乌贼身份 as we take out all the squids.
杀死假目标 Might also help us anonymously take out excess decoys, if we have to.
－不需要 －除非我们是假目标 -Which we won't. -Unless we're decoys.
他开始质疑了 He's starting to wonder. I knew it.
我就知道我们不像科罗拉多人 I knew we didn't seem like Colorado people.
天啊，你真的很怕，对吧？ Oh, my God! You are, aren't you?
你真的会怕自己是假目标 You're worried you might be fake!
贝丝，你可以再爽一点 Sure, Beth. Try to love this more.
这样你也能体会 Just glad you have to walk a mile
－他们的心情了 －那边有乌贼 in someone else's -squid costume. -There's one.
它们为何想杀你？ H-Hey what are they mad at you for, anyway?
各种原因都有可能 Well, we're talking about me. It could be anything.
或许是羡慕我的阴茎大小 Maybe jealous of my penis size.
或是我上了它们的女王，或是我屌太大 I had sex with their queen. My dick's too big.
有很多种可能 The list goes on and on.
搞定一架了 Alright. Hey, one down!
或许还有40或45架吧？ Probably, what, 40 more to go? 45?
应该很容易，除非杀它们 Should be pretty easy, unless killing them
有后果 brings in a bigger bad
或是会引来很可怕的母舰 or some kind of horrible mothership.
我们来搜刮东西 Okay, let's loot their shit,
寻找弱点，天黑前就能搞定 find their weaknesses, be done by sundown.
等等 Huh. Wait.
如果乌贼是假目标，我们也扮成了乌贼… But if the squids are decoys, and we dressed as squids...
我好像找到他们的弱点了 Well, I think I found their weakness.
他们他妈的不听我说话 They don't fucking listen to me.
或许这样也好 Honestly, probably for the best.
天啊，我真厉害 Man, I'm good.
爸 Dad!
你是假目标
靠，是我的 Oh, shit. One of mine.
－要去哪？ －躲起来，莫蒂 -Where are we going? -Off grid, Morty.
学自由意志主义者住在树林里 We're gonna live in the woods, like Libertarians.
要猎杀兔子 We'll hunt rabbits and trade with, like,
拿我们用刀子切的小金条交易 little pieces of gold bar that we cut off with a knife.
－真酷 －我们可能是假目标，桑美 -That licks. -We might be decoys, Summer.
－这一切都很酷 －或许你现在会同情 -Everything about this licks. -Oh, maybe now you'll empathize
你杀的假目标 with the decoys you're killing.
等等，太安静了 Wait, shh. It's too quiet.
－你少说了＂安静＂ －我都说太安静了 -You skipped quiet. -I didn't skip shit.
就代表很安静 It's obviously quiet if it's too quiet.
对，但你应该说… Yeah, but you're supposed to say --
桑美，现在变得不够安静了 You know what, Summer, now it's not quiet enough.
我们在哪？瑞克在哪？ Where are we? W-W-Where -- Where's Rick?
瑞克就在这里，莫蒂 He's right here, Morty.
见到外公不开心吗？ Oh, are we not happy to see grandpa?
我长得不太一样吗？ Does he look... different?
－天啊 －好臭 -Oh, God! -Oh, it stinks!
没错，我的做工很不精良 Yes. Recoil at the craftsmanship.
我在诞生那天就知道自己是假货 I could tell I was a fake from the day I was born.
不像你们 Unlike you.
不像他们 Unlike them.
那些瑞克越来越懒惰 You see, Ricks -- they get lazy.
到最后都会做出很烂的假目标 There's always a "shitty decoy" towards the end.
因为那些假目标也会做假目标，而且都会偷懒 But those decoys made decoys, too, and got lazy themselves.
持续到一定程度，就会出现怪兽 And far enough down the line... there be monsters.
我们知道你很丑，而且你很生气 Ugh, we get it. You're ugly and mad about it.
瑞克 Rick!
－外公 －我如果变成这样，就杀了我 -Grandpa! -Kill me. If I ever get this arch.
闭嘴，假目标 Hush little decoy.
我还不能杀你，皮肤要保持新鲜 Can't kill you yet. The skin needs to be fresh.
知道吗？你真的是怪兽 You know what? You're a monster.
我是你爸 I'm your father.
等我取下皮肤 At least, I can look more like him,
就能长得更像他 once I harvest all this yummy skin.
他很喜欢皮肤 This guy's really into skin.
不只为了自己 It's not all for me.
瑞克会照顾家人 A Rick provides for his family.
我会变漂亮吗，爸？ Will I be beautiful again, Daddy?
马上，宝贝，马上就会 Soon, baby. Beautiful again soon.
什么… What the...
去帮其他人 Help the others!
你们干嘛帮我们？ Why are you helping us?
因为我们都在同一条船上 Because we're all in this together.
走吧，我带你们去一个地方 Come on! There's a place we can go!
嘿，我们根本不用打仗，对吧？ Hey, who needs all this war stuff?
我找到一罐亮光漆了 I found a can of varnish.
有了这个，我们就能渡河了 This is a ticket to the world beyond the river.
谁要这个？ Who wants that?
我宁愿英勇战死 I crave glorious death in decoy battle.
而且颜色没选好 Y'know, depending on the varnish,
可能会像涂黑脸 might look like blackface.
我只是想活下去 Excuse me for wanting to live.
各位兄弟姐妹，欢迎来到这里 Brothers and Sisters, welcome to the cause.
欢迎加入我们 To our cause.
我们再也不是瑞克或莫蒂 We are no longer Ricks and Mortys,
贝丝或杰瑞 Beths and Jerrys,
还有桑美 or also Summers.
－随便啦 －我们是假目标 -Whatever. -We are decoys.
被残忍的神带到这个世上 Brought into the world by an unloving god
因他造成的不确定性 and driven to destroy ourselves
而互相残杀 by the uncertainty he creates!
－好像不是这样 －有点极端 -I don't know about that. -That's extreme.
但这样的暴力就到今天为止 But that violence ends today.
－乌贼呢？ －乌贼就是 -What about the squids? -The squids are decoys.
发现自己是假目标 The squids are decoys who realized they're decoys
所以想杀其他假目标的假目标 and wanted to kill the other decoys.
没错，很复杂 Yeah, i-it is a lot.
我们不能因为困惑而分裂 We cannot let confusion divide us.
乌贼 Squuuids!
我指的就是想杀人的假目标 Squids, of course, being shorthand for Killer Decoys.
我们去内殿，走逃生地道 Inner sanctum, the escape tunnel!
－爸 －混蛋杰瑞，让我们进去 -Dad! -Jerry! -Jerry, let us in, you fucker!
抱歉，我也不想这样 I'm sorry. I didn't ask for this.
我只想活下去 I just wanna live!
但亮光漆就只有这些 But there's only so much varnish.
－对不起，抱歉 －爸 -I'm sorry! I'm sorry! -Dad!
其他假目标多久后会找到我们？ How long before the other decoys find us?
迟早会的，我们无法逃避 Sooner or later. Can't really run from it.
我们想到的躲藏处，他们都知道 Any place we'd think to hide is a place they'd think to look.
艾西莫夫骨牌效应第34条法则 It's rule 34 of an Asimov Cascade.
我很高兴能好好利用 I'm just glad we're living to the fullest
仅剩的时间 with the time we have left.
尿在海里是我的愿望之一 Well, peeing in the ocean was my bucket list item.
－再来呢？ －杰瑞？你有什么愿望？ -Who's next? -Jerry? Bucket list?
我想去每个大联盟球场看比赛 I'd like to attend a game at every major league ballpark.
不行，莫蒂呢？ Nope. Morty?
我想在新墨西哥州学校 I wanna ask a girl out
找个女生出去约会 at my weird New Mexico School.
该死，抱歉，小子 Shit. Sorry, buddy.
听起来应该会是很感人的场面 Sounds like it would've been real heartwarming.
他们很快乐，一定要杀他们吗？ They looked happy. Did we have to kill them?
或许他们的瑞克认清了事实 Well, maybe their Rick came to grips with his bullshit.
你今天很恶毒 You're so mean today!
我是你爸，你喜欢跟我一起生活 I'm your dad! You like having me around!
－你一直害我们有危险 －随便 -You keep putting us in danger! -Whatever.
太久了，可以用激进的方式吗？ This'll take forever, mind if I do something drastic?
房子？我急需一个东西 House, I need something quick.
可以做个《星际火狐》魔王吗？ Can you whip up a "Starfox Boss" Season Four callback?
－做得酷一点 －没问题，宝贝 -Make it flashy. -You got it, babe.
来吧，小婊子，该上场了 Let's go, you little bitch. It's showtime.
专心 Get centered.
各位假目标好 What up, you decoy motherfuckers.
快来瑞克的乌贼餐厅 Come on down to Rick's House Of Squids,
我会好好教训你们 where I'm serving your ass on a platter.
我知道你们在想什么＂干，信号灯＂ I know what you're thinking. "Fuck. A beacon.
＂这点子真棒，他的主场＂ That's a great idea. He's got home turf,
＂他占有心理优势＂ a tacit psychological advantage,
＂而且又很大胆＂ and absolutely pendulous balls."
你们又想说＂靠＂ And now you're thinking, "Shit.
＂只有最瑞克的瑞克会这么做＂ That's totally what the Rick-est Rick would do.
＂我可能真的是假货＂ I might actually be fake!
＂我假装不在乎＂ I pretended I didn't care if I was,
＂我但我超在乎＂ but I totally did!
＂能证明我是真瑞克的方式＂ Now the only way to prove I'm real and not him,
＂就是杀死爱解释的他＂ is to ice his expository ass."
对，来吧，来杀我 Yup. So let's do it. Come get some.
什么？不，莫蒂 What? No, Morty.
我会重复播放，为什么… I'm gonna loop it. Why is it --
总统？西南部有群瑞克山查兹 Sir, there seems to be a confluence of Rick Sanchezes
正在互相残杀 killing each other over the American Southwest.
听起来好麻烦 Sounds exhausting.
那边有几个州是投给我？ How many of those states voted for me, anyway?
总统先生，选举人团 Mr. President, I think the point
－的目的是… －保存奴隶制度吗？ -of the electoral college is -To preserve slavery?
没错，史提夫，我也会上网 That's right, Steve. I have the Internet, too.
快去厨房帮我拿一罐 Now take your white ass to the kitchenette
健怡可乐来 and bring me a Diet Coke.
虽然这么说有点不像我 Little out of character to say this right now
但你们看起来好酷 but you guys look really cool.
－我们或许是假货，对吧？ －只有这样才能确定 -We might be decoys, huh. -One way to find out.
＂能证明我是真瑞克的方式＂ ...to prove I'm real and not him
＂就是杀死爱解释的他＂ is to ice his expository ass."
好像平静一点了 Looks like it's calming down.
你还想再为了合成生命的事骂我 You wanna get in one more "I told you so"
还是你有其他本周主题？ about synthetic life or whatever this week's theme is?
去你的 Oh, fuck you. Whoa.
你没资格不耐烦 No, you don't get to be annoyed with this!
你把生命和家人 You treat life and family
当作负担 as so burdensome,
但你却做出了一大群我们 and yet you created an ocean of us
因为你害怕失去两者 because you're terrified of losing either!
－靠 －没错 -Shit. -Yeah.
贝丝，我或许不是真正的瑞克 Look, Beth. I-I might not be the real Rick.
即便如此，我是他做出来的 But even if I'm not, he made me,
或是做出做我的我 or the me that made me,
代表在他的内心深处 which means somewhere inside of him
有一个能接受这番话的瑞克 is a version of Rick capable of hearing that,
有一个感到抱歉的瑞克 a version of Rick who's sorry.
很抱歉我做了复制人 I'm sorry about the clone thing, too.
我爱你 I-I love you.
谢了，爸，我也爱你 Thanks, Dad. I love you, too.
你真觉得我们是假目标吗？ You really think we're decoys? Eh.
谁在乎？我们会是少数的幸存者 Who cares? We'll be the last ones left.
幸好那一个做了信号灯 Lucky that one did the beacon.
不然得花上好几星期 This was gonna take weeks.
好，我们来收尾吧 Alright. Let's mop up.
总算啊 Finally.
扮成可爱的假货 Dressing as decoys too cute to murder.
我不确定有没有帮助 You know, I'm not sure it helped,
但还好我们有试过 but I'm glad we tried it.
－要把扮装脱掉了吗？ －谢天谢地 -We're losing the costumes? -Thank God.
这套扮装好臭 This decoy outfit smells like ass.
去死吧，桑美 Fuck you, Summer.
靠，他很酷，听着 Shit. That guy's awesome. Okay. Listen.
他或许是真正的瑞克 He might actually be the real Rick.
但无论发生… But whatever happens --
等等，别这样，我们都是桑美 Wait! We don't have to do this. We're both Summers.
我们不该在死前试试摇头丸吗？ Shouldn't we at least try molly before we die?
没错，别管他们了 You know what, yeah. Fuck this noise.
等等，我不知道该射哪个 Wait. I don't know who to shoot.
－桑美 －我没办法 Summer! -I can't deal with this.
你也得像我一样杀死自己 I had to kill myself. You have to, too.
－桑美 －桑美 -Summer! -Summer!
去你的，我是真的 Fuck you! I-I'm real!
我是全宇宙最聪明的人 I'm the smartest man in the universe!
你说的或许没错，因为呢 Probably not even wrong. But that's just it.
我不是人 I'm not a man.
我是神 I'm God!
你是依我的形象造的 You're just made in my image.
吃屎 Fuck you.
你是跟我一起来的桑美吗？ You the, uh... Summer I came with?
－应该是 －好 -Probably. -Good enough.
－莫蒂呢？ －对 -Morty? -Yeah.
我也还在 I'm here, too.
靠，太酷了 Holy shit! That was insane!
我好爱你们，我彻底改变了 I love you guys! I've totally changed!
干 Oh, fuck.
你们应该杀我的 You shoulda hunted me.
什么？你是…你很重要吗？ What? Who -- W-Were you significant?
我们有惹到你吗？ Like -- Like, did we tee you up?
你想被杀？天啊，我有好多问题 You want to be hunted? God, I have so many questions.
为什么？如果… Why? What happens if --
快来杀我 Somebody hunt me!
这趟冒险很酷吧？ Pretty cool adventure, huh?
到外层空间展开长久的公路冒险？ Big long road trip adventure through space?
我们还遇到了太空贝丝，或许我们之后可以常来 Even ran into Space Beth. Maybe that'll happen more often.
不要太过头了 Let's not overdo it.
靠 Oh, shit.
有人杀了我们的假家庭 Looks like someone killed the decoy family.
－＂假家庭＂？ －假什么？ -Decoy family? -Decoy what now?
有人吗？ Hello?
我的天啊… Oh! Oh, my God!
我的天啊 Oh, my God!
不… No! No, no, no, no!
不… No, no, no, no, no!
不 Noooooo!
天啊，很好 Oh, God. Yes, yes.
我总算能解脱了 Sweet death.
我为什么还活着？ Why am I still alive?
天啊，还有剩什么东西吗？ Oh, God. Is there anything left?
－嗨？ －这是什么？ -Hello? -What is it?
古文明的遗物 A relic... from a kinder past.
等等，牛仔？ Wait. Cowboys?
又是基督教？ Christianity again?
在牛仔之后？ After Cowboys?
你们又退步了？ You went all the way back around?
天啊，我为什么死不了？ Oh, God. Why can't I die?!
这是史上最痛苦的事 This is the worst thing that's ever happened to anyone!