WE INTERRUPT THIS PROGRAM TO BRING YOU...
COURAGE THE COWARDLY DOG SHOW!
STARRING COURAGE, THE COWARDLY DOG!
ABANDONED AS A PUP, HE WAS FOUND BY MURIEL,
WHO LIVES IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE
WITH HER HUSBAND, EUSTACE.
YAAAHH!
BUT CREEPY STUFF HAPPENS IN NOWHERE.
IT'S UP TO COURAGE TO SAVE HIS NEW HOME!
STUPID DOG! YOU MADE ME LOOK BAD!
AAAAAHHH!
CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP AND U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION
AAAAAHHH!
I THINK YOU HIT SOMETHING-- OR SOMEONE.
OH MY!
HELLO.
[WHINING]
ARE YOU OK?
BUT FOR THE FRACTURED THORAX,
THE RUPTURED ROSTRUM,
AND THE SHREDDED FOREWING,
NOT TO MENTION A NASTY SWELLING IN MOST OF MY ANKLES--
I'M FINE!
WE'D BETTER TAKE YOU HOME AND MAKE SURE YOU'RE OK.
WE LIVE JUST UP THE ROAD.
MURIEL? MURIEL!
GET YOUR FOOD-MAKING MITTS BACK INTO THIS TRUCK,
AND LET'S GO HOME!
I WAS JUST GOING TO MAKE DINNER.
WHY DON'T YOU JOIN US?
I DON'T WANT TO IMPOSE,
ALTHOUGH I AM FEELING A TAD PEAKED.
I'M A WEEVIL, ACTUALLY--
A JEEVES WEEVIL.
I'VE NEVER HEARD OF A JEEVES WEEVIL.
COMMONLY KNOWN AS THE BUTLER BUG, MADAM.
WE LIVE TO SERVE.
[SOFT GROWLING]
ALLOW ME.
OH GRACIOUS ME!
THANKS! I'M NOT USED TO SUCH TREATMENT.
MY DEAR LADY...
YOU SHOULD BE PRIMPED, PLUMPED, AND PAMPERED DAILY!
OH! OH MY!
[LAUGHING]
BLAH BLAH BLAH! WHOEVER'S SERVING PIE, SERVE PIE!
A HARD-WORKING MAN SUCH AS YOURSELF
DESERVES THE BIGGEST PIECE OF THE PIE.
BLAH BLAH--HUH?
YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT!
BUG'S GOT A GOOD HEAD ON HIS...
WHATEVER HE'S GOT THERE UNDER HIS HEAD.
[PAT PAT PAT]
[HOARSE WHINING]
MR. WEEVIL, WOULD YOU LIKE SOME WATERMELON WITH YOUR PIE?
WATERMELON? THANK YOU.
YES.
OH GOODNESS ME.
I MUST HAVE BEEN HUNGRIER THAN I THOUGHT.
[HUMMING]
YOU'RE GOOD! AHHH!
OH YEAH! AH, ME!
[SUCKING SOUNDS]
I HAVEN'T FELT THIS RELAXED IN YEARS.
A HARD-WORKING GENTLEMAN SUCH AS YOURSELF
NEEDN'T SUFFER THE SLINGS AND ARROWS OF ACHES AND PAINS.
YOU'RE ALL RIGHT, BUT...
[YAWNING]
I COULD USE A NAP.
[YAWNING]
YEAH, OOOH...RELAXED.
STUPID DOG!
I'LL TAKE IN HIS TROUSERS.
I DO SAY I'M QUITE NIMBLE WITH A THIMBLE.
I STUDIED AT THE TAILORING ACADEMY AT STITCH-ON-TIME.
HA HA HA HA HA!
[WHINING]
MILADY, I HAVE DRAWN YOU A BATH.
I TOOK THE LIBERTY OF ADDING AROMATHERAPY OILS AND MINERAL SALTS,
FRESH FROM MADAGASCAR AND THE NILE VALLEY.
IT'S LIKE GOING TO A SPA!
WHATEVER CAN WE DO TO REPAY YOU FOR SUCH WONDERFUL TREATMENT?--
ESPECIALLY AFTER WE HIT YOU WITH OUR TRUCK!
YOUR HAPPINESS IS ALL THE THANKS I NEED.
WELL, AT LEAST SPEND THE NIGHT.
I DON'T WANT TO IMPOSE...
ALTHOUGH I AM FEELING A MITE WEARY.
[SCRAPING SOUND]
[SILENCE]
[WHINING, MOANING]
COURAGE, THAT LOVELY BATH GOT ME VERY SLEEPY.
LET'S TALK IN THE MORNING.
OH NO!
[SLURPING SOUNDS]
[HUMMING]
Eustace: HEY, WHAT'S TO EAT?
AAAAAHHH!
[YAPPING]
EUSTACE, YOU DON'T LOOK SO WELL.
MAYBE YOU SHOULD GO OUTSIDE FOR SOME FRESH AIR.
[YAPPING]
[PIERCING SCREAM]
NOW, COURAGE, NO NEED TO WORRY.
YOU'LL HAVE YOUR TURN.
I'M SORRY, MILADY, BUT I DON'T DO DOG.
PHEW!
[YAPPING]
[TIRES SCREECHING]
[KNOCKING]
YOU CALLED AN EXTERMINATOR?
[YAPPING]
[VEHICLE DRIVES AWAY]
[GASP]
THAT'S A WAY, SUGAR!
LOVE THE CAMERA! IT LOVES YOU!
GIVE HER THE POUT!
LOOK, COURAGE! I'M A SUPERMODEL!
UNH-UNH!
OHHHH...
[GROWLING]
[CRASH]
Muriel: NOW, COURAGE, THAT'S NOT VERY CIVILIZED!
QUITE RIGHT.
IF YOU HAVE AN ISSUE WITH MY BEHAVIOR,
MAY I SUGGEST WE SETTLE THIS LIKE GENTLEMEN?
MM-HMM...
OK...IN THIS COMPETITION,
WE'LL FIND OUT WHO CAN INGEST THE MOST AWFUL FOOD.
BUT I WARN YOU: I'M AN EXPERT AT EATING FOUL STUFF, YOU KNOW.
STUDIED AT THE BAD TASTE ACADEMY AT MOLD-ON-CRUMPET.
OK, THEN, LET'S START WITH BOILED BROCCOLI, SHALL WE?
[WHINING]
OHHH!
PHEW!
NOW OLD, RANCID, BOILED BROCCOLI.
OLD, RANCID, BOILED BROCCOLI
THAT I'VE HAD BETWEEN MY TOES FOR A WEEK.
[WHINING]
[STOMACH GURGLING]
[VOMITING]
HA HA HA HA HA!
GOOD SPORT, OLD DOG,
BUT WE ALL CAN'T BE WINNERS!
LOOKS AS IF I'M STAYING,
BUT I DO FEEL THAT I HAVE ROOM
FOR A LITTLE... DESSERT.
[GROANING]
AAAAAHHH!
[SLURPING]
[HIGH-PITCHED] STUPID DOG!
OW!
YES!
MMM! MMM!
I HAD NO IDEA HOW THIN I'D GOTTEN!
I COULDN'T EAT ANOTHER BITE.
THANKS FOR NURSING ME BACK TO ME OLD SELF AGAIN.
AND YOU HAD SUCH A GOOD IDEA--
USING EUSTACE AS SOIL.
I JUST HOPE HE GROWS BACK TO HIS OLD SELF!
I'M HUNGRY!
WHERE'S THAT PIE-SERVING WEEVIL?
HUNGRY!
ARMS IN... SHOULDERS BACK...
BEND OVER BACKWARDS.
AHHH...THE POWER OF DOING HOUSEWORK.
EUSTACE!
UH...SORRY.
YOU HAD THE PILE UPSIDE DOWN!
[SIGH]
ARMS IN... SHOULDERS BACK...
BEND OVER BACKWARDS.
ARMS IN... SHOULDERS BACK...
BEND OVER BACKWARDS.
AAH!
MURIEL! YOU FOLDED ME CLOTHES TOO TIGHT!
WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO DO TO ME?
I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING DIFFERENT--
JUST THE USUAL WASH AND FLUFF AND FOLD.
MUST BE THE NEW DETERGENT I'M USING.
[GRUMBLING]
BEAUTIFUL!
A GOOD SHINE CAN MAKE AN OLD WOMAN LOOK YOUNG AGAIN!
AIN'T NOTHING GONNA MAKE YOU LOOK YOUNG AGAIN!
SO JUST GIVE ME MY SHOES!
HERE YOU ARE...CRABBY.
EH, WHO NEEDS 'EM POLISHED ANYWAY?
JUST GONNA GET SCUFFED.
AS STUPID AS SHOWERING!
[EXPLOSION]
Eustace: MURIEL! WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO DO TO ME?
NEXT TIME YOU WANT TO BLOW UP MY SHOES, TAKE 'EM OUT BACK!
BUT I SHINED THEM JUST LIKE ALWAYS!
MAYBE THEY CHANGED THE SHOE POLISH FORMULA.
THERE IT IS FOR YOU, EUSTACE.
I STEAMED IT AND BLOCKED IT, LIKE ALWAYS.
THANKS.
[SOUND OF JACKHAMMER]
AAAAH!
OH! OH! AAAAH!
AAAAH! AAAAH!
MUST BE SOMETHING NEW THEY'RE PUTTING IN THE STEAM.
I AIN'T EATING YOUR FOOD!
WHAT ARE YOU SAYING, EUSTACE?
I'M SAYING THAT AFTER I'VE BEEN FOLDED, BLOWN UP, AND EATEN BY CHICKENS,
I GOTTA THINK YOU GOT SOMETHING AGAINST ME!
I'D NEVER DO ANYTHING BAD TO YOU, EUSTACE!
WHAT DO YOU CALL THIS?
CAN'T FEEL SAFE IN YOUR OWN HOME ANYMORE!
YOU DON'T THINK I'M DOING ANYTHING MEAN TO EUSTACE,
DO YOU, COURAGE?
UNH-UNH!
I DON'T KNOW, MA. I THINK SHE'S ANGRY AT ME OR SOMETHING.
I DON'T KNOW WHY--I AM THE PERFECT HUSBAND!
[CRASH]
WHOA!
GOTTA GO NOW!
EUSTACE! ARE YOU OK?
NOPE! YOU PROBABLY LOOSENED THE CHANDELIER WHEN YOU WERE DUSTING IT
SO IT WOULD FALL ON ME HEAD!
DON'T BE DAFT. WE DON'T EVEN OWN A CHANDELIER.
YOU MUST HAVE HUNG IT UP WHILE I WAS TALKING ON THE PHONE!
WELL, I NEVER--!
[KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK]
MA!
I GOT ME A MAIL-ORDER DEGREE IN PSYCHOLOGY THERAPY,
AND I'M GONNA HELP YOU AND WHAT'S-HER-NAME WORK OUT YOUR PROBLEMS,
YOU STUPID BOY!
HA HA! HEH HEH HEH!
Ma: TIME FOR THERAPY!
LET'S GET THIS MARRIAGE OFF THE ROCKS AND OUT TO SEA!
HOW MUCH IS 3 + 7?
HUH?
WHY IS THE SKY BLUE?
EXCUSE ME?
YOUR MARRIAGE IS DEAD AS DUST!
MAKE SURE YOU KEEP THE HOUSE, 'CAUSE I GOTTA MOVE OUT OF THAT TRAILER.
YOU SHOULDN'T COME INTO MY HOME
AND UPSET THINGS LIKE THIS.
AAAAAHHH!
THAT'S IT! I'M GONNA GO SIT IN MY TRUCK WHERE IT'S SAFE!
[DOOR SLAMS]
THERE'S SOMETHING VERY STRANGE GOING ON AROUND HERE.
WHATEVER YOU'RE UP TO, IT AIN'T GONNA WORK--
UNLESS YOU CUT ME IN FOR HALF!
COME ON, COURAGE.
WE'VE GOT BETTER THINGS TO DO THAN LISTEN TO SUCH NONSENSE.
SOMETHING VERY, VERY STRANGE GOING ON AROUND HERE.
HA HA HA HA HA!
SOME THERAPIST SHE IS!
IF ONLY WE HAD SOMEONE HERE WHO COULD REALLY HELP.
[DING]
Computer: YOU WANT TO BE A LICENSED THERAPIST?
A TWIT LIKE YOU?
OK, DON'T GET TESTY.
I HAPPEN TO BE CERTIFIED TO CERTIFY.
JUST ANSWER THESE QUESTIONS,
AND YOU'LL HAVE YOUR LICENSE.
MM-HMM!
THERE'S NO "Q" IN "CINCINNATI," TWERP!
NEXT QUESTION: IF JOHNNY HAS 3 APPLES...
[RUSTLING]
Ma: AAAAAHHH!
[Old woman's voice] DON'T BE SHOUTING IN ME EAR!
WE'RE AFTER THE SAME THING.
YEAH? SO WHAT'S YOUR GAME, FLIMSY?
I AM THE WIDOW McPHEARSON,
COME BACK FROM THE GREAT BEYOND
TO DESTROY THE MARRIAGE OF THE PLUMP ONE!
I JUST CAME BACK FROM THE TRAILER PARK.
I'M GETTING REVENGE
BECAUSE THE PLUMP ONE'S GREAT- GREAT-AUNT RUINED MY MARRIAGE
BY FEEDING MY HUSBAND TO THE LOCH NESS MONSTER.
THAT'LL BUST UP A MARRIAGE PRETTY GOOD.
THAT IT'LL DO, AND THAT'S WHY I'VE COME:
TO MAKE THE FARMER THINK THAT HIS WIFE IS TRYING TO DO HIM IN.
ME, TOO!
YEAH! FUN, ISN'T IT?
Computer: CONGRATULATIONS.
YOU ARE NOW A FULLY LICENSED THERAPIST.
WORD OF ADVICE: JUST KEEP NODDING, AND DON'T SAY ANYTHING.
AND SO, WESTERN CIVILIZATION CRUMBLES.
MMM!
WHAT?!
OH MY!
Muriel: I SEE A BEAUTIFUL BUTTERFLY
WHO ONLY WANTS TO MAKE HER HUSBAND HAPPY.
I SEE A WOMAN HITTING A GUY ON THE HEAD WITH A FRYING PAN!
THEN, I'LL PUT STEEL WOOL IN HIS UNDERWEAR!
HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT A BIG, HUNGRY SNAKE
COMING OUT OF HIS TOOTHPASTE TUBE?
YOU I LIKE!
[BONKING SOUNDS]
HOW COULD YOU THINK I WOULD EVER...
TRY...TO HURT...YOU?
MM-HMM...
[BONKING]
OK, SO WE'VE GOT LOBSTERS, THE STEEL WOOL, THE SNAKE...
WE NEED ANYTHING ELSE?
I CAN CONJURE TINY FINGERNAIL-EATING TERMITES!
LET'S PUT 'EM IN HIS SOAP!
HA HA HA HA!
STUPID BOY!
I GUESS IT ALL STARTED WITH ME MA--
SHE NEVER LIKED ME.
MM-HMM!
GREAT! HIS FINGERS EXPLODE!
THEN HE'LL HAVE TO KICK HER OUT!
OK, MURIEL, I'LL GIVE YOU ANOTHER CHANCE.
I'M SO GLAD.
WAIT, I SENSE A DISTURBANCE IN THE FORCE!
THANK YOU, DR. COURAGE.
YOU'RE A BRILLIANT THERAPIST, YOU ARE!
YAY!
[FOOTSTEPS]
EUSTACE, YOU STUPID BOY!
I'M THE ONLY THERAPIST! STOP RIGHT HERE!
KICK HER OUT! SHE'S NO GOOD FOR YOU!
YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE SAYING!
YEAH? I SUPPOSE YOU LIKED THE LOBSTERS
SHE STUCK IN YOUR PANTS!
WHAT?
OHHHH!
[SNAPPING]
AAAAAHHH!
IT AIN'T ME, EUSTACE!
I'M NOT DOING THIS!
HA HA HA HA HA!
[SNAPPING]
OHHH! OWWW!
COURAGE, YOU STUPID DOG!
GET AWAY FROM THERE!
GET THAT DOG!
HUH?
I SEE A BITTER OLD WOMAN WITH A BAD WIG
WHO'S IN A LOT OF PAIN.
IT ALL STARTED OUT YEARS AGO,
WITH MY MOTHER'S MOTHER'S AUNTIE GRISELDA.
SHE WAS A CRUEL WOMAN, MADE US ALL MISERABLE.
SHE ONCE EVEN THREW SOME GUY INTO THE LOCH NESS!
THE MONSTER ATE HIM! HA HA HA HA HA!
STUPID BOY!
[COURAGE AND EUSTACE SCREAM]
THIS WAS YOUR GREAT-GREAT-AUNT, NOT THE CHUBBY ONE'S?
THAT'S RIGHT! NOW LEAVE ME ALONE!
I'M GETTING THERAPY, YOU STUPID GHOST!
[GROWLING]
UH-OH...
SORRY, OUR TIME IS UP. HERE'S MY BILL.
I FEEL SO...INADEQUATE.
[GHOST LAUGHS, LOBSTERS SNAP]
[LAUGHTER ECHOES]
Eustace: THE TEA'S TOO HOT! WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO DO,
BURN ME LIPS OFF ME FACE?
AND MY SHOES-- THEY'RE SMUDGED!
CAN'T YOU POLISH THEM RIGHT? ARRRGH!
GOOD TO HAVE EVERYTHING BACK TO NORMAL, ISN'T IT?
[EVIL LAUGHTER]
CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP AND U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION
CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL CAPTIONING INSTITUTE --www.ncicap.org--
STUPID DOG!