WE INTERRUPT THIS PROGRAM TO BRING YOU
COURAGE THE COWARDLY DOG SHOW,
STARRING COURAGE THE COWARDLY DOG!
ABANDONED AS A PUP, HE WAS FOUND BY MURIEL,
WHO LIVES IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE
WITH HER HUSBAND, EUSTACE BAGGE.
GAH!
BUT CREEPY STUFF HAPPENS IN NOWHERE.
IT'S UP TO COURAGE TO SAVE HIS NEW HOME.
AAH!
STUPID DOG!
YOU MADE ME LOOK BAD!
BOOGA BOOGA BOOGA!
AAH!
CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP AND U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION
Eustace: MURIEL, NOW YOU MADE THE EGGS TOO RUNNY!
MAKE 'EM AGAIN.
AND, MURIEL, HASH BROWNS
AND BACON-- CRISPY BACON.
AND CANADIAN HAM AND SAUSAGES
AND A STEAK!
Eustace: AND HOW ABOUT SEWING MY SOCKS?
SCRATCH MY BACK!
IRRIGATE MY EARS.
AND MY COFFEE'S COLD!
AND MAKE IT SNAPPY!
AND BACON-- NOT TOO CRISPY.
Man, on radio: ARE YOU OVERWORKED AND UNDERAPPRECIATED?
THEN JOIN US FOR THE GETAWAY OF A LIFETIME
AS A CREW MEMBER OF THE WORLD'S FIRST
NUCLEAR-POWERED VACATION CRUISE SUBMARINE!
REPORT FOR DUTY TO SUB STANDARD CRUISES AT 0600 HOURS.
MURIEL! MAKE THAT EXTRA-CRISPY BACON EXTRA CRISPY!
AND CORN FRITTERS!
MURIEL!
FLOOR'S DIRTY!
BLOCK MY HAT!
SOCKS! EGGS!
FLAPJACKS! COFFEE!
AND BACON!
[SNAPS FINGERS]
GOT A BOIL NEEDS LANCIN'.
[QUACKING]
OH, COURAGE, IT'S SO THRILLING!
I'D NEVER REALIZED SUBMARINES WERE SO...
SUBMARINE.
[WHIMPERS]
HEY, DOG!
OVER HERE.
I, FOR ONE, DON'T WANT TO BE HERE.
YOU?
UH-UH!
ME, I'M CLAUSTROPHOBIC.
CAN'T STAND BEING STUCK IN SMALL PLACES.
[YELPS] ME, NEITHER!
HEY, NOT IN THE CASE, MAN!
IT'S DARK!
[YAPPING]
WELCOME ABOARD THE NUCLEAR VACATION CLASS SUBMARINE.
I'M KATZ-- CAPTAIN KATZ.
[GASPS]
DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?
I DO MAKE A FINE CUP OF TEA.
GOOD. THEN YOU WILL BE MY FIRST MATE...
IN CHARGE OF TEA.
[GIGGLING]
NO DOGS ALLOWED.
AAH!
[CRASH]
WELCOME ABOARD.
DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?
I CAN THROW MY VOICE.
WHAT DID YOU SAY?
HELP! CAN'T BREATHE!
I WANT OUT!
[PANTING] THANKS.
I'M GRATEFUL.
YOU CAN BE MY FIRST MATE IN CHARGE OF ENTERTAINMENT.
[WHISTLING]
DON'T YOU WORRY, MY WHISTLING FRIENDS.
YOU'LL BE STEEPING BEFORE YOU KNOW IT.
I'VE NEVER SEEN SUCH A VARIETY OF TEAS.
OOLONG TEA...
PEEKO FLOWERY WHITE TEA...
TEA-N-TEA.
"DO NOT DRIVE SUBMARINE WAY DEEP,
OR TEA GOES KABOOM."
I DO SO LOVE A TEA WITH A GOOD SENSE OF HUMOR.
Man: SO ARE YOU READY FOR A BIG FINALE?
NO. I AM THIRSTY FOR A BIG DRINK.
[BURPS]
[APPLAUSE]
THAT SELTZER JUST GOES RIGHT THROUGH ME.
[GASPS]
[PANTING]
[DOOR OPENS]
FIRST MATE MURIEL, THIS IS CAPTAIN KATZ.
Katz: PLEASE HAVE MY TEA READY FOR ME AT 1600 HOURS.
TODAY, I FAVOR A CUP OF TEA-N-TEA--
A BI CUP.
AND THEN, WHEN WE DIVE AND HIT BOTTOM,
WHAT HAPPENS? BOOM BOOM.
[LAUGHING]
[DOOR CLOSES]
[GASPS]
[PANTING]
[YELPING]
[SNIFFING]
YOU'RE RIGHT, COURAGE.
SOMETHING IS TERRIBLY WRONG HERE.
I'M TALKING TO CAPTAIN KATZ ABOUT THIS.
NO!
CAPTAIN KATZ, I'M AFRAID YOU'VE GOT
A BIT OF EXPLAINING TO DO.
OOH!
A CAPTAIN DOES NOT HAVE TO EXPLAIN HIMSELF
TO HIS FIRST MATE.
YOU DO WHEN IT INVOLVES THIS TEA.
YES.
OH, NO!
OH, MY!
ALL I WAS TRYING TO DO WAS TELL YOU
THAT THIS TEA SMELLS ROTTEN.
YOU'RE A SPY SENT TO THWART MY EFFORTS
TO BLOW UP THIS SUB WITH EXPLOSIVE TEA.
EXCUSE ME?
I SWIM TO SAFETY,
AND SUB STANDARD CRUISES WILL BE RUINED.
MY COMPANY, KATZ SUBMARINE CRUISES,
WILL GET ALL THE UNDERWATER VACATION BUSINESS.
DON'T YOU THINK THIS IS A WEE BIT EXTREME?
TA-TA.
[LAUGHING EVILLY]
COURAGE, YOU'VE GOT TO DO SOMETHING!
THE CAPTAIN IS GOING TO BLOW UP THE SUBMARINE!
[SNARLING]
[WHIMPERS]
YOU'D BETTER GO GET HELP.
Voice: MISSILE LAUNCH IN 5 SECONDS...
4 SECONDS...
3...2...1.
[YELLING]
OW!
OOH. OOH...
TOP SECRETS FOR SALE.
GET YOUR TOP SECRETS RIGHT HERE.
SOMEONE IS SELLING TOP GOVERNMENT SECRETS.
THE PENTAGONE HAS NO IDEA WHERE THE LEAK IS.
WANT TO BUY A TOP SECRET?
NOT NOW, NOT NOW.
WHOEVER THE LEAK IS,
I HOPE HE GETS WHAT'S COMING TO HIM.
DITTO THAT.
OHH...
CAN'T HAVE A PIZZA SUMMIT WITHOUT PIZZA.
NO CAN DO, SIR.
[PANTING]
WHERE'S THE PIZZA, PIZZA BOY?
[YELPING]
OUT OF ANCHOVIES?
WHY, THIS IS INSUBORDINATION!
COURT-MARTIAL THE PIZZA BOY.
I'VE JUST OBTAINED SECRET DOCUMENTS.
IT APPEARS I'M BEING KIDNAPPED.
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
UNH...OOH...
TEA-N-TEA-- THE SCOURGE OF ANY GOOD SUBMARINE VACATION.
THIS TEA-N-TEA IS BAD TEA--
VERY BAD TEA.
I AUTHORIZED THAT TEA.
IF WORD GETS OUT, THIS IS GOING TO COST US OUR HOT TUB.
WORD IS OUT, SIR. WE JUST HEARD IT ON TELEVISION.
DON'T BUFFALO ME, LIEUTENANT.
TIME FOR DAMAGE CONTROL.
DAMAGE CONTROL COMPLETED, SIR.
AND NOW IT'S TIME TO SAY BYE-BYE,
SUB STANDARD CRUISES.
[COURAGE YELPS]
AAH!
YOU'RE NOT A DUMMY. YOU'RE A DOG.
I DETEST DOGS!
AAH!
OOH!
[ALARM KLAXON]
OH! OOH! OW!
CAN'T SEE!
OH!
UNH!
OOH!
[LAUGHING]
AAH!
IN 2 MINUTES AND 8 SECONDS,
THIS SUB WILL HIT BOTTOM,
AND THEN...
OOH, OOH!
[GASPS]
[LAUGHING EVILLY]
TA-TA.
YEEE!
[CHUCKLING]
[ALARM KLAXON]
[SCREAMING]
OOH!
AH, COURAGE, I KNEW YOU'D SAVE ME.
[ALL YELLING AND SCREAMING]
[SCREAMING]
HMM.
[ENORMOUS BURPS]
Courage: HOO HOO HOO!
OOH!
COURAGE, YOU SAVED EVERYONE!
Katz: I'M CAPTAIN KATZ,
AND I COMMAND YOU NOT TO EAT ME!
SCRATCH MY BACK! IRRIGATE MY EARS.
BLOCK MY HAT! MY COFFEE'S COLD!
WELL, IT'S ABOUT TIME.
Man, on radio: ARE YOU OVERWORKED AND UNDERAPPRECIATED?
ARE THE SAME OLD EGGS AND SOCKS
MAKING YOU HUNGRY FOR A CHANGE?
[LAUGHING MANIACALLY]
Eustace: NOT TOO CRISPY.
[HUMMING]
[SNIFFING]
AHH...
IT'S MY HOMEMADE FABRIC SOFTENER.
[SNIFFS]
AHH...
EEE!
OOH! EEE!
OOH, OOH...
OOH!
TOO BAD EUSTACE WON'T LET ME USE IT ON HIS CLOTHES.
OOH, OOH!
MMM!
[LAUGHING]
LOOKS LIKE I'LL BE NEEDING TO MAKE A NEW BATCH,
BUT I'M ALL OUT OF MY SPECIAL SECRET INGREDIENTS.
TIME FOR A TRIP TO TOWN!
[MUTTERING ANGRILY]
[HUMMING]
[BIRD WHISTLING]
[SNARLING]
[LAUGHING]
GOOD DAY TO YOU, MURIEL.
HELLO, COURAGE.
AND GOOD DAY TO YOU, TOO.
MORNING!
GOOD MORNING.
AND I WOULD SURE LOVE SOME CHICKEN NECKS
FOR MY GRANDMA'S SOUP.
FOR YOU, MY SWEET CHILD,
ONLY THE FINEST CHICKEN NECKS.
GIVE ME CHOPPED MEAT!
PARDON ME, SIR,
BUT THE GENTLEMAN WAS ALREADY WAITING ON ME.
I'LL BE RIGHT WITH YOU
SOON AS I'M DONE WITH THIS LOVELY LITTLE GIRL.
EH! LOUSY, STINKIN', OBNOXIOUS POLITENESS!
OH, THANK YOU, COURAGE.
OH, MY!
FOR YOU, MY DEAR, NO CHARGE.
CRUMMY, LOUSY COURTESY!
OH HO HOO HOO HOO!
NO CHARGE LESS THAN 1,000 BUCKS!
NOW, GET LOST! NEXT!
HUH?
STUPID, UGLY, SMELLY, JUNKY, STUPID, STINKY!
[LAUGHING]
FINALLY! WHA...?
COULD I GET 2 POUNDS OF GROUND BEEF, IF YOU PLEASE?
GRIND IT YOURSELF!
[GASPS]
HA HA HA HA! GOOD ONE!
WELL, IT WILL STAY FRESHER THAT WAY.
HEY, DOG...
[LAUGHING EVILLY]
AAH!
[TOWNSPEOPLE YELLING]
AND IF YOU EVER SAY "THANK YOU" IN MY STORE AGAIN,
I'LL WASH YOUR MOUTH OUT WITH RAW MEAT!
Eustace: HEY! WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?
OH!
HA HA HA HA!
WHY, YOU LOUSY TIRE-TAKIN'...
[CRASH]
OH...
[SIRENS]
GET OUT OF MY WAY!
[BOOM]
OH, MY!
[SNICKERING]
LIFE'S GOOD.
EUSTACE! EVERYONE'S GONE DAFT!
MURIEL, SHUT UP AND LET'S GIT.
Man: STEALING FROM A BABY, HUH?
YEAH. WHAT OF IT?
THAT'S WHAT NOWHERE NEEDS IN A LEADER.
I NOMINATE YOU FOR MAYOR.
Man: IDIOTS AND SLIMEBUCKETS,
I GIVE YOU YOUR CANDIDATE FOR MAYOR--
THE MEANEST CREEP IN NOWHERE!
SHUT UP, YOU STUPID PEOPLE!
[LAUGHING AND CHEERING]
I'M GOING TO GET EUSTACE.
OOH!
ARE YOU OK?
HELP! THIS CREEPY OLD LADY'S BEING NICE TO ME!
Townspeople: OH!
THE CANDIDATE WANTS THE WOMAN REEDUCATED
SO SHE'LL LEARN HOW TO BE CRUEL AND ROTTEN.
JUST LIKE ME.
EUSTACE, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
UNH!
Courage: MURIEL!
OHH...
THAT DOG IS SHOWING SYMPATHY.
ARREST AND REEDUCATE HIM!
AAH!
LOUSY INTERFERING DOG!
NOW YOUR CANDIDATE WILL PROVE HOW MEAN HE IS
BY TRACKING DOWN THE DOG, BAGGING HIM,
AND SENDING HIM TO BE REEDUCATED.
WHAT?
CHOPPED MEAT!
[LAUGHS]
I'M TRACKING DOWN THAT DOG LIKE THE DOG HE IS!
[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]
Voice: WELCOME TO REHABILITATION.
Man: NOW, MURIEL, LOOK AT THE SCREEN.
[BELL RINGS]
[CHILD CRYING]
AAH!
Man: WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO TO THE HAMSTER?
BETTER.
CRUMPLE THE HAMSTER!
[HAMSTER WHIMPERING]
HUH? HMM?
Muriel: I DON'T WANT TO HURT YOU, LITTLE THING.
I ONLY WANT TO BE YOUR FRIEND.
MMM...
[PANTING]
Eustace: HERE I COME!
I'M A DOG-BAGGIN' MACHINE!
AAH!
[PANTING]
[ANIMAL SNORTS]
HUH?
AAH!
[LAUGHS]
[SNARLING]
YEE!
[SNICKERING]
HUH?
MY CRUELTY CURTAIN IS A SUCCESS!
AND TOMORROW, I SHALL UNLEASH IT EVERYWHERE!
AN INTRUDER?!
WELL, I GUESS IT'S CURTAINS FOR YOU.
[GASPS]
WHEW!
YOU SHOULD BE CRUEL!
WHAT KEEPS YOU WARM AND SOFT AND FLUFFY
WHEN EVERYONE ELSE IS COLD AND HARD?
IT'S MY HOMEMADE FABRIC SOFTENER.
EEE!
[YELPING]
SURELY YOU DON'T THINK THOSE COMMON ITEMS ALONE
COULD THWART THE EFFECTS OF MY CRUELTY CURTAIN!
[YELPING]
I KNOW YOU'RE IN THERE, DOG.
I'M GONNA GET YOU.
YOU CAN'T JOIN THE CRUELTY COMMISSION!
IT'S JUST ME!
OH!
YOU'RE A MEANIE!
MY CLOTHES...MY HAIR...
SO SOFT AND CUDDLY.
I'VE NEVER FELT LIKE THIS IN MY LIFE.
I WANT EVERYONE TO FEEL THIS WAY!
Eustace: I'M COMIN' TO GET YOU, DOG!
[LAUGHING]
HUH?
YOU'RE MINE, STINKIN' DOG!
AAH!
AHH...
[CAR HORNS HONKING]
Townspeople: OHH!
[EUSTACE LAUGHING]
WHAT'S THAT CRAZY MAN CHASING THAT SWEET LITTLE DOG FOR?
DO WE WANT A MAYOR LIKE THAT?
Townspeople: NO!
ARREST AND REEDUCATE HIM!
EEE!
[LAUGHING]
YAH!
[CHEERING]
[WOLF HOWLS]
[HAIL TO THE CHIEF ¦ PLAYING]
ISN'T OUR NEW MAYOR THE SWEETEST MAN?
MM-HMM.
I JUST HOPE EUSTACE GETS HOME IN TIME
TO EAT THE HAMBURGERS I MADE HIM.
Man: PET THE CUTE LITTLE CRITTER.
MAKE NICE.
OH!
Man: BETTER.
LIKE THIS!
Eustace: AAH!
CHOPPED MEAT.
CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP AND U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION
Eustace: STUPID DOG!
CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL CAPTIONING INSTITUTE --www.ncicap.org--