（警察）
（银行）
片名：小丑的诡计
编剧：保罗迪尼
导演：伯德柯克兰
已经逃狱了
...has escaped today.
凶犯有携带武器 极度的危险，如果看见…
He is armed and considered extremely dangerous. If seen...
讨厌，搞什么鬼嘛 害我赶不上球赛了
Oh, swell. Some nut makes trouble,
and for that, they preempt the ballgame.
好好的一天就这样完了
Perfect ending to an awful day.
老板说不加薪 小孩又需要牙套
Boss turns me down for a raise,
our kid needs braces,
晚餐又只有火腿而已
and Bonnie's making meatloaf for dinner.
生活怎么会如此的糟糕？
At what point exactly did I become life's punching bag?
啊，他们干嘛这么急？
Huh?
What's their hurry?
可恶，来吧 别我车的大人物
Sheesh.
Go on, push me aside, big shot.
怎么没人会 为我查理·考林斯而让路呢？
No reason anyone should move over and make way for Charlie Collins.
嘿
Hey!
我受够了，连喇叭也不按
Oh, that's it. No signal, no nothing.
好像我不存在一样
Just treat me like I don't exist.
这次我受够了
Sorry, comrade. Not this time.
嘿，老兄 你听到我在和你说话吗？呆子
Hey,buddy.
Yeah, I'm talking to you, clown.
你认为全世界都要让你吗？
You think you own the whole road?
依我来看…
Why, for two cents, I'd...
Huh?
那是小丑，我惹上了小丑
That was The Joker.
I cussed out The Joker.
Oh.
警察都到哪里去了？
Where'd all the cops go?
快，快，快
Go, go, go.
快啦…
Come on, come on.
那是给你的两分钱
There's your two cents.
Now, what are you going to do to me?
你打算把我怎么样？
对不起，我真的很抱歉
Listen, I'm sorry, really.
我过了很倒霉的一天 老板不给我加薪
I had a bad day.
Boss turned down my raise and...
告诉你，老兄
Now, look, my rude friend.
在高速公路上…
We can't have people cursing at each other on the freeway.
骂别人是很不礼貌的
It's simply not polite.
Ahh!
我要教你如何尊重别人
I'm just going to have to teach you some manners.
求求你，我有家室 妻子和一个小孩，求求你
Please don't.
I have a family.
A wife, a little boy. Please.
我愿意做任何事来弥补 任何事都可以
I'll do anything to make it up.
Anything.
任何事，你说的
"Anything," says you?
Uh-huh.
好极了
Okey-dokey.
皮夹给我
Wallet.
好的，但我并没多少钱
Sure. I don't have much cash.
我才不要你的钱
Oh, please. Don't insult me.
查理·麦可·考林斯，你看你
"Charles Michael Collins." That's you.
好烂的照片，有够烂
Lousy picture, though.
Lousy.
地址，身高，体重 诸如此类
"Address, height, weight." Blah, blah, blah.
就这样吧
Righty-o, Chuckers.
Here's the deal.
只要你帮我一点小小的忙 我就放你走
I'll let you off,
if you promise to do a little favor for me.
好吧，什么忙
Okay. What?
我不知道，我还没想出来
I don't know!
I haven't thought of it yet.
你先回去 回你那无意义的生活
You just toddle on back to your mundane, meaningless little life,
我将会打电话给你的
and when I need you, I'll call.
Fair?
太好了，我会和你联络的
Good. Great!
I'll be in touch.
（两年后）
（警察局）
It's a waste of time, money and manpower.
真是浪费时间，金钱和人力
如果我有决定权，我要管制它
If I had the authority to block it, I would.
得了吧，局长
Come on, Commissioner.
免费的晚餐，你的照片又可以上报 这可是不错的安排喔
It's free eats, and you get your picture in the paper.
It's a good deal.
表扬高谭市警政局长
"Testimonial in honor of Police Commissioner, James Gordon.
星期二晚上，高谭市俱乐部
"Tuesday night, the Gotham Peregrinators Club."
真是浪费时间
Blasted waste of time.
我想很多人不同意你的论调
Most of the force would disagree with you.
If anyone should be getting a testimonial, it's you.
你应该接受表扬的 我只是做夜班的
I'm just the night shift.
而你24小时都在尽力 这才是市民所要感谢的
You deal with this mess 24 hours a day.
That's what those people want to honor.
好了，好了
Okay, okay. What the heck.
去一个特别的餐厅 精致的食物，可能很有趣吧
It's a fancy club, good food.
Could be fun.
你知道在哪儿可以租到燕尾服吗？
You don't know where I can rent a tux, do you?
每次都这个样子
I hate it when he does that.
我一听说有表扬大会
I arranged another early parole,
马上就安排了一场更大的庆祝
as soon as I heard about Gordon's testimonial.
Phoo!
可以去好好爽一下
It is to laugh, huh, Mr. J?
我问你，哈莉
I ask you, Harley,
有人比我带给高谭市警察 更多的快乐吗？
who's given more hours of amusement to
the Gotham Police Force than me?
没有人，小丑先生
No one, Mr. J.
我也要在那晚…
I deserve...
Nay. Demand the right to honor our dear commissioner as well.
一起接受表扬
好耶
Hear, hear.
(小小卡通历险记）
Huh?
Oh!
你打算找个专家来帮我们吗？ 不，不是的
Gonna call in a specialist, boss?
No, no.
只是一个很迫切…
Just an old friend,
要帮助我们的朋友
who's dying to do me a favor.
（高谭市驾驶执照 查理·考林斯）
（柠檬汁）
Good one, Kenny.
投得好，肯尼 准备接长传喔
Go out for a long bomb.
我来接
I got it.
喂！ 哈罗，查理
Hello?
Hello, Charlie.
你打错电话了，老兄 我的名字叫唐
Wrong number, pal.
My name is Don.
不，不，不
Oh, no, no, no.
我没有打错，查理·麦可·考林斯
This is the right number, Charles Michael Collins.
I don't know why you changed your name to Don Wallace
我不明白你为何改名为唐·华勒
而且搬家到俄玄俄州的 玛立高大道12号
and moved your family to 12 Marigold Lane,
Springdale, Ohio.
这会让人以为你忘了你的诺言 不愿意帮我一个小忙了吗？
One might think you were trying to skip out on our little deal.
不要剪两鬓
Leave the sideburns.
你是怎么找到我的 你的踪迹都在我掌控之中
How did you find me?
Oh, I never lost you, Chaz.
因为你是我的最爱
You've become my hobby.
现在给我仔细听好
Now, listen up, Charlie Brown.
搭下一班飞机到高谭市
You're booked on the next flight to Gotham.
告诉你家人 说你去看一个生病的朋友
Tell the family you have to visit a sick friend.
这是我们俩的秘密喔，好吗？
Oh, and let's keep this to ourselves, okay?
言多必失，知道吗？
Bad things happen to people who gossip.
知道吗？
Capisce, Carlo?
再见啦
Yeah.
Good. See you.
高谭航空班机32号刚刚抵达
Gotham Air flight 32, now arriving from Springdale.
我一定是疯了 我竟然会做这样的一件事
This is crazy.
I can't believe I'm doing this.
（书报摊）
（蝙蝠侠捣毁赌头的洞穴）
如果真的没有办法 不如找蝙蝠侠帮忙好了
If only I had some way to,
I don't know, call him.
（出口）
（查理）
嗨
The car is this way, Charlie.
车子在这里等你，查理
Jumping Jiminy Christmas!
这真是太好了
Charlie Collins!
查理考林斯，好久不见
It's been forever.
How are you, man?
你好吗，你看来棒透了
You look great.
Lost a little weight.
体重减少了，头发也变少了
Lost a little hair, too.
Oh, Charlie.
喔，查理
Charlie, Charlie, Charlie.
查理，查理，查理
So, ready to do me that little favor?
准备要帮我那个小忙了吗？
Please, don't make me hurt anyone.
请不要逼我伤害任何人
Not to worry, Chuckers.
不要担心啊，查理
As soon as you've done my favor...
只要你帮完忙
...I'll send you right back home.
（流浪者俱乐部）
我马上送你回家 我保证
I promise.
（疯子小丑外绘服务）
Okay, Chaz.
好啦，查理
When Harley knocks on the door three times, you open it.
哈莉敲三次门的时候 你就把门打开
- And? - That's it.
然后呢？ 开门就好了
Wait. That's the favor?
等一下，这个忙只有这样
You called me here just to open a door?
你叫我来，只为了开个门
Well, look at the size of that cake, man!
老兄，看一下这个蛋糕
She can't open the door and push it in all at once!
她不能同时自己 开门和推蛋糕进去呀
Think!
你没脑筋呀
He is nuts.
他疯了
Not bad.
不错哦
Congratulations, Jim.
恭喜你了 很抱歉我不能留下来吃晚餐
I'm sorry I won't be able to stay for dinner.
Hmm. The life of a busy socialite.
社交名流的生活真是忙碌
Any way I could sneak outwith you?
我可以和你一起溜走吗？
A room filled with cops, and no way to warn them.
到处都是警察 却没办法警告他们
If there were just some way to call Batman.
有没有办法可以通知蝙蝠侠呢？
（发明展览厅）
Oh... No way.
不行，可能没办法，机会太渺茫
It'd never work.
Not in a million...
Well, maybe.
不妨试试看吧
Not staying for dinner, sir?
不留下吃晚餐 我还要留意小丑会到处作怪呢
Not with The Joker on the loose.
Sir, I believe you may be needed inside.
少爷，我觉得你必须回去看看
Huh?
I'm honored that Gotham's finest turned out to rub elbows
很荣幸今晚…
with this tired old beat cop.
有机会和大家共聚一堂
You eating that roll, Montoya?
你不吃吗？
I'm really, very touched.
我真的很感动
And I'll conclude by saying...
最后我想说的是…
Don't stop now, Jimmy.
不要停，舞会才刚开始呢
The party's just starting!
Baby doll. Entertainment.
嗯，宝贝美女，余兴节目
Hey, sugar.
嗨，甜心 念出我的权利吧
You want to read me my rights?
You have the right to remain silent.
你有权保持沉默
Jerk.
白痴
Oh.
Here's to Gotham's Commissioner G.
恭喜高谭市警政局长
You lock up the weirdos, the crooks and the geeks.
为我们捉住到处作恶的坏人
You're a hero to all the boys in blue.
你是全城警察的偶像
But this time, baby,
宝贝，但这一次 玩笑可要开大了
the joke's on you.
Yes!
好极了，又一次惊人的突击 让所有的人哑口无言
Another stunning Joker entrance leaves the crowd speechless.
Let's hear it for him, folks.
给我一个喝釆吧
老天，观众们真难取悦
Gee! Tough audience.
Commissioner!
局长
I'm here to present you with a small token of affection,
我来此献上小小的敬意
from me and all the guys doing 25 to life.
这是我跟所有牢友们送给你的
Wear it in good health,
祝你身体健康 尤其是接下来的59秒钟喔
all remaining 59 seconds of it.
Toodles.
再见啦
Wait. You promised to send me home.
等一下，你答应要送我回家
I never said alive.
我没说是要让你活着回去
You dirty, evil...
可恶
Sayonara, sucker.
撒油啦啦，笨蛋
Batman!
蝙蝠侠 局长的奖章，那是个炸弹
The commissioner's medal, it's a bomb!
我想我得找一个新的嗜好了 因为小查理…
Guess I'll need a new hobby, now that old Charlie is... Pfft!
织毛衣也不错啊（流苏花边）
Macramé's nice.
爆炸声是从屋外来的
That came from outside!
洛可，汉休 我闻到了蝙蝠侠的味道
Rocko! Henshaw!
I smell a bat!
Quick! To the van!
快，上车
Uh, Mr. J.
嗯，小丑先生
Okay. We'll tough it out here.
好，那我们就留下来吧
他说你是他的嗜好吗？
He called you his hobby?
Yeah.
对呀，两年来他一直监视着我
For two years, he watched me like a bug in a jar.
他监视，嘲讽 并威胁我的家人
Watched and laughed, and threatened my family.
我真的毫无选择，蝙蝠侠
I had no choice, Batman, really.
瓦斯散了 你留着和警察在一起
The gas is wearing off.
Stay with the cops.
我知道，你正想着…
I know. You're thinking,
"What a shame.
一个如此纯洁无辜的小姑娘
"A pure, innocent little thing like her
"led astray by bad companions."
竟然被人带坏了
对，还有别的故事好说吗？
Right. Tell me another.
早知道去学美容就好
Oi! Beauty school is starting to look pretty good about now.
他们精巧的重建这个庙宇
Ingenious, the way they reconstructed this temple.
Completely accurate,
让你一定会刚好走到毒箭前面
right down to the poison-tipped darts.
陷阱地板，妙极了
The drop-away floor is a nice touch, too. Hah!
接住
Catch!
Hold it!
站住
Oh, come on!
得了吧
我叫你站住
I said, hold it!
你这个可怜的小人物
You miserable little nobody!
如果我被抓了 你的妻子小孩就死定了
If I get caught, your wife and son are history!
你不会被抓的，不会的
You're not getting caught, not this time.
这是从你车上掉出来的
I found this blown out of the van.
这就是你的下场
This is how it ends, Joker.
No big schemes,
无需再和那黑暗骑士抗争
no grand fight to the finish with the Dark Knight.
Tomorrow, all the papers will say,
到了明天，所有新闻会刊登…
"Is that the great Joker was found blown to bits in an alley,
小丑和一个无名小卒…
"alongside a miserable little nobody?"
一起被炸的粉身碎骨
很有趣吧，真讽刺啊
Kind of funny. Ironic, really.
我也能粉碎别人的梦想
See, I can destroy a man's dreams, too.
And that's really the only dream you've got, isn't it?
也就是你的梦想
查理，你今天太忙了
Look, Charlie. You've had a busy day.
你受到太多蝙蝠侠的刺激了
All this running around,
all this excitement with... ...Batman!
住手，你这个疯子 我可是青出于蓝
Stop. You're crazy.
I had a good teacher.
Say good night, Gracie.
道别的时候到了
No.
住手
Batman! Batman!
蝙蝠侠！蝙蝠侠！
你在这里多久了？
How long have you been there?
很久了
Long enough.
放下吧，查理
Put it down, Charlie.
他会逃走的，这是保证 我家人安全的唯一方法
You know he'll just escape again.
This is the only way my family stays safe.
好吧，你赢了，别冲动
All right. You win. Take it easy.
这是你家的全部资料
Here's everything on his blasted family.
Names, addresses, it's all there.
You're no fun anymore, Charlie.
你再也不好玩了，查理
嗨，小丑
Hey, Joker.
Huh?
（砰）
Gotcha.
上当了
喔，很有趣，笑死人了
Oh. Very funny. A million laughs.
回家吧，考林斯先生
Go home, Mr. Collins.
家，这字听起来美极了
Home. I never thought that could sound so good.
晚餐不知道是什么 就算是只有火腿…
Wonder what Bonnie's making for dinner.
Right now, anything would taste great.
Even meatloaf.
也很美味的
制片：艾伦伯涅，艾瑞克洛多斯基 布鲁斯提姆
[MANDARIN R3]
English - SDH