（银行）
（警察）
：与小丑共渡圣诞 片名
：凯特巴特渥斯 导 演
编剧：艾迪葛洛达斯基
阿克汉姆疯人院
Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells
（圣诞快乐）
Jingle all the way
Oh, what fun it is to ride In a one horse open slay, hey!
（圣诞铃声）
Jingle Bells, Batman smells Robin laid an egg
The Batmobile lost a wheel And the Joker got away!
Crashing through the roof In a one-horse open tree
Busting out I go Laughing all the wheeeee!
拜托 蝙蝠侠，今天是圣诞夜耶 我们就轻松一下嘛
Come on, Batman, it's Christmas Eve.
Let's kick back and get into the spirit.
小丑从阿克汉姆疯人院逃走了，罗宾
The Joker's escaped from Arkham Asylum, Robin.
你真的认为他会在圣诞夜行动？
And you really think he's gonna make his move on Christmas Eve?
坏蛋也是要跟家人一起过节的
Even scum spend the holidays with their families.
他没有家人
He has no family.
好吧，我们来打个商量
Okay, I'll make a deal with you.
如果巡逻之后发现高谭平安无事 也没有小丑的踪迹
If we go out on patrol, and Gotham is quiet with no sign of the Joker,
那我们就回来吃圣诞大餐 然后看《生活真美好》
we come back here, have Christmas dinner and watch
It's a Wonderful Life.
你知道，我从来没看过那部电影 我连片名都搞不清楚
You know, I've never seen that. I could never get past the title.
反正说定了？ 一言为定
It's a deal, then?
Deal.
看到大家都开心地过圣诞节 你心里不觉得很温暖吗？
Doesn't it warm your heart to see everyone in the spirit of Christmas?
你又把我的话当耳边风
Bah Humbug to you, too.
你就是不相信 也会有用不着我们的晚上
You just can't believe there's no use for us for one night.
那里
There.
嘿，女士，别走
Hey, lady, hold up.
你在几条街前掉了这个包裹
You dropped this package a couple blocks back.
这是要给我孙子的 非常感谢你
Oh, it's for my grandson. Thanks so much.
圣诞快乐
Merry Christmas.
我们现在可以回家了吗？
Now can we go home?
他可以去给小气财神上课了
He could give lessons to Scrooge.
圣诞鹅肉餐很快就可以上桌了
The Christmas goose will be ready shortly.
我们真应该再巡视全市一遍才对
You know, we really should've done one more sweep of the city.
安啦，布鲁斯
Now just relax, Bruce.
你一定会喜欢《生活真美好》的 这部电影很好看
You're gonna love It's a Wonderful Life. It's a great movie.
它不是什么要命的喜剧月吧？
It's not relentlessly cheerful, is it?
不，它是讲一个人 能令一个城市改变多大
No, it's about how much of a difference
one man can make to a city.
觉得很亲切吗？
Sound familiar?
（圣诞快乐）
Uh, wrong channel.
转错台了，这是圣诞特别节目
Some kind of Christmas special.
今年看不到《生活真美好》了
It's a Wonderful Life will not be seen this year.
由以下节目取代
In its place is the following.
我是小丑，大家好，高谭市民 圣诞快乐
Joker here. Greetings, Gotham, and merry Christmas.
我希望你也正在看，蝙蝠侠 这是为你制作的特别节目
I hope you're watching, Batman. This one's for you.
来自高谭市的现场转播 这个节目没人想看
Live from Gotham City,
the show that nobody wants to see but everyone will watch.
但所有人一定都看得到
没错，这就是《与小丑共度圣诞》！
Yes, it's Christmas with the Joker!
（与小丑共渡圣诞）
现在，让我们欢迎主持人
And now, let's welcome our host, the Clown Prince of Crime,
邪恶的搞笑王子，小丑！
the Joker!
来自高谭市的问候
Greetings from Gotham City.
欢迎收看第一年的 《与小丑共度圣诞》
And welcome to the first annual Christmas with the Joker.
哦，谢谢，谢谢
Oh, thank you, thank you. Thank you very much.
非常感谢各位
今晚我为各位准备了特别节目
Have I got a show for you tonight.
为您带来了惊喜、神秘嘉宾 以及圣诞恶作剧
It's loaded with surprises
and mystery guests and Christmas jeer.
蝙蝠侠，你的确没看错小丑
Well, Batman, you were sure right about the Joker.
有线索吗？
Any leads?
我进入了高谭市的供电主机
I've accessed Gotham's electrical mainframe.
并且锁定电源突波
And I'm zeroing in on the power surges
希望能找出小丑发射讯号的位置
to pinpoint the location of Joker's broadcast signal.
That's it.
成功了
我不知道耶，蝙蝠侠 好像太简单了
I don't know, Batman, it seems too easy.
对付小丑永远都不能掉以轻心
It's never easy with the Joker.
哦，蝙蝠侠，我希望你正在收看
Oh, Batman, I hope you're watching
因为我要送你一个非常特别的惊喜
'cause I've got a very special surprise for you.
据传闻 圣诞节是与家人团聚的日子
Rumor has it, Christmas is a time to share with family.
但既然我自己没有家人
And since I don't have one of my own...
AWW!
因此我决定要偷一个
I decided to steal one.
就是他们，高贵的守法之家
And here they are, the awful Lawful family.
这一家人是不是很可爱啊
Aren't they just the cutest family you've ever seen?
对付小丑永远都不能掉以轻心
It's never easy with the Joker.
见过守法爸爸
Meet Daddy Lawful.
你这个变态的疯子，我一定会…
You diseased maniac! I'll--
Hmm.
看来我得教爸爸一些规矩
Looks like I'll have to teach Daddy some manners.
这是守法妈妈
And here's Mommy Lawful.
Help! Somebody please help us. We--
救命啊！拜托救救我们，我们…
喔，喔，她真是爱说笑
Ho, ho, ho. Isn't she jolly?
我们还有小守法宝宝
And here we have little Baby Lawful.
Coochie, coochie, coo.
要是让我逮到你，我一定把你撕…
When I get my hands on you, I'll rip your--
我敢说蝙蝠侠一定也希望 像我一样拥有一个家
I'll bet Batman wishes he had a family just like mine.
我个人认为，亲戚都是些讨厌鬼 所以我可以把他们送给蝙蝠侠
Personally, I think relatives are a bore,
so Batman can have them if he can find them by midnight.
只要他能在午夜之前找到他们
否则…
Otherwise...
忍耐一下，我们就快到了
Hold tight, we're almost there.
嗨，我是赖皮 小丑的小精灵帮手
Hi, I'm Laffy, Joker's helpful little elf.
我要为蝙蝠侠献上一段 非常特别的圣诞惊喜
I'm here to present Batman with a very special Christmas surprise.
来了
Uh-oh, here it comes.
天啊，小丑，你人真好 还送蝙蝠侠礼物
Gee, Joker, it's sure nice of you to get Bat Breath a present.
Ho, ho, I'm just that kind of guy.
我就是那种人
这是高谭市的复制模型
It's an exact replica of Gotham City.
它什么都有，连火车跟桥都有
It has everything, even trains and bridges.
桥？我最喜欢炸桥了
Bridges? Must have Mowing up bridges.
那现在我们就连线到 目前正在总统大桥的东东与霹雳
Well, in that case,
let's go live to Donner and Blitzen at the President's Bridge.
打声招呼吧，东东
Greetings, Donner.
在炸桥的同时 顺便唱首圣诞歌曲给我们听吧
How about singing us a merry tune while you blow up the bridge?
没问题，老板
Sure, boss.
Jingle Bells, Batman smells Robin laid an egg
太赞了！
That was great!
好戏才刚开始
The fun has just begun.
十一点半的火车马上就到了
The 11:30 train will be along any minute.
我们得让那部火车停下来
We've gotta stop that train.
哦，瞧，赖皮 守法妈妈有话要说
Oh, look, Laffy, Mommy Lawful has something to say.
什么事？妈妈
What's up, Mommy?
我母亲在那部火车上 你母亲？
My mother's on that train.
Your mother? Well, that's different, then.
嗯，那可就不同了
车祸时一定会更加刺激
Yeah, it'll be even more exciting when it crashes.
（自动驾驶）
你去让载客列车脱钩 我去找工程师
You uncouple the passenger cars. I'll get the engineer.
桥断了，快来
The bridge is out. Come on.
呸！气死人了，我恨蝙蝠侠与罗宾
Bah Humbug. I hate Batman and Robin.
那就来解决他们吧
Then let's get rid of them.
天啊，我们来造个雪人
Oh, boy, let's build a snowman.
我们已经阻断了小丑的广播信号
We've isolated the Joker's broadcast signal.
发射地点是在高谭山区的天文台
It's coming from the observatory on Mount Gotham.
那里，雷达天线 那是什么？
There, the radar antenna.
What's that?
（等到圣诞节才能打开！
小心，罗宾，其中必定有诈
Careful, Robin. I'm sure there's more to this than meets the eye.
圣诞快乐，蝙蝠侠 很高兴你能够加入我们
Merry Christmas, Batman.
I'm so glad you could join us.
你在玩什么把戏？小丑
What's your game, Joker?
哦，只不过是假期特别节目罢了
Oh, just a little holiday entertainment, Batman.
我相信大伙儿一定会很乐意 参与这特别的盛典
I'm sure all the folks at home
will enjoy sharing this special occasion.
各位女士先生们，男孩女孩们 来自高谭山顶的实况转播
Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls,
live from the top of Mount Gotham,
蝙蝠侠之死亡纪事
the death of Batman.
您一定对这场炮弹狂欢会万分期待
When you care enough to send the very blast.
我们立刻回来 但先来听听看赞助人的致词
We'll return in just a moment, but first a word from our sponsor.
Robin, try and get inside the observatory.
罗宾，想办法进天文台 我来引开炮火的攻击
I'II draw its fire.
Whoops. Looks like we're experiencing technical difficulty.
看样子技术方面出了点问题
But don't worry, folks, we're still on the air.
别担心，各位 我们仍可在空中相会
Oh, no! Our cannon seems to be out of control.
哦，不！我们的机关炮似乎失控了
Gotham City could be in serious danger.
高谭市这下完蛋了
Batman, Robin here.
蝙蝠侠，罗宾进来了
Robin, Operation Cause and Effect.
罗宾，执行因果程序
收到
Gotcha.
Batman?
蝙蝠侠 我没事
I'm fine. But we're not any closer to finding Joker's hideout.
但我们还没找到小丑的藏身之处
What's our next move?
接下来要怎么办？ 老实说，我不知道
To be quite honest, I don't know.
蝙蝠侠，就快午夜了 我们得想想办法才行
Batman, it's almost midnight. We have to do something.
现在只能任凭小丑摆布 要救人质得靠奇迹出现才行了
It's up to the Joker now. Only a miracle can save the hostages.
Arrgh! Where's that Bat fella? And that Robin fella?
蝙蝠侠跟那个罗宾在那里？
他们会毁了我的圣诞节
Ooh, they're gonna spoil my Christmas.
怎么回事？ 他们难道一点办法都没有吗？
What's the matter? Can't they figure anything out? Time's up.
时间到，我要在午夜时 把所有人全都宰了
I'm rubbing everybody out at midnight.
But wait, we have another present to open.
但慢点，我们还有一样礼物要打开
Let's not keep Mommy Lawful waiting.
可别让守法妈妈等太久
可惜蝙蝠侠太扫兴了
Too bad Batman is such a party pooper.
Maybe he doesn't know how to get here.
或许他不知道该怎么到那里 盛装打扮却无处可去
All dressed up with nowhere to go.
Well, I wonder what Mommy Lawful is getting for Christmas.
我想知道守法妈妈 拿到什么圣诞礼物
Ooh! The suspense is killing me.
我快被好奇心给杀死了
Is it? Can it be? Oh, yes! It's a Betty Blooper doll.
是什么？会是那个吗？
哦，是贝蒂破坏娃娃
And what do Better Blooper dolls do?
贝蒂破坏娃娃会做什么呢？
Why, you just wind them up...
你只要上紧发条
And they wreak havoc on Gotham City.
他们就会把高谭市踩个稀巴烂
I haven't seen one of those dolls in years.
我已经好久没看过那种娃娃了
They don't make dolls like that anymore,
他们已经不再制造那种娃娃了
not since the Laffco toy factory went out of business 14 years ago.
自从乐我高玩具工厂 在十四年前停业之后
（位置，乐我高…请稍候）
Third and Main, downtown.
第三大道与缅因街，市区
（乐我高）
（运输部）
Look sharp, Robin.
眼睛放亮点，罗宾
Where's that music coming from?
音乐是从哪传来的？ 问得好
Good question.
Look out!
小心
Stand ready. More on the way.
就战备位置，还有更多要对付
让开，罗宾
Stand clear, Robin.
They don't call you "Batman" for nothing.
难怪人们会叫你〝强打〞蝙蝠侠
Snipers!
狙击手！
Where'd he go?
他去哪了？
There he is.
在那里
- Huh? - What?
什么？
Look out!
小心
Whoa!
I love you very much.
我爱死你了
Keep your eyes open for the Joker.
睁大眼睛把小丑找出来
I'II save you the trouble, Batman.
不用麻烦了，蝙蝠侠
Come and get your Christmas present, or the kiddies get it.
来拿你的圣诞礼物 不然要被小家伙拿走了
Let them go, Joker. It's me you want.
放了他们，你要找的人是我
Merry Christmas, Batman.
圣诞快乐，蝙蝠侠
Well, go on, open it.
快把它打开啊！
Don't do it, Batman!
别听他的，蝙蝠侠！ 放轻松，罗宾
Easy, Robin.
Oh, I can't stand it.
哦，笑死我了
Robin, take care of 'em.
罗宾，照顾他们
Run, run as fast as you can. You'll not catch me, I'm the Joker man.
跑，看你能跑多快 你抓不到我的，我是小丑
Merry Christmas, Joker.
圣诞快乐，小丑
Bah Humbug.
气死我了
（剧终）
It was nice of Commissioner Gordon
戈登局长人真好
to give you that recording of
替你录了《生活真美好》
It's a Wonderful Life.
And it is a wonderful life.
而这的确是美妙的人生
It has its moments.
总有这么一段时光
Don we now our gay apparel
Fa-Ia-Ia, Ia-Ia-Ia, Ia-Ia-Ia
圣诞快乐
Merry Christmas.
制片：艾伦伯涅，艾瑞克洛多斯基 布鲁斯提姆