（警察）
（银行）
小丑鱼 片名
保罗迪尼 编 剧
布鲁斯提姆 导 演
（小丑仍旧逍遥法外）
（钓饵）
好，让我看看我们抓到什么
Okay, let's see what we got.
Oh, that's impossible.
不可能啊 我想吐了
I'm gonna be sick.
All of them...
全部的鱼都… 是小丑的脸
With the Joker's face.
- It looks just like him. - It can't be.
看来跟他一样 不可能啊
打电话报警
Call the police.
他采取行动了
He's made his move.
（怪异小丑鱼震惊滨海居民）
（另一个疯狂诡计？）
今晚要在家吃饭吗，少爷？
Dining in tonight, sir?
请给我解剖盘，阿尔弗莱德
The dissection tray, please, Alfred.
知道我们那个笑口常开的朋友 有什么计谋吗？
Any idea what our happy friend is up to now?
Normal criminals usually have logical motives.
一般罪犯通常都有合乎逻辑的动机
但是小丑的疯狂计划 只有他自己觉得合逻辑
But the Joker's insane schemes make sense to him alone.
（著作权办公室 高谭市分局）
看起来有活力点嘛 拿薪水的奴隶们
Look alive, wage slaves.
为各位介绍丑角的继承人 行骗大师…
Presenting that caliph of clowns,
that mogul of mountebanks,
了不起的小丑！
the one and only Joker!
我是个人啦
Great Scott.
Actually, I'm Irish.
早安…
Good morning, Mr. Francis.
弗朗西斯先生
Please allow me to introduce my associates.
请允许我向你介绍我的伙伴…
Miss Quinn.
奎茵小姐
以及…
And Messrs, uh... Oh.
Their names escape me for the moment. No matter.
暂时忘记他们的名字 不要紧
We gentlemen of business have arrangements to discuss.
我们有生意上的协议得讨论
Uh, arrangements?
协议？
关于我的鱼
For my fish, of course.
This has all been worked out far in advance, Francis.
这件事情都已经办妥了，弗朗西斯
You are merely the last tiny cog in my grand design.
你是我伟大设计中的最后一环
So don't speak to me again, okay?
所以，不要再跟我说话了，好吗？
Now, what is everyone in town talking about?
城里的每个人都在谈论什么？
Uh, your fish?
你的鱼？
I told you not to speak!
我叫你不要说话！
Ugh, fish. Stinker-roonie.
鱼，腐臭的东西
A“ better .
好多了
继续我刚说的 既然高谭市所有的鱼…
As I was saying, since every fish in Gotham now bears my famous
现在都有我那有名 坦率跟帅气的脸蛋…
and frankly fabulous face,
I should be getting a profit from every fish product sold.
我应该从每个卖出的鱼制品中 收取利润
Let's say, a nickel per fish sandwich,
每份鱼三明治收5角 沙丁鱼收5毛
fifty cents for sardines. Millions of dollars a day
每天百万元进帐 赞助我的快乐主义生活方式
to finance my happily hedonistic lifestyle.
我该先填哪种麻烦的著作权表格？
So which of your tedious copyright forms do I fill out first?
You may speak now.
你现在可以说话了
没有人可以取得鱼的著作权 他们是自然资源
No one can copyright fish.
They're a natural resource.
But they share my unique face.
但是他们拥有我的脸蛋
Colonel what's-his-name has chickens,
那个叫什么上校的就有炸鸡的专利权 那些鸡甚至没有他的胡子呢
and they don't even have mustaches.
I can't help it. It's the law!
我无法帮忙，这是法律规定！
Oh. Trying to cheat the Joker, are you?
想要欺骗小丑是吧？
看看谁最后笑的出来
Well, we'll see who has the last laugh.
你到午夜之前都还可以改变心意 弗朗西斯
You have until midnight to change your mind, Francis.
Or you'll be the poorest fish of all.
不然你就会变成最可怜的鱼了
Buh-bye!
再会！
他疯了
He's crazy.
Coming up next, Marla Benson has a special report
接下来：玛拉班森针对微笑鱼瘟疫 做的特别报导
on the smiling fish epidemic.
高谭市的水有多安全？
How safe are Gotham's waters?
Well, he's not out to poison people.
他不是去毒害人类
这种经过稀释的毒素只会影响到鱼类
This diluted toxin only affects fish.
Maybe he's trying to make us all die from disgust.
或许他想让我们大家都恶心而死
他们有鳍又好笑，喔，真好吃 他们是开心愉快的小丑鱼
They're finny and funny
And, oh, so delish
They're joyful and jolly Joker Fish
各位妈妈，今天晚上不知道该 准备什么晚餐吗？
Say, Mom, wondering what to feed the family tonight?
今晚该给全家准备什么晚餐呢？
What'll I feed the family tonight?
Try me famous Joker Fish.
试试看我的知名小丑鱼
There's Smiling Smelt, Giggling Grouper,
我有微笑沙丁鱼、开怀石斑鱼 跟快乐鳍鱼
and Happy Haddock.
大家应该会去抢购猪肉吧
This could cause a stampede to pork.
好吃，好吃
Yummy, yum-yum.
Eat it.
吃下去
Uh, Mr. J, I have this little problem with fish.
小丑先生，我不太吃鱼
好吃，好吃
Yummy, yum-yum.
Yes, friends, that's Joker Fish.
是的，朋友们 好吃的小丑鱼
Tasty, tempting, and of course...
美味、诱人，当然…
低胆固醇 低胆固醇
- Naturally low in cholesterol. - Naturally low in cholesterol.
Coming to your local store.
很快就会出现在当地的商店中
Just as soon as that nasty old Mr. G. Carl Francis
只要那个讨厌的 卡尔弗朗西斯先生…
decides to give me my legal cut of the profits.
决定给我合法的取得利润权
Change the channel.
换台吧
每一台都在播
It's on every station.
追踪那个信号，现在！
Get a trace on that signal. Now!
我希望你已经改变心意了 弗朗西斯先生…
I hope you've changed your mind, Mr. Francis,
because I haven't changed mine.
因为我并没有改变心意
别紧张，弗朗西斯先生 我在每个窗口跟门都派人看守
Relax, Mr. Francis. I've got men posted at every window and door.
Nobody's sneaking in here tonight.
今晚不会有人闯的进来
If I got in this easily...
如果我这么容易就进来…
小丑也可以
So will the Joker.
Hey, hey, this is police business.
嘿，这是警察的工作 快给我滚出去吧
Haul your bat butt out of here.
Hold it, Detective.
等等，警官 没人比蝙蝠侠更了解小丑的把戏
No one knows the Joker's methods better than Batman.
He stays.
让他留下 爱出风头、穿着长睡衣的怪家伙
Glory-hogging, long-underwear geek.
Uh, Batman,
蝙蝠侠，为什么我会碰到这种事？
why is this happening to me?
I've never done anything to this Joker.
我没对小丑做过任何事
I'm just a paper pusher. I can't change the laws.
我只是个办事员，我无法改变法律 我是无辜的
I'm harmless.
And in his sick mind, that's the joke, Mr. Francis.
但是在他病态的心理，那是个笑话 弗朗西斯先生
（友善鱼贩）
感觉还好吗？ 当然
- Feeling all right? - Oh, sure.
It's just that everything's been so crazy today.
今天真是疯狂的一天
我连清除小丑的女伴 洒在我身上的东西的时间都没有
I haven't even had time to rinse off that gunk
the Joker's girl squirted on me.
快把这个人送去医院！ 什么？
Get this man to a hospital, now!
What?
Watch out!
He'll be all right once the antivenom kicks in.
只要解毒剂效力发生后 他就会没事
I don't get it. We all breathed the gas, and we're not smiling.
我不懂，我们吸到了毒气 但是我们却没发笑
He didn't want us.
他要的不是我们，那种毒气 是两种混合剂
That gas is one part of a binary compound.
The Joker exposed Francis to the other part
小丑今天早上让弗朗西斯 吸了另外一部分的毒气
when he threatened him this morning.
This just in.
最新消息
Former Copyright Director G. Carl Francis
前著作权主任卡尔弗朗西斯 将延长休假时间
will be taking an extended vacation.
Looks like he's having more fun already.
看来他已经玩的很开心了
But I'm not happy.
但是我不开心，如果我在 凌晨3点前没拿到鱼的专利…
If I don't get legal claim to my fish by 3:00 am.
the number two bureaucrat, Thomas Jackson, will feel my wrath.
第二大的官员，托马斯杰克逊 将会遭到我的报复
And now, Batman, because I know you're watching,
还有，蝙蝠侠 因为我知道你在看
here's a message from our sponsor.
这是我们赞助商给你的讯息
They're finny and funny And, oh, so delish
他们有鳍又好笑，喔，真好吃
All units, keep your eyes open for anything.
所有小组，严加戒备
I'd like to go on record as saying
我想说清楚 照着蝙蝠侠的话做是最蠢的…
this Batman business is the lamest idea and I-
Duly noted, Lieutenant.
我听到你说的了，副队长 但我们要用他的方法保护杰克逊先生
But we're going to try it his way to protect Mr. Jackson.
Nearly 3:00 am.
快到凌晨3点了 连狼叫声都没听到
And not a cackle from that hyena.
We must've scared him off.
他大概是被我们吓跑了
What's that?
那是什么？
Just my cat.
我的猫
A Joker Fish!
小丑鱼！
It's affecting it. Look out!
造成影响了，小心
Even drugged, the cat went straight for its master.
即使是被下了药，那只猫还是 向主人奔去
Oh, this is just dandy, Commish.
真是了不起
Your pet bat's playing dress up
你的宠物蝙蝠侠在小丑胡作非为时 还在玩装扮游戏
while the Joker's popping off pencil pushers right and left.
Well, I ain't sticking around to see who's next.
我可不要待着看谁是下一个 我有自己的办法
I got my own methods.
Bullock!
布洛克！
Commissioner, have a look at this fish.
局长，看看这只鱼
It's a Japanese tang,
是一只日本鱼 不是高谭的冷带鱼
not native to Gotham's cold waters.
So where did it come from?
那是从哪来的呢？
（海洋水族馆）
（关闭、重新装修中）
（现场表演）
（入口）
（热带鱼）
Freeze, copper!
站住，警官！ 你已经被我瞄准了，看到没？
I got you covered, see?
Well, if it ain't laughing boy's little hench-wench.
那不是小丑的小道具吗？
You're outgunned, sugar.
你的武器比不过我的，蜜糖 试试看
Do tell.
What?
什么？
Ooh, look at what I caught.
看到我抓到什么 他有点矮小
Kind of runty, though.
I'm gonna have to throw it back.
我得把他丢回去
布洛克，你或许是个逊警官 但是只很棒的虫
You know, Bullock, you may be a lousy cop,
but you make a terrific worm.
你逃不掉的
You won't get away with this.
他说的没错 你开玩笑吧
He's right, you know.
You're kidding.
如果这个午餐肉块都找得到我们了 蝙蝠侠一定也快来了
If this Iunchmeat figured out where we are,
Batman won't be far behind.
为什么要坏了鲨鱼的食欲呢 我待会就可以喂他更大条的鱼
And why spoil my sharkie's appetite
when I can feed him bigger fish?
Hmm?
Ugh! Again with the fish. I hate fish.
又是鱼，我痛恨鱼
没有冒犯之意，小丑先生
- Uh, no offense, Mr. J. - Poor Harley.
可怜的哈莉 这个计划让你有点受不了是吧？
This caper's been kind of rough on you, hasn't it?
Uh-huh.
开心点，你可以当我的小美人鱼
Cheer up.
You can be my very own little mermaid.
Ooh.
你病的不轻，你知道吧，老板？
You're really sick, you know that, boss?
Mmm-hmm.
Huh?
这位仁兄…
Now, this fella here
自己龇牙裂嘴的过来
came with his own grin.
看得出来跟我有点像
See the resemblance?
顺便看看我今天的收获
And check out my catch of the day.
Bullock.
布洛克
我不需要蝙蝠电脑就知道 那只小鱼来自水族馆
I didn't need no bat computer to tell me
that weird Iookin' minnow came from an aquarium.
对呀，真是无聊
Yes, well, this is all tremendously boring.
当然，我是可以娱乐自己一下 看着他成为我的鲨鱼的食物
'Course, I can always amuse myself
watching old Harv give my shark indigestion.
Yeah.
好耶
等等
Wait!
Let him go.
放他走！你要的人是我
I'm the one you're after.
然后让我可怜的鱼饿肚子？ 这样好吗？
Gee, and let my little guppy go hungry?
I don't know.
你认为我们该怎么办呢？
What do you think we can do about that?
你是对的，哈莉 鱼是很恶心
You're right, Harley.
Fish are disgusting.
我想我会开始在家畜身上使用毒素 小丑汉堡〞
I think I'll start using my toxin on cattle.
"Joker Burgers." Ha!
真正的快乐餐
Talk about a Happy Meal.
You never could take a joke.
你真是开不起玩笑
他无法赢过那个怪物的！
He doesn't stand a chance against that monster!
- Yeah. Catch. - Hey!
对啊，抓住 嘿
嘿！嘿！
Hey.Hey!
Oh! Ah!
Oopsie.
喔喔
Huh?
你还好吗？
You okay?
帮我教训他，好吗？
Just give him one for me, will you?
Huh?
又再度回到〝扳手〞时间啦
Meanwhile, back at the wrench.
Since my side-splitters don't tickle you,
既然我的侧劈伤不了你 那么来个头劈吧？
how about a skull-splitter?
Oh!
你无路可去了，小丑
There's no place left to go, Joker.
看吧，蝙蝠侠 我设想周到
See, Batsy, I think of everything.
Huh?
喔，我可怜的小布丁
Oh, my poor, poor pudding.
拜托，他不过是个精神不正常的疯子
Come on, he was a demented, abusive, psychotic maniac.
对，我会很想念他
Yeah.
I'm really gonna miss him.
你想他永远离开了吗？
Do you think he's gone for good?
Believe me, Jim,
相信我，吉姆 我希望那是真的
I wish it were true.
但是我其实不太相信
But deep inside, I doubt it.
制片：艾伦伯涅、艾瑞克洛多斯基 布鲁斯提姆
English - SDH
[MANDARIN R3]