飞出个未来 让你目不转睛
第六季第六集 绝命质检
动中之动 水平有限 烦请指教 miom70reg@gmail.com
恐怕我是活不过这场模拟战争了 I fear I may not survive this war reenactment.
不敢相信我们离停车场只有12尺远 I can't believe we're only 12 feet from the parking lot.
以下多处引用本人不熟的星球大战典故 勉强翻译 见谅
这跟真的南北战争一样好玩 This is every bit as fun as the real Civil War.
不是南北战争 列兵 Not the Civil War, Private.
我们在重演西斯外星人之战 We're reenacting the Sith-Al War.
西斯入侵 纪念碑
西斯？ Sith?
Sith 邪恶杰迪武士
扯什么霍斯？ What the Hoth?
Hoth 冰雪行星霍斯
远方空中发现入侵者 Enemy invaders up in yonder sky!
我是Darth Storyer I am Darth Stroyer.
黑暗杰迪武士之名常以Darth起头
Darth Stroyer(毁灭者)? Darth Stroyer?
我听过的最蠢的名字 That's the stupidest name I've ever heard.
咱接着听 Let's hear the rest.
Darth Trocious Darth Trocious.
Darth Sploder Darth Sploder.
Darth Urderer Darth Urderer.
Darth It-head(它个头) Darth It-head.
弟兄们 上 Company, attack!
等到你们看到他们眼里的绿色再开火 Don't fire till you see the greens of their eyes.
能省子弹 It saves on bullets.
吾要挖出汝心再示于汝 I shall rip out your heart and show it to you.
成了 It is done.
人固有一死 或重于泰山 或轻于鸿毛 The candle that burns twice as bright burns half as long.
嗯 Mm-hmm.
哦 Whoa!
你死啦 You're dead.
不 我不过很老而已 No, I'm just very old.
哇哦 好演技 Whoa, that's good acting.
血债血偿 Sploder It's payback time, Sploder.
告诉俺娘 Tell my mother...
在Quizno's快餐店门口接我 to pick me up outside Quizno's.
死了仨 That's three dead.
啊哦 Whoa-ooh.
咱们要跟上趟 弟兄们 Let's pick up the pace, people.
要是在真的战争中 这会儿已经阵亡了980万人 At this point in the actual war, the death toll was 98 million.
你们人类和你们那弱不禁风的器官啊 You humans and your fragile organs.
稍微这么捅上一下 就... One little stab to the goo, and...
你完了 地球人 You're dead, Earth man.
哦 残酷的命运 Oh, cruel fate,
我挂了 I'm dead.
他们帮我换上正装 They're putting me in my Sunday suit
再将我放在木头盒子里 and shoving me in a wooden box.
现在他们将我安置于冰冷的大地 Now they're lowering me into the cold, cold ground.
好家伙 虫子来啦 Hello, here come the worms.
你要是真死了 哪还能这样笑 If you were really dead, you wouldn't be laughing so hard.
对 对 死亡对你们这些肉长的可是了不得 Yeah, yeah, death's a big deal to you flesh bags,
不过怕你没注意到 老子是机器人 but in case you didn't notice, I'm a robot.
咋 要是什么重家伙砸在你身上 好比个教堂 So? What if something heavy fell on you, like a church?
你还是会死 You could still die.
不 Nuh-uh.
老子的无线备份装置每天都把我复制一遍 My wireless backup unit saves a copy of me every day,
所以假如我的身子毁了 嘿嘿 so if my body gets killed, big whoop,
我就下载到别的身子里 I just download into another body.
老子长生不老 宝贝 I'm immortal, baby.
什么 那为啥一遇到危险 What?! Then how come you always scream
你就使劲尖叫 so much when you're in danger?
我又没说我不喜欢小题大做 I never said I wasn't a drama queen.
那么战争的胜利一方是... And the winner of the war is...
呃 让我再核对下表格 Ah, let me just cross-check my tabulation here.
给寡妇买襟花的因素... Factor in the corsages for the widows...
快点 你个净会打数字的打数男 Hurry up, you number- crunching crumbnuncher.
除我之外的所有人都快老死了 Everybody but me is dying of old age.
好的...啊 Okay... ah.
赢家 以每条命少12元 The winners, at a net cost
的悲剧净成本获胜 of only $12 per life cut tragically short,
我们的西斯霸主 our Sith overlords.
好爽 Hot diggity.
哦 我是说 Oh, I mean...
极爽 Supreme diggity.
好仗 好仗 好仗... Good war, good war, good war...
虽说仗是假的 可我这膝盖可烂得太真了些 It may have been a fake war, but my scuffed knee is all too real.
我浑身关节疼 我可是一个世纪前就弄掉了 I've got pains in joints I had removed a century ago.
Bender 把我带轮子的软椅拿过来 Bender, bring me my soft chair with the wheels on it.
你的轮椅？ 我不需要轮椅 Your wheelchair? I don't need a wheelchair!
带轮子的那个 The one with the wheels.
可怜的脆弱人类啊 Poor flimsy humans.
你们就不想变得如我般无暇？ Don't you wish you were flawless like me?
登峰造极的完美之躯 A towering inferno of physical perfection?
我不想打击你的自命不凡 不过你绝不完美 I hate to pop your blimp-like ego, but you are not perfect.
就是 绝不 Am so. Are not.
也是 谁说的？ Is too. Says who?
我唯一甚至稍微尊敬 Says the only human
其意见的人类说的 whose opinion I even remotely respect.
五号质检员 一个让孩子 Inspector Five, the best inspector
通过 #5
梦寐以求的质检员 a kid could want.
我出世那天 他打量着我 The day I was built, he looked me over,
可能眼中噙着骄傲的泪水 probably with tears of pride in his eyes,
以这片纸 向整个世界宣告 and proclaimed to all the world, by means of this scrap of paper,
我各个方面都完美无瑕 that I was perfect and infallible in every way.
嘿 完美先生 Hey, Mr. Perfect,
你弄湿了椅子 you wet the chair.
哼？不是我 Huh? Wasn't me.
兴许是那什么尿 你们还自豪来着 Must be some of that urine you're all so proud of.
不是尿 是油 That's not urine; it's oil.
胡说 Impossible.
我有三重密封来防止任何... I'm triple-sealed to prevent any chance of...
你那也叫喷墨防御？ You call that an ink defense?
回见 朋友们 Good-bye, friends.
为啥会漏呢？ What could have caused the leak?
过热 因为我魅力四射？ Excessive heat, on account of I'm so hot?
唉 不 Alas, no.
哦 Bender 恐怕那是个致命缺陷的症状 Oh, Bender, I'm afraid it's a symptom of a fatal defect.
呃 致命 活命 Eh, fatal, shmatal.
我要是死了 我就再下载个备份 If I die, I can just download my backup copy
到新的 一样牛的身子 into a new, equally fabulous body.
说的就是这个 你不能 That's just it. You can't.
你生来就没有备份装置 You were built without a backup unit.
压根就没有我的备份？ There's no backup copy of me?
我刚说过 你个会死的玩意儿 That's what I just said, you mortal coil.
那 要是我死了 So, if I die...
你就死了 或着按你的说法 You die, or as you put it...
嗯 失陪 Um, excuse me for a moment.
不... No...!
难以置信 我命不久 I can't believe it! I'm gonna die!
他还剩多少日子 教授？ How much time does he have left, Professor?
在一分钟和十亿年之间 Between a minute and a billion years.
那 起码你有个盼头 Well, at least you can plan accordingly.
死最差劲了 Dying sucks butt!
你们这些生物怎么能接受死亡的？ How do you living beings cope with mortality?
无恶不作 搔首弄姿 Violent outbursts. General sluttiness.
多亏了不认账 我不朽了 Thanks to denial, I'm immortal.
见鬼 老子应该完美才对 Damn it, I'm supposed to be perfect!
五号质检员都祝福了我来着 Inspector Five gave me his blessing!
他怎能将我带到这个世界 明知我会死？ How could he bring me into this world, knowing I would die?
那你宁愿压根没走这一趟 是不？ So you wish you were never born, maybe?
正是 除了不朽以外 Yes, anything less than immortality
任何事都是纯粹糟蹋时间 is a complete waste of time.
那就自杀好了 Then suicide it is.
迈进我的办公室 Step into my office.
保证给你个痛快 I'll give you a nice Kevorking.
除非老子抓住五号质检员 Not until I hunt down Inspector Five
再揍出个解释来 and beat an explanation out of him.
揍人我没意见 但是你永远找不到他 I'm all for a good beating, but you'll never find him.
质检员可是些公务员 Product inspectors are bureaucrats,
都是些随大流的没心没肺的家伙 faceless bean-counters who blend into the woodwork.
恕我不敢苟同 I beg to differ.
臭公务员 我恨他们 Stinkin' bureaucrats... I hate 'em!
话又说回来 Then again,
你还是有可能找到五号质检员的 you might be able to find Inspector Five
有其他老练公务员帮忙的话 with the help of another seasoned bureaucrat.
Hermes 老伙计 Hermes, old pal.
老伙计？ Old pal?
8.5秒之前 你还说你恨我 8.5 seconds ago, you said you hated me.
时过情迁啊 Time heals all wounds.
你还别说 我帮你 You know what? I will help you,
不过是为了证明我不是只会发文件的小丑 but only to prove I'm not just a paper-pushing file jockey.
你会带你的便携文件柜吗？ Will you be taking your portable filing cabinet?
少管闲事 None of your beeswax.
公证处 警告：门向上开启
我只出去一小时 I'll only be away an hour,
LI'L 公务员
我就指望你帮我 but I'm counting on you to do
做这些重要公务了 the all-critical filing in my absence.
我们要不要重温下字母表？ Shall we review alphabetical order?
快从我办公室出去 ♪ A-B-C-D... ♪ Get out of my office.
官中央 C楼 超过20亿人等待服务
是 我想申请一个死亡许可 Yes, I'd like to request a death certificate.
抱歉 那在C楼 Sorry, that's building C.
官中央 The Central Bureaucracy
保存着所有公务记录 maintains records on all bureaucrats.
我们应该能查到五号质检员 We should be able to look up Inspector Five.
限公务员
来访申请批准 Application for ingress approved.
其他可能随从哪？ And the other potential entrant?
呃... 他是我的铅笔刀 Uh... He's my pencil sharpener.
还用说 You betcha!
继续 Proceed.
我有个小隔间好在周末有地方躲 I maintain a cubicle here for weekend getaways.
哇 Wow.
我还以为大立方挺有劲来着 Until now, I thought giant cubes were exciting.
立方坐标
他们叫起来还有点意思 I did like the part where they screamed.
这个是我的 This is mine,
就在中央方块旁边 right next to the center square.
对不住 Hermes 我把你的涂改液都喝了 Sorry, Hermes, I drank all your white-out.
我一旦登陆 就能浏览所有五号质检员的数据 Once I log in, I can access Inspector Five's profile.
见鬼 上不去 Damn it, it won't go on!
那是因为你不是我 That's because you're not me.
万岁 上不去 Hooray, it won't go on!
公务员扫描系统不允许 The bureaucra-scan won't let anyone
非指定公务员登陆 but the assigned bureaucrat log in.
身份已认证 Identity confirmed.
另外 您的结肠里有一矩形物体 Also, you have a rectangular mass in your colon.
那是个计算器 我吃它是为了获取其能量 That's a calculator. I ate it to gain its power.
我穿踢屁脚的同时你去找五号质检员 You locate Inspector Five while I slip into my ass-kicking feet.
居然文件未找到 Sweet file-not-found- of-Puegot Sound.
他的资料都被和谐了 His record's been blanked.
啊 不会吧 Aw, man.
我还咋去找一个我啥都不知道的 How am I gonna find some anonymous guy
隐姓埋名的家伙 I don't know anything about?
那我推荐你去环球航空航站楼的男厕 I recommend the men's room at the TWA terminal.
世上最勇敢的仓鼠
好 按照字母顺序归档 Okay, just file it alphabetically...
♪ A-B-C-D... ♪
唔 这还要动点脑子 Well, this requires a little extra thought.
我是自然派的 I'm a natural.
我们要的信息应该在这 实体档案 The information we need will be here, in the physical files.
实体档案室
这些小崽子们不晓得谁要翻它们 Those bastards won't know what leafed through them.
是了 It's on.
不 不可能 No! This is impossible!
别迷糊了来看看这个 Quit blacking out and look at this.
一号质检员 二 三 四 六 Inspector One, Two, Three, Four, Six!
没有五号质检员的踪影 There's no trace of Inspector Five!
但是咱找的就是五号啊 But Five's the one we want!
也许我去给质检员二号外加三号 Maybe if I kicked the asses of Inspector Two,
一顿老拳 plus Inspector Three...
加法从来不能解决问题 哥们 Addition never solved anything, Mon.
我们还是少费点事回家吧 Let's cut our losses and go home.
那我必死无疑 So I'm doomed to die,
而且揍不到那个责任人？！ and I'll never even get to punch whoever's responsible?!
哦 还有啥想头 Oh, what's the point?!
Bender 不 Bender, no!
不一定非要自杀 Suicide isn't necessarily the answer.
这又不是自杀亭 你个蠢货 It's not a suicide booth, you lard ass.
这是个电话亭 It's a phone booth.
现在亭子里还装电话了？ They have phones in booths now?
怎算不用带着手机这个累赘了 Finally, I don't have to lug this cell phone around.
是哪个鬼东西？ Who the hell is this?
你是怎么弄到这个号码的？ How did you get this number?
是机器人公司吗？ Is this the Robot Company?
我要投诉一个有毛病的机器人 'Cause I have a complaint about a defective robot.
他的名字是我 His name is me!
有毛病的机器人 您刚说？ A defective robot, you say?
保持原地 亲爱的 Stay right there, dearie.
我马上派技术支持去服务您 I'll have tech support take care of you.
这样 事情才象话 Well, things are starting to look up.
小心 Look up!
你刚打给谁了 炸弹服务？ Who did you call, Dial-a-Bomb?
不 我刚告诉机器人公司我有毛病 No, I just told the robot company I was defective.
你真傻得冒泡 You dumb cocktail shaker!
妈妈不会允许一个缺陷产品 Mom won't allow a defective product
去玷污她的名声 to tarnish her good name!
她会干掉你 She'll kill you!
那又怎样 我只用下载到新的... Big whoop. I'll just download into a new...
哦 对了 Oh, right.
我要是死了 就死了 If I die, I die.
说到这个... Speaking of which...
你对了 你对了 你对了 You're right. You're right. You're right.
这就是你叫技术支持的下场 That's what you get for calling tech support.
我跑不动了 I can't run anymore.
我得跃 I'll have to skip.
再跑几步 Just a few more feet.
咱必须在7点38分赶到那堆死熊处 We have to get to that pile of dead bears by 7:38.
一堆死熊只意味着一件事 A pile of dead bears can only mean one thing.
是啥呢？ But what?
到7点38啦 It's the 7:38!
跳 Jump!
啊 糟 Ah, shoot!
有人说：“揍” Someone said shoot.
窄缝 禁止趴车乘客
这下玩完了 Well, we're boned.
不 咱还有戏 No, we're not!
咱们只要弯腰就行 We just got to limbo.
但是我被设计的不能弯那么狠 But I'm not designed to bend that low.
假如没有弯腰乐的话 Not without limbo music.
这就成了 That'll do it!
啊 啊 啊 啊 哦 Ow! Ow! Ow, ow! Ooh.
我们要被炒了 We're gonna get fired.
有人说：“抄家伙” Someone said fire.
跨大陆地铁
我们成功了 We did it!
一连弯了12个小时 12 straight hours of limbo.
自从蜜月一来我就没这么干过 I haven't done that since my honeymoon.
Hermes Hermes 还记得那一群蝙蝠吗？ Hermes, Hermes, remember that flock of bats?
自然 I sure do.
真有意思 That was fun.
咱这是在哪？ Where are we?
我没头绪 I have no idea.
欢迎来到墨西哥 美墨战争银牌得主
嘿 我们离提华纳(墨西哥城市)只有扔石头的距离 Hey, we're just a stone's throw from Tijuana.
看 See?
老天爷(西班牙语) Dios mio!
一块石头刚刚坠落到提华纳城郊 A rock has fallen here in the outskirts of Tijuana.
是不是在城界里？ Is it within the city limit?
我琢磨着 是 I think, yes.
我说吧 Told you.
嘿 要不要庆祝一下咱的大逃亡 Hey, you want to celebrate our escape?
也许来杯小酒看看斗鸡？ Maybe grab a shot of tequila and take in a big-league cockfight?
成 不 慢着 Sure. No, wait.
我就生在提华纳 I was built in Tijuana.
兴许五号质检员还在这干活 Maybe Inspector Five still works there.
他最好在我把他的脸打成 He better do some 'splainin'
一团浆糊之前解释得清楚 before I mash up some face guacamole.
他是墨西哥人 我是墨西哥人 He's Mexican, I'm Mexican.
看我的 Let me handle this.
请出示证件(西语) Sus papeles, por favor?
好(西语) Sí.
哎呦 Ouch-o!
这是我们的护照 签证 Here are our passports, visas,
和国土安全许可卡 and Homeland Security permission slips.
公证并上浆过 Notarized and starched.
好的 Okay.
我也受贿过了 I also would have accepted a bribe.
干得不错 屁精 Nice work, butterball.
你知道 上个礼拜我在意大利 You know, I was in Italy last week.
妈妈机器人制造公司
我的出生地 它关门了 My birthplace. It's closed!
连个我的纪念馆都没有 There's not even a shrine to me
带礼品店 卖我的小神像 with a gift shop, selling pi?atas of me!
到此为止了 哥们 End of the line, Mon.
来吧 咱们还能赶上斗鸡两场连赛 Come on, we can still catch a twi-night double-cockfight.
不 等等 No, wait!
那是啥 在墨西哥垃圾堆里 What's that in the Mexican garbage?
好像是被吃了一半的奶酪尿布 Looks like a half-eaten cheese diaper.
不 旁边那个 No, next to that.
吃了一半的员工目录 A half-eaten employee directory.
五号质检员的家庭住址 Inspector Five's home address!
他的屁股要谢谢了(疑为蹩脚西语) His ass-ias is gracias!
你往哪躲 你个胆小鬼 Where are you hiding, you coward?!
给我出来然后像个爷们一样被谋杀 Get out here and get murdered like a man!
Bender 恐怕咱们的搜寻是到头了 Bender, I'm afraid our search is at an end.
他明显早走了 He's obviously long gone.
哦 是么？！ Oh, yeah?!
那 也许这就是他 穿了马甲 Well, maybe this is him in a costume!
我要像挤牙膏一样把你挤出来 I'm gonna squeeze you out of there like Tijuana toothpaste!
哇哦 Whoa!
好吧 Bender 你终有一死 Okay, Bender, you're mortal.
而且不错 五号质检员搞砸了 And okay, Inspector Five screwed up.
但那只不过让你余下的时间变得更宝贵 But that just makes the time you have left all the more precious.
你真想把余生浪费 Do you really to waste the rest of your life
在怨天尤人上吗？ in a bitter, homicidal rage?
不 No!
是 Yes!
我不晓得 I don't know!
为啥？为啥他要这要对我？ Why? Why did he do this to me?!
我要的只不过是一丁点质量控制 All I wanted was a little quality control.
但他玩忽职守搞得我命不久 But he didn't care enough, and now I'm gonna die!
我不该到这个地步 I deserved better!
我是Bender 见鬼 I'm Bender, damn it!
我是Bender I'm Bender!
好啦 好啦 哥们 There, there, Mon.
会没事的 It's gonna be okay.
你是Bender You are Bender,
而这是五号质检员永远做不到的 which is something Inspector Five will never be.
你知道吗？ You know what?
你说的不错 You're right.
他不过是个笨蛋公务员罢了 He was just a stupid bureaucrat.
一个笨蛋 光会发文件的公务员 A stupid, paper-pushing bureaucrat.
一个只会坐在椅子做无用功的笨蛋 A stupid I-dotting, chair-squashing...
哦 Oh.
别见怪 Hermes No offense, Hermes.
你不是那种人 You're not like that.
我是说 你还就是那种人 不过你不赖 I mean, you're exactly like that, but you're okay.
事实上 我把你放在“不杀”名单上了 In fact, I'm putting you on the do-not-kill list.
来吧 会死的老兄 咱在提华纳 Come on, fellow mortal. We're in Tijuana.
我想滋润一下 I want to live a little.
救命 Help!
我要死啦 I'm gonna die!
那与我想要的正好相反 That's the opposite of what I want!
快 从后门跑 Quick, run out the back!
我会入侵五号质检员的终端 I'll hack into Inspector Five's terminal
然后让你诈死 他们就会撤走机器杀手 and fake your death, so they'll call off the kill-bots.
你晓得终端是无法入侵的 You know that terminal is unhackable!
我不会丢下你一人 就这么着 I'm not leaving you, and that's final!
好运 兄弟 Good luck, buddy.
Bender已终结 Bender terminated.
Bender获救了 Bender's saved.
停火 Cease fire.
妈妈取消了进攻 Mom called off the attack,
虽然我不明白怎么是她 although I don't see how it's her.
有人说：炸死它 Someone said Howitzer!
耶 Yay!
好呀 耶 All right! Yay!
哦 Oh...
他成功了 He did it!
而且这么酷的爆炸 And he's not looking back
他头都不回一下 at that cool explosion.
他是英雄 He's a hero!
这是怎么了？ What's happening?!
电话断线 飞船被没收 The phone's been disconnected, the ship's repossessed
而Zoidberg快被烤焦了 and Zoidberg's getting overcooked!
哦 哦 哦 哦 Aw, aw, aw, aw!
啊 一切如故 Ah, this place never changes.
Leela 以上帝的名义 这是咋啦？！ Leela, what in the name of Jah happened?!
文件太多啦 Too much papers!
又没有足够的植物好藏 Not enough hiding plants!
没事 It's all right.
这地儿只需要一个小时的官僚主义 This place just needs a one-hour bureaucratizing.
在你手下就那么简单 You make it look so easy.
我平时可没少吸文书的烟气 I've smoked a lot a paperwork in my day.
嘿 Bender 你们找到你们去找的人了吗？ Hey, Bender, did you ever find that inspector guy you were looking for?
吶 不过多亏这个傻帽 Nah. But thanks to this knucklehead,
我倒是找到了新的机器人生观 I did find a new outlook on life.
它是如此的宝贵和神圣 It's precious and sacred,
而一辈子一晃儿才几百万年 and you only get so many millions of years on this Earth.
所以咱们喝个痛快 So let's get brick-faced!
五号质检员
Little Bird, Little Bird Elizabeth Mitchell
♪little bird little bird fly through my window♪
♪and find molasses candy♪
♪fly through my window my sugar lump♪
♪chickadee chickadee fly through my window♪
五号质检站
残次 缺失备份装置
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