纯手工 (以及触角) 制作
飞出个未来字幕组倾情奉献
翻译: 叶水枫 Sheeta栗子 白雲滄狗 Black
校对: 井木犴 佐佐 后期 & 压制: SuperBrother
BINKS武装押运 绝对安全 敬请放心
超过800万美元 It's over eight million bucks.
真不少啊 That's a lot of deniros.
真是灰常灰常糟糕啊 Oh, this 'a Berry Berry bad!
地球真无聊 Earth's boring.
我有个点子 I'll save us.
咱们去我爸妈的华丽赌场玩吧 Let's go visit my parents at their fabulous casino...
就在火星维加斯 ...in Mars Vegas.
羞愧吧 地球 Take that, earth!
老虎机们小心咯 Look out, penny slots.
我可有手段了 I've got a system.
就是把我的钱全投给你 It's to put all my money in you.
Zoidberg Zoidberg,
维加斯可能不太适合你这种人 maybe Vegas isn't the best place for people like you.
怎么会? 那儿全是穿拖鞋的胖子啊 What? It's full of fat guys in sandals.
我的意思是 你的理财能力还有待提高 I just mean, your money management skills could use some work.
你看 我家能开赌场的唯一原因就是 Like, the only reason my family even owns a casino is
我们代代相传一直把财产盯得很紧 'cause we've kept such a close eye on our money for generations.
你确实该盯紧点儿 You sure have!
无意冒犯 Zoidberg No offense, Zoidberg,
但你留下别去可能更好 but maybe you'd be better off if you stayed behind.
好吧 留下更好 Oh, yes, better.
周末独守我那大垃圾箱 A lonely weekend in my dumpster
抱一罐硬币 噙两行泪 with a jar of pennies and tears.
听起来不错 周一见咯 Sounds good. See you Monday!
根号二新闻网 报道你所惧
条子追上来了 The cops are closing in.
最好把赃款先丢了 Better ditch the loot somewhere.
下面那个垃圾箱怎么样 Hey-yo, how about that dumpster down there?
你说72街小巷子里那个吗? You mean the one in that alley off 72nd street?
是啊 不然你以为我指哪儿? Yeah. What do you think I'm pointing at?
火星维加斯 我们来了 Mars Vegas, here we come!
上帝啊 我是Zoidberg God, it's Zoidberg.
本不想打扰你 但是… I hate to bother you, but...
好了 没事了 我闭嘴 Okay, okay, I'll shut up!
今晚: 有知觉的胡萝卜苗
来我们赌场运气会很好的 This very lucky casino we own.
分分钟都有人赢一百万美元 Someone wins one million dollar every hour!
主要是我们 Usually it us.
33号 黑色 33 black.
你们都输 Everyone lose.
我注意到很多员工都是火星土著 I can't help noticing a lot of your employees are native Martis.
是啊 他们是个自豪又怨念的民族 Yeah, they a proud, grouchy people.
可他们却在自己的土地上做着最低薪的工作 Well, they do work for minimum wage in a land that was once theirs.
是啊 但他们从没好好利用土地 Yeah, but they never made wise use of the land.
我们的祖先Reginald Wong发现他们时 When my ancestor Reginald wong found them here,
这里不仅没有bingo游戏厅 而且只有一个妓女 they had no bingo parlors and only one prostitute.
真悲催 Pfft. Pathetic.
这里是自助餐 This here the buffet.
非免费大虾自助餐
来的正是时候 Ooh, perfect timing!
现在是每周撤换大虾的时间 It's the weekly changing of the shrimp!
"新鲜"大虾 50加仑
楼上是点票室 Way up here's the money counting room.
这是火星上最快乐的地方 It's Mars' happiest place on earth!
这么多钱足够养活一个挨饿的小星球 This much money could feed a small, starving planet.
但我们不给 But it doesn't!
我就弯腰捡个东西 I'll just reach down and get that.
闻起来不对劲 Something don't smell right.
别惹瞎子Joe Don't mess with blind Joe.
没什么能逃过他的嗅觉 Nothing get past his sense of smell.
是啊 他来就是干这个的 Yeah, that's why he in here.
看守银河系最安全的保险库 Guarding galaxy's most secure safe.
每天3:45 我们把当日收入存进去 Every day at 3:45, we load in the daily take.
整个地方就是一座完美运作的机器 This whole place is finely tuned machine
从各种傻子那儿吸金 for separating suckers from their money.
第五类傻子到达 Category-five sucker now arriving.
♪ 你走进来的那一刻 ♪ ♪ the minute you walked in the joint ♪
♪ 我就闻到了你身上的臭 ♪ ♪ I could smell you were a man who was stinkin ♪
♪ 一只很大的龙虾 ♪ ♪ a real big lobster ♪
♪ 新鲜的甲壳生物 ♪ ♪ fresh shellfish ♪
♪ 你传染我皮疹 ♪ ♪ you give me a rash ♪
♪ 女士们喜爱穿着现金的十足目生物 ♪ ♪ ladies love a decapod with clothes made of cash ♪
十足目: 节肢动物软甲纲的一目
♪ 那就让我进入正题 ♪ ♪ then let me get right to the point ♪
♪ 不是什么螃蟹都值得我开锅一煮 ♪ ♪ I don't boil my pot for every crab I see ♪
♪ 嘿 有钱的龙虾 ♪ ♪ hey, rich lobster ♪
♪ 给我你的一大卷票子 ♪ ♪ blow your wad of cash on me ♪
Zoidberg 你怎么在这儿? Zoidberg, what are you doing here?
这些钱是怎么回事? And what's with all the money?
我有800万美元 It's my eight million dollars.
上帝给我的 God gave it to me.
听着 Oh, come now!
上帝可不是靠乱发钱成为上帝的 God didn't get to be God by giving away money.
放轻松 Ah, loosen up.
钱不过身外之物 You can't take it with you.
现在我要带着钱去赌场了 Now I'm heading down to the casino,
现在我要带着钱去赌场了 and I'm taking my money with me.
穷人就是这么败家的 This is why you never see a poor
穷人就是这么败家的 person with millions of dollars
每个筹码一百万
八个一百万的筹码 谢谢 eight one-million-dollar chips, please.
这差不多是八个 I think that's about eight.
全押在34号上 Everything on 34.
Zoidberg Zoidberg,
你在干嘛啊?! what are you doing?!
不清楚 我记得这叫轮盘赌 I don't know. I think it's called roulette.
34号 红色 34 red.
你赢了2亿8800万美元 You win $288 million
全押上 Let it ride!
34号 红色 Martian roulette dealer: 34 red.
103亿6800万美元 Ten billion, 368 million dollars.
一杯带沙丁鱼的伏特加 谢谢 Vodka with a sardine in it, please.
确切说 每人一杯带沙丁鱼的伏特加 In fact, vodka with a sardine all around!
继续押 And let it ride!
住手 至少留出10亿买栋体面别墅啊 Stop! At least set aside a billion for a decent apartment.
不 我要享乐 享受沙提尼 No! I'm having fun and a sardini!
15号 黑色 Martian roulette dealer: 15 black.
上帝总算显灵了啊 Now that's the God I know.
Zoidberg 你有毛病吗? Zoidberg, what is wrong with you?
你刚才扔掉了一大笔钱 You just threw away a fortune!
得之我幸 失之我命 Ah, easy come, easy go.
至少我让火星上的每个人 在那一瞬间都感到了快乐 But for one brief moment, I made everybody on Mars happy.
要我说 那样我就算是成功者 And if you ask me, that makes me a winner.
第五类失败者离场 Category-five loser now departing.
♪ 嘿 大龙虾... ♪ ♪ hey, big lobster... ♪
我就不废话了 I'll make th simple.
要钱还是要命 Our money or your life.
来杯沙提尼? Sardini?
我说的是实话 我发誓 I'm telling you the truth, I swear.
阿钳 找个整家伙伺候他脑袋 Clamps, break something over his head.
这鬼地方没一样完整家伙 Everything in here's already broken.
那就找个比较整的 用那个 Find the least broken object and use that.
Judith Krantz: 美国浪漫小说作家
这本Judith Krantz的小说只掉了封皮 This Judith Krantz novel's only missing its frontispiece.
我说了 我把钱在火星维加斯花光了 I told you, I spent it in Mars Vegas!
八百万一干二净 All eight million dollars!
老板 在这种利器面前他应该不会说谎 He can't be lying', boss. not after a krantzing like that.
好吧 恐怕我们只能杀掉你 All right. Then I'm afraid we must kill you
把尸体扔到最近的垃圾桶了 and dispose of your body in the nearest dumpster.
我们在的这只貌似就很近 This one we're in seems pretty close.
他身体里全是墨汁 He's full of ink!
我们应该带枪的 We should have brought a gun.
维加斯这个周末真是糟透了 That was one hell of a weekend in Vegas.
伙计 我的飞船呢? Dude, where's my ship?
停在那儿了 I parked it over there.
我倒不记得什么了 但感觉还不错 Well, I don't remember much, but I feel fine.
天哪 Amy的镜子居然有纹身 Oh, my God! Amy's mirror got a tattoo!
幸好我们对这种情况早有准备 Oh, luckily, we're prepared for this eventuality.
那是什么? 激光纹身消除器? What's that? A tattoo-removal laser?
Hermes 尽说些胡话 Oh, Hermes, you and your Sci-Fi nonsense.
不 这只是一个墨水偏振镜 No, this is simply a translucidating ink polarizer.
它能让光子通过色素分子 It aligns the pigment molecules, channeling photons through
从而使墨水变透明 ...and rendering the ink invisible
所以它没普通纹身消除器那么痛吧 ah, so it's less painful than regular tattoo removal.
谁说的 Nobody said that.
机器人黑手党在追我 The robot mafia's after me!
赶紧把我藏起来 不然我完蛋了 You got to hide me, or it's curtains for Johnny Z.
把一只满身墨水的大龙虾藏起来? Hide a giant lobster covered in ink?
你倒是说说我们怎么藏啊? And how do you propose we do that?
天呐 My God!
他全身都是墨水 He was so saturated with ink
所以整个身体都被消去了 that his entire body structure was polarized!
你是说我隐形了? You mean I'm invisible?
不 没有 我不是这个意思 No, no, no. Not in any sense of the word.
但本质上是的 完全隐形了 But essentially, yes, entirely.
没用的 Zoidberg It's no use, Zoidberg.
我们差不多85%确定你在里面 We're, like, 85% sure you're in there!
那家伙在哪? Where is that rat?
Zoidberg不在这里 Zoidberg's not here.
好吧 如果你们见到他 All right, but if you see him,
就给他这样来一下 give him one of these...
这样来一下 ...and one of these...
不要这样来 and not one of these.
来吧 阿钳 我们走 当心点 Come on, clamps, let's go, and watch out...
这里有股奇怪的味道 there's some sort of smelly air pocket over here.
看来没戏了 Well, that's that.
我们从这个Zoidberg手里拿不回钱了 We ain't getting our money ba from this Zoidberg.
嘿 老大 这个赌场看起来挺赚钱的啊 Hey, boss, this here casino looks like it makes lot of money.
也许我们黑手党应该投身这一行 Maybe the mafia should get involved in the casino business.
- 你算什么? 白痴吗? - 差不多是 - What are you, an idiot? - Pretty much, yeah.
那你就不会注意我剽窃你的主意了 Then you won't notice when I claim your idea as my own.
走吧 Come on,
我们去接手这个赌场 let's go take over this casino.
让开 Fore!
王先生 我们有个不情之请 Mr. wong, we have a mafia proposal for you.
把你的赌场交给我们 Your casino... give it to us.
好的 可以 正好我退休去豪宅享清福 Okay, fine, I just retire to my fabulous mansion.
老大 那种豪宅不也是你喜欢的吗? Hey, boss, ain't that the type of mansion you like?
驱逐通牒
王氏农场 你已来到王家的领地
Amy 黑手党抢走了咱家全部家当 Oh, Amy, the mafia took everything we had...
咱家的赌场 豪宅 our casino, our home,
还有那些稀有品种的仆人们 and our collection of rare servants.
别难过 妈妈 你们可以过来和我住啊 Don't worry, mom, you can always come live with me.
不能啊 傻闺女 No, we can't.
你以为谁给你交的房租啊? Who do you think been paying your rent?
房租是啥? What's rent?
好了 我们到垃圾场了 Okay, we're at the dump.
这些玩意要扔哪儿? Where should we heave this stuff?
这里不是垃圾场 It's not a dump.
这是公司为员工建的职工宿舍 It's the company housing we built for our employees.
现在我们也就住得起这里了 Only place we can afford now.
那就扔这个血糊糊的床垫上? Just drop it here on this bloody mattress?
谢谢你 纸巾幽灵 Thanks, tissue ghost.
你已经用不起纸巾了 You can't afford tissue any more.
这是沃尔格林牌鼻涕纸 This is Walgreens brand nose paper.
沃尔格林：美国最大连锁药店
Zoidberg? Zoidberg?
你居然趁我洗澡时溜进来? You snuck in here while I was taking a bath?
错 是你在我拿泡泡蛋糕时溜了进来 No, you snuck in here while I was grabbing a bubble cake.
听着 Zoidberg 我该向你道歉 Listen, Zoidberg, I owe you an apology.
不 不用 你继续 No, no, no. Go ahead.
因为你穷 我就觉得比你有优越感 I was condescending to you 'cause you were poor,
现在我知道了谁都有落魄的时候 but now I realize it can happen to anyone.
对不起 I'm sorry.
我很感动 Amy I appreciate that, Amy.
也许我能在哪里帮到你? Is there any way I can help, maybe?
算了 我看不出你能… No, I don't see how...
慢着 看不出 Wait, don't see.
这就是你能帮到我的地方了 That's how you can help.
有一个办法能让一切恢复原样 There's one sure way to set everything right.
我们要利用你的隐身能力 We'll use your invisibility
实施一个复杂而大胆的赌场抢劫计划 to pull off a daring and complex casino heist.
那是当然 因为没人能看到我在做什么 Of course, because no one can possibly know what I'm up to.
我召集大家来图表室 I've summoned you to the chart room
是向大家说明我们如何闯入赌场金库 to explain how we're going to break into the casino vault,
然后从黑手党眼皮底下盗出几百万美元 steal millions of dollars from under the mafia's nose,
最后把赌场交还给真正的主人 and return the casino to its rightful owners.
有问题吗? Questions?
我们以前怎么从没来过这儿 Um, how come we've never been in this room before?
这张图表应该能回答你 I think this chart will answer that.
图表室使用率
现在 说说抢劫 Now, the heist.
正如诸位所知 主金库位于顶层点票室的这个位置 As you know, the main vault is here in the counting room on the top floor.
但你老爸说那是全银河系最安全的保险库 But your dad said it's the galaxy's most secure safe.
没错 但他们要在每天3:45开库 放入当日收入 Yes, but they open it every day at 3:45 to load the take.
这时Zoidberg可以大摇大摆进去 Then Zoidberg walks right in,
因为他看不见 because he's invisible.
那么 那个 也许能行 Well, that, that just might work.
我在这里 拿着甜甜圈呢 Over here with the donut.
但钱不是隐形的啊 But the money's not invisible.
如果黑手党看见一摞钱飞出去 If the mafia sees stacks of cash floating out,
他们不由分说就先开枪了 won't they shoot first and ask questions later?
让Zoidberg把钱吃进去就没事了 Not if Zoidberg eats the money.
他吃下去的任何东西也都会变得看不见 Everything he swallows turns invisible.
像这样 Like so.
之后我们再找时间把钱拿出来就好了 Then later we just retrieve it at our convenience.
等一下 这么多钱得有300多磅重呢 Hold on, that much cash would weigh over 300 pounds.
现金重量
带这么重的东西 Zoidberg怎么走得出来? How can Zoidberg walk out with that much weight?
就算他能看不到 但也不是闻不到的啊 And he may be invisible, but he's not insmellable.
他臭的就像刚从咚咚兽肚子里出来 He stinks like the inside of a tauntaun.
咚咚兽: 星战中霍斯星球上的生物
这不会引起注意吗? Won't someone notice the stench?
不会的 为了让大家保持警觉 No, and to keep you on your toes,
我会在抢劫开始之后再为大家解释 I'll explain why only after the heist has begun.
周五下午 3：30
王氏酒店&赌场
暴徒酒店&赌场
整个行动的关键在于赌场中的大虾自助餐 The key to the whole operation is the casino's shrimp buffet.
非免费大虾自助餐
今天是周五 他们会撤换沤了一周的大虾 Today is Friday, the day the week-old shrimp get hauled off,
虾臭正好浓烈到掩盖住Zoidberg的存在 so the stench should be just strong enough to mask Zoidberg's presence.
什么东西这么臭? Ew, what's bringing the stank?
不是我的赌博专用尿布 我才换了的 It ain't my gambling diaper. I just changed it.
肯定是这些虾 Must be the shrimp.
居然行得通 It's working.
Zoidberg 你在干嘛? Zoidberg, what are you doing?
不好意思 我只是太饿了 Sorry, I'm just so hungry.
别把胃口搞坏了 Don't spoil your appetite.
你还得灌300磅现金沙拉呢 You need to eat 300 pounds of cash salad.
正好3点40分 At precisely 3:40
防化小分队到达现场换掉那些虾 the Hazmat team arrives to swap out the shrimp.
与此同时 十层楼之上的保险库正在打开 Meanwhile, ten floors above,the vault is being opened.
闻起来不太对劲 Something don't smell right.
歇歇鼻子吧 装虾车来了而已 Eh, shut your nose. It's just the shrimp cart.
吃了那些过期虾 我感觉不太舒服 I think there was something wrong with that rotten shrimp.
别牢骚了 Stop griping.
快进去 记得把库里东西全部吃光 Now get in there, and remember, eat everything in the safe,
尤其是那个金属小盒 那是里面最重要的东西 especially the little metal box. That's the most valuable thing of all.
三 二 一 Three, two, one.
别介啊 我们的推车 Oh, no, our cart!
咱得靠这玩意儿干活呢 We count on that for our job that we do.
Joey 你应该有手指头吧 Joey, you got fingers, right?
帮这位女士修好轮子 Help me fix the lady's wheel.
只要我们的人一进去 Once our man's inside
我们就要分散Donbot的注意力 we'll need to distract the Donbot
以防他提前把保险库的门关上 so he doesn't close the safe prematurely.
话说 我看今天可以提前关上这门了 You know, I think I'll close the safe a little prematurely today.
别关门 伙计儿 Don't shut that door, partner.
我是个超超超有钱的德克萨斯富豪 I'm a cr-razy Texas robot millionaire,
我打算在你的赌场输上个好几百万 and I plan on losing billions in your "casiny."
这些钱输给你之后存在这柜子里安全吗? can you assure me my losings will be safe in this here money closet?
是的 请让一下 Yes. Please step aside.
四级警报 四级警报 Four-alarm chili.Four-alarm chili.
你好 我是尼日利亚总理Nelson Okeke Hello! I'm prime minister Nelson Okeke of Nigeria.
相信你一定收到过我的诈骗邮件 I trust you received my spam e-mail?
尼日利亚骗局: 一种邮件诈骗手段
Nelson 多亏你在这里 Hermes Nelson, thank God you're here, Hermes!
撑死了 Oy, so full.
还得再吞掉这个金属盒子 And I still have to eat the metal box.
看我这身牛仔裤和帽衫就知道 As you can see by my jeans and hoodie,
我是一个年轻的IT界亿万富翁 I'm a young Internetbillionaire.
救命 我不行了 动都动不了 Help! I'm sick! I can't move at all!
什么声音? What was that?
是我在说 "窝洞斗洞补鸟勒" Uh, I said "aseeka kanamoo atall."
意思是 "我们得以一种独特的形式先撤退了" It means, uh, "we must leave now in an unusual manner."
我蛮享受这些赌场生意 五花八门 啥人都有 I'm enjoying the casino business. You meet a lot of colorful characters.
搞定了 你们可以走了 Okay, you're good to go.
把这堆垃圾运出去 Get this bubba dump out of here.
好了 按楼顶那层我们就自由了 Okay, push "roof" and we're home free!
Zoidberg太重了 电梯在下坠 Zoidberg's too heavy! The elevator's dropping!
改变计划 我们只能从主出口撤离了 Change of plan! We'll have to leave through the main exit!
大家一起说 鲜虾来了 Everybody say "fresh shrimp!"
可真是颠簸之旅啊 Oh... that was a rough ride.
快看 运虾车吐钱了 Look！The shrimp cart's paying out!
继续走 我们快出去了 Keep going.We're almost outside!
Zoidberg 求你少打点嗝 Zoidberg, try to just burp up singles.
瞎子Joe Blind Joe!
万事逃得过你们的眼睛 也休想逃过我的鼻子 Smell with your eyes what I see with my nose.
让我好好看看这是个什么东西 Well, well, well, what have we here?
说真的 这到底是什么? Seriously, what is that?
不管他是谁还是什么东西 It's whoever or whatever
反正就是个偷你东西的贼 just emptied out your safe.
好的 干掉他 瞎子Joe Allight, shoot him, blind Joe.
杀鸡给猴看 And let this be a lesson...
看哪个白化病龙虾还敢打我赌场的主意 to any other albino lobsters thinking of robbing our casino
开枪吧 There ya go.
别开枪 我要给你看个合同 Don't shoot! I have a deal to offer you.
对不起 我们火星土著对你们王家的合同没什么兴趣 Sorry. We native martians aren't so crazy about dealswith the wong family.
那是因为你不知道原始版的合同 That's because you don't know the original deal,
几个世纪以来我们家都对这份合同保密 the one my family kept secret for centuries.
这就是Reginald Wong签署的原始版合同 This is the original contract signed by Reginald wong.
合同里说我的祖先会掌管这块土地一百年 It stated that my ancestors would hold the land for a hundred years,
之后就会返还给火星人 after which it was supposed to revert to the martians.
这个赌场现在属于你们了 This casino belongs to your people!
可是Amy 你最初是计划把赌场夺回来的 But Amy, you planned this whole thing to get the casino back!
是的 夺回来还给它真正的主人们 Yes, back to its rightful owners.
等等 等等 Now just a hold-on minute.
就算非法 这赌场也是我们的 This casino is wrongfully ours.
保安 Security!
把这些入侵者埋进这片沙漠最稳妥的坑里 Escort the trespassers to one of the desert's finest holes.
乐意至"极" With ironic pleasure.
走吧 入侵者们 Let's go, trespassers.
- 嘿 干嘛? - 轻点 别这样 - Hey! What? Hey! - Hey, what are you doing? Take it eas'!
虽然赌场没了 Well, we lost the casino,
但是看在Amy的慷慨份上 but thanks to Amy's kindness,
火星人还回了我们原来的房子 the martians gave us back our house...
和另一家赌场 And our other casino.
那我们故事的英雄Zoidberg怎么样了呢? So what happens to the hero of our story, Zoidberg?
我会永远隐身下去吗? Will I be invisible forever?
不 只要你洗个澡 冲掉隐形墨水就好了 No, only until you take a bath and wash off this invisible ink.
那没戏了 So, forever.
别这样 来嘛 Aw, come on.
你可以在豪华套房中享受水疗 You can use the spa tub in the high-roller suite.
♪ 嘿 大龙虾 ♪ ♪ Hey, big lobster! ♪
♪ 跟我一起洗澡澡吧 ♪ ♪ Take a little bath with me! ♪