第三宇宙一流名剧
飞出个未来字幕组倾情奉献
翻译: 井木犴 白雲滄狗 大宋@閗帮主 井脑湿 校对: 佐佐 后期 & 压制: SuperBrother 盖罗
你这是要刷牙吗? Are you about to brush your teeth?
是啊 怎么了? Yeah. Why?
没啥 No reason.
你笑个毛啊? What's so funny?
真的没啥 Eh, nothing.
等等 Wait a minute.
你是不是又用我的牙刷给屁股抛光了? Have you been using my toothbrush to polish your ass again?
什么?! 我? 机器人Bender? What?! Me, Bender the robot?
上面有一些金属屑 There's metal flakes on it.
长得就像你的屁股屑 And they look like ass flakes.
你怎么能怀疑我 How dare you accuse me!
我绝对不会对朋友做出这种事 I would never do something like that to a friend...
特别是每天晚上在他睡觉的时候 Every single night while he's sleeping.
我是你的眼 监视设备折扣店
谁派你来的?! 为什么打扮成Fry的样子? Who sent you?!Why are you dressed like Fry?
因为我就是Fry 'Cause I'm Fry.
Fry 你这偏执狂老伙计 Oh! Fry, you old paranoid kook.
来点什么? What can I get you?
我想在浴室装个隐藏摄像头 A hidden camera for my bathroom.
我怀疑有个机器人在里面从事非法刷屁屁活动 I suspect a certain robot of unauthorized butt brushing.
了解 Got ya.
你需要的正是这种全息迷你摄像头 What you need is one of these holographic minicams.
可一步完成所有角度的拍摄 Films in every direction at once
还可将视频远端存储在15英寸"软"盘上 And stores the video on a remote 15-inch floppy disc.
就要这个了 I'll take it!
太棒了 我给你包起来 Excellent. Let me just wrap that up for you.
谁在说话?! Who said that?!
Hermes午餐
你又把我午饭吃了 你这臭蚌壳 You ate my lunch again,you tainted oyster!
胡说 我今天自己带午饭来了 That's a lie! I brought my own lunch today.
Amy 不准你再用我的沙袋练高尔夫球 Amy, quit using my punching bag for golf ball target practice.
都坑坑洼洼的了 It's all lumpy.
不是我 It wasn't me.
说起来你才是在用我的高尔夫球杆给飞船压槽吧 And anyway, you're the one who's been using my golf clubs to pound dents out of the ship.
不是我把球杆弄弯的 I didn't bend your golf club.
不过要是下次我真的把它弄弯 就是在你的头上 And the next time I don't bend it, it'll be over your head.
好了各位... 还有某些东西 All right, people...and other things,
我们有些大宗订单要来 所以... We got some big deliveries coming up, so...
大伙儿注意一下 Your attention, please.
相信大伙很想知道为什么今天我让你们在这儿集合 I'm sure you're all wondering why I gathered you here today.
我们每天都在这儿集合呀 We gather here every day.
当着大伙儿的面 I hereby, in front of all of you,
我指控Bender使用我的牙刷抛光他的屁股 accuse Bender of polishing his ass with my toothbrush.
说谎 他就是嫉妒他的牙齿没我的屁股闪亮 Lies!He's just jealous that my ass is shinier than his teeth.
马上就知道谁在说谎了 朋友 Ha-ha, we'll find out who's lying, my friend.
因为我在公寓里装了隐藏摄像头 Because I planted a spy camera in our apartment!
咱就来看看昨晚我睡觉时你都干了些什么 Let's just see what you were up to last night while I was asleep.
好啊 看就看 Yes, let's do see.
好了 开始 Okay, get ready.
额 再看一会儿 Uh, keep watching.
我稍微快进一下 Let me fast forward a little.
对不起 Bender 我想我欠你一个道... Huh. Well, sorry, bender.I guess I owe you an apol...
嘿 等一下 门厅那边在搞什么? Hey, wait! What's going on through that doorway?
动手吧 医生 把他切了 Let's go, doc, chop him up.
我有个大客户需要这个肾 抓紧 I got a rich customer needs that kidney, stat.
看到了吧 我没动你的牙刷 There, see? I didn't use your toothbrush.
你偷了我一个肾 You stole my kidney!
别想转换话题 Don't try to change the subject.
够了你们两个 正好我也装了个摄像头 Enough, you two. It just so happens that I also planted a spy camera
好抓包Amy偷用我的沙袋 To catch Amy using my punching bag.
但我内心还是好空虚 Yet still, I feel empty inside.
真是我睡过最不舒服的睡袋了 That's the most uncomfortable sleeping bag I ever slept in.
你住在我的沙袋里面? You were living in my punching bag?
如果那也能叫"住"的话 If you call that living.
- 是你把我的球杆拗弯了? - 是啊 - You bent my golf club? - Yep.
可这又解决了什么呢? And yet, what did it solve?
暴力到底能解决什么呢? What did the violence solve?
真是有够蠢的 Enough of this foolishness!
不过我也装了摄像头 来抓Zoiberg偷吃我的午饭 Amazingly, I, too, set up a spy camera to catch Zoidberg stealing my lunch.
对 我会把肾冷藏的 没问题 Yeah, I'll keep the kidney cool, no problem.
你吃了我的肾? You ate my kidney?
我以为是Hermes的异国小午餐 I thought it was one of Hermes' exotic lunches!
你不能偷吃我的异国小午餐 这是很严重的侵犯 女士 You can't eat my exotic lunch! That's a serious offense, woman!
- 她吃了我的肾 - 对不起 - She ate my kidney! - I'm sorry.
我一到十一点半就很饿 I just get really hungry about 11:30.
这不是借口 只是对所发生事情的解释 That's not an excuse. It's just an explanation of what happened.
我不太舒服 I don't feel well.
开始怀疑我被肾移植手术给坑了 I'm beginning to think my kidney transplant was a total rip-off.
咱们来看看吧 Let's take a look-see.
我的调羹汉堡 My manwich!
难怪我的尿闻起来有股饭味 No wonder my urine smells like a meal.
别再吵吵闹闹出洋相了 Enough, you babbling boobs!
如果大家互相都不信任 公司还怎么运作? How can this company function when no one trusts each other?
必须得做点什么了 Something must be done.
但首先我得去找个能治牛肉堡的大夫 But first I have to see a man about some ground beef.
看你们把我逼的 Look what you made me do.
咱们得去进行团队拓展训练 We're going on a corporate team-building retreat.
- 什么? - 天 - 饶了我吧 - What?! - Oh, man! - Come on!
不 No!
大家好 星际快递的员工们 Hello, planet express!
我是Dan Mcmasters 你们的训练领队 I'm Dan Mcmasters, and I'll be your retreat leader
保证你们这周玩得高兴并得到个人提升 For a week of fun and personal empowerment.
我希望你们开心 I hope you're happy!
你是谁? Who are you?
小Jackie 夫人 Jackie Jr., ma'am.
小Jackie是我徒弟 Jackie Jr.'s my apprentice.
我想着既然他要在这儿工作 就得熟悉这个团队 I figure if he's gonna work here, he might as well get to know the team.
- 她是谁? - 不知道 - Who's she? - I don't know.
我听说咱们之间有点信任问题了啊? So I hear we've been having some trust issues, huh?
在接下来的一周里 咱们要做上百次信任背摔 Well, for the next week, we'll be doing hundreds of trust falls
从任何可能的高度 任何重力条件下摔 from every possible height and level of gravity.
或者我们可以不做那玩意 Or we could not do that.
每次训练开始时 我总是要先阐明信任的力量 At the start of every retreat, I like to demonstrate the power of trust
找一位完全陌生的人来做我的助手 by finding a perfect stranger to be my assistant.
Leela 帮我个忙 Leela, do me a solid...
让你遇到的下一位太空搭车者上车 and pick up the next space hitchhiker you see.
你们去仙女座或那附近的地方吗? You going to andromeda or thereabouts?
不去 先生 No, sir,
但你愿意加入一个激动人心的公司拓展训练吗? But how would you like to be part of an exciting business retreat?
别像上个家伙那样把我扔在小行星上就行 Mm, just don't drop me off on an asteroid like the last guy did.
好了 队员们 如果我能信任一位完全陌生的人 Okay, team, if I can trust a total stranger,
你们也一定可以信任你们自己的同事 You can sure as heck trust your own coworkers.
实际上 我要做这周的第一次信任背摔 In fact, I'm gonna make the first trust fall of the week
背摔进我这位新助手伸出的臂膀里 Backwards into the waiting arms of my new assistant.
就站在这 这样 Just stand here like so.
好 我要背着摔下去 你要接住我 Good. I'll fall backwards, and you catch me.
我信任你... I trust you...!
它去哪了? Where'd it go?!
我以为我们装了防外星人排气管道 I thought we installed alien-proof air vents!
我正要装 It's on my list.
发生了什么?! What's happening?!
飞船失去动力了 The ship's lost power!
天呐 在宇宙深处飘荡 Oh, my, adrift in deepest space
船里还有一只凶残的外星杀手 With a vicious alien killer aboard!
我们中的任何人都可能是下一个受害者: Any one of us could be next:
Fry Bender 小Jackie Leela... Fry, Bender, Jackie Jr., Leela...
下手比我想得要慢了些 That took longer than I expected.
快 到飞船安全舱里去 Quick, into the ship's panic room!
食谱
我都不知道咱们还有安全舱 I didn't know we had a panic room.
我也不知道 这真的会救我们很多次 Me, neither. It really could have come in handy,
得有50次吧 Like, 50 times.
我们在这里会很安全 墙壁坚不可摧 We'll be safe in here. The walls are impregnable,
还有充足的食物和棋盘游戏 可以玩乐好几周 and we have enough food and board games to survive for weeks.
氧气供应
一小时内我们就得死 We'll be dead within an hour.
所有的生命维持设备都坏掉了 All life support has shut down!
生命维持失效
就是说你们都要死了? So you're all gonna die?
那谁来代我写自传啊? Then who'll ghost-write my autobiography?
等一下 Now hold on.
咱们还有一丝生机 There may be a slim chance of survival.
咱们来分成三组 We'll have to split into three teams.
Hermes和Zoidberg从排气管道爬出去 Hermes and zoidberg will crawl through the air vents
重启生命维持风扇 And restart the life support fan.
Amy和Leela去拿方向盘 Amy and leela will retrieve the steering wheel
我们就能在这里操纵飞船了 So we can steer the ship from here.
Fry和Bender从船体外面太空行走到后面 And fry and bender, you'll spacewalk onto the hull
重新点燃发动机上的信号灯 And relight the pilot light on the engine.
天 为什么非要让我跟和他一组? Aw, man, why do I have to team up with him?
我和她? And me with her?
我和这东西? And I with it?
已经没时间了 There's not time to lose.
要小心 那怪物可能在任何地方 Just be careful. The creature could be anywhere...
就是不会在这个屋子里 Except in this room.
这个游戏叫糖果乐园 The name of the game is Candy Land.
气阀 禁止打保龄球
你先走 You go first.
我可不想你像哈儿那样把我锁在船外 I don't want you locking me out there like Hal.
科幻电影《太空漫游》中的角色
还是不信任我哈? Still don't trust me, huh?
那你趁早把不信任感都塞到你的腰子里吧 Well, you can take your lack of trust and jam it in your kidney hole.
我只相信我自己 The only person I trust is myself.
救命 我忘穿磁力鞋了 Help! I forgot my magnetic shoes!
别碍我的事了 小朋友 Just stay out of my way, boy.
信号灯
好了 There.
有了Bender 谁还需要团队合作? Who needs teamwork when you got Bender?
救命 我的陀螺仪熔化了 我失控了 Help! My gyroscope melted! I'm out of control!
如果那个怪物把我杀了 If the creature kills me,
我只希望它别把我做成三明治 I just hope it doesn't make me into a sandwich
然后放到一个龙虾都能够得着的冰箱里 And leave it in the fridge where some crawfish can get at it.
最后说一遍 Hermes 我没偷你的午餐 For the last time, Hermes, I didn't steal your lunch.
是Leela 她抢在我前面了 It was Leela. She beat me to it.
你咋不说是乌贼偷的 我们到了 Put a squid in it. We're here.
发现问题所在了 Oy, there's the problem.
小Jackie的头骨把这玩意卡住了 Jackie Jr.'s skull is blocking the doodad.
好哇 没事了 Hooray! Everything's fine!
有什么东西过来了 Something's coming!
原来是一只栗鼠 Oh, it's just a chinchilla.
好可爱的小... What a cute little...
救命 我被卡住了 Help! I'm stuck!
不要惊慌 我们会没事的 Don't panic--we'll be okay.
另议 Addendum.
怪物是不会知道飞船有地下室的 The monster won't even know the ship has a basement.
除非你把消息发到Facebook上 Unless you posted it on Facebook.
就像上次我告诉你的秘密 Like the last secret I told you.
我不知道那是个秘密 I didn't know that was a secret.
护裆: 男运动员配戴的拳击护具
很多人都把护裆当成丁字裤来穿的 Lots of people wear a jockstrap thinking it's a thong.
那是什么? What was that?
Amy 快跑 Amy, run!
用不着你指示我 Quit telling me what to do.
现在能跑了吗? Now will you run?
好的 Okay.
快想点办法 Fry Do something, Fry!
不要这样 Not that.
别死了 来修我的陀螺仪 Stop dying and fix my gyroscope.
我都不知道陀螺仪是个啥 I don't even know what a gyroscope is.
等等 我有主意了 Wait, I have an idea.
你在干什么? Hey, what are you doing?
停下来 Cut that out.
你让我得到控制了 Hey, you got me under control.
Fry加Bender 战无不胜之组 Fry and Bender--a winning combination.
我们叫自己Frender吧 Let's call ourselves Frender.
Frender Frender Frender Frender, Frender, Frender
Frender... Frender...
我拿到方向盘了 I got the steering wheel.
Leela加Amy 战无不胜之组 Leela and amy--a winning combination.
Lamey Yay, Lamey!
怪物 The creature!
它在攻击我 It's attacking me!
这是Hermberg的任务 This is a job for Hermberg.
你用脚踢和放屁挡开怪物 You fend off the creature with kicks and farts
我用滑溜溜的墨汁帮你挣脱出来 While I unstick you with my slippery ink.
Hermes? Hermes?
我们还以为你是那怪物呢 We thought you were the creature.
我们还以为你们是那怪物呢 And we thought you were the creature.
我们也成功了 We made it, too.
但我的陀螺仪永久的损毁了 But my gyroscope's permanently busted--
我想只能在眩晕和不协调中度过我的余... I guess I'll be dizzy and uncoordinated for the rest of my...
好耶 修好了 Yeah, it's fixed!
我又可以保持协调了 宝贝 My coordination's back, baby.
我可以驾驶飞船了 我们这就回家 I've got navigation. We're on our way home.
这件事说明只要大家齐心协力 一切皆有可能 It just shows how everything is possible when you work together.
说起这个 我有一个惊喜要宣布 Speaking of which, I have a surprise announcement.
其实怪物并不存在 There never was a creature.
惊喜 Surprise.
整个历险过程只是一个训练课程 The whole adventure was just a training exercise
告诉你们团队合作的价值 To teach you the value of teamwork.
我应该抓狂才是 但课程很有效果 Huh, I should be mad, but it worked pretty well.
你真的非常勇敢 Leela You were really brave, Leela.
你的一记高尔夫完美击中了那东西 And you seriously nailed that thing with your golf shot.
Fry 你在外面救了我的命 (屁股) Fry, you saved my ass out there.
我是不会让那样闪亮的东西受到任何伤害的 Aw, I couldn't let anything happen to something that shiny.
Zoidberg医生 是你的机智... And, Dr. Zoidberg, it was your quick thinking...
没错 Uh, yup.
不好啦 各位 Bad news, everyone.
这怪物会变形 The creature is a shape-shifter.
它击晕我 然后变成我的样子 It knocked me out and took my form
趁机吃掉了可怜的Hermes So it could prey on poor Hermes.
我才不上当呢 I weren't fooled.
教授的真身才不会... The real professor wun't never've...
靠 Dern.
不好啦 各位 Bad news, everyone.
这怪物会变形 The creature is a shape-shifter.
它击晕我 然后变成我的样子 It knocked me out and took my form
趁机吃掉了可怜的Hermes和Scruffy So it could prey on poor Hermes and Scruffy.
真能掰啊 老兄 Nice try, buddy.
这回我们可不信了 We're not buying it this time.
可... 可我才是真教授啊 But-but I'm the real professor.
我可以证明 I can prove it.
你们尽量靠过来看我这个显微镜 If you'll step up real close to my microscope here,
我能证明我的DNA是完全... I'll show you that my DNA is completely...
外面安全了吗? Is it safe to come...
是时候动用老法子来解决这麻烦了 It's time we solved this problem the old-fashioned way.
射死它没商量 By shooting it.
等下 等下 等下 你不能每个人都配枪 Wait, wait, wait, wait, you can't give everybody guns.
万一怪物就在咱们中间呢? What if one of us is the creature?
任何一个都有可能 It could be any of us.
Fry Fry.
Leela Leela.
Amy Amy.
Zoidberg... Zoidberg...
Zoidberg Zoidberg.
咱俩之中肯定有一个是怪物 One of us must be the bad creature.
难不成是我? Is it me maybe?
快 躲进来 Quick, in here.
能彼此信任的只剩下我们俩了 We're the only ones left who can trust each other.
我太了解你了 不管它变得有多像你 I know you well enough that no creature could ever fool me.
怪物什么的是骗不过我的 No matter how much it looked like you.
Leela 我很荣幸 但为了你自身安全 Leela, I'm honored, but for your own safety,
你谁也别信 连我也别信 You shouldn't trust anyone, not even me.
但 人家好怕怕嘛 But I'm just so scared.
亲亲我 Kiss me.
轻点 轻点 你咬到我嘴唇啦 Easy, easy, you're biting my lip.
不好意思 Sorry.
等一下 我知道是什么状况了 Wait a second, I know what's going on here.
我才是怪物 I'm the monster.
怪物刚才在追我 The creature was right behind me.
不知道它现在跑哪儿去了 I don't know where it went.
甭理我 just leave me alone.
我现在好没安全感 I'm really, really scared.
Bender Uh, Bender?
干嘛? What?
你哪来的两只耳朵? Where'd you get those ears?
老子一直都有耳朵好吧 I've always had ears.
不对 你没耳朵的 No, you haven't.
好吧 算你聪明 那么多细节我怎么顾得过来 All right, fine, you got me. I can't keep track of every little detail.
这样 为了证明你是真Bender Okay, to see if you're the real Bender,
我要问你一些只有他本人知道的问题 I'm gonna ask you something only he would know.
你去年生日 我送什么礼物给你? On your last birthday, what gift did I get you?
我不记得了 I don't remember.
我也不记得 Me neither.
好啦 该我问你啦 Okay, I'll ask you one.
2345.4的平方根是多少? What's the square root of 2,345.4?
这种东西我怎么可能知道 That's not something I would know.
哦也对 该你啦 Oh, yeah. Your turn.
我的T恤是什么颜色的? Um, what color is my shirt?
如果我是怪物的话 直接看不就行了 笨笨 If I were the creature, I could just look at your shirt, dum-dum.
也对喔 Good point.
行啦 别折腾啦 Aw, never mind this.
万一我被吃掉的话 In case I'm about to die,
我想要你知道 我的确用过你的牙刷擦屁股 I just want you to know that I did polish my ass with your toothbrush.
多谢你的诚实 兄弟 Thanks for telling me, buddy.
不过说实话 我的确很嫉妒你闪亮的屁屁 And to be honest, I am jealous of how shiny your ass is,
晚上有时候 我会用砂纸磨花它 And sometimes at night, I unpolish it with sandpaper.
我信任你的 Aw, I trust you.
我也信任你 I trust you, too.
恭喜两位 congratulations.
两位真正懂得了信任的力量 You two have really learned the power of trust.
离我们远点 你个死怪物 Get away from us, you monster.
安心啦 don't worry.
其实根本没有什么怪物 There isn't really a monster.
也没人真的被吃掉 And no one really got eaten.
这只是团队建设项目的活动之一啦 The whole thing was just part of our team-building experience.
你们两位做得很棒 And you two did terrific.
但... 但那个搭便车的是怎么回事? But-but what about that hitchhiker?
你是问我的搭档Blorgulax吧? You mean my partner, Blorgulax?
他演搭车人真是入木三分呢 He does make a convincing hitchhiker.
但他其实是普林斯顿大学专修贸易的 But he majored in business at Princeton.
可我们看见他变形了 But we saw him change shape.
对 他的确是变形种 Yes, he is a shape-shifter.
但他仅把能力用于团队建设 不干坏事的 But he uses his shape-shifting for team-building, not evil.
他假装吃人 其他人就会变得团结 He pretends to eat some people. The others have to work together.
我们再发几个环保袋当奖品 We hand out a few tote bags.
马上 生产力至少上去四个百分点 And boom-- four percent increase in productivity minimum.
那么说没人死掉咯? So no one's dead?
当然没有啦 Of course not!
你们的朋友都在舰桥那儿开披萨派对呢 All your friends are on the bridge having a pizza party.
快点儿 放下枪 我们一块过去 So come on, put the guns down and join us.
好像还在动 I think it moved.
嘿 你俩 还来不来参加派对的? Hey, guys. Are you coming to the party or not?
Mcmasters他人呢? Where's Mcmasters?
结果这小伙还挺不错的 是吧? He turned out to be such a nice guy, didn't he?
没错 咱们每年都该搞搞这种研修活动 Totally. We should go on a retreat like this every year.
每年都搞 Every year.
下一条消息 著名企业顾问 In other news, celebrated business consultant
Dan Mcmasters已失踪两周 Dan mcmasters was last seen two weeks ago
有关部门声称失踪人已被害 And authorities are now calling his disappearance a homicide.
事情的真相咱们可谁都不能说啊 We can't ever tell anyone what really happened.
绝对不说 Never ever.
你是信得过的 对吧 I can trust you, right?
绝绝对对烂在肚子里头 100% till the end of time.
那我能信任你吗? Can I trust you?
即使我真有嘴 也会把得严严实实的 My lips couldn't be more sealed even if I had lips.
警方暂无线索 Police have no leads,
但悬赏了一百万美刀 But are offering a $1 million reward
奖励可将凶手缉拿归案的信息来源 For information leading to the arrest of the killer.
考虑到可能双人团伙作案 In the event there are two killers,
警方的应对政策也非常特别 Police are offering an unusual deal.
先供出对方的凶手可获得完全豁免 Total immunity for the one who turns in the other
并将奖金数目翻倍至两百万 Plus a double reward of $2 million.
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