哦 天呐... Oh, my God...
天上挂着两道彩虹! it's full-on double rainbow all the way across the sky!
喔! Whoa!
哦 天呐! 哦 上帝! Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
哦! 哦 我的天! Oh! Oh, my God!
喔! Whoo!
这是什么意思? What does this mean?
太亮了 It's so bright.
哦 天呐 栩栩如生 Oh, my God, it's so bright and vivid.
看起来像是三道彩虹了 It's starting to look like a triple rainbow.
哦! Oh!
直接穿过网球场! Going streaking across the quad!
冒牌家庭
咯嘀 咯嘀 咯嘀! Coochie, coochie, coochie!
是 不是 我知道 呃 Yeah. No, I know. Uh-huh.
不 没有 我没有 不是 我在听 No, I'm not. I'm not. No, I'm paying attention.
妈 我在听 你说吧 Mom, I'm listening. Just talk.
- 泰伦 - 你过不过万圣节? - Tyrone. - Are you going trick-or-treating?
- 不过 因为... - 噗! - No, because... - Pow!
维特: 能借我点钱不? 到时候还你
爽翻到阿拉斯加(一种极品大麻)
爽爆了(一种极品大麻)
弗农: 老地方见
蒂姆: 有货没?
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-=圣城家园SCG字幕组 http://hd.cnscg.com/=- 协调: 景鲤 翻译: sharefans_笨 初见 yjk8654 感冒吃多了药的小贝 校对: 有个饭团 Mabb
我已经在车里了 真的 I'm in the car. I'm literally in the car.
戴维 嘿 戴维·克拉克 David, hey. David Clark.
是我 里克·纳森 Rick Nathanson.
- 呃 抱歉 - 小里 我们是大学同学 - Uh, I'm sorry. - Little Ricky. We went to college together.
哦 该死 嘿 兄弟 Oh, shit. Hey, dude.
我们有一次一起在戴夫·马修家嗑药 然后我想吻你来着 We all took ecstasy at Dave Matthews one time and I tried to kiss you.
对了 我想起来了 对 That's right. I remember that. Yeah.
对 "留宿那次" Yeah. "Crash."
对 Yup.
哇 我差点没认出你来 你变化真大 Wow. I didn't recognize you. You look very different.
婚后难免发福嘛 I've gained a little bit of daddy weight.
你懂的 You know the drill.
其实我不懂 Actually, I don't, no.
- 不会吧 不可能! 还单身呢你 - 嗯 - No way. No way! Still a free agent. - Mm.
你个贱人! 走狗屎运的货 You son of a bitch! You lucky son of a bitch.
你特么的太走运了 哇 不错不错 You lucky, lucky son of a bitch. Wow, that's amazing. Wow.
给 怀念下我们过去的美好时光 好吧? Here. For old times' sake, huh?
减轻点当爸爸的压力 For daddy stress.
你还卖大麻呢? You're still dealing weed?
丹佛销售之星 Best in Denver.
太他妈棒了 天呐 That's fucking awesome. Oh, my God.
真是不错 That is so cool.
- 你还在做这个 - 是啊 - You're still at it. - Yeah.
- 我嫉妒你 伙计 真的 - 哈 - I envy you, man. I do. - Ah.
看看你 没老婆 没孩子 Look at you. No wife, no kids.
- 一人吃饱全家不饿 - 嗯 - No responsibilities. - Mm-hm.
噗 什么都没有 你什么都没有 Pfft, nothing. You got nothing.
你就算明天就消失了也没人知道 You could disappear tomorrow and who'd even know?
- 哦 千金不换 - 是啊 - Oh, what I wouldn't give. - Yeah.
嘿 我不是那个意思 我想说... Oh, hey, I didn't mean that in like, I mean...
没事 没关系 我不在乎 没事的 No. It's all right. It doesn't bother me. It's all right.
- 见到你真高兴 - 我也是 - Great seeing you. - Great seeing you.
好了 伙计 加油干 Okay, bud, I believe in you.
- 戴维? - 怎么了? - Hey, David? - Yeah?
- 加我脸书 哪天一起出去爽一下 - 算了吧 - Facebook me. We'll get weird. - I don't think so.
- 哈哈! 别装了 - 祝你全家幸福美满 - Ha, ha! Get out of here. - Good luck with the family.
哦 该死 该死 嘿 好消息 Oh, fuck. Fuck me. Fuck. Hey, great news.
今晚我们要嗨翻了 We're gonna get high and fuck tonight.
抱歉 宝贝 让妈妈接电话 好吗? I'm sorry, honey. Put mommy on the phone, okay?
# 我要... 脱掉裙子 脱掉靴子 脱掉戒指 全部脱掉 # # I'm... a take my skin', boot, rings All off #
# 裙子 靴子 戒指 全部脱掉 # # Skirt, boots, rings All off #
# 哦 宝贝 你真是坏 坏得让我疯狂 # # Ooh, baby, you so bad, boy drive me mad, boy #
# 你不管他们怎样说我 # # You don't care what they say about me #
# 女人是祸水 女人是祸水 # # Girl is a problem Girl is a problem, problem #
哇 Wow.
- 你跳得真棒 - 谢谢 - You dance super good. - Thanks.
我叫金柏莉 茉莉的莉 I'm Kymberly. With a Y.
我叫萝丝 萝卜的萝 I'm Rose. With an R.
这是你的艺名吗? Is that your stage name?
- 我的什么? - 你的艺名 - My what? - Your stage name.
为了防止被变态们盯上 你或许应该起一个 To protect yourself from the creeps out there. You should pick one.
简单性感可爱又好记的 You know, something simple but sexy and cute and short, maybe.
- 你有外号吗? - 有! - Do you have a nickname? - Totally!
好的 就用那个 因为... Great. Use that, because...
我还把外号纹在身上了呢 你要看吗? I even got a tattoo of it. Do you wanna see?
呃 哦 不... Uh, well, n...
看看 Check it out.
"勃起终结者" 哦 喔 "Boner Garage." Oh, whoa.
还带着个小箭头 You got a little arrow there even.
是不是超级性感? Is that not like the hottest?
勃起终结者 该你上场了 Boner Garage, you're up.
看看 新来的就是有活力 不过过不了多久就会消磨殆尽 Oh, look at that. So excited and full of life. That'll fade.
嘿 萝丝 我知道"按理说"这是你的休息时间 不过我需要一个跳大腿舞的 五号桌 Hey, Rose. I know you're "technically" on break, but I need a lap dance. Table five.
别离太近了 那家伙手很贱 Just don't get too close. The guy has two hook hands.
怎么又放这种人进来了? How did we let that guy back in here?
肯定是偷偷溜进来的 哈哈! Must have picked the locks. Ha, ha!
今晚工作还顺利吧? How was work this evening?
关你什么事? What do you care?
我只是问问 I'm just asking.
还是别问的好 Oh, just don't.
好吧 你那个脑残男友在吗? Fine. Well, is your dummy boyfriend around?
没有 吉米去他爸妈家了 怎么了? No. Jimmy's with his parents. Why?
哦 因为吉米还欠我400块 所以... Well, because Jimmy still owes me 400 bucks, so...
看来你不应该赊账卖毒品 Maybe you shouldn't loan drugs to people.
- 好的 好建议 - 嗯 - All right. Good tip. - Mm-hm.
我在想也许你可以帮帮他 替他还钱 I was thinking is that maybe you could help him out, settle his debt.
- 想都别他妈想 - 帮我个大忙吧 好邻居 - Not a fucking chance. - You'd be doing me a solid, neighbor.
哦 是吗? 邻居? 你才不是我邻居 Oh, really? Neighbor? You're not a neighbor.
你是个毒贩子 家里的味道闻着像奶酪和脚臭的混合体 You're a drug dealer whose apartment smells like cheese and feet.
嗯 是 那是我从安苏玻璃阁买的香薰蜡烛 Mm. Yeah, it's a candle I got from Anthropologie.
奶酪脚 他们都这么叫 是最畅销的 Cheesy Feet. That's what they call it. It's a bestseller.
哦 萝丝 我这有你一封信 Oh, Rose, got a piece of your mail here.
本来我还可以借你点钱的 可惜我们不是邻居 I'd lend you some money, but we're not neighbors.
你真是个混蛋! Oh, you're such a dick!
孤独到死吧 贱人 Have fun dying alone, jerk.
祝你用黑木耳找到另一半 Have fun digging out the singles from your crotch.
我的黑木耳只要30岁以下的 戴维 My crotch only takes 20s, David.
嘿 戴维 Hey, David.
- 嗨 肯尼 - 我听到你和奥莱利夫人吵架 - Hi, Kenny. - I heard you and Mrs. O'Reilly fighting.
这叫调情 肯尼 等你上了大学就懂了 It's called flirting, Kenny. You'll learn about it in college.
怎么这么晚了还不睡? 都快2点了 你妈妈去哪了? What are you doing up? It's almost 2. Where's your mom?
- 呃 她跟朋友去喝酒了 - 什么时候? - Uh, she went for a drink. With a friend. - When?
上周 Last week.
呃 所以家里只有我一个人 Uh, so I got the whole place to myself.
玩了一周末的游戏 Yeah. Rolling Han Solo for the weekend.
嗯 Mm-hm.
呃 说到玩 我在想能不能... Um, speaking of rolling, I was wondering if...
- 我不卖给小孩 肯尼 - 我18岁了 我很快就要自己住了 - I don't sell to kids, Kenny. - I'm 18. I'm gonna get my own place soon.
不是小孩了 戴维 Not a kid, David.
是的 你是的 保重 Yeah, you are. Take care.
你们他妈的把我的手机给我 Give me my fucking phone.
- 你们真是些混蛋 - 嘿 宝贝 - You guys are such assholes. - Hey, baby.
别欺负她 Leave her alone.
- 哦 抱歉 宝贝 - 放开她 - Oh, I'm sorry, baby. - Unhand her.
嘿 离她远点 Hey, leave her alone.
该死 肯尼 Goddamn it, Kenny.
- 让你他妈的逞英雄? - 你没必要... - Fucking tough guy Huh? - You don't have to...
嘿! 嘿 嘿 嘿 Hey! Hey, hey, hey.
别生气 别生气 怎么了? Easy, easy. What's going on here?
- 别管闲事 老家伙 - 哦 天呐 你是个小伙子 哈哈! - Mind your fucking business, old man. - Oh, my God. You're a dude. Ha, ha!
吓到我了 你的声音比你的身材吓人多了 That scared me. Your voice was so much deeper than your bone structure.
这些混蛋要偷我的iPhone These assholes are trying to steal my iPhone.
你还有iPhone? 你不是流浪女吗? You have an iPhone? Aren't you homeless?
那又怎么样? 你妈的 该死 So? Fuck you, dude.
好了 挺有意思 你们继续 Okay, this was fun. Carry on.
- 走啊 我们走 - 什么? 不行 - Come on, let's go. - What? No.
这些人在欺负她 这可不公平 These guys are picking on her and it's not fair.
你想怎样 小朋友? 你要英雄救美啊? What you gonna do, white boy? You some type of hero?
不是英雄 他只是个傻孩子 Not a hero. He's a dumb kid.
我有个主意 别管这女孩了 直接走开吧 哈 你们说呢? I got an idea. Leave the girl alone. Just move along. Huh, what do you say?
- "直接走开"? - 是 - "Move along"? - Yeah.
- 你是什么人 条子? - 他不是条子 他其实很厉害 - What are you, some kind of cop? - He's not a cop. He's actually really cool.
- 谢谢 - 他是个毒贩 - Thanks. - He's a drug dealer.
- 什么? - 多嘴 肯尼 - Really? - Goddamn it, Kenny.
把你的背包给我 Give me your backpack.
我不想打架 I don't wanna fight.
没有架可打 这样 要么你把背包给我... Well, there's not gonna be a fight. See, you either give me the backpack...
要么我抹了你的脖子自己拿 or I'm gonna stab you in the neck and take it.
真是苏菲的选择啊? 好吧 It's a real Sophie's choice here, huh? All right.
好吧 给你们背包 Okay, backpack it is.
如果你要... If you wa...
快跑 肯尼! Run, Kenny!
你死定了! You're dead meat!
嘿 抱歉 我手机丢了 今晚我们还要出去吗? Hey, sorry, I dropped my phone. Are we still going out tonight or what?
该死! 妈的! Fucking shit! Shit!
哦 该死 Oh, shit.
抱歉 这太傻了 Sorry. This is fucking dumb.
啊哦 混蛋 Whoa-ho-ho, motherfucker.
- 抓到你了 - 呃! - We got you now. - Unh!
- 再看看盒子里 - 看啊 - Do whatever's in the safe too. - Look at that.
那不是我的钱 你们拿走我老板会杀了我的 It's not even my money. If you take that my boss will kill me.
你没事吧 戴维? 我可以帮你 我可以报警 You okay, David? I can help. I'll call the cops.
别报警 我没事 No, I'm okay.
丹佛第一蛋饼店
布莱德·嘉德林格来电
嘿! Hey!
喔 他妈的...! 呃! Whoa, what the...! Unh!
布莱德打电话的时候 你要接! 进去! When Mr. Brad calls, you answer! Get in there!
别告诉我要去哪里 我喜欢惊喜 Please don't tell me where we're going. I love surprises.
- 好的 可以 - 我可以帮你吗? - All right. Okay. - Can I help you?
嗨 你订的两个黑鬼送到了 Hi. You ordered two black guys.
哦 好吧 是这家伙 Oh. Okay. This guy.
不是 是戴维·克拉克来见嘉德林格先生 麻烦你通报一下? No. David Clark here to see Mr. Gurdlinger, please?
我会告诉他你来了 需要喝些什么? I'll tell him you're here. Can I get you something?
咖啡 茶 弗雷斯卡 Coffee. Tea. Fresca.
嗯 Hmm.
来罐弗雷斯卡吧 You know what, a Fresca sounds really good.
- 没问题 - 谢谢 - You got it. - Appreciate it.
稍等 你们要不要喝点什么? 我请客 Hold on one second. You guys want anything? It's on me.
补充电解质 Replenishes electrolytes.
免得你俩一会互相撸的时候腿抽筋 Don't want you cramping up when you jerk each other off.
很高兴见到你 Nice meeting you.
轻点 Easy.
轻点 嗷! Easy. Oof!
好吧 如果你们不介意 我想在这儿逛一逛 Okay. I'm gonna hang out here if that's all right.
哦 谢谢 这很有帮助 Oh, thank you for that. That's very helpful.
哦! 戴维·克拉克 Oh! David Clark.
你还真不好找 别因为站在塑料布上就紧张 You're a hard man to find. Take it easy on the plastic.
喔 布莱德 这是他妈什么情况? Whoa, Brad, what the fuck is this?
是这样的老兄 我本来要给你打回去的 别杀我 Look, man, I was gonna call you back. Do not kill me.
- 我被抢了 好吧 我发誓 - 喔 喔 喔 - I got robbed, okay. I swear. - Whoa, whoa, whoa.
你怎么...? 什么...? What are you...? What...?
哦 你说塑料布? Oh, the plastic?
是啊 你都用塑料布了 Yeah, the plastic.
我也看过"嗜血判官" I've seen Dexter.
伙计 我只是装了个新的天窗 你个傻货 哈哈 Buddy, I'm putting in a new skylight, you idiot. Ha, ha.
你真该照照镜子 你都吓傻了 You should have seen your face just now. You shit a brick.
我还能怎么想 伙计? Well, what am I supposed to think, man?
你让这些家伙们蒙上我的脸 行了 You've got these thugs throwing a bag over my head. Come on.
我很抱歉 我没想吓你 I'm sorry about that. I didn't mean to freak you out.
- 没事 - 不过你知道我杀过人的对吧? - It's fine. - You do know I've killed people though?
是的 布莱德 我知道 Yeah, Brad, I know.
哈... 哈 好了 坐下 Ha... ha. All right, have a seat.
喔 这是他妈什么? Whoa, what the fuck is that?
什么? 哦 我的虎鲸? 嗯 我买了一条虎鲸 What? Oh, my orca? Yeah, I bought an orca.
我赚的钱很多 I make a lot of money.
那你就买了条鲸鱼? So you bought a whale?
是啊 我不喜欢跑车 Well, I don't like sports cars.
- 嗯 是 - 那么我的钱哪去了 戴维? - Yeah, yeah. - So where's my money, David?
行行好 伙计 我们认识这么久了 Come on, man. We go back.
我们确实认识很久了 但这不是上大学的时候 We do go back. But it's not college anymore.
我们也不是在宿舍倒卖大麻的小贩了 We're not selling lids out of my dorm room.
话说回来 你还欠我4万3 And you owe me $43,000.
我告诉你了 我被抢了 布莱德 他们抢了我的全部财产 伙计 I told you, I got robbed, Brad. They took everything I had, man.
这一周的货款 还有我存的2万2 我完蛋了 This week's drop, 22 grand of my money that I'd saved. I'm fucked.
听着 这确实是个糟糕的局面 不过我也许能让我们双赢 Listen, this is a fucked-up situation. But I might have a win-win for both of us.
- 好啊 - 我从墨西哥订购了一点... - Great. - I have a smidge of very choice...
上等的大麻... mari-ju-ana down in Mexico...
而我需要在周日晚上运过来 and I need it here by Sunday night.
给我运货的人被枪杀了 My regular courier is out because he got gunned down.
所以叫你来 That's where you come in.
你可以当我的骡子 我需要一个可以信任的人来运货 You could be my mule. I need someone I can trust.
去趟墨西哥 周日晚上把货运回来 我不仅会一笔勾销你欠我的债务... Go to Mexico, bring it back by Sunday night, not only will I forgive your debt...
还会付给你一份10万的运费 I will pay you a standard courier fee of $100,000.
你要给我10万 就为了运一点货过境? You're gonna give me 100 grand to move a smidge across the border?
比一点点多了那么一点吧 没多少 Smidge and a half. It's nothing.
兄弟 我只是个小角色而已 Dude, I got rolled by the fucking cast of Annie.
我一进来你要我当跨国毒枭 I come walking in here and you ask me to be an international drug dealer.
这钱唾手可得 戴维 你所要做的就是飞去墨西哥... This is easy money, David. All you gotta do is pop down to Mexico...
找到这个地址 告诉他们你是来取巴勃罗·察孔的货的 go to this address, tell them you're there to pick up for Pablo Chacon.
- 谁他妈是巴勃罗·察孔? - 我 - Who the fuck is Pablo Chacon? - I am.
叫布莱德·嘉德林格的话 墨西哥人才不会正眼看你 明白吗? You don't get respect from Mexicans when your name is Brad Gurdlinger, right?
我是说 那一听就是个白人的名字 看 大坏蛋布莱德的计划总是万无一失 I mean, that's white in any language. See? Big Bad Brad thought of everything.
不行 我不行 大哥 这对我来说难度太大了 I don't know. I don't think so, man. This is way out of my league.
万一被抓住 可是触犯联邦法律的 If something goes wrong, it's a federal crime.
如果我被逮到试图带一磅毒品过境 差不多 嗯... If I got pinched at the border, trying to cross over with more than a pound, you're talking like, um...
会被判在墨西哥监狱服刑二十五年 还是在法官心情好的情况下 Twenty-five years in Mexican prison. If you get a happy judge.
是啊 天呐 是很冒险 Yeah. Jeez. Not good.
- 不过 你忘掉了一件事 - 什么? - Although, you're forgetting one thing. - What?
你他妈根本没得选 You don't have a fucking choice.
那么你现在就是要成为一个更大的毒贩了? So now you're gonna become an even bigger drug dealer?
只运毒 肯尼 不一样的 Drug smuggler, Kenny. There's a difference.
你过境的时候是有可能被检查的 You're probably gonna get searched at the border.
不是我说 你看起来真的像个毒贩 No offense, you look like a total drug dealer.
- 没错 谢谢 伙计 - 你可以化化装 - No shit. Thanks, dude. - You could wear a disguise.
- 什么? - 化装 - What? - A disguise.
我就知道你说的是这个 化装 That's what I thought. A disguise.
我化装成什么? 最近流行的万圣节装扮是什么? So what should I dress up? Like a... I don't know. What's the hot Halloween outfit these days?
像蝙蝠侠里的贝恩那样的? 脸上带个什么东西? Bane from Batman? Someone like that? Wear something over my face?
我这里没有毒品 你们不需要担心 There's no drugs in here. You've got nothing to worry about.
好主意 Great idea.
不好意思 嗨 Hey, pardon me. Hi.
抱歉打扰你们 我们一家想去动物园 可是我找不到方向了 Hate to bug you, but I'm trying to get the fam to the zoo and I'm lost as all heck.
滚蛋 弗兰德斯真人版 Fuck off, real-life Flanders.
是我的错 一看地图 我就傻了 It's my fault. When it comes to reading maps, I sure can be an old flibbertigibbet.
嘿 先生 这里不能停车 Hey. No parking here, sir.
活该被罚 傻逼游客 Perfect. Fucking tourists.
哦 天呐 我非常抱歉 警官 Oh, jeez. I'm awful sorry, officer.
我不知道该走哪条路了 I don't know which way is up around here.
没关系 我们的城市有时候确实容易迷路 No problem. Our city can get confusing sometimes.
正在找去动物园的路 Trying to find our way to the zoo.
直走两个街区之后 左转 再过两个街区... It's two blocks up that way, take a left, two blocks...
真他妈的 Holy fucking shit.
谢谢 混蛋们 Thank you, dickheads.
# 嘿小妞 别着急下结论 # # Hey little lady, don't you say maybe #
萝丝 吧台那个家伙点名找你 Rose, the guy at the bar asked for you by name.
对他温柔点 Treat him nice.
# 宝贝 我要让你看看 # # Baby, I'ma show you how to #
爽! Yeah!
嗨 我是萝丝 Hi. I'm Rose.
- 嗨 嗨 - 什么...? 哦 不行 - Hi. Hi. - What...? Oh, please. No.
- 别走 萝丝 嘿 萝丝 萝丝 - 不 不行 不 不 - No, Rose. Hey, Rose, Rose. - No, no, no, no.
- 求你 听我说 - 停 停 停 停 - Please. Listen to me. - Duh, duh, duh, duh.
打住 打住 Ch-ch-ch-chuh.
你个混蛋 You asshole.
别担心 我不需要你脱光什么的 Don't worry. You don't have to get naked and all that stuff.
- 除非你想脱 其实 嗷! - 嗯 - Unless you want to, you know. Oof! - Mm-hm.
- 操 - 你要干什么? - Fuck. - What do you want?
你愿不愿意用国庆节的周末赚1万块? How would you like to spend 4th of July weekend making 10 grand?
- 什么? - 萝丝 听我说 - What? - Rose, listen.
我只需要你陪我去一趟墨西哥 All I'm asking is that you go to Mexico with me.
好吧? 然后我们一起开着房车回来 All right? And then we drive home together in an RV.
嗯 Mm-hm.
- 不过那辆房车里边有点货 - 贩毒? - And that RV has some pot in it. - Drug dealing?
不 不是贩毒 不是 不是 是运毒 No, it's not drug dealing. It's not. No, it's smuggling.
- 你疯了? - 萝丝 听我说 - Are you out of your mind? - Rose, listen to me.
是这样 我自己过境 太扎眼 很招人注意 对吧? Now, me crossing the border by myself, huge red flag. Huge, all right?
不过要是一家子的话 他们就不会在意了 But families, they don't get a second look.
萝丝 我需要你演我老婆 So, Rose, I need you to be my wife.
这可是我听说过最蠢的事了 That is the dumbest thing I've ever heard.
你看 萝丝 1万块 而且机票钱不用你掏 Look, Rose, 10,000 bucks, and your flight's already paid for.
你不能拿钱买我 You can't buy me.
我不是买你 好吧? 我是租你 I'm not buying you, all right? I'm renting you.
嗯 Hmm.
像"风月俏佳人"里那样 Like Pretty Woman.
"风月俏佳人"? 她是个妓女 Pretty Woman? She was a prostitute.
而且我也不信任你 And I don't trust you.
- 她怎么说? - 你他妈觉得呢? 她不干 - What did she say? - What the fuck do you think? She said no.
好吧 估计那就剩咱俩了 那么 就是墨西哥父子游 Cool. So I guess it's just us, then. A little father and son bonding trip to Mexico.
你逗我吧? 咱俩男的开车走? 像不像搞基奥运会? Are you kidding? You and me alone in a van? It'll look like the pervert Olympics.
不行 绝对不行 不行 我们需要个女的 No way. Absolutely not. No, we need a girl.
除非你能想到某个人跟我们明天出发 不然我就完蛋了 And unless you can think of someone that can leave town tomorrow, I'm fucked.
我认识个女的 I know a girl.
我不明白 有我什么好处? I don't get it. What's in it for me?
我觉得有住处 有热饭 已经挺好的了 I'm thinking a roof over your head, some actual hot food. That'd be good enough.
我要一千块 I'm thinking 1000.
一千就一千 不过就这么多了 Fine, 1000 bucks, but that's it.
好的 而且如果我们被抓了我就说是你贩毒而且还绑架了我 好吧? Great. And if we get caught I'll say you drugged and kidnapped me. Cool?
行 成交 不过就这些了 Yeah, it's cool. Yeah, that's fine. But that's it.
肯尼 来认识一下你的新妹妹 Kenny, meet your new sister.
太好了 我一直想要个妹妹 This is great. I've always wanted a sister.
- 放开我 放开! 放手! - 嘿 行了 放开 - Get it off me. Get it off! Get off! - Hey, come on. Let go.
- 行了 要给你换个造型 - 你有完没完? - Come on. We gotta clean you up. - What's wrong with you?
- 别这么说话 - 我并没想让她不舒服 - Don't say that. - I didn't mean to make her uncomfortable.
# 狂野的孩子 # # Wild child #
勃起终结者! Boner Garage!
# 全面突破 # # Going all out Going for broke #
哦 太好了 萝丝 还好碰到你了 Oh, great. Rose, I'm glad I caught you.
我要给你宣布几项... I wanted to go over a couple of minor policy changes...
- 俱乐部制度的新变化 - 例如? - that we have here at the club. - Like what?
例如 要你开始向客户卖身 Like, I want you to start having sex with the customers for money.
什么? 那是违法的 托德 What? That's totally illegal, Todd.
行了 那你还能做什么? Come on, what are you gonna do?
我要跟街对面的那些婊子们竞争 I gotta stay competitive with those fuckers who opened up across the street.
你是说苹果专卖店么? You mean the Apple Store?
是 他们快把我们搅黄了 Yeah, and they're killing us.
哦 天呐 Oh, God.
那好吧 我不行 我不干了 That's it. I can't do it. I quit.
你听到那个好消息了吗? Did you hear the good news?
现在我们可以卖身赚钱了 Now we get to fuck the customers for money.
- 什么...? - 勃起终结者喜欢这个 - Wha...? - Boner Garage loves it.
我不行 我不干了 不干了 I'm out of here. I am out of here. I quit.
驱逐通知
该死 Fuck.
凯茜 我觉得你换个发型比较好 So, Casey, I guess it's nice for you to get your hair cut.
作为无家可归的... Being homeless and all...
我不是无家可归的 混蛋 我有家 只是我父母的原因才离家出走... I'm not homeless, fucktard. I have a home. But I left because my parent...
闭嘴 好吗? 拜托了 我不想听你痛诉悲惨身世 Shut up, okay? Please. I don't need to hear your hard-luck backstory right now.
我八个月之前租的"珍爱"到现在还没看呢 I rented Precious on Netflix eight months ago and I still haven't watched the thing.
给你们 这样好吧? Here. You know what?
让我安静一会 你们自己去买些新衣服吧 Just give me a little peace and quiet and buy yourself some new clothes.
那种一看就是好孩子穿的衣服 不要这种垃圾 You know, the kind of stuff that loved children wear. Not this garbage.
好吗? 谢谢 All right? Thank you.
喔 喔 喔 等等 Whoa, whoa, whoa, stop.
你不需要 你已经是朽木不可雕也 You're fine. You already like a total dipshit.
给 你需要多花一点 你看起来像是"8英里"里的艾米纳姆 Here. You're gonna need it. You look like Eminem from 8 Mile.
跟着她 别让她跑了 Go with her. Make sure she doesn't steal it.
而且别他妈去热门话题买 And stay the fuck out of Hot Topic.
戴维·克拉克吧? David Clark?
好的 要剪个什么发型? Okay, what are we doing today?
要我说 给我剪一个那种看起来像 Yeah, I say, give me something that says:
"我每天早晨5:30起床赶一个小时的路去上个糟糕的班... "I get up every morning at 5:30 and commute for an hour to a bullshit job...
老板整天盼着我俯首帖耳... where my boss expects me to kiss his balls all day...
这样才能供得起我那些不孝的孩子们 穿得像爱探险的朵拉一样... so I can afford to keep my ungrateful kids decked out in Dora the Explorer shit...
供起我老婆撅着大屁股在自助租碟机前找片... and my wife up to her fat ass in self-help videos...
直到某一天我忍不了了饮弹自尽" until the day I get the courage to put a shotgun in my mouth."
就我这样的 Right here.
对 就是那样 他那样的 Yeah. That's it. That's the one.
丹佛国际机场
好的 All right.
全身检查 Get a full body check.
抱歉 Sorry.
嗨 你们有什么需要的吗? Hi, you folks have everything you need?
哦 是啊! Oh, you betcha!
是 我们是家庭旅行 懂吧? 去探望奶奶 Yeah, we're heading out on a family vacay here, you know? Off to see grandma, huh?
真是幸福的一家子 Well, you have a lovely family.
哦 非常感谢 是 这是我儿子 肯尼·米勒 这个 Oh, thank you very much. Yeah, this is my son, Kenny Miller, right here.
- 还有我可爱的女儿... - 凯茜? - And my lovely daughter... - Casey?
凯茜 凯茜·米勒 对了 我叫戴维·米勒 Casey. Casey Miller, that's right. And I'm David Miller.
我们是米勒一家 We're the Millers.
你看 真够手忙脚乱的了 带着两个叛逆期的孩子 Yeah, now, you know, I got my hands full here. Couple of kooky teenagers.
是啊 我正在经历一些经常困扰未成年少女的事情 比如: Yeah, I'm going through all those typical teenage girl issues like:
期末考试和大学申请... Finals and college applications...
还要受邀参加舞会 and am I gonna get asked to prom.
而且 我已经两个月没来大姨妈了... Plus, I haven't gotten my period in two months...
真是奇怪因为我最近一直都是肛交的 which is really weird because I've mostly just been doing anal.
哈... 哈... 哈! 够了 Ha... ha... ha! Oh, that's enough.
哦 谢谢你的帮助"娜塔莉" Well, thank you for your help, "Natalie."
请坐好 Take your seats, please.
你他妈耍我呢? You fucking kidding me?
没事 我自己可以 就在这 谢谢 I'm good. I got it. Right over here. Thanks.
谢谢 借光 Thank you. Sorry.
- 亲爱的! 嗨! 你赶上了! - 嗯 滚蛋 - Honey! Hi! You made it! - Mm-hm. Eat a dick.
- 抱歉 抱歉 好吧 - 嗯 - Sorry, sorry. Okay. - Mm-mm.
- 喔 你的样子 像... - 闭嘴 别说 成吗? - Wow, you look really, like... - Don't. Just don't, all right?
嗨 妈 Hi, Mom.
- 天啊 - 嗯 - Jesus. - Mm-hm.
那个是? And who's that?
哦 那是你女儿 凯茜 Well, that's your daughter. Casey.
嘿 Hey.
嗯 Mm-hm.
我现在要3万 I want 30,000 now.
- 不行 - 好吧 一路平安 - No fucking way. - Okay. Have a safe flight.
什么? 不 好吧 好吧! 吸血鬼 What? No. Okay. Fine! Fine. Bloodsucker.
嗯 好了 老婆快乐 生活快乐 嗨 孩子们! Mm. All right, happy wife, happy life. Hi, kids!
- 给你们妈妈让个位置 - 好 - Make room for your mother. - Okay.
- 嘿! - 喔! 不 我不是...! - Hey! - Whoa! No, I didn't...!
你大爷的 你特么的干什么呢... What the fuck? Don't you ever think that you can ever...
家庭会议 走 去后边 快 Family meeting. Let's go. Get in the back. Go.
- 我不是故意的 - 我不在乎 - I didn't mean to. - I don't care.
- 他打到我的脸了 - 先过去好吗? 别让别人听到... - He just hit me in the fucking face. - Will you march? No one wants to hear...
怎么回事? 你们搞笑呢? What the fuck?! Are you kidding me?
哦 行了 蛋定 桃乐茜 上帝啊 Oh, come on, relax, Dorothy. Jesus.
我们还没到边境呢 谁管他们怎么想? We're not at the border. Who cares what they think?
至少不要引人注意吧 你个小流浪汉 It's about not drawing attention to ourselves, you little hobo.
嘿! 别这样跟她讲话 Hey! Don't talk to her like that.
萝丝 别生气 好吧? 你唯一要担心的是... Rose, relax, okay? The only thing you need to worry about...
让人们以为你是当妈的人 好吧? is making them think you could be someone's mother. Okay?
你别逗我了吧? 我闭着眼都能演得跟真的似的 Are you kidding me? I can do this shit in my sleep.
抱歉 Excuse me.
主啊 我们感谢您赐给我们这次家庭旅行 Lord, we thank thee for the blessing of this family vacation.
愿戴维能够受你的眷顾带我们安全回家 May David find his bliss and bring us home back safely.
愿肯尼和凯茜在我们的全心的投入下... May Kenny and Casey fortify their sibling bond...
兄妹之情越来越深 over the warm glow of our devoted hearts.
愿这架飞机上的每一位成员都过着安全... And may this entire airplane find safe passage...
富足的生活 and a bountiful life.
连犹太人也一样 Even the Jews.
- 阿门 - 说得真好 - Amen. - That was a good one.
太好了 That was beautiful.
- 哦 - 真希望我的家庭也像这样 - Oh. - I wish my family was more like that.
哦 别 别这样 Oh, stop. Don't.
不 不 不 来吧 过来 抱抱 别哭了 No, no, no. Come on. Come in here. Hug it out. Don't you cry.
哦 亲爱的 Aw, honey.
你妈的 Fuck you.
好些了吗? 嗯 All better now? Okay.
哦 别忘了你可以用锅巴给炖菜做点缀 Oh, and don't forget you can use Chex Mix as a surprise casserole topping.
口感增色不少 Adds that real special crunch.
- 喔 真是个好办法 - 那是! - Wow, what a great tip. - Sure!
再见 Bye-bye.
我勒个去 你哪来的演技? Holy shit, where did that come from?
我跟我的巴布姨妈在俄克拉荷马州一起呆过五个夏天 It's five summers with my Aunt Barb in Oklahoma.
太好了 That was amazing.
冷静点 没有那么棒 Calm down. It wasn't that great.
啊 该死 布莱德说房车应该在这等我们的 Ah, goddamn it. Brad said the RV was supposed to be out here waiting for us.
有人看见房车的话 告诉我 Anybody sees a camper, just let me know.
哇 Whoa.
这他妈是什么? What the fuck is this?
这玩意太豪华了 This thing is ridiculous.
- 你能开吗? - 不知道 - Can you drive this? - I don't know.
能开多快? How fast does it go?
房车使用手册
你看那玩意干什么? Why the hell are you reading that thing?
因为我喜欢 有意思 Because I like it. It's fun.
很实用 It's informative.
"有意思" 你觉得这就是有意思 是吗? "It's fun." That's your idea of fun, huh?
我有个关于90年代的录像机使用手册 你真该看看 I have a VCR manual from the '90s you should check out.
- 我估计你会喜欢的 - 烟花! - I think you'd probably enjoy that. - Fireworks!
哦 天啊 伙计们 快看! Oh, my God, guys, look!
烟花! 嘿 烟花! 停车! 那有烟花! Fireworks! Hey! Fireworks! Pull over! There's fireworks!
我们不能停车买烟花 We're not pulling over for fireworks.
- 哦 哦 二货 - 什么? 这是国庆节的周末 - Oh, Oh, stern. - What? It's Fourth of July weekend.
别那么讨人厌 停车! Don't be such a grumpy asshole. Pull over!
不 绝不 No. Absolutely not.
哦 行了 我也支持买烟花 Oh, come on, I vote fireworks too.
你看? 连这个屌丝都想要烟花 烟花! See? Even this loser wants fireworks. Fireworks!
- 烟花! 烟花! - 孩子们要看烟花 - Fireworks! Fireworks! - The kids wanna see fireworks.
烟花! 烟花! 烟花! Fireworks! Fireworks! Fireworks!
好了 够了! Okay, enough!
闭嘴! 咱们把话说明白点! Enough! Let's get something straight right now!
你们不是我的孩子! 好吧? You are not my kids! Okay?
你也不是我老婆! 我们不是一家子! You are not my wife! And we are not a family!
明白吗? 这是项工作! All right? This is a job!
我们不是和谐有爱的布雷迪家庭! We are not the Brady Bunch!
我是主公你们都是我的忠臣! I'm Marky Mark and y'all are the Funky Bunch!
- 什么? - 我是老大 听明白了吗? - The what? - I'm the boss. You hear me?
别再吵了! 不然 我就立刻掉头! So cut the shit! Otherwise, I will turn this RV around immediately!
然后我们直接回家 谁也拿不到大麻! And we will drive straight home. No drugs for anyone!
这个旅行糟透了 This vacation sucks.
你... You...
这不是旅行! It is not a vacation!
行了 你们满足了吧? 走 There we go. You fucking happy? Come on.
好了 大家不要乱动 明白吗? Here we go. Everybody just be cool. All right?
你们好! Hey there!
报告长官 这是米勒一家 准备享受假期 You got the Miller family here, reporting for leisure, sir.
我们要到墨西哥去... We're just heading down to México way to do a...
哦 好的 很好 非常好 好了 谢谢 保重 好的 Oh. Okay. Great. Fantastic. All right, thank you. Take care, now. All right.
喔! 你看到了吗? 我就说房车会有用! 都没人拦我们 Whoo! Did you see that? I told you this RV would work! We totally blend.
恭喜 你已经成功潜入墨西哥了 Congratulations. You just snuck into Mexico.
这是什么? What is this?
- 毒品实验室? - 这是墨西哥 凯茜 - A meth lab? - It's Mexico, Casey.
那是头驴子 驴子 驴子 That's a donkey, donkey, donkey.
- 这辆房车和周围环境真的很和谐 戴维 - 冷静点好吗? - This RV blends right in, David. - Will you calm down?
这家伙好大了 我是说 太大太豪华了 This thing is ginormous. I mean, it's ridiculous.
你已到达目的地 You have arrived at your destination.
导航现在结束 The route guidance is now finished.
你确定这些家伙是在等你吗? Are you sure these guys are expecting you?
萝丝 没事的 知道吗? Rose, we're good. All right?
你冷静点好吗? 这些是布莱德的人 没什么好担心的 Now will you calm down? These are Brad's guys. Nothing to worry about.
芝麻开门 我们走 Open Sesame. Here we go.
嘿! Hey!
嘿 我觉得那家伙演过"青春传奇" Hey, I think that guy was in La Bamba.
那是在踢球吗? 真有意思 足球 Is that a little football over there? That's fun. Soccer.
有孩子是好事 我这么觉得 Kids are a good sign, I guess.
- 你们好 - 这是什么地方? - Hey there. - What is this place?
看到了吧? 是个可爱的贩毒小区 Will you look at this? It's a cute little drug-dealing community.
他们估计有西班牙油条卖 They probably sell churros.
你放松点好吗? Will you relax?
没事的 我们没事 It's fine. We're totally fine.
我会进去 拿个小背包 或者一个旅行箱还是什么的 然后我们就可以走了 I'll run in, pick up a duffel bag, a suitcase or something and we'll be on our way.
嗨 好了 看 还有欢迎仪仗呢 Hi. Now come on. See, it's the welcome wagon.
我去跟这个家伙谈谈 Let me go talk to this guy.
你好 你好 大个子 我是戴维 Hola. Hola, big man, me llamo David.
对 我是来取布莱德·嘉德林格的货的 Yeah, I'm here to pick up for Brad Gurdlinger.
- 哦 - 他有枪 - Oh. - He's got a gun.
- 哦 天呐 - 喔 喔 嘿 嘿 嘿! - Oh, God. - Whoa, whoa. Hey, hey, hey!
- 哦 天呐 - 巴勃罗·察孔! 是巴勃罗·察孔! - Oh, God. - Palo Hacon! Palo Hacon!
巴勃罗·察孔知道吗? Pablo Chacon?
巴勃罗·察孔 我是来取巴勃罗·察孔的货的 Pablo Chacon. I'm here to pick up for Pablo Chacon.
你是那个留着驴子发型的白人外国佬 You are the White Gringo with the haircut of a donkey.
呃 是 是的 Uh, yeah. Sí.
好 好 非常白 非常 非常老外 是啊 Yeah. Yeah, mucho white-o. Very, very gringo. Yeah.
- 他们是谁? - 嗯 那是我的"家人" - Who are they? - Um, that's my "family."
我的 呃 我家人 You know, uh, mi familia.
帮我带着货出境 对 You know, helping me out here with the deal. Yeah.
对 Yeah.
是 我知道 是挺令人难以置信的 Yeah. I know, I can't believe it either.
你们看见他的眼睛了吗? 上帝啊 Do you see his eye? Jesus Christ.
来! 取货了 Come! Drugs now.
- 好的 可以 - 什么? - Okay, great. - What?
很好 开始吧 好吧 That's great. Let's do it. Okay.
好了 大个子 大家说的那点大麻在哪? All right, big fella, where's the smidge of weed everyone's talking about?
- 这可不止一点 - 哦 天呐 - This is a little more than a smidge. - Oh, dear.
冷静点 好吗? 没事的 Calm down. Okay? We're gonna be fine.
哦 是啊 对 没事 Oh, yeah, sure, right.
我们只是要用房车拉着两吨大麻... All we're doing is smuggling two metric tons of marijuana...
穿越国境而已! across an international border in a rented motor home!
我也觉得这没什么大不了! 呃! I don't see what could possibly go wrong! Ugh!
好吧 呃 我要打个电话 Okay, uh, I'm gonna make a phone call real quick.
肯尼 盯着点 Kenny, watch the pot.
这地方真不错 It's a great place.
去你的 Fuck you.
嘿 伙计 Hey. Buddy.
我告诉你一个小秘密 我是个很棒的雕塑家 I'm gonna let you in on a little secret. I'm like an amazing sculptor.
- 你说什么呢? - 我都忙了一天了 - What are you talking about? - I've been working all day.
我在雕刻一条正在我老二下挣扎的虎鲸 因为我把我的老二戳进它的喷气孔深处了 It's an orca and he's breaching and I'm balls deep in his blow hole.
你他妈的在说什么啊? What the fuck?
嗯哦 出什么问题了? Uh-oh, something wrong?
是啊! 出问题了 出了很大很大的问题 好吧? Yeah! Something's wrong. Something's very, very wrong. Okay?
你说是"一点货" You said "a smidge of pot."
这可不是一点 This is not a smidge.
- 比一点多那么一点点? 不是吗? - 不是 - Smidge and a half? No? - No.
你让我运的大麻都够把他妈的威利·尼尔森毒死了 伙计! You got me moving enough weed to kill Willie-fucking-Nelson, man!
是吗? 咱们说话的时候他们正他妈的排成人墙往房车里装呢! Okay? They're using a goddamn bucket brigade to put it on the RV as we speak!
你进去跟他们说你要帮巴勃罗·察孔取货 他们只是说: You walked in, told them you were picking up for Pablo Chacon and they were like:
- "没问题!" - 等等 - "No problem!" - Wait a minute.
你那么惊讶是怎么回事? 你跟他们说了我们要来的 对吧? Why do you sound surprised? You told them we were coming, right?
放松! Relax!
一切都会没事的 伙计 我贿赂了边境一号出口的人 Everything's gonna be fine, man. I greased the guard in lane one at the border.
他会放你们过境的 我们明天早晨见! He'll let you breeze through, I'll see you in the morning!
我会给你买早午餐吃 I'll even buy you brunch.
我能说点别的了吗? Can I change the subject for a second?
等你回来看到这雕塑... If you get back and see the sculpture...
你看着它肯定会想 "哇 蛋蛋可真大" you're gonna look at it and be like, "Whoa, those balls are huge."
只有蛋蛋是不符合解剖学标准的尺寸 The balls are the only part that are not anatomically correct.
其他部分都是完美的 Everything else is perfect.
只是我为了赞颂我的性能力而把蛋蛋雕得大了一点 But I made the balls a little larger as a tribute to my manhood.
操 布莱德 Fuck you, Brad.
这才是我爱的戴维! That's the David I love!
来操吧! 来吧 Fuck you too! Come on, let's do this!
哈哈! 我们很快就见面了 我的小骡子! Ha, ha! I'll see you soon, my little drug mule!
哼啊! 哼啊! 哼啊... Hee-haw! Hee-haw! Hee-haw...
该死! Shit!
哦 不用了 谢谢 我不想吃 Oh, no. Thank you. I'm good.
你拒绝我妈妈的礼物? You reject my mother's gift?
我是说 我不知道该怎么说 I mean, I don't know whether I'd put it in those terms.
- 闭嘴然后接着水果 - 对 拿着 - Shut up and take the fruit. - Right. Got it.
谢谢 女士 Thank you, ma'am.
- 你想害死我们吗? - 什么? - You wanna get us killed? - What?
阿弥陀佛 Namaste.
喔 Whoa.
我觉得史诺普·道格肯定爱死这个冰箱了 I think Snoop Dogg would fuck this fridge.
至少可以保鲜 At least it keeps it fresh.
哦 只要没有人上车... Well, as long as no one sets foot inside the RV...
从车窗外往里瞧 或者给我们过地磅... looks through a window, or weighs us...
- 我们应该就没事 - 我们会没事的 - we should be pretty good. - We'll be fine.
我们完蛋了 We're totally fucked.
啊 该死 这是他妈的什么? Aw, shit. What the hell is this?
- 像什么啊? 是个条子 天才 - 冷静点 - What's it look like? It's a cop, genius. - Be cool.
- 记住我们是米勒一家 好的 - 好的 好的 - Remember we're the Millers. Okay. - Okay. Yeah. Okay. Cool.
- 哦 你好 警官 - 你好 - Oh. Buenos dias, officer. - Hola.
如果违反了你们的交通法规我很抱歉 I'm sorry if we were violating some of your traffic laws.
是这样 我们家参加了一项路上游戏... You see, the family and I got into a heated game of road bingo and...
- 别废话了 - 什么? - Cut the shit. - I'm sorry?
我看见你从巴勃罗·察孔的营地出来 I saw you leaving Pablo Chacon's compound.
我们都知道如果我搜你的车 会搜出什么来 And we both know if I search your mobile home, what I'd find.
那会蹲很久监狱的 Much prison time for such things.
是 是 Yeah. Yeah.
不过我没心情抓人... But I don't feel like arresting anybody...
所以我直接受点贿然后就走了 so I'll just simply take my bribe and I'll be on my way.
哦 好啊 哈哈 Well, all right. Ha, ha.
很好 正合我意! 你想要多少? 100? 200? This is what I'm talking about. Great! How much we talking? 100? 200?
- 一千 - 一千? - One thousand. - A thousand?
- 嗯 - 什么 你要攒钱买房吗? - Mm-hm. - What, are you buying a house down here?
太多了 嗯 我们现在身上没有那么多现金 It's a lot. Um, we don't have that sort of cash on us right now.
是这样 那可就麻烦了 You see, that's gonna be a problem.
是 是啊 Yeah, yeah.
或者你们可以提供些别的 别如说 呃... Maybe you can offer me something else. Say, uh...
特殊服务之类的? something a little more personal?
- 哦 - 哦 - Oh. - Oh.
明白了 萝丝 去给他吹箫 I gotcha. Rose, suck his dick.
你妈的 我才不做 Fuck you, I'm not sucking anything.
行了 有点团队精神吧? Come on. Will you be a team player?
- 你他妈是耍我呢吗? - 你别自私了好吗? - Are you fucking kidding me? - Will you stop being selfish?
等等 等等 女士 不要太紧张 Please, please, se?ora. No need to be alarmed.
是这样 我是 按照你们的说法 是个喜欢男人的人 See, I'm, how you say, a man who prefers the company of other men.
- 哦 - 哦 - Oh. - Oh.
- 戴维 给他吹箫 - 萝丝 - David, suck his dick. - Rose.
揉他的蛋蛋 最多五秒就完了 Five seconds tops. Just cradle the balls.
嗯 Mm.
行了 戴维 有点团队精神 很爽的 Come on, David. Be a team player. You're gonna have fun.
嗯... Um...
好吧 肯尼! 过来 兄弟 Okay. Kenny! Front and center, buddy.
呃... Uh...
好了 什么计划? Okay, so what's the plan?
过去假装友好然后干掉他? Go up there and pretend to and then you're gonna jump him?
计划是这样 呃... The plan is, um...
来 过来 过来 Here. Come here, come here.
好了 这样 你 你就是这个瓶盖 Okay, um, let's see. You, you're this bottle cap.
明白吗? 而我是这个烟头 Right? And I am this cigarette butt.
好了 这是我们 明白了吗? 他在那边 在灌木丛旁边 Okay, that's us. All right? Okay? He's over there, right by this, that bush.
我们用石头代表他 We'll make him the pebble.
你去灌木丛后面找他 You will go and meet him behind the bush right over there.
你给他吹箫 然后我们走 You suck his dick, and we get outta here.
- 简单吧? 来吧 等我数到三 - 什么?! 不! - Okay? Bring it in, on three. - What?! No!
你说不什么意思? 有什么问题? What do you mean no? What's wrong?
- 哦 我不是基佬 - 你确定吗? - Well, I'm not gay. - Are you sure?
我是说 你没试过怎么会知道 I mean, you never really know until you know.
- 不 我不是基佬 - 好吧 这样 冷静一下 - No. I'm not gay. - Okay. All right. Calm down.
是这样 你现在这种搞基恐惧症 恰恰说明你是基佬 Look, this gay panic situation you're having now, it's coming off a little homophobic.
什么 因为我不想给他吹箫? What, because I don't want a penis in my mouth?
完全正确 基佬都这样 Exactly. It's exactly what homophobic means.
听着 你过去 你就假装那是个妹子的老二 Look, you go over there, you just, you know, you pretend it's a girl's dick.
任何一个你想要的妹子的老二 Any girl's dick you want.
- 我觉得这逻辑上说不通啊 - 来 听我的 - I'm not sure I agree with that logic. - Look, listen to me.
- 他在给他讲什么? - 不知道 - What is he saying to him? - I have no idea.
好吗? 就听我的 好吗? All right? Just listen to me. All right?
上吧 伙计 Come on, man.
这是你成为英雄的机会 This is your chance to be the hero.
- 我不明白 戴维 - 你这么做不是为了我 - I don't know, David. - Don't do it for me.
也不是为了你自己 而是为了她们两个姑娘 为了萝丝和凯茜 Don't even do it for you. Do it for the girls. For Rose and Casey.
相信我 因为她们在墨西哥的监狱里两天都坚持不了 Because, believe me, they won't last two days in a Mexican prison.
- 好吧 - 好孩子! - Okay. - Attaboy!
- 为了她们两个姑娘 - 我为你骄傲 - I'll do it for the girls. - I'm proud of you.
嘿 怎么回事? Hey. What's going on?
要么来个人给我吹箫 要么给我一千比索(相当于77美金) Somebody sucking my dick, or am I getting 1000 pesos?
不 他会给你... No, he's gonna w...
- "比索"? 你怎么不早说? - 嗯 一千 - "Pesos"? Why didn't you say so? - Mm-hm. A thousand.
哦 哦 那就相当于 大概 80美元吧? Oh, well, that's like, what, 80 bucks American?
给 给你 一百块 别找了 Here. Here you go. A hundred. Keep the change.
真不敢相信你居然想给那个家伙吹箫 行了 我们走 Can't believe you were gonna suck that guy's dick. Come on, let's go.
所有车辆 请按照指定路线缓慢通行... All vehicles, please proceed slowly in assigned lanes...
并准备接受检查 and prepare for vehicle inspection.
好了 我们来了 就是这了 Okay, here we go. This is it.
肯尼 去拿帽子 快 Kenny, grab the hats. Hurry.
你说守卫会直接让我们过去的 You said the guard was just gonna wave us through.
会的 不过我们还是不能让别人觉得太可疑 He will. But let's look the part so the others don't get suspicious.
这家伙想搞什么鬼? What the fuck does this guy want?
不知道 不过他在鸣笛示意 I don't know. But he's honking.
- 嗨! - 别理他 - Hi! - Just ignore them.
好吧 他真的在鸣笛而且够引人注目了 我觉得他只是想打个招呼 Okay, he's really honking and it's making a huge scene. I think he just wants to say hi.
哦 天呐 我不想打招呼 Oh, my God. I don't wanna say hi.
他们在招手 如果我们也招手 他就消停了 They're just waving. If we just wave, he'll stop.
好吧 我来打招呼 好吧 Fine. I'll say hi. Fine.
- 嗨! - 嗨! - Hi! - Hi!
你们好! 你们家的房车不错啊 伙计 Howdy-doody! Quite a rig you got there, amigo.
你们的也不错 That is quite a rig you guys have there too.
哦 非常感谢 我们很喜欢她 Well, thank you very kindly. We do love her.
现在我们已经不像我女儿小时候那样经常开着她出去玩了 We don't take her out as often as we used to when our girl was small.
腾出时间全家一起旅行很不易 但时间挤挤还是有的 对吧? It can be such a bear to carve out quality family time but you gotta do it, don't you?
对 我们是戴维·米勒和萝丝·米勒 Yeah, David and Rose Miller here.
哦 Oh.
这是我女儿 凯茜 还有我儿子 肯尼 This is my daughter, Casey, right here. And my son, Kenny.
- 真帅 - 很高兴认识你们 - How handsome. - Pleased to make your acquaintance.
我叫唐·菲茨杰拉德 我的内人 伊迪斯... Don Fitzgerald, my smoldering wife, Edith...
还有我们的女儿 打个招呼 梅丽莎 and our daughter. Say hi, Melissa.
- 一号通道 请靠前 - 哦 - Lane one, please pull forward. - Oh.
先生 先生 请靠前 Sir. Sir, please pull forward.
车里有大麻 I got a joint here.
- 关闭一号通道 - 是药用的 - Shut down lane one. - It's medicinal.
- 他说什么? - 他带着大麻 - What'd he say? - He has a joint.
那么点就被抓了? That's it?
- 藏起来 - 好吧 - Hide it. - Okay.
快藏好! 哦 天呐! Get rid of it! Oh, my God!
该死的 Holy shit.
- 太险了 - 你有个小宝宝! - Oh, that was so close. - You have a baby!
- 哦 我喜欢小宝宝! - 哦 - Oh, I love babies! - Oh. 681
哦 快看那个可爱的小人儿! Oh, look at that gorgeous little bundle of joy!
这个美丽的小宝贝叫什么名字? What's that beautiful little baby's name?
- 他叫小... - 勒布朗 - This is our little... - LeBron.
- 他叫勒布朗 - 没错 - Name's LeBron. - Yup.
- 哦 - 法国名儿 - Oh. - A little French fella.
我们的小勒布朗 It's our little LeBron.
本来我不喜欢这个名字 但我太太超级心水那个... I was against the name at first, but the missus has a real soft spot...
那个永远都不会像乔丹一样伟大还爱耍大牌的球星 for prima donnas who'll never be as good as Jordan.
我看不到他的小脸 I can't see the face.
- 我好想看看他的小脸 - 先生 请把车开到二车道 - I'm dying to see his face. - Sir, pull forward to lane two.
- 该死! 都把帽子戴上 - 你得靠边停 - Oh, fuck! Okay, put on the hats. - You gotta pull over.
- 就这样 - 好吧 - Here we go. - Great.
- 天啊 我觉得自己像个白痴 - 就要这效果 - My God, I feel like a fucking idiot. - That's the idea.
嘿 嘿 大家都微笑 听我指挥 明白吗? Hey, hey, hey, hey. Everybody smile and follow my lead, all right?
我会把大家带到目的地的 来吧 I'm gonna take us to the promised land. Here we go. Here we go.
淡定 Steady.
- 淡定 - 该死 - Steady. - Shit.
嘘 嘘 我来处理 Shh. Shh, shh. I got this one.
好了 注意微笑 别紧张 听我指挥 Okay. Everybody just smile. Everybody be cool. Here we go. Follow my lead. Ahem.
你携带任何东西进入美国进内了吗 先生? You bringing anything into the United States, sir?
呃... Yuh...
先生 你携带任何走私品进入美国境内了吗? Sir, are you bringing any contraband back into the United States?
嗯... Um...
- 先生? 能听懂英语吗? - 戴维! - Sir? English? - David!
各位 请把车停在路边 并从车里出来 Folks, I need you to pull over and exit the vehicle, please.
- 但... - 长官 真的要这样做吗? - But... - Sir, is that actually necessary?
孩子们刚刚拉屎了 所以... I mean, these kids are pooped and we've just...
女士 我要你们立即从房车里出来 Madam, I need everybody out of this recreational vehicle immediately.
- 那我先把孩子放下 - 我们先把孩子放下 - I'll just put the baby down. - We'll put the baby away.
抱着孩子 开到二号检查区 然后立即下车! Bring the child, pull over to the secondary inspection area and exit the vehicle now!
- 好吧 - 明白 - Okay. - Good.
没事的 It's okay. It's all right.
别怕 宝贝 就是只小狗 It's okay, baby. It's just a puppy.
把它带走 Stand down.
没事了 All right. It's okay.
在我搜查汽车之前 有没有什么话想跟我说? Before I search the vehicle, is there anything you wanna tell me about?
因为一旦门打开了... Because after I open that door...
我就帮不了你们了 I can't help you.
最后的机会 我会把这辆车搜查得底朝天的 Last chance. I'm gonna search this vehicle top to bottom.
那好吧 All right.
有人逃跑! We got runners!
抱歉给你们添麻烦了 这种状况常有 Sorry to inconvenience you, folks. This happens a lot.
祝你们过得愉快 You have a nice day.
快走! Go. Go, go!
啊 得来全不费功夫啊! Ah. Well, that was fucking easy!
- 哦 天啊 - 天啊! - Oh, my God. - God!
哇! 我们成功了! Whoo! We did it!
干得漂亮 米勒一家! 击个掌! 大家太棒了 Nicely done, Millers! Give it up! Very good job. Here you go.
萝丝! 耶! 戴维! 好样的! Rose! Yeah! David! There you go!
我们现在都正式成为国际毒枭 别忘在你们的简历里写上一笔 We are all officially international drug smugglers. Add it to the resume.
哈哈 来首胜利小曲 怎么样? Ha, ha. How about a little victory music, huh?
哦 不要这首 Oh, no, no, no.
- 别换 我喜欢这首歌 - 我也是 - Don't change it. I love this song. - Me too.
什么? 这首歌流行的时候我都不喜欢听 What? I didn't even like this song when it was popular.
放松点嘛 戴维 Come on, loosen up, David.
# 请跟着小河走 # # Please stick to the rivers #
# 你会来到曾经的那片湖 # # And the lakes that you're used to #
别这样 Don't do this.
怎么回事? 这都不算一首胜利歌曲 What? This isn't even a good victory song.
停下来 你们别唱了 No, stop. We are not doing this.
太丢人了 停下 This is embarrassing. Stop.
# 来吧 # # Ah, come on. #
# 昨天我看到了彩虹 经历了那么多风雨 # # I seen a rainbow yesterday. But too many storms have come and gone #
# 它发出耀眼的光芒 照亮了我灰暗的生活 # # Leavin' a trace of not one God-given ray. Is it because my life is 10 shades of gray #
怎么回事? What the fuck?
# 我希望自己告别灰暗 永远生活在阳光下 # # I pray all 10 fade away Seldom praise him for the sunny days #
# 你说我太疯狂 世界太残酷 # # You claim the insane. And name this place in time #
# 体制让你想犯罪 # # For fallin' prey to crime, I swear. The system got you victim to your own mind #
# 梦想总是被摧毁 # # Dreams are hopeless aspirations. In hopes of comin' true #
# 相信自己 命运在我手中 # # Believe in yourself. The rest is up to me and #
# 不要随波逐流 # # Don't go chasin' waterfalls #
- 哇! - 哇 肯尼! - Whoo! - Whoo, yeah, Kenny!
你跟谁学的 唱得这么好? Where did you learn to do that?
我才不管 Yeah, whatever.
察孔先生 Se?or Chacon.
没想到您会来 We were not expecting you.
我决定亲和美国佬一起来 以确保万无一失 I decided to bring the gringo myself to make sure everything goes as planned.
但是美国佬已经货运走了啊 先生 But the gringo has already left with the shipment, se?or.
哪个美国佬? What gringo?
一个留着驴一样发型的美国佬 The gringo with the haircut of a donkey.
你说的是这个留着驴一样发型的美国佬吗? You mean this gringo with the haircut of a donkey.
我让您失望了 先生 I have failed you, se?or.
如果再见到那个美国佬 你还能认出来吗? If you saw this gringo again would you recognize him?
他和家人是开着一辆房车来的 He was driving an RV with his family.
上车 Get in the car.
哦 现在时速多少? Oh, how fast are you going?
别紧张 我没超速 不会被警察拦下来的 Calm down, I'm going the speed limit. We won't get pulled over.
不 我是说像这样一辆装满货物的房车... No, no. I mean, loaded down like this in a 15-ton vehicle...
爬10°的斜坡 going up a 10 percent grade.
你能不能用用脑子 戴维 我觉得你完全没考虑过这个 Just use your head, David. I don't think you think things through.
- 什么意思? - 各部分应该合理分配负重 - What? - Weight distribution loading and towing.
- 明白吗? - 我知道 - See? - Yeah, I do.
我早都计划好了 I thought this plan through.
- 一切都很顺利 - 哦 这下好了 - Seems to be working out. - Oh, great.
哦 该死! Oh, Shit!
搞什么 天啊...! Seriously. God...!
这也是你计划之中的吗 戴维? Was this part of your plan, David?
真该死 Damn it.
- 我们现在怎么办? - 我不知... - Wait, what are we gonna do now? - I don't kno...
这里连信号都没有 I can't even get a signal.
我靠 这里真是前不着村后不着店 No shit. We're in the fucking middle of nowhere, dude.
哦 多谢 凯茜 Oh, gee, thank you, Casey.
谢谢你出色的办事能力 真是帮了大忙了 Thank you for your amazing problem solving skills. So helpful.
嘿 你要去哪? Whoa. Hey, what are you doing?
我才不想在装满大麻的房车旁边傻站着 I'm not gonna stand on the side of the road next to an RV filled with pot.
我要去找人帮忙 I'm gonna try to find help.
- 去他的 我跟她一起去 再见 - 什么? - Yeah, fuck this. I'm going with her. Bye. - What?
- 等等我! - 呃 太荒唐了! - Wait up! - Ugh. Ridiculous!
好吧 没关系 这主意不错 快去快回 Okay. Actually, that's fine. Good idea. Okay, hurry back though, please.
"一切我都计划好了" 是吗? 计划得不错 你根本没有计划 "Oh, I have a plan." Really? Good plan. You don't have any plans.
女人就是这样 对吧? Women, am I right?
闭上臭嘴 肯尼 Shut the fuck up, Kenny.
他是个自大狂 我都快被弄疯了 And he's so smug. Ugh. He drives me crazy.
没错 他是个白痴 Well, yeah, he's an idiot.
不 他不白痴 其实他很聪明 No, he's not an idiot. He's actually kind of smart.
你干嘛替他说话? Why are you defending him?
我没替他说话 我只是说... I'm not defending him. I'm just saying that he...
你没看到我们落到什么田地了吗? 整个计划都愚蠢透顶 Have you seen where we are? This whole plan is so stupid.
哦 是吗? Oh, really?
你计划的好 怎么沦落到露宿街头了? What golden advice did you follow that ended with you on the streets?
我没有露宿街头 明白吗? 我寄住在朋友家 I don't live on the streets, okay? I crash with friends.
啊 好吧 Ah. Okay. I see.
那么说 戴维和肯尼找到你的时候 你正在四处蹭沙发睡 So you were kind of between couches when David and Kenny found you.
你要一直对我说教吗? 我要吐了 Are you gonna lecture me? Seriously, I'll puke.
我不是在对你说教 You know what, I'm not lecturing you.
那太好了 因为我不需要脱衣舞娘的建议 Okay, good. Because I don't need advice from a stripper.
知道吗 小混球? 我发誓... All right, you know what you little shit? I swear...
这是搞什么? What the hell is this?
看看这对可爱的搭便车的母女 Well, look at this cute little couple of hitchhikers.
我们是来帮助你们的 We're here to save your bacon.
快上来吧 姑娘们 哈哈! Saddle up, little ladies. Ha-ha-ha!
嘿 怎么回事? Hey. Hi, what's going on?
你们刚走他们就出现了 他们会把我们拖到修车厂的 They pulled up right after you guys left. They're gonna tow us to a mechanic. Okay?
但他们一直要抱大麻宝贝 They keeping asking to hold the weed baby.
好了 好了 淡定 All right, all right, calm down. Okay.
别紧张 好吗? 交给我来 看着 Just calm down, all right? I got this. Watch.
我要抱抱小宝贝 I'm holding that baby.
伊迪 你会抱到他的 但现在勒布朗该睡午觉了 Edie, you will, I promise, but it's nap time for LeBron.
大家都上车吧 Come on, guys, let's go.
快登上菲茨杰拉德特快列车 嘀嘀! All aboard the Fitzgerald Express. Honk, honk!
- 哈哈哈 - 嘟嘟! - Ha-ha-ha! - Toot, toot!
看起来就像我们组装了一辆火车 但其实不是 It's like we're pretending it's a train, but it's not.
- 我被地精困住了 - 好的 - Surrounded by goblins. - Okay.
哦 哦! Oh, Oh, Oh!
等一下 好吗? 坚持住 别怕 One more sec, okay? Hold on, one second. Don't freak.
花样游泳运动员表演的时候... When you're a synchronized swimmer...
不能用卫生巾 因为会被看到 you can't use a maxi pad, you can see it.
所以我朋友给我买了一盒卫生棉条 So my friend bought me a box of tampins.
跟你们说实话 刚开始塞进去真不容易 And I'll tell you, I had a hard time inserting those.
- 每次塞到一半就卡住了 - 嗯 - It would just stick halfway out. - Mm-hm.
- 就像罗马焰火筒那样 - 嗯 - It was just like a Roman candle. - Mm-hm.
就是这样我才发现自己的阴道很浅 And that is how I found out I was born with a shallow vagina.
- 真是个描写细腻的故事 伊迪 - 谢谢夸奖! - That was such a detailed story, Edie. - Thank you!
你应该去当脱口秀女主播 你知道吗? 你的表达很丰富 You gotta do a one-woman show. It's, like, so many layers, you know?
那你们有什么故事 戴维? So, what's your story, David?
- 什么故事? - 你们俩怎么认识的? - What do you mean? - How'd you two meet?
啊! 亲爱的 说说吧 Ah! Honey, tell her.
千万别落下任何浪漫的部分 And don't leave out any of the romantic parts.
好吧 Okay. All right.
我们在哪认识的 呃... Where did we first meet. Um...
很美好 It's great.
那应该是萝丝刚搬到我住的公寓 Well, that would have been when Rose moved into my apartment building.
- 啊 是的 - 嗯 - Ah. That's right. - Mm-hm.
我记得当时我通过门缝里看着她... I remember watching her through the crack in my door as she was...
等一下 你偷看我? Wait, you were spying on me?
亲爱的 虽然这个故事你已经听过几千遍了... Now, hon, just because you've heard it a thousand times...
但你也不能打断我啊 要淑女 doesn't mean you should interrupt. Don't be rude.
好吧 继续 All right. Proceed.
好吧 我在偷看她 But, yeah, I was spying on her.
她一个人把行李从卡车上搬下来 She was unloading this U-Haul all by herself.
我想去帮忙 但又不想让她觉得我想泡她 因为... I wanna go help her, but I don't wanna come off like I'm hitting on her, because...
因为我确实想泡她 you know, I'd like to hit on her maybe at some point.
那天... And, uh...
她穿了一双海军蓝的查泰勒帆布鞋 和牛仔短裤 she was wearing these little navy blue Chuck Taylors and these jean shorts.
后面没有兜儿的那种款式 No pockets on the back, however that happened.
还有汤姆·威茨式的衬衫 And this, uh, Tom Waits T-shirt.
我心想 "哇 真酷" I was like, "Oh, that's cool."
因为我喜欢汤姆·威茨 Because I love Tom Waits.
她看起来好美 And she just looked beautiful.
那种尖酸刻薄的美丽 If you're into that kind of mean, pretty thing.
然后... So, anyway, uh...
她开始搬那些看起来很奇葩的大幅油画 she starts to bring up this really big weird-looking painting up the stairs.
我对自己说 "机会来了" 所以我开门出去... And I'm like, "Okay, here's my shot." All right, so I go outside...
去帮她搬 至少我打算帮忙 and I help her with it. I'm trying to, at least.
她看着我大叫: "住手!" She looks at me and goes: "Stop it!"
- 她冲着我大吼 - 是你先抢我的画的 - She just snaps at me. - You started yanking at it.
接下来 拔河比赛就开始了... Next thing you know, it's a tug of war...
拉过来 拉过去... fulling it back and forth and out of nowhere...
他一拳正好洞穿画布 His fat fist goes right through the canvas.
- 那是个意外 - 我才不管! 反正你毁了我的画 - But it was an accident. - Doesn't matter! You ruined my painting.
说实话 我觉得你应该好好感谢我 Okay. Honestly, I really think you should've thanked me.
因为那幅画太难看了 Yeah, because that painting was hideous.
那幅画是我祖父画的 My grandfather painted that painting.
它是这世界上我最宝贵的东西 And it was my favorite thing in the entire world.
于是我们在楼前像是开始比赛谁吼得大声一样 So we get in this screaming match in front of the whole building.
所有人都出来围观 And everybody comes out and is watching it.
从那时起 我们的梁子就结下了 I mean, from that moment, we hated each other.
天啊 Oh, man.
- 后来你们相爱了 哦! - 嗯 我们相爱了 - And then you fell in love. Oh! - Yeah. Then we fell in love.
- 哈哈哈! - 嘿 出口到了 - Ha, ha! - Hey, now. I think this is our exit.
戴维 能把手套箱里的地图递给我吗? David, could you grab me the map out of the glove box?
没问题 Yes, sir.
- 哇 呃... - 哇! - Whoa. Whoa. Uh... - Whoa!
哦 抱歉 哥们 吓到你们了 Oh, hey, sorry about that, buddy. Didn't mean to scare you there.
那是我的执勤用的手枪和警徽 That's just my service pistol and badge.
哦 警徽 Oh. Your badge.
- 你是警察吗? - 不 不 - Are you a cop? - No, no, no.
不是? 吓我一跳 No? Oh, God.
- 我是缉毒局的 - 哦 - I'm in the DEA. - Oh.
我们家唐已经当了22年的探员了 Yeah, my Don has been an agent for the last 22 years.
之间有几次离职 On a bit of a hiatus at the moment.
他们不让他执勤 因为他人好欺负 They took him out of the field, he wasn't aggressive enough.
- 别说了 - 抱歉 不过他们不应该那样 唐 - That's enough. - I'm sorry. It's not right, Don.
那些乳臭未干的臭小子连你一半都不如 那群小崽子们 None of those young guns aren't half the agent you are, those crumb-bums.
伊迪斯 你知道这样乱骂我是什么感受 Edith, you know how I feel about your cussing.
- 对不起 唐 - 伊迪斯就是有时候太热血了 - I'm sorry, Don. - Edith can be a little hot-blooded at times.
- 我有1/8意大利血统 所以... - 哦 没关系 - I'm 1/8 Italian, so... - Oh. It's okay.
嘿 不好意思 Uh, hey, if you guys will excuse me.
- 要一块来吗? - 你们去干嘛? - Wanna join me? - Where are you off to?
- 我们去看看孩子 - 去大便 - We're gonna check on the baby. - Gonna take a dump.
- 看看孩子大便了吗 - 就是这个意思 - Check the baby's dumps. - That's what we should say.
- 去看看勒八朗 - 勒布朗 他叫勒布朗 - Yeah, just go check on Lebanon. - LeBron. His name's LeBron.
他老是闹肚子 腹泻什么的 He just has a terrible tummy. And it's just bad diarrhea stuff.
我们还有淀粉吗? Do we still have cornstarch?
把淀粉抹在他屁股上 Yeah, there's cornstarch for his bottom.
- 家庭会议 - 好的 - Family meeting. - Yep.
我正在抚摸我的小宝贝呢 I'm getting my hands on that baby.
他是缉毒警察? 你们有没有搞错?! He's a narc? Are you fucking kidding me?!
别慌! 我们还没有露马脚 所以别紧张! Stop panicking! We haven't done anything suspicious yet, so just relax!
是吗? 那他们要抱我们可爱的大麻宝贝怎么办? Oh, really? Okay. What about when they wanna hold our precious weed baby?
把孩子给我 好吧? Give me the baby, all right?
发生了什么 我都会担着的 I'll handle it if it happens. I'll totally take care of it.
现在我们要做的是想办法赶紧摆脱这家人 Right now, all we have to do is focus on getting away from that fucked up family.
该死 车为什么停了? Oh, fuck. Why are we stopping?
他们听到了 该死 我们要进监狱了 They heard us. They heard us. Fuck, we're going to jail.
盖里汽车维修中心
不 不 是到车库了 No, no, no. We're just at the garage, okay?
大家都淡定 我们没做什么 会没事的 Everybody calm down. We haven't done anything. You're right.
我会以最快的速度搞定他 我们进去修好了车就走 好吗? I'll ditch this guy real fast. We're gonna get in and get out of here, okay?
准备上场 好吗? 米勒一家的表演开始 走吧 Game face, okay? Miller time. Here we go.
附近还有别的修车店吗? No other repair shops nearby?
老板是基督徒 并且周六晚饭后还营业的? 没有了 先生 Run by a Christian and open after supper on a Saturday night? No, sir.
该死 我可以把我们车的散热管给你们 你们就能上路了... Ah, shoot. I'd give you the hose out of our rig and send you on your way...
但我们就走不了了 but we'd be stranded ourselves.
这样也好 还能让我们彼此增进了解 Besides, this way we can all get to know each other better.
- 怎么回事? - 他们明早才能开门 - What's happening? - They're closed till morning.
奥克拉荷马人怎么这样 Oklahoma.
哦 天啊 Oh, God.
你们今天可以和菲茨杰拉德一家一起露营了 You folks can make camp with the Fitzgeralds tonight.
我知道个不错的地方 我们住旧帐篷 你们可以住在我们车厢里 I know a great spot. We'll set up the old tents and you can bed down in our Winni.
- 我会帮你们修修车 - 不用 不用 - I'll give you a hand with your gear. - No, no, no.
没关系的 米勒一家人自己能行 That's okay. Millers carry their own weight.
- 我就喜欢你这点 戴维 - 肯尼 帮我把工具拿来? - I knew I liked you, David. - Kenny, you wanna get our shit?
- 嘿 - 这小宝贝一会肯定要开始哭闹了 - Hey. - This will be a hoot.
我帮你照顾小家伙 这样你们就可以小睡一会了 I'll watch your little one so you and your man can have some snuggle time.
- 我不希望你们太... - 我照顾小孩最拿手了 - I don't want you to have to... - I am good with babies.
别这样! 哦 把孩子给我 把孩子给我! Nonsense! Oh, give me the baby. Give me that baby!
该死! Shit!
哦 天啊! Oh, my God!
天啊! Oh, my God!
天啊 为什么没流血? Oh, my God. Why isn't there blood?!
哦 天啊! 怎么回事? Oh, my God! What's happening?
真是谢谢你了 妈 现在我的健康课作业怎么办? Thanks a lot, Mom. Now what am I supposed to use for my health project?
我会不及格的 然后必须上社区大学 I'm gonna fail and have to go to community college.
- 你毁了我的前途! - 亲爱的 - My future's ruined! - Honey.
菲茨杰拉德太太 你没事吧? Mrs. Fitzgerald, are you all right?
- 那孩子是...? - 哦 你不会以为勒布朗是...? - That baby was...? - Oh, did you think that LeBron was...?
- 哈哈哈 - 不 不 勒布朗是一袋草药 - Heh-heh-heh. - No, no, no. LeBron was a sack of herbs.
牛至叶 罗勒草什么的 Oregano and basil mostly.
我们把它当做真的婴儿那么对待 这是孩子的暑假作业 We were just treating it like a real baby, you know, a summer project.
- 附加分 - 这让学生们了解到... - Extra credit. - It teaches the students that...
养孩子是最坑爹的事情 nothing ruins your life like children.
是的 还让孩子们明白 永远都要 Yeah. And it also sends that message to teens, just stick to the big A.
- 要走后门 - 你的意思是 要禁欲 - Yeah, anal. - Abstinence, you meant.
- 这两种都不会有孩子 - 他弄混了 - Neither makes a baby. - He confuses them.
总之很抱歉 伊迪 只是我们答应凯茜... Anyway, I'm so sorry, Edie. We promised our Casey...
这个夏天我们会把它当做真正的婴儿 但我们做得有点过了 that we would treat it like a real baby all summer and we went too far.
习惯了就忘了 对不起 Got used to it. Sorry.
真是太不好意思了 And so I'm embarrassed, actually.
我觉得这样谁都会吓到的 I think that would scare anybody.
她很敏感的 她看电影"人鱼的童话"都哭到不行了 She's very emotional. You should have seen her at the end of Free Willy.
别说了 唐 Oh, stop it, Don.
我爱死那条鲸鱼了 I love that whale.
谁想参加篝火晚会? Well, who loves campfire games?
哦 唐 Oh, Don.
女士们先生们 欢迎大家来到... Ladies and gentlemen, it's my pleasure to welcome you...
一年一度的菲茨杰拉德家族欢乐演唱会 to the annual singing Fitzgerald family jamboree.
我们的老朋友们没有来 Our usual guests couldn't be here this year.
- 他们是奥斯蒙德一家 - 哈哈! - Uh, they're called the Osmond family. - Ha-ha-ha!
但是很高兴今年我们请到了米勒一家人 But in their place this year we have the very talented and wonderful Miller family.
先来一首菲茨杰拉德家族的代表作 Let's get this party started with a Fitzgerald family favorite.
# 烈日下辛苦劳作 # # Breakin' rocks in the hot sun #
# 我曾想做点坏事 但没有得逞 # # I fought the law and the law won #
# 法网恢恢 # # It always does. #
# 我曾想偷点钱 因为我身无分文 # # I needed to steal some money 'cause I had none #
# 我曾想做点坏事 但没有得逞 # # I fought the law and the law won #
下面米勒一家合唱 Now just the Millers.
# 我曾想做点坏事 但没有得逞 # # I fought the law and the law won #
你要想象一下自己犯了重罪 正要被送往监狱... I want you to imagine you committed a felony, you've been tried and sent to prison...
你站在烈日下挥舞着锤子在砸石头... and you're standing out in the sun breaking up rocks with a sledgehammer. And...
# 我曾想做点坏事 但没有得逞 # # I fought the law and the law won #
- 唱得真棒 - 真棒 - All right, that's great. - That's good.
- 这首歌真不错 - 我喜欢 - That's fun. Great song. - I love it. That was great.
有品位 Great choice.
- 好了 孩子们 - 唱的真不错 - Great, kids. - Well, that was an A for effort.
- 哇! 我掌握了! - 太好了 - Whoo! I got the spirit! - That's great.
是小鸟 是飞机 It's a bird, it's a plane.
- 美国空军 美国空军 单脚滑滑板! - 带我回... - U.S. Air Force, U.S. Air Force. Ollie North! - Take me home to...
看起来像海洋生物 Looks like a sea animal.
锤齿鲨 Hammer tooth shark.
等到他们都睡着了 我们就溜进帐篷 怎么样? We wait until they fall asleep and then we sneak into their tent, all right?
割断他们的脖子 Mm. Cut their throats.
- 什么? - 怎么了? - What? - What?
不 天啊 No. Jesus.
- 你在想什么呢? - 没什么 - What the fuck's wrong with you? - Nothing.
我没要那么做 我以为你要那么做才说的 I wasn't saying to do that. I didn't say that. I thought you were gonna say it.
你以为我要说"割断他们的喉咙"? You thought I was gonna say "cut their throats"?
你以为我是黑社会老大吗? 饶了我吧 Who do you think I am, Scarface? Give me a break.
- 老布什! - 纸飞机! - Herbert Walker Bush! - Paper airplanes!
小丑 小丑三明治 Clowns. Clown sandwich.
不要把婴儿锁在地下室里 Don't lock the baby in the basement.
我要说的是: 我们溜进帐篷 偷了唐的钥匙... What I was gonna say: We sneak into the tent, steal Don's keys...
然后把房车开到修车厂 我就可以把他们的散热管换走 then we take the RV back to the shop and I can swap out their radiator hose for ours.
啊 明白了 Ah. Got it.
- 地球! 地球着火了! - 大气层 - The Earth! The Earth is on fire! - Atmosphere.
呃... Uh...
非常简单 Plain and simple.
基地组织! 基地组织! AI Qaeda! AI Qaeda!
是"非常简单" It was "plain and simple."
- 看 这是"飞" 下面是... - 哦 梅丽莎 原来是这个 - See, this was a plane, and then this w... - Oh, Melissa, of course it was.
真是聪明 That is so clever.
我真心觉得你画得不错 Gosh, I thought it was really good.
我不会画画... I'm a terrible drawer, so...
- 棒极了 该你上了 - 啊 - Great, because you're up next. - Ah.
- 接力棒给你 - 画得不错 - Passing the baton. - Nice work.
开始吧 肯尼 Okay. Let's go, Kenny.
好了 肯尼 开始吧 All right, Kenny, here we go.
- 好好画 - 好的 这是一条线 - Draw your brains out. - All right, that's a line.
- 一条斜线 枪与玫瑰 - 像一条溪水 - A slash. Guns and Roses. - Looks like a spring.
这是啥? 是... 呃 快画 肯尼 What is that? That's a... Kenny, come on, draw something, buddy.
- 绳子 - 加油 儿子 - String. - Come on, son.
- 火箭 是火箭还是... - 是黄瓜吗? - Rocket. It's a rocket or... - Is that a cucumber?
这太愚蠢了 This is really stupid.
这是幅下流画吧 肯尼? 我的答案是"下流画" Is it a bad drawing, Kenny? My guess is "bad drawing."
- 这是... - 我知道了!是阴茎 - It's... - Oh! A penis! A penis.
是个大鸡鸡 那是蛋蛋 It's a big dick. Those are balls.
这是一个黑色大鸡鸡! It's a big black dick! It's a drawing. Black! It's a big black dick.
是一个又大又黑的鸡鸡! It's a big, big black cock!
黑鸡坠落! Black Cock Down!
这是滑板 It's a skateboard.
- 没错 是滑板 - 当然了 就是滑板 - It's a skateboard, great. - A skateboard. Of course it is.
- 是一个巨大的黑的滑板 - 我看出来了 - It's a big black skateboard. - I see it.
当然了 很明显 不过 它是朝上的... 它... Of course. It's very clear. But, you see, it was up... There's...
它的轮子 我没注意它是放在地上的 它... Its wheels, so I didn't see it down on the ground, and then it...
黑鸡坠落? 黑鸡坠落? Black Cock Down? Black Cock Down?
很棒 梅丽尔·斯特里普 演得不错 Nice job, Meryl Streep. Very subtle character work.
他画成那样让我怎么猜 Not my fault that Kenny can't draw.
别把把责任推给肯尼 Don't you pick on Kenny.
那东西看起来一点都不像滑板 Nothing about that looked like a skateboard.
别说他了 肯尼去哪了? You leave him alone. Where the hell's Kenny?
- 过来看 - 怎么了? - You guys, come here. - What?
- 怎么了? - 看看他俩 - What's going on? - Look at these two.
- 喔 - 呃 - Aww. - Uh-oh.
- 我猜我不擅长画画 - 不 你画的很好 - Guess I'm not the best drawer. - No, you were great.
- 我看出来那是个滑板了 - 是啊 - I knew that was a skateboard. - Yeah.
- 我不知道问题出在哪 - 不 我... - I don't know where the confusion was. - No, I... That...
呃 Yeah.
我很喜欢你的家人 他们... I, um, really like your family. They're, uh...
- 他们很特别 - 其实他们不是我的家人 我是说... - They're different. - Well, they're not my family. I mean...
我明白你的意思 Yeah, no, I get what you mean.
- 她想让他亲她 - 显而易见 - She wants him to kiss her. - Absolutely.
- 她真的想 - 有时候我觉得我是被收养的... - She does, right? - And sometimes I feel like I'm adopted...
或者是外星人还是别的什么 or an alien, you know, or something.
是的 我就是这个意思 Right. That's what I meant. Um...
不过说真的 我肯定会收养你 But also, you know, I would totally adopt you.
嗯... You know, um...
我不是想当你爸爸 我只是... Not that I wanna be your daddy. I just, uh...
- 他废话太多了 - 他不会停的 - He's talking too much. - He won't shut up.
晚安 Uh, well, good night.
- 明天见 - 好的 呃... - I'll see you. - Okay. Um...
见鬼的拥抱 Fucking hug.
好的 Okay.
那个 梅丽萨? And, uh, Melissa?
- 怎么了? - 小心熊 - Yeah? - Uh, watch out for bears.
你知道 熊总是神出鬼没的 Um, you know. Can't see them coming.
贴心的提醒 Good tip.
可怜的孩子 你应该去和他谈谈 That poor kid. Well, you should go talk to him.
谁? Who?
我说你应该去... 那你觉得是谁? I said you should go... Well, who do you think?
我? 我该说什么? Me? What the hell am I gonna say?
给他讲讲男人应该怎么做 Talk to him about guy stuff.
- 见鬼 - 这有什么难的 去就是了 - Jesus fucking Christ. - Come on, how hard is it? Just go.
- 嘿 干嘛呢? - 嘿 - Hey, man, how you doing? - Hey.
- 这有人吗? - 没有 - Anybody sitting here? - Uh, no.
好的 Well, good, good, good, good. All right.
那... So, um...
我刚才看见你和梅丽萨了 I saw what just happened with you and Melissa.
- 好吧 - 嗯... - Oh. - Um...
亲一个女孩完全没什么可怕的 You know, you don't have to be scared to kiss a girl. Heh-heh.
九个小时之前你差点给一个男的口交 这有什么好害羞的 I mean, you damn near sucked a guy's dick nine hours ago. What are you shy now for?
一点都不好笑 戴维 That's not funny, David.
不好意思 I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
不该说这破笑话 It was a bad joke. Ahem.
你想知道我在你那个年纪怎么克服 You wanna know something I used to do when I was your age...
和女孩在一起的时候的紧张吗? kept me from getting nervous around girls?
- 想知道 - 我会数到三 - Yeah. - I would just count to three.
- 数到三? - 没错 - Count to three? - Yeah.
- 这就是你所说的好建议? 数到三? - 是的 - That's your big advice? Count to three? - Yeah.
如果你想亲一个女孩或者约她出去或者... I mean, if you ever wanna kiss a girl or ask her to go out, or I mean...
无论什么情况你感到害怕 只要数到三 Actually, if you get scared of anything, just do this: just count to three...
然后放手去做 and then do it.
因为时间太久 你会想太多然后把自己逼疯 Because if you take too long, you overthink it and you'll just drive yourself crazy.
相信我 这会改变你的生活 Trust me, it'll change your life.
我猜这很有用 I guess that makes sense.
- 多谢 - 别客气 - Thanks. - Yeah. No problem.
如果你有任何... And, you know, if you have any other questions...
性启蒙方面或者... about, like, the birds and the bees...
该如何做之类的问题... who puts what into where, any of that fun stuff...
尽管问 好吗? just don't hesitate to ask, okay?
- 好的 - 好 - Okay. - Okay.
- 愉快的谈话 - 是啊 很愉快 - Good talk. - Yeah, good talk.
我的背 Oh, my back.
- 太老了 - 是啊 - So old. - Yeah.
等等 我在外边放风 你进去看 就这么定了 Wait. You go in. I'll keep a lookout, okay? Good.
去你的 这是你想出来的 你给我进去 Fuck you. This was your idea. You're going the fuck in there.
干嘛吼我? Why are you yelling at me?
我没吼你 I am not yelling at you.
好吧 Okay. Okay.
看好了 Watch.
本拉登! Bin Laden!
发生什么了? 是浣熊吗? What's happening? Is it raccoons?
天呐 God.
你说的对 伊迪丝 You were right about them, Edith.
- 不 不好意思 - 我可以解释的 - No. I'm so sorry. - Let me explain.
我们绝对可以解释清楚 This is completely explainable.
- 这是个误会 - 我们不是故意的 - A misunderstanding. - We didn't mean to do this.
- 事先声明 - 好 - You just have to understand something. - Mm-hm, mm-hm.
以前我们从没和别的夫妻做过类似的事 We have never done anything like this with another couple before.
嗯 Uh-huh.
不是对你们有偏见 我们没那么古板 That's no judgment on you. We're no squares.
- 我还买了按摩棒 - 没错 - I own a vibrator. - That's right, she does.
- 不错 - 刚开始我不喜欢它 - Awesome. - I wasn't for it at first.
因为这鬼东西是中国制造的... The darn thing's made in China, for cripes' sake...
但是结婚时间长了就想找点什么增添情趣 but when you've been married this long you look for anything to spice things up.
当然 我们也讨论过现在这种情况 So, of course we've discussed a scenario like this.
没错 而且今晚你说出那个又大又黑的"传宗接代工具" Yes. And tonight when you brought up that big black "babymaker"...
- 我们就明白了 - 一清二楚 - Well, we got it. - Loud and clear.
我们的按摩棒叫"乔·摩根" Our vibrator is named "Joe Morgan".
当然这都是你们玩剩下的 We were picking up what you were putting down.
- 彼此彼此 - 有点意思 - Same page. - Interesting.
看到这样的情形我们很高兴 不过 在这样的夜晚... We're very flattered by this, but right now, in the middle of the night...
我感觉我们还没准备好 天呐 唐 I'm not sure I'm really ready for it. Aw, Don.
明白了 完全明白了 没问题的 Got it. Totally understood. Not a problem.
我们只是问问 所以... We just had to ask. So...
等等 我有个想法 Wait. I have an idea.
好吧 也许今晚我可以向前一小步 Okay. Maybe I could take a baby step tonight.
我的嘴属于我们的婚姻 I mean, my mouth is for my marriage.
但是我之前从没摸过别的女人 But I've never touched another woman before.
我完全没有意见 I would be okay with that. Yeah.
好极了 Oh, great.
萝丝? Rose?
- 开始吧 - 好吧 我先坐下 - There you go. - Okay. All right, I'm sitting.
- 你没问题吧? - 戴维 - Are you okay? - David.
- 母亲和母亲之间 没问题吧 - "母亲" 没问题 - Mother to mother, is this okay with you? - Yes. "Mother." Yes.
- 你确定? - 开始吧 - Are you sure? - Let's get this mother started.
- 可以吗? 好的 - 哈哈哈 - Shall we? Okay. - Ha-ha-ha!
- 唐 你在看吗? - 我很好 - Okay, Don, are you watching? - I'm good.
好吧 Okay. Uh, wow.
我的心快要跳出来了 My heart's pounding so fast in my chest.
- 啊 我们这是要出轨啦 - 是吗? - Ahem. So I guess we're swinging. - Hmm? Oh, yeah.
啊 哦 Ooh. Ha, ha.
久等了 Sorry that I'm taking so long.
你好啊 Hello. Ha-ha-ha!
我会很快的 来啦 Okay, I'm just gonna do it real fast. There we go.
- 摸到了 - 就是这样 - There they are. - There they are.
- 哇! - 你做到了 - Wow! Wow! - It's happening. This is happening.
唐 你在看吗? 我真的摸到了 Don, are you looking at this? I'm touching her boobs.
- 这简直是个奇迹 - 确实是 - This is a miracle. - Okey-doke.
- 你想感受下我的吗? - 我觉得今晚已经足够了 - Would you like to feel my breasts? - I think that's enough for tonight.
- 你说的对 - 别太贪心 - You're right. - Don't give away the farm.
- 精疲力尽了? - 应该慢慢来 - A little roughhouse? - We should wait.
- 你们没有问题吗? - 没问题 - Are you okay down there? - Yeah, yeah, yeah.
玩得开心点 年轻人 Have fun tonight, kids.
- 太棒了 - 我再也不想洗手了 - Awesome. - I'm never gonna wash these hands.
姆啊, 姆啊, 姆啊! Mwah, mwah, mwah!
太感谢你了 Thank you so much.
- 晚安 今晚很棒 - 好的 拜拜 - Good night. That was great. - Okay, bye, guys.
很好 现在怎么办 小天才? Great. What now, genius?
- 你说... 怎么? - 我不知道 - Tell me... What? - Oh, Oh, oh. I don't know.
刚才在里面他干了我的耳朵 I just got earfucked in a tent.
要是让她给你指交一下 也许钥匙就到手了 If you let her finger bang you they would have given us the keys.
是吗? 你怎么不进去给唐口交... Oh, really? Why don't you go suck Don's dick for them...
这样你就能拿到钥匙了? 他明显很喜欢你那对耳垂 and then you get the keys? He was certainly loving on those earlobes.
首先 和你不同 我只会为我爱的男人口交 好吗? Okay, look. First, unlike you, I only suck a man's dick if I'm in love, okay?
这就是我做人的原则 That's kind of a personal rule I have.
- 第二... 第二... - 第二是什么? - Yeah, and secondly... And secondly... - What?
没有第二 我忘了刚才想说什么了 I don't have a second one. I don't know where I was going with that.
蠢货 Fucking idiot.
我想到了一个 Oh, I thought of one. I got one.
乔·摩根来啦 Here comes Joe Morgan up to the plate.
哦 唐 Oh, Don.
怎么了? Okay, what?
什么? 什么意思? What? What do you mean?
你想谈谈这件事... I mean do you wanna talk about it...
还是一直无精打采好像有谁踢了你的下体 or mope around like someone kicked you in the vagina?
好吧 Okay. Um...
我从没有... Well, I've never really like...
做过爱 令人震惊 Had sex before. Shocker.
亲过女孩 Kissed a girl before.
等等 真的? 我记得你说你18岁了 Wait, what? I thought you said you were like 18.
- 好吧 还是别提了 - 好吧 等等 - Okay, you know what, forget it. - Okay, okay, wait. Okay.
过来 坐下 不用这么激动 Come on. Sit down. Don't need to be so dramatic.
你没亲过女孩这没什么 Look, it's okay that you haven't kissed a girl.
我确定会有女孩... I'm sure there are some girls...
我没见过的女孩... who I've never met...
想找你这样没经验的小可爱 that find inexperience kind of sweet.
我才不想当那没经验让人亲都不想亲的小可爱 I don't wanna be a sweet, inexperienced guy who's never been worth kissing.
我想变成能迷倒女孩然后亲吻她的人 I wanna be the guy who grabs a girl and kisses her. You know?
好吧 我先声明 Okay, let me make one thing clear.
这不是那种女生亲吻男生 This isn't one of those bullshit moments where the girl kisses the boy...
然后意识到爱上了他了的情景 明白了吗? and realizes she's been in love with him this entire time, okay?
你是我的假弟弟而且你很可爱 You're my fake brother and you're a sweet kid...
这是为了让你能把梅丽萨追回来 so this is for you to bring back to Melissa.
- 什么? - 我要亲你 笨蛋 - What is? - I'm gonna kiss you, dingus.
哦 Oh.
- 你在干嘛? 闭上眼睛 - 好吧 不好意思 - What are you doing? Shut your eyes. - Okay, sorry. Right.
这样很奇怪 特别奇怪 That's weird. That's really weird.
- 对不起 - 好了 - Sorry. - All right. Ahem.
不错 这次试试用舌头 That was okay. Now more tongue.
用舌头 我可以的 Tongue. I can do that.
太过了 太过了 Too much tongue. Too much tongue.
是 太过了... 我的错 不好意思 Right. Too much... Yeah, that's my fault. My bad. Sorry.
少用舌头 Less tongue.
不错啊 That was good.
这次 我希望你能让我窒息 All right, now this time, I want you to choke me a little bit.
- 好的 - 这怎么回事? - Uh, okay. - Whoa. What's going on here?
呃... Uh, it's...
- 不是你们看到的那样 - 真的? - We're not doing what it looks like. - Really?
看起来像是凯西在教你如何亲吻 It looks like Casey's teaching you how to kiss out of pity.
恩 Mm-hm.
好吧 那就是看起来的那样 Uh, well, then it is what it looks like, yeah.
这样啊 Really.
你教他什么了 What did you teach him?
最基础的 他之前从没亲过女孩 The basics. He's never kissed a girl before.
从来没有? 好吧 来试试 You haven't? Oh. Well, honey, show me.
- 呃 你确定? - 当然 - Uh, really? - Yes.
好吧 呃... Okay. Uh...
还不错啊 Oh. Not bad.
挺好的 It's not bad.
- 试试这个 - 好的 - Try this. - Okay.
过来 Come here.
就是这样 There you go.
感觉到了? 我怎么用舌头的? You feel that? What I did with my tongue?
- 是的 女士 - 让凯西看看你学到了什么 - Yes, ma'am. - Show Casey what you just learned.
瞧瞧这个 Look at that.
哇! 不错! Mm! Whoa!
等等 Wait. Hold on.
我给你和你第一个亲吻的女孩拍张照片 I wanna get a picture of you with the first girl you ever kissed. Here you go.
- 好看点 - 好的 - Mm-hm. Make it good one. - Good.
萝丝 来一起 就是这样 拍下来 Rose. Get in there. There you go. Photobomb it.
- 有进步 越来越棒了 - 好的 - This is getting better, it's getting better. - Okay.
真可爱 It's so cute.
试着用手 很有乐趣哦 Use your hands. They got so much fun stuff to play with.
你没用手 You're not using your hands.
肯尼? Kenny?
- 不 梅丽萨... 这... - 打扰了 - No, Melissa... It's, uh... - I'm sorry.
梅丽萨 等等 Melissa, wait.
靠 Fuck.
有一半的可能她会喜欢的 You know, there's a 50-50 chance she'll be into it.
红头发的女孩 她们不可理喻 Redhead. They're crazy.
拿好你们的东西 肯尼 拿着我的行李 谢了 Grab your things, guys. Kenny, grab my stuff. Thanks.
- 我们走 - 看起来你已经准备好了 - Here we go. - Well, looks like you're ready to roll.
盖瑞跟我说 他特别希望你们尽快把车取走 Gary called me first thing. He seemed real eager for y'all to come pick her up.
- 好的 好的 - 看来就是这样 - Good. Good, good, good. Okay. - Guess this is it, then.
- 祝你好运 戴维 - 多谢了 唐 照顾好自己 - Good luck to you, David. - Hey, thank you, Don. Take care, will you?
等等 我希望昨天晚上的事... Hey, yeah, listen, I would appreciate it if you kept what happened last night...
关于中国制造按摩棒的事 只有你知我知 all that Chinese vibrator talk, between us.
- 当然 - 如果我们教堂的那帮家伙知道了... - Yeah. - If folks at my church found out about that...
当然了 不必多说 我会守口如瓶的 Yeah. Oh, yeah. No, no. I get it. Yeah. No, say no more. Mum's the word, okay?
在你走之前... Before you go running off...
- 怎么? - 尽管昨天晚上... - Yeah? - Well, last night notwithstanding...
我和菲茨杰拉德夫人 things bedroom-wise between me and Mrs. Fitzgerald...
- 床笫之间还是没那么激情 - 好吧 - haven't been a real five-alarm fire of late. - Okay.
现在我没那么多工作了 我们有时间重燃激情... Now that I'm not working as much, we finally have a chance to light the flame again...
- 就像擦着湿火柴 - 恩 - but our matches are wet. - Mm-hm. Mm-hm.
- 如果你明白我的意思 - 我明白了 - If you catch my drift. - I do, yeah.
我明白 火柴就是指老二 Yeah, the matches are genitals. I get it.
不 我是指我们之间的激情 No, I was talking about our passion.
哦 不好意思 我... Right. Sorry, sorry. Of course. That's the way...
- 没关系 - 嗯 - That's okay. That's all right. - Yeah.
所以我们一直在想办法 So we've been looking for new ideas...
她在网上看到了关于手指的某些东西 and she read on the internet about this finger thing...
- 唐 你不用和我分享这些的 - 没关系 我愿意和你分享 - Don, you don't need to share that with me. - No, no, it's okay. I want to.
好吧 只要你舒服 Okay, as long as you're comfortable.
- 我需要你的建议 -嗯 - I need your advice, David. - Mm-hm.
你和萝丝好像能在彼此的 You and Rose seem hotter for each other than a couple mice...
关系中找到许多激情 having sexual congress in a wool sock.
- 有吗? - 是的 - We do? - Yeah.
你们看对方的眼神就像新婚夫妇 You're like newlyweds, the way you keep looking at each other.
- 我们? - 我只是想知道... - We are? - Yeah. I guess I just wanna know...
这么多年在一个鱼洞里钓鱼如何能保持激情 what do you do to keep things exciting after years in the same fishing hole?
- 嗯 - 你们的秘密是什么? - Hmm. - What's your secret?
这样 Right.
- 你说的鱼洞意思是... - 女阴 - And by fishing hole you mean... - Genitals.
生殖器 这样 That's genitals. Okay. Um.
我的秘密? 嗯... Yeah, um, my secret? Uh...
你知道我怎么做吗 唐? Well, you know what I do, Don?
我只是把萝丝想象成一个脱衣舞娘 I just treat Rose like she's a stripper.
- 真的? - 真的 - No kidding? - No kidding.
就好像她是下流的脱衣舞娘 Like she's a dirty, dirty stripper.
这样啊 Okay. Heh-heh-heh.
越下流越好 Dirtier the better. Heh.
- 哈哈 - 注意脚下 - Heh, heh. - Okay, watch your step.
好神奇 激情就这么来了 It surprise... It sneaks up on you.
大家都带好行李了? Everyone got your bags?
很抱歉梅丽萨没来和大家告别 Oh. I am so sorry that Melissa isn't here to say goodbye.
她就是不肯从卧室出来 She just won't come out of that bedroom.
昨晚之后她的胃就一直不舒服 You know, she's been sick to her tummy ever since last night.
- 我想她可能吃坏了 - 请告诉她我真的很抱歉 - I think it was something that she ate. - Just tell her I'm really sorry.
- 没问题 - 唉 - Oh, sure. - Oh.
一定会的 Sure will.
多可爱的孩子 Oh, so sweet, kids.
你将永远是我的特殊情人 You'll always be my special lover.
啊! 伊迪 Ow! Oh, Edie.
拜拜! Bye!
- 美国生日快乐! - 拜拜! - Happy birthday, America! - Bye!
- 再见! - 再见 - See ya, now! - Bye-bye, now.
- 谢谢 - 拜拜 - Thank you. - Bye.
我们出发吧 你们去房车那 我去拿钥匙 Let's get out of here. You guys, go to the RV. I'll get the keys from Skeeter.
有人吗? Hello?!
布莱德 我正要给你打电话呢 Hey, Brad, I was just gonna call you.
你在哪? 你现在应该回来了 Where are you? Thought you'd be here by now.
我说了我今天就要 I told you I needed it today.
我知道 但是我的车有点问题 No, I know that. No, we just had a little bit of engine trouble's all, okay?
五分钟后我们就上路 几个小时以后到了 We're gonna be on the road in five minutes, at your front door in just a few hours, okay?
现在没什么能阻止我了 Nothing stopping us now.
这怎么了? What the fuck?
把电话给我 Hand me the phone.
布莱德 先别挂 Uh, Brad, can you hold on for a sec?
好吧 别冲动 All right, let's not do anything rash.
- 我是戴维 你是谁? - 巴勃罗·察孔 - I'm David, what's your name? - Pablo Chacon.
闭嘴 闭嘴 Shut the fuck up. Stop, stop.
- 你好啊 布莱德 - 巴勃罗! - Hola, Brad. - Pablo!
你派这个外行的傻子来偷我? You send this amateur fuck-up to steal from me?
听着 我不知道戴维跟你说了什么 有人吗? Listen, I don't know what David told you... Hello?
我还想跟他说声再见呢 I would have loved to say good-bye to him.
巴勃罗·察孔 Pablo Chacon.
原来真的有巴勃罗·察孔 而且我们偷了他的东西 Turns out there's a real Pablo Chacon and we stole from him.
也许会有个好的结局 我猜 So this is probably gonna end well, I would imagine.
我马上回来 I'll be right back.
慢慢来 No rush.
我以为我们为巴勃罗·察孔偷毒品 I thought you said we were picking up drugs for Pablo Chacon.
我也以为是 布莱德告诉我他就是巴勃罗·察孔 I thought we were. Brad told me he was Pablo Chacon.
- 你为什么相信那个家伙? - 我不相信 好吗? - Why do you trust that guy? - I don't, okay?
你们能先停五分钟吗? Can you guys stop bickering for five seconds?
好吧 可他怎么找到我们的? Okay, how did he even find us?
- 不知道 - 我不知道 - We don't know. - I don't know.
用这个 With this.
这不是发射器吗? 就好像... Cool, is that a transmitter? That's like a...
你把它放到了房车上? 在袋子里? You put that in the RV, huh? In one of the bags?
- 你怎么就没想到呢? - 因为我不知道我在做什么! - How could you not think of that? - Because I don't know what I'm doing!
- 难道你没看出来? - 都闭嘴! - Have you not figured that out? - Silence!
现在你们都要死了 You all die now.
但是一家人一起死 很荣幸 But together as a family, with honor.
可我们根本就不是个真的家庭 我根本就不认识他们 But we're not even a real family, okay? I don't even know these people.
她说的对 完全正确 我们之间根本就没有关系 She's right. That's absolutely right. No, no. We're not related at all, any of us.
不 我们只是朋友 No. We're just friends.
- 不 不是 - 我们不是朋友! - No, we're not... - We are not friends!
我只是个小毒贩 Look, I'm just a small-time fucking drug dealer.
我只卖小包的毒品 I sell dime bags, all right?
我这个女儿只是个无家可归的街头朋克 My daughter here is just a homeless gutter punk, all right?
我儿子 只是个和我住在一栋楼里的二货 我们长的一点都不像! And my son is just a fucking dork that lives in my building. We don't look alike!
- 没有关系 - 一个处男 还有我的"妻子"? - Not related. - A virgin, okay? And my "wife"?
她只是个廉价的脱衣舞娘罢了 I mean, she's just a cheap stripper.
谢了 戴维 说得好 Hey, thanks, David. Nice.
- 我们什么都不会做... -等等 - We will not do anything if... - Wait, wait. Heh.
穿紧身裤和凉鞋的那个 是脱衣舞娘? In the capri pants and the sensible footwear, a stripper?
没错 Yes.
是的 我是... That's right, I am...
察孔先生 Mr. Chacon.
请给我一个机会... Just give me one chance...
证明我活着比死了有价值 to prove to you that I'm worth way more alive than I am dead.
# 甜蜜 # # Sweet #
# 感情 # # Emotion #
# 说些没人在意的话题 # # Talk about things and nobody cares #
# 穿些没人穿的火辣外衣 # # Wearing hot things that nobody wears #
# 一些汗流浃背的知道她是个真正的骗子 # # Some sweat hog knew she's a real good liar #
# 因为后台的黑人让你的变得火热 # # Cause the backstage boogie Set your pants on fire #
# 甜蜜 # # Sweet #
# 感情 # # Emotion #
# 甜蜜 # # Sweet #
# 感情 # # Emotion #
# 你站在前面扭着小臀部 # # You stand in the front Just a shakin' your ass #
# 带你来到后台 喝我杯中的美酒 # # I'll take you backstage You'll be drinking my glass #
# 和你聊些你能听懂的话题 # # I'm talkin' about something You can sure understand #
那是你老妈 放尊重点 Have some respect, it's your mother.
快回车上! 快 快 快! Get in the RV! Go, go, go!
何必呢 何苦呢? Why are we fighting?
- 你知道怎么开吗? - 不知道 - Do you know how to drive this? - No.
凭真本事 来吧 No weapons. Here we go.
- 快点! - 我不知道怎么开 - Hurry! - I don't know how it works.
该死! Fuck!
- 发生了什么? - 我把他打晕了 我们走 - What just happened? - I knocked him out. Let's go.
- 你没有 - 我有 - You did not. - Yes, I did.
快 萝丝 快点 快点! Come on, Rose, come on. Come on!
- 小心! - 噢 不 不要 - Look out! - Oh, no, please.
肯尼! 肯尼 把方向盘给我! Kenny! Kenny, give me the wheel!
不 别跑偏了! No, do not pull over!
走这边! 不 不 不 别上高速 Go this way! No, no, no. Don't get on the freeway.
- 肯尼 让我过来 - 我不行 我要停下 - Kenny, just let me in. - I can't. I'll stop.
别停下! 你不能停下 Don't stop! You can't stop.
该死 你能放手吗? Goddamn it, will you let go?
不行 不 不 不! 你差点害我们撞死的! No, no, no, no! You're gonna get us killed!
- 好的 赶紧避开 - 我不行 - All right, just get out of the way. - I can't.
大家都还好吧? Is everybody okay?
- 你还好吧? - 我还好 怎么...? - Are you okay? - I'm fine. What...?
该死的 Fuck.
该死! Fuck!
奥! 靠! 该死 该死的... Ow! Shit! Fuck, fucking...
噢 哦! 噢 噢 噢! Ow, ow! Ow, ow, ow!
- 哦 天啊 该死的 该死的! - 他到底在干嘛? - Oh, my God. Fucking shit! Fuck! - What the hell is he doing?
见鬼! 疼死我了 Fuck a donkey! It hurts so much.
冷静下 伙计 这到底是怎么回事? Settle down, man. What the hell's going on?
哦 天啊! 我要死了 Oh, my God! I'm gonna die.
肯尼 听我说 冷静下 好吧? Kenny, listen to me. Calm down, all right?
你不会死的 告诉我们怎么回事 Not gonna die. Tell us what's going on.
- 告诉我们发生什么了 - 该死的蜘蛛咬了我 戴维! - Tell us what happened. - Fucking spider bit me, David!
- 什么? 咬在哪儿了? - 咬在我蛋上 - What? Where did it happen? - Bit me on my balls.
该死的蛋蛋上 我的蛋上! On my fucking balls. On my balls, on my fucking balls!
哦 天啊 让我看看 肯尼 让我看看 Oh, God. Let me see. Kenny, let me see it.
不行 没门 你想都别想 No. No fucking way. You're not seeing it.
拜托 你不让我看我怎么帮你 宝贝 让我看看 Come on. I can't help you unless you show me. Sweetie, just show it to me.
肯尼 能不能像个男人脱掉你的裤子? Kenny, will you just man up and drop your pants?
我们都看过老二 We've all seen a dick.
好吧 那就看吧 All right, let's see it.
怎么了? 看起来怎么样? What? What is it? What does it look like?
- 我不敢看 - 呃... - I can't look. - Um...
- 很严重吗? - 嘿 听我说 也没那么严重 - Is it bad? - Hey, listen to me. It's not that bad.
- 伙计 这很严重 - 不 没有 - Dude, it's really bad. - No, it isn't.
- 你见过这个... 看 - 我不要看 - Have you seen what that... Look. - I'm not gonna look.
- 你得去医院 - 什么? 不 没门 - You're going to a hospital. - What? No. No fucking way.
有多严重啊? How bad is it?
你没事 抹点泥上去 我们回房车上去 You're okay. Rub some dirt on it. Let's get back in the RV.
不行 你要去看医生 No. You're going to see a doctor.
不行 不 绝对不行 萝丝 No fucking way. No, absolutely not, Rose.
他不能去医院 我们没时间了 He's not going to a hospital. We don't have time.
相信我 肯尼没事 Trust me. Kenny is fine.
我的蛋失去知觉了 I can't feel my bingo.
- 该死 肯尼 - 是的 完全没事 - Goddamn it, Kenny. - Yeah. Totally fine.
- 把他扛过来 扛他去! - 如果他死了 我们就扔下他 - Go grab him. Grab him! - If he's dead, we're leaving him.
是的 我是戴维·米勒... 戴维·克拉克 还找嘉德林格先生 Yeah, this is David Mille... David Clark, calling for Mr. Gurdlinger again.
好的 我会等的 Yes, I'll hold.
谁是我的黑白小宝贝? 是的 Who's my big black and white baby? Yeah.
是你 是的 是你 You are. Yes, you are.
- 伙计 - 哦 你好 布莱德 - Yellow-ski. - Oh, hello, Brad.
你他妈去哪儿了? 我给你留了五条信息 伙计! Where the fuck have you been? I left you five messages, man!
戴维! 你还活着! 酷 发生什么了? David! You're alive! Cool. How'd that happen?
去问真正的巴勃罗·察孔 Ask the real Pablo Chacon.
我不会找借口的 I'm not gonna make excuses.
确实有点卑鄙 It was kind of a dick move.
- "有点卑鄙"? 有点卑鄙! - 一点点 - "A dick move"? A dick move! - Little bit.
一点点的卑鄙 Little bit of a dick move.
嗯 告诉你 我一英里也不走了 Well, tell you what. I'm not driving another fucking mile.
明白吗? 我要风险补贴 否则 我就掉头... All right? I want goddamn hazard pay from your ass. Otherwise, I'll turn around...
把这点大麻还有你的地址都交给察孔 and give this smidge of pot back to Chacon, along with your fucking address.
你明白吧? Do you understand me?
听起来你在威胁背叛我 Sounds like you're threatening to double-cross me.
该死的 说得对 Fucking right I am.
我现在有点想做好人 And I'm kind of turned on right now.
你确实值得风险补贴 你想要多少? You make a good case for hazard pay. How much you want?
多少? 哦 我不知道 五十万美元 How much? Oh, I don't know, half a million dollars.
- 怎么样啊? - 成交 - How about that? - Done.
该死的 好吧 成交 好的 Fucking right, it's done. Good.
但我要你今晚就到否则交易取消 But I need it here by tonight or the deal is off.
没问题 这点我可以做到 No problem. That's fine with me.
你到底在哪儿啊? Where the hell are you, anyway?
我们在该死的新墨西哥州科拉莱斯医疗中心 We're at the Corrales Regional Medical Center in Buttfuck, New Mexico.
- 为什么? - 为什么? 为什么? - Why? - Why? Why?
因为这个叫肯尼的小子 他的蛋被大蜘蛛咬了 Because this goddamn Kenny kid got his fucking nuts bit by a giant spider.
那确实太令人惊讶了 等他有超能力了你能告诉我不? That is amazing. Will you let me know if he develops super powers?
听着 伙计 赶紧 好吧? 注意时间 Listen, man, giddyup, okay? Tick-tock.
时间 好的 Tick-tock. Okay.
你好 巴勃罗 我是布莱德 Hola, Pablo. Es Brad.
好的 听我说 我想问你点事 Okay. Hear me out. I wanna ask you something.
斯科迪? 医生要见你 Scottie? The doctor will see you now.
给我发短信 姑娘 我得撤了 Text me, girl. I gotta bounce.
你懂的哈? Know what I'm saying?
哦 天啊 真的吗? 那个家伙? Oh, God. Really? That guy?
- 怎么了? 他很性感 - 好吧 - What? He's hot. - Okay.
"我得撤了" "I gotta bounce."
- 米勒家属? - 是的 - Miller family? - Yeah.
嗨 你好 你好吗? Hi. Hello, how are you?
哦 太棒了 怎么样了 医生 啊? 我们能走了吗? Oh, great. What's the news, doc, huh? Can we get going?
- 他正要告诉我们呢 - 哦 好的 - He's about to tell us. - Oh, good.
你儿子对蜘蛛毒产生了严重的过敏反应 I'm afraid your son had a pretty severe allergic reaction to the spider's venom.
哦 太糟了 赶紧带他回家吧 他在哪儿? Ooh. Too bad. Better get him home. Where is he?
他现在很疼 几个小时内他还不能离开 He's in a lot of pain right now, we won't be able to release him for a few hours yet.
- 为啥? - 戴维? 戴维 戴维! 停下 - Why? - David? David, David! Stop it.
请继续 Please. Continue.
呃 他正在注射抗生素 Uh, he's on an IV to get some antibiotics...
谁在乎啊 伙计? 好吧? 我们还有一堆烂活得做 Who the fuck cares, man? Okay? We got shit to do.
把我儿子和他那个巨大的蛋带过来 Go get my son and bring him and his giant nut out here right now.
停下 医生 谢谢 谢谢你照顾我儿子 Stop it. Doctor, thank you. I appreciate you taking care of our son.
- 非常感谢 - 当然 你看起来很像慈父 - Thank you very much. - Sure. You seem like a very caring father.
- 你他妈到底怎么了? - 什么? - What is your fucking problem? - What?!
你疯了吗? 只是几个小时 我们没事的 Are you crazy? It's only a few hours. We'll be fine.
不 我们有事 好吧? No, we're not fine. Okay?
几个小时内不到我们就死定了 你别忘了谁在跟着我们? We'll be dead in a few hours. You forget who's following us?
听着 我们这么办 好吧? Look, here's what I say we do, all right?
把他留这 我们继续走 好吧? We leave him here, and then we just keep going, all right?
你说就我们三个 把他丢下 So you're saying that the three of us, we just leave him here.
不! 不 不是丢下 绝不丢下他 是我们离开 No! No, no, no. We don't leave him here. No. Absolutely not. No, we leave...
他留下 with him here.
好吧 Okay.
你知道 要是留下肯尼 其实完全... You know, if we leave Kenny here, it really isn't...
啊 Ah.
不行 我不知道我神游何方了 那太蠢了 No. I don't know where I was going with that. That's stupid.
说真的 Seriously.
- 谁来了? - 我不知道 - What's that? - I don't know.
- 别管! 是找我的! - 什么? - Don't answer it! It's for me! - What?
怎么了 老兄? What's up, dawg?
不怎么 老兄 你要干嘛? Not much, dawg. What's up with you?
我来接凯西 你懂的哈? Here to pick up Casey, know what I'm saying?
我没傻 而且我会说英语 所以 是的 我懂的 I'm awake and I speak English, so, yeah, I do know.
- 你叫啥名 伙计? - 斯科蒂·皮 你懂的哈? 哈哈 - What's your name, man? - Scottie P , you know what I'm saying? Ha-ha.
再说一遍 我知道你在说什么 Again, I do know what you're saying.
麻烦你别在问我懂不懂了 But I appreciate you continuing to check in with me.
- 嗨! 拜 我们走吧 - 咳 等下! - Hi! Bye. We're gonna go. - Whoa, wait!
- 你要去哪儿? - 出去 - Where do you think you're going? - Out.
我刚做好午饭 I have just made lunch.
- 你什么时候回来? - 不知道 过会吧 - When are you coming back? - I don't know, later.
不! 嘿 停下! 停下 听我说 No! Hey, stop! Stop, listen to me.
等肯尼好了 我们就得走 Once Kenny is ready, we're out of here.
你回不回来我们都走 明白吗? We will leave with or without you. If you're not here, we're gone. Got it?
好的 没问题 绝对没问题 Okay, fine. That's totally fine.
等下 过来 我要和你朋友聊几句 Wait. Come here. I'd like to have a chat with your friend.
- 你在跟我开玩笑吧? - 我没跟你开玩笑 - Are you kidding me? - I am not kidding you.
请坐吧 Would you please have a seat.
怎么回事? What is going on?
所以 斯科蒂·皮 你靠什么生活? So, Scottie P., what exactly do you do for a living?
- 哦 老妈! - 我在A&J娱乐城 - Oh, Mom! - I work for A & J Amusements.
我在猴子迷宫玩摇滚的 你懂的哈? I'm rocking that Monkey Maze, you know what I'm saying?
- 猴子迷宫是什么啊? - 哦 就像是危险的禁地 - What the hell is the Monkey Maze? - Oh, it's like a terrifying deathtrap...
但只是针对小孩子 but for little kids.
你在游乐场上班 你是个演员 You're working at the fair. You're a carny.
不是 我开摩托车 No, I drive a motorcycle.
- 呃 - 呃 - Mm-hm. - Mm-hm.
好吧 Yeah.
那你们呢? 你们是从哪来的 你懂的哈? What about you guys? Where you, uh, stopping in from, you know what I'm saying?
- 呃 D城 - 底特律 - Uh, D-town. - Oh, Detroit.
不是 不 不 另一个 No, no, no. The other one.
D城 另一个D城 D-town. The other D-town.
- 丹佛...? - 是的 你猜对了 - Denver...? - That's the one. There you go.
- 科罗拉多州 - 就是那个 - Colorado. - That's the one.
是的 我喜欢落基 你懂的哈? Yeah, I love my Rockies, you know what I'm saying?
哦 你喜欢落基队? 你是棒球迷? Oh, you like the Rockies? You're a baseball fan?
- 呃 不 我是说落基山 - 当然 - Uh, no, the mountains. - Of course.
嘿 好酷的纹身 伙计 Hey, those are cool tats, man.
哦 真的 谢谢 瞧这眼镜蛇? Oh, for real. Thank you, bro. You see the cobra?
- 这是什么? 在这的? - 哦 这个? - What's this? The one right there? - Oh, this?
呃 Uh-huh.
这是我的信条 "永不后悔" That's my credo. "No ragrets."
呃 你觉得怎么样 Mm-hm. How about that.
- 你从来不后悔? - 不 - You have no regrets? - Nope.
- 一次也没有? - 不 哈 哈 - Not one? - Nope. Ha, ha.
我希望我有 说起来 I wish I did. To talk about something.
还真没有过 哈? Not one regret, huh?
我一辈子都是这样的 That's how I been living my whole life.
我去找纹身大师 我这么跟他说 I went to a tattoo artist, I was like
"我就是这样生活的 你能帮我纹上去吗?" "This how I live. Can you put that on my body?"
- 然后他就做了 - 老爸 - And he did it. - Dad.
- 一个字母都不后悔? - 没有 完全不后悔 - Not even a single letter? - No, I can't think of one.
- 我喜欢字母 你懂的哈? - 是的 - I love all the letters, know what I'm saying? - Yeah.
字母表有很多字母 有多少来? A lot of letters in the alphabet. How many?
- 二十左右 - 绝对在二十个左右 我同意 - It's in the 20s. - It's definitely in the 20s, I agree.
二十六个 如果我们算上Y的话 Twenty-six, I think, if you count Y.
- 你有问题问我们吗 斯科蒂·皮? - 老爸 - Do you have any questions for us, Scottie P? - Dad.
- 你们怎么把她生得这么漂亮? - 那是什么意思? - How did you make her so hot? - What's that?
- 呃 凯西 - 哦 你嘴真甜 - Uh, Casey. - Aw, that's very sweet of you.
他想知道我们怎么把凯西生这么漂亮 He wants to know how we made Casey so hot.
- 这 呃... - 你们得... - It's, uh... - You guys had to...
- 为什么这么问? - 互相播种 什么的? - What'd you ask us? - ...seminate, like, each other?
呃... 什么? Uh... Sorry?
- 哦 天啊 - 就是 怎么才能播种播得比较好呢... - Oh, my God. - Like, is there a way to make them, like...
让小孩很有魅力? attractive? Like, kids?
- 小狗式 明白吧? - 了解 - Doggie style. Know what I mean? - Dope.
- 老爸 - 嗯 我喜欢他 我觉得他很棒 - Dad. - Well, I love him. I think he's great.
好小伙子 如果我是你 我不用避孕套 A real winner. If I were you, I wouldn't use protection.
斯科蒂·皮 你是真正的男人 Scottie P., you're the man.
- 唷 真的 谢谢 伙计 - 我们走了 拜! - Yo, for real. Thanks, man. - We're leaving. Bye!
- 很高兴见到你 你确实厉害 斯科蒂·皮 - 你也是 - Nice meeting you. You do you, Scottie P. - You too.
凯西 一定要乖啊! Casey, make good choices!
拜托 她会很好的 Come on, she's gonna be fine.
骑摩托的纹身男孩 不戴头盔 Tattooed kid on a motorcycle, no helmet.
事实上 她可能已经怀孕了 Actually, she might already be pregnant.
难以置信 她到底跑哪儿去了? I cannot believe her. Where the hell is she?
瞧瞧啊 除了自己还会关心别人了 Look who is concerned about someone other than themselves.
什么? 我只是想尽快上路 What? I just want to get back on the road.
嗯 我知道 No, I know.
那孩子是个白痴 哈? That kid was a dickhead, huh?
- 是吧? - 你懂的哈? - Right? - Know what I'm saying?
- 哈 混球 - 不敢相信 - Ha! Jerk. - Unbelievable.
他一定是从他老妈那学的烂品味 Must get her shitty taste in men from her mother.
抱歉 让你躺枪了 I'm sorry. It was a cheap shot.
无意的 好吧? 我收回 Cheap shot, okay? I'm taking it back.
我确定你男朋友吉米人很好 I'm sure your boyfriend Jimmy is very nice.
他看起来是个好人 He seems like a very good guy.
呃 他不是 他走了 Well, he's not. He left.
透支了我所有的信用卡 卷走了我银行账户的钱... Maxed out all my credit cards, cleaned out my bank account...
逃出城了 jetted out of town.
他偷走了我最喜欢的被子 这种事都做得出来 He stole my favorite mug. Which was a pretty shitty thing to do. Even for him.
- 我很抱歉 太糟了 - 无所谓 - I'm really sorry about that. That sucks. - Whatever.
跟脱衣舞娘勾勾搭搭的能有什么好人 That's what you get for dating a guy who dates strippers.
哦 拜托 Ah, come on.
你比那个好多了 萝丝 你知道的 You're a lot more than that, Rose, and you know it.
- 怎么了? - 萝丝甚至都不是我的真名 - What? - Rose is not even my real name.
你的真名是什么? What's your real name?
萨拉 Sarah.
有"h"的? With an "h"?
是的 在最后 Yep. Right there at the end.
这么拼最好了 It's the best way to spell it.
- 我老妈就是这么想的 呵 - 呵 - That's what my mother thought. Heh. - Heh.
嗯 戴维也不是我真名 Well, David's not my real name either.
- 真的? - 我很认真 - Really? - I'm being serious.
哇 你变认... Wow. So you're being ser...
呃 那么你真名是什么? Well, so then, what's your real name?
芭芭拉 Barbara.
- 芭芭拉? - 是的 跟我老妈一样 - Barbara? - Yeah, named after my mom.
哦 所以 怎么称呼 小芭芭拉 Oh, so, what are you, like, a Barbara Jr.?
- 你是小芭芭拉 - 你猜对了 是的 - You're Barbara Jr. - You got it. Yeah, yeah.
我小学和中学的朋友叫我芭布斯 My friends in high school and grade school called me Babs.
哦 伤痕累累的童年 Oh, scarred childhood.
不全是 不全是 我是说 我当时在演音乐剧 所以还挺受尊敬的 Not really, not at all. I mean, I was in musical theater, so I was actually revered.
真有趣 Very funny.
你的头发... You have a hair...
拿下来 别在耳后? Yank, or put behind the ear?
我们可以... Guess we could...
藏到这里 tuck it back there.
哇 发生什么了? Whoa. What's going on in here?
我们要问你同样的话 小姑娘 哈? We should ask you the same thing, young lady! Huh?
- 我们担心死了 - 是的 - We've been worried sick. - That's right.
你俩干嘛这么讲话? Why are you guys talking like that?
该死 有人在吗? Shit, is someone here?
是的! 是的 我们 我们在这 我们俩在这 Yeah! Yeah, us. We're here. That's who's here.
我们会担心你是不是死在阴沟里了! We didn't know if you were dead in a ditch! Huh?
你就不能打个电话? 什么的? You couldn't have called? Something?
或者发条你总是在发的短信什么的? Or send one of those text messages you're always sending out?
"嘿 是我 凯西 我没死在沟里" 大笑 鲸鱼图片 井号 活在当下 "Hey, it's me, Casey, I'm not dead in a ditch." LOL, picture of a whale, #YOLO.
- 任何东西! - 好吧 - Anything! - Okay.
好吧! 随便吧! Fine! Whatever!
对不起 Sorry.
- 哇! - 谢谢! - Whoa! - Thank you!
- 有那么难吗? - 感谢 - Was that so hard? - Appreciate that.
- 她学会了个新词 萝丝 - 感谢上帝 "抱歉" - She learned a new word, Rose. - Thank God. "I'm sorry."
难以置信啊 Un-fucking-believable.
会变好的 It's gonna be great.
哦! 他来了 肯尼! Oh! There he is. Kenny!
- 好的 我们走 - 哦 天啊 你看起来好多了 - Okay, let's go. - Oh, my God, you look so much better.
- 是吗? - 像千元大钞 我们走 - Doesn't he? - Like a thousand bucks. Let's go.
- 拜托 我们得快点 拜托! - 别紧张! - Come on, we gotta hurry. Come on! - Take it easy!
- 能放轻松点吗? - 看 我不能... - Will you just relax?! - Look, I can't...
- 哦 太棒了 - 啊! - Oh, great. - Aah!
- 肯尼 - 我的胳膊肘 哦... - Kenny. - That's my elbow. Oh...
- 你还好吧? - 我想是 - Are you okay? - I think so.
瞧瞧 你干嘛像疯子一样狂奔 Look what happens when you run around like a crazy person.
你什么意思? 他很好 快点 肯娃 起来 我们走 What do mean? He's fine. Come on, Ken-doll, hop up. Here we go.
- 你到底怎么了? - 我怎么了? - What's wrong with you? - What's wrong with me?
- 戴维! - 听着 这活有时间要求... - David! - Look, this job has a deadline...
就在四小时后 and it's in four fucking hours.
如果你认为我会为了肯尼的这点小伤丢掉五十万美元的话... If you think I'm gonna lose half a million dollars because of Kenny's boo-boos...
- 你就疯了 - 哇 等下 - then you're out of your mind. - Whoa. Wait a second.
你干这活能赚五十万? You're making half a million dollars on this deal?
- 呃 大概吧 - 我信了你的邪 - Uh, roughly. - I cannot believe you.
听着 我可以解释 Listen to me. I can explain.
你赚五十万才给我三万? You are making $500,000 and you were only gonna pay me 30?
你能拿三万? 我才一千? You're getting 30 grand? I'm getting a thousand!
等下 你们还有钱拿? Wait, you guys are getting paid?
- 你是个骗子 - 不 不 不 - You're a liar. - No, no, no.
- 价钱必须重新谈 - 不行 没门 - We want to renegotiate. - No. No way.
- 什么? 戴维 - 不 没门 - What? David. - No. No way.
你们是跟我是一回事 我跟布莱德是另一回事 我们马上离开这 You made your deal with me, I made my deal with Brad. We're getting outta here.
看到吧? 好的 凯西明白了 别指望讲价钱 我们走 See? Good. Casey gets it. We're not renegotiating now. Let's go.
必须谈 就现在 如果没有我们你都不能到这儿 I believe we are, right now, because you wouldn't even be here if it wasn't for us.
你说得对 You're right about that.
如果不是你们拖后腿 我现在已经到丹佛了 I'd be in Denver now if it wasn't for you slowing me down.
你在胡扯什么...? 托你后腿? 你在胡说什么呢? Are you shitting...? Slowing you down? What the hell are you talking...?
哦 你要去哪儿? 嘿 嘿! Whoa, where the hell are you going? Hey, hey!
嘿 我说你要去哪? Hey, I said where are you going?
你知道吗? 你走了 你一个子儿也得不到 You know what? You leave, you get nothing.
我才不想要你的钱 好吧? I don't want your money, okay?
凯西 回来 我们得在一起 Casey, come back. We have to stay together.
- 拜托! - 为什么? - Come on! - Why?
因为我们是一家人? 啊? Because we're a family? Huh?
你还想一起过圣诞? 还帮我做功课? You want to spend Christmas together? Help me with my homework?
拜托 这整件事就是个笑话 Please. This whole thing has been a total joke.
哦 不 我告诉你什么是笑话! 你想知道...? Oh, no, I'll tell you what the joke is! You want to know what the...?
笑... The j...
我不会给你讲笑话! I'm not gonna tell you the joke!
你不配听笑话 我们走 You don't deserve to hear the joke! Let's go.
- 我不认为你会讲笑话 - 我会 - I don't think you knew the joke. - I knew a joke.
我们得找她去 We have to go back and get her.
什么? 你们在开玩笑? 她走了! 去她的 好吧? What? Are you kidding me? She left! Screw her, okay?
你到底要不要和我走 萝丝? Are you coming with me or not, Rose?
好 我会把钱塞你门缝底下 肯尼 我们走 Fine. I'll slide your check under your door. Kenny, let's go.
肯尼 快点! 我们走 伙计 Kenny, come on! Let's go, man.
我们不能丢下她 戴维 这样不对 We can't leave her, David. It's not right.
- 你知道吗? - 什么? - You know what? - What?
你们真是一路货 You all deserve each other.
大... 什...? Da... Wha...?
他会回来的 He'll come back.
是吧? Right?
唷 姑娘! Yo, girl!
- 我收到你短信了 怎么了? - 嘿 - I got your text. What's up? - Hey.
你一个人吗? Are you alone?
是的 你觉得我们找个人少的地方谈谈怎么样? Yeah. You think we can go someplace private and talk?
我正好知道个地方 你懂的哈? 呵呵 I know just the spot, you know what I'm saying? Heh-heh.
- 好点了 - 看 你没跟上我的节奏 - A little better. - See, you're not in synch with what I'm doing.
我正在弹大调音阶 好吧 那就降下来 I'm just playing a major scale, but, um, we can move it down.
- 降个调 - 扯什么音阶啊 - Let's move it. - Shitty scale.
闭上你的臭嘴 Stop talking. Just shut the fuck up.
- 嘿 什么事? - 嘿 布莱德 - Hey, what's up? - Hey, Brad.
我正在跟我哥们本·福斯学唱歌 I'm just getting some singing lessons from my main man Ben Folds Five.
- 是吧 本·福斯五世? - 我的名字是本·福斯 - Ain't that right, Ben Folds Five? - My name is Ben Folds.
"五"是乐队的名字 "Five" is the name of the band.
真有意思 我喜欢 You're fucking with me. I love it.
你应该见见他 本记乐队就是个笑话 You gotta meet this guy. Benji Five is a laugh riot.
还记得以前我们常听的那首歌"砖头"吗? Remember that song "Brick" we used to listen to?
她就像一块砖头 拉着我下沉 She's a brick and I'm drowning slowly
就是... 我... 我找到唱这首歌的人了 It's... I've got... It's that guy. I fucking got that guy.
他现在是我的私人老师 He's like my personal bitch.
- 怎么了 出什么事了吗? - 没有 - Listen, is everything okay? - Yeah.
没事 一切都很好 Yeah, yeah. Uh, things are fine.
我还差200英里 三小时后就到了 好吗? I'm about 200 miles away. I'll be there in three hours, all right?
- 好的 待会见 - 该死的混蛋 - All right. Peace. - Agh, fucking asshole.
音阶什么的 来吧 Scales. Let's do this.
真他妈见鬼 This gig sucks.
别这么跟我说话 小心我干掉你 Don't talk to me like that. I will have you killed.
没人会想念你那些怪腔怪调的 And no one will miss your fucking nerd music.
距丹佛市199英里 距科泉市128英里
# 周日 周日! # # Sunday, Sunday, Sunday! #
很好 很吵 Great. That's loud.
我知道你想干嘛 收音机 Yeah, nice try, radio. Nice try. Heh.
好了 Okay. Ahem.
专心开车 Let's get there.
呼 Hoo.
好安静 Quiet.
我现在明白了 And I knew better too.
但那一路上... But we were all on the road together...
我们过得很开心 and it got kind of fun, you know?
嗯 我懂 Yeah. Uh-huh.
我以为我们会... And I started thinking of us as kind of like this...
管它的呢 我太傻了 Whatever, it's stupid.
- 他们去死吧 - 嗯 去死吧 - Fuck them. - Yeah, fuck them.
妹子 现在好了 斯科蒂·皮会让你开心的 你懂的哈? Yo, right now, girl, Scottie P. is gonna make you feel real good, know what I'm saying?
- 哈哈 - 哦 - Ha-ha. - Uh, heh.
不好意思 我心情有点糟... I'm sorry, I'm just feeling kind of cry-ey and that...
- 我得走了 - 别这样 - I'm just gonna go, okay? - Come on, girl.
- 是你给我发的短信 是你叫我来的 - 斯科蒂 - You texted me. You know what's up. - Scottie.
嘿! Hey!
把你的脏手拿开! Get your hands off of her!
快过来 凯西 Come here, Casey.
你再敢动她一根手指头... You put your hands on her again...
我就把那个纹身从你的身上撕下来 I will rip that fucking tattoo right off of your chest.
听见了吗? You know what I'm saying?
- 真的吗 贱人? - 是的 贱人 - Oh, really, bitch? - Yeah, bitch.
干嘛要欺负女士们呢 You know what? Why don't you leave the girls alone, man.
你有意见吗 扫把眉? What are you gonna do, eyebrows?
一... One...
二... two...
啊! 我鼻子流血了 Ow! Broke my nose!
你是个疯女人 你懂的哈? You're an aggressive woman. Know what I'm saying?
你还好吧? Are you okay?
我没事 太厉害了 你把他揍扁了! I'm fine. That was awesome. You fucking decked him!
工作时候我常遇到这样的混蛋 I've dealt with handsy assholes like him at work.
我们走吧 Let's just get out of here.
谢谢你帮忙 但为什么数数? Thanks for the backup. Why the counting?
要想揍别人 你就直接一拳挥上去 If you're gonna punch someone, punch them on one.
戴维让我数数的 Well, David told me to count.
戴维? 戴维从来没打过架 David? David hasn't punched anybody ever.
出口在这边 I think this Way. Exit.
我回来啦 I have returned.
哈哈 事情是这样的 Ha-ha-ha. So here's what happened, okay?
我一个人行驶在大马路上 心想我要发财了 I'm out on the open road, just by myself, right? And I'm just beelining it to a huge payday.
但我突然觉得: 一个人好无聊啊 And I start to realize something: it's boring in here.
所以我想 "你知道怎么做吧 兄弟?" So I thought, "You know what you gotta do, dummy?"
"还是回头去把那几个蠢货接上吧" "You gotta turn this RV around and go back and get those dip sticks."
我开玩笑的 你们不是蠢货 Heh. I'm just kidding, you're not dip sticks.
我们一起回家怎么样? 走吧 What do you say we go home? Come on, let's go.
嘿 戴维? 去死吧 Hey, David? Go fuck yourself.
嗯...? 哈! Uh...? Ha!
"去死吧" "你才去死" "Go fuck yourself." "You go fuck yourself."
萝丝说 "是你去死" 然后肯尼说 "我才不会去死" Rose, you say, "Go fuck yourself." Then Kenny's like, "I don't want to fuck anybody."
我好想念那些吵吵闹闹 This is what I miss, right? The Ping-Pong action, the repartee.
走吧 我们走吧 开着房车回家 Come on, guys. Let's get out of here, go home. Get in the RV, go home, get out of here.
走了 出发吧! Come on, let's go!
- 嘿 等等 你们去哪啊? - 你有没有搞错? - Whoa, hey, hold on. Where you going? - Are you serious?
听着 好吧 Look, look, look. Okay.
我明白你们的意思 I know what this is about, and I get it.
我们平分这五百万 All right? We're gonna split the $500,000.
我们四个人 平分 Evenly. Betwixt the four of us.
好不好? 肯尼 你肯定会这样: "噗!" You guys get what I'm saying here? Kenny, you wanna be like this: "Pfft!"
就像你玩的... 是吧? 很多游戏里都这样 Like you're from... right? That's a lot of video games, kiddo.
凯西 你可以买座房子 然后再离家出走 All right, Casey, you can buy a house, and run away from it.
对吧? 反正就是 你分到十二万五千 You know what I mean? Like, whatever. You get $125,000.
你分到十二万五千 You get $125,000.
你分到... 我简直就是奥普拉 是吧? You get a... I mean, I'm like fucking Oprah here. You know?
我是白人版本的她 哈 If she was a white dude at a carnival. Heh.
来吧 我们开着房车... Come on, guys. Let's get in the RV...
回到丹佛市拿到钱 我们就发财了 and take our butts back to Denver where we're gonna be rich and we're gonna get paid.
- 走吧 - 戴维 听我说 - Come on, come on. - Uh, David, listen.
是你拐带了我们 又抛下我们 You misled us. You left us.
然后你蹦蹦哒哒地回来了... 我不知道你怎么回事... And then you come waltzing back in here all... I don't know what the hell that was...
你想让我们就这么忘了那些事情 and you just expect that we all just forget about it.
你有没有搞错? What's wrong with you?
我们还怎么相信你? How do we trust you?
好吧 你们想怎么样? 让我求你们吗? Okay, look, what do you want? Do you want me to beg?
孩子们? 你们怎么想的? Kids? What do you think?
- 那样确实能让我好受些 - 我也觉得 - That would make me feel a lot better. - Works for me. Sure.
你们开玩笑吧 You're joking.
什么...? Wha...?
你们真的想让我跪下来? 求你们? You really want me to get on my knees? And beg you?
正好我穿着下跪专用裤 It's a good thing I'm wearing my begging pants.
通常我只在滚床单之前才这么做 I usually only do this before sex.
好了 好了 我这就跪 别走 Okay, okay, I'm going, I'm going. Please, please.
嗯 这样可以了吧 Ahem. Let's do it. Here we go.
好了! 上车 我们走 Okay! To the RV, let's go.
走吧 孩子们 Come on, Babs.
哇 等等我 这里小丑好多 Whoa, whoa. Slow down. There's clowns everywhere.
嘿 小心气球 Here, let Pops get in here.
就是这里 我把它停在房车旁边 We're right down here. I parked it next to an RV.
- 梅丽萨 - 肯尼 - Melissa. - Kenny.
- 萝丝! - 伊迪 - Rose! - Edie.
- 该死 - 该死 - Shit. - Shit.
我还是学不会那么说话 I never get used to that language.
你们他-妈-的怎么在这里? What in the H-E-L-L are you people doing here?
嗯... Uh... Uh, uh...
- 我们是来看焰火表演的 - 是的 焰火表演 - We came to see the fireworks. - Yeah. Fireworks.
我们也是! 真是太巧了! 表演肯定会很精彩 Us too! That's so weird! They're supposed to be amazing here.
- 梅丽萨 我们能谈谈吗? - 不 - Melissa, can we talk? - No.
- 妈 我们走吧 - 梅丽萨! - Mom, come on, let's go. - Melissa!
怎么这么没礼貌? Why are you being so rude?
你大姨妈来了吗? 要不要棉条? Do you have your period? Do you need a tampin?
妈 我不要棉条 我只是不想看到他们 Mom, I don't need a tampin. I don't want to be near these people.
- 肯尼 我们走吧 - 嗯 我们该走了 - Kenny. Let's go. - We should get out of here.
- 昨天晚上的事情证明我以前看错你们了 - 哦 天啊 - What happened last night comes out I was wrong. - Oh, boy.
天啊 她知道了 Oh, my God, she knows.
我女儿知道了我们的事 My daughter knows what we've done.
是的 梅丽萨 我不应该摸米勒太太的咪咪 Melissa, yes, it was wrong of me to fondle Mrs. Miller's breasts.
你是对的 但我也不能否认那样做给我带来了快感 You're right. I'm not gonna deny that it gave me a certain amount of pleasure.
其实你爸爸和我早就不再那么亲密了 That said, your father and I are struggling with some serious intimacy issues.
停 别说了! Okay, no, stop!
我不像以前那么紧了 I'm not as tight as I once was.
- 听着... - 他总是滑出来 - Look... - He just falls right out.
就像走廊里的一根热狗 It's like throwing a hot dog down a hallway.
哦! 你到底在说什么? Ew! What are you talking about?
昨天晚上 我看到肯尼和他姐还有他妈亲热 而他爸爸在一边看着 I saw Kenny making out with his sister and mother while their dad watched.
什么? 哦 天啊...! What? Oh, my...!
- 事情不是那样的 - 有些情况你不了解 - It wasn't quite like that. - That's not exactly what happened.
萝丝不是我妈 她不是我姐 我们不是真的一家人 Rose isn't my mom, she's not my sister. We're not a real family.
别说了 儿子! 你在说什么呢? That's enough, son! What are you saying?
他喝多了 他在胡言乱语 别听他的 He's been drinking. It's hard to understand. He's being ridiculous.
戴维雇我们帮他走私毒品 David hired us to help him smuggle drugs across the border.
你们是毒贩? You're drug dealers?
不! 我们是毒品走私贩 这不一样 No! No, we're drug smugglers. There's a difference.
这有什么不一样 There's not a difference.
听我说 伊迪 听我解释 Okay, Edie, we can explain, all right?
这里面有个小误会 真的 This is a small misunderstanding. It really is.
他说"走私贩"的时候 根本不知道自己在说什么 When he says "smuggle," he doesn't know what he's saying.
- 不是毒品 - 他都不知道毒品是什么 - It's not drugs. - He doesn't know what drugs are.
真的 其实是龙舌兰酒 Seriously. It's just a little tequila.
什么? What?
哦 我的天! Oh, my God!
- 嘿 谢天谢地 你没死 - 他有枪! - Hey. Ah, thank God you're alive. - He's got a gun!
听我说! 嘿 嘿 别这样! 等一下! Listen! Hey, hey, hey. No, no! Wait, wait, wait!
这下有趣了! This is gonna be fun!
我还是有点本事的 I still got it.
唐也是坏蛋啊 Don's a badass.
哦 唐 Oh, Don.
梅丽萨 快去报警 Melissa, go find a police officer.
好了 唐 听我说 Okay, Don. Don, listen to me.
不 你走私毒品 戴维? No. Drug smuggling, David?
我还以为我们是坦诚相见的朋友 And to think of the moment we shared in that tent.
不 唐 还有一个人 No, Don, there's another guy.
我才不想听你的感情经历! I don't want to hear about other men in your life!
什么? 不! 不! 是还有个人想要杀我们! What? No! No, no! No! There's another guy trying to kill us!
什么? 谁? What? Who?
是我 巴勃罗·察孔 Pablo Chacon.
巴勃罗·察孔 Pablo Chacon.
晚上好 米勒一家 Buenas noches, Millers.
他说什么? 什么意思? What is he saying? What does that mean?
就是一句墨西哥问候语 It's a familiar Mexican greeting.
那个穿着短裤留着小胡子的 把枪给我 You in the short jeans and the funny mustache, give me the gun.
梅丽萨 Melissa.
还有杯子 And the mug.
求你不要伤害她 Please don't hurt her.
- 给你们 - 你还好吧? 没事了 - Take her. - Are you okay? It's okay.
把车钥匙给我 Now the keys, please.
给你 给你 Here. Here, here, here.
好了 你拿到毒品了 没必要杀我们了 Okay, great. You have your drugs, so you don't have to kill us.
哦 没必要杀你们 是吗? Oh, I don't have to kill you, huh?
你们偷走了我的毒品 You take my drugs.
你们让我穿过边境来到这个鬼地方 You make me cross the border into this fucked-up country.
你们用蒸汽烧我的脸! You try to burn my face with steam!
- 抱歉 - 你们毁了我的车! - I'm sorry. - You destroy my car!
而且我不喜欢每次你们都这样对待我的小伙伴 And I don't like what you do to my man every time we meet.
你们是我见过最差劲的一家人 You are the worst family I've ever met.
但你们说得对 我没必要杀你们 But, you're right, I don't have to kill you.
但我想杀了你们 I want to kill you. All of you.
住手 Stop. Stop.
别这样 不要伤害他们 Don't do this. Don't kill these people.
这都是我的错 这些都是我干的 我是毒贩 This is all my fault. I'm the one that did this. I'm the drug dealer here.
他们只是无辜的一家人... These people is just an innocent family...
碰巧出现在这里 in the wrong place at the wrong time. Okay?
而这个孩子? And this kid?
这个孩子是我这辈子见过最勇敢的人 This kid's got the biggest fucking heart I've ever seen in my life.
我很幸运有他这样的朋友 And I'm lucky to call him a friend.
一个小时之前 为了你我可以杀了这个女孩 Man, an hour ago, I would have killed this girl for you.
但她很坚强 而且比我聪明百倍 But she's tough as hell. And a lot smarter than me.
而这位 And this one.
你 萨拉 You. Sarah.
你是我认识的最坚强的女性 You're the strongest woman I've ever met.
你还是个好妈妈 And you'd make a great mom.
我爱他们每个人 I love all of them.
别杀他们 Don't kill them.
求你了 Please.
杀了我吧 Just kill me.
- 那好吧 我有个主意 - 说吧 - Tell you what, I'll make a deal, okay? - Okay.
我先杀了你 这样你就不用看着你的家人死掉了 I kill you first so you don't watch your family die.
戴维 David.
肯尼! 你太棒了! Kenny! That was amazing!
我想是我教他的 I'd like to think I taught him that.
- 嗯 - 是我教他的 - Mm. - I know I taught him that.
把你的舌头收回去 小伙子 Put that tongue back in your mouth, young man.
哦 Oh.
哇 Wow.
- 你的吻技比我姐姐好多了 - 嘿! - You kiss a lot better than my sister. - Hey!
- 一 二 三 - 嗯 - One, two, three. - Mm-hm.
察孔先生 我代表美国联邦政府... Well, Mr. Chacon, on behalf of the United States of America...
欢迎你来到我们的国家 I'd like to welcome you to our country.
坐好了 Grab a seat.
不好意思 你体会不到我国的自由了 Sorry you won't get to experience the freedom part.
唐 你是我的英雄 Don, you're my hero.
你今晚可以用上那些扎带 I want you to use those zip ties tonight.
给你 Here.
谢谢 戴维 Thank you, David.
- 我们要走了 - 别着急 - We're gonna go. - Not so fast.
- 不要这样 唐 - 爸 求你了 - Oh, no, Don. - Dad, please.
别说话 姑娘们 Girls, hush.
我相信你们是好人 I believe that you are good people.
但你们触犯了法律 But you broke the law. All of you.
更过分的事 你们让我妻子和女儿陷入了危险 And worse than that, you put my wife and daughter's lives in danger.
- 对不起 - 所以我必须逮捕你们 - Sorry. - Gonna have to place you under arrest.
- 唐 为什么? - 不要这样 爸 - Don, why? - No, Dad, don't.
我马上逮捕你们... And I'm gonna do just that...
让我先转过身... right after I turn around...
拥抱一下我的家人 and hug my family.
戴维 走吧 David, come on.
都拿来了! It's all here!
我都惊呆了 戴维 干得好 I am blown away, David. Great job.
但你回来晚了 But it's late.
截止日期是昨天晚上 所以抱歉了兄弟 没有报酬 Deadline was last night, so, sorry, buddy, no deal.
布莱德 为了帮你我差点送命 两次呢 Brad, I almost got killed over this shit. Twice.
我可不是不讲究的人 我拿到了两吨上好的大麻 I'm not gonna be an asshole about this. I got two tons of premium weed.
是的! 而且你害察孔被抓起来了... Yes! And you got Chacon pinched in the process...
- 布莱德队大获全胜 - 嗯 - which is a huge win for team Brad. - Mm-hm.
所以我们握一下手 算是扯平了 So how about we shake hands and call it even.
- 你本就没打算给我报酬 是吧? - 哦! 答对了 加十分 - You were never gonna pay me, were you? - Oh! Bingo. Heh-heh.
这样做混蛋吗? 我也不知道 Was that a dick move? I can't even tell anymore.
- 冲! - 快! 快! - Move! - Go! Go! Go!
- 趴下 趴下! - 趴在地上! 不许动! - Down, down, down! - Get on the ground! Freeze!
安全! Clear!
你出卖了我 You double-crossed me.
有点混蛋 是吧? Kind of a dick move, right?
你没有证据的! You got nothing on me!
没有 Nothing at all.
哦 天啊! 看看谁来了 Oh, shit! Look at this guy.
谁把50美分请来了? Who let in 50 Cent?
- 干得不错 戴维 - 谢谢夸奖 唐 - Nice work, David. - Thank you, Don.
虽然你没有拿到钱... Now, I know you don't get your money...
但是做正义之事会让你更加满足的 but doing the right thing had to feel a whole lot better.
没有 No.
好吧 是有一点满足 All right, maybe a little bit.
我们说好的 作为你揭发察孔和嘉德林格的奖励... As promised, in exchange for your testimony against Chacon and Gurdlinger...
我们会把你作为证人保护起来三到六个月 we have to keep you in witness protection for three to six months.
- 只保护我? - 是的 - Just me? - Just you.
哦 还保护这个案子的其他几个证人 Oh. And any other witnesses to the crime.
- 给你吧 - 我不管 - There you are. - I don't care.
- 看看这个网络达人 - 抹点泥行了 - Look at this hot nerd. - Rub some dirt on it.
- 你在弄什么? - 看吧 - What are you doing? - Look at this.
你得让凯西别再上传这些视频了 这个点击量都有一百万了... You gotta tell Casey to stop posting this stuff. It's already got a million hits...
还在增长 and growing.
好吧 我午饭之后就和她说 你知道吗? Okay, okay, I'll tell her after lunch. Oof, you know what else?
从上面看你跑光了 I can see down your tank top.
- 嘿 你好 - 嘿 - Hey there. - Hey.
- 认识一下吧 我叫丹 - 你好 丹 - Wanted to introduce ourselves. I'm Dan. - Hey, Dan.
这是我妻子 凯斯 我们刚搬到这里 This is my wife, Kathy. We just moved in.
- 你好 - 我们是约翰逊一家 - Hello. - We're the Johnsons.
太好了 欢迎你们 Oh, great. Welcome to the neighborhood.
嘿 过来一下 Hey, guys. Come here.
认识一下新邻居 Come meet our neighbors.
我叫戴维 I'm David.
这是我的家人 And this is my family right here.
我儿子 肯尼 This is my son, Kenny.
我女儿 凯西 My daughter, Casey.
- 还有我妻子 萨拉 - 很高兴认识你们 - And this is my wife, Sarah. - Nice to meet you.
- 我们是米勒一家 - 很高兴认识你们 - We're the Millers. - Ah. Pleasure.
谢谢你们的问候 多保重 Thanks for saying hi. All right, take care now.
- 改天见 - 再见 - See you soon. Bye. - Bye.
- 我不喜欢他们 - 我也不喜欢 - I don't like them. - I don't like them either.
干嘛要介绍自己? 你算是哪根葱? Why introduce yourself? I mean, who the fuck are you?
真不敢相信 竟然安排我们住郊区 I can't believe this. We're stuck in the suburbs.
糟透了 我熬不到审讯结束了 我要赶紧离开这鬼地方 Now, this sucks. I can't wait for the trial to be over. Gotta get outta here.
冒牌家庭
永远都要坚持 Stick to the big A.
- 走菊花 - 或者禁欲 - Anal. - Abstinence, you meant.
- 这两种都不会有孩子 - 他弄混... - Neither makes a baby. - He confuses...
你们都应该拿奥斯卡奖! Oscars! For all of you!
谢谢你 但我们可不会演戏 That's very nice of you, but we're not that good of an actor, no.
- 他们在欺负那个女孩 - 在哪? - Those guys are picking on that girl. - Where?
- 我永远都不会忘掉这个片段 - 什么? - I'll never forget these moments in this movie. - What?
- 希望你也不会忘 - 哈哈 - And I hope you don't either. - Ha-ha-ha.
开始 And, action.
两个壮汉才能拉开这个冰箱门 It takes two men to open this mini-fridge.
啊! Aah!
真的太紧了! It's literally so hard!
- 好吧 你们真是... - 哈哈哈! - Okay, you guys, seriously, you're mak... - Ha-ha-ha!
看到没 Look, look, look.
- 哈哈! - 别欺负姑娘们 - Ha, ha! - Leave the girls alone.
你有意见吗 雀斑脸? 你有意见吗 唐·诺茨?(好莱坞著名演员 常演硬汉) What are you gonna do, freckles? What are you gonna do, Don Knotts?
你有意见吗 虚张声势的臭小子? What are you gonna do, guy with great posture?
啊! 我鼻子流血了! Ow! Broke my nose!
我有恐血症 你懂的哈? I'm terrified of blood, you know what I'm saying?
你把我的鼻腔隔膜打碎了 你懂的哈? You just deviated my septum, you know what I'm saying?
我需要创可贴 Uh, I want a Band-Aid.
- 关门了? - 明早才能开门 - Closed? - They're closed. Till morning.
奥克拉荷马人啊 真糟糕 Oklahoma. Oh, poop.
奶酪上有老鼠 圆木里爬满蚂蚁 Cheese and rice. Ants on a log.
冰棍上有苍蝇屎 哦 还有鸡粪 Poop on a Popsicle. Oh, cock marbles.
- 哦 该死的 - 哈哈 - Oh, fuck. - Ha-ha-ha.
它卡在那里... It just stopped at a certain point...
不管怎么塞也不进去 and you just couldn't insert it any more.
我就像一个老二粉碎机一样 Well, I just looked like I had, like, a Stormtrooper dick.
所以我... 好吧 就是这样 So I'm just gonna... there we go. There they are.
真不可思议 This is crazy.
你的咪咪手感真是 真是太棒了 Those are just gorgeous, gorgeous, gorgeous breasts.
咔! 拍好了 Cut! All right. Cut.
- 开始 - 哇! - And, action. - Whoo!
- 来点胜利的小曲 怎么样? - 好的 - How about a little victory music, shall we? - Yes, please.
- 我喜欢这首歌! - 太棒了! - I love this song! - This is awesome!
# 你工作很差 又没有钱 还被人甩了 # # You're job's a joke, you're broke. Your love life's D.O.A. #
# 但我支持你 # # I'll be there for you #
# 就算下了大雨 # # When the rain starts to fall #
# 我也会为你撑伞 # # I'll be there for you #
# 因为你给我力量 # # 'Cause you're there for me too #
唱得不错 That was really good.
很有趣 That's very funny.
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-=圣城家园SCG字幕组 http://hd.cnscg.com/=- 协调: 景鲤 翻译: sharefans_笨 初见 yjk8654 感冒吃多了药的小贝 校对: 有个饭团 Mabb
冒牌家庭 剧终
再见了 米勒一家 Adios, Millers.