字幕转制｜天外生物 感谢原字幕制作者
妈的！ Shit!
我们被邀请去参加亨利 葛罗斯基的儿子的婚礼 We were invited to Henry Grotsky's son's wedding.
我们被邀请去参加亨利 葛罗斯基的儿子的婚礼？ We got invited to Henry Grotsky's son's wedding?
是啊 你怎么用这样的说活方式？ Yeah. Why are you saying it like that?
我为什么用某个人的说话方式 Why am I saying it the way someone
某个刚被邀请去参加 who was just invited to the wedding...
一个他几乎不认识的家伙的孩子的婚礼的人？ of the child of a guy he barely knows would say it?
我们要去 嗯 嗯 We're going. Mmm-mmm.
这个地方没有我们 周末会很好 This place will be fine without us for a weekend.
不 不去 No. Not going.
杰瑞你是个白痴总统 Jerry, you're the president of idiots.
碧娜你是那个傻瓜 投给我票 让我进入办公室 Bina, you're the dummy who voted me into office.
好吧 你被弹劾了 太晚了 我辞职不干了 Okay, impeached. Too late. I resign.
哈哈！ Ha-ha!
我比你先 I was first.
这对你来说是一件大事 亲爱的 This could be a great thing for you, sweetie.
听着 那是在一位朋友的婚礼上 Look, it was at a friend's wedding
你爸爸和我第一次来电 that your dad and I first got it on.
打开门 我想给你看一些东西 Open the door, I want to show you something.
我赤裸裸地在这里 所以… I'm flat-out naked in here, so...
仁佐 艾克柏格你的鸡鸡没有什么可羞愧的 Renzo Eckberg, your manhood is nothing to be ashamed of.
你的鸡鸡是上帝的荣耀 Your manhood is a glory to God.
打开门缝 我会扔进来 Open the door a crack, I'll fling it in.
也许你会遇上你生命中的爱情 This could be how you meet the love of your life.
女孩在婚礼上总是那么醉醺醺和多愁善感的 Girls are always so drunk and emotional at weddings.
也许那就是你真正闪耀的地方 Maybe that's where you'll really shine.
我是否在守丧也去闲逛？ Should I start hanging out at wakes too?
哦 让我们先看看 婚礼上的情况 Oh, let's see how the wedding goes first.
你有封信 You got a letter from someone.
对此我很惊讶 I'm pretty surprised about it.
我不知道 你还认识自由世界的人 I didn't know you knew anyone in the free world.
好孩子 Good boy!
哦 谢谢你 铃戈 Why, thank you, Ringo.
哦 老天 Oh, my!
哦 铃戈！ Oh, Ringo!
我 弗兰西… I, Francie...
把你 道格拉斯作为 Take you, Douglas, as you are...
相爱相敬 To love and to cherish...
不离不弃 to have and to hold...
直到死亡把我们分开 Until death do us part.
弗兰西 米勒 道格拉斯 葛罗斯基 手牵着手 Frances Millner, Douglas Grotsky, take hands.
现在你可以接吻 成为夫妻了 You may now kiss as husband and wife.
婚宴桌牌19号
两英里后 我们快到那里了 Two miles later, we're almost there.
你好 Hi.
噢 我的老天爷 Oh, my God.
倒霉 Shit.
你们看起来不错 女士们 就在这里 You look good, ladies. Right here.
我会在那里面见到你们 I'll see you in there.
你好 嘿 Hi. Hey.
你在这里 那是… You're here. That's c...
嗯 Mmm-hmm.
你为什么在这里？ Why are you here?
和你一样 Same as you.
因为我是我妹妹婚礼上伴郎 Because I'm the best man at my sister's wedding.
好吧 Okay-
那么 就是根本不一样的了 So it's not the same at all.
哦 我的天啊 只是… Oh, my God, just...
玩得开兴！ Have fun!
哦 狗屎 Oh, shit.
别让我再恳求 Don't you make me beg for more
给点提示 我得知道 Give a sign, I need to know
我希望我可以在那里成为你的同伴 亲爱的 I wish I could be there to be your wingman, honey.
是否你把一个女孩逗笑 Whether you get a girl to smile
或者她是否逃跑 一切都很好 or whether she runs away, it's all good.
我得挂了 有人在这里 Gotta go, someone's here.
你好 Hello.
我是弗兰西 米勒的第一个保姆 I'm Francie Millner's first nanny,
娇 法兰妮根 Jo Flanagan.
娇这字是由女字旁和乔组成 That's Jo with a J and an O and no
我是仁佐 仁爱的仁 巡佐的佐 I'm Renzo. With an E and an O and no
你看上去很紧张 仁佐 You have an intense look about you, Renzo.
谢谢 我正在努力解决这个问题 Thank you. I'm working on that.
你好 Hi.
碧娜和杰瑞 克普 你好 Bina and Jerry Kepp, hello.
哦 耶稣基督 Oh, Jesus Christ.
华特 Walter.
你好 罗杰 很高兴见到你 Hello, Roger. Nice to see you.
非常感谢你邀请我 Thank you so much for inviting me,
这真的意味着很多 it really means a lot.
非常感谢你 我没有邀请你 Thank you so much. I didn't invite you.
是弗兰西做的 Francie did.
好的 我真的以为 Okay. I honestly thought
他们不会让你离开这国家 they wouldn't let you travel out of state.
嗯 你知道 Well, you know.
你好！谢谢你邀请了我 Hello! Thank you for inviting me.
非常感谢你的光临 Thank you so much for coming.
我想我们以前从未 I don't think we've ever been
和一位保姆一起坐在一张接待桌上 at a reception table with a nanny before.
我们有吗 杰瑞？ Have we, Jerry?
只有非常好 Only very good
或非常差的保姆 or very bad nannies
在过了这么多年以后 还被记得 are remembered so many years later.
你是属于哪一个？ Which one are you?
你们是换妻俱乐部的吗？ You guys swingers?
不 你们不是 对吗？ 不 No, you're not. Right? No.
仁佐 接电话 仁佐 接电话 Renzo, pick up the phone-Renzo, pick up the phone.
你没有要求一张全是单身汉的桌子？ Did you not request a singles' table?
因为到目前为止 选择很少 Because so far, it's slim pickings.
在那请柬上 你自己把它放在那里 It was on the RSVP. You put it there yourself.
请原谅我 Pardon me.
你怎么这么肯定 你不在一张单身汉的桌子上？ And how are you so sure you're not with the singles?
如果在你的桌子上有几对夫妻的话 If there are couples at your table,
他们可能是所谓的“换妻俱乐部”成员 they could be what's called swingers.
你们跟新娘和新郎有多熟悉 凯普先生？ How well do you know the bride and groom, Mr. Kepp?
嗯 我在这里都能闻到厕所的味道 Hmm. I can smell the toilets from here,
这就是我们跟新娘和新郎的熟悉程度 that's how well we know the bride and groom.
别听他的 他不是个浪漫的人 Don't listen to him, he's not a romantic.
这是一张很棒的桌子 This is a great table.
这很棒 It's a great one.
嗯 不 它不是 是的 它是的 Mmm. No, it isn't. Yeah, it is.
是的 它是 不 它不是 Yes, it is. No, it isn't.
嗯 我们看着吧 好的 Well, we'll see. Okay.
你好 对不起的 Hello. Sorry.
那里有人坐了 抱歉 Someone's sitting in that. Sorry.
抱歉 我很抱歉 Sorry. I'm sorry.
这位置可以吗？ Is this one okay?
是的 没有人的 Yeah. No one's...
我叫华特 My name is Walter.
我听得出你的口音 I can tell by your accent
你一定是新娘的父亲那边的亲戚 you must be a relation to the bride's father.
关系很亲密？ Close relation?
是的 Yes.
你是做什么的 华特？ So what do you do, Walter?
我做什么 What do I do...
做什么工作？ For work?
- 别管它 - 为什么不能问这个？ - Leave it alone. - Why can't a person ask that?
是的 我想知道 Yeah, I'd like to know.
好的 那么 好的 Okay, then. Okay.
她也想知道的 She'd like to know.
那么 华特 你是干什么的？ So, Walter, what is it that you do?
我是一个成功的商人 I am a successful businessman.
哦 好的 Oh. Okay.
- 好的 那好的 - 嗯 - Okay, then. - Hmm.
嗯 Mmm-hmm.
是什么业务？ What kind of business?
对不起 你介意吗？ Sorry, do you mind?
所以 忘了已婚的人吧 So, forget the married people.
去和那保姆跳舞 Dance with the nanny.
好莱坞的婚姻总是因为保姆而破裂 Hollywood marriages bust up all the time because of the nanny.
你知道什么 仁佐？ And you know what, Renzo?
即使她年纪稍大了 又怎样？ Even if she is a little older, so what?
有必要见识一下 诀窍 There's something to be said for know-how,
经验和见多识广的人 experience and someone who's seen a lot of things.
你别想第一次跳舞就找到非常完美的人 You don't want somebody perfect for your first dance.
这只会是太吓人了 It's just too intimidating.
你还好吗？ You okay?
不 不好 No. Not okay.
我只是看到 你在盯着看某人看一会儿 I could just see you staring at somebody for a minute.
像一个真正的 真正的一会儿 是很长时间盯着看 Like a real, true minute which is a long time to stare.
告诉我你在酝酿什么事情 Tells me you got something brewing up here.
对不起 我认识你吗？ Sorry, do I know you?
你介意我说点别的吗？ Do you mind if I say something else?
我要说点别的 I'm gonna say something else.
没有人值得你这么长时间的关注 Nobody deserves a full minute of your attention
除非他们也回看你 unless they're giving it back to you.
哦 微笑！ Oh. Smile!
嘿 只是为你找些事情让你想想 Hey, just something for you to think about.
我对于你 Me to you.
不客气 You're welcome.
嗯 什么他妈… Um, what the fu...
- 嗨 - 什么事？ - Hey! - Sorry?
别那么做！ 做什么？ Don't do that. Do what?
说些自以为是的话 然后走开 Just say something smug and walk away.
不 不是那样的 No, it wasn't like that.
我刚才看到你在那里 而我…是啊 嗯 事实就是这样 I just saw you there, and I... Yeah, well, it was like that.
还有 为了让你知道那个 Also, in order for you to know that
如果我一直盯着某人看一个真正 真实的很长时间 I'd been staring at someone for a real, true minute,
那你也一定得盯着我看一个真正 真实的很长时间 you had to be staring at me for a real, true minute.
同时 这是一个测试 而我通过了 Also, that was a test. Which I passed.
我的前男友在那里 My ex-boyfriend is in there.
而我 你知道 没有感觉 And I... You know, felt nothing.
我根本没有感觉 I felt nothing at all.
好吧 那么 我是完全误解了 Right. So, I misread that entirely.
是的 我猜你是的 Yeah. I guess you did.
对不起 我…今天是我倒霉的一天 Sorry, I'm... I'm having an off day.
你有过吗？ Do you ever have that?
那种日子 你认为事情 Kind of day where you think that the things
对于别人来得如此容易 似乎如此 that come so easy to everyone else just seem so
难以捉摸的？ elusive?
没有 No.
是的 我也没有 Yeah, me neither.
好的 好的 Okay Okay
不用你问 但这是我坐的地方 Not that you asked, but this is where I'm sitting
所以 如果你结束了高中生的把戏 so if you end up in the high teens,
你知道在哪里能找到我 you know where to find me.
妈的 Shit!
哦 妈的 Oh, shit.
你感觉好吗？ Are you feeling all right?
你说的你名字叫什么？ What do you say your name is?
梅根安 Megan-Ann.
梅根安 好的 我不会忘记了 Megan-Ann. Okay. I will not forget.
如果当时我有机会 我应该嫁给李洛伊 I should have married Leroy while I had the chance.
李洛伊知道该把他的手放在哪里 Leroy knew where to put his hands.
啊 你这杀手 宁 不要否认 你这狗屎 Ah, you're the killer, Nyung. Don't deny it, you shit.
放下一本好书是很难的 It's hard to put down a good book.
是的 Yes.
谁不爱读书？ 我爱读书 作为一个正常的人 Who doesn't love to read books? I do, as a normal person.
你最喜欢的书是什么 华特？ What's your favorite book, Walter?
可能是那本 Probably that one.
华特 你住在哪里？ Walter, where do you live?
今天不准生气 Today will not suck.
你的指甲是橙色的 你的头发是橙色的 Your nails are orange and your hair is orange.
你的衣服是橙色的 我说太多橙色了 And your dress is orange. I say it's too much orange.
橙色太多了？ Too much orange?
这就是我说的 所以你必须去掉其中一些 That's what I was saying, so you have to lose one of them.
我指的是裙子 I meant the dress.
哦 我的天啊 On, my God.
你从哪里来的？ Where are you from?
你好 你好 我的天啊 Hi. Hello my god.
好的 你好 嗨！ Okay. Hi. Hi!
我叫仁佐 I am Renzo.
我已经到了青春期 我参加了一支摇滚乐队 I've achieved puberty and I'm in a rock band.
我是华特 我是一个成功的商人 我也到了青春期 I'm Walter, I'm a successful businessman and I've also reached puberty.
好吧 好极了 我是艾洛丝 Well, terrific. I'm Eloise.
到目前为止 是我妈在负责贝司 而我负责写歌词 So far, it's my mom on bass and me on lyrics,
但它很酷 非常酷的 but it's pretty cool. Very cool.
嗯 Uh-huh.
是“高中没有坏名声摇滚乐队” There's No Bad Name For a High School Rock Band.
我们是这么称呼自己的 Is what we're calling ourselves.
我叫它“那支乐队” I'm calling it The Band.
艾洛丝 你的新娘和新郎是什么关系？ Eloise, what's your connection to the bride and groom?
好的 是的 这正是那种在这里你该问的问题 Right, yeah, that's the sort of question you ask back here.
这不是你想听到的问题 It's not gonna be what you want to hear.
这也不是她想听到的问题 It won't be what she wants to hear.
你是娇 法兰妮根对吧？ You're Jo Flanagan, right?
你是那个保姆 弗兰西的保姆 You're the nanny. Francie's nanny.
你怎么知道呢？ How do you know that?
而你们是在餐厅认识亨利 葛罗斯基的 And you know Henry Grotsky from the diner scene,
你们是那些人… you're those people...
天啊 记不起来了 Jesus, not the Humps.
我们是 克普夫妇 The Kepps.
碧娜和杰瑞 克普 Bina and Jerry Kepp
我是华特 只是一个成功的商人 And I'm Walter, just a successful businessman
喜欢读他最喜欢的书 who just likes to read his favorite book.
就是那本 That one.
而你是葛罗斯基朋友的孩子？ And you're Grotsky's friend's kid?
你曾要求一张单身汉的桌子上 You requested the singles' table.
那永远不会发生 That was never gonna happen.
你怎么知道我们的？ How do you know us?
那么 弗兰西 今天的新娘 是我的老朋友 So, Francie, today's bride, is my oldest friend.
哦…谢谢你 Oh... Thank you!
我们刚才进行了长时间的讨论 There's been a long discussion
关于这张桌子是坐什么样的人 about what kind of table this is
而你刚刚解决了这问题！ and you've just resolved it!
她是新娘最好的朋友 She is the best friend of the bride.
嗯 是最老的朋友 Well, oldest.
现在你觉得厕所离得有多近了 克普先生？ How close to the toilet do you feel now, Mr. Kepp?
相同的 距离是相同的 The same. The distance is the same.
你知道吗？ 这是一场同样的婚礼 You know what? It's the same wedding.
是都是同样的庆祝 无论你在哪一桌 It's the same celebration no matter what table you're at.
我是个侦探小说迷 艾洛丝 I'm a fan of detective fiction, Eloise.
非常入迷 Big, big fan.
所以当我发现有些东西不合乎情理 我就会去调查 So when I find that something doesn't add up, I investigate.
做侦探是不可能的 只是这就是我 Can't help being a detective, it's just who I am.
你们想知道我丈夫在部队获得了什么军衔吗？ And you want to know what rank on the force my husband has attained?
他管理一家在俄亥俄哥伦布市的餐馆 就是那个级别 He manages a diner in Columbus, Ohio. That rank.
无论如何满足一下我们的好奇心 好吗 Fill us in anyway, would you,
怎么作为新娘最要好的朋友 on how exactly the bride's best friend
会最终回到这里和“肥佬”在一起 ended up back here with the Klumps.
是最老的朋友 别管这个了 Oldest friend. Leave it alone.
不 那没事的 这不是 这是 No, that's fine. It's not, it's...
这并不神秘 不是一个大问题 It's no mystery, it's not a big deal.
我被弗兰西的哥哥甩了 I got dumped by Francie's brother,
泰迪 米勒 今天的伴郎 Teddy Millner, the best man.
在那边一号桌上的那个高高 喝着不知道什么鬼的家伙 That tall drink of shit over there at table one
你几乎看不到 天啊 看看他 you can barely see. God, look at him.
那家伙正是你认为的那个样子 That guy is exactly who you think he'd be.
是的 只是个自私的混蛋 Yeah, just a selfish jerk.
直到两个月前我才知道 Which I somehow didn't see until two months ago
当他突然抛弃我的时候 我才看清楚 when he dumped me out of the blue. Then I saw.
所以我退出了去当伴娘 So I dropped out as maid of honor
因为这很尴尬 我也拒绝了请柬 because it was awkward and I RSVP'd No.
嗯 同意然后拒绝 然后我想 Well, Yes and then No. And then I thought,
这是关于弗兰西的 这是她的日子 this is about Francie, it's her day,
我不会让她哥哥把我吓跑的 and I won't let her brother scare me away from that.
我很高兴我来了 我很好 I'm glad I came. I'm fine.
其实我没什么感觉 我 就像… I feel nothing, actually. I'm, like...
我感到解放 我感到自由 I feel liberated. I feel free.
天啊 你不知道那是什么感觉 God. You have no idea what that feels like.
总有一天 Someday.
我的意思是 我有自由的 我是的 I mean, I am free. I do, I mean,
我是个自由人 我知道它的感觉 I'm a free man, I do know how it feels.
对的 很好 Right. Great.
那么 你知道 这种感觉很棒 Well, then, you know. It feels great.
我不需要再去想他 I don't have to think about him anymore.
和他说话 或者… Talk to him, or...
请原谅 Excuse me.
好吧 我们的新婚夫妇很快将加入我们 All right-Our newly weds will be joining us
跳第一支舞 for their first dance soon.
好吧 怎么了 伙计？ Okay, what's going on, man?
同时 享用那露天酒吧 Meanwhile, enjoy the open bar.
得了 这是什么意思？ Come on, what does that mean?
这是什么意思？ What does that mean?
这意味着你给我留下了一条语音留言 It means you leave me a voicemail
告诉我 告诉她不要给你发请柬 telling me to tell Francie not to open your RSVP card.
然后你留给我一条语音留言 告诉我你来了 Then you leave me a voicemail telling me that you're coming
然后一条语音留言说 忽略最后一条语音留言 and then another one saying Disregard the last one.
这就是我的意思 你在这里干什么？ So that's what I mean, what are you doing here?
你听了所有的语音留言？ You listened to all those voicemails?
嘿 伙计们 就在这里 Hey, guys, right here.
来吧 小艾 请不要发疯 Come on, El, please don't go all crazy.
发疯吗？ 那是什么意思？ All crazy? Now what does that mean?
意思是你疯了 It means you get mad.
你做了件大事 你不能收回去 You do something big and you can't take it back
太晚了 然后… and it's too late, and then...
疯狂了 我那样做了吗？ Crazy. I do that?
我那样做了？ I do that?
我不是你妈妈 所以 我不会那样做 I'm not your mom, so, I don't do that.
我认为这很有趣 一般说来 I think it's funny, mostly.
但今天不行 But not today.
妮基会杀了我… 好吧 好吧 Nikki will murder me... All right, all right.
妮基能够平静下来 妮基到底是怎么回事？ Nikki can calm down. What is the deal with Nikki?
真的？ Really?
哇 妮基到底是怎么回事？ 那很有趣 Wow. What's the deal with Nikki? That's funny.
你为什么要关心妮基 如果你只是来这里参加我妹妹婚礼的？ Why would you care about Nikki if you're just here for my sister?
你说的对 You're right.
是的 你说的对 Yeah. You're right.
是不关我的事 如果你曾背着我和她好 It's none of my business if you cheated on me with her.
什么？ 为什么这事还要让我烦恼呢？ What? Why should it even bother me?
得了！我没有背着你和她在一起 Come on! I didn't cheat on you with her.
是在我们分手后开始的 It started after we broke up
而你不当伴娘了 and you dropped out as maid of honor.
怎么会有这样的家伙 How does a guy who...
两年交往后 你就发条短信和我分手了？ After two years, you break up with me over text?
祝你未来的努力好运？ Good luck with your future endeavors?
是你解雇我了吗？ Were you firing me?
在是什么他妈的 What the f...
你是一个混蛋 You're an asshole.
哦 天哪 你真是个混蛋 Oh, my God, you're such an asshole.
你是个可笑的混蛋 You're a ridiculous asshole.
你为什么不回家去？ Why don't you just go home?
是吗？是啊 Yeah? Yeah.
在你毁了这为弗兰西准备的一切之前 Before you ruin all this for Francie.
反正我要到明天才会有轮渡船票 I don't have a ferry ticket till tomorrow, anyway.
那就游泳回去 Swim.
她会回来吗？ Think she'll be back?
我投票赞成 I vote yes.
嘿！让我们聊聊 Hey! Let's chat,
你和我 you and me.
不 放开我的手 妮可 No, I'd like my elbow back, Nicole.
好的 Fine.
只是别吵架 Just don't make a scene.
为什么大家都在不断地说我要吵架？ Why does everyone keep saying I do that?
嘿 杰瑞 克普 嗯 Hey, Jerry Kepp. Uh-huh.
只是一个假设 Just a hypothetical.
如果有人给你二十块钱 If someone offered you 20 bucks to go up
为了到我们的房间 在浴缸里读你的书 好吗？ to our room and read your book in the tub, would you?
说 好的 Say yes.
不好 你知道我对旅馆浴缸的感觉 No. You know how I feel about a hotel bathtub.
人们总在酒店浴缸不合情理的事情 People do unconscionable things in hotel bathtubs.
好吧 对不起 Okay, I'm sorry.
碧娜站起来 碧娜现在请站起来吧 请 Bina, stand up. Bina, please, stand up right now, please.
为什么？ Why?
我会给你不用假设的二十美元 I will give you 20 unhypothetical dollars
如果你现在站起来 if you stand up right now.
好吧 那么 All right, then.
好吗？ Okay?
什么？ What?
亲爱的 哦 Honey. Oh.
妈的 Shit.
多丢脸 What a shame.
给你 哦 谢谢你 Here you go. Oh, thank you.
这么多 So much.
你在这里工作多久了？ How long have you worked here?
我没有 I don't
真的在这里工作 really work here.
是啊 怎么了？ Yeah. What's up?
看看那个 Look at that.
这就是为什么我今天在这里 That is why I'm here today.
罗德里格兹和黑耶斯一定欣喜若狂 Rodriguez & Hayes must be overjoyed.
事实上 我听说他们在打架 Actually, I heard they were fighting.
好吧 听着 Okay, look.
泰迪和你分手了 Teddy broke up with you.
我知道这有多难受 好吗？ I know how hard that can be, okay?
很久以前 他和我分手了 A long time ago, he broke up with me
约你出去 所以我明白这感受 to go out with you, so I get it.
但你现在必须停止 But you have to stop now.
我顺应这个家庭 你从来没有 I fit into this family. You never did.
我是弗兰西的第一伴娘 I was Francie's first choice for maid of honor.
我是泰迪第一个女朋友 I was Teddy's first choice for a girlfriend.
有时 第一很牢固 有时候 它不 Sometimes, first sticks. Sometimes, it doesn't.
他听过我发送的每个语音信箱 He listened to every voicemail I sent,
那这件事情告诉你什么？ so what does that tell you?
告诉我你不知道什么时候停止打电话 Tells me you don't know when to stop calling.
嘿 碧娜嗯？ Hey, Bina. Hmm?
充分利用这衣服去给我们弄个起司盘 Make use of the jacket and grab us a cheese plate,
好吗？ would you?
那很有趣 上周 That's funny. Last week,
我看了我们电脑的上网访问记录 I did a search history on our computer.
我们中的一个看了裸体的丹海伦米兰 And one of us looked up Topless Dame Helen Mirren.
不是我 Wasn't me.
M－I－R－R－E－N M-I-R-R-E-N.
你为什么干那样的事呢？ Why did you do that?
你为什么来这里？ Why did you come here?
杰瑞说过他不来了 Jerry said he wasn't coming,
然后 突然他改变了主意 and then all of a sudden he changed his mind
他没说为什么 and he won't say why.
男人什么时候需要理由 Since when does a man need a reason
和妻子一起去参加婚礼？ to go to a wedding with his own wife?
看到了吗？他有病态的厌恶 See? He has a pathological aversion
直接回答问题 to answering a question directly.
他总是会用另一个问题来回答你的问题 He always answers with another question.
你为什么在脸书上找朋友 Why did you make Facebook friends
和亨利 葛罗斯基在脸书交朋友？ with Henry Grotsky on Facebook?
你用一个问题回答了另一个问题 You answered with a question.
你为什么看我的脸书？ Why are you looking at my Facebook?
你做了同样的事 You just did the same thing.
好的 实际上 和亨利 葛罗斯基 Okay. Actually, with Henry Grotsky
和汤弗 and Tom Fo.
汤弗？ Tom Fo?
嗯 Mmm-hmm.
嗯 亨利 葛罗斯基拥有俄亥俄中部五家餐厅 Well, Henry Grotsky owns five diners in Central Ohio.
我们在俄亥俄市中部有一家餐厅 We own a diner in Central Ohio.
在俄亥俄中部有一家餐厅的每个人 Everyone who owns a diner in Central Ohio
是脸书的朋友 is Facebook friends.
你知道这个的 如果你注意的话 You'd know that if you paid attention.
汤弗好的 Tom Fo. Okay.
我是脸书的朋友汤弗 真的吗 杰瑞？ Am I Facebook friends with Tom Fo, really, Jerry?
可以 好吧 Okay. All right.
碧娜失去了她的童贞 给了一位失败的叫汤弗的移民 Bina lost her virginity to a loser immigrant named Tom Fo.
他来自加拿大 He was from Canada.
来自那个生产最难以忍受的人的加拿大省 From the province of Canada that produces the most insufferable people.
那是不是真的曼尼托巴省这是真的 That's not true. Manitoba. It is true.
汤弗是我的第一个男朋友 我们彼此相爱 Tom Fo is my first boyfriend, and we loved each other.
太好了 现在我会和我的初恋交朋友了 Great, I'll friend my first love now.
海伦米兰会很激动的 Helen Mirren will be thrilled.
仁佐 接电话 仁佐 接电话 Renzo, pick up the phone-Renzo, pick up.
现在不行 正在大战呢 Not now, big fight.
你还好吗？ 你看起来迷失了 Are you all right? You look lost.
我有吗？ I do?
如果你需要帮助 尽管问我们 If you need help, just ask us.
对不起 如果我需要帮助？ Sorry, If I need help?
你有吗？ 你需要我的帮助吗？ Do you? Do you need my help?
为什么我需要你的帮助？ Why would I need your help?
好吧 你确实没有人别的人帮你 Well, you have no one.
我和弗兰西一起做的桌子分配方案 I did the table assignments with Francie.
做的桌子分配方案的人 在这里怎么会没有别的人帮助呢？ How could the person who did the table assignments have no one else here?
婚礼的一半是我计划的 I planned half the wedding.
好吧 Okay
一号桌是弗兰西 道格和那些 Table one is Francie, Doug and everyone
重要的成员 包括泰迪 米勒 who actually matters including Teddy Millner,
伴童和妮基 卡迈克尔 the best man-child and Nikki Carmichael,
第二伴娘 the second-choice maid of honor.
二号桌是弗兰西那可怕的爸爸… Table two, Francie's hideous dad...
罗杰？ 不 他是个可爱的家伙 Roger? No, he's a lovely bloke.
罗杰和他的花瓶老婆 还有道格的父母 Roger and his trophy wife, and Doug's parents
他们结婚 但很痛苦 who are married but miserable.
三号桌 弗兰西多灾多难的母亲 Table three, Francie's disaster of a mother,
实际上她所在的妇女联谊会的姐妹们都是离婚的 大多是两次 her actual sorority sisters who are all divorced, mostly twice,
有时会更多 现在发生了什么？ sometimes more. What's happening now?
四号桌 道格的那些古怪的大学朋友 Four, Doug's kooky college friends.
五号桌 祖父母 无可奉告 Five, grandparents, no comment.
六号桌 道格爸爸的部队战友 Six, Doug's dad's military buddies.
七号桌 体面的表兄弟 Seven, decent cousins.
八号桌 不雅的表亲 包括声名狼藉的凯特 Eight, indecent cousins including Infamous Kate,
那米勒家族的花痴 the Millner family nymphomaniac.
现在八号桌在哪里？ Where is eight now?
九号桌 弗兰西才气横溢的作品 Nine, Francie's scintillating work.
十号桌 道格更加才气横溢的作品 10, Doug's even more scintillating work.
十一号桌 孩子们的桌子 无可奉告 11, kids' table, no comment.
十二和十三号桌 都是单身汉的桌子 12 and 13 are two tables of singles,
一桌应该很酷 另一桌应该不是 one supposedly cool, the other supposedly not.
十四号桌 道格爸爸的餐饮界的生意朋友 14, Doug's dad's diner world connections.
那我们在这里干什么？ The hell are we doing back here?
十五号桌 婚礼顾问公司人员 包括牧师在内 15 are the wedding hires including the reverend,
理发师 染发师 the hairdresser, the hairdresser's colorist.
然后还有三张桌子要介绍 直到你回到这里 And then there's three more tables until you get back here.
你知道弗兰西妈妈叫这张桌子什么吗？ Do you know what Francie's mother calls this table?
够了 Enough.
卡罗米勒叫十九号桌什么？ What Carol Millner calls Table 19?
是请柬后悔的一桌 The table that should have known to RSVP regrets...
是在发出请柬后后悔的 but not before sending something nice off the registry.
够了 Enough.
可以消失的桌子 在婚礼进行当中 The table that could disappear in the middle
而没有人会注意到 of the wedding and no one would even notice.
够了 Enough!
我和弗兰西一起做的桌子分配计划 I did the table assignments with Francie
在我作为伴娘被替换之前 before I was replaced as maid of honor
因为在经过两年交往后 她哥哥发短信和我分手了 because her brother broke up with me over text after two years.
这一桌就是这个样子 That's the kind of table this is.
我告诉过弗兰西 米勒一个永不结束的故事 在她五岁的时候 I told Francie Millner a never-ending story when she was five.
我教了她一打摇滚歌曲 I taught her a dozen rock-n-roll songs.
我给了她这世界上她最喜欢的玩具 I gave her, her favorite toy in the world.
一只金鸟 她是如此喜欢 A golden bird that she so loved,
我打赌她现在还藏着 I bet she still has it now.
像这样的人 他们会把她放在那张 Does that sound like a person they would put at a table
人们毫不在乎的桌子上吗？ of people they don't care about?
听起来像是某个被邀请参加婚礼的人说的话 It sounds like someone who was invited to a wedding
因为弗兰西的妈妈发现 because Francie's mother found out
她花了两百美元买了盘子给新郎的保姆 she was paying $200 a plate for the groom's nanny
而想报仇 and wanted to settle the score.
哦 还有我 Oh, and me too.
我的意思是 我也在这里 I mean, I'm here too.
尽管泰迪 米勒是我见过的最差的人 Even though Teddy Millner is the worst person I ever knew.
我想看看我是否还爱着他 I wanted to see if maybe I was still in love with him.
所以 谢谢你的提议 但我已经不想从人们那里寻求帮助 So, thanks for the offer but I'm done looking for help from people
和我一样迷失的人们 who are as lost as I am.
我是泰迪 I'm Teddy.
我是妮基 And I'm Nikki.
我是伴郎 I'm the best man.
我是伴娘 Maid of honor.
欢迎他们的第一支舞蹈 Welcome for their first dance
道格拉斯葛罗斯基先生和夫人！ Mr. and Mrs. Douglas Grotsky!
让这个派对开始吧 Get this party started!
看着人们走在大街 See the people walking down the street
大家都和别人脚步一致 Fall in line just watching all their feet
他们不知道自己要去哪里 They don't know where they want to go
但是他们在时间里走着 But they're walking in time
他们跟着节拍 他们跟着节拍 They got the beat They got the beat
他们跟着节拍 是的 他们跟着节拍 They got the beat Yeah, they got the beat
你好 不 Hi. No.
当然不 Of course not.
你好 我是仁佐 是代表艾克柏格家来的 Hello. I am Renzo representing House Eckberg.
嗯 好的 Uh-huh. Okay.
我是路克 法弗勒 I'm Luke Pfaffler.
我能帮你做点什么吗？ Can I help you with something?
法弗勒先生？ Mr. Pfaffler?
我可以和你女儿谈谈吗？ May I have a word with your daughter?
哦 这不是我女儿 她今天是我的同桌 Oh, this is not my daughter. She's just my tablemate today.
我能问她叫什么名字吗？ Can I ask what her name is?
梅根安 Megan-Ann.
就是这个 There it is.
也许有一天我会来找你 I may come to you one day
请求牵着梅根安的手 嫁给我 asking for Megan-Ann's hand in marriage.
她不是我的女儿 She's not my daughter.
但今天 我只想牵着她的手 请她跳个舞 But today, I'm only going to ask for her hand in this dance.
还有她的其余部分 连同她的身体 And the rest of her, along with her body.
好的 不 我不认为那是 Good. No, I don't think that's...
你不想跳舞吧？ You don't want to dance, right?
不 她不想跳舞 No. She doesn't want to dance.
也许我应该跟她真正的父亲谈谈？ Maybe I should have a word with her actual father?
他不在这里 He's not here.
我也是这样的情况 Same with mine.
好吧 我想这次谈话结束了 对吧？ Okay, I think this conversation is over, right?
因为谈话由你请求跳舞开始 Because it started with you asking for a dance
然后答案是否定的 and then the answer to that was no.
首先 我可以问她是否愿意听我的课外活动？ First, can I ask if she'd like to hear about my extracurriculars?
好的 我很同情这里的危险境地 Okay. I'm gonna go out on a limb here,
仁佐 说她对整个包裹已经做了评估 Rezno, and say that she has evaluated the whole package,
包括课后特长 including the after-school specials
而且她还没真正准备好和评估的那些跳舞 好吗？ and she's not really ready to dance with that, okay?
所以你只能笨拙地站在另一张桌子前面 So you could just stand awkwardly in front of another table.
哦 好吧 Oh, okay.
谢谢你澄清了那个 Thank you for the clarity of that.
那是支持 所以谢谢你 That was bracing, so thank you.
不客气 My pleasure.
如果我是一名乐队成员 你会有兴趣吗？ Would it matter if I'm in a band?
你玩什么乐器？ What instrument?
写歌词 不 Lyrics. No.
我们跟着节拍 We got the beat
嗯 那很奇怪 Well, that was weird.
刚才有那么一会儿 我以为我们会被谋杀 I thought we were gonna be murdered there for a second.
嗯 Mmm-hmm.
哦 我的天啊 这里的灯光太残酷了 Oh, my God, the lighting in here is brutal!
天啊！ God!
我的舞蹈号码是下一个 让我的头发看起来像是 My dance number is next and I cannot look like my hair
刚被飓风吹得隆起 just got humped by a hurricane.
你好 卡萝 Hello, Carol.
我一定是看起来很不一样 对你来说 I must look very different to you
自从我们最后一次见面 since the last time we saw each other.
天啊！哦！ O-M-G! Oh!
我居然会忘记 真是让人痛心 That's mortifying that I would forget.
是保姆娇 Nanny Jo.
嗯 你盘子里有很多东西 Well, you've had a lot on your plate.
不 我是个香槟酒精神病人 No, I am a Champagne mental patient.
这是不可原谅的 It is inexcusable.
不 很好 不 这不好 No, it's fine. No, it's not.
不 很好 No, it's fine.
不 这不好 No, it's not fine.
我的天啊 On, my God.
好吧 我们得赶上这些年 All right. We have to catch up one of these years,
当我的大脑的液体越来越少时 when my brain is made of less liquid.
我们会笑死 We will die laughing.
这些年 One of these years.
我女儿已经是个该死的已婚女人！ My daughter is a goddamn married woman!
有趣的是 那家伙还不知道 The funny thing is, the bloke doesn't realize
他在第九洞的果岭 裤子褪到脚踝上 he's on the ninth green with his pants around his ankles!
真有趣 Funny.
这…是我侄子 This... is my nephew.
你好 Hello.
我叫华特 是一个成功的商人 My name is Walter and I'm a successful businessman.
很好 你是做哪一行的？ Nice. What line of work are you in?
我可以问你同样的问题 I could ask you the same question.
我？ 是啊 Me? Yeah.
哦 我是啤酒和葡萄酒分销商 Oh, I'm in beer and wine distribution.
我也一样 哦 你是？ Same. Oh, you are?
听说过一个叫多尼 赫契克的家伙吗？ Ever heard of a guy named Donny Haczyk?
是的 他是个白痴 Yes. He's a knobhead.
- 他是什么？ - 一个猪头 - He's a what? - A knobhead.
像个白痴 Like a dickhead.
我就是多尼 赫契克 I'm Donny Haczyk.
很高兴再次见到你 多尼 Good to see you again, Donny.
把她拉得紧紧的 那里 那里 And pull her close and there, there, there
扭打抢走她的孩子 And take your baby by the ears
玩弄她让她感觉到最黑暗的恐惧 And play upon her darkest fears
我们那么相同 We were so in phase
我们的舞蹈日 In our dance hall days
关于 这家伙 Oh, boy.
人们在婚礼上做奇怪的事 People do weird things at weddings.
我到底在想什么？ What was I ever thinking?
这太奇怪了 有一天你可以百分之百拥有 而第二天… It's so weird, one day you can be 100%, the next...
你饿了吗？ Are you hungry?
因 有一盘起酥热狗卷 Because there's a plate of pigs in a blanket
即将穿过那扇门 about to come through that door.
拿着 Just grab it.
非常感谢你 谢谢 Thank you so much. Thank you.
你怎么… How did you...
我的嗅觉是最好的 My sense of smell is my best feature.
哦！ Ooh!
那是面包卷吗？ Was that a bread roll?
周年纪念日快乐 Happy Anniversary.
你怎么了？ What's wrong with you?
我们在这儿干什么？ What are we doing here?
如果我说只是来这享受这一切呢？ What if I'm just here to enjoy all of this?
嗯？ 我们过去常常跳舞 杰瑞 Huh? We used to dance, Jerry.
为什么我就不能在这里回忆 Why can't I just be here to reminisce
早期的碧娜和杰瑞呢？ on the early days of Bina and Jerry?
拜托 Please.
我投降 I give up.
曼尼先生在哪儿？ Where's Mr. Manny?
曼尼先生？ Mr. Manny?
一位在四号桌的女士说她尝试 A lady at Table 4 says she tries
每周吃和她体重一样的紫甘蓝 to eat her own weight in purple cabbage every week.
我怎么知道是否厨房里会有那么多紫甘蓝？ How do I figure out if the kitchen has that much purple cabbage?
我不知道你为什么要告诉我… I don't know why you're telling me...
好吧 算了 Okay, forget it.
拿着这个 拿着它 Take this. Take it.
我自己会找到曼尼先生 I'll find Mr. Manny myself.
噢 得了吧 嗯 Oh, come on! Hmm.
我应该去某个地方 I should go somewhere.
是的 我的意思是… Yeah, I mean...
你应该周游世界 You should be traveling the world.
嗯 Hmm.
我从来没有真正离开过这个国家 I've never actually been outside the country.
在高中以后 这几乎要发生了 It almost happened after high school
但我得找一份在汽车经销处接电话的工作 but I had to get a job answering phones at a car dealership
和我那些所谓的朋友不能等我 and my supposed friends couldn't wait.
所以现在我发现自己在想 这个家伙… So now I find myself thinking that this guy...
你 家伙… You, guy...
似乎是那种人 其实 seem like the kind of person who, in fact,
没有必要在路卡奇丰田汽车那里找工作 did not have to get a job at Lukazey's Toyota
并去过欧洲或诸如此类的地方 and has been to Europe or some such
知道去哪里 and knows where one goes to...
去什么地方？ To what?
哦 嗯 Oh. Well. Uh...
我可能会说这里的拐角就是我要去的地方 I'd probably say this corner right here is where I'd go for that.
我们没有过去 We have no past
我们不想回忆过去 We won't reach back
让我向前 Keep with me forward
穿越黑夜 一旦我们开始 All through the night And once we start
表就开始计时 The meter clicks
啊 我喝醉了 泰迪 Ugh. I'm drunk, Teddy.
请不要让我出洋相 Please don't let me make a fool of myself.
妈妈 你永远不可能出洋相 Mom, you could never make a fool of yourself.
你不能出洋相 不可能的 You couldn't make it. Not possible.
穿越黑夜 All through the night
流浪猫在哭泣 所以流浪猫回唱 Stray cat is crying, so stray cat sings back
- 我们在干嘛？ - 在跳舞 - What are we doing? - We're dancing.
还有呢？ And also?
也许让某人嫉妒 Maybe making somebody jealous.
好吧 Okay
对不起 靠太近了？ Sorry. Bit too much?
是有点太进了 It's a little too much.
你知道 这不是真正的跳舞 You know, this isn't really dancing.
哦？ 嗯嗯 Oh? Uh-uh.
这才是跳舞 This is dancing.
哦 Oh
小心 Watch it!
什么？ What?
跟我向前 穿过黑夜 Keep with me forward all through the night
一旦我们开始 And once we start
表就开始计时 The meter clicks
并且继续运行 And it goes on running
穿过黑夜 All through the night
我们没有过去 We have no past
我们不想回忆过去 We won't reach back
跟我向前 穿过黑夜 Keep with me forward all through the night
一旦我们开始 And once we start
表就开始计时 The meter clicks
它运行贯穿整个夜晚 And it goes running all through the night
直到结束 Until it ends
那里没有尽头 There is no end
和你跳舞真是太好了 It was lovely to dance with you.
我怎么没有被吻呢？ How did I not just get kissed?
事比你想像的发生更多 It happens more often than you think.
哦 对了 我是艾洛丝 Uh... I'm Eloise, by the way.
你是谁？ Who are you?
哈克 Huck.
哈克？ Huck?
没有人真的会叫哈克 好的 No one's really named Huck anymo... Okay.
哈克我们在一个满是桌子的大舞厅里 Huck, we are in a grand ballroom full of tables.
我在最差的一个 I'm at the very worst one.
你愿意和我一起吗？ Would you care to join me?
我不应该这样 I shouldn't.
当然愿意 Sure.
哦 真的吗？ 是的 Oh, seriously? Yeah.
哦 天哪 你不是别人的约会对像 是吗？ Oh, God, you're not somebody's date in there, are you?
不 No.
因为你不坐在桌旁 你没有婚礼请柬？ Because you're not at a table. You're crashing the wedding?
你得留下来吃东西 You gotta stay for the food.
哦 是吗？ Oh, do I?
是啊 这就是为什么人们来参加婚礼 免费食品 Yeah, that's why people come to weddings. For free food.
哦 是这样吗？ Oh, is that so?
是啊 Yeah.
还有遇见某个人 And to meet somebody.
喂 喂 嗨 所有人 Hello? Hello? Hey, everybody.
伴郎 伴郎 敬酒时间 Best man. Best man, toast time.
是啊 Yeah.
是的 现在 我有些事要说 Yeah. Now, I got a few things that I'd like to say.
很好 很难相信任何关系 Well, it's hard to believe any relationship
在味好美的八十年代卡拉OK夜晚开始的关系 that had its start at McCormick's 80s Karaoke Night
也许等于任何事情 could possibly amount to anything
远不只是一夜情缘 more than a one-night stand...
但是这确实发生了 所以我们才会在这里 这非常完美 but it did and here we are and it's perfect.
我猜 对所有的那些人 I guess, you know, to all those who
想看看是怎么做到的 want to see how it's done,
想看看人们怎能做到的 应该为彼此而存在 how people can and should be there for each other,
就看看一号桌 look no further than table one.
你们是更好的一对 比我们见过的 You're a better couple than we've seen
在我们家很长 很长一段时间里的都要好 in our family in a long, long time.
所以 是的 为了纪念这个 So, yeah, in honor of that
我有几件事想说 是关于爱情的 I've got a few things I'd like to say about love.
我的一个朋友 克雷伦斯 曾在午餐期间站起来 This friend of mine, Clarence, once stood up during lunch period
说他有些事情要说 是关于爱情的 and said he had something to say about love.
然后他把一个垃圾桶放在桌子上 Then he took a dump on the table.
当弗兰西第一次见到道格 When Francie first met Doug,
她总是知道他永远不会让她失望 she just always knew that he'd never let her down.
但我认为 But I thought
人们几乎总是让你失望 people almost always let you down,
那么那是从哪里来的？ so where did that come from?
也许她意识到了 Maybe she realized that
每当他让她失望时 whenever he did let her down,
也许她会一直准备原谅他 maybe she'd just be always ready to forgive him.
喔！ Whoo!
上来这里 妮基 Come on up here, Nikki.
救救我 求你了 Save me, please.
我不知道我再说什么了 I don't know what I'm saying anymore.
伴娘敬酒时间 Maid of honor toast time!
哦… Oh...
我们走吧 Let's go.
什么？ What?
她不关我们的事 She's none of our business.
谁知道那个女孩会对自己做什么？ Who knows what that girl will do to herself?
我们不知道 因为我们对她一无所知 We don't, because we don't know anything about her.
她喜怒无常 她没有喝过一点东西 She's temperamental. She hasn't had a drink
现在她吐了迷你热狗 and now she's puked up mini hotdogs.
你们都没注意到那个女孩怀孕了吗？ Do none of you care that that girl is obviously pregnant?
什么？ 嗯？ What? Huh?
你们这些孩子真让人失望 You children are such a disappointment.
请走开 Go away, please.
你说的不错 泰迪 米勒总是很烂 You're right. Teddy Millner was always rotten.
你不了解我 You don't know me.
不 他是自私 粗鲁 喃喃自语 No, he was selfish, rude, mumbling.
总是喃喃自语 Always mumbling.
不喜欢他妈妈给他的任何玩具 In love with whatever toy his mother got him
直到她给他买了一个新的 until she got him a new one
然后他继续老样子 and then he just moved right on.
请走开 拜托 Please go away. Please.
我给他妹妹弗兰西一只鸟 我找到的 I got his sister Francie a bird that I found
在纽约一家中国礼品店里 at a Chinese gift store in New York City.
泰迪嫉妒了 Well, Teddy got jealous.
于是下一次当我在纽约时 So the next time I was in New York,
我尽了最大努力 I went out of my way,
忽略了相亲 skipped a blind date
那是我姑姑试图陷害我的… my aunt tried to set me up on...
请出去 我忽略了相亲 Please get out. skipped a date,
为泰迪找到同样的他的妹妹珍惜的鸟 to find Teddy the same bird his sister cherished.
嗯 他玩了一天！ Well, he played with it for one day!
我再也没见过那只鸟 I never saw the bird again.
我的整个生活可能已经 My whole life might have been
是别的样子 如果我去相亲的话 something else if I'd gone on that date.
但木已成舟 But what's done is done.
不 等等 我知道发生了什么 No. Wait. I know what happened.
他用一条短信结束了它 He ended it with a text message
当你告诉他你怀孕了 when you told him you were pregnant.
哦… Oh...
天啊 Jesus!
永远不要怀疑一位保姆的直觉 Never doubt a nanny's intuition.
这是真的吗？是的 It's true? Yes.
请大家离开这里好吗？ Can everybody just get out of here, please?
我们该怎么办？ So what do we do?
你是什么意思 我们该怎么办？ What do you mean, What do we do?
去教训那个混蛋 哦 主啊 To teach that asshole a lesson. Oh, Lord.
不 我不想做任何危及我自由的事 No, I don't want to do anything that will jeopardize my freedom
去经营我那成功的事业 to run my successful business.
对的 让我们回去 That's right. Let's just please go back
到那张桌子 在他们认为我们已经离开之前 to the table before they think we've left.
你在乎别人怎么认为吗 碧娜？ What do you care what anyone here thinks, Bina?
停住 这只是反应过度 好吗？ Stop. That was an overreaction, okay?
我吃了太多的迷你热狗和… I had too many of the mini hotdogs and...
我们能忘记这个吗？ Can we just forget about it?
那不容易 That won't be easy.
泰迪 米勒要让你 Teddy Millner is leaving you
独自抚养孩子 如果你… to raise a child alone. If you even go...
噢 我的天啊 Oh, my God.
如果你甚至经历了怀孕 If you even go through with the pregnancy.
好吧 不 这不关别人的事 好吗？ Okay, no. This is no one's business, okay?
我们要回到桌子上 We're going back to the table.
让我们走出女洗手间 Let's get out of the ladies' bathroom.
弗兰西仍然是我的朋友 我不该破坏她的好日子 Francie's still my friend, and I'm not gonna mess up her day
对她的傻冒哥哥做些出格的事情 by doing something to her dumb brother.
如果弗兰西不需要知道呢？ What if Francie never needs to know?
杰瑞停止 她说过她已经断绝关系了 Jerry, stop. She said she's done with it.
嗯 不 Well, no.
不 这一次 我不会做我马上后悔的事 No. For once, I'm not gonna do the thing I immediately regret.
仁佐 如果我给你几百块钱 Renzo, if I gave you a couple hundred bucks,
你能叫个妓女在泰迪的房间里等吗？ could you get a hooker to wait in Teddy's room?
哦 我正在问酒店同样的问题 不过是我自己房间 Oh, I was asking the hotel that very same question about my own room.
我不想卷入与妓女 I don't want to get involved with hookers.
他们不提供妓女 They don't provide them.
你们可能已经知道了 但这不是问题 You guys probably already know this, but that's not a question
你应该对一个像这样美妙的地方提出要求 you're supposed to ask a fancy place like this
除非你是一个成功的商人 unless you're a successful businessman.
我是 Which I am.
你没事吗？你看起来像生病了 Are you okay? You looked like you got sick.
我很好 请走开吧 抱歉 I'm fine. Please get lost. Excuse me.
你好 杰瑞 克普 Hello. Jerry Kepp.
我是葛罗斯基身边的副厨师 Diner associate on the Grotsky side.
你好 Hello.
你有没有抛弃这个女孩 Did you or did you not dump this girl
在她怀孕了以后？ 噢 我的天啊 after getting her pregnant? Oh, my God.
对不起 发生什么事了？我只是… I'm sorry, what's going on now? I'm just...
我从来没有像你这样做过 甚至是个孩子时也没做过 I never did like you, not even as a child.
泰迪 米勒 你把这个女孩立即抛弃 Teddy Millner, did you dump this girl immediately
在她告诉你她怀孕了以后？ after she told you she was pregnant?
好吧 Okay
你没有告诉他们你所说的 You didn't tell them what you said.
等等 你说什么？我说了什么？ Wait, what did you say? What did I say?
她说我们会是可笑的父母 She said that we'd be ridiculous parents.
不 我…不是那样的 No, I... Not like that.
是的 你说了 Yes, you did.
你说我会是个可笑的父亲 You said I'd be a ridiculous father.
你问我是否想保留它 You asked me if I wanted to keep it.
然后我问你是否愿意保留它 Then I asked you if you would want to keep it
你什么也没说 and you didn't say anything to that.
所以我说我们很可笑 So then I said we were ridiculous.
这是在你说我可笑之后说的 It was after you called me ridiculous
因为你为什么要留住我们的孩子 because why would you want to keep our kid
如果你认为我只是一个… if you thought that I was just a...
我只是个笑话？ That I was just a joke?
这是以前说的 It was before.
你正在找退路 伙计 And you were looking for a way out, man!
我现在明白了 I get that now.
我们认识的每个人都说我们在一起是个错误 Everyone we know says we were wrong together.
你妈妈会不停地说 Your mother wouldn't stop saying that
我不是那种要和你说拜拜的女孩 I was not the kind of girl who ended up with you.
当该你站起来说她错了的时候 And when it was time for you to stand up and say that she's wrong
他们都错了 他们是白痴 站在我旁边 and they're all wrong and they're idiots and stand by me,
然后你问我是否要保留它 then you ask me if I want to keep it.
这是你的第一个问题 That's your first question.
我应该说什么 小艾？ What was I supposed to say, El?
我不断让你失望 I constantly disappoint you.
然后你告诉我 你认为我们的孩子 Then you tell me that you think our kid
长大后会以为我只是个笑话 will grow up thinking that I'm just a joke.
我你永远配不上你 That I was never good enough for you.
你终于找到了方法告诉我 And you finally found a way to tell me.
我很害怕失去你 And I was so scared of losing you that
当你告诉我你怀孕了 when you told me you were pregnant,
我问你是否想留着孩子 I asked if you wanted to keep the kid.
我万般可笑 I'm ridiculous in a million ways.
我是 我知道 I am. I know that.
但我不能用我的一生 But I can't spend my whole life
让你失望 disappointing you
就像我让自己失望 as much as I disappoint myself.
妈的 Shit.
我很抱歉 I'm sorry.
嘿 停住 Hey, stop.
泰迪 停住 泰迪 Teddy! Stop! Teddy!
别管我 Leave me alone.
不 泰迪！不 他没有 No, Teddy! No, he doesn't get...
噢 我的天啊 Oh, my God.
不 我们可以修复这个 我们可以修复这个 不 泰迪 No, we can fix this. We can fix this. No, Teddy.
哦！我很抱歉 Oh! I'm sorry.
我被打到了 I've been hit.
噢 我的天啊 Oh, my God.
哦 妈的 Oh, shit.
噢 我的天啊 Oh, my God.
但我很可笑？ But I'm ridiculous?
谢谢你 Thank you.
谢谢 谢谢你 Thank you, thank you, thank you.
走吧 谢谢你 Let's go. Thank you.
你想让我打电话给曼尼先生 对付这些人吗？ You want me to call Mr. Manny on these people?
我有件事要坦白 I have a confession to make.
我其实不是一个成功的商人 I'm not actually a successful businessman.
我坐牢是因为我偷了 I was in prison because I stole
新娘的父亲十二万五千美元 $125,000 from the father of the bride.
这不是一张光彩的桌子 It was not a table of honor.
我的房间里有一袋毒品 I have a bag of dope in my room.
一一五号房有毒品 Room 115 for the dope
万一你觉得 in case any of you feel that
一包毒品会很有趣 a bag of dope would be fun to do.
你不行 Not you.
你也不行 And not you.
你们两个可以过来 从迷你冰箱里挑选点什么 You two can drop by and choose something from the mini fridge.
这是我所收到的最坏的邀请 That was the worst invitation to anything I've ever received, ever.
你的房间也是走这边？ Is your room this way?
还是你跟着我们？ Or are you just following us?
谁 我？只是跟随 Who, me? Just following.
老实说 听起来还是比初中毕业舞会好 亲爱的 Honestly, it still sounds better than junior prom, honey.
初中毕业舞会是荣誉表演 Junior prom is a horror show.
好吧 如果想法是为了让我看到人们最快乐 Well, if the thinking was for me to see people at their most happy,
我不得不说 这似乎是一个巨大的错误 I would have to say that seems to be a huge miscalculation.
你刚才打破了另一张椅子吗？ Did you just break another chair?
你是选了哪种保姆？ What kind of nanny are you?
退休了的 Retired.
哇 最后一次杰瑞和我这样做 Wow, the last time Jerry and I did this
是在我和杰瑞最后一次做爱的时候 was the last time Jerry and I had sex.
三…其实是 三多年前 Three... Actually, over three years ago.
但没有人在计数 But no one's counting.
哦 谢谢您 Oh, thank you.
你不必这样做 You don't have to do this.
这可能是最好的 如果罗杰叔叔发现 It might be best. If Uncle Roger finds out,
他可能会告诉我假释官 he might tell my parole officer
然后他们会把我送回监狱 and then they'd send me back to jail
或延长我拘留所的时间 or extend my time at the halfway house.
我和一个名叫哈勒皮诺共用一个房间 I share a room with a man called Jalapeno
他有笑脸纹身 who has a smiley face tattooed
在他的阴茎头上 当他撒尿时 on the end of his penis so that when he pees
看起来像它在呕吐阳光 it looks like it's vomiting sunshine.
他不像他听起来那么甜美 He's not as sweet as he sounds.
那么你就不应该做这个 Well, then you shouldn't do it.
哈勒皮诺听起来不像一个好的室友 Jalapeno doesn't sound like a good roommate.
不 No.
我不知道 除非罗杰叔叔 I don't know, unless Uncle Roger
潜伏在门外 我的意思… is lurking around outside the door, I mean...
是罗杰叔叔吗？ 不 Is it Uncle Roger? Nope.
嘿 Hi.
我只是想说对不起 I just wanted to say sorry.
我把事情扯太远 I take things too far.
通常 我是唯一一个受到伤害的人 Usually, I'm the only one who gets hurt,
但今天没有做到 所以我很抱歉 but it didn't work out like that today, so I'm sorry.
加入我们 Join us.
或者你还有别的地方去吗？ Or do you have somewhere else to be?
没有 No.
你知道吗 一张桌子的人从婚礼上消失了 You know, a whole table disappeared from a wedding
我打赌没有人会知道 and I bet no one even knows.
我们可以去任何地方 做任何事情 We can go anywhere, do anything.
这一天是我们的 The day is ours.
你好 我的名字是华特 我是一个成功的瘾君子 Hello. My name is Walter and I'm a successful pothead.
我在吸大麻 I'm smoking the reefer.
谁抽烟壶？ 你是陶工吗？ Who smokes pot? Are you a potter?
不是吗？ no?
你是个瘾君子 You're a pothead.
你有一张桌子和很多朋友在一起 You got a table with a lot of your friends
等待你的船进来 Waitin' for your ship to come in
像我这样的人们早九晚五上班 Folks like me on the job from nine to five
请接礼宾部 Concierge, please.
你好 Hi.
嗯 你能告诉我下一班渡船什么时候到吗？ Um, can you tell me when the next ferry arrives?
约三十分钟 好的 谢谢 In about 30 minutes. Okay. Thanks.
你的浴缸里有只狗 There's a dog in your bathtub.
看到了吗？ 这就是我说的酒店浴缸的意思 See? That's what I mean about hotel bathtubs.
你知道 婚姻是至死不渝的 You know, marriage is till death do us part.
这是什么意思？那是不是意味着你要去天堂？ What does that mean? Does that mean you're gonna get to heaven
然后你就是单身了 and then you'll be single,
然后在那一刻 你可以随心所欲？ and then do whatever you want at that point?
也许 Maybe.
没有人知道你死后会发生什么 Nobody knows what happens after you die.
你是罗密欧和朱丽叶 You are Romeo and Juliet
我们都祝你们有个同样快乐的结局 and we all wish you the same happy ending.
恭喜你们 祝好运 Congratulations, and best of luck.
当我还是个孩子的时候 我想成为一个魔术师 When I was a kid, I wanted to be a magician.
我一直想成为一名夜总会歌手 I always wanted to be a nightclub singer.
小说作家 Fiction writer.
现在我拥有一个餐厅 Now I own a diner.
碧娜接管了她家的餐厅 Bina took over her family's diner.
我被骗去管理它 And I got suckered into managing it
我们结婚后 就像她要的那样 after we got married just like she wanted.
像我想要的那样？ Like I wanted?
还有谁会想要那样？ Who else would've wanted that?
你问我父亲你是否可以 You asked my father if you could.
你把家族的名字改成了你自己的名字 You renamed the family diner after yourself.
那是你的主意 什么？ That was your idea. What?
嗯 Uh-huh.
我想成为一名高中辅导老师 但我却去了监狱 I wanted to be a high school guidance counselor but instead I went to prison.
你做了正确的决定 You made the right decision.
你怎么偷那些钱的？ How did you steal all that money?
对的 是啊 嗯… Right. Yeah, well, uh...
罗杰在他的办公室给我找了份工作 Roger got me a job in his office
当他在福特汽车公司工作时 when he worked for the Ford Motor Company.
我很擅长数字 I'm quite good with numbers,
所以我找到了一个偷十二万五千美元的方法 so I worked out a way to steal $125,000.
所以我做了 So I did.
你用它做了什么？ What did you do with it?
哦 那不是为了我自己 Oh, it wasn't for myself.
我的朋友艾利克 他是一个绝对的甜心 一个很可爱的家伙 My friend Eric, who's an absolute sweetheart, a lovely bloke,
他的妻子病得很厉害 需要动手术 his wife was very sick and needed an operation.
那么 你拯救了一条生命 Well, then you saved a life.
不 因为结果证明 她并不像我们想像的那样病重 No. Because it turned out she wasn't as sick as we thought.
因为事实上她不存在 On account of the fact she didn't exist.
我没想到他从未结婚 I don't think he'd ever been married.
什么？ What?
他只是为了钱才编造的 He made it up just for the money.
你刚还叫他甜心！ You just called him a sweetheart!
他是一个很可爱的家伙 他总是对我很好 He was a lovely bloke. He was always nice to me.
除了他让我进监狱时 Except for when he made me go to prison.
仁佐 是啊 什么事？ Renzo. Yeah, what?
毛皮领带怎么回事？ What's with the fur tie?
哦 谢谢你 Oh, thank you.
这很愚蠢 It's pretty dumb.
不 得了 No, come on.
是的 它是 它是 Yeah, it is. It is.
我妈妈相信它会 My mom believed it would
如此轻微地传达我的性能力 ever so slightly convey my sexual prowess.
“碰” Clonk.
可怕的父母是我的主要收入来源 Terrible parents were my bread and butter.
还记得我以前穿的那套衣服吗？ Remember that suit I was wearing earlier?
是拘留所的牧师从慈善商店那里弄来给我的 The chaplain from the halfway house got me that from Goodwill.
然后现在我穿上了一位漂亮女士的套装 And then now I'm wearing the suit of a beautiful lady.
哦 非常感谢 谢谢 Oh, thank you very much. Thank you.
你穿着很好合适 You wear it well.
不 我看起来很好 No. I look all right.
等等 你爸爸为什么不阻止你？ Wait. Why didn't your dad stop you?
嗯 实际上 这是我爸爸的 Well, this is my dad's, actually.
他死了 这就是为什么我要穿它 所以… He's dead now, which is why I get to wear it. So...
他说… Did he say...
是的 Yeah.
很抱歉笑你死去的爸爸 Sorry for laughing about your dead dad.
嘿 不 伙计们 不 根本不用 Hey, no... Guys, no. It's not all that.
我几乎不认识那个人 所以… I barely knew the guy, so...
总是有陌生人死去 对吗？ Strangers die all the time, right?
我的意思是 每秒钟有一百五十个人死亡 I mean, 150 people die every second.
一百五十人就在那里 150 people right there.
不能在上面工作 Can't get worked up over it.
你知道吗？ You know?
更好一点了？ Better?
不 没有！ No, not really.
谢谢你的尝试 Thank you for trying.
我的初中毕业舞会就在今晚 My junior prom is tonight.
但我妈妈说我会 But my mom said I'd
有更好的机会在这里 没有人认识我 所以… probably have a better chance here where nobody knew me, so...
我会和你一起跳舞 I would have danced with you.
现在 在高中 我肯定会与你共舞 Now, in high school, I certainly would have danced with you.
如果你现在想跳舞 And if you want to dance now,
我们可以打开收音机 只是跳舞 we can just turn on the radio and just dance.
我不这么认为 但是谢谢你 I don't think so, but thank you.
你笑了 You smiled
然后所有的咒语被驱逐 And then the spell was cast
现在我们在天堂 Now here we are in heaven
因为你是我的 'Cause you are mine
终于 At last
操 Fuck.
在这里 铃戈！在这里 铃戈 Here, Ringo! Here, Ringo.
不知道我女儿没有爸爸会有怎么感觉？ Wonder how my daughter's gonna feel not having a dad?
女儿？ Daughter?
是啊 Yeah.
我的意思是 我知道现在还太早 但…我知道 I mean, I know it's too early to know, but... I know.
嗯 我有个请求 不要叫她娇 Well, I have a request. Don't call her Jo.
我今天见到你了 你以为我会给女儿取你的名字吗？ I met you today and you think I'm gonna name my daughter after you?
不 当然不是 No, of course not.
我是一个保姆 带大了很多孩子 I've been a nanny to a lot of children who've grown up
如果他们看不到认为… and if they don't see fit...
我真的只是想志愿 I really just wanted to volunteer that
娇是一个男孩的好名字 Jo is a good enough name for a boy,
但对于一个女孩是可怕的诅咒 but a terrible curse for a girl.
现在让我们看看 一个女孩的名字… Now let's see, a girl's name...
我现在唯一能想到的女孩的名字是妮基 The only girl's name I can think of right now is Nikki.
嗯 不会是妮基 所以… Well, it won't be Nikki, so...
看 这是一场婚礼 我不会去破坏的 Look, it's a wedding I won't ruin.
我应该回进去 I should go back in.
告诉弗兰西关于蛋糕的事情 Tell Francie about the cake.
让我们在外面坐一会儿 Let's sit out for a little while.
现在的世界感觉近乎完美 The world feels almost perfect right now.
废话！ Crap!
这太好了！我很酷 That's cool. I'm cool.
我知道你为什么要来参加这婚礼！ I know why you came!
你喜欢婚礼吗？ 拜托 You love weddings? Please.
你不能那么快地就打发我们的婚礼 You couldn't get through our wedding day fast enough.
可笑的是我花了这么长时间才明白 因为老实说 It's funny it took me so long because honestly,
碧娜我没想到你还真行 会给我惊喜 Bina, I didn't think you had it in you to surprise me.
好的 是的 Okay. Yeah.
你会很多事情 碧娜但“惊喜”不在其中 You're many things, Bina, but surprising is not one of them.
当你去那保姆房的卫生间时 你打了电话 When you went to the bathroom in the nanny's room, you used the phone.
嗯 Uh-huh.
我知道这是因为卧室里有个小灯又亮了 I know this because a little light came on
当你在这样做的时候 in the bedroom when you did that.
好的 你给谁打电话 碧娜？ Okay. So, who did you call, Bina?
在这婚礼上你只认识两个人 我就是其中之一 You only know two people at this wedding and I'm one of them.
你在安排会见亨利 葛罗斯基 在婚礼结束后吗？ You're arranging to meet with Henry Grotsky after the Wedding's over?
嗯？ 也许是回到舞厅 Hmm? Maybe back in the ballroom
在那幸福的一对离去后 after the happy couple is gone
而我呆在楼上房间里？ and I'm upstairs in the room?
你要卖我们的餐厅给亨利 葛罗斯基 You're gonna sell our diner to Henry Grotsky.
你逃不出我的侦察的 碧娜 克普 You don't out-detective me, Bina Kepp.
我有外遇了 I came to have an affair.
哈哈 Ha-ha.
不可能 我了解你 No way. I know you.
碧娜你有外遇？ Bina, an affair?
碧娜！ Bina!
华特 请跟我来好吗？ Walter, would you come with me, please?
是的 我受宠若惊 Yeah. I'm flattered.
再见 Goodbye.
我应该让你知道我已经有 I should just let you know that I've got
一点湿疹 在膝盖上 a little bit of eczema behind my knees.
嗯 哦 去年我得了疱疹 And, um, oh, last year I had a cold sore,
但那是因为哈勒皮诺用了我的毛巾 but that was because Jalapeno was using my washcloth.
而且他不仅仅只是擦脸 And not just on his face.
但是 是的 除此之外 我都很好 But, yeah, otherwise, I'm all fine so
只是让我知道 当你想开始性交的时候 just let me know when you want to start the intercourse.
什么？什么？ What? What?
什么？ What?
对不起 为什么我在这里？ Sorry, why am I here?
不是那样的 Not that.
我很抱歉 可以 I'm sorry. Okay.
但是绝不 不？ But no. No'?
这是谈论哈勒皮诺 Was it talking about Jalapeno
清洗他的睾丸 破坏了心情？ washing his testicles that ruined the mood?
嗯…当然 Um... Sure.
坏到什么程度了？ How bad is it?
大麻 Pot.
它是有疗效的 对吗？ It's medicinal, right?
我们可以开自己的女性侦探社了 We could open our own ladies' detective agency.
让 克普先生破产 Put Mr. Kepp out of business.
有多坏？ How bad?
哦 我会说的 Oh, I'd say that
应该和你现在这个样子差不多 I'm due around the same time you are.
那么？ So?
他说什么？ What did he say?
他说我应该在森林厅 He said that I should be in the Woodside
舞厅提供冷盘 ballroom serving hors d'oeuvres
因为他们人手不足 显然 because they're understaffed, apparently.
你问了这件事吗 Did you have a chance to ask the thing
我派你去那儿问的？ I sent you over there for?
哦 是的 是的 丹尼 就是那边的那个人 Oh, yes. Yes. Denny, who's that man there,
他说没有人登记 he said that there's no one registered
你问的那个名字 under the name you asked about.
嗯 你说的是正确的名字吗？ Huh. Did you say the right name?
是的 丹尼 写在他胸牌上的 我看到了它 Yeah, Denny. It's on his nametag. I saw it.
对 不是指他 哦 是弗 是的 Right. Not him. Oh, Fo, yes.
我说过汤弗 这里有一个叫汤弗的人吗？ 我说过 I said Tom Fo.Is there a Tom Fo here?, I said.
然后他说…他说 没有 And he said... He said, No.
好的 对的 没有弗 Okay. Right. No Fo.
是啊 Yeah.
对不起的 Sorry.
天啊 真奇怪 God, that's so weird.
华特？ Walter?
是的 你去哪儿？ Yes. Where are you going?
我得去帮忙弄冷盘 I gotta go and help with the hors d'oeuvres
在伍德赛的舞厅 为什么？ in the Woodside ballroom. Why?
人手不足 Understaffed.
你不是世上最友好的人 So, you're not the friendliest guy in the world.
我不是 I am not.
那你是怎么勾引到碧娜的？ How did you manage to seduce Bina?
现在不是合适的时间？ 是不是不合适的时间 我现在意识到了 Bad timing? It is bad timing, I realize that now.
如果我告诉你 你是不是会停止和我散步？ If I tell you this, will you stop walking with me?
这我不确定 那是个夏令营 Not sure. It was summer camp.
我是初级辅导员 她是高级顾问 I was a junior counselor. She was a senior counselor.
老实说 仁佐 这已经不是什么秘密了 Honestly, Renzo, it's no big secret.
夏令营有太多的诱惑 Camp does most of the seducing.
比你想像的少 哦 Less often than you think. Oh.
嗯 对我来说 我跳舞还行 Well, for me, I was okay at dancing.
可能是比好 所以我们跳舞 Probably better than okay. So we danced.
就是这样 事实就是如此 And that's it. That's all it takes.
找出你擅长的一件事 Find out the one thing you're good at,
确保让女孩们知道它 make sure the girls know about it.
即使是非常私人的东西？ Even if it's something very private?
我现在对女人的理解似乎很差 My understanding of women seems poor right now.
我会说跟着感觉走 I'd say go with your gut.
弗兰西甚至都不记得我了 是吗？ Francie doesn't even remember me, does she?
啊 那些烂孩子 Ah, those rotten kids.
你在那个家伙身上看到了什么？ What did you ever see in that boy?
我甚至想不起来 I can't even think about it.
如果你今天来这里 是有不同的理由呢？ What if you came here for a different reason today?
如果你和一个更好的人离开会怎么样？ What if you went away with someone better?
如果我知道如何找到你的婚礼上的不速之客？ What if I know how to find your wedding crasher?
跟着感觉走 跟着感觉走 跟着感觉走 Go with your gut. Go with your gut. Go with your gut.
梅根安 法弗勒先生 Megan-Ann, Mr. Pfaffler,
你可能不记得我了 you probably don't remember me.
我们不要谈论那事 We're not going to talk about it.
当然不 Of course not.
让我们只看着那孩子的胜利时刻 Let's just watch the kid in his moment of triumph.
我第一次到这里时 有件事我忘了提 There is something I forgot to mention the first time I arrived here,
那就是我有一个巨大的阴茎 and that is that I have a gigantic penis.
你说什么？哦 天哪！ Excuse me? Oh, my God!
哦… Oh...
哦 狗屎 Oh, shit.
真恶心 这场婚礼因为你而结束 That's disgusting. This wedding is over for you.
我需要你给我一个某人的电话号码 I need you to give me the phone number of somebody
我可以打电话给那人 让你马上离开这里 that I can call to get you out of here right now.
哦！嗯嗯 Oh! Mmm-mmm.
那么…法弗勒先生说过他会打电话给我的妈妈 So... Mr. Pfaffler said he's gonna call my mom.
那个女孩呢？ And the girl?
她开始哭了 She started to cry.
我想我没有描述得很吸引人 I think I didn't describe it appealingly.
在你再次尝试之前 我们将仔细研究一下措辞 We'll work on the wording before you try again.
你们跟我来 You're coming with me.
你好 朋友 就呆在那里 Hello, friend. Just stay right there.
这就是你说的那个人吗？ Is this the guy you meant?
不 我怀了他的孩子 Nope. I'm pregnant with his baby,
但不是我要找的人 but not the guy I'm looking for.
哇 抽一根烟的时间 你就错过了很多 对吗？ Wow. One cigarette break and you miss an awful lot, right?
哦 是这家伙？ Oh. This guy?
那个家伙 这个家伙 叫哈克什么的 That guy, this guy. Huck something.
是的 我知道那个家伙是谁 但他的名字不是哈克 Yeah. I know who that guy is, but his name is not Huck.
没有人真的叫哈克了 No one's really named Huck anymore.
哦 狗屎 Oh, shit.
对的 Right.
好吧 我们走吧 Okay, let's go.
来吧！是的 Come on! Yeah.
只有你是我闪亮的星星 Only you are my shining star
你别走 Don't you go away
是的 亲爱的 Yeah, baby
我想就在这里 你在哪里 Wanna be right here where you are
直到我死去的那一天 Until my dying day
是的 亲爱的 Yeah, baby
来点蛋糕吗？ Nice bit of cake?
哦 保姆娇 各位… Oh, Nanny Jo, everybody...
对不起 我们花了这么长时间才来到这里 Sorry it's taken us so crazy long to get here.
我们很高兴你们都能来 We're so glad you could all make it.
你们是 克普夫妇 对吗？是的 You're the Kepps, right? Yeah.
我妈妈说你的薯条更好吃 My mom says your fries are better
比我爸爸所有的餐厅做的好吃 than the ones in all of my dad's diners.
我可是没想到今天能够听到这话 Well, that's not what I thought I'd leave with here today,
但这是一件好事 所以谢谢你 but it's something, so thank you.
当然 Sure.
我们希望你们一切顺利 We hope it all works out for you.
如果那样 就很棒 It'd be great if it did.
华特表哥？我很高兴你能来 Cousin Walter? I'm glad you could come.
谢谢你的邀请 Thank you for inviting me.
简直令人惊异 It was simply amazing.
真正美好的一天 Truly wonderful day.
哦 谢谢你 Oh, thank you.
他是个了不起的家伙 是啊 He's such a great guy. Yeah.
很抱歉今天离你这么远 Sorry about being so far away from you today.
不 No.
我觉得我们甚至不在同一个地方 你知道吗？ I felt like we weren't even in the same place, you know?
不 不管你在哪张桌子 都是同一场婚礼 对吧？ No. It's the same wedding no matter what table you're at, right?
是啊 Yeah.
我很高兴你过来了 因为我刚说我太累了 I'm so glad you came over because I was just saying I'm so tired.
我得出去了 哦 好的 是啊 Gonna head out. Oh. Okay. Yeah.
好的 所以… Okay, so...
你看上去真漂亮！谢谢您 You look so beautiful. Thank you.
恭喜你 祝福你 And congratulations or best wishes
或任何你应该听到的话 or whatever you're supposed to say.
这很棒 And this was great.
再见 伙计们 Bye, guys.
愿您拥有一个愉快的晚上 Have a good night.
嘿 Hey
我知道我可能是最后一个 I know I'm probably the last person
在这个世界上你想再次看到的人 in the world you ever want to see again.
我明白的 完全理解 And I get that. Totally understand.
可能你很愤怒 不得不 And it will probably suck for you to have to
在任何情况下再见到我 see me again under any circumstances
这就是为什么我想说 which is why I wanted to say that
无论我们之间发生了什么 又怎么结束 whatever happened between us and however it ended
我想 你知道 I think, you know,
我可以是一个非常好的爸爸 I could be a really good dad,
也许 如果你只是… probably, if you'll just...
如果你会让我 If you'll let me.
所以 就是这样 So, that's it.
再见 Goodbye.
你在做什么？ What are you doing?
我不知道你是怎么修复好这个的 I don't know how you fixed this,
但它确实意味着很多 but it really meant a lot.
很好 你们都在太棒了 Well, it's been so great to catch up with you all.
我希望你们都得去跳舞 I hope you all got to dance
尽情自我满足 to your heart's content.
你还有藏着那只金鸟吗？ Do you still have the golden bird?
哦 保姆娇 Oh, Nanny Jo.
你都不记得了 是吗？ You don't even remember it, do you?
不 我当然记得 No, of course I do.
我不知道为什么我会为此感到尴尬 I don't know why I should be embarrassed about this,
但在你给我后 我几乎是立即丢失了它 but I lost it almost immediately after you gave it to me.
我哭得那么厉害 泰迪把他的给了我 I cried so hard Teddy gave me his.
他总是那么好 He was always good like that.
弗兰西 我们该走了 Francie, we should go.
好的 Okay.
再次感谢大家的光临 Thanks again for coming, everyone.
没有你们就不一样了 It wouldn't have been the same without you.
请到台上去 Please proceed to the docks
送别道格拉斯葛罗斯基先生和太太 to see off Mr. and Mrs. Douglas Grotsky.
你们这些人怎么了？ What is it with you people?
泰迪 米勒是我见过最可爱的孩子 Teddy Millner is the sweetest child I've ever known.
- 泰迪！ - 泰迪！ - Teddy! - Teddy!
我没看见他 I don't see him.
他上车了吗？泰迪！ Did he get on? Teddy!
泰迪！ Teddy!
我的老天爷！ On, my God!
等等 Wait!
太晚了！对不起！ Too late! Sorry!
我错了！ I was wrong!
什么？ What?
真是疯狂！是的！就是如此！ It's crazy! It is! It so is!
真是疯狂！经过一切之后 It's crazy! After everything.
甜心 你在让自己难堪 Sweetheart, you're embarrassing yourself!
闭嘴 妮基 Shut up, Nikki!
闭嘴 什么？ Shut up. What?
我不能不爱你 I can't not be in love with you.
你一直在搞砸事情 You screw up all the time.
但我也这样 甚至更糟糕！ But so do I. Way worse!
很棒的祝酒词 伙计们！ 晚安！ Great toast, folks! Goodnight!
那孩子是个错误 The baby's a screwup!
完美 谢谢 这孩子是… Perfect, thank you. The baby is a...
等等 什么孩子？ Wait, what baby?
这是一个很大的错误！这是这个完美的错误！ It's a great screwup! It's this perfect screwup!
什么？ What?
我不想让被任何人失望 除了你！ I don't want to be disappointed by anybody but you!
我不想让任何人失望 除了你 And I don't want to disappoint anybody but you.
你在说什么？ What are you saying?
拜托 Please.
那人是汤弗 不是吗？ It was Tom Fo, wasn't it?
是谁又有什么关系呢？ What does it matter who?
没关系 一点也不 Doesn't matter, not at all.
我只喜欢做个好侦探 I just like being a good detective.
给我一些信息 Gives me something.
嗯 他从来没有出现 Well, he never showed up,
所以真的不要在意是谁 so it really doesn't matter who.
你知道他们怎么说吗？“出现露面”就是百分之九十的爱 You know what they say? Showing up is 90% of love.
是的 其他的百分之十就是“不要成为一个混蛋” Yeah, and not being an asshole is the other 10%.
他没有出现 而我出现了 He didn't show up. I did.
不 你没有 No, you didn't.
我也没有 Neither did I.
还有 我们认为应该在一起的人们 And the people we were supposed to become together,
他们从来没有出现 they never showed up.
有没有一次机会 你会为我做那件事？ Was there ever a time you would have done that for me?
就像 隔着一个湖大声呼喊我 Just, like, shout out across a lake at me,
在一群陌生人面前 in front of a bunch of strangers,
喊出你是对我的真实感受是什么？ about how you really felt about me?
我们总是在陌生人面前大喊大叫 We shout at each other in front of strangers all the time.
我把这当成是一个“拒绝” I'll take that as a no.
你愿意为我做那件事吗？ Would you do that for me?
那么 是那时候的你还是现在的你呢？ Well, the you then or you now?
我是一样的 I'm the same.
不 我是一样的 No, I'm the same.
不 不是的 No, not really.
那个和我结婚的碧娜不会出轨 The Bina I married would never cheat on me.
嗯 那个和我结婚的杰瑞… Well, the Jerry I married...
什么？ What?
那个和我结婚的杰瑞什么？ The Jerry you married what?
我怎么不同了？ How am I different?
因为我没有 Because I'm not.
所以停止说我有不同 太不公平了 So stop saying I am. It's not fair.
和我结婚的杰瑞爱着我 The Jerry I married loved me.
是的 我当时就是这么想的 好的 Yeah, that's what I thought. Okay.
我们很可笑 We're ridiculous.
我们很可笑？ We're ridiculous?
是的 每个人都很可笑 杰瑞！ Yeah, everyone is ridiculous, Jerry!
好吗？你得处理它 因为是你必须做的 Okay? You deal with it 'cause you have to!
是吗？ 是的 是的！ 这才是人生呀！ Do you? Yeah, you do! That's life!
你真可笑而且一团糟！ You're ridiculous and a mess!
你仍然希望你能找到某个人 And you still hope that you'll find someone
一个认为你足够好值得被爱的人 who'll think that you're okay enough to be loved.
这就是生活吗？是的 它是 Is that what life is? Yeah, it is.
真奇怪 你现在还不知道这个！ And it's really weird that you don't know that by now!
我们在哪里？ Where are we?
那些家伙呢？ Guys?
他们去哪里了？ Where did they go?
这路走错了 That's the wrong way.
我不知道我们要走哪条路 Well, I don't know which way we're going.
这里没有捷径吗？ 我们错过了 Wasn't there a shortcut here? We missed it.
我指出过路的 I showed up.
哦 我听到你说的了 Oh, I heard what you said
对那七号桌的哑巴女孩说的 to the dumb girl at table seven.
嗯 我说的不太好 Well, I didn't word it right.
不 你很好 No, you're okay.
祝贺你 Congratulations.
嘿 我有这些 我在四三〇号房 Hey, I got these. Room 430.
也许过几年后再说 Maybe in a couple of years.
等等 真的吗？ Wait, really?
好了 已经订好了 几年之后 Okay, it's booked. A few years from now.
四三〇号房 我一定会来的 Room 430. I'll be there!
我会在几年后见你！ I'll see you in a couple of years!
太棒了 Yes!
嘿 Hey.
还有什么吗？ Is there anything left?
除非你细数那曾经欢乐过后的惆怅 Not unless you count the lingering melancholy that once was joy.
她指的是蛋糕 She means cake.
哦 然后 是的 Oh. Then, yeah.
谢谢您 Thank you.
它好吃吗？ Is it good?
是的 真的很好吃 Yeah, really good.
哦 狗屎 Oh, shit.
你说什么？哦 我的老天爷！ What did you say? Oh, my Lord!
天啊！ Holy shit!
你刚才说什么了？这是… What did you say back there? It was...
你做了什么？ What did you do?
很难接受的 It was hard to hear,
你知道 就像 风和妮基 you know, with, like, the wind and Nikki
在我耳朵里 然后 in my ear, and then,
当我上了栏杆 大家就开始大叫 when I got on the railing, everybody started shouting.
然后到了水下 你不能 And then underwater, you can't,
就像 在水下听到任何声音 like, hear anything underwater.
但听起来像 But it sounded like,
你知道的 you know,
你接近了一些好的东西 you were getting to something good.
这就像 Uh... It was like
关于如何 如果你 狗屎 about how, if you're, shit,
准备好 就像 那个总是会原谅我的人 ready to be, like, the person who always forgives me,
然后我想做那个会永远原谅你的人 then I want to be the person who always forgives you.
我不知道 会比那更好 I don't know, it was better than that.
太好了 That's really good.
我们能做那个吗？ Can we do that?
让我们做那个 好的 Let's do that. Okay.
我们努力向前走 Moving forward using all my breath
让对你的爱做到最好 Making love to you was never second best
我看见世界在围绕着你的脸上颠簸 I saw the world thrashing all around your face
永远也不相信充满伪装和陷阱 Never really knowing it was always mesh and lace
我将停止这个世界 和你一起融化 I'll stop the world and melt with you
你已经看清了差异 You've seen the difference
会一直越来越好 And it's getting better all the time
没有什么你和我都不会做的 There's nothing you and I won't do
我将停止这个世界 和你一起融化 I'll stop the world and melt with you
梦想更好的生活 善良的人永不仇恨 Dream of better lives The kind which never hate
你应该明白 You should see
停止想像的优雅 Dropped in a state of imaginary grace
你应该明白 You should know better
我走一趟朝圣之旅 来拯救人类 I made a pilgrimage to save this human's race
你应该明白 You should see
晚安 妈妈 Goodnight, Mom.
晚安 泰迪 Goodnight, Teddy.
再见 卡萝 Bye, Carol.
以为你没有家人 Thought you didn't have family.
华特 对你不利的证据越来越多 The evidence is mounting up against you, Walter.
仁佐 你的学习伙伴在这里 Renzo, your study buddy is here!
嘿 这是你的邮件 Hey. Here's your mail.
谢谢 Thanks.
你好 Hi.
请不要甩门 即使是为了干那事 Please don't slam the door, even for that.
铃戈？ Ringo??
你会让它胖的 You're gonna make him fat.
哦 是的 我是让它胖点 Oh, yeah, I am.
好吧 我们让它胖点 Well, We are.
给你铃戈 Here you go, Ringo.
好吧 你确定你没有忘记任何人？ Okay, you're sure you didn't forget anybody?
我告诉过你一百万次了 好吗？我没有忘记任何人 I told you a million times, okay? I didn't forget anybody.
对不起 谢谢你 Sorry. Thank you.
不客气 You're welcome.
好了 这是最后一批… Okay, so this is the last batch of...
泰迪 孩子在哪里？ Teddy, where's the baby?
亲爱的 哦 伙计 Baby. Oh, man!
来吧 伙计 我知道 对不起 Come on, man. I know, I'm sorry.
只是 你知道 如果你忘记了孩子… It's just, you know, if you forget the baby...
我不确定我相信你 当你说 I'm not sure I believe you when you say
你没有忘记我们的朋友 you didn't forget any of our friends.
你好！ Hi!
他在这里 哦！ Here he is. Aw!
世界上最好的爸爸 你不会忘记的 The world's best dad when you don't forget
我们的孩子在空空的公寓 our baby in the empty apartment.
谢谢你 不客气 Thank you. You're welcome.
你好 我悲伤的心 Hello, my old heart