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嗨 我是杰克温顿 Hi, I'm Jake Winton.
如果你现在正收看这个视频 If you're receiving this video,
说明你已经投资了"爱思想" it means that you have invested in MINDS I.
爱思想
同时也意味着我们已经筹集了250万美元 It also means that we have raised $2.5 million
来发展当今市场上最炙手可热的 to start production on the sickest piece
可穿戴科技设备 of wearable technology on the market today.
而且比我们其他任何的竞争者都要划算得多 It's also much more affordable than any of our competitors.
我不打算提任何的名字 I'm not gonna name any names,
但我想你们都了然于胸 but I think you know who you are.
我要告诉你的是 在如今的市场上 I'm telling you, there is no other product
没有任何一款产品 像我们的"爱思想"那样 on the market today that is as comprehensive,
应用广泛 使用方便 狂霸酷炫吊炸天 easy to use, and fucking cool as MINDS I.
"爱思想"-我们已经看到了可行性技术的未来
连线杂志 科技博客 Wired Magazine, TechCrunch,
可行性技术
以及其他一大堆媒体都这样认为 and a whole mess of other media agree.
听着 我不是它的发明者 我是名投资者 Look, I'm not an inventor. I'm an investor.
我所有的家当都投入这个产品了 All of my money is in this product.
我能一眼识好货 I know a good thing when I see it,
我也想让你们大家都能看到这款产品 and I want you guys to see it all,
谢谢大家 so thank you.
不客气 And you're welcome.
成人初学者
♪ 在晨曦的微光中下床 ♪ ♪ Out of bed in the morning light ♪
♪ 太阳初升 拉上了夜晚的帷幕 ♪ ♪ The sun is rising closing out the night ♪
翻译 未染
♪ 一路沿着海岸线出了港口 ♪ ♪ Off the coast making our way out of the harbor ♪
格什 恭喜了 她爸爸出狱了 Gersh, congrats, her dad's out of jail.
大爱温莎 Love the Windsor.
温莎 伦敦西部城市
翻译 锤锤
查特克夫 谢谢你的肉包架 Chatakov, thank you for the pork bun rack.
山姆 你没有被邀请 你不能呆在这 Sam, you're not on the list, you can't be here.
嘿兄弟 解开你的腰带吧 别在我家乱扯好吗 Hey, dude, take off the braided belt. No bullshit in my house, okay?
翻译 樂樂
这是哈德森家好吗 It's Hudson's apartment.
迪克 按照他说的做 Do what he says, Dick.
- 混蛋 - 你能拿下的 迪克 - Dick. - You're gonna kill it, Dick.
翻译 晴天
我们又需要一笔七万五的资金 We're in for another 75K.
这可是不小的数目 This launch is gonna be huge.
当我环顾四周 我看到了很多 When I look around this room, I see so many people
我爱的人...爱他们的钱 that I love... for their money.
翻译 喵大热
但是我在这说的话是我真正想表达的 But this is where I say something that I really mean.
翻译 风知道你
我真的非常感谢你们来这的所有人 I really want to thank you guys all for being here
把你们的金钱 你们的时间 and investing your money and your time
以及你们的信任投入到"爱思想"上 and your trust into MINDS I.
翻译 Mackenzie
从现在起的一周后 你们会对这个项目 You are all gonna be so much more interesting to talk to
谈论的津津乐道 at a dinner party a week from now,
同时 还能还能财源滚滚 and you are gonna have so much more money on paper.
校对 范范
为"爱思想"干杯 To MINDS I.
还行 Not bad.
现在请大家尽情享用香槟酒吧 Now, please, everybody enjoy their champagne.
校对 剑大人
里面全是气泡 所以 It's filled with rufies, so we're gonna have
我们今晚会过的相当愉快 a good fucking time tonight.
后期 Lucy
天哪你们几个 这场面太火热了 Oh, my God, you guys, that is so hot.
嗯 对啊 Mmm, yeah, it is.
有谁想喝咖啡吗 Who wants a cup of coffee?
压制 小e
给我来一杯吧 Mmm... I do. Yes.
嘿律师兄弟 告诉我你又拉到好几场演示会 Hey, lawyer man, tell me you're bringing by more demos.
人们喜欢被科技迷的眼花缭乱 People want their eyes to get fucked by technology.
哈德森 别这样 Hudson, please.
他们是制造商 They're the manufacturer.
你什么意思 什么叫他们生产不出来这部分 What do you mean, they can't manufacture the part?
哦不 靠 No, no, fuck.
听好了 那可是天朝 是块大肥肉啊 Look, it's China, it's a big-ass country.
我们再找别人来做这部分 可以吗 We'll just find someone else to make the part, okay?
这事儿别伸张 让发布会顺利完成 We just need to keep this quiet and keep the launch smooth.
你从科技博客上看到的 是吗 You're reading this off of TechCrunch, aren't you?
天哪 已经传播出去了 Jesus Christ. It's already out.
你们就把我扔在这吗 You guys are gonna leave me in here?
♪ 我们会活出自我 我们会活出自我 ♪ ♪ We'll be on our own We'll be on our own ♪
♪ 我们会活出自我 ♪ We'll be on our ♪
畜生 B dog.
怎么了 你是让你老妈子来做的产品调研吗 What, did you have your fucking mom do the production research?
我妈死了 My mom's dead.
- 没错 - 但是我们会 - Right. - But we're gonna find
找到新的制造商搞定一起的 a new manufacturer and make this right.
去死吧 你个傻逼 Fuck you, fuck head.
电话已经接通了 真棒 Already on the phone, I love it.
是的 不 我在回家的路上 他的钱全都没了 Yeah, no, I'm on my way home. He... he lost all the money.
拜拜 See you, man.
几点了 What time is it?
伙计 我们会每天都一起看太阳升起的 We are gonna watch the sun rise every day together, dude,
直到你哪天想开了 until your soul is healed.
我不能呆在这 Oh, I can't stay here.
车票 Tickets.
请把车票拿出来 Get your tickets out, please.
抱歉 我不记得... I'm sorry, I forget where...
不记得放在哪了 噢在这呢 I put it. There it is.
后座会让很多人晕车想吐的 Going backwards makes a lot of people nauseous.
我不想吐 Yeah, I don't get nauseous, man.
新罗谢尔 马上就到 New Rochelle. Be there in no time.
诶我钱哪去了 Hey, man, where's my money?
我曾经天真地相信了你 给我回个电话 I trusted you, give me a call...
嘿 多棒的舞会啊 把我生活都毁了 Hey, great party. Way to fuck up my life.
不要给凯特发短信了好吗 她把你甩了伙计 Stop texting Kat, okay? She broke up with you, dude.
就这样 她跟你玩完了 The end, she's done.
嘿杰克 我孩子这个夏天 Hey, Jake, my kids aren't going to camp
去不了夏令营了 我谢谢你啊兄弟 this summer. Thanks, buddy.
我只是想让你知道 I just wanted to let you know
这周末的聚会你可能还是不要来比较好 that you probably shouldn't come to the reunion this weekend.
你最好赶快找到另外的制作商 You better find another fucking manufacturer...
嘿杰克 我想你去告诉我妻子 Hey, Jake, I want you to tell my wife that she's probably
她可能需要再找第二份工作了 gonna have to get a second job. I changed your name
我已把你的备注改成"生活毁灭者" in my phone to "life ruiner."
杰克 下个礼拜我的生日派对你不要来了 Jake, don't come to my birthday party next week.
我想给你发语音邮件 I wanted to leave you a voice mail
以至于你能听到我的声音 so you could hear in my voice
多么失望多么生气多么愤怒 how disappointed and angry and pissed I am!
嘿 Hey.
是我 杰克 你弟弟 我给你发了信息 It's Jake, your brother. I left you messages.
我不知道... Well, I had no idea...
你来这干什么 嗨 What are you doing here? Hi.
你不再接电话了吗 Do you not answer your phone anymore?
我知道 是的 对我来说基本不可能讲电话的 I know, yeah, it's basically impossible for me to talk on the phone.
嗨 进来吧 你好 Hi... come in, hi.
你好 Hi.
你还好吗 Whoa. You all right?
没事 我很好 No, it's good. I'm good, I'm fine.
我怀孕了 I'm pregnant.
真的吗 特迪不是昨天才出生吗 Really? Wasn't Teddy born, like, yesterday?
他都三岁了 He's three.
是吗 He is?
你肚子里还怀着一个吗 And there's another one in there?
看起来里面空空如也 There's like nothing going on with this belly.
抱歉我只是...我不喜欢别人摸他 Sorry, I just... I don't like people touching it.
但是你可以摸的 But you can touch it.
没关系 我不碰任何东西 No, it's fine, I don't need to touch anything.
你怀孕多久了 So how pregnant are you?
13个礼拜 13 weeks.
你怎么没戴眼镜呢 Why aren't you wearing your glasses?
我做了激光手术 I got Lasik.
你做手术了呀 You had surgery?
你做手术前不告诉别人你是不会做的 You don't have surgery without telling people.
我是能收到你做手术的消息的 I could have come in for that.
你什么时候做的 When did you do it?
不记得了去年吧 I don't know. Last year.
你眼睛看上去有好多小虫子一样 Your eyes look kind of buggy.
是的要的就是这效果 Yeah, that's what I was going for.
也许你应该检查下你的甲状腺有没有问题 Maybe you should check your thyroid.
你应该检查你的甲状腺 You should check your thyroid.
抱歉 这是特迪醒来的杰作 Sorry, this is Teddy's wake of destruction.
跨过那只乌龟找个地方坐 Just step over that turtle, and have a seat.
特迪哪去了 特迪! Where is Teddy? Teddy!
他在托儿所 我有个早会 He's actually at daycare, and I have a early meeting,
所以你能留下来吃晚餐吗 so can you stay for dinner?
好的 我睡这方便吗 Yeah. Is it cool if I crash here?
今晚是吗 当然可以 Tonight? Sure.
噢你别坐那 真是抱歉 Oh, don't sit there. Sorry, that's where
那是特迪把他的树叶宝宝放那睡觉的地方 Teddy puts his leaf babies to sleep.
噢那是他树叶宝宝在睡觉 是的 Oh, that's where his leaf babies sleep, of course.
的确说得过去 That makes perfect sense.
那你要呆多久呢 So, how long do you need to stay?
几个晚上吧 For a couple nights.
那包真大 That's a big bag.
是的 当我的小宇宙爆发的时候 Yeah, well, I couldn't cram everything into a little bag
我总不能把所有东西都塞进小包吧 when my entire world imploded upon itself.
你看起来并没有那么专心 You don't seem very focused.
是吗 我很专注的 Huh? I'm focused.
我在认真听你说也在认真叠衣服 I'm focused on you and on folding this laundry
也在注意时间不要迟到 怎么了 and on not being late. What is going on?
基本上你可以用你生命里的最后三年 Well, you can basically take the last three years of my life
点亮你的整个生命 公司玩蛋了 and light them on fire. Company's fucked.
我女朋友把我甩了 人们讨厌我 My girlfriend dumped me. People hate me.
你是损失了很多钱吗 Oh. Did you, uh, lose a lot of money?
是的 不 我损失的是我所有的钱 Oh, yeah, no, I lost, uh, all of my money and then some,
还有 and then
还有就是我也让很多其他人的钱也白白损失 I lost a lot of other people's money,
真是惊人的可怕 which feels surprisingly terrible.
伙计 你能请一天假吗 Dude, can you just take the day off?
不 我不能 我最近已经大量外出了 I can't. I-I've been out a lot lately
我的当事人都开始怀疑我的委托程度了所以 and my principal is tracking my level of commitment, so...
随便吧 Whatever.
杰克你会好起来的 You're gonna be fine, Jake.
那些人去死吧 我跟这城市玩完了 Fuck those people. I'm done with the city.
你衬衫扣错了 Your shirt's buttoned wrong.
靠 谢了 Oh. Shit. Thanks.
那如果我在这住几个月能行吗 三个月可以吗 So, if it's a couple of months, Is that okay? Three months?
天哪 三个月吗 Jesus, three months?
我很抱歉 I'm sorry
我没有计划到我的生活会支离破碎 I didn't schedule my life falling apart
这对你有好处吗 better for you?
我不是这个意思 That's not what I'm saying. You just...
你带着这么多行李出现在这 You show up here with your big bag,
但是你至少一年都没有来过了 and you haven't been out here for at least a year.
特迪生日的时候我在 I was here for Teddy's birthday.
我们邀请你了但是你没来 We invited you and you didn't come.
我想去的好吗 Well, I wanted to be there, okay?
那是很有意义的一件事 That counts for something.
我得跟丹尼谈谈 I have to talk to Danny.
征求他允许之类的吗 Like ask him permission?
是要问问他 Like have a conversation where I ask him
你跟我们住三个月他会怎么想 how he feels about you living with us for three months
因为他是我老公 because he's my husband.
你能回答我 Can you answer me as to why there are
为什么这房子里有那么多新的壁灯 so many new sconces around the house?
我们打算把房子卖了 We're trying to sell the house.
你现在能不卖掉我们童年时的房子吗 Could you maybe not sell our childhood home right now?
求你了 Please?
真的很抱歉杰克 听着 I'm really sorry, Jake. Look, just...
出去逛逛 想吃什么就吃吧 Just hang out, and eat whatever you want,
我今晚会回来我们一起吃晚餐 and I'll be home tonight and we can all have dinner.
好的 Okay.
这房里好冷 It's freezing in this house.
能拜托你帮我拿件毛衣吗 Can you get me a sweatshirt, please?
卧槽 你把木头都搞坏了 Ah! Fuck you, you pressed wood piece of shit.
看看谁来了 Oh, look who it is.
睡得好吗 Good nap?
是的 我都忘了我在哪了 Yeah, I forgot where I was.
你穿着鞋躺在我床上 You were in my bed with your shoes on.
没关系的 It's okay.
嘿真抱歉 听说了这一切事情 Hey, sorry to hear about, you know, everything.
不用担心 Oh, no worries.
所以你要把那个门也替换成更多的壁灯吗 So you gonna replace that door with more sconces?
我们正在打造胡桃 贾斯汀和特迪在楼上 We're doing reclaimed walnut. Justine and Teddy are upstairs.
那我上去跟他们打声招呼 Oh, I'll go say hi to them.
知道吗 别 别去 You know what, no, no, don't do that.
她没睡好很烦躁 She's pretty upset about that nap.
不如来给我搭把手吧 Why don't you be my little helper?
帮我把门卸下来 Help me take the door off.
你知道我在公寓挂幅画都要花钱请人的 You know I pay a guy to hang pictures in my apartment.
伙计 这很容易的 Dude, it's very easy.
你拿着这个放在这... You just take this, put it in there...
- 然后呢 - 然后瞧着吧 - Uh-huh. - And then look.
就这么爽 Exciting.
- 我需要护目镜吗 - 不用的 - Do I need goggles? - No, dude.
- 就像这样吗 - 是的 - Like that? - Yeah.
- 哇 真棒 - 快看快看 - Oh, ho. - Lookit, lookit.
- 嘿! - 嘿 天哪 - Hey! - Hey! Holy shit!
- 嘿 - 特迪 - Hey. - Teddy!
舅舅 Unky!
看看你多大了 你就像个成年小伙子 Look how big you are! You're like an adult man.
我正抱着个成年小伙子 I'm holding an adult man!
我有张放火车的桌子 I have a train table.
是的 我刚用了个电动螺丝刀 Yeah, I just used an electric screwdriver.
我们一起浪吧! Let's go crazy!
我们早上再浪 Let's go crazy in the morning.
我们进来道晚安的 We just came in to say goodnight.
就晚安了吗 才几点 Good night? What time is it?
七点四十五 是该看看书睡觉了 7:45. Time for books and bed.
怎么了 What?
靠 那也就是说我要睡九个小时 Shit, that means I've been sleeping for, like, nine hours.
九个半小时 Nine in a half.
天哪 要睡那么久啊 Shucks, that's a long nap.
我靠 Shucks!
你不能因为别人睡觉就生气 You can't get mad at people for napping.
伙计 我们对任何一个睡觉的人都会发火 Dude, we get mad at anybody who gets any sleep.
好了妖怪先生我们要把你带进去了 Okay, Mr. Monster Man, let's bring it in.
- 家庭的拥抱 - 带进来 - Family hug. - Bring it in.
- 家庭的拥抱 拜托 - 不 - Family hug. Come on. - No!
我饿了我要吃点东西... I'm hungry, I'm gonna have to eat some of... grr.
不 你不能把他吃掉 好吧 No, you can't eat him! All right.
我们开动晚餐吧 I'll start dinner.
- 嗨 - 晚安 - Hi. - Good night.
- 好的 - 晚安 - Okay. - Good night!
晚安特迪 Night, Teddy.
那是什么 What is that?
- 这个人 - 那是... - This guy. - Is that that...
那是闪灵的主题曲吗 Is that that song from The Shining?
是的 这个人想弄死我 Yeah, this guy wants to kill me.
我喜欢那首歌 I love that song.
天啊你们吃起来就像流浪狗 Jeez, You guys are eating like rescue dogs.
我知道我们得吃慢点 I know, we got to slow down.
你有跟他说吗 You talk to him yet?
没有 No.
什么 What?
我要在这呆上几个月 I need to stay here for a few months.
好的 当然 Yeah, sure.
什么 What?
我姐姐在那次精神失常之后就辍学了 My sister moved back in with my parents
搬回跟她父母住了 after she had that nervous breakdown,
他情况也这样 dropped out of school. Same thing.
是的 我的情况类似 Yeah, it's the same thing as that.
我还没有机会跟他说这事 I haven't had a chance to talk to him yet.
我可以里里外外搭把手 I can help out around the house,
买些杂货 修修东西什么的 buy groceries, build stuff,
有需要的话我都可以把墙里的屎抠出来 rip shit out of walls as needed.
你想照看特迪吗 You want to watch Teddy?
是的当然 如果你们在镇上过夜 Yeah, sure. I'll watch cartoons with him
我可以跟他一起看动画片 while you guys have a night on the town.
每隔一周我都可以的 I could do that, like, every other week.
他可以照看泰迪 He can watch Teddy.
你是说照顾他一样的照看他吗 You mean like "watch him" watch him?
- 不是 - 拜托 兄弟 - No. - Come on, dude.
日托烂透了 脏死了 That day care sucks. It's not clean.
孩子还总是舔玩具 The kids are always licking the toys, and...
上周有个孩子患了百日咳 One got whooping cough last week.
那里搞得像黑暗时期一样 Yeah, it's fucking dark ages there.
除此之外 他还可以缓解财政危机 Plus, he'll help us out money-wise.
我们没有破产 We're not broke.
好吧 Well...
什么 What?
什么情况 Hi. What the fuck's going on?
我 I...
没什么 Nothing, it's... Well,
直截了当说吧 I guess... The idea on the table
你留下来几个月 照看泰迪 is that you... stay for a few months, and you look after Teddy.
我要说的是购买食品杂货 Guys, I'm talking about, like, buying groceries,
我需要你让我好受些 I need you to make me feel better.
拜托 你个衰人 他很可爱的 Come on, you fuck. He's cute.
你需要打流感疫苗 You need to get a flu shot.
钱我们垫着 从你工资里面扣除 We'll take care of it, dock it out of your pay, or whatever.
- 或者我们现在支付工资 - 不能不付 - Oh, we're paying him now? - We can't not.
不能不付 能付多少啊 Can't not. How much we talking about?
- 三百 - 一天吗 - 300. - A day?
估计 是一周 A week, maybe.
接受吧 兄弟 You should take it, bro.
好吧 Fine.
棒极了 我去拿点布雷耶冰淇淋 Awesome! I'm gonna get the Breyers.
你真的要这么做吗 You seriously gonna do this?
你知道我有酒驾记录的 You know I have a DUI, right?
你不相信我能带孩子的 You don't trust me with your kid?
怀疑至极 Absolutely.
兄弟 住老房间哦 Dude! The old room.
我需要大概四个人清除那些东西 不好意思啊 I'm gonna need, like, four guys to get rid of that thing. Sorry.
瞧 你笨蛋似的成人礼画像还在这里 Look, left your dope-ass Bar Mitzvah thing up.
我还真是兴趣广泛啊 Guess I had a lot of interests.
依然够酷 Still badass.
你还好吗 想要聊聊吗 Are you okay? Do you want to talk?
不用了 我很好 No, I'm good.
门开着还是关上 Open or closed?
关上 Closed.
晚安 Good night.
嘿 这样安排你觉得还好吧 Hey, so you're cool, right, with the whole thing?
- 嗯 - 真的吗 - Yeah. - Yeah?
不错 Fine.
那就好 Okay.
他自己决定何时去留 He decides when he comes and when he goes, you know.
都随便他 Whatever works for him.
所以我们要谈一谈咯 Okay, so we are gonna talk about it?
不用不用 我说完了 No, no, I'm sorry. I'm done.
- 真的吗 - 真的 - Yeah? - Yeah.
那好 Okay.
他都不知道泰迪的年龄 You know, he doesn't even know how old Teddy is.
不用 我的意思是 just don't... I mean,
他好像对什么事都不上心 it's not like he has to get him anything.
他就像我爸爸 神马都是浮云 我 He's just like my dad. Everything's a fly-by, I...
他突然出现 就像 He just shows up here like...
我下床去喝杯可乐 Okay, I'm gonna go and drink a coke
- 我们就可以接着聊 - 不用了 - so we can keep talking about it. - No, it's fine.
真的不用了 我讲完了 No, it's fine, it's fine. I...
他是我的弟弟 He's my brother.
好吧 Okay.
该死 我忘记去刷牙了 Fuck, I forgot to brush my teeth.
吐在这里 pit in this.
爱你 I love you.
- 对不起 没听清 - 我爱你 - I'm sorry, I didn't... - I love you.
跳呀跳 I'm jumping.
停下来 泰迪 Stop. Stop, Teddy.
这么早 小家伙 不要在床上蹦跶 好吗 Too early, buddy. Stop jumping on the bed, okay?
七点了 我们都起来两个小时了 It's 7:00. We've been up for two hours.
- 什么 - 真的呢 - What? - Yeah.
真的吗 怎么可能 He has? How's that possible?
疯了吧 That's crazy.
在往下陷耶 It's going down!
你能 我真的感受到了 你呢 Can you... I really feel it. Can you?
我也能 Yeah, I can feel it.
杰克叔叔需要喝咖啡 才能和你玩 好吗 Unky Jake needs a little coffee, and then I'll be ready to play, okay?
咖啡豆 Coffee bean!
咖啡豆 Coffee beans!
"以前我只能溅起小水花" "I used to just splash.
"现在我能激起大波浪" Now I make waves.
"以前我很害羞 现在我很勇敢" "I used to be shy. Now I am brave.
"以前我只是旁观者 现在我是实干家" "I used to just watch. Now I can dig.
"以前我很弱小 现在我很强大" I used to be little. Now I am big."
听这玩意儿你怎么不睡觉 How is this not putting you to sleep?
杰克叔叔拉便便时 Okay, Teddy's gonna be a good boy
泰迪要做小乖乖哦 while Unky Jake does his business.
不 泰迪 那玩意儿不能玩 No, Teddy, you can't play with that.
那是个很重的玻璃镇纸 That is a heavy glass paperweight.
喔喔喔喔 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
小家伙 你可不能这样玩玻璃 You can't play with glass like that, buddy.
好了 Okay.
等一下 我们要处理一下这事 Hold on a second, we're gonna deal with this.
最好是个紧急事件 This better be an emergency.
这很紧急 Yeah, no, this is an emergency.
要他不破坏东西 我都不能去上厕所 I can't even go to the bathroom without him breaking something.
不夸张地说 I'm here with a student
我和一个比你聪明一百万倍的学生在一起 who is literally a million times smarter than you.
她会进哈佛 She's gonna get into Harvard.
我要怎么破 Well, what am I supposed to do?
杰克 把门开着 Jake, just leave the door open.
我试过了 I tried leaving the door open,
但是你的小恶魔就是不听话 but your devil child wouldn't listen to me.
不好意思 是我弟弟 I'm sorry, it's my little brother.
他有点蠢 He's kind of an idiot.
天哪 我弟弟也是个白痴 Oh my God, mine's an effing moron.
你真的觉得我能进哈佛吗 You really think I can get into Harvard?
对啊 我相信 Yeah, I really do.
不要在这里爬 泰迪 求你了 Don't climb up there. Teddy, please,
只要给我一分钟 just give me one minute.
泰迪 那东西很脆的 Teddy, that's... it's fragile.
我知道你认为这很好玩 I know you think this is hilarious,
但是这是我人生最尴尬的事情之一 but this is one of the more embarrassing events of my life.
看着 珍 如果雪莉要在午餐时间开一次 Look, Jean, if Shirley's gonna organize a meeting with parents
关于大学预科的策略的家长会 about college prep strategy during lunch,
我需要更多的指示 I'm gonna need a little more notice.
怎么了 我们重新安排时间了吗 What's happening? Are we rescheduling?
你给我留了关于家长会的通知吗 You left me a note about a parent meeting?
是的 就在你的邮箱里 Yes, I did, right there in your mailbox.
我有电话的 I have a cell phone.
我知道你有 Yes, I know you have a cell phone.
- 到处都有 - 雪莉 - They're everywhere. - Look, Shirley,
我弟弟突然出现在我家 my brother just showed up out of nowhere
要和我们呆一起 我怀孕了 and he's staying with us. I'm pregnant.
我已经和医生预约了 I have a doctor's appointment.
听着 我确定孩子很健康 Listen, I'm sure the baby will be great,
但是我希望我和你能够更好 but I would like for you and I to be great,
这意味着我们要 and that means we gotta put a little more effort
在交流方面多做工作 into our communication. Mm-hmm.
好的 让我说清楚 Okay. So let me be clear.
你想让我错过检查孩子状况的超声波检查 You want me to miss my ultrasound appointment
仅仅因为我没有查看邮箱 to check that my baby is healthy because I didn't check my mailbox?
珍 我们重新安排了 没问题吧 Jean, we'll reschedule. Can you make that happen?
请到处看看 找下我的密码 And please look around and find my password.
我总是记不住 I can never remember it.
喂 Yeah?
嗨 婴儿车要怎么打开 Hi, uh, how do you open the stroller,
还有你什么时候回家 and what time are you coming home?
你脚踩上面 然后拉出把手 You step down on it, and then you push the handles up and out.
不能说了 我在工作 挂了 I can't talk, I'm at work. I gotta go.
我是谁 Who I am,
不是因为你想要我是谁 not for what you wanted me to be.
我只想你快乐 别无它求 I just wanted you to be happy. That's all.
天哪 Oh, my God.
坐着舒服吧 下午好 女士们 Sweet rides, right? Good afternoon, ladies.
你们从没看过孩子坐在行李箱里吗 What, you've never seen a kid in a suitcase before?
谁是小萌娃 泰迪 Who's a stud, Teddy?
是我 Me!
对了 Yeah, that's right.
行李箱小萌娃 Suitcase stud!
大家好像都不鸟我们 Kind of a beat scene, huh, Teddy?
泰迪 你为什么不玩攀吊架呢 Teddy, why don't you go hit the monkey bars for a second?
为什么你不玩钢架呢 小家伙 Yeah, why don't you go hit the jungle gym, bud.
唔 Oof.
他们现在长得真快 都可以自己玩了 They grow up so fast now, they can just play on their own.
你的儿子多大 How old's your little boy?
她是女孩 She's a girl.
毫无疑问 千真万确 No doubt, no doubt.
你也是女生 不是吗 You're a girl too, aren't you?
我是杰克 I'm Jake.
我是布兰卡 Blanca.
美白嫩肤乳吗 但是你不白啊 Blanca? But you're not white?
真有趣 Funny.
我就知道 I know, right?
真疯狂 多有趣 It's crazy. Yeah, it's funny,
- 就像 - 噗噗噗 - 'cause it's like... - Whoo! Pa-pow, pow, pow!
噗噗噗啪啪啪 Pa-pow, pow, pow, pow, pow! Pa-pow, pow!
嘿 阿明 Hey, Armin.
嘿 布兰卡 Hey, Blanca.
- 你好吗 靓妹 - 不 你才是帅哥 - How are you, gorgeous? - No, you're gorgeous.
不 乔治娅才是靓妹 你好 乔治娅 No, Georgia is gorgeous. Hello, Georgia.
嘿 如果你愿意 今天巴什和我 Hey, if you want, Bash and I are gonna go
去大海龟吃点心 have snacks on the giant turtle today,
你也被邀请了 so you are invited.
该死 忘记给泰迪吃东西了 你们有点心吗 Oh, shit, I forgot to feed Teddy. Do you have any snacks?
嘿 兄弟 注意用词 Hey, language, man.
随便吃什么 不好意思 Just a little something. I'm sorry, he...
- 喔噢 - 这是泰迪的保姆 - Wow. - So this is Teddy's nanny.
我其实是他叔叔 你"噢"是什么意思 I'm actually his uncle, and what does "oh" mean?
没什么 兄弟 只是开玩笑 Ah, nothing, man. I'm just effing with you.
嘿 你们今天是要去参加羊毛节吗 Oh, hey, are you guys going to the wool festival today?
- 对啊 - 那太好了 - Mm-hmm. - Oh, great.
你会喜欢的 他们有活羊 You're gonna love this. It's... they've got live sheep.
孩子们可以喂食 还有针织车间 The kids can pet the sheep. There's a knitting workshop.
孩子们会为之疯狂的 还有针线抛游戏 The kids go crazy for it. There's a yarn toss.
- 记得吗 我们去年去了 - 啊哈 - Remember, we went last year. - Uh-huh.
你这个披萨帽就是在那做的吗 Oh, is that where you made the pizza hat?
不是 布兰卡送的 Nope, Blanca got me this hat.
我是想说 这帽子真漂亮 'Cause I was gonna say, it's awesome.
-对啊 -大家都喜欢披萨 - Yeah. - I mean, everybody loves pizza.
我喜欢披萨 你知道的 I love pizza. You know,
我现在都不吃碳水化合物了 不过 I'm not touching carbs right now, but...
- 我们去吧 - 好啊 - We're going. - Okay, good.
糟糕 Oh, shit.
别 别用吸管吸 拿起来靠近脸 好吗 No, don't sip it from the straw. Hold it up to your face, please, okay?
就这样 像这样 There you go, like that.
- 很好 -嘿 - Good. - Hey!
嗨 小怪物 Oh. Hi, little monster.
我的心肝怎么样 还好吧 嘿 宝贝 How's my little baby? You okay, hey, honey?
他可是自由自在 I'm letting him do whatever he wants.
我们俩做的如出一辙啊 Hey, you did exactly what I would've done.
舌头和嘴唇都在流血 像个混蛋 Tongues and lips bleed like a m-o-t-h-e-r-f-u-c-k-e-r.
嘿嘿 让我瞧瞧 Hey, hey. Let me see.
我不知道你在念在什么 I don't know what you're spelling.
我打给你无数次 还发了短信 I called you, like, a gazillion times, with information.
不好意思 我把手机调成静音了 Hey, I'm sorry. I know, I had my phone on silent.
我今天要带五个学生 他们都没录上第一志愿 I had five students today who didn't get into their first choice of schools.
那情景简直是一团糟 It was an s-h-i-t-show.
- 不要碎碎念了 - 不好意思 - Just stop spelling. - I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
我得撬开他的嘴巴 看看牙齿还在吗 I had to pry his mouth open to see if his teeth were still there.
真是难于上青天啊 It was fucking rough.
天哪 你衬衫上还有血 My God, you still have baby blood on your shirt.
什么 天哪 What? Oh, my God.
天哪 Oh, my God!
好吧 嘿 让我洗吧 我来洗干净 Okay, hey, let me wash it. I'll wash it off for you.
杰克 哇喔 怎么了 钱宁·塔图姆吗 Jake. Whoa, what's up, Channing Tatum?
怎么回事 Huh? What is up with that?
这是我用孩子血写的辞职信 That is my letter of resignation written in baby blood.
行了行了 才一天 你要去哪啊 Come on, it's been one day. Where are you going?
我不知道 我只 我要出去透会儿气 I don't know, I just... I gotta go out for a little while.
我会把车开回来 然后再决定 I'll bring the car back, and then I'm gonna figure out
去哪儿 where I'm gonna go next.
杰克 算了吧 Jake, come on.
嘿嘿 Hey. Hey.
你是我的小怪物吗 Are you my little monster? Huh?
是吗 Yeah?
让我瞧瞧嘴巴 宝贝 Let me see your mouth, baby. Oh.
嘿 你抽了我的烟吗 Hey, are you smoking my cigarettes?
什么 你吸烟了 What? You're smoking?
- 没有 - 你是个白痴 - No. - You're an idiot.
- 不要朝我大吼大叫 - 我没有 - Don't yell at me. - I'm not yelling at you.
你都快是俩孩子的爹了 Please. You're about to have two kids.
不准吸烟 求你了 No cigarettes, please.
这烟还不是你的 你好歹也要问一句 And they're not yours. You have to ask.
丢了算了 Smooshed.
你知道我可以买更多 You know I can just buy more.
不能用薪水买的 Not on your salary.
晚安 白痴 Good night, assholes.
别这样亲我 痛死了 Ow. Don't kiss me so it hurts.
所以怎么办呢 So what's up?
还能怎么办 Uh, nothing.
你打算做什么 Well, what are you gonna do now?
我打算坐在这里 Well, I was gonna sit here and obsess over all the shit
反省我这几年做的傻事 I've done wrong the last few years,
然后看着精彩电视台入睡 and then probably fall asleep watching Bravo.
想要抽大麻吗 Want to smoke pot?
我可没大麻 I don't have pot.
香烟是禁区 不过她不在意抽大麻 So cigarettes are a no-fly zone but she's okay with this,
或者她不知道 or she doesn't know about this?
兄弟 我本来戒了这口的 Dude, I stopped this.
当他两岁时 我就戒了 When he turned two, I stopped.
但是她根本没叫我戒掉 And she didn't even ask me to stop.
她就好像 "你没必要戒 She was like, "You don't have to stop
因为他在长大" 'cause he's getting older,"
而我就像 "我不 我想戒掉" and I was like,"I don't... I want to stop,"
她好像是 "好啊 and she's like, "Well, you don't
你没必要想要戒掉 只是因为他在长大" have to want to stop just because he's getting older."
我就像 I-I'm like...
我不知道 兄弟 真不知道 别问了 I don't know... Dude, I don't know, stop asking questions.
嘿 喜欢这种亢奋感吗 Hey, you like the renovations?
不喜欢 No.
真不喜欢 Nah.
你喜欢熬夜这点 我觉着蛮好 I like that you like staying up late.
我喜欢熬夜 I love staying up late.
这个 这个可以让这股味散掉吗 And this... this gets the smell out?
当然可以 Fuck yeah.
真是虚幻 兄弟啊 It's unreal, man.
我为此做了这个完整的抽烟系统 I did, like, a whole system. I put fucking Joy's blanket
我把臭乔伊个我的毯子挂在这里 that she gave us... right?
怎样 棒呆了吧 That's perfect...
抽风机 这个破盒子 Fan, fucking box...
哦 该死的 但是你知道吗 Oh, shit man, but you know what?
我总是忘记做一件事 I always forget to do this.
你知道的 特迪那讨厌的小手手 You know, Teddy has got the tiniest fucking hands.
他总是到处乱摸 所以我才得这么做 He puts 'em all over everything so I have to do this.
他的手真的很小诶 His hands are tiny.
老兄 我没在搞笑 真的超级小 Dude, it's no joke. They're teeny.
- 他的手真小 - 他说 - His hand is tiny. - He says...
他妈妈 也就是你姐姐的手才小 His mom... I mean, your sister's are tiny.
他那小耳朵 啧啧啧 His little ears... his ears.
说到耳朵 你可能都看不到你姐姐的耳朵 The ears, you can't even see your sister's ears.
- 贾斯汀的吗 - 等等 那是什么 - Justine's... - Hold on, what is that?
真的有东西吗 That something?
你有什么打算吗 So what's your plan?
呃 Well...
我准备要吃遍全世界儿童版的切达奶酪 I'm gonna eat all the Cheddar Bunnies in the goddamn universe.
其他的 我就不知道还想做什么了 After that, I don't know.
你害怕吗 Are you scared?
我只是不想再重头开始罢了 I just don't want to start over again.
至少我再也不用受到死亡威胁了 At least I'm not getting death threats anymore.
卧槽 老弟 你就应该开一家奶酪店 Fuck it, dude, you should just open a cheese shop.
或者开家面包店 烤点什么派之类的 Or a bakery. Like, little, tiny pies.
那不是每个人都想要的生活吗 That's all anybody wants,
舒舒服服的 不是吗 is comfort, right?
一切正常 有17周大了 All right, 17 weeks.
好极了 Great.
如果你想要我把这个片子洗出来 我就 If you want me to film this, I...
不需要 No.
你们想知道宝宝的性别吗 Are you wanting to know the sex of the child?
别 一个字都别说 Don't. Don't say anything.
爸爸喜欢惊喜哦 Danny likes surprises.
我甚至都无法直视这个 I can't even look at this.
哦我的天啊 这是什么 Oh, my God, what is that?
怎么了 What?
- 宝贝 你真是个混蛋 - 放轻松啦 - Baby, you're an asshole. - Just relax.
宝宝看起来挺健康的 Fluid looks great.
那也是我的宝宝 Yes, my fluid.
我的宝宝看起来不错 It looks good.
歇业中 晚上7点开营业
你不可以那么开心 You can't be that happy,
毕竟你是在一家路边小店里做的桑拿 you're getting a massage in a strip mall.
哦不不不不不不不 No. No, no, no, no.
哇呜 你喝酒啦 Wow. Been drinking?
Riesling：一种干白葡萄酒
不 我刚喝了15杯半的雷司令 No. I just had, like, 31/2 glasses of Riesling.
老弟 你不能喝了酒还开我的车啊 Dude, You can't drink and drive my car.
是的 和爸爸一样唠唠叨叨 Okay, Dad.
你知道我有宝宝了呀 所以那不算黑我 You already know I have a kid, that's not really an insult.
我没喝醉 I'm not drunk.
今天怎样 Good day?
对对对 我在等酒吧开门的期间去吃了冻酸奶 Yeah, yeah, I went... got some frozen yogurt
在小溪广场附近那边 waiting for that bar to open. Cross Creek Square.
棒呆了 Awesome.
哦 那你知道那家吗 Yeah, you know that one, it's across the street
眼镜店对面那家傻不溜秋的水疗店吗 from the frame store and that sad-ass spa.
你去过那吗 You been there?
那里提供挺多服务的 Got a lot of choices over there.
你能得到所有你想要的东西 You can get whatever you want.
很多顶级的东西 所以那里的水疗怎样 A lot of toppings. So how was that spa?
还好 我不想 Okay, I don't wanna...
不想干嘛 What?
我也不知道 你看我 醉了吧 I don't know. Look at me, I'm drunk,
我明天就会记不得今天发生了什么 and I'm not even gonna remember this tomorrow.
你没醉 老弟 You're not drunk, dude.
好 听我说 Okay, listen to me.
我和我的生意伙伴一起去做了水疗 I went and I had a massage with my business associate.
我知道那听起来很不好 I know that sounds bad,
但是我们做水疗都不在同一间房间里 but we weren't even in the same room.
水疗并不怎样 It's not a good spa.
我只是进来喝果汁的 I just came in here for juice.
嘿 听着 我有点乱搞我的女朋友们 Hey, look, I fuck around on all my girlfriends a little bit,
所以别听我瞎说 我都不知道自己在说些什么 so don't listen to me. I don't even know what I'm saying.
你知道你在说什么吗 You know what you're saying.
我什么都没说啊 I'm not saying anything.
什么都没发生过 好吗 Nothing happened, okay?
除了偶尔在不同的房间里做按摩而已 Except the occasional couples massage in separate rooms.
还看见什么了 Anything else?
- 我不知道 - 我们要谈谈吗 - I don't know. - Do we need to talk?
随你 我现在要去给我的充气床充气了 Okay, I'm gonna go to my air mattress now.
把氧气的力量发挥到最大 Add the power of oxygen to every load...
当你走进一家餐厅 When you open a restaurant,
好可怕啊 因为是你让你自己去那里的 it's scary, 'cause you're putting yourself at there.
嘿 你想看点搞笑的吗 Hey. You want to watch something stupid?
怎样 比如丑八怪之类的 Hmm? Like Chopped?
我肯定在正戏还没开始前就睡着了 I'd be asleep before they even fuck up the appetizers.
贾斯汀 拜托 你知道接下来的节目是什么的 Justine, come on. You know what's on next.
国际房源猎人 House Hunters International.
走开 你在摸我的胳膊肘 Move over. You're touching my elbow.
哦 卧槽 什么鬼啊 你怎么起得这么早 Oh, shit. What... why are you up so early?
我想我们今天得花点时间共同度过了 I thought we should spend some time together today.
嗯 Okay.
因为 你知道 祭奠日 Since it's... you know, the anniversary.
妈妈15号去世的 扫墓是明天 Mom died on the 15th. It's tomorrow.
哦 你在逗我 我要回去睡觉了 Oh, you gotta be kidding me. I'm going back to bed.
别 来嘛 来嘛 既然你都已经起来了 No, no, come on, come on. You're already up.
嗨 邓肯 Hi, Duncan.
所以你打算搬到哪里去 So where are you gonna move?
我也不知道 这附近的物价太高我们承担不起 I don't know, we can't afford anything around here.
所以不要把房子卖掉 So don't sell our house.
我想卖 我想改变一下 I want to. I need a change.
我们不可能在这里住一辈子 We can't live there forever.
如果我们现在不卖掉的话 If we don't sell it now,
我们就永远都离不开这里了 we'll never leave.
哦 那是达纳·索尔敏的爸爸吗 Oh, is that Dana Sormin's dad?
嗯 他们还住在这里 Yeah. They still live here.
你得和我换一边走 You've got to switch with me.
他在我八年级的时候抓住我和他女儿谈恋爱 He caught me feeling up his daughter in eighth grade.
我不能让他看见我 I can't let him see me.
别瞎担心 Don't worry about it.
高中毕业后你变胖了很多 杰克 You've gained a lot of weight since high school, Jake.
什么 才不是变胖 是我的身体改变了形状 What? No, my body's just changed shapes.
所以这是你穿妈妈的衣服的原因吗 Is that why you're wearing Mom's coat?
- 这是妈妈的夹克吗 - 是呀 - This is Mom's coat? - Yeah.
他肯定认为我和我琳妮阿姨走在一块 He's gonna think I'm walking with my Aunt Lynne.
你好啊 女士 "Hello, Madam."
哦 你好 小甜心 "Oh, hi, sweetie.
你嫁给了那个古巴男孩是吗 You married that Cuban boy, huh?"
你知道的 古巴人和犹太人 他们真的 "You know, the Cubans and the Jews, they really...
他们真的很配 They really get along."
- 他们知道什么是压力 - 对啊 - "They understand oppression." - That's right.
表现好点 Be nice.
他从来没有同时同一个地方和我俩说过话 He never gets to talk to us in the same place at the same time.
- 表现好点 - 你已经说过了 - Be nice. - You said that already.
-嘿 - 嗨 爸爸 - Hey. - Hi, Dad.
哦 你们俩都在 Oh, there you are.
我们刚才觉得我俩得一起给你打个电话 We just thought we would call you together
问问你今天过得怎么样 and see how you're doing today.
这里可吓人了 It's terrible here.
- 是的 - 我的妈妈咪啊 - Yeah. - Oh, my gosh.
这里就室外就像个大火炉 It's just like a blow furnace out here.
据说今天有103华氏度 It's supposed to go up to 103 today.
- 今天忘记做发型了 - 真的吗 - Forget having a hairdo. - Really?
马上我们只是 Soon we're just...
我们可能马上就都不会穿衣服了 we're gonna stop wearing clothes altogether.
哦 哇呜 Oh, wow.
我们身上只有涂着皮疹霜 We're just gonna wear rash cream.
- 哇呜 - 爸爸 我们 - Wow. - Dad, we...
我们带了些郁金香去了妈妈的 We took some tulips over to Mom's...
我很感谢 I appreciate that.
诶 特迪在哪 在哪啊 Now, where is Teddy, huh?
对啊 在哪儿呢 Yeah, where's that...
因为我想向他展示点东西 Because I have something I want to show him.
这是什么 我的妈妈咪啊 What is this? Oh, my gosh.
爸爸 你要干嘛 我 Dad, what are you doing? I...
只是 我想给你看看新的泳池 Just... I want to show you the new pool.
一个小小的沙水车的水箱 A little spray tan,
你觉得怎样 鼓掌啊你们 you think maybe? Show of hands.
- 哦 - 就一点点大 - Oh. - Just a little.
我们刚刚吃了中饭 We just ate lunch, so...
来嘛 我想让特迪看看这个跳水板 Come on, I want Teddy to see the diving board.
不 不必了 他 其实他现在不在这儿 Oh, no, he's... actually, he's not here,
爸你不必 Dad, so you don't...
吼呜 Whoa,
那不是布鲁斯·威利斯 is that Bruce Willis
和他年轻火辣的新老婆吗 and his new hot young wife?
看起来不错 比尔 Looking good, Bill!
那是谁 他是帅气 吸引眼球 棒极了的丹尼 Who is that, that handsome, drop-dead gorgeous Danny?
我只是路过而已 我在忙 I'm just walking through. I'm working.
- 别走啊 别走开啊 - 特迪在哪儿啊 - Don't go. Don't go. - Where's Teddy?
爸爸 特迪在睡觉 只有我们几个 Teddy's napping, Dad, so it's just us, yeah.
这样啊 Oh.
- 对啊 - 好像那个讨人喜欢的小屁孩啊 - Yeah. - Miss that munchkin.
哦 他会游泳吗 Well, can he swim?
不会 他才三岁而已 No, he's three.
对啊 现在是时候了 Well, now's the time. See,
你俩学游泳太晚了 对吧 we waited too long with you two.
- 但是 他才三岁而已 - 所以 - Well, he's only three. - So...
不对 不能一直等到他都太大了 No, don't wait too long.
你没等很久对吧 爸爸 You didn't wait too long, did you, Dad?
- 什么 - 我们听不到你们的声音 - What? - We can't hear you now.
- 杰克 - 干嘛啦 静音了啦 - Jake. - What? It's on mute.
- 我没碰任何东西啊 - 这东西坏了 - I didn't touch a thing. - It's not working.
他不太会用手机 好吗 He's not good on the phone, okay?
看起来他根本就不知道这个家庭发生了什么 It's like he has no idea what's going on with this family.
他甚至都没问为什么我会出现在这里 He hasn't even asked why I'm here.
你说完了没 You done?
你每周都给他们打电话吗 You call them every week?
对 每周 Yeah, every week.
你怎么这么求死心切 You have a death wish.
- 嘿 - 可能 哦 我们连上了 - Hey. - Probably... Oh, there we are.
- 嘿 嘿 - 他们又连上了 - Hey. Hey. - They're back.
怎么了 我们什么都没碰 What happened? We didn't do anything.
我想可能掉线了一会儿吧 L-I think it just dropped out for a second.
- 别让它发生啊 - 科技咯 - Don't make that happen. - Technology.
对 Yeah.
总之是什么原因造成的啦 我们得挂电话了 One of those things, but we'll let you go.
看到你们真好 然后 It was great to see you, and...
等等 吼呜 吼呜 - 别挂电话啊 - Wait, whoa, whoa. - Don't go yet.
我们什么时候能看到特迪啊 When are we gonna get to see Teddy?
对 那只小小泰迪熊 Yeah, that little Teddy Bear.
现在不行 他在睡觉 No, he's napping now,
我们下次再聊吧 so we'll try you later in the week.
他拿到我给他寄的蓝宝石纽扣了吗 Did he get those little turquoise cufflinks I sent?
我给他了 已经给他了 I did, I did, yeah.
你知道 在他成人礼的时候我可以 You know, maybe for his confirmation I could...
等到他成人再说 Or his Bar Mitzvah.
Bar Mitzvah：给13岁犹太男孩行坚信礼或受诫礼
好吧 我们可以做小戴维的东西 Okay, well, we'll just do a little David thing,
然后我们可以做基督教的东西 and then we'll do a little Christ thing...
嗯 Yeah.
还有你知道的 做个衣柜之类的 And you know, just have a wardrobe.
可以可以 随你们 我们得挂电话了 Okay, well that's it, so we're gonna go,
和你讲话真高兴 爸爸 我们很想你 but it was lovely to talk to you, Dad, we miss you.
你们得让那个男孩学游泳 Yup, and you get that boy swimming.
顺便提一句 我挺好的 I'm doing fine, by the way.
- 挺不错的 - 告诉特迪我爱他 - Okay, good one. - Give my love to Teddy.
嗯 差不多了 拜拜 Okay, that's it, bye. Bye.
- 嗯 - 拜拜 - Okay. - Bye.
认真的 我真的要吐了 I mean, that made me physically nauseous.
- 你喜欢和她讲话吗 - 我头真的很痛 - Do you like talking to her? - I have a severe headache.
透过屏幕我都能闻到她身上发胶的味道 I can smell the hairspray through the screen.
特迪 你那边有直的积木吗 Teddy, you got any straight pieces?
跟我换吗 Want to trade?
嗨 Hi!
- 嗨 - 妈妈 我爱你哟 - Hi! - Mom, I love you!
嗯 我也爱你 过来 我的小怪兽 Yeah! I love you! Come here, monster man.
能和我亲亲吗 拜托 Can I have a kiss? Please?
(* ￣3)(ε￣ *) Mwah.
看这些漂亮的小火车 看呐 Look at these beautiful trains, huh?
- 是啊的 - 看那个 - Yeah. - Look at that.
你们真忙 You guys are busy.
在干嘛呢 So?
真漂亮 It's gorgeous.
我帮你报名了一个 I signed you up
"妈咪和我" 的亲子游泳班 for a "Mommy and Me" swim class
在一所高中里面 at the high school.
- 我要去游泳了耶 - 是的 - I'm gonna swim! - Yeah.
明天开始 It starts tomorrow.
不行 No.
我已经报名了 I did.
我没泳装 I don't have a bathing suit.
无所谓啊 你可以穿一条丹尼的呀 That's okay. You can borrow one of Danny's.
恶心 我才不要穿别的男人的泳装嘞 Ew, I'm not gonna wear another man's bathing suit.
那会摩擦小弟弟 That's like rubbing Ds.
你是怎样 才10岁是吗 What are you, ten?
我也不知道 我才10吗 I don't know, am I?
你需要做出一些建设性的贡献 You need some structure.
丹尼会把车借给你 Danny will give you the car,
他说了他会借的 特迪也够大了 he said he would, and Teddy's old enough.
他到了学习游泳的年纪了 He should learn.
我十分同意这个说法他应该学习游泳了 I agree that he should learn to swim,
和他的妈妈一起 with his mother.
但是周末没班了 There's no classes available on the weekend.
我看过了 I already checked.
好吧 游泳班 3到5岁 Okay. "Swim class, 3-5 years old.
周五 4点到4点55 "Friday, 4:00-4:45.
可参加 "Still available.
周六 2点到2点45 可参加 Saturday, 2:00-2:45. Still available.
你想让我也看看周日的吗 You want me to check Sunday?
- 够了吗 - 嗯呢 - Are you done? - Mm-hmm.
下午2点 别让他接着睡把他搞起来 2:00 P.M. will fuck up his nap,
我们一起去周五那天 so we'll go Friday, together.
好啊 但是我得去买我自己的泳装 Fine, but I get my own bathing suit.
你穿什么我才不管嘞 I don't give a shit what you wear.
那感情好啊 我打算裸着去 Fine, I'm gonna do it nude.
可以啊 祝你好运咯 Yeah, good luck with that.
打扰一下 你们有没有 Excuse me, you have anything else
别的没这么玛格丽塔酒镇风格的裤子啊 that's a little less Margaritaville?
没了 那边你看到的就是所有的了 老兄 No, what you see is what we have, man.
我累个大去 Holy shit.
你好啊 老兄 Hello? Dude.
什么都没想起来吗 保罗雷焦 Nothing? Paul Reggio.
保罗·雷焦 记起来了吗 Reggio Jackson? Come on,
老兄 每个人都那么叫我 man, everyone called me that.
我和你一起在新罗谢尔高中上学 I went to New Rochelle High with you.
哦 记起来了 Oh, right.
我们以前一起红男绿女潇潇洒洒 Think we did Guys and Dolls together.
你cos天空马斯特森 I think you were Sky Masterson,
我中二自己是帅帅酷酷的约翰逊 and I think I was Nicely-Nicely Johnson.
不对 那是高德伯 No, that was Goldberg.
没错 我负责技术指导 That's right. I did tech.
如果我也去试了的话 But if I auditioned,
那我就是帅帅酷酷的约翰逊了 I would have been Nicely-Nicely Johnson.
毫无疑问 好吧兄弟 很高兴看到你 No doubt. All right, man, good to see you.
谢谢老兄 干得不错吧 Thanks, man, doing good.
嗯 挺不错的 你瞧 副经理 Doing good, you know, assistant manager, so...
- 真的吗 - 不远的将来 - Really? - Some day.
- 好吧 - 嗯 - Oh, okay. - Yeah.
- 挺好的 - 酷 老兄 - Sweet. - Crazy, man.
哦 老兄 Oh, dude,
你还记得本·布瑞斯勒的投人派对吗 do you remember Ben Bresler's cast party...
你去了吗 我记得是在晚上 you went to? I think it was the night
你发现你被高露洁录取了 you found out you got into Colgate.
- 康奈尔 - 对对对 康奈尔 - Cornell. - Cornell, that's right.
- 对 - 高露洁是牙膏的名字 - Yeah. - Colgate's a toothpaste.
我个傻逼 哦 老兄 Stupid. Oh, dude,
你从布瑞斯勒的烟斗上面吸了好多好多 you took the hugest rip off of Bresler's bong.
你把你自己的裤子都撕了个粉碎 You tore your pants off,
你还为了月光主体 you did LaserDisc karaoke
唱了激光唱片的卡拉OK to the Moonlighting theme?
- 是啊 - 我们像 - Yeah. - We were like...
- 是啊 - 疯了 老兄 - Yeah. - Mind blown, man.
那是个高能的夜晚 That was a fun night.
恩 我们都明白 Yeah, we all knew
你在那个时候要做出些惊人的事情 you were going on to amazing things at that point.
那你现在在做什么老兄 So what are you up to now, man?
告诉我吗 给我点提示 Come on, gimme the rundown.
让我嫉妒下 Make me jealous.
事实上我在做类似儿童早期教育方面的东西 I'm actually doing, like, early childhood education stuff now.
哇哦 听起来挺高深啊 Whoa. That sounds big.
我就干些类似技术活的东西 就像 I was doing, like, a bunch of tech stuff, and I was like,
知道不 还给你怎么样 你懂的 "Know what? Eh. How 'bout I give back, you know?"
- 不错嘛 - 是的 一切都挺顺利 - Awesome. - Yeah, it's going well.
- 小孩子 - 没错 国家的未来 - Kids. - Yeah, they're the future.
我们能预见的 但 We'll see, but...
嗯哼 不 他们就是 Mm-hmm. No, they are.
- 他们将会是 - 我们等着瞧 - They will be. - We'll see.
不 毫无疑问孩子们就是未来的希望 No, it's undoubted that children are the future.
- 太疯狂了 伙计 - 没错 所以 - Crazy, man. - Yeah, so...
我姐怀孕了 所以我就呆在她家 My sister's pregnant, so I'm, like, staying at her place,
偶尔搭把手帮点忙 and just kind of helping her out a little bit,
使自己的生活步入正轨 getting my ducks in a row.
好吧 Yeah.
前几个星期她来这儿买过胸罩 She came in here a couple weeks ago to buy a bra.
最好的那种 It was the best.
好吧挺酷 其实挺诡异的 All right, cool, man, this is weird.
可我还在想这件事 I'm still thinking about it.
我想也是 好了 I bet. Okay.
好吧 既然你回来了 伙计 Yeah, hey, well, now that you're back, man,
你得给我打个电话 我们可以像以前那样 you should give me a call. We do, like,
每个周日和全组人轮流来顿早午餐 a rotating brunch thing every Sunday
和巴斯柯克 戈卢布还有麦可泰尔他们 with, like, the whole crew. Like, Buskirk, Golub, Mclntire...
是么 那些人并不在我的组里 所以 Yeah, those guys weren't in my crew, so...
我和他们也不是一组的 Me neither, but, like,
但是我们现在走的比较近 now we roll pretty deep.
好了 现在告诉我你的手机号码 Yeah, here, let me take your phone.
- 呃 - 我要用我的手机 - Oh. - I'm gonna call yo' phone
打个电话给你 待会儿就能接通 from my phone, and then our phones will do it up.
响了吗 Is it ringing?
怎么没声音 喂 Why isn't it ringing? Hello?
你两个手机都接听了 You're 'em both up to...
是啊 我想看看是哪个 Yeah, well, I'm trying to see which one...
- 好吧 - 现在好了 - Yeah. - There we go.
不错嘛 星球大战的主题 Nice, the Star Wars theme.
- 光明系列 - 和杰克·尼克劳斯吗 - It's The Shining. - With Jack Nicklaus?
- 是 高尔夫球手 - 不错 - Yeah, the golfer. - Yeah.
好了 伙计 总之很高兴见到你 All right, man, well, it was good to see you.
老兄 常联系 杰克·温顿回归了 Dude, contact made. Jake Winton's back.
得了吧 伙计 抱一个 Come on, man, bring it in.
- 呃 - 见到你真好 兄弟 - Mm. - Good seeing you, man.
- 我也是 伙计 - 外套挺不错 - You too, man. - That's a nice coat.
- 谢了 - 像我妈的 - Thanks. - Looks like my mom's coat.
这是 这是男人的外套 It's a... it's a guy's coat.
你是不是偷了我妈的外套 Did you steal my mom's coat?
哪有 No, man.
让我们的水仙子在水中畅游 Move our aquababies through the water.
我们要让他们爱上水的感觉 We want them to love their water experience
所以保持与他们的交流 so please keep talking to them or...
或是唱歌给他们听 Singing to them
一位家长 一个游泳宝宝 One parent, one aquababy.
她才是 她才是家长 She's the... She's the parent.
水深1.2m
你下去 You go in. Hey.
水深1.2m
- 他会下去的 - 我才不要下水 - He's going in. - I'm not going underwater.
我不会下去的 I'm not going underwater.
我不会游泳 I don't know how to swim.
今天没人游泳 我们只是站着 No one is swimming today. We're just standing
漫步 歌唱 and walking, and singing songs.
你已经说过了 You said that already.
我将继续歌唱 I'm gonna keep singing
那也许能帮到你 好吗 That might help you, okay?
来吧 大家 Come on, everybody.
巴士上的车轮子 The wheels on the bus
滚呀滚呀滚 Go 'round and 'round
滚呀滚呀滚呀滚 'Round and 'round 'Round and 'round
巴士上的车轮子滚呀滚呀滚 The wheels on the bus go 'round and 'round
好吧 别扭来扭去 Okay, just... please stop wiggling.
- 来到小镇上 - 求你别动了 - Town - Stop it, just please...
别动来动去 就当是为了我好么 Stop wiggling and just hold still for me, please.
泰迪 呆着别动 我去 Teddy, just stay still. Ugh.
- 贾斯汀 - 来了来了 - Justine! - Okay, okay.
- 快来 - 来了 - Please. - Okay.
好吧 Okay.
- 别扭了 - 挺住 - Stop wiggling. - Hold on.
- 别动 - 你妈来了 - Hold on. - Yeah. Here comes your mama.
- 你妈来了 - 巴士上的门 - Here comes your mama. - Doors on the bus
飞驰过小镇的时候开了又关 Go open and shut all through the town
巴士上的孩子们 The babies on the bus
一位家长 一个小孩 One parent, one aquababy.
我们知道 Yeah, we got it, okay?
我们的爸妈没教过我们游泳 所以 你好 Our parents didn't teach us how to swim, so... hi.
让我们问声好 Aw. Everyone, let's say hello!
你好 Hello
好的 这是新成员 Okay, this is a new aquababy.
吉恩小姐的成人初学课 Miss Jenn's Adult Beginners?
让你的脚也沾沾水 Get your feet wet.
这样下学期你就能和泰迪一起游泳了 Then you can swim with Teddy next semester.
不了 我们对今天的课程很满意 No, we are very excited about this class.
实际上对我弟的抑郁症也很有帮助 It's actually very therapeutic for my brother's depression.
- 什么鬼 - 这 - What? - Oh.
如果你想泰迪在水中很有自信的话 If you want Teddy to have confidence in the water,
你自己首先得自信 you need to have it too.
- 我哪里抑郁了 - 我们很自信 - I'm not depressed. - We're very confident.
谢谢你的好意 下星期见 Thank you. We'll see you next week.
去她妹的 Fuck her!
我才不是初学者呢 I'm not an adult beginner.
好吧 你这部分的时间还有五分钟 Okay, you got five more minutes on this section.
再来一杯么 Another glass?
我可以只要那么一点儿么 Can I just have, like, that much?
算了 再给我来一杯好了 谢谢 Fine, I'll just have another glass, thanks.
那你呢 And you?
那我也来一杯好了 Uh, yeah, I'll have a glass of that too.
谢谢 Thanks.
我是开玩笑的 I was kidding.
这是第一次在餐厅 This is the first time anyone's ever served me alcohol
有人给我上酒 in a restaurant ever.
- 哇哦 - 你想退回去吗 - Wow. - Are you gonna send it back?
当我在你这个年纪的时候 When I was your age,
我的SAT成绩惨不忍睹 I basically took my SATs drunk.
SAT:美国高考,满分2400
- 你考了几分 - 1600分 - What did you get? - I got a 1600.
后来我去了哥伦比亚大学 And then I went to Columbia
并在那消沉了一段时间 and was drunk there.
所以你也学这个吗 So is this what you studied?
大学预科? 当然不是 这不是我的专业 College prep? No, that wasn't my major.
后来我去了纽约大学的法律学院 Poli-sci, and then I went to NYU for law school.
- 你是律师? - 不是 我 - You're a lawyer? - No, no, I...
我妈在最后一个学期病了 My mom got sick in the last semester, so I came
所以我来这儿呆了几个星期后就留了下来 up here for a few weeks and then I just never left.
好吧 该死 Yeah, shit.
抱歉 I'm sorry.
你可以喝一小口 然后完成那部分 You can have one sip, and then finish that section.
谁呀 Hello?
有人吗 有人吗 Hello? Hello?
你们好 Hi.
嘿 泰迪 Hey, Teddy.
欢迎来到游戏约会 泰迪 吹响号角 Welcome to the playdate. Teddy, blow that horn.
游戏约会:由几个家长安排的儿童玩耍约会
啊等等 你家要脱鞋吗 Oh, oh, wait. Are you a shoes-off house?
我不知道 I don't know.
好吧 玩具在哪 Hmm. Okay, where are the toys?
它们在客厅 泰迪 你可以抓住我的脖子 They're in the living room. Teddy, you can grab my neck,
但不能抠我脖子上的肉 but you can't grab my neck skin.
我可以抠你脖子上的肉 I can grab your neck skin!
好吧 遵旨 你好啊 乔治娅 Okay, lesson learned. Hi, Georgia.
说你好 乔治娅 Say hi, Georgia.
哈 她今天有点害羞 Aw, she's shy today.
没关系 嘿 乔治娅 That's okay. Hey, Georgia,
你有没有带牧草 我好饿啊 did you bring hay... I'm so hungry!
今天的菜单可是泰迪拟定的 Today on ze menu at Chez Teddy,
我们有很美味的切达干酪小兔子 we have a delicious assortment of Cheddar Bunnies,
水果兔的好朋友胡萝卜 狗狗形状的苹果 Bunny Fruits, Buddy Fruits, carrots, apples shaped like dogs...
还有装在爸爸妈妈杯子里的牛奶 And milk in mommy and daddy glasses
由于这是一个很特殊的游戏约会 because this is a special playdate.
我觉得他们把东西弄的到处都是 I feel like they take stuff out
就是为了看我们收拾 just so that we have to put it away.
他们真的有那么多的玩具 They do have so many things.
我懂 就像这辆消防车 我想把它藏起来 I know, like this fire truck, I keep trying to hide
不过泰迪还是把它找出来了 from Teddy. He keeps finding it.
还有这个 我想扔了它 可乔治娅不肯 And this? I tried to throw out, but Georgia caught me.
噢 这玩意儿还在响 Oh, this thing is just gonna keep playing.
我们得等它歇下来 We just have to wait it out.
乔治娅 别动那个 那不是你的 No, Georgia! Don't touch that. That's not yours.
等等 我曾看到过 Wait, I actually read this thing that
要是孩子把东西放在大拇指和两个手指之间 if the kids take things and put them between their thumb and two fingers,
他们可能是在练习握笔能力 it's actually practice for eventual writing skills.
我们得来点点心 We should get a snack.
好啊 Okay.
- 等等 - 怎么了 - Wait. - What?
超级奶爸怎么办 What about the Supermanny?
- 阿明? - 是啊 - Armin? - Yeah.
无聊的时候才找他 That's just for when I'm bored.
等等 孩子们怎么办 他们这样行吗 Wait, what about the kids? Will they be okay?
不用操心 你快点 They're fine. That's the "Elbow Song."
我们还有十分钟 We have about ten more minutes.
好吧 Okay.
贾斯汀 我能 Justine? Could I just...
我要去做五个月的产检 我和珍约好了 I'm going for my five-month check-up. I cleared it with Jean.
不不 No, no.
我有话和你说 You have to clear everything with me now.
珍的儿子上星期因为网络赌博进了管教所 Jean's son just got checked into rehab for Internet gambling last week.
我知道 她急疯了 Yeah, she's totally out to lunch.
为这事三天前我留了张便签给你 I left you a memo about this three days ago.
不过 我并不是要和你说这件事 But, it's not what I want to talk to you about.
听着 我和马利本森他妈见了一面 Listen, I had a conference with Marley Benson's mom,
她说她看到你和莎拉·利普森 and she said that she saw you and Sarah Lipson
在特蕾莎面包店一起喝酒 at Theresa's Bakery, and that you were both drinking.
- 喝啥 喝酒吗 - 喝酒 - "Drinking" drinking? - Drinking alcohol.
- 她有病啊 - 好吧 - Is she crazy? - Well...
她是个未成年而我还怀着孕 She's a minor and I'm pregnant.
我 我知道有些家长 I... I realize some of the moms
确实挺八卦 like to manufacture the drama.
可有些人真的很过分 Some of the moms are insane.
贾斯汀 她的语气听起来是关心你 Justine, her voice was very level with concern.
小鸡鸡 Penis.
你看到的未必是你想的那样 You have no idea what you're looking at.
小鸡鸡 是个男孩 Penis, that's a boy.
你能告诉我那真的是小鸡鸡吗 Can you just tell me what it is? Really?
我的意思是 性别 I mean, just tell me.
是个女孩 It's a girl.
我要有小侄女了 I'm gonna be a girl's uncle.
真是不可思议 That's insane.
别告诉丹尼 我想他并不想发现 Don't tell Danny. He really didn't want to find out.
我原来那么惹人嫌 I'm such an asshole.
才没有呢 You're not an asshole.
我是说 你挺讨人嫌的 不过不是因为那个 I mean, you're an asshole, but not because of that.
你能让我看看她么 Can you put on a little show for him?
我想说 女孩有没有可能有小鸡鸡 I mean, is it possible that the girl could have a penis?
之前有过 It's happened before.
要真这样我依然爱她 I would love her just the same.
什么 What?
你可认识松饼人 Do you know the Muffin Man
松饼人呀松饼人 The Muffin Man The Muffin Man
你可认识松饼人 Do you know The Muffin Man
他就住在特鲁里街 He lives on Drury Lane
是的 我认识松饼人 Yes I know The Muffin Man
松饼人呀松饼人 The Muffin Man The Muffin Man
是的我认识松饼人 Yes I know The Muffin Man
他就住在特鲁里街 He lives on Drury Lane
在哪在哪 Where, where?
什么 What?
是的我认识松饼人 Yes I know The Muffin Man
松饼人呀松饼人 The Muffin Man The Muffin Man
- 什么? - 是的我认识松饼人 - What? - Yes I know The Muffin Man
大屁股 水桶腰 Bubble-butt. Muffin top.
是的我认识松饼人 他就住在特鲁里街 Yes I know The Muffin Man He lives on Drury Lane
哟哟切克闹 松饼人在后面 Do it up. Muffin back.
- 好好好 - 他在前面 - Okay, okay, okay. - Muffin front.
德呀么德德鲁里巷 德鲁里巷 Dru-Dru-Drury Lane. Drury Lane.
你们可以看到 墙骨间隔 So you can't see it, but the studs are spaced
由16改为24英寸 24 inches rather than 16.
节省了约25%的双头螺柱 Saved 25% on the studs.
使得天花板到地面有六线性英尺高 Turned that into six lineal feet of floor-to-ceiling insulation.
线性英尺:建筑术语,指两点之间的距离
- 六线性英尺? - 没错 - Six lineal feet, huh? - Yup.
我喜欢这个高度 I love insulation.
同时 我还设计了楼层之间的夹层带 Oh, also, I designed these floor-to-floor straps.
知道吗 这可以用于承载重负荷 You know? That we use for certain heavily-loaded
要是计算后有必要的话 second story shear panels.
二楼会用到剪力墙 But I only use those if the calculations prove necessary.
剪力墙:建筑术语,又称抗震墙,用于防止结构剪切破坏
有用到吗 And did they?
用到什么 Did they what?
就是计算后要不要用剪力墙 Did the calculations prove necessary?
噢 你俩是在逗我玩儿么 Oh, you guys are fucking with me.
你们 我只想知道你们喜不喜欢这儿 You guys, I just want to know what you think of the place.
亲爱的 我很喜欢 特别喜欢 Baby, I love it. I love it.
- 特别好 - 我爱这里 爱极了 - It's awesome. - I love it. I love it.
看 那是什么 给我讲讲那是什么 Show... what's this? Show me over here.
你说那些防风窗吗 Oh, those are my storm windows?
你想看我的防风窗? You want to see my storm windows?
- 很漂亮 - 是吗 - It's beautiful. - Yeah?
- 是 我很喜欢 - 真的吗 - Yeah, I love it. - Do you?
你怎么那么聪明 Why are you so smart?
嗨 你是来参加开放参观日吗 Hi, are you here for the open house?
开放参观日:国外一种房产销售方式
随我来 Come right this way.
我去 Oh, fuck.
他是我见过最好相处的事主 He's really the best contractor I've ever worked with.
我也是 Oh, me too.
好了 走了 我们该去游戏约会接泰迪了 Okay, come on, we should pick Teddy up from his play date.
过来 亲爱的 Come on, babe.
什么情况 What the fuck?
我去 什么鬼 Mold?! What the fuck?
你们 对不住了 我得走了 周一有个视察 You guys, I'm sorry, I gotta go. I got an inspection on Monday.
没事没事 他在睡呢 It's okay. He's asleep.
好的 我很抱歉 宝贝 Okay. I'm so sorry, baby.
我快饿死了 I'm so fucking hungry.
除湿机 是除湿机 Dehumidifier. Dijo, dehumidifier.
嘿 想订影片点播吗 Hey, want to order a movie On Demand?
并不想 I won't make it.
求你了 要不会很无聊的 Come on, we'll get something stupid.
- 我们可以订公主新娘 - 我得收拾了 - We can get The Princess Bride. - I gotta clean up.
糟糕 我觉得这小鬼要把我的后背打洞出来 Fuck, I feel like this kid is trying to tunnel out my lower back.
坐下吧 我来收拾 Sit down. I got it.
爱上我了么 Bring It On?
- 这是怎么了 - 他不舒服 - What's going on here? - He's sick.
能帮我拿下维克斯吗 Can you get the Vicks?
维克斯: 一种治感冒的薄荷脑搽剂
没问题 Yeah.
- 给 - 谢谢 - Hey. - Oh, thanks.
给妈妈来点维克斯 A little Vicks for Mom.
杰克叔叔喝点小酒 A little beer for Unky Jake.
你就好好享受按摩 A little rubdown for the man.
亲爱的 开始咯 Here you go, honey.
我头发很乱吗 Is my hair crazy?
看上去挺好的 No, it looks nice.
那我的呢 What about mine?
也挺好的 毕竟你拉直过了 No, 'cause you had it chemically straightened.
我好像 也就拉过一次吧 I had it chemically straightened, like, once.
还是为了毕业舞会好吗 For prom, okay?
要换我来吗 Want to trade?
好的 Yeah.
- 杰克 - 换我咯 - Jakey. - There we go.
和杰克叔叔亲密接触吧 Let's get Uncle Jakey just a little sick.
好了 Okay.
你想找个哥们勾搭吗 You want to hook a brother up?
谢了 Thanks.
开始咯 There we go, buddy.
来涂上按摩膏 Let's get that rub on.
就这样 Yeah.
你知道吗 杰克叔叔以前的按摩费 You know, Unky Jakey used to have to pay a lot more
收的很高哦 for these rubdowns.
老兄 Dude.
怎么 What?
你这什么表情 我懂这种表情 What is that face? I know that face.
什么表情 你在讲什么 What face? What are you talking about?
你拍了性爱记录 You were having a sex flashback.
我才没有 I wasn't having a sex flashback.
你有 我都看见了 Yes, you were. I saw it.
说吧 你跟谁睡了 Tell me. Who did you sleep with?
快别说了 我才没有 Stop it. No.
你才来这两个月 You've only been here two months
结果你已经跟别人滚过床单了 and you're already f-u-c-k-i-n-g-ing somebody?
我还抱着你儿子呢 I'm holding your son.
你个变态啦 You're a pervert.
我见过这种表情 I saw that face.
你很忙咯 Busy.
你不也很忙啊 You're busy.
他 还对我打喷嚏 He, like, sneezed on me.
是吗 Yeah.
真的啊 Yeah.
一天早晨 小兔子坐在河边 "One morning, Little Rabbit sat on the bank.
"他竖起耳朵 听儿歌 "He pricked his ears and listened to the trit-trot,
马儿之歌" trit-trot of a pony..."
能放些好听的吗 Can we put something better on?
不行 我是客人 No, I'm the guest.
"我是客人" 这游戏可不是这么玩的 That' not how "I'm The Guest" is played.
客人可以选择看什么电视 The guest gets to decide what TV shows to watch,
玩什么游戏和听什么磁带 what games are played, and what to listen to on the tape player.
你总是耍赖 You always cheat.
你是耍赖鬼 You've always been a cheater.
我才是客人 I'm the guest.
"每只大鸡去过的地方 小鸡也去了" "Everywhere that Big Chick went, Little Chick went, too."
你是对的 这个好多了 You're right. This is better.
"大鸡去找浆果 小鸡跟着" "Big Chick went looking for berries and Little Chick followed."
"大鸡去树林走走 小鸡跟着" "Big Chick took a walk in the woods and Little Chick followed."
他睡着了 He's asleep.
"别跟着我了 大鸡说 "'Stop following me,' said Big Chick.
但是 我会很孤单的 小鸡说" 'But I'll be lonely,' said Little Chick.
"第二天早晨 大鸡起得很早 "The next morning, Big Chick woke up early,
他还没等小鸡一起就走了" and she left without waiting for Little Chick..."
新鲜泡的柠檬汁 Fresh lemonade from powder.
新鲜的哦 只要50分美金 Fresh powder. Just 50￠.
多谢你还留着这个短片 I love that you kept the VCR.
好了 Okay.
现在 挺冷的 Okay, well, it's pretty cold out,
但是我们要吸引些人来 but I think we're gonna get some people walking by.
为什么我们总是要卖这些 Why were we always trying to sell things
并没有人想买的东西 that people didn't want to buy?
去你的 我还在做这种事呢 Fuck. I'm still doing that.
你以前声音真可爱 You had such a cute voice.
这也是我们仅剩的卖点了 That was the only reason we sold anything.
这是我们的商业核心好吗 It was like the center of our business model.
天哪 你让我卖完所有的海贝 God, you made me hawk all those sea shells.
还都是碎的 They were all fucking broken.
卖贝壳咯 快来看看贝壳啊 "Sea shells. Get your seashells."
卖贝壳咯 "Seashells"
才不是 我说起来不是这样的 That's not... I didn't sound like a...
你实在太可爱了 You were so cute.
才没有呢 No, I wasn't.
我和一个学生喝酒了 I drank with a student.
喝醉了吗 "Drank" drank?
喝断片了 Yeah. It's bad.
我可能会被炒鱿鱼的 I could get fired.
也许我自己也不想干了吧 Maybe I want to get fired.
去他娘的 Just fuck everything up.
你怀孕了 他们不能炒你 You're pregnant. They can't fire you.
这个女孩 莎拉 人很不错 This girl, Sarah, she's great.
她所有应聘的地方都被录取了 She's gonna get in everywhere she applies.
听起来 跟你很像啊 She sounds like you.
我希望你来看我是因为你过的好 I wish you came to visit because you were happy.
我过的很好啊 看着我 I was happy. Look at me.
我们要先观察一会再说 We're gonna just keep our eye out for a while.
你过的开心吗 Are you happy?
好了 关掉吧 Okay, turn it off. Bye.
出去 Get out of here.
多谢你没把所有东西扔掉 Thank you for not throwing everything away.
♪ 大人 我真的压力山大 ♪ ♪ Lord I really been real stressed ♪
♪ 只能退缩不前 ♪ ♪ Down and out lossing ground ♪
♪ 虽然我黑我骄傲 ♪ ♪Although I am Black and proud ♪
♪ 但是问题把我打击成悲观者 ♪ ♪ Problems got me pessimistic ♪
♪ 兄弟姐妹还总是添乱 ♪ ♪ Brothers and sisters messing up ♪
♪ 为什么这一切他妈这么困难 ♪ ♪ Why does it have to be so damn tough? ♪
♪ 不知道我还可以去何方 ♪ ♪ I don't know where I can go ♪
癌症治疗计划
问医生的问题：
从身体其他部分开始 ?
其他器官也会有风险吗 比如说胃？
会不会影响其他的消化系统
什么程度的锻炼比较合适
泰迪怎么样 How's Teddy?
还有点喘 但是已经睡着了 He's wheezy, but sleeping.
长菌的地方怎么样了 How's the mold?
兄弟 真挺严重的 Bro, it's bad.
还没好吗 Still moldy?
喜欢你的房间吗 You like your room?
花了我差不多两小时 Took me, like, two hours
才把那个该死的诺迪克跑步机拖出来 to drag that fucking Nordic Track out of here.
多谢 That's great.
你想去外面抽烟吗 You want to smoke out?
并不 No.
那你想和我多呆一会吗 You want to keep me company?
猫可是代表矢志不渝哦 Cats. Now and forever.
这和小橱柜的木头是一样的 This is the same wood from the cabinets.
你知道吗 这样他就可以在这上面吃饭了 And, you know, he's gonna be able to eat on it.
或者玩啊 Fucking Play-Doh.
所有的事情都可以干 All that shit.
对他来说很不错 有自己的空间 It's gonna be nice to have his own space.
是啊 Yeah, it's great.
我要去睡觉了 I gotta go to bed, man.
什么 不会吧大兄弟 What? No, dude.
得了吧 我那儿还有零食 Come on, I got snacks.
不行 I can't.
我不能看着这小桌子 I can't look at tiny tables
然后假装我们什么都没发生 and pretend like we're cool.
你的孩子病了 Your kid was sick and you were off
结果你还在玩什么房地产代理商 fucking playing the Real Estate Agent.
看着 Look. Hmm?
这是啥 What is that?
发霉的照片 好吗 That's mold. Okay?
她不在那里 真的吗 She wasn't there? Really?
老兄 霉菌 霉菌 霉菌 霉菌 Dude. Mold. Mold, mold, mold.
他妈到处都发霉了 Mold, fucking everywhere.
好吧 Yeah.
我不知道你是怎么觉得 I don't understand how you can make it okay
你处理好的 根本没有 好吗 in your head, because it's not. Okay?
你以为在这里自由散漫 And you walk around,
以为是所有都是你造的 like, just because you're building things,
就扯平了吗 everything's even?
你觉得我是一个混蛋吗 Do you think I'm an asshole?
我怎么知道 I don't know.
你当然不知道了 因为我不是 No, you don't. Because you know I'm not.
哦 你真棒 Yeah, you're fantastic.
我需要关注 杰克 Look, I needed attention, Jake.
我需要有人注视我 I needed somebody to look at me
而不是总被那些更重要的 instead of being fucking distracted
吸引去目光 by something more important.
就这样 And that was all?
真的就这样 好吗 That's all. Okay?
我随意侃大山 I would talk about whatever
她都觉得我知识渊博 and she would think I'm awesome.
行了吗 但是事情会奇怪的发展 Okay? And it only got weird
只要我们开始讨论 when we started to...
别告诉我 我才不想知道 Oh, don't tell me. I don't want to know.
这次床单滚的好失败 简直糟透了 好吗 The sex was terrible. It sucked, okay?
结果第二次更糟 And the second time was even worse...
你给我闭嘴 我才不想知道 Just stop talking 'cause I don't want to hear.
两次 我们只干过两次 Twice. That's how many times we did it.
就这样 That's it.
别他妈朝我仍饼干 Don't fucking throw little cookies at me.
你 Hey!
别老是在我家人面前晃悠 Just stop fucking around on my family.
是 你家人 Right. Your family.
所以你觉得所有的事情都解决了 是吗 So you think you've got it all worked out now, huh?
三个月之后 After three months.
你懂什么叫家人吗 You know what it means to have a family.
有妻子 有孩子 To have a wife, to have a kid.
拥有一个孩子啊 杰克 To have a kid, Jake.
你是什么都有了 You've got it all worked out now.
我在这里的的时候 你在哪里 I was here. Where were you?
在工作 I was working.
你知道吗 你他妈 You know what? You don't know
根本不知道你自己在扯什么了 what the fuck you're talking about. Okay?
我说 其实你跟本没在这里活过 I mean, you don't really live here.
就只除了你 Nobody expects anything from you.
在此之前 Have a day before that.
行了 行了 我们都知道了 Okay, okay, point taken.
小卷心菜有大能量 A little cabbage goes a long way.
但是 你看 你俩每餐之前都干这个 But look, you two do this at every meal.
你知道吗 我之前有个水床 You know, I used to have a waterbed in here.
是吗 Oh.
听起来 不是很舒服啊 That sounds really uncomfortable.
是啊 但是我很喜欢 Yeah, it was, but I loved it.
我要跟妈妈一起读100本书 才得到的 I had to read 100 books with my mom to earn it.
结果 我们把它卖了 And then we sold it 'cause she thought
因为我妈妈觉得我脊椎弯了 it was gonna give me scoliosis.
是吗 Yeah?
是的 Yeah.
让我看看咯 Let me see.
真的要看 Oh, yeah?
伦家要看嘛 Mm-hmm.
现在玩医生游戏了吗 Are you a doctor now?
觉得怎么样 How does it feel?
对我来说挺直了 It feels straight enough for me.
真的吗 Oh, yeah?
嗯 Mm-hmm.
这就是你每月工作的收益啦 Well, that's what you get for working out once a month.
你知道弗兰妮的妈妈吗 You know Franny's mom?
她问我你能不能也帮她看孩子 She asked me about you for a nanny share.
是吗 Oh, yeah?
听起来听带感啊 Sounds hot.
住口 Shut up.
这只是意味着你要同时 That just means she wants you to take care
照顾弗兰妮和泰德了 of Franny and Teddy together.
孩子多 钱多嘛 One more kid. More money.
该死 Shit.
怎么了 What?
我的意思的 她觉得你和泰德相处的很好 I mean, she thinks you're really good with Teddy.
随便啦 你也不定要去的 Whatever, you don't have to do it.
莫慌 Don't freak out.
我才没有慌 I'm not freaking out.
只是我这个工作也只是暂时的 It's just, like, this gig is temporary.
行吧 Okay, that's cool.
你知道吗 阿尔铭的乐队周六在布伦南演出 You know, Armin's band is playing at Brennan's on Saturday.
男保姆也有乐队 The manny has a band.
呵呵 Perfect.
怎么 Mm-hmm.
所以 你想一起去吗 So, would you like to go together?
我们吗 两个保姆一起约会吗 Me and you? Two nannies on a date together?
对啊 Yeah.
好吧 Yeah.
挺棒的 那就这么定了 Yeah, that's cool. Let's do it.
也许我会站起来跟他一起唱 And I might get up there and sing with him.
咋啦 Whats up?
嗨 Hey.
呃 你见过泰德的小长颈鹿了吗 Uh, have you seen Teddy's Giraffe-y?
我找不到了 泰德很生气 I can't find it anywhere and he's freaking out.
我搞不定他 I can't put him down.
天 Oh, shit.
我觉得落在乔治娅家里了 我去拿回来 Yeah. I think we left it at Georgia's house. I'll go get it.
哦不不不 太迟了 Oh, no, no, no. It's too late.
没关系的 我愿意帮忙的 No. It's fine. I'm happy to do it.
我真心没有什么更好的事情做了 I literally have nothing better to do.
多谢你 Thank you.
这事搞得定的 It is gonna happen.
他们会把十亿翻六倍的 They are gonna raise the billion six.
他们会在年底前首次公开募股 They're having an IPO before the end of the year.
对 我们有个短期的作业要完成 Right, we have a shit-term of homework to do for our guys.
你是 Yeah?
你好 我是杰克 泰德的叔叔 Yeah, I'm Jake, Teddy's uncle.
泰德是乔治娅的朋友 Georgia's friend.
行 Mm-hmm. Okay.
泰德把他的长颈鹿公仔落在这里了 Teddy left his toy giraffe here earlier today
他现在简直是个核反应堆在家里闹得不行 and now he's having a Chernobyl-level meltdown...
行吧 进来吧 All right, come in.
所以 我们员工都到齐了吗 So, look, do we have the personnel, or not?
我等下打给你吧 I mean... you know... let me, um, let me call you back.
我这里有个找长颈鹿的人 I got a guy here looking for a giraffe.
嗨 我今晚能用一下车子吗 Hey, can I use the car tonight?
你要去哪里 要出去吗 Where are you going? Are you going out?
我要去布伦南那里 I'm going to Brennan's.
看操蛋的烂乐队演出 For some fucking shitty-ass band.
等等 行吧 等一下 我跟你一起去吧 Wait, okay. Wait, well, I'll come with you.
你可以喝酒 我来开车 You can drink. I can drive.
宝贝 你可以和睡着的孩子在这里 Baby, can you stay here with our sleeping child,
我出去一会 and then I get to go out?
行啊 没问题 Yeah. Of course.
挺好的 Great.
棒 Awesome.
等我一下 Give me two seconds.
打扮得太过了吗 Is this too much?
- 对啊 - 没 挺好的 - Yeah. - No.
- 裙子太短了 - 看上去很性感 - It's too short. - No, that looks hot.
是吗 Yeah?
快点穿条裤子 Put some pants on. Please.
闭嘴把你 Oh, shut up.
你看上去很漂亮 You look perfect.
就这样吧 Go on, please.
得了吧你 Oh, come on.
好啦 我们走吧 Relax, let's go.
尤物哦 Ooh, hot!
你看上去很棒 You look good.
要把她送回家 Bring that back home.
天 你够了 Jesus, enough.
你看起来像蒂姆·伯顿派的 You look like a Tim Burton creature.
嗨 你和丹尼怎么样了 Hey. What was going on with you and Danny?
你是什么意思 What do you mean?
他有嘲笑你的T恤之类的吗 Did he make fun of your shirt or something?
我的T恤怎么了 挺随意潇洒的啊 What's wrong with my shirt? It's casual chic.
我简直不敢相信你来这里这么久了 I can't believe how long you've been here.
哈 疯狂的岁月 Yeah, it's crazy.
不不 这就像 都已经过去了 No, no, it's, like, it's flown by.
喜欢你的房间吗 Do you like your room?
喜欢啊 房间蛮好的 Yeah. Yeah, it's nice.
怎么停了 Why are we stopping?
因为要顺道接个朋友 Cause I'm picking up a friend.
我去 我要当电灯泡? Oh, my God, am I on your date?
我靠 这就是你为什么要穿CK的原因吗 Shit, is that why you're wearing CK One?
- 不 - 我在这都能闻到你的香水味 - No. - I can smell you from here.
没事没事 It's fine.
布兰卡 我姐姐 贾斯汀 Blanca, you remember my sister, Justine.
- 你好啊 - 你好 - Hi. - Hey.
你总是带着你有孕在身的姐姐赴约吗 Do you always bring your pregnant sister on dates?
只是确保我不会玩大 Just when I'm trying to guarantee I won't get laid.
抱歉 我都不知道怎么办了 I'm sorry. I had no idea.
你应该带我回家 You should just take me home.
不不不不不 No. No, no, no, no.
知道吗 我好爱你的眼影啊 You know what? I love your eye shadow.
- 谢啦 - 棒棒哒 - Thanks! - It's gorgeous.
谢谢 我喜欢你的头发 Oh, thank you. I love your hair.
谢谢吖 Oh, my God, thank you.
太美了 It's incredible.
我喜欢你的挑染 I love your highlights.
- 我自己搞的哦 - 真的假的 - I did these myself. - Really?
- 是啊 - 这大衣是老海军牌的 - Yeah. L'Oreal. - This coat's from Old Navy.
我一直想做挑染 但是总害怕 I always wanted to do highlights but I'm always afraid...
别错过了表演 Don't want to miss the band.
我说 你可没告诉我是要去约会啊 You didn't tell me this was a date, by the way.
一定会玩嗨的 This is gonna be a fun time.
你知道的 我从不出门 You know, I never go out.
♪ 海洋中漫步 ♪ ♪ Walk on the ocean ♪
♪ 脚踏于石头之上 ♪ ♪ Step on the stone ♪
♪ 肉体化为清水 ♪ ♪ Flesh becomes water ♪
♪ 树林化为骨骼 ♪ ♪ Wood becomes bone ♪
♪ 我们回到了家乡 ♪ ♪ We're back at the homestead ♪
♪ 空气都使你窒息 ♪ ♪ Where the air makes you choke ♪
♪ 人们并不认识你 ♪ ♪ And people don't know you ♪
♪ 信任不过是个笑话 ♪ ♪ And trust is a joke ♪
谢谢大家 Thanks, guys.
十点钟再见 We'll be back in ten.
嗨起来 Stay sexy.
那不是潮湿齿轮 我知道你以为是 That's not Toad the Wet Sprocket. I know you think it is.
然而并不是 But it's not.
再来点鲱斗和苏打水吗 You want me to get you another cran and soda?
不用 我自己来 No, it's cool. I got it.
抱歉 她只是不常出门 Sorry, she just doesn't get out much.
她挺好的 She's awesome.
那么 乔治亚的爸爸 So, um, Georgia's dad,
他说他前几天跟你谈了 he said that he talked to you the other day.
是啊 泰迪的长颈鹿丢了 所以我过去抓鹿 Yeah, Teddy left his giraffe, so I went and grabbed it.
所以你抓到了鹿还还得到了工作录取通知 So you got a giraffe and a job offer.
牛逼啊 That's cool.
他说你好像在那里呆了一个小时 He said you were there for like an hour,
就令人印象深刻 and that you were really impressive.
是啊 一份金融类工作 太特么无聊了 Yeah, it's a finance job, which is fucking boring.
实际上很弱 It's practically entry-level.
打算入职了吗 You gonna take it?
是啊 Uh, I am.
我堂妹需要一份工作 You know, my cousin needs a job.
你姐姐雇她来照顾泰迪 Your sister should totally hire her to take care of Teddy.
怎么了 What?
我喜欢和你做爱 但目前还不会考虑结婚 I like having sex with you, but I wasn't planning our wedding.
好的吧 Okay.
你根本不是认真的 是吧 You're not taking us seriously, are you?
我知道 我只是... I know. I just...
我本以为你对我的认真的 I thought that you were taking me seriously
这让我感觉生活比以前美好多了 and it made me feel better about my life.
真是混乱啊 Oh. That's fucked up.
我去玩会儿行星游戏 I'm gonna go play Asteroids.
我就呆在这儿喝个烂醉 I'm gonna stay here and get drunk.
挺好的 就这么着吧 That's cool. You do that.
看吧 如果你呆在这儿 你早就有女朋友了 See, if you stay here, you already have a girlfriend.
她才不是我女朋友 She's not my girlfriend.
好吧 敏感的你 Okay, sensitivo.
我以前常偷溜来这儿 I used to sneak in here.
我以前就是超级想来这里 多令人沮丧啊 I used to want to be in here so badly. How depressing is that?
你知道吗 我听不得你跟任何人倒苦水 You know what? I can't hear you mope anymore.
好吗 Okay?
看啊 Look.
怀孕的奔跑勇士 Pregnant Running Man.
伸展 Stretching.
一起来 Come on.
你来这儿就是为了喝酒? You just came to drink?
这是家酒吧 It's a bar.
我们别在这磨蹭了 Well, we don't have to hang out.
走去跟你的 "非女友" 聊聊 Go and talk to your not girlfriend.
她会让你舒服点 She'll make you feel better.
回归我的生活才会让我好受点 I'll feel better when I get back to my life.
有一份现成的工作 我打算入职了 There's a job in the city. I'm gonna take it.
你得找其它人来照顾泰迪 You're gonna have to find someone else to take care of Teddy.
布兰卡说她有个合适的人选 Blanca said she know someone, so...
你准备一下 Just so you're prepared.
棒的很么 That's great.
你一定松了一口气 You must be relieved.
别让我感到不安 Don't make me feel bad.
这是一份真正的工作 我必须抓住 It's a real job. I have to take it.
是啊 挺好的 No, no. It's great.
能麻烦你把我的橘汁拿过来吗 Could you just get me my juice?
别这样 好吗 Okay, don't. Okay?
如果你说你要拿橘汁 If you say that you're gonna get your own juice,
那么我就会真的相信你是要去拿橘汁 then I believe that that is what you're gonna do.
你为什么要这样 Why are you getting like this?
这只是 就像 It's just, like,
如果你要我帮你拿橘汁 你讲出来就好 if you want me to get you juice, just ask.
但是不要试验我 我不是丹尼 But don't test me. I'm not Danny.
多谢提醒 Oh, thanks.
就像 和你丈夫睡觉 Just, like, sleep with your husband, okay?
好吗 我不是你的症结所在 I'm not your problem.
什么? 我从不出门的 What? I never go out.
我靠 Fuck you.
- 所以 我们是要走了吗 - 没错 - So what, we're leaving? - Yeah.
好吧 你来开车 我还要去其他地方待一会儿 Fine. Take the car. I'll stay somewhere else.
- 你要去哪 - 我有朋友 - Right, where are you gonna go? - I have friends.
是吗 Really?
那你过去三个月怎么不和他们呆在一起? Why didn't you stay with them for the last three months?
我已经在这里帮了你三个月了 I've been here for almost three months helping you.
但是我不想让它成为我生活的全部 But I don't want that to be my whole life.
别担心 不会的 Don't worry. It's not.
有人死了 有人新生 People die. People are born.
但是唯一一个你说了超过两分钟的理由 But the only reason you stick around for more than two minutes
是你需要什么的时候 is when you need something.
以前我需要你让我好受一点 I needed you to make me feel better.
我曾经拥有一些真正的东西 但现在都没了 I had something real, and now it's gone.
别给我说你如何拥有真正的东西但是 Don't talk to me about how you had something real
现在不复存在 and now it's gone.
不不不不不不不不不不 No. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
没人让你从法学院退学 No one told you you had to drop out of law school.
她没让你 She didn't ask you
- 回来照顾她 - 因为她没必要 - to come home and take care of her. - Because she didn't have to.
她告诉我她不想仅仅因为她生病了 She said she didn't want me to interrupt my life
就打断我的生活 just because she was sick.
我们没有腻着要打乱你的生活 We didn't even come close to interrupting your life.
如果你有一只狗 If you had a dog,
它打乱你生活的程度都会高于妈妈的死 it would have interrupted your life more than Mom dying.
你觉得我不想在妈妈去世的时候在她身边吗 You don't think I wanted to be there when she died?
我打电话给你了 I called you.
我在最后的时刻打电话给你了 I called you when we knew it was close.
我告诉护士了 我说 I told the nurse, I said,
"最后时刻告诉我一下 我要给我弟弟打电话 "Tell me when it's close, I need to call my brother.
我们要在一起" We need to be here together."
我给你留言 I left you messages.
我不能呼吸 I couldn't breathe.
爸爸在这儿 丹尼在这儿 Dad was here. Danny was here.
好吧 我是个渣男 丹尼是圣人 That's right, I'm an asshole and Danny's a saint.
我也想你在这儿 I wanted you here.
我 我给你打电话是因为我需要你 Me. I called you because I needed you.
但是你知道吗 But you know what? It's fine.
丹尼在我要放弃的时候跟我一起握着妈妈的手 Because Danny held Mom's hand with me until I was ready to let it go.
丹尼士可耻的围着那个房地产经纪人转 Well, Danny's fucking around with that real estate agent,
但是我很高兴他当时在那儿 but I'm glad he was there.
抱歉 I'm sorry.
我必须要告诉你 I had to tell you.
等... 等一下 What... wait a second.
哈喽 亲爱的 音乐会怎么样呀 Hey, baby. How's the concert?
是个女孩 It's a girl.
对不起 I'm sorry.
贾斯汀 对不起 Justine, I'm sorry.
♪ 告诉我水平线上 ♪ ♪ Tell me there's a full moon rising ♪
♪ 升起了一轮大而明亮的满月 ♪ ♪ Big and bright on the horizon ♪
♪ 你是否觉得很陌生 ♪ ♪ Are you feeling strange? ♪
♪ 一只蝴蝶坠落 ♪ ♪ A butterfly falling ♪
♪ 那不会如此容易 ♪ ♪ Thought that it would be so easy ♪
♪ 结清你所有的欠债 现在可以离开 ♪ ♪ Paid all your debts and now you're leaving ♪
♪ 闭上眼睛 ♪ ♪ Closing your eyes ♪
♪ 梦到妈妈的眸 ♪ ♪ Got your mama's eyes ♪
这件 不是这件 This one. Not this one!
好吧 但是你说你想穿这件 Yeah, but you said you wanted to wear the...
-不穿 - 拜托 泰迪 - No! - Come on, Teddy, you said
你说你要穿这件机器人T恤 you wanted to wear the robot shirt.
- 我没说 - 你说了 - I didn't. - Yeah, you did.
你说你想穿这件机器人衫 You said you wanted to wear the robot shirt.
我不 我真不想跟你争这个问题了 I don't... I really don't want to have this discussion right now.
不穿 No!
嘿 丹尼在哪 Hey, where's Danny?
我不知道 他不在这 I don't know. He's not here.
但是我让他把车留下来了 But I made him leave the car.
来吧 我来帮他穿 Come on, I got this.
- 对 这边 - 对 过来 宝贝 - Yeah, over here. - Yeah, come here, honey.
- 他在这里 - 我知道 - He's right there. - I know, I know.
- 穿上衬衫好吗 - 不要 - Let's put on your shirt, okay? - No.
- 对 - 来吧 宝贝 - Yeah. - Come on, honey.
你会喜欢这件衬衫的 You love this shirt.
好吧 轻点 拜托了 Okay. Use soft hands, please.
不 妈咪 不要 No, Mommy, no!
- 拜托拜托 - 不要打人 - Please? Please? - Yeah, no hitting.
不行 拜托 轻点 Hey! No. Come on. Soft hands.
你知道吗 You know what?
我认为你们需要走了 I think you guys just need to go.
我需要点私人时间 I just need some time to myself.
嘿 泰迪 你想来片镇静药丸吗 兄弟 Hey, Teddy, you wanna take a chill pill, bro?
镇静剂 兄弟 Chill pill, bro.
耶 Yeah.
火车 Trains.
火车 你喜欢火车吗 Trains? You like trains?
我是火车迷 I'm a big fan of trains myself.
不过坐火车时背不要朝前坐 Don't ride backwards on a train though, okay?
为什么 Why?
会让你作呕 it'll make you sick.
你晕过车吗 Do you ever get nauseous?
没有 Mmm, no.
没有吗 No?
♪ 抬头 ♪ ♪ Head up ♪
♪ 看这些乌云 ♪ ♪ Look through those clouds of gray ♪
♪ 我知道自从你心如止水 ♪ ♪ I know it's been a long long time ♪
♪ 有很长一段时间了 ♪ ♪ Since you had some peace of mind ♪
♪ 你只赔偿了时间 ♪ ♪ And time is all you need to make amends ♪
兄弟 他简直是天才 Dude, he's a genius.
你没见过三岁大的孩子吗 这很正常 You've never met a three-year-old. This is normal.
这并不正常 This is not normal.
今天所有的博物馆都关门了吗 How are all the museums closed today?
今天是星期一 星期一都通通关门 It's Monday. Everything's closed on Monday.
博物馆 剧院 还有买好吃的肉丸子的地方 Museums, theaters, that amazing meatball place.
我要给每个东西用胶带封好 防止他伤到自己 I gotta tape everything up. Make sure he doesn't hurt himself.
好啊 我意思是 为我好 Oh, that's great. I mean, for me.
你不会相信上周星期五这里发生了什么 You wouldn't believe what happened here last Friday.
一个妓女在这注射毒品 This hooker hit a vein.
泰迪 你想要去公园玩吗 Teddy, do you want to go to the park?
不去 No park!
我意思是 搞得到处是血 I mean, it bled everywhere.
拜托 兄弟 Come on, buddy.
你想要整天都闷在哈德森的公寓里吗 You want to stay in Hudson's apartment all day?
我要去公园 I have to go to the park.
好 他要去公园 Yeah, well, he's going to the park
得找个和你不一样的理由 for a different reason than you're going to the park.
是啊 不过一石二鸟 对吗 Yeah, but two birds, right? One stone.
喂 Hello? Yeah?
你们在哪 Where are you guys?
晚餐快做好了 Dinner's almost ready.
我们在城里 在哈德森家 We're in the city. At Hudson's place.
哈德森是谁 Hudson?
你好 杰克的性感姐姐 Hey, Jake's hot sister.
那个废物吗 That dirtbag?
- 真不敢相信 - 哈德森向你问好 - I can't believe you. - Hudson says hello.
喂 Hello?
她现在长啥样 What does she look like now?
我姐姐吗 My sister?
- 我怀孕的姐姐吗 - 她还性感吗 - My pregnant sister? - She still hot?
你个小疯子 Oh, you're a little crazy person, huh?
妈咪 Mommy!
宝贝 Baby!
你好 Hi.
你好 Hey.
- 嘿 - 嘿 妈妈 - Hey. - Hi, Mama!
嘿 宝贝 Hey, baby.
你叫我带他四处溜达 You told me to take him on a trip.
我们现在回家了 We're going home now.
对孩子来说 这地方不合适 This is not an appropriate place for a child.
对孩子来说 你才是不合适 You're not an appropriate place for a child.
所以我不跟着你们咯 So should I follow you?
不用 别跟着我 No, do not follow me.
嘿 我现在可没得清白了 Hey, uh, I'm out of clean sheets,
但是我们会应付得来的 but we're gonna make this work.
大多数贸易商都是二十多岁 Most of our traders are in their 20s.
这份工作会让你抓狂 This work is gonna kick your ass.
我已经习惯抓狂了 I am used to having my ass kicked.
而且工资 And the salary's...
很低 it's awful.
我知道 这没关系 I'm aware. It's okay.
好吧 瑞奇·卡普兰说你能干 你应该是的 Well, Rich Kaplan says you're good. You probably are.
你打高尔夫吗 You play golf?
偶尔玩玩 你打吗 Yeah, a little bit. You play?
对 一直打 在大学就经常打 Yeah, all the time. I used to play in college.
是的 除非我对产品有信心 Yeah, well,
我不会推荐给你的 I wouldn't recommend it unless I believed in the product myself.
我告诉你 艾米和摩根到了能讲话的年纪 I'm telling you, Emmy and Morgan
他们会感谢你的 are gonna thank you, once they're old enough to talk.
好的 All right.
好 我得挂了 谢谢 霍华德 再见 Okay, I gotta go. Thanks, Howard, bye.
没前台所以我就直接过来这里了 There was no receptionist so I just walked back here.
我注意到了 你知道这是我工作的地方 对吧 I noticed that. You know this is my place of work, right?
你不给我回电话 我还能怎么办 You won't call me back. So what am I supposed to do?
我不知道 听听你的心声 I don't know. Use your inside voice.
她不愿意见我 She won't see me.
我两天没跟泰迪在一起了 I haven't hung out with Teddy in two days.
有一天他去要去看医生 He had a doctor's visit the other day.
我直到第二天才知道这件事 I didn't even know about it until the next day.
他发生什么事了 Whoa, what's wrong with him?
又是那些哮喘流感 That croup-flu thing again.
好的 那 他有发烧吗 Okay, well, what's his temperature?
我不知道 这就是重点啊 哥们 I don't know. That's my point, man.
泰迪现在可能烧到快37℃了 I mean, Teddy could be, like,counting to, like, 100 by now.
应该不太可能 I seriously doubt that.
我只能写一些小小的明信片给他 I'm writing him these little tiny postcards.
我不知道我还可以做啥 I don't know what else to do.
抱歉 我们这里只有小瓶装的水 Sorry, all we have is the small ones.
他下星期会有游泳班的毕业礼 He has his little swim class graduation next week.
如果他们戴着毕业帽而我又不在那怎么办 What if they wear caps and I'm not there?
他妈的 哥们 我真的很伤心 Fuck, man, it's not like I'm unhappy.
你住在哪 Okay, where are you living?
就在我刚刚装修完的房子里 In that house I just finished.
里面只有一张充气床垫 床单都没有 On an air mattress. No sheets.
我真的不懂你怎能他妈的睡在那里三个多月 I don't know how the fuck you slept on that raft for three months.
哥们 都是我自作自受啊 You know what, man? Whatever. I deserve it.
你可以从百货公司 Well, you can begin by going to Target.
买个玛莎史都华的床单 Get the Martha Stewart sheets.They're soft as fuck.
这牌子的床单都特别柔软 I'm telling you.
你到底是要帮我吗 Are you gonna help me?
你可以小声一点吗 Are you gonna use your inside voice?
你到底是要帮我吗 Are you gonna help me?
贾斯汀·卡布雷拉
你的胎儿完全没事 Well, you are a totally uneventful pregnancy.
非常健康 非常沉闷 我们下个月再见吧 Very healthy. Very boring. See you next month.
我们高风险投资的业绩非常好 We are getting a nice bump in our advanced risk investments.
我跟你说 杰克 I gotta say, Jake,
一开始我不肯定你是否做得来 I wasn't sure you were up for this.
但这些数字像野兽一样 But these are some animal numbers.
对啊 哥 你每天早上五点就来上班来怎样 Yeah, bro, what's with the 5:00 A.M. clock-ins?
你是啥 公鸡吗 What are you? Part rooster?
我听闻 只是听闻喔 I hear... just heard,
他真的喜欢鸡鸡 that he does like cock.
cock : 公鸡或鸡鸡
你妹啊 Oh, shit!
我只是听回来 别冲着我发火 I'm just... don't, don't shoot the messenger.
早起的鸟儿有 "鸡" 吃 Early bird gives the beej.
哈 鸡 棒棒的 对 Ha. Cock. Awesome. Yes.
但就菲尔在说的 我们在高收益投资组合中 Uh, but like Phil was saying, we are seeing a ton of reward
获得丰厚的回报 还有 in our high-yield portfolio and...
不好意思 抱歉 Excuse me. Sorry.
若我们把目光放远至第二季度 If we look towards the second quarter,
我们会看到非常可观的数字 we're gonna see some real big numbers
只要我们能够坚持在 if we just stay the course on, um...
抱歉 我去接接电话 不好意思 I'm sorry. I just gotta quickly take this. Excuse me.
嘿 都没事吧 Hey, is everything okay?
不 No! Hey!
不 妈咪 不要 No, Mommy, no!
贾斯汀 是你弟 杰克 有人吗 Justine, it's your brother, Jake, hello?
泰迪 泰迪 快穿上泳裤吧 Teddy. Teddy, we need you to put your trunks on.
你不能光着身子去游泳课的 You cannot be a naked boy in swim class.
我就是要光着身子 I can be a naked boy.
马上就好 Just one second.
泰迪 泰迪 快把泳裤穿上 好吗 Teddy. Teddy, we need to put your trunks on, okay?
嘿 我的长颈鹿在哪 Hey, where's my giraffe?
亲爱的 Honey.
杰克叔叔 杰克叔叔 杰克叔叔 Unky Jake, Unky Jake, Unky Jake!
泰迪 嘿 你可以乖一点吗 Teddy, hey, can you please have soft...
抱歉 哥们 我家里有点事情 Sorry, man. I've got a family emergency.
所以如无意外的话 So I'll be back in a couple of hours tomorrow
我明天晚几个小时才回来 好吗 if it runs any longer, okay?
我刚刚才说你是一头猛兽 I just called you an animal.
我从来没有这样对人说话 I never say that.
对 而我明天就会回到这张椅子上 Right, and I'm gonna be back in that chair tomorrow,
继续做一头猛兽 animal-ing it up.
好吧 你现在要做出一个抉择 Okay, so, you have a choice you have to make.
要不你现在就给我乖乖回去坐好 Either you're the guy who sits right back in the chair right now.
要不你就为了家庭而放弃这份工作 Or you're the guy who leaves work for his family.
好吧 Right.
不 不要给我这个样子 Don't... don't give me that look.
现在不是演甜心先生 哥们 我并不会解雇你 This isn't Jerry Maguire, dude. I won't fire you.
你能帮公司提高业绩 You put up numbers.
但你需要知道这一个决定 But you know this is one of those decisions
会影响你在这里的前途 that will keep you right here.
永远都 In the middle.
不上不下 Forever.
真他妈的激烈喔 Fucking intense.
我明天一大清早就会回来 好吗 像公鸡一样 I'll be back bright and early, okay? Like a rooster.
咯 咯 哥们 Cock, cock, man.
好吧 尼尔 你有什么要给我们看 All right, Neal, what else do you got for us?
"在风险投资方面有丰厚的回报" "There's a lot of reward in risk."
我知道 我刚从杰克口里听过了 Yeah, I just heard Jake say that.
还有其他吗 尼尔 我的老天啊 What else do you got, Neal? Jesus fucking Christ.
对 我刚打算接着他所说的 Right, well, I'm picking up where he left off. Um.
快点吧 计程表在跳 我们走吧 Hurry up. The meter's running. Let's go.
- 快 快 快点吧 - 我来了 - Schnell, schnell, come on. - I'm coming.
我的天啊 Oh, my God.
不要看着我 听我讲就好了 Don't... Look, just let me talk.
你泳衣都没有 You don't even have a bathing suit.
我有四角裤 没问题的 I have on boxer briefs. It's fine.
不见得 Not really.
- 我出来好了 - 不 我们进来好了 - I'll get out. - No, we're coming in.
爹爹 我在游泳喔 Daddy, I'm swimming!
小可爱 你在游泳喔 Buddy, you are swimming.
- 还有妈咪喔 - 真是的 - And Mama, too. - Honestly.
我们出来就好了 Oh, come on. We're getting out.
噢 真的很冰 Oh, that is cold.
丹尼 这样真的很荒唐 Danny, this is ridiculous.
嘿 女士们 嗨 嗨 我是泰迪的老爸 Hey, ladies. Hi, hi. I'm Teddy's daddy.
- 嘿 小家伙 - 来吧 - Hey, buddy. - Come on.
什么 哥们 为啥你抱住我啊 What? Dude, why are you holding onto me?
我待在这里不太舒服 I'm not entirely comfortable here.
对 我也是 Yeah, me neither.
好吧 我抱住他 你们尽管聊吧 Okay, I'll hold him. You guys talk.
来杰克叔叔这里吧 来吧 Go to Uncle Jakey, come on.
- 你来这里干什么 - 我要跟你聊聊 - What are you doing here? - I need to talk to you.
嘿 小家伙 Hey, buddy.
听着 Look.
这只是一时冲动而已 It was a one time thing.
好吗 这只发生一次半 好吗 Okay? That happened one-and-a-half times, okay?
贾斯汀 对不起 Justine, I'm sorry.
我很抱歉 你知道我是怎样的人 I'm sorry, you know I am.
我并不知道我需要什么 但那绝不是我需要的 I don't know what I needed, but it wasn't that.
而我会尽我所能 And I'll do anything.
我每天晚上都会部着泰迪睡 I'll wake up every morning with Teddy
直到你原谅我为止 until you forgive me.
我每天晚上都会起来 I'll get up in the middle of the night
照顾孩子 直到你原谅我为止 with the baby until you forgive me.
你要我做什么都可以 I'll do whatever you need me to do.
但你要让我回家 But you've gotta let me come home.
访客真多 So many visitors.
泰迪 你准备好跳下水了没 Teddy, do you think you're ready to try and jump in?
- 今天吗 - 什么 等一下 - Oh, today? - What? Wait.
不 如果他还未准备好的话 不用勉强 No, he doesn't have to,if he's not ready.
嘿 小家伙 Hey, buddy.
小家伙 你跳下水可以吗 Buddy, you gotta jump in okay?
我们来憋气 好吗 看着爸爸 We gotta go under, okay? Watch Daddy.
像这样 准备好了吗 Like this. Ready?
你先做一次 You do it.
好吧 我们都来憋气 Okay, we gotta go under.
- 我们要做给他看 - 你要憋气吗 - We gotta show him. - You gonna go under?
对 今天是我们最后一天课了 Yeah. Today's our last class.
- 但我不想喔 - 她说得对 - I don't want to. - She's right.
她说得对 你一定要做 She's right. You gotta do it.
你明白吗 我会在这里站着 好吗 You know what? I'll stay up here, okay?
我在这里站着以防他跳下来 I'll stay up here in case he jumps in.
你抓紧杰克 我抓紧你 You hold onto Jake, and I'll hold onto you.
- 没有人会溺水 - 天啊 溺水吗 - Nobody's gonna drown. - Jesus. Drown?
什么 你不是在担心这问题吧 What? Isn't that what you're worried about?
你知道吗 你是新来的 You know what? You're new to this class.
不如你退后一点让姐来 Why don't you just back off?
嘿 我不是新来的 Hey, I'm not new to this class.
我在这班上已经很久了 I been in this class a long time.
我永远都会在这班上 I'm gonna be in this class forever.
好吧 抓紧我 我们要憋气了 Okay. Hold onto me. We're going under.
好吗 泰迪 看着杰克和妈咪 Okay? Teddy, look at Jakey and Mommy.
我们要下潜了 好吗 We're gonna go under. Okay?
你知道吗 我这样做只因为想你闭嘴 You know I'm doing this just so you'll stop talking to me.
很好 我就站着 Great. I'll be right here.
一 One...
二 Two...
三 Three!
- 来吧 小家伙 跳下来吧 - 跳吧 - Come on, buddy. Jump. - Jump.
三个月后
我还以为我们会一起去吃披萨 I thought we were all getting pizza.
她回家了 She's back at the house.
- 她马上要生了 - 什么 - She's in labor. - What?
那你还在这里接我是搞什么鬼 What the fuck are you doing picking me up here?
冷静点 哥们 她才刚出现征兆 Chill out, dude. She's in the first inning.
应该还有好几个小时 Got, like, hours to go.
想发火吗 Wanna blaze?
只是逗你而已 不过我们还是要买披萨 I'm just kidding. We do have to pick up a pizza though.
如果我没买的话她一定宰了我 Fucking kill me if I don't.
"之后猫头鹰宝宝带着他的新猫头鹰妹妹 "And the owl baby took his new owl baby sister,
一起从树上飞下来 "and together they flew down from the tree
飞到他们的小红车上 "to their little red car.
猫头鹰妹妹说 我们快点走吧 "'Let's go fast, 'said the owl baby sister.
猫头鹰宝宝就说 把你的安全带扣好喔" 'Put on your seatbelt, ' said her owl baby brother."
嗨 大家 Hi, guys.
我要把包包放到车里 泰迪要来帮爸爸吗 I'm gonna go put the bag in the car. Teddy, you wanna help Daddy?
- 不要 - 没关系 - No. - It's okay.
我们在看猫头鹰宝宝的故事 We're here and we're reading about baby owls.
好吧 Okay.
叫你弟放松一点 Well, tell your brother to relax.
来亲一个 Kiss.
好吧 Okay.
嘿 你怎样 Hey. How are you doing?
你上一次子宫收缩是什么时候 When was your last contraction?
二十分钟之前 放松点吧 20 minutes ago. Relax.
这情况应该去医院了吧 People should be moving at a different clip here.
嘿 泰迪 妈咪和爹爹要去一去医院 Hey, Teddy, Mommy and Daddy are gonna go to the hospital
你就跟杰克叔叔留在这吧 for a little while, and you're gonna stay here with Unky Jake, okay?
这代表什么 就是甜甜圈 曲奇 What does that mean? Donuts! Cookies!
- 还可以看两部电影 - 三部 - More than two shows! - Three shows!
对 Yeah.
当我出生的时候 谁陪着你 Who stayed with you when I was born?
我真的不知道 I have no idea.
贾斯汀 你搭帐篷的技术就是这么差 Justine, your fort building skills are very structurally unsound.
我快生了 I'm in labor.
说真的 如果是我呢 我就会放多一点灯饰 Honestly, I'd put more sconces in here.
知道了 Noted.
"我是一只青蛙 我的名字是安东..." "I am a frog. My name is Anton..."
天啊 我很讨厌这个故事 Oh, God, I hate this story.
可以换一个吗 Can we change it?
我可是客人喔 I'm the guest.
不 你并不是 No, you're not.
"住了一家三熊 "..Lived a family of three bears.
第一只是强壮的熊 "The first was a great big bear.
第二只是中等身型的熊 "The second was a middling-sized bear.
而第三只就是一只迷你小熊 "And the third was a little teeny-tiny bear.
他们很开心的一起 "And they all lived together, in a fine little house.
住在一间不错的房子" And very happy they were."