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翻译 Carolingo 苏小黛 海云生
翻译 kathy567 glida Margaery 小欠
我经历过一些糟糕的事
时间轴 西·查 噃噃 啾 壬虚浪影 紫夏
有些是真的
校对 布塔高能预警
马克·吐温
我已经不知道什么是真的了 I can't tell what's real and what's not anymore!
后期 渔夫
总监 布塔
我在往哪里飞 Where am I going?
明尼阿波利斯市 先生 Minneapolis, sir.
我要一杯威士忌 I'll take a whiskey.
很抱歉我不能提供 I'm afraid I can't.
伏特加 有什么来什么 Vodka. Whatever you have.
先生 我很抱歉 我不能提供你任何酒精饮品 Sir, I'm sorry. I'm not allowed to give you any alcohol.
谁规定的 Says who?
把你送上飞机的医生 The doctor that carried you onto the plane.
你想要杯水吗 Would you like some water?
1993年10月12日
Drive - R.E.M.
♪ Hey kids where are you ♪
♪ Nobody tells you what to do baby ♪
♪ Maybe you did maybe you walked ♪
♪ Maybe you rocked around the clock ♪
♪ Tick ♪
♪ Tock ♪
詹姆斯 James.
醒醒 醒醒 我们到了 Come on. Come on. We're here.
詹姆斯 James.
别把事情搞得难上加难 Don't make this harder than it needs to be.
我没事 我很好 I'm fine. It's okay.
我不需要这个 I don't need this.
你他妈知道自己什么样子吗 Have you fucking seen yourself?
你现在就是个废人 詹姆斯 You're a fucking wreck, James.
你需要帮助 You need help.
求你了 Please.
博比 你为什么要这样对我 Bobby, why you doing this to me?
你为什么要这样对我 Why you doing this to me?
因为你是我弟弟 Because you're my brother.
我爱你 And I love you.
你让爸妈伤心透了 And you're breaking Mom and Dad's hearts.
詹姆斯 如果继续这样下去 你会死的 James, if you carry on the way you're going, you're gonna die.
詹姆斯 James.
沃尔登森治疗中心
詹姆斯 护士站在拐角处 James, the nurse's station is around the corner.
跟我来 好吗 Come with me, okay?
这家机构是四十多年前 This facility was founded by a group of priests
由一群神父创办的 more than 40 years ago,
接待过超过两万五千名病人 and more than 25,000 patients have passed through our doors.
我们是世界上最大的治疗中心之一 We are one of the largest treatment centres in the world
我们的长期治愈率也是最高的 and have one of the highest long-term success rates.
我们这里有几条严格的规定 We have a few strict rules here.
如果有人发现你持有或使用毒品 酒精 If you are caught in possession and/or using or drinking,
你会立刻被遣送回家 you will be sent home immediately.
如果你对不是工作人员的女性 And if you say anything more than hello to any woman
说了打招呼以外的话 that is not a member of our staff,
你也会被立刻遣送回家 you will be sent home immediately.
为了保障病人的利益和安全 For the sake and safety of our patients...
百万碎片
我让护士给你开了利眠宁和安定 I had the nurse put you on Librium and Diazepam.
贝克医生
它们是脱瘾药物 They're detoxification drugs.
能帮你稳定心率 降低血压 They'll stabilize the heart and keep your blood pressure low.
我们不想让你心脏病发作 中风 We wouldn't want you to have a heart attack or a stroke.
或者癫痫发作 Or a seizure.
好的 我们快好了 Okay, we're getting there, getting there.
我安排你这周看牙医 好吗 I'll have you seen by the dentist this week. Okay?
这是最后一针 最后一下 Alright, this is the last one. Last one.
好了 Alright.
现在来检查一下你的鼻子 好吗 Now, let's look at that nose, shall we?
不 不用管它 Oh, no, we can leave that.
别动 看着我 Be still. Look at me.
平视前方 Look straight ahead.
好的 Alright.
我得先弄断它才能重新调整它的位置 I'm going to have to break it in order to reset it.
-不 你不用 -把手放下 - No, you don't. No... - Put your hands down.
抓紧 好吗 Hold on tight. Alright?
深呼吸 我们要开始了 Take a deep breath. Here we go. And...
女士 请上前 Ma'am, step up.
想磕点药吗 Wanna do some blow?
我没药 我就随便问问 I mean, I don't have any. I'm just wondering.
我能要根烟吗 Can I have a cigarette?
你脸怎么了 What happened to your face?
不好意思 你是聋子还是傻子 I'm sor... Are you deaf, or retarded?
我分不出来 I'm finding it really hard to tell.
你是哪里人 Where are you from?
克利夫兰 Cleveland.
所以你是傻子 So you are retarded.
你还好吗 You okay?
这是个愚蠢的问题 Yeah, it's a stupid question.
你为什么要和我说话 Well, y-you know... Why are you talking to me?
你又不了解我 You don't know me.
我当然了解 Sure I do.
你有问题 You got issues.
所以你在这里 That's why you're here.
我有问题 所以我在这里 I got issues. That's why I'm here.
我奶奶一路开车从芝加哥送我过来 You know, my grandma, she drove me all the way from Chicago.
弗雷先生 Mr. Fray?
我是罗伊 也是这里的病人 I'm Roy, a patient here.
他们让我带你去索耶病区 I was told to bring you down into the Sawyer unit.
我们走吧 Let's go.
你知道你不能 You do know that you're not allowed
和这里的女人深交吧 to fraternize with the women here.
很好 因为你越界的话 Good. 'Cause we can ask you to leave
我们就能遣送你 好吗 if you cross the line. Okay?
你也是病人对吗 You're a patient, right?
那你他妈能干什么 Then what the fuck are you gonna do?
这边走 弗雷先生 This way, Mr. Fray.
行 混蛋 Fine, asshole.
那些是仅供工作人员使用的 Those are for staff only.
所以我们禁止入内 So that is absolutely off-limits.
这是我们的公用厨房 因为是公用的 This is our shared kitchen. You really share it,
所以你可以随时来这里煮咖啡 so you can get coffee whenever you like,
但是煮完以后要收拾干净 好吗 but make sure to clean up after yourself when you're done, okay?
杯子在这里 你会有你自己的杯子 Mugs here. You're gonna get your own.
记得要写上名字 好吗 You gotta remember to put your name on it. Okay?
这是公用电话 This is the communal phone.
你只能在私人时间使用 You get to use that during private time only.
接下来六周这里就是你的家 This is going to be your home for the next six weeks.
每周四早上要记得 Make sure that you check the jobs board
看看工作表 好吗 every Thursday morning, okay?
让我们看看 詹姆斯·弗雷 Let's see, James Fray...
是弗莱 弗莱 跟薯条发音一样 Frey, Frey, Frey, like a fucking French fry, y'know?
这工作很适合你 清理粪便 Isn't that appropriate. Cleaning out the shit.
一定要把马桶刷得一尘不染 好吗 Make sure you scrub those toilets spotless, okay?
你付出的努力就是最后得到的回报 What you put into this is what you're gonna get out of it.
这是我们的公用空间 This is our communal space.
《匿名戒酒会》的书在那边 We keep Big Books over there,
每顿饭后我们都会做脱瘾治疗 and we do step work after every meal.
严禁在公用空间睡觉 Absolutely no sleeping in the communal space.
跟我来 我知道你一下子要记很多东西 Follow me. I know it's a lot coming at you fast,
如果你有问题的话 so if you have any questions,
随时找林肯报备 always feel free to check in with Lincoln.
他是病区主管 He is the Unit Supervisor.
他的房间在那里 His room's down there.
你的房间在这里 Your room's gonna be this way
房间里有酒吗 Is there a mini bar?
那么 And...
我们到了 那是你的床 here we are. That's your bed.
祝你好运 Good luck.
老天爷 Oh, my God!
妈的 Shit!
操 Fuck.
没事的 这只是戒断反应 It's okay. You're just going through withdrawal.
没事的 It's okay.
你会没事的 You'll be fine.
我的天 你的脸真是一团糟 Oh, my God. Your face is so fucked up.
给 Here.
你爆过菊吗 You ever fuck anybody in the ass?
你说什么 Excuse me?
我坐牢的时候迷上这个了 Yeah, I got really into it when I was in prison,
我都不需要在上面 我不挑的 and I don't need to be the giver; I'm not picky anymore.
这里可不是牢房 This ain't fuckin' prison.
你把这话和法官说去 Yeah, tell that to the judge.
这里一半人都是因为狗屁的认罪协议进来的 Half of us are in here on some special plea-bargain bullshit.
别来烦我 Leave me alone.
我只是在告诉你这里什么情况 老兄 Hey, I'm just working the program, man.
把话都说开了而已 I'm just laying it all out there like it is.
你爱听不听 You can take it or leave it.
我他妈不想听 真是谢谢了 I'll fucking leave it, thanks.
好吧 很高兴我们达成了共识 Alright, well, I'm glad we worked that out.
我就把这个放你枕头上了 I'm just gonna leave this on your pillow.
约翰·埃弗利特 性爱忍者 旧金山及全世界
谢谢你的雪茄 汉克 Appreciate the cigars, Hank.
你开什么玩笑 就一件T恤 Are you shitting me? In a T-shirt?
你一定是疯了 小子 You're outta your fucking mind, kid.
坐前面 Hop in front.
你混得可够惨的 You got kinda fucked up, huh?
不 我生下来就这样 No, I was just born this fucking way.
等一下 Here, hold on.
我以前在船上干活的时候会穿这个 I used to wear this when I was working on the boat.
拿去 这是件不错的外套 Take it. It's a good jacket.
不 我不用 我没事 No, I'm good. It's okay.
你什么都不欠我 拿去吧 You don't owe me anything. Now, take it.
好吧 Alright.
这可是件幸运外套 It's a lucky fucking jacket.
终极披萨来了 The ultimate pizza has arrived!
浓郁香辛料配上加厚辣香肠 With zesty herbs and spices and thicker pepperoni
为你带来全新的披萨体验 for a new pizza experience.
老北教堂
只要一口 One bite...
我们去把X光照了 Let's get those X-rays, huh?
爱尔兰威士忌
法国儿童故事 讲述一头小象在母亲被偷猎者杀害后 离开丛林 在城市里的经历
芭芭的故事
I've Been Loving You Too Long - Otis Redding
♪ You were tired... ♪
♪ And you want to be free ♪
♪ My love is growing stronger ♪
♪ As you become a habit to me ♪
♪ Ooh been loving you ♪
妈的贱人 Motherfucking bitch!
送我...送我回去 求你了 Take me... take me back, please.
这就是你那几个说我坏话的朋友吗 These are your friends that talk shit about me?!
听我说 这是你我之间的事 宝贝 Alright, you guys, look, look, it's about you and me, baby.
是你我...你相信我的 对吗 It's you... You believe me, right?
你这个混账猪头 宝贝 宝贝 You pig-faced motherfucker!! Baby, baby,
保我出去 好不好 bail me out, okay?
♪ On my knees ♪
♪ Please don't make me stop now ♪
♪ I love you I love you
♪ I love you with all my heart And I can't stop ♪
你知道吗 你昨天的活儿干得很糟糕 You know, you did a shitty job yesterday.
我觉得看起来挺干净的 Looked pretty clean to me.
那是因为你本来就脏 That's because you're filth.
你不知道怎样算干净 And you don't know what clean is.
你什么毛病 What's your problem?
我没有毛病 你这样的人来这里 I don't have a problem. People like you, you come in here,
这辈子什么都不用愁 you've got the world handed to you on a plate.
你什么都不懂 You know? You don't know shit.
好吧 罗伊 滚出去 Alright, Roy, get the fuck outta here.
不 你得先知道怎么打扫 No, not until you learn how to clean.
你得先知道怎么做打扫 You need to learn how to clean.
是啊 你想要一尘不染 对吧 That's right. You want it to be spotless, right?
会一尘不染的 And it will be spotless.
那我们先从你开始 Let's start with you.
该死 救命 Oh, goddammit! Help!
-擦干净是吧 -不 救命 - Clean up? - No!! Help! Help!
快住手 住手 救命 Stop! Stop it! Stop! Help!!!
-你在逗我吗 -他想杀我 - You're kidding? - He's trying to kill me.
-这他妈是水 -救命 - It's fucking water. - Help! Help.
天啊 Jesus.
-你要干什么 -罗伊 赶紧他妈起来 - What are you doing? - Roy, get the fuck up.
-不 -快点 伙计 - No! - Come on, man.
-别过来 别他妈... -什么情况 - Stay away from me! Stay the fuck-- - What's going on in here?
慢着 等等 Wait, wait, wait.
他疯了 He's outta his fucking mind!
妈的放开我 垃圾 Get the fuck off me, you shit.
没事 我没事 我很好 It's alright. I'm okay. I'm okay.
我只是...天啊 I just... Oh, my God.
匿名戒酒会
你好 我是博比 我出去了 请留言 Hey, this is Bob. I'm out. Leave a message.
博比 天啊 你在哪 兄弟 Bob... Jesus... Where are you, man?
我得跟你谈谈 我... I just need to talk to you. I just...
该死 Goddammit!
这些脱瘾药...在搅乱我的大脑 These detox pills are just... fucking with my head!
不行 我做不到 I can't... I can't do this.
抱歉 兄弟 对不起 I'm sorry, buddy. I'm sorry.
跟我来 詹姆斯 Come with me, James.
如果你要赶我出去 请随意 Look, if you're gonna fucking kick me out, just do it, man.
要跟我说说到底怎么回事吗 詹姆斯 Want to tell me what happened, James?
我可是听说你威胁了一个病友 'Cause I heard you were threatening a fellow patient.
我他妈连碰都没碰他 I didn't lay a fucking finger on him.
他就是个弱智 还想装老大 He's just a fucking retard playing boss,
想把我当成他的狗来使唤 trying to treat me like his bitch.
-好吧 先冷静 -得了吧 去你妈的 - Okay, calm down. - Alright, fuck you, man.
-我让你冷静 -不然呢 你要把我扔出去吗 - I said, calm down. - Or what? You're gonna fuckin' throw me out?
听我说 詹姆斯 Listen to me, James.
有三个州都在通缉你 You're wanted in three states.
你现在去外面稍有动作 任何动作 You do anything out there right now, anything...
你都会进监狱 you're going to prison.
你想那样吗 That what you want?
看来当总统是不可能了 是吧 I guess that rules the presidency out, then, huh?
这样吧 林肯 You know what, Lincoln?
不如你去看看罗伊的情况吧 why don't you go check on Roy?
好主意 That's a good idea.
是啊 你快去看看罗伊吧 Yeah, why don't you go check on Roy?
其实我根本不需待在这里 Look, truth is, I don't need to be here.
我跟其他那些人不一样 我出了意外 好吗 I'm not like these other people. I had an accident, okay?
所有人都是在小题大做 And everyone's making a big deal out of nothing.
真的是小事吗 Is it really nothing?
最近状态不太好 It's been a bad time recently.
我承认 Y'know, I'll admit that.
我只是需要些时间去想明白 I just need some time to figure it out.
现在的目的也正是如此 That's exactly what this time is.
不 这是为了戒酒 No, this... this is about AA.
你真想知道的话 我觉得这就是狗屎 And it's dog shit if you really want to know what I think.
我不想知道 I don't.
我深知这里的治疗是有作用的 I know that this program works.
在我看来 你可能根本没给它机会 And it seems to me, you might not have given it a try.
因为根本就他妈没意义 'Cause there's no fucking point.
你知道为什么吗 因为这是基于对上帝的信仰 You know why? 'Cause it's based around God,
而我不信上帝 and I don't believe in God.
上帝 或者是一种更高的权力 高于你自身 God. A higher power, a power greater than yourself
随便吧 不管你怎么形容 更高的权力 Either way, however you want to put it, higher power,
你其实指的就是上帝 对吧 what you actually mean is God. Right?
弗莱先生 我跟你说实话吧 Mr. Frey, I'm gonna level with you.
这里是个戒毒中心 We are a drug-rehabilitation centre
我们的唯一使命就是帮助有瘾的人 whose sole purpose is to help addicts.
不是基督徒或犹太人 Not Christians or Jews,
也不是穆斯林或佛教徒 而是有瘾的人 or Muslims or Buddhists... but addicts.
每个有瘾的人都需要重塑 And every addict needs structure.
他们需要一个强有力的根基 They need a strong foundation
以及相应的支持系统 如果他们想活下来的话 and support system if they ever hope to survive.
谁说我有瘾了 我没有瘾 Who said I'm an addict? I'm not an addict.
我没有瘾 好吗 I'm not an addict. Okay?
-好吧 -我可能是个废物 但我没有瘾 - Okay. - I might be fucked up. I'm not an addict.
我们这里有一句格言 一步一步来 Well, we have a saying here: It's one day at a time.
早餐十分钟后开始 And in about 10 minutes, it's breakfast.
如果你有任何想聊的话题 我在312房间 I'll be in room 312 if you want to talk to me about anything.
好吗 Okay?
我不能再吃这些药了 I can't take these... fucking meds anymore.
我帮你跟贝克医生说说 好吗 I'll talk to Dr. Baker for you, okay?
第一周是最难的 The first week's the hardest.
菠菜和粗粮 ...spinach and roughage.
每样都要双份的 Double of everything.
你觉得呢 詹姆斯 你是废物吗 What do you say, James? Are you fucked up?
我也算是废物 我的伙计们也是废物 'Cause I'm a little fucked up. My buddies are fucked up.
所以我们觉得不如过来跟你一起吃吧 So we thought we might just eat here with you, y'know?
这是废物之桌 对吧 This is the fucked-up table, right?
现在是了 It is now.
这是艾德 那是泰德 不是亲戚 This is Ed and that's Ted. No relation.
这位艾德搞了他铁哥们的老婆 So Ed here fucked his best friend's wife.
他哥们火了 His best friend got pissed off
把他的钻孔植发拔了 and pulled his hair plugs out.
很操蛋吧 Ain't that some shit?
所以他才戴着那邦乔维式的头巾 That's why he wears that Bon Jovi thing.
无意冒犯 但我没打算交朋友 Look, no offense, but, uh, I don't want to be friends.
我理解 我最不需要的就是再交几个朋友了 I understand that. The last fucking thing I need is more friends.
只是觉得你整罗伊的方式挺有意思的 Just thought it was kinda funny the way you whipped Roy's ass.
他就是个卑鄙小人 He's a little weasel, y'know?
我没整他 I didn't.
是吗 Really?
那好吧 Alright, then--
你们知道这是鸡肉还是鱼肉吗 You guys know if that's chicken or fish?
我们吃吃看吧 Should we just roll the dice?
你听到我说的了吗 詹姆斯 Did you hear what I said, James?
你明白我说的吗 Do you understand what I said?
我说得再直接点 Let me put it more bluntly.
我们看了你所有的血检报告 We've looked at all your blood work,
所有项目都查了 examined all the tests.
你的身体遭受了 Your body has suffered a pattern
如此严重的 of such profound
持久的虐待 我... and prolonged abuse, I'm...
我很吃惊你居然还能站立 更别说走路了 surprised you can even stand, let alone walk.
你对所有重要器官都造成了几乎致命的损伤 You've done near-fatal damage to all your major organs.
肺 胃 膀胱 Lungs, stomach, bladder,
肾 肝 心脏 kidneys, liver, your heart.
一切 Everything.
我从没见过 I've never seen...
这么年轻的人居然会出现这么严重的退化 this degree of degradation in someone so young.
如果你再度复吸 If you were to start using again,
你很可能马上就会 it's more than likely that you would go into
心搏骤停 cardiac arrest immediately.
再也醒不过来 And that would be it.
哪怕再喝一口酒 都可能导致你在几天内死亡 Even a single drink could result in death within days.
游戏结束 The end.
生命终结 Finished.
什么鬼 约翰 滚出去 What the fuck, John?! Get the fuck outta here, man!
我想着你可能想要人陪陪 I just thought you might want some company.
-滚出去 约翰 -没事的 - Get the fuck out, John. - No, it's okay.
不 不行 No, it's not okay.
-放我嘴里就行 你试试 -不行 - Just put it in my mouth. Just try it. - It's not okay.
不 你要干什么 No. What are you doing?!
别他妈跪着 Get off your fuckin' knees,
妈的 快起来 goddammit. Get up!
不 来嘛 No. Ah, come on.
我操 够了 打住 Fuck. Stop! Stop, stop!
-对不起 -快他妈裹上 - I'm sorry. - Put on a fucking towel.
你想打我的话尽管动手吧 You can hit me if you want.
不不不 我不想打你 No, no, no. I don't want to hit you.
不 你想 我能看出来 你很生气 Yeah, you do. I can see that. You're mad at me.
-不 我不气 -我做了错事 - No, I don't. - I did something wrong.
约翰 我不会打你 John, I'm not gonna hit you.
-来嘛 很好玩的 你可以打我 -不 不好玩 - Come on, it's fun. You can hit me. - No, it's not fun.
-我不觉得 别碰我 -打我啊 - I don't find it-- Stay off me. - Hit me!
-对不起 抱歉 -妈的 约翰 - I'm sorry. I'm sorry. - Goddammit, John.
-别来惹我 -对不起 - Keep me alone. - I'm sorry.
好的 It's alright.
我这辈子做过很多成功的事 Having succeeded in a lot of things in my life,
我觉得自己最怕的就是这次无法成功 I think my biggest fear was that I wasn't gonna succeed in this.
但你们给了我一个无与伦比的礼物 But you guys give me an incredible gift.
-我知道我... -我赌他撑不过两周 - A gift that I know... - I give him two weeks.
我赌一周 I give him one.
不 能到两周 要下注吗 No, it'll be two. You want to make a wager?
一步一步来 谢谢 One step at a time. Thank you.
这都是放屁 All this is bullshit.
-等等 小子 -天啊 别来烦我 - Hey, hang on a second, kid. - Oh, God, leave me alone.
进来 我们聊聊 来吧 Come back inside. Let's talk. Come on.
别他妈跟着我了 打住 Stop fucking following me! Stop!
你到底为什么这么害怕 What are you so goddamn afraid of?
-你去死 -好吧 我去死 - Fuck you. - Yeah, fuck me,
所有人都去死 你也去死 fuck everybody, go fuck yourself.
死在街上 死在你自己的呕吐物里 Die in the street in your own puke.
关你屁事 Why do you give a shit?
说实话 不关我事 You know, frankly, I don't give a shit.
那就滚远点 Well, then, fuck off!
是吗 我觉得你是在乎的 Really? I think you do fucking care.
我还觉得你他妈是个懦夫 I also think you're a fucking pussy
你根本没胆量面对 and you don't have the balls to face it!
我就是这么想的 That's what I think!
看来你还没完全死透 So you do have life left in you.
你他妈想怎样 What is it you fucking want?
重点不是我想怎样 而是你想怎样 It's not what I want. It's what you want.
你太害怕了 你都快窒息了 You're choking to death, you're so fucking scared.
但这只是花招 是你的大脑在作祟 But it's a trick. It's a mind-fuck.
你可以战胜它 You can win this thing.
你可以战胜它 You can win it.
-我做不到 -你当然可以 - I can't. - Yeah, you can!
你还是先放开我吧 Why don't you fuckin' let go of me?
我的肋骨脆得跟小鸟似的 I got ribs like a fuckin' blue jay.
这样吧 我跟你做笔交易 Tell you what. I'll make a deal with you.
你再进去待24小时 You go back in there for 24 hours,
就24小时 一秒不多 just give it 24 hours, that's it,
如果明天此时你还跟现在的感觉一样 and if you still feel this way this time tomorrow,
我会帮你收拾行李 用三明治帮你送行 I'll pack your bags and send you away with a sandwich.
就24小时 Twenty-four fucking hours.
成交吗 Deal?
这并不意味着我们成朋友了 It doesn't mean we're fucking friends.
当然不是 Damn right it doesn't.
我看不上你那天糟蹋我们的房间 Didn't appreciate you disrespecting our room the other day.
也许你觉得这个是笑话 但对我而言不是 You might think this is a joke, but it's not for me.
我不会在这里待很久了 Well, I'm not gonna be here much longer,
你今晚尽管把那玩意儿插进自己屁眼吧 so you can enjoy sticking that in your asshole tonight.
那在你走之前 我希望你少惹乱子 Well, meantime, I can do without your bullshit.
我也希望你别再死吹那根破单簧管了 Yeah, I can do without your murdering the goddamn clarinet!
该死 Goddammit.
怎么样 兄弟 What's up, buddy?
你来这里做什么 What are you doing here?
今天是探访日 不然你以为我来干什么 It's visiting day. What you think I'm doing?
那些是什么 What's all this?
我给你带了点东西 I, uh, brought you some stuff.
你不用这样的 You didn't have to do that.
我想这样 来 看看 I wanted to. Here, take a look.
还是就聊聊天吧 I'd rather just talk.
看一眼吧 Just take a look.
好样的 妈 Good job, Mom.
还有呢 There's more.
很多人联系了我们 想知道你现在怎么样了 Bunch of people reached out, wanted to see how you're doing.
朱莉和柯克让我给你带好 Julie and Kirk send their best.
北极眼呢 她联系你了吗 What about Arctic Eyes? She check in with you yet?
没有 她没消息 No. No, nothing from her.
我戒了 I quit.
万一我已经无可救药了呢 What if I'm fucked up beyond repair?
我在电视上看过一个节目 I saw this thing on TV,
讲的是在日本 about how in Japan...
他们用金子去修复破损的物品 they, like... repair broken objects with gold.
就好像瑕疵已经成了它自身的一部分 It's like the flaw becomes a part of its history.
也成为了它美好的一部分 Part of what makes it beautiful.
我身上没有美好的部分 Nothing about what I am is beautiful.
我想着你可以镶几颗金牙 I was thinking maybe you should get some gold teeth.
出院的人只有百分之十五不复吸 Only 15% stay sober after they leave this place.
这还只是第一年 And that's only after the first year.
这是真实数据 他们不广而告之的数据 Those are the real statistics. The ones they don't advertise.
你为什么说这些屁话 Why are saying that shit?
这是事实 It's a fact.
那是谁 Who's that?
拜托 Come on.
我们回去吧 Let's go back.
我打算在外面多坐一会儿 I think I might just stay here a while.
是吗 Yeah?
下周见 See you next week.
我下周再来见你 I'm gonna see you next week.
行 Sure.
你为什么打给我 Why are you calling me?
难道没人告诉你我去了哪里或者 But didn't anyone tell you where I am or...
我在做什么 我是说 what I'm doing? I mean--
詹姆斯 现在真的不合适 James, this really isn't a good time.
你觉得现在对我就合适吗 是我的派对时间吗 What do you think this is for me, fucking party time?
詹姆斯 我现在不行 James, I'm not doing this right now!
我不是那个意思 我知道我让你受了很多罪 Look, I didn't mean that. I know I put you through a lot.
我就是以为我在这里 你会高兴 你懂吗 I just thought you'd be... happy I was here, is all, y'know?
我是很高兴 I am.
等等 你是谁 Wait, who is this?
我以为你知道 现在我有点生气了 I thought you knew. Now I'm offended.
别 别生气 我就是没想到... No, don't be. I just wasn't expecting...
你是谁 Who is this?
今天我奶奶说你很帅 My grandma thought you were very handsome today.
真的吗 你确定她说的不是我哥哥 She did, did she? You sure she didn't mean my brother?
你怎么知道我会接电话 How did you know I'd answer?
我不知道 I didn't.
你知道我们是最近十年来 Hey, you know we're the youngest two in here
这里最年轻的两人吗 by at least 10 years?
我不知道 你怎么知道的 No, I-I didn't know that. How'd you know that?
男女不能说话是什么破规定 It's bullshit that men and women can't talk to each other.
的确 Yeah.
我猜这里不应该让病人感觉置身真实世界 I guess it's not supposed to feel like the real world in here.
他们在阻断我们的天性 They're shutting us off from something that's completely natural.
我应该怎么做 What am I supposed to do?
离开这里后 再也不跟男人说话 Leave this place and never talk to another man again?
见鬼 我不能把那个也戒了 Shit, I can't quit that too.
很高兴你打来了 I'm glad you called.
有你在我很幸运 I'm lucky I got you.
讲堂见吧 See you in the Lecture Hall, I guess.
转身 Turn around.
-转身 -对 - Turn around? - Yeah.
被逮到了 Busted.
不是我奶奶认为你帅 It wasn't my grandma that thought you were handsome.
是我 It was me.
Into dust - Mazzy Star
♪ Still ♪
♪ Falling ♪
♪ Breathless and on... ♪
♪ Again ♪
♪ Inside ♪
每日工作表 周日 周一 周二 周三 周四 周五 周六 煮咖啡 詹姆斯 打扫露台 艾德 打扫洗手间 泰德
♪ Today ♪
♪ Beside me ♪
♪ Today ♪
♪ A round ♪
♪ Broken ♪
♪ In two ♪
詹姆斯 她挺漂亮 对吗 James. She's pretty, right?
是 挺漂亮的 对 Yeah, she's pretty, yes.
她22岁 过来 你可以约她出去 She's 22. Come here. You can take her out if you want.
我对那天的事很抱歉 I feel bad about the other day,
-我想补偿你 -行行 过去了 - and I want to make it up to you. - Okay, okay, let it go.
不 你想对她做什么都可以 No, you can do whatever you want to her.
我是她爸 她什么都听我的 I'm her father, so she'll do what I say.
-老天啊 -怎么 这不好吗 - Jesus Christ! - What, is that bad?
她是你女儿啊 伙计 She's your fucking daughter, man.
所以是不好 So, yeah.
抱歉了 伙计 I'm sorry, man.
评头论足的混蛋 Fucking judgmental prick.
谢谢 Appreciate that.
见鬼 这咖啡难喝爆了 Goddamn, that'll make a gorilla shit the tree house.
很高兴我能帮上忙 I'm glad I can be of service.
-所以你改变主意了 -什么 - So you decided to flip the tables, huh? - What?
24小时已经过了 你还在这里 Well, it's been longer than 24 hours. You're still here.
其实我正要走 I was just on my way out, actually.
不用感到羞耻 There's no shame in it.
你决定留下 You decided to stay.
不 我决定不走 No, I decided not to leave.
我怕你起来阻止我 Don't want to be responsible
落得心脏病发作 for you having a fucking heart attack trying to stop me.
所以纯粹是无私奉献 So it was an entirely selfless act?
-去你的 -不管你怎么修饰 - Fuck you. - No matter how you slice it...
话还没说完呢 詹姆斯 We were having a conversation here, James.
我才刚说到重点 I was just getting to the good shit.
准备好换个新笑容了吗 Alright, you ready for your brand-new smile?
这个笑容不好吗 What's wrong with this one?
好得很 我们走吧 Nothing. They're perfect. Let's get outta here.
小子 听我说 Alright, kid, look.
我知道你很有种 不过 I know you got a pair of balls of your own, but...
你可能会用得上这个 I figure you might need these, too.
为什么 Why?
詹姆斯 他们不会给你打麻药的 James, they're not gonna give you... anesthesia,
也不会给你止疼药 painkillers, none of it.
不能给你 They can't.
只要你还是治疗中心的病人就不行 Not while you're a patient at the treatment centre.
爱尔兰威士忌
好 Okay.
开始疼 It starts hurting...
你就捏 you start squeezing.
好了 Alrighty.
好了 我给你调低一点 Here we go. Okay, I am just gonna lower you just a bit.
詹姆斯 James...
来吧 There we go.
我们能把书拿开吗 Do you mind if we move the book?
芭芭的故事
我希望你们别拿开 I... I'd rather you didn't.
好 好 Okay, okay.
开始了 詹姆斯 Here we come, James.
张嘴 转向我 Open. Please turn towards me.
谢谢 Thank you. Just...
我就是检查一下 I'm just checking things.
好 好 Okay. Oh! Ah! Okay.
给我棉球 Cotton, please?
好 Alright.
好 Okay.
我们得动作快点 来 We've gotta move quickly. Here we go.
来... And here we...
这只是预防措施 This is... this is just a precaution.
-预防什么 -以免你挣扎我伤到你的喉咙 - For what? - So I don't injure the back of your throat.
-我的喉咙 -你不能乱动 - My throat? - I need you to be still.
这是为了以防万一 But in case, this is a precaution.
我们会尽快做完 詹姆斯 We'll move as fast as we can, James.
-好 -绑紧 - Okay. - Alright, tight.
好 按住他的头 Okay, hold his head.
你准备好了吗 Are you ready?
好了 开始 Okay, here we go.
开始 詹姆斯 张嘴 张嘴 好 Here we go, James. Open. Open. Okay.
见鬼 Oh, shit.
你找到我了 You found me.
请进 Well, come in.
想坐的话可以坐沙发 There's the couch there if you'd like.
要咖啡吗 Coffee?
好 谢谢 Sure. Thanks.
那是你的吗 That's yours?
不 是我男友的 No, that's my boyfriend's.
我骑马 I ride.
这匹马养了大概十年了 Had him about 10 years.
原来 Turns out...
还是有办法不摧毁生命 而是哺育它的 there's a way to feed the soul, not just destroy it.
我们有时也会去钓鱼 We'd go on fishing trips... now and then.
我一直不擅长垂钓 但... I was never good with a rod, but...
我喝酒的本事绝对不输 I can drink like a fish.
我曾经也是 I could too once.
-但你不是匿名戒酒会的人 -我是 - But you're not AA. - Yeah.
这里的人都是匿名戒酒会成员 We're all AA here.
在这里工作的所有人 Everyone who works in this joint,
从门卫到咨询师 from the janitors to the counsellors.
全都有瘾 We're all addicts.
我不知道我要怎么 离开这里 Well, I don't know how I'm supposed to... leave here
然后再也不吸可卡因或者喝酒 and never smoke crack or drink a drop of alcohol again.
你指望我余生都那么过吗 You expect me to do that for the rest of my fucking life?
我爱可卡因 I love crack.
爱死了 I fuckin' love it.
我没法戒 没办法 And I can't stop. I can't.
詹姆斯 只要你意识到你没有选择 James, as soon as you realize that there is no choice,
选择就会出现 there's a choice.
你懂吗 You see?
听起来狗屁不通 Sounds like a load of horseshit.
也许吧 Maybe.
但管用 But it works.
你刚迈出了第一步 You just did the first step.
匿名戒酒会推行十二步康复法
如果这是十二步之一 那我只走这一步 Well, if it's one of the 12, it's the only one I'm doing.
这就说到了 Which brings us to...
第五步 step five.
第五步 The fifth step.
我们已经向上帝 向自己 We have admitted to God, to ourselves,
也向别人 坦诚了我们错误的本质 and to another human being, the exact nature of our wrongs.
现在 我想说的是 Now, what I want to say about that is that...
你们的罪是可以饶恕的 your sins are pardonable.
宽恕是存在的 There is forgiveness.
这就是第五步的核心 That's really what the fifth step is about.
通过告解得到宽恕 Forgiveness through confession.
尝试去原谅那些我们认为伤害了自己的人 Seeking to forgive others that we believe have harmed us.
克利夫兰布朗橄榄球队
老子 道德经
其安易持 "What is rooted will grow.
合抱之木 生于毫末 A giant tree grows from a single seed.
千里之行 始于足下 The journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step.
无执 故无失 If you have nothing, you have nothing to lose."
罗伊 Roy!
后退 老头 你挡了我的路 Get back, old man! You're in my way!
回去 老头 退下 Get back, old man! Stand down!
去死 退下 退下 退下 Fuck you! Get back! Get back! Get back!
我对天发誓 再看我 Look at me again and I swear to God,
我就打得你脑浆迸裂 I'll bash your brains in, man!
-我对天发誓 -罗伊 - I swear to God! - Roy?
我要杀了你 我要...你 I'll kill you. I'll fuckin'... you.
过来 来 来 C'mere. Come on. Come on!
来啊 你过来 Come on, you! Come on.
过来 过来 C'mere, c'mere.
-你想怎样 罗伊 -罗伊 这里没有罗伊 - What do you want, Roy? - Roy? There's no Roy!
我是神 I'm a fucking god!!
你和我中间只隔了这根棍子 And the only thing between you and me is this fucking staff!
你听到没 你要屈服 You hear me? So you submit.
罗伊 把灯放下 好吗 Roy, put the fucking lamp down, okay?
屈服 你要向我屈服 Submit!! You will submit to me,
否则我对天发誓 or I swear to God,
-我会要你好看 -好好好 - I'll fucking injure you. -Alright, alright, alright.
投降 投... Surrender. Shhh! Surr...
不不不 他们不喜欢他 No, no! No! They don't like him!!
好了 好了 就你和我 看着我 Alright, alright. It's just you and me. Look at me.
嘘 你都不祈祷 Shhh! You didn't pray.
我想帮你 我想帮你 你需要祈祷 I wanna help you. I wanna help you. You need to pray.
祂在听着 你要在上帝面前跪拜 And he's listening. And you're gonna submit before God,
否则就是对抗至高权力 or fight the Higher Power!
跪下 跪下 Get on your knees! Get down...
-这样吗 -闭上眼睛 - Like this? - Close your eyes.
闭上眼睛 双手合拢 Close your eyes!! Put your hands together.
我们要祈祷 我们要祈祷 We're gonna pray. We're gonna pray.
借由比我强大的力量 By a power greater than me,
我会为你举行仪式 好吧 I'm gonna do you a service, okay?
不 No!
对不起 对不起 I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
对不起 我要下地狱了 I'm sorry. I'm going to hell.
-表演结束了 回房间去 -对不起 - Show's over! Go back to your rooms! - I'm sorry.
我说了表演结束了 I said show's over!
-你一整晚都在这 -差不多 - You been here all night? - Pretty much.
我们去散步吧 Let's take a walk.
你凭什么觉得 What makes you think
你这个样子我会愿意和你散步 I'm going anywhere with you looking like that?
-我什么样子 -你这一身什么玩意 - Looking like what? - What the hell are you wearing?
我来告诉你 小子 Let me tell you something, buddy boy.
这副墨镜可值一辆好车的首付 These glasses are a down payment on a pretty fuckin' decent car.
好吧 看到这块表了吗 Okay? You see this watch?
这块表的含金量足够高 There's enough gold in this fucking watch,
如果我拿它打你 你会当场毙命 where if I hit you, it'd kill you instantly.
我是说你的连体衣 I was talking about the onesie.
这种玩意 That's the kind of thing
是我妈会让我在拍全家福时穿的 my mom would put me in for a family portrait.
随你怎么说 Yeah, whatever.
你怎么样 How you doing?
不知道 I dunno.
还行吧 Fine, I guess.
别扯了 和我说实话 Cut the bullshit. It's me you're talking to.
有些日子里我感觉还好 Some days I feel okay,
有些日子我只想爬进黑暗的洞里死掉 others I just want to crawl up in a dark hole and die.
很好 那你还不错 Well, good. You're doing okay, then.
坚持吧 Just hold on.
是吗 你知道什么 你也是个毒虫 Oh, really? What would you know? You're a fuckin' cokehead.
我当时还小 I was just a kid, y'know?
我在街上流浪了几个月 And I was on the streets for several months,
认识了一个家伙 大鼻子迈克 and I met this guy, Mike the Nose.
好笑吧 大鼻子迈克 How about that? Mike the Nose?
他算是镇上的英雄人物 He was kind of like the town hero.
道上混的 有一辆凯迪拉克 你懂的 He was a gangster, had a Cadillac. You know, the whole deal.
总之 他和他的妻子吉娜收养了我 Anyhow, he and his wife Geena, they adopted me.
收留了我 让我的生活好起来了 Took me in and made my life good.
然后吉娜得了癌症 And then Geena gets cancer and
她以异于常人的速度去世了 she dies way quicker than a human should have to.
当然 迈克倍受打击 Of course, Mike went off the rails.
染上了毒瘾 吃喝嫖赌 Got into coke and whores and, y'know, liquor.
老套的情节 The usual shit, y'know.
然后他...他就消失了 And then he just... just disappeared.
然后... And...
我失去了所有亲人 I didn't have anybody.
完全迷失了 Completely lost.
所以我迅速染上恶习 So I went after it pretty hard.
大约一年后 About a year later...
有一天晚上 我听到厨房里有声音 one night, I heard this noise in my kitchen.
我下楼去 当然拿着枪 So I go downstairs, with a gun, of course,
我差点朝着这个 and I nearly put one in
外表健康正常的家伙 the back of the head of this healthy-looking,
后脑开一枪 他当时抱怨着 put-together guy, y'know, who was bitching
我的冰箱里什么都没有 about how my refrigerator was empty.
原来是迈克 It was fuckin' Mike.
然后...他告诉了我这个地方 And... he told me about this place.
他说 And he said...
"莱尼 我来带你去那里" "Lenny, I've come to take you there."
他说 "你将会不好受一段时间 He said, "Now, you're gonna have some shitty days,
或许是你这辈子最不好受的日子 probably the shittiest days you ever had in your life,
你的灵魂会受到煎熬 and you're gonna have a pain in your soul
是你从未想过的煎熬 like you never dreamed you'd have.
但你会熬过去 But you'll get through it...
将来会戒干净 自由地生活" and you will live sober and you will live free."
他戒干净自由地生活了吗 还是... And did he live free and sober, or...?
于是那晚 我们一起出去庆祝 So that night, we went out to celebrate.
过了那么久之后 我们第一次一起吃晚饭 It was our first dinner after all that time, y'know.
我们吃完后 Well, we finish up and
到前门去让泊车员开车过来 we go out front to the valet to get the car,
然后他被一群 and he gets gunned down by a
混蛋债主开枪打死了 bunch of motherfuckers that he owed money to.
就是这样 And that was it.
你知道我做了什么吗 You know what I did?
你来了这里 You came here.
我找出了那些混蛋里的每一个人 I went and found every last motherfucking one of those guys
还有他们的老大 and the people they worked for.
然后我来了这里 And then I came here.
我备受我的过去和我做过的坏事的折磨 I'm tortured by who I used to be and all the horrific things I did.
有一些事在我脑海中不断循环 It just runs in a loop in my head, some of it.
可能看起来不像 And it... and it might not look like it...
但我每一天都想一死了结 but I wanna kill myself every fucking day.
但我还是坚持了下来 But I hold on.
因为我想到了迈克 'Cause I think of Mike.
因为我答应了他 我不会食言的 'Cause I made a promise and I don't break a promise.
我会戒干净 活得自由 And I will live sober. And I will live free.
你可以做到吗 You think you could do that?
你可以坚持下去吗 You think you can hold on?
上帝赐予我平静 God grant me the serenity
接受无法改变之事 to accept the things I cannot change,
赐予我勇气 改变可改变之事 the courage to change the things I can,
赐予我智慧 可分辨这二者 and the wisdom to know the difference.
大家今天做得不错 Good work today, guys.
你做得很好 孩子 You did good, kid.
你要记住 这家伙是个警长 And you gotta remember, this fucking guy is a sheriff,
所以记住了 好吧 so keep that in mind, right?
他长得就像杰基·格里森 Well, he looks exactly like Jackie Gleason.
你要去哪 不继续听了吗 Where you going? You're gonna learn something here.
操 抱歉 Oh, fuck. I'm sorry.
总之 他把车停在了前院里 Anyways, what he would do is, he'd pull up in the front yard.
他没下车 按了按喇叭 He didn't get out of the car. He honked the horn.
于是我们都摇摇晃晃走到门廊 So we all stagger out on the fuckin' porch,
神志不清的... all fucked up and everything...
我记不清了 但我没想到他活到了四十四岁 I can't remember, but I was surprised he lived to 44, y'know.
间皮瘤还是什么病来着 但当时... Mesothelioma, or whatever they call it now, but back then...
下午四点小屋见
造成灾难的元凶 A recipe for disaster is what it was.
我只知道这个 That's all I know.
欢迎 Welcome.
我猜你有女友 So I suppose you have a girlfriend.
你为什么会这么想 Why would you assume that?
因为你上过大学 大学里的所有人 'Cause you went to college and everybody in college
都忙着约会 上床 破处 is dating or fucking or losing their virginity.
-你为什么觉得我上过大学 -你上过吗 - What makes you think I went to college? - Did you?
上过 Yeah.
那你是怎么破处的 So how'd you lose your virginity?
我是怎么破处的 How'd I lose my virginity?
你不会想知道的 You... you don't wanna know.
我想知道 可以说明你是个怎样的人 Yeah, I do. It says a lot about a person.
我当时十六岁 I was 16.
挺...挺晚的吧 That's pretty... pretty late, right?
是的 不是 我是说 You know, it is. No, I mean,
我朋友们都比我早两三年 my friends had lost theirs two or three years before.
所以我当时 很有压力 So I was, uh... feeling the pressure, you know?
那天是毕业舞会 And, uh... it was prom night.
-很浪漫 -并不是 - That's romantic. - Well, mm... no.
我其实没有女伴 I didn't actually have a date, and, uh...
是和一个妓女在我妈的车后座上做的 It was with a whore in the back of my mom's car.
她恶心得要命 She was fucking disgusting.
她身上有臭味 And she smelled bad.
还用下流的假声和我说话 And she just talked to me in this fake dirty voice.
很快就完事了 完全... It was over in seconds. It was...
不浪漫 not at all romantic.
然后我回家 说我玩得很开心 And so I went home and said I had a good evening and...
喝了半瓶野火鸡威士忌 哭着睡着了 drank half a bottle of Wild Turkey and cried myself to sleep.
很可悲吧 It's pretty pathetic, I know.
很可悲 It's pathetic, huh?
不 No.
没有攻击一棵小树苗可悲 It's not as pathetic as attacking a baby tree.
去你的 Fuck you.
我之前从未告诉过别人 I never told anyone that before.
如果我告诉你 What if I told you...
我破处是卖身 而不是卖春呢 that I lost my virginity as a whore instead of with one?
那我会说我很遗憾 I would say I'm sorry.
我很遗憾 I'm sorry.
你是怎么找到这个地方的 How'd you find this fucking place? It's, uh...
我们这么做可能会被赶出去的 You know we could get thrown out for doing this?
片刻的自由值得被束缚一辈子 A second of freedom is worth more than a lifetime of bondage.
这是谁说的 Who said that?
我 I did.
我奶奶 My grandma.
你很爱她吧 You really love her, huh?
胜过一切 More than anything.
我们应该定个暗号 We should have a secret code.
-比如呢 什么样的 -不知道 比如... - Like... like what? Like how? - I don't know, like, uh...
你午餐时拿了几个盘子 the amount of plates on your tray at lunch
就代表我们之后几点见面 could mean the time that we meet up later.
好 这个可以 挺简单的 Yeah, I could do that. It's... it's pretty easy.
-五个盘子 -五点 - Five plates? - Five o'clock.
-五点 -是 我明白了 - Five o'clock. - Yeah, I get the concept.
-我一直在找你 -怎么了 - I've been looking for you. - Why?
拆开了 It's been opened.
不然呢 你在戒毒所里 What do you expect? You're in rehab.
失败是一次机会 Failure is an opportunity.
如果你怪罪别人 会没有止尽 If you blame others... there's no end to blame.
毫无所求 Demand nothing...
奉献所有 and give all.
怎么了 What's going on?
我 我害怕了 I'm just... I'm just scared.
为什么 Why's that?
我 我要走了 我... I'm... I'm... I'm leaving and... and I...
我知道我没有改过自新 I... I know that I'm not better.
在这里我感觉很安全 但我... I just... I just feel safe here, but, uh, I...
我知道我肯定会 And I know I'm gonna do
做蠢事 最后回到监狱里 something stupid and end up back in prison.
你为什么会这么想 Why do you think that?
你觉得我坚强吗 Do you think I'm strong?
这是 这是我女儿的号码 Here's my... here's my daughter's phone number.
-约翰 -不不不 - John. - No, no, no, no, no. No, no, no. No, no.
我只想让你 让你打给她 I... I just want you to... I want you to call her...
告诉她 她爸爸爱她 and tell her that her father loves her.
告诉她 我尽力了 And that... I tried.
我真的尽力了 好吗 I really tried, okay?
我会打的 I'll do that.
你真是个好哥们 You're such a fucking cowboy.
那是迈尔斯·戴维斯的新室友 Yeah... that's Miles Davis's new roommate.
靠 Shit.
十点 Ten?
这个瘾可真他妈可悲啊 That is one sad motherfucking addiction.
你根本想不到 伙计 You got no idea, buddy.
坐吧 孩子 给你介绍几个人 Have a seat, kid. I want you to meet somebody.
这位是马蒂 This is Matty.
等等 我认识你 你是那个羽量级拳击冠军 Wait, I know you. Yeah, you're the Featherweight Champ.
现在算是个胖墩级冠军吧 不过就是他 More like the chunky-weight champ now, but yeah, same guy.
滚吧 李 我这个胖墩级冠军 Fuck you, Lee. The chunky-weight champ
还是能把羽量级的打趴下 是吧 can still knock a featherweight the fuck out, you know that.
说不准 伙计 我看你已经不如当年了 I don't know, buddy. I think those days are over.
-才没有 -但让我赚了不少钱 - Nah. - Sure made me a lot of money, though.
-没错 -是啊 孩子们怎么样 - Damn right. - Yeah. How are the kids?
他们不和我说话了 Yeah, well, they don't talk to me no more.
现在你来这里了 这才是重要的 Well, you're here now. That's all that matters, y'know.
迈尔斯·戴维斯是美国著名爵士乐小号手
你真的叫迈尔斯·戴维斯吗 So is your name really Miles Davis?
是的 我出生证明上就是这个 Yes, it is. It's on my birth certificate.
还有我吹的不是小号 是单簧管 And I don't play the trumpet. I play the clarinet.
好吧 可惜你吹得不好 Yeah, shame you can't play as good, though, huh?
-所以我是法官不是音乐家 -你是法官 - Well, that's why I'm a judge, not a musician. - You're a judge?
他们居然让我和法官同住 They put me in here with a fucking judge?
你坐过牢吗 Been to prison, or something?
我面临几项指控 保释中逃了 I skipped bail on a bunch of charges,
但我不会坐牢 but I'm not going to prison.
那就是发了逮捕令抓你 Got warrants on you, then.
好吧 法官阁下 Okay, Your Honour.
我 I...
偷车 袭警 把一个小子揍得半死 flipped a car, hit a cop, kicked the shit outta some kid,
放火烧了我邻居的新车 set fire to my neighbour's new Jag, I...
贩毒 偷窃 各种蠢事 sold drugs, theft. You know, dumb shit.
我不会和你争论的 You won't get an argument from me.
抱歉 法官阁下 我能告退了吗 I'm sorry, Your Honour, can I be dismissed?
你要去哪 Where are you going?
我要援引第五条修正案拒绝回答 I think I might plead the fifth.
你会惹上麻烦的 You're gonna get in trouble.
♪ Candy says... ♪
Candy Says - The Velvet Underground
♪ I've come to hate my body ♪
♪ And all that it requires ♪
♪ In this world... ♪
♪ Candy says... ♪
♪ I'd like to know completely ♪
♪ What others so discretely ♪
♪ Talk about ♪
♪ I'm gonna watch the bluebirds fly... ♪
♪ Over my shoulder ♪
♪ I'm gonna watch them ♪
♪ Pass me by ♪
♪ If I could walk away from me... ♪
-怎么了 -我...不能 - What? - I... I can't.
你不必和我做 You don't need to do that with me.
可如果我想呢 But what if I want to?
我不能 我不能再继续了 I can't. I can't go any further.
你嫌我脏 You think I'm dirty.
不 不是 No. No, I don't.
我从没做过 I... I've never done this.
不嗑药时做 Sober, that is.
操 我也没有 Fuck. Neither have I.
信任是生活中最难做到的 Trust is the motherfucker of life.
信任我们自己 Trust... in ourselves,
信任我们的价值 家庭及爱人 in our... our worthiness, our family, our loved ones,
更别说...信任与脑子现有的 let alone some... foreign process and program
酒瘾是疾病 源头 症状 复发
模式完全不同的陌生治疗 that's insanely different from your current brain's paradigm,
对吧 right?
并非每个人都能第一次就明白 Not everybody gets it the first time.
我就不是 I know I didn't.
对 No.
但脱瘾治疗有效 But the steps work.
真的有效 They do.
恢复是个过程 Recovery is a process.
罗伊呢 他完成了脱瘾治疗吧 Well, what about Roy? He did the steps, right?
他就像年度模范学生 然后他... He's like a model student of the fucking year, and then he just--
罗伊被诊断患有躁郁症 Roy is diagnosed bipolar,
他被转移到别的病区了 and he's been moved to another unit.
-对 那不一样 -我过去就像你一样 - Yeah, that's different. - Look, I was like you.
我就是那种会觉得 I was one of those guys that was, like:
"瞧瞧这些戒酒会混蛋 "Look at these AA motherfuckers.
他们感恩一切 They're all grateful for everything.
我想掐死他们" I wanted to strangle 'em."
-没错 -我第一次也是那样 - Yeah! - I was like that the first time, too.
没错 大家都是 Yeah, it's mutual.
但我信任这个治疗 But I trusted in the process.
努力完成每一步 I worked the steps.
酗酒是种疾病 Alcoholism is a disease.
不 阿尔兹海默症是病 癌症是病 No. Alzheimer's is a disease. Cancer... is a disease.
那些你无法控制 对吧 And you can't control that, can you?
你不会说 You don't say,
"给我一堆帕金森 一剂癌症" "Hey, give me a shitload of Parkinson's and a shot of cancer,"
-对吧 -但你失去控制了 - do you? - But you lost control.
我说的正是这点 I'm talking about that. Exactly.
我选择喝酒 我选择吸毒 I choose to fucking drink. I chose to take crack.
患上不想要的可怕疾病 You can't help it if you got a god-awful fucking disease
这是你控制不了的 you don't want anymore.
你想摆脱疾病 Y'know, and you wanna get rid of it.
明白我的意思吗 You see what I'm saying?
-算你对 -这是决定 是选择 - I'll give you that, yeah. - It's a decision. It's a choice.
我要或不要 Do I or don't I, y'know?
我要做酒鬼继续荒废人生 Am I gonna be a dumb-shit addict and continue to waste my life,
还是要... or am I gonna, be...
-戒酒 -没错 戒酒 - Sober? - Right, sober, y'know?
我问你 詹姆斯 Well, let me ask you this, James.
你造成的破坏 All the damage you've done.
你造成的伤害 All the harm you've caused.
是你选择的吗 Did you choose that?
不是 No.
你小时候的雄心壮志就是...毁了家庭 So it wasn't your childhood ambition to... destroy your family?
-毁了事业 -当然不是 - Ruin your career? - Of course not.
变成这样都是因为你有瘾 对吗 It happened 'cause you're an addict, right?
对 Yeah.
你没有选择 You had no choice.
这是你没有选择患上的疾病 It is a disease you did not choose to have.
因为脑子正常的人怎么会 Because why would anybody in their right mind...
选择那些破坏 choose all that destruction?
老子 道德经
无欲则不惑 If we are free from desire, we can realize mystery.
黑暗中的黑暗 Darkness within darkness
是所有理解的关键 is the key to all understanding.
詹姆斯 James!
-詹姆斯 -怎么了 - James!! - What?
窗外有个姑娘 There's a young lady at the window.
老天 Jesus Christ.
你在做什么 What are you doing?
怎么回事 What's going on?
-搞什么 -你浑身湿透了 - What the fuck?! - You're soaking wet.
我当然浑身湿透了 Of course I'm soaking wet.
我在雨中站了几个小时 I was out in the rain for fucking hours.
你疯了吗 Are you fucking crazy?
我才没疯 I'm not fuckin' crazy!
我一直在雨中等你 I was the one waiting out in the fucking rain for you!
为什么 到底什么事 Why? What the fuck for?
因为你午餐时拿了五个盘子 混蛋 Because you had five plates on your tray at lunch, asshole.
五个盘子就是五点 记得吗 Five plates is five o'clock, remember?
我不知道我们在玩那个游戏 I didn't realize we were playing that game.
-胡说 -我为什么骗你 - Bullshit. - Why would I lie to you?
你为什么要拿五个盘子 Why have five plates on your tray?
因为我饿得要命 Because I was fucking hungry.
你明明可以坐在小屋里等 Why would you stand outside in the rain
为什么要站在雨中 when you can sit in the cabin?
所以你就是个贪婪的死胖子吗 So you're just a greedy, fat fucker, then?
我有点犹豫不决 今天有蛋糕 I'm a little indecisive, y'know? They got cake.
她最好快走 免得我们都惹上麻烦 She better get outta here before we all get in some shit.
他就是那个法官 He's the fucking judge.
-抱歉弄脏了桌子 -老天 - Sorry about your table. - Jesus Christ.
别管这个了 Don't fuckin' worry about it.
小心点 Alright, take it easy.
抱歉 晚点见 I'm sorry. I'll see you later.
当心 Watch yourself.
你在招惹更多麻烦 詹姆斯 You're bringing more trouble in here, James.
-林肯跟你说过这事 -别来法官那套 - Lincoln told you about that. - Stop judging.
给我吹首曲子 迈尔斯·戴维斯 Play me a tune, Miles Davis.
我告诉你 Let me tell you something.
这是我第二次来这里了 It's my second time in this place.
我毁了婚姻 差点葬送了事业 I fucked up my marriage, almost ruined my career,
所以我知道废物是什么样 so I know about fucking up.
好吧 Okay.
第一次就要做对 詹姆斯 Get it right the first time, James.
詹姆斯出生时我三岁半 James was born when I was three-and-a-half.
我记得你从医院回家那天 I remember the day you came home from the hospital.
他一直喊叫 一直喊 All he did was just scream and scream and scream--
等等 我们为什么和她说这个 Wait, I'm sorry. Why you telling her this shit?
因为她问了 我觉得会有帮助 Because she asked. 'Cause I thought it would help.
詹姆斯 头两年是儿童成长 James, the first two years are the most important
过程中最重要的阶段 in the development of a child.
-我不记得那时候 -我记得 - I have no memory of that. - Well, I do.
你心中一直有怒火 You had this rage in you forever.
不 我是耳朵感染 疼得要死 No, I had fucking ear infections and it was fucking painful.
他们显然没治好 And they clearly did fuck all about it.
-谁 爸妈吗 -没错 爸妈 - Who? Mom and Dad? - Yeah, Mom and Dad.
他们尽了全力 They did everything they could.
博比 我两只耳朵都聋了30% Bob, I'm 30% deaf in both my fucking ears, okay?
我想我知道 I think I know.
这没什么 I mean which is fine,
反正这些废话我有时也不想听 because sometimes I like to drown out this shit.
你听到自己说的话了吗 Do you hear what you're saying?
或许这就是你的怒火 Perhaps that's the core to this fury,
和你成瘾的源头 and to your addiction.
你在玩我吗 Are you shitting me?
我吸毒 偷车 乱砸东西 I snort coke and steal cars and smash up shit
都是因为我婴儿时期耳朵感染了 because I had issues with my ears as a baby?
-这... -詹姆斯 她是想帮你 - It's-- - James, she's trying to help you.
我知道她想做什么 Yeah, I know what she's trying to do.
你在这里干什么 What are you doing here,
那么多狗屁理论 with all your fucking theories and shit?
好像我这么废物一定是有原因的 Like there's gotta be a reason to why I'm such a fuck-up?
是吗 Is that it?
你怎么不回去找凯伦 Why don't you just go back to Karen
生几个孩子 and make babies or some shit?
随便你 I dunno.
凯伦和我离婚了 Karen and I are divorced.
两年多了 For over two years.
-什么 -我们离婚了 - What? - We're divorced!
我给你打了电话 一次又一次 I called you... and called you and called you,
因为我人生第一次需要个兄弟 because for once in my life, I needed a brother.
詹姆斯 你太他妈自私了 James, you're so fucking self-involved.
我爱你 博比 但这件事我必须自己完成 I say this with love, but I need to do this on my own, Bob.
詹姆斯 詹姆斯 James. James.
我知道你害怕 I know you're scared,
但你终究要面对的 but you gotta deal with this shit at some point.
我在努力 Well, I'm trying.
没有善恶 There is no good or evil.
没有罪人圣人 No sinner or saint.
只有简单的存在 本就那样 There simply is what is, and that is it.
顺其自然 Just let it be.
老子 道德经
自然 Just be.
这是什么 What... is that?
-没什么 -我不信 - Nothing. - I doubt that.
我见你去哪都带着它 I see you carrying it around with you everywhere.
你总是在看 You're reading it all the time.
就是许多胡言乱语 幸运饼干里的屁话 It's just a lot of nonsense. You know, fortune-cookie shit.
兄弟 在这里我们都一样 My man, we're all the same in here.
法官或罪犯 酗酒或吸毒 都不重要 Judge, criminal, bourbon-drinker, crackhead, doesn't matter.
我们只有自己 必须互相照应 We're all we've got and we've got to look out for one another.
我受了不少教训才明白 现在... I learned that the hard way and now...
我在苦苦挣扎 I'm struggling.
你想看可以看 Well, look... you can read it if you want.
别全信 Take it with a pinch of salt and...
不过我宁愿相信这个 也不信《匿名戒酒会》 I'd take that over the Big Book any fucking day of the week.
为什么 你都没看过《匿名戒酒会》 Why is that? You never even read the Big Book.
至少它没有几百斤重 That don't weigh 400 pounds
而且里面没有一章讲 and there's not a chapter that says
"印度医生 治愈自己"之类的屁话 "Indian physician, heal thyself," or some shit, so...
不过如果你想要真正的建议 But, like, if you want some real advice,
我建议你去跟莱纳德散步 I'd take a walk with Leonard.
我会去的 谢谢 I'll do that. Thanks.
干什么 你要付我钱吗 What, you gonna pay me?
不 给你的小纸条 No. A note for you, though.
大家今天怎么样 How are we today, huh?
你要去哪 Where you headed?
出去走走 Outside for a walk.
詹姆斯 这是小组活动 你不能翘 James, it's group. You can't just skip it--
是 我知道是小组活动 Yeah, I know it's group.
不过 我... But just you know, I...
我今天不是很想分享 I don't feel like sharing today.
为什么 Why is that?
为什么 关你屁事 哥们 Why? Why is it... your fucking business, man?
因为我是这个病区的主管 Because I'm the supervisor of this unit.
那你就好好管啊 老天 Then fucking supervise it! Jesus!
迈尔斯 你先来分享一下吧 Miles, would you start with a share, please?
莉莉 过来 Lilly? C'mere.
怎么了 发生什么了 What's wrong? What's happened?
-发生什么了 -我奶奶病了 - What's happened? - My grandma's sick.
莉莉 我很遗憾 Lilly, I'm so sorry.
我只剩下她了 詹姆斯 She's all I've got, James.
你想怎么办 What do you wanna do?
我想去找她 I wanna go to her.
我现在就想去找她 I wanna go to her right now,
但是我不能 因为我信不过自己 but I can't, because I don't trust myself.
我跟你去 走吧 I'll go with you. Let's go.
-你想去 我就去 -不行 不行 - You wanna go, I'll go. - We can't. We can't.
我不能去 我们...我得留在这里 I can't. We... I have to stay.
我得留下 她想让我待在这 I have to stay. She wants me to stay.
我要战胜它 詹姆斯 And I'm gonna beat it, James.
我要为了她战胜毒瘾 I'm gonna fucking beat it for her.
我知道 我知道 I know. I know.
我就在这 好吗 我陪着你 好吗 I'll stay here, okay? I wanna be here with you. Okay?
-好了 -妈的 操 -Okay. - Fuck. Fuck!
你们违反规定被逮个正着 You've officially been caught breaking the rules.
你们知道后果的 走吧 You know there's consequences. Let's go.
-去你的规定 -分开 跟我走 - Fuck your rules, man. - Separate and come with me.
别碰我 Don't fucking touch me!
别逼我来硬的 We can do this one of two ways.
詹姆斯 James?
请跟我走 Follow me, please.
走吧 Come on.
我是不会松手的 I'm not gonna fucking let go.
好吧 Fine.
请在里面等着 Please wait inside.
我给你们一点时间 I'll give you one moment.
坚持住 Hold on.
一定坚持住 Just hold on.
走吧 Let's go.
妈的 Fuck.
该死 Fuck!!!
你违反了规定 You violated the rules.
你牺牲了这里的完整性 You sacrificed the integrity of this facility,
而且这么做 and in doing so,
你还置病友的危险于不顾 you put your fellow patients at risk.
不过我们要再给你一次机会 And we're gonna give you one more chance.
但是听我说 But hear me.
再有什么过错 哪怕一点 One more misstep, any misstep,
你就得回家了 不能再回来 and you'll be sent home... permanently.
明白吗 Understand?
你决定的 You decided this?
谁决定的不重要 It doesn't matter who decided.
去休息吧 Go get some sleep.
那莉莉呢 她... What about Lilly? Is she...
她没事吧 Is she alright?
我们告诉莉莉 不许再和你见面 We told Lilly she wasn't... allowed to see you anymore.
所以她离开了 So she left.
她离开了 什么意思 她走了 She left? What do you mean, she left?
你们为什么没拦着她 Why didn't you stop her?
病人可以随时离开 你知道的 Patients are free to go when they want. You know that.
是 但...妈的 我知道她去哪了 Yeah, but... Fuck, I know where she is.
我知道她去哪了 你可以去接她 I know where she's going. You can go get her.
林肯 你可以现在就去找她 Lincoln, you can go get her right now.
詹姆斯 我们这里的体系是有存在理由的 James, we have the structure we have here for a reason.
试着不去理会这件事 Try to put it behind you and...
就当作是一个教训了 look at it as a lesson learned.
她是人 不是教训 你个混蛋 She's a person... not a lesson, you asshole.
如果这里就是这幅德行 And if that's how it is here,
我也不想待在这个操蛋的地方了 I don't even wanna be in this fucking place.
-你这是闹哪门子 -你忘穿外套了 - What the hell are you doing? - You forgot your jacket.
上车 詹姆斯 Get in the car, James.
不 我不回去 No. I'm not going back.
你到底想不想找她 Do you wanna find her or not?
赶紧上车啊 快点 Get in the goddamn van. Come on.
中央车站
我们带她回家 Let's bring her home, kid.
该死 Fuck.
去芝加哥的大巴几点发车 When's the bus leave for Chicago?
还要等两小时才发车 It doesn't leave for another two hours.
嘛呢 What's up?
我在找人 I'm looking for someone.
妈的 Fuck!
他这是要干什么 快开 快 快 What the hell is he doing? Go, go, go, go, go!
不要命了 Goddammit.
快点 你个小婊子 Hurry up, you little whore.
贱人 别磨蹭了 Just do it, bitch! Come on.
-莉莉 -搞什么 - Lilly? - What the fuck?
你个混蛋 You motherfucker!
你敢碰她 你个狗屎 混账东西 Don't you fucking touch her, you piece of shit! Fat fucker!
-不 不 -扔了那玩意 - No, no, no, no! - Drop that shit!
放开我 Let go of me!
放开我 Let... go of me!
放开我 离我远点 Get the fuck off me! Get the fuck away from me!
离我远点 Get the fuck away from me!
莉莉 别碰那东西 Lilly, leave that shit behind.
别他妈管我 Leave me the fuck alone.
我没打算注射 I wasn't gonna fucking do it.
-我们回家 莉莉 -别看我 - We're going home, Lilly. - Don't fucking look at me!
把那玩意扔了 我们走 Drop that fucking shit now and let's go!
-别碰我 -扔了它 - Leave me the fuck alone. - Leave that shit!
走吧 走吧 没事 我们要戒了那玩意 Come on. Come on. It's okay. We're gonna quit that shit.
我没打算注射 我没打算 I wasn't gonna do it. I wasn't gonna do it.
我没打算 I wasn't gonna do it.
别这样 别 Don't do this. No...
别逼我 Don't make me do this.
不 No.
来 Here.
你最好别跟来了 我带她 It's better you stay here. I'll take her.
-我要詹姆斯 -没关系的 - I want James. - It's okay.
没事 It's okay.
我醒着呢 I'm awake.
我就是想谢谢你 I just wanna say thank you.
是吗 Yeah?
谢什么 For what?
昨晚呗 你个傻蛋 你以为呢 For last night, you dumbass. What would you think?
这里许多人都说胡话 A lot of people talk shit in here.
我可不会做你干的事 你个死疯子 I wouldn't have done what you did, you fucking madman.
跟我说实话 Tell me the truth.
你被毒品诱惑了吗 Were you tempted by the dope?
是的 可是看到莉莉我就知道了 Yeah, but then I looked at Lilly and I knew.
我知道对我来说她比毒品更重要 I knew she meant more to me than crack.
你看 You see there?
但是如果她不在呢 But what about when she's not around?
因为她不会一直都在你身边 'Cause she's not always gonna be around, y'know.
嗯 我知道 Yeah, I know.
你找到了你的主要使命 Well... you worked your primary purpose.
是吗 什么使命 Oh, yeah? How's that?
不吸毒并帮助其他毒瘾者 To stay clean and help another addict.
你做到了 恭喜你 You did it. Congratulations.
这是第十二步 That's the twelfth step.
是吗 Yeah, well...
第十二步吃屎去吧 the twelfth step can... fuck its asshole.
反正你做到了 You did it anyway.
我读到 前进的路也是倒退的路 I read that the path forward is backwards.
阳光下的路是黑暗的 That the path in the light is dark.
确实 这里有时候会变黑暗 And, hell, does it get dark in here sometimes.
但是后来我只要看到莱纳德就行 But then I only gotta look at Leonard
不知怎么的 他让一切变得简单 and he makes it seem so simple somehow.
这个老头时不时的有点夸张 The old man can get a little theatrical now and again, but...
但是他的心在正道 he cares about the right stuff.
他让一切显得很容易 He makes it look easy.
我只是想让你们知道 I just want you to know that...
从这里毕业对我很重要 this graduation means something to me.
我知道 对你们也很重要 And I know it does to you guys too.
我疯狂的大家庭 My crazy fucking family.
他和我搞了个大派对 He and I threw this big party
大家一起看重量级拳击赛 where we snuck in the Heavyweight Title fight.
当然 弱者挨打 Of course the underdog gets his ass whipped,
但是有那么一瞬间 but... there was a moment where,
那么一秒 for a second, it was like...
我们忘了自己有多操蛋 we forgot how fucked up we all are.
大伙 开吃吧 Guys? Let's eat!
这让我开始思考 It made me think.
我不知道自己离开这里要做什么 但是 Heck, I don't know what I'm gonna do when I leave here, but...
也许还能有更多这样的日子 maybe there can be more days like that.
你觉得需要寻求帮助吗 Do you think you need help to do that?
那就写一张个人清单 詹姆斯 Then do your personal inventory, James.
这就是它的用处 That's... that's what it's there for.
你得探寻事实 你要承认它 You get to discover the truth. You get to own it.
你把它写下来 认可它 然后放下 You write it down, you acknowledge it, and then you let it go.
发现 探索 摒弃 Uncover, discover, discard..
-摒弃 -是的 - Discard. - Yes.
你可以摆脱它 You get to... get rid of it.
承认它 You know, you acknowledge it.
总是背负着这些耻辱你不难受吗 Aren't you sick of carrying all this shit around? The shame?
你不需要它 You don't need it.
对 我不需要 No, I don't.
这并不容易 It's not easy.
但是你做到了第四步 就进入了第五步 But you do your step four, you move into step five,
你跟大卫神父一起 然后 you work it with Father David, and then--
和大卫神父 With Father David?
为什么要跟神父 Why's it gotta be a fucking priest?
-这里是神父们建立起来的 -当然了 - Priests founded this facility. - Of course they did.
莉莉什么时候能从治疗区出来 When does Lilly get out of the medical unit?
-我不讨论病人 -乔安妮 - I'm not discussing patients. - Joanne.
拜托 Come on.
求你了 Please?
我能过去吗 Can I go?
就一小会儿 Just a minute?
我得从头来过 I gotta start again.
我知道 I know.
你是怎么做到的 你是怎么戒掉的 How do you do it? How do you kick this shit?
我不知道 可能就得努力 I dunno. You just do it, I guess.
一步一步来 One day at a time.
我喜欢这件外套 I like this jacket.
闻着... It smells...
-特别臭 -是的 - Pretty bad. - Yeah.
是 但我喜欢 Yeah, but I like it.
你当时为什么来找我 Why'd you come get me?
必须去 Had to.
不是的 No, you didn't.
就是 Yeah, I did.
-不 -我也不知道 - No. - I dunno, I guess, uh...
为什么 Why?
因为 Because...
这样吧 下次我们一起坐大巴走 You know what? Let's get the bus together next time.
你想去芝加哥 You wanna go to Chicago?
行啊 为什么不想 Yeah. Sure. Why not?
如果你去的话 I mean, if you're going.
好的 Okay.
我们什么时候走 When do we go?
很快 Soon.
好的 Okay.
我爱你 I love you.
那就坚持下去 Then hold on.
好的 Okay.
清单
用玩具车碾过一个幼儿园老师 Ran over a nursery-school teacher with a Big Wheel.
我故意的 I did it on purpose.
那时我四岁 I was four.
用满满一袋书砸一个男孩 砸断了他的鼻子 Hit a boy with a bag full of books, broke his nose.
他叫弗莱德 那时我六岁 His name was Fred. I was six.
从我朋友克雷的妈妈那里偷了一包薄荷香烟 Stole a pack of menthol cigarettes from my friend Clay's mother.
抽完吐了 又偷了一包 又吐了 Smoked them and threw up. Stole another pack, threw up.
又偷了一包 那时我八岁 Stole another pack. I was eight.
十岁时开始失控 Started to lose control at 10.
从我爸妈那里偷酒的次数多到我记不清 Stole liquor from my parents more times than I can remember.
我经常在橄榄球赛时偷喝几口啤酒 I used to steal sips of beer at football games,
在派对上喝别人剩下的红酒之类的 drank leftover wine at dinner parties, that kind of thing.
我不知道为什么要这样 就是会去做 I don't know why I did it, I just did.
十二岁时 我的生活很模糊 At 12... my life was blurred.
从我朋友埃文的爸爸那里偷了一包大麻 I stole a bag of pot from my friend Evan's dad.
从埃文的爸爸那里偷了一个烟斗 Stole a pipe from Evan's dad.
从埃文的爸爸那里偷了一瓶药 Stole a bottle of pills from Evan's dad.
我用烟斗抽了大麻 吞了所有的药 I smoked the pot in the pipe and took all the pills.
最后我吐了 It made me vomit.
然后再去埃文家的时候我又下手了 And I did it again the next time I was at Evan's house.
十四岁时 我卖毒品给小孩 At 14, I sold drugs to kids.
大多数时候都是坑他们的钱 Most of the time, I ripped 'em off.
卖高价 或者用牛至叶滥竽充数 Took too much of their money, or sold them oregano.
他们跟我同龄 却还是小孩 They were my age, but they were still kids.
十五岁时 我开始吸硬毒品 At 15, I started using harder stuff:
可卡因 迷幻药 冰毒 coke, acid, crystal meth.
我全都喜欢 I liked all of them.
十六七岁时也差不多 Sixteen, 17 were more of the same.
十八岁时还是一样 但吸得更多 Eighteen, same thing, but more.
十九岁时也一样 但情况更糟糕 Nineteen, same thing, but probably worse.
二十岁时 我开始吸可卡因 At 20, I started to smoke coke.
二十一岁 那一年很糟 Twenty-one, bad year.
我开始吸强效可卡因 我特别喜欢 I started to smoke crack, which I loved.
有多少我就吸多少 基本上每天都在吸 I smoked it as much as I could, which was basically every day.
我吐血 尿血 便血 I was throwing up blood, pissing blood, shitting blood.
每时每刻都很难受 I was sick all the time.
我都不知道我是怎么撑下来的 I don't really know how I managed it.
二十二岁时我一塌糊涂 基本什么都不记得 Twenty-two, I was so fucked up, I barely remember anything.
但有一件事我希望自己可以忘掉 But there's still one thing I wish I could forget.
进来 Come.
你好 孩子 我是大卫神父 Hello, my son. My name's Father David.
无意冒犯 先生 但我不是你的孩子 All due respect, sir, but I'm not your son.
好吧 没关系 Okay. Fair enough.
坐吧 詹姆斯 Have a seat... James.
那么 So...
你来进行第五步 You're here for your fifth step.
我不相信十二步那一套 I don't believe in the steps,
但我是来忏悔的 but I'm here to make a confession, so...
你是天主教徒吗 Are you Catholic?
不 不是 No. No.
那把这个称之为谈话可以吗 Then would you be comfortable calling this a conversation?
抱歉 这是 这是浪费时间 I'm sorry, this is... this is a waste of time.
我不知道我为什么要这么做 I don't know why I'm doing this.
你去他那儿找罪受是图什么 So why are you choking to death there?
去谈那个清单吗 That little inventory?
显然 只是一场普通的谈话 It's a conversation... apparently.
谈谈黑料清单上的所有事 Everything on my shit list.
好吧 Well, it's...
也不是所有事 但... It's not everything, but...
告诉我 Give it to me.
只是 There's just...
我有过一个女友 I had this girl.
然后 我搞砸了 And, uh... I screwed up.
一塌糊涂 我简直一团糟 Fucked it all up. I was a fucking mess.
所以我 So I, uh...
我去了一个教堂 So I went to a fucking church.
是吧 Right?
我坐在那里 双手交叠 And I sat there and I put my hands together,
我祈求宽恕 我... and I fucking prayed for forgiveness and I...
祈求恢复正常 prayed to just be normal.
有个人过来坐在我旁边 And, uh... this guy comes and sits next to me.
他是个神父 我就想 就是这样 He's a priest. And I think: This is it,
我能找到某种救赎 I'm gonna find some kind of salvation.
而且 而且我准备好说出来了 And... and I'm ready to talk.
我准备好告诉他所有的事 I'm ready to just tell him everything.
他把手放到我的膝盖上 我... And he puts his hand on my knee and I'm...
他的手... And his hand...
我脑袋里的弦突然断了 And I fucking switch, y'know?
我揍了他 And I fucking hit him...
然后他 他倒在地上 And he... he falls to the ground
我发了疯似地踢他 and I just kick the fucking shit out of him, y'know?
一直踢 一直踢 Just kicking him and then kicking him and...
我停不下来 I can't stop.
然后我把他丢在那里 And I just leave him there--
你得放下 Gotta let it go.
你现在已经不是当时那个人了 The person you were then is not the person you are now.
我一直在看着你 I've watched you.
但你不能被它吞噬 But you can't let it eat you up.
这事让我感觉糟透了 It just makes me feel so shit.
让我觉得很羞 羞耻 It makes me so ash... so ashamed.
你是个有价值的人 詹姆斯 You're a worthwhile human being, James.
你有很多可以贡献的 You got a lot to give people.
而且你不觉得是时候开始正常的人生了吗 And don't you think it's about time you had a fucking life?
除了你自己 没有人会批判你 Nobody's gonna judge you but yourself.
如果我是你 我就烧掉这摞纸 If I were you, I'd burn that fucking bunch of papers, you know,
把灰烬都撒到海里 and scatter the fucking ashes over the ocean.
你明白我的意思吗 与自己和解 You know what I mean? Make peace with yourself.
放下 Let it go.
你在往前走 You're on the way up.
别让过去拖累你 Don't let it drag you back.
你为什么要在乎我 Now why'd you give a shit?
你之于我 就像我之于迈克 You came into my life the same way I came into Mike's.
我知道这种关系能带来的帮助 And I know what it can do for somebody.
如果你不介意 And, uh... if you don't mind...
我想要认你做我儿子 I've decided that I want you to be my son.
我没开玩笑 I'm not shittin' ya.
你想 你想让我做你儿子 You want... you want me to be your son?
是的 我想让你做我儿子 Yes, I want you to be my son.
不 你不想 No, you don't.
我想 Yes, I do.
你的毛病我都知道 I know all your fucking problems,
而且我愿意与它们共处 and I'm willing to deal with 'em.
好吗 你愿意吗 Okay? You willing to do that?
你愿意让我叫你儿子吗 You willing to let me call you my son?
没有不尊重你家人的意思 No disrespect to your family.
这对我来说意味着一切 It'd mean the world to me.
你一出来 就给我打电话 好吗 The second you get outta here, give me a call, will you?
好的 Sure.
詹姆斯 James!
詹姆斯 James!!
你好吗 兄弟 What's up, buddy?
你做到了 You made it.
感觉如何 How do you feel?
这一路过来不简单 You've come a long way, man.
想吃点什么吗 You wanna grab a bite to eat?
好 Yeah.
我知道一个地方 I know a place we can go.
詹姆斯 这是个酒吧 James, this is a fucking bar.
是的 Yeah.
没事 我知道 No, I know.
我们不能进去 We're not going in there.
要进去 Yes, we are.
去摆球 Go rack up.
给我一点时间 好吗 Just give me a minute, okay?
你好吗 How you doin'?
这个月太艰难了 我需要喝一杯 I've had quite a month... and I need a drink.
好的 你要喝什么 Sure. What can I get ya?
能给我来一杯那个吗 Can I take a glass of that?
当然 Sure thing.
但别用鸡尾酒杯 But not one of those cocktail glasses.
给我个一品脱的杯子 倒满 Give me a big fucking pint glass and fill it to the top.
抱歉 不行 Sorry, man. I can't do that.
为什么 Why?
因为喝下一品脱的威士忌绝对没好处 'Cause there's no good in what comes in a pint of whiskey.
我就想喝那个 给我吧 That's what I want. Bring it.
这里我说了算 好吗 这是我的酒吧 Look, man, it's my discretion, okay? It's my bar.
卖多少酒 卖给谁都随我 I can serve who I like and what I like.
倒满 Fill it to the brim.
你自己找死 Your funeral.
你个骗子 You lying motherfucker.
去你的 Fuck you.
Lucky Day - Tom Waits
♪ And old Johnny O'Toole ♪
♪ I'll still beat you at pool ♪
♪ So don't cry for me ♪
♪ For I'm going away ♪
♪ And I'll be back ♪
♪ Some lucky day ♪
♪ So don't cry for me ♪
♪ For I'm going away ♪
♪ And I'll be back ♪
♪ Some lucky day ♪
Always There - Greta Van Fleet
♪ You've been waiting for your lover ♪
♪ When you'll discover ♪
♪ She's always there ♪
♪ Walk wild in her summer ♪
♪ She is the drummer ♪
♪ Of your beating heart ♪
♪ Won't you tell her that you love her ♪
♪ And you'll hug her most every day ♪
♪ You won't ever push or shove her ♪
♪ Find another ♪
♪ She has to stay ♪
♪ She's a woman in a dream ♪
♪ One that makes you fall in love ♪
♪ Though her face is never seen ♪
♪ She is what this love is of ♪
♪ Wake you from your state of slumber ♪
♪ You tumble under ♪
♪ But now awake ♪
♪ Dream forever in your wonder ♪
♪ And never sunder ♪
♪ This is the day ♪
♪ This is the day... ♪
♪ She's a woman in a dream ♪
♪ One that makes you fall in love ♪
♪ Though her face is never seen ♪
♪ She is what this love is of ♪
♪ Oh... ♪
♪ She's a woman in a dream ♪
♪ One that makes you feel in love ♪
♪ Though her face is never seen ♪
♪ She is what this love is of ♪
♪ Like a woman in a dream ♪
♪ One that makes you fall in love ♪
♪ Though her face is never seen ♪
♪ She is what this love is made of ♪