--==本影片由 CMCT 团队 荣誉出品==-- 更多精彩影视 请访问 http://cmct.tv
压制: 犇犇 翻译: Emtee 校调: 犇犇 招募Q群: 324446465
介意我快速打扫下吗 Mind if i do a quick mop?
你好大声 You're shouting.
什么 What?
- 我能稍后再来 - 不用 没事 - I can come back later. - No, it's fine.
什么都别碰就行 Just don't touch anything.
什么都别碰就行 "Just don't touch anything."
贱人 Dickbreath.
你想要一粒嘀嗒糖？ You want a tic tac?
好吧 我就当是不要 All right. I'll take that as a no.
拜托 Oh. Come on.
你到底怎么了 老兄 What the hell happened to you, dude?
"死亡日期 2014年2月27日"
多德？多德是什么鸟名字 Dod? What the fuck kind of name is dod?
进去 进去 Go, go, go, go, go.
拜托 Come on!
别 别 别 重置 重置 No! Oh, no, no, no. Reset, reset.
见鬼 见鬼 Oh, shit. Oh, shit.
多德 拜托 Dod! Come on!
清除 接受 接受你妈啊 Clear! Accept! Accept the motherfucker!
见鬼 好吧 Shit. Okay. All right.
做心肺复苏吧 对 I'll do cpr. Yeah.
好了 塔基斯辣薯卷 All right! Some takis fuego.
拜托 Come on!
拜托 呼吸 老兄 Come on, breathe, dude!
见鬼 真臭 Oh, shit! Oh, hell, no.
好吧 来 多德 Okay. All right. All right. Come on, dod.
来 我们有这个呢 Come on. We got this.
拜托 多德 Please, come on, dod!
一千零一 One, one thousand!
一千零二 Two, one thousand!
不要 不要 No, no, no!
拜托 Come on.
你在逗我啊 You are kidding me.
糟糕 Oh, crap.
片名：童子军手册之僵尸启示录
知道什么比酷更酷吗 You know what's cooler than cool?
童子军活动 Scouting!
开拍 Action!
你们好 伙计们 我是童子军队长罗杰斯 Hi, there, guys. My name is scout leader Rogers.
我在此向你们展示何谓童子军 来… And I'm here to show you what scouting is all about. Come...
童子军是友谊的纽带 Being a scout is about the bonds of friendship.
看看吧 Check it out!
这些童子军在争取弓与箭奖章 These scouts are on their way to earning a bow and arrow badge!
奖章是童子军最高成就的象征 Badges are the scouts' highest symbol of achievement.
童子军可以获取各类奖章 Scouts can earn all sorts of badges.
什么比酷更酷 What's cooler than cool?
童子军活动 Scouting!
好了 你要不要参加？ All right, are you in or are you in?
嘿 听着 每周五有免费饼干 Hey, listen, there's free cookies every Friday.
我们在周六有团体歌颂 We do sing-alongs on Saturdays.
在大学申请上很亮眼的 It looks great on a college application!
我喜欢这例行悲剧 I love this tragic ritual.
总有人会报名的 伙计们 Someone's gonna sign up, guys!
我们得不断尝试 We have to keep trying!
奥基 在有人加入前 一头独角兽 Augie, a unicorn's gonna fly out of your ass
会从你屁股里飞出来 before somebody joins.
卡特 注意言辞 Carter! Language.
他说的没错 没人会报名 Yeah, he's right. Nobody's ever gonna sign up.
只是在浪费时间 It's just a waste of time.
你们缺乏信念 童子军精神哪去了 Ye of little faith. Where's that scout spirit?
听着 伙计们 我们不会就因为坐在这 Look, guys, we're not gonna quit trying just because
毫无进展地失去了几小时 we lost a couple hours sitting around on our butts
而放弃尝试 with nothing to show for it.
我意思是 有些人用了一生的时间 I mean, some people spend their entire lives
都毫无进展 and have nothing to show for it.
好了 Well...
我想我们都知道今晚是奥基的特别之夜 I think we all know it's augie's special night.
经过多年的努力和奉献 After years of hard work and dedication,
他将得到童子军的最高荣誉 he will receive the highest honor of a scout,
秃鹰奖章 the condor badge,
就在今晚的露营活动中 in a ceremony at tonight's campout.
好了 我们来看下 Okay. Let's see.
负责公厕的是卡特 Latrine duty: Carter.
不行 总是我挖便坑 No! No, no, no, no. I always dig the shitter.
那叫公厕 不叫便坑 It's called a latrine, not a shitter.
好了 本 你负责香肠 All right, Ben, you're on wiener duty.
够了 That's enough.
卡特 没人这样吃热狗 Carter, nobody eats a hot dog like this.
好了 本 不如你带我们说童子军誓词吧 All right. Ben, why don't you lead us in the scout oath?
- 来啊 - 好吧 - Come on. - All right.
我宣誓 This do I swear:
勇敢地活着 To live courageously,
力所能及地帮助他人 to help others when I can,
保卫我必须保卫的一切 愿上帝助我 defend what I must, so help me god.
童子军万岁 Scouts forever!
童子军万岁 Scouts forever.
万岁 Forever!
本 我们得告诉奥基 Ben, we have to tell augie.
- 我知道 我知道 - 我们要退出童子军 - I know. I know. - We're ditching scouts.
我们会告诉他的 Yeah, we'll tell him.
我们说这事有一年多了 We've been talking about it for over a year.
我知道 我们得找一个正确的时机 I know. We just have to find the right time.
好吧 那就今晚 Okay, we'll do it tonight, then.
不行 今晚不能告诉他 他要领取他的秃鹰奖章啊 No, we can't tell him tonight. He's getting his condor badge.
他加入童子军以来就一直在为此努力 He's been working toward this ever since he joined scouts.
你知道这对他意义重大 You know how much it means to him.
尤其是在他爸没法到场的情况下 Especially since his dad can't be there.
两年了 本 It's been two years, Ben.
我们不能只是因为觉得对不起他而留在童子军 We can't just stay in scouts because we feel sorry for him.
拜托 我们留在童子军不只是因为这个原因 Come on, that's not the only reason we're staying in scouts.
拜托 你也得到了乐趣 Come on, you've had fun.
得到了乐趣 好吗 表示已经过去了 Had fun, okay? Past tense. Had.
而我现在准备向前看 我意思是 你知道 And now I am ready to move on. I mean, you realize
明年是高三了 it's gonna be junior year next year.
你懂我意思 对吗 I mean, you know what that means, right?
我们要开始考虑大学了 We start thinking about college.
我们要开始考虑女人 本 We start thinking about pussy, Ben!
拜托 高三是所有姑娘变浪女的时候 Come on. Junior year is when all the girls become sluts.
- 真的？- 没错 - Oh, really? - Yes.
童子军制服要是还被我们穿着 And if we're sitting here in these scout uniforms,
就会变成男版贞操带 本 it's gonna be the male version of a chastity belt, Ben.
见鬼 Oh, shit. Shit.
那他妈是什么 What the fuck was that?
真见鬼 天呐 Holy shit. Oh, my god.
见鬼 Oh, shit.
老兄 我被吓出屎了 Dude, that scared the shit out of me.
我也是 Yeah, me, too.
不是 是真的有点屎出来了 No, like, literally, a little shit came out.
老兄 停下 Dude, stop.
天呐 你撞死了斑比 Jesus Christ. You hood-fucked Bambi.
我不是故意的 这不是我的错 卡特 I didn't mean to! It wasn't my fault, Carter!
它就站在那儿 It was just standing there!
见鬼 Oh, shit.
该死的 Oh. Damn it.
好极了 太好了 Great. Just awesome.
那备胎给你单车用还汽车用的？ Is that a spare for your bike or the car?
见鬼 我爸一定会很生气 Shit. My dad's gonna be so pissed.
卡特 其他车轮螺母呢 Carter, where are the other lug nuts?
我怎么知道 我一直坐在这 什么都没干 How should I know? I've been sitting here doing nothing.
是啊 我注意到了 Yeah. I noticed.
老兄 那是我姐 Oh. Dude, that's my sister.
肯达尔 肯达尔 Kendall! Kendall!
嘿 Hey!
嘿 Hey.
你能帮帮我们吗 Can you help us?
接球 Catch!
- 杰夫 - 怎么了 我说了 接球 - Jeff! - What? I said, "catch."
我以为他听见了 I thought he had it.
- 抱歉 兄弟 我的错 - 是的 - Sorry, bro. It's my bad. - Yeah.
你们没事吧 我是说 出什么事了 Are you guys okay? I mean, what happened?
我们撞了一头白尾鹿 它很大 We hit a white-tailed deer. It was huge.
是啊 我们刚开着车 然后就嘣的一声 Yeah. We were just driving, and then it was like, boom!
你们撞了头鹿？很棒啊 You guys hit a deer? That's awesome.
没有 并不棒 你在开玩笑吗 Nope, not awesome. Are you kidding?
没什么棒的 看看我的车 Nothing awesome about it. Look at my car.
还好吗 克洛伊 What's up, Chloe?
- 嘿 - 嘿 - Hey... - Hey.
- 卡特 - 卡特 - Carter. - Carter!
没错 西班牙语课我坐在你后面 Yeah. I sit behind you in Spanish class.
你让我都硬起来了（西语）
谢谢 Oh, gracias.
我觉得你们穿的 So, I'm really down with this
这身小童子军制服 whole little scout uniform you guys got going.
还有这些小补丁都很不错 All these little patches and stuff.
实际上 本和卡特好像 Actually, Ben and Carter have been
从六岁起就是童子军了 对吗 scouts together since, what, you were like six, right?
- 是啊 很久了 - 很棒 兄弟 - Yeah, yeah. A long time. - That's awesome, man.
本就像我弟弟 Ben's like my little brother.
是啊 那就是我 本弟弟 Yep. That's me. Little brother Ben.
嘿 杰夫 Hey, Jeff!
好了 你的脸蛋我再次抱歉 All right, well. Sorry about that face again.
嘿 今晚你去派对吗 Hey, are you going to the party tonight?
怎么了 What's up?
大型男 你好吗 Aber-blow-me and bitch, man. What's up?
真会造词 Always coming up with good ones.
听着 我刚在这和卡福聊天 Listen, I was just talking to carver here, and...
是卡特 Carter.
- 我想到了一个很棒的主意 - 真的？ - I came up with a great idea. - Really?
说说 什么主意 Hit me. What do we have?
招募怎么样了 How'd recruiting go?
老样子 没人参加 Oh, the usual. Yeah, no one joined.
我想当下只是个大笑话而已 I think it's just a big joke at this point.
并不是笑话 It's not a joke.
我觉得你们坚持做童子军很酷 I think it's really cool you guys have stuck with scouts.
有一天你们会回顾这事 One day you're gonna look back on this
你们会很高兴自己这么做了 and you're gonna be really happy you did it.
好吧 谢谢 Okay. Thanks.
看样子那头鹿比你的车厉害 Looks like the deer made out better than your car.
是啊 等等 什么 什么意思 Yeah. Wait, what? What do you mean?
它哪去了 Well, where is it?
就在那边 It's right over there.
天呐 天呐 老兄 Holy shit! Holy shit, man!
混蛋 你有病啊 You dick. What's wrong with you?
老兄 你绝不会信这事 Dude. Dude, okay. You're never gonna believe what happened.
嘿 你们确定不用搭车？ Hey, you sure you guys don't need a ride?
不用 我们没事 No, we're good.
- 今晚见 小伙子们 - 嘿 今晚见 老兄 - See you boys tonight. - Hey! See you tonight, man!
好吗 好吗 All right? All right?
再见 克洛伊 再见 Bye, Chloe! Bye!
你在说什么今晚 What are you talking about, tonight?
老兄 你永远猜不到是什么事 Dude, you are never going to guess what happened.
我们被邀去秘密高四派对 老兄 看 We got invited to the secret senior party, man. Look.
谁在乎啊 看啊 鹿不见了 鹿呢 Who cares? Look, the deer is gone. What about the deer?
老兄 去他妈的鹿 Dude, fuck deers, man!
我们要去神秘派对 老兄 快来 We are going to the secret party, man! Come on!
我要上克洛伊 I'm gonna fuck Chloe.
本 快来 这事千载难逢的机会 Ben, come on. This is the chance of a lifetime.
好吧 我是说别假装你不想去 Okay. I mean, quit acting like you don't want to go.
我当然想去 我想去 Of course i want to go. I do.
但晚上是奥基的重要之夜 他要领取他的秃鹰奖章 But it's augie's big night. He's getting his condor badge.
我们不能错过他的典礼 不然他永远不会原谅我们 We can't miss the ceremony or he'd never forgive us.
好吧 听我说 Okay, look, hear me out.
我们去露营 We go to the campout,
等奥基和罗杰斯睡着了 and when augie and Rogers fall asleep,
我们溜出去 然后去派对 we will sneak out and go to the party.
卡特 Carter...
我们黎明前回来 We'll be back before dawn,
就像从没离开过一样 it'll be like we never even left.
怎么说呢 只是听上去… I don't know. It just sounds...
本 Ben.
这会是我们一生中最棒的一晚 This could be the night of our lives.
求你了 Please.
好吧 我想我们能试试 All right. I mean, i guess we could try.
- 我爱你 - 好吧 - I love you. - Okay.
你太好了 谢谢 You're amazing. Thank you!
哇哦 干嘛呢 Whoa! What the hell?
嗨 菲尔德夫人 嗨 Hi, Mrs. fielder. Hi.
你的垃圾桶又档了我的车道 Your garbage cans were blocking my driveway again.
我不得不亲自搬开它们 Had to move them myself,
这对腰间盘突出的人来说并不容易 which is no easy task with a herniated disk.
好吧 太好了 Okay, great.
叫你爸把他的垃圾管管好 You tell your father to keep his trash on his side of the property.
好的 我们会管好的 菲尔德夫人 谢谢了 Okay, we'll do that, Mrs. fielder. Thank you.
好了 谢谢 你能挪一下吗 All right, thanks. Yep. Can you just move right there?
谢谢 再见 Thank you. Bye!
天啊 Jesus Christ.
老巫婆 好了 谢谢了 You old hag! Okay. Thank you.
她好烦人 She is so annoying.
天呐 你能想象住她隔壁是什么感觉吗 Oh, my god. Can you imagine living next to that?
天啊 老兄 她有多少只猫啊 Oh, my god. Dude, how many cats does she have?
老兄 谁知道啊 她大概在阴部抹了猫粮 Dude, who knows. She probably rubs fancy feast on her cooch
- 再让它们舔 - 什么 - and lets them all go to town. - What?
五点半在这碰头 接着我们去露营 Meet me here at 5:30 and then we'll go to camp womp womp.
然后我们去派对 好吗 Then we'll go to the party. All right?
- 好吗？好 - 好 - All right? All right. - All right.
- 回见 老兄 - 好的 再见 - See you soon, man. - All right. See ya.
啊 有人乱扔垃圾 Oh, litterbugs.
拜托 Come on.
"生化工程公司 - 皮特·莫瑞斯"
生物素？ Biotine?
你怎么来这的 How'd you get way out here?
皮特·莫瑞斯 谁捡到归谁 Well, Peter Morris, finders keepers.
有人吗 Hello?
你有病啊 What's wrong with you?
混蛋 You a-wipe!
贱货 所有脏话都给你 C-word! All the other words!
王八蛋 Oh, doodle!
那可是我的幸运刀 That's my lucky knife!
童子军队长罗杰斯教你做鹿 Teach you to mess with scout leader Rogers!
所以我们这样走进去就行？ So we're just gonna walk in there like this?
不用身份证 只要买些啤酒？ No I.D.'S, just buy some beer?
给我张20美元 白痴 快 Just give me the $20, fool. Come on.
掏钱 Cough it up.
快点 快 Any day now. Come on.
别急 这是尼龙搭扣 一秒就好 Hang on. It's velcro. It takes a second.
看我的 Watch a pro.
- 嗨 先生 今天过得如何 - 嘿 宝贝 - Hi, sir. How are you today? - Hey, baby.
太好了 好棒的计划 卡特 Oh, nice. Great plan, Carter.
把钱给醉酒流浪汉 真行得通 Just give the money to a drunk bum. That'll work.
就买便宜的 Just the cheap stuff.
你看见性感警官了吗 Did you see officer hottie?
没 我就顾着看你怎么丢掉20美元 No. I was too busy watching you lose 20 bucks.
好吧 我给了他具体说明 Okay, I gave him very specific instructions.
他会给我们买两箱六瓶装 He's gonna buy us a couple of six packs,
找零归他 and he can keep the change.
天啊 Jesus.
哇哦 Whoa.
天啊 老兄 是她 Holy shit, dude. That's her.
什么 谁 What? Who?
蒂尼丝什么的 It's Denise what's-her-face.
她在我们高中读过 She went to our high school.
几年前辍学了 She dropped out a couple years ago.
"美丽佳人"
现在她是个脱衣舞女 Now she's a stripper.
你怎么知道 How do you even know that?
她是一个传奇 She's a legend.
他妈的他在搞什么 天呐 What the fuck is he... Jesus Christ.
先生 Sir!
我不会给这些东西付钱 I'm not paying for these items.
先生 Sir?
见鬼 Shit!
没事 我自己来 说真的 我自己来 It's okay. I got it. Seriously, I got it.
该死的破包 Fucking ghetto-ass bag.
这样 Here.
你在干嘛 What are you doing?
打了个单编结 It's a sheet bend knot.
- 不可能会脱结 - 真心灵手巧 - It's impossible to break. - You're pretty handy.
谢谢 Thanks.
出去 Get out.
- 腿不错 - 啊？ - Nice legs. - Huh?
变装派对？ Costume party?
不是 我… Oh, no, I'm...
我是名童子军 I'm a scout.
真童子军？ Like an actual scout?
是啊 今晚我们有一次露营 Yeah, well. We got a campout tonight.
你在街对面工作？ So you work across the street?
对 炫吧？ Yep. Glamorous, huh?
是啊 我意思是我从没进去过 Yeah. I mean, I've never been in,
但听说不错 but I hear it's nice.
在尖叫点评上大受好评 It's got a good yelp review.
- 怎么了 - 没什么 - What? - Nothing.
你只是… 你很可爱 You're just... You're really cute.
谢谢 Thanks.
快点 卡特 Come on, Carter.
你没叫那人买啤酒吧 Please tell me you did not ask that guy to buy you beer.
- 没 是他的主意 - 菜鸡 - No, it was his idea. - Rookies.
你去哪… Where are you...
20美元还我 I need my $20 back.
- 我要怎么对付那个坏人 - 这不全是你的 - How am I gonna fight the bad guy? - It's not all yours.
你好脏 看看多脏啊… You're dirty. Look how dirty...
给 Here.
谢谢 Thank you.
谢谢 请 Thank you. Here.
天啊 谢谢了 Oh, my god. Thank you.
你是世界上最好的人 谢谢 You're the most amazing person ever. Thank you.
没错 谢谢 Yeah. Thanks.
没事 谢谢帮忙 腿弟 It's cool. And thanks for the help, legs.
应该的 Yeah.
老兄 刚才什么情况 Dude, what the fuck was that?
天呐 Oh, my god.
我要天天舔她的咸湿部位 I would tongue-pound her salty walrus any day of the week.
见鬼 Oh, shit.
- 他在盯着我们 - 走吧 - He's staring at us. - Go.
老兄 我想你跟我说过肯达尔和那个杰夫分了 Dude, I thought you said that Kendall broke up with that Jeff guy.
老兄 我是以为分了 Dude, i thought so too.
他们一会儿在一起 It's like, one moment, they're together
一会儿又像是分手了 and the next moment, they're broken up.
所以他是个混蛋 So he's a dick.
毫无疑问… It's like no doubt...
- 嘿 伙计们 - 嘿 你好吗 - Hey, guys! - Hey, what's up?
对了 营地搭建了一半了 All right. Campsite is halfway set up.
- 不错 - 很棒 - Nice. - Great.
- 好啊 - 好 - What's up? - What's up?
好 What's up?
太慢了 太慢了 老兄 Oh! Too slow. Too slow, buddy.
童子军队长罗杰斯呢 Where's scout leader Rogers?
他本该在这帮我搭建的 He was supposed to be here to help me set up,
但到现在他还没出现 but so far he's a no-show.
奇怪 他从不迟到 That's weird. He's never late.
没错 或许他退出童子军了 Yeah. Maybe he quit scouts.
退出童子军？是啊 没错 Quit scouts? Yeah, right.
真是可笑至极 That's hysterical!
想知道我怎么想的吗 我觉得这是一次考验 Want to know what I think it is? I think it's a test.
一次考验？ A test?
是啊 今天我要领取我的秃鹰奖章 Well, yeah. I'm getting my condor badge today.
我得证明我做好了准备 I have to prove that I'm ready.
对了 看下这个 Yeah, and check this out.
我在为动物研究奖章做饮食记录 I'm charting diets for the animal study badge
然后正好走进了这东西里 and I walked right into that.
- 这是什么 - 鹿屎 - What is this? - It's deer scat.
老兄 搞什么啊 Oh, dude! What the fuck, man?
卡特 我需要那东西啊 Carter! I needed that!
你需要那东西？那是屎啊 奥基 You needed that? It's shit, augie!
没人需要屎 No one needs shit!
我需要 我找了一整周 I need it! I've been looking all week for it.
天呐 这将是漫长的一夜 Oh, god. It's gonna be a long night.
穿过去 一进一出 Just feeding it through, in and out.
好爽 Oh, yeah.
搞定 There you go.
- 干得好 伙计 - 我搞定了 - Good job, bud. - I did it!
搞什么啊 兄弟 是你的屁股吗 What the fuck, man? Was that your ass?
豆子？香肠？ Beans? Weenies?
为什么我们总得吃福利食品 Why do we always have to eat welfare food?
因为我们在露营 卡特 你想吃什么 Because we're camping, Carter. What do you want?
厨艺满满的 不会让我每五秒 Something artisan. Something that doesn't make me
就放屁的 fart every five seconds.
闭嘴 别那么贱 Shut up. Quit being such a bitch.
奥基 奥基 Augie? Augie?
嘿 奥基 Hey, augie!
用我打火机 Use my lighter.
用打火机我就得不到 I'm not gonna get my fire making badge
生火奖章了 卡特 using a lighter, Carter.
- 就用吧 - 不行 - Just use it. - No!
- 为什么 - 因为所以 - Why? - 'Cause!
奥基 Augie.
奥基 就用吧 你能下次争取 Augie, just use it. You can get it next time.
什么情况 到底为什么我收不到信号 What the fuck? Why the hell can't I get service?
- 卡特 我们在树林里 - 我在这上面总收得到啊 - Carter, we're in the woods. - I always get service up here.
卡特 也许大自然母亲想要你 Maybe mother nature wants you
把手机放一边 再融入当下 to put the phone away, Carter, and be in the moment.
大自然母亲这么想的吗 Oh, is that what mother nature wants?
也许大自然母亲想这样 Maybe mother nature wants this.
正中靶心 兄弟 Fucking bull's-eye, man!
你是个蠢货 卡特 You're an asshead, Carter.
等下 别 别 别 别拿下来 Wait! No, no, no, no! Don't take it off.
等下 Here we go. Wait. Hold still.
别动 准备好没 说棉花糖 Hold still. Ready? Say, "marshmallow."
卡特吸驴蛋 Carter sucks donkey balls.
哇哦 Wow.
美美的 That's a thing of beauty.
你最好别上传 You better not post that.
我绝对要上传 它是我的杰作 I'm definitely posting that. It's my masterpiece.
好了 马上回来 伙计们 我得撒尿 All right. Brb, guys. I got to pee.
仓鸮？ Barn owl?
我觉得是斑点猫头鹰 I think it's a spotted owl.
是啊 你大概是对的 Yeah, you're probably right.
嘿 Hey.
猜猜我上来时发现了什么 Guess what I found when I was hiking up here?
那棵被我们刻上我们首字母的树 I found the tree we carved our initials into.
- 不会吧 - 真的 - No way! - Yeah.
- 真的？- 没错 - Really? - Yeah.
哇哦 那好像是七年前的事了 Wow. That was like seven years ago.
我知道 不可思议吧 I know. Crazy, right?
那天和卡特在拉屎时 Oh. That was the same day Carter sat on the cactus
坐到仙人掌上是同一天 对吗 when he was taking a shit, right?
然后你爸不得不挑掉那些刺 And your dad had to pick out the needles.
是啊 Yeah.
奥基 我知道我们不怎么聊你爸 Augie, I know we don't talk about your dad much,
但你想的话也没关系 but it's okay if you want to.
要知道 我只是不想扫兴 I just don't want to be a downer, you know.
别这样 奥基 你不会扫兴的 Come on, augie, you're not being a downer.
他是你爸 He was your dad.
你能谈谈他 You can talk about him.
谢了 本 Thanks, Ben.
没事 应该的 Yeah. Of course.
嘿 Hey.
童子军万岁？ Scouts forever?
当然 童子军万岁 Yeah. Scouts forever.
本 嘿 Ben. Hey.
来吧 本 我们走 Come on, Ben. Let's go.
卡特 我觉得这样不太好 Carter, I don't know about this.
你能别杞人忧天了吗 Will you stop crying about this?
走吧 快 动起来 Let's go. Come on, we're doing this.
走吧 来啊 Let's go. Come on.
快 Come on.
我们有打扰到吗 Are we interrupting?
- 你们看上去好棒 - 谢谢 - You look amazing. - Thank you.
嘿 你们看到我弟了吗 Hey, have you guys seen my brother?
他本该已经到了 He should have been here by now.
没看到 哪都没他影子 No. I haven't seen him anywhere, no.
听着 我肯定他很快会到这里 好吗 But look, I'm sure he'll be here any second. Okay?
老兄 奥基要是醒了而我们不在那怎么办 Dude. What if augie wakes up and we're not there?
他不会醒 He's not gonna wake up.
即使楚巴卡在我们营地重步行走 If Chewbacca was fucking bigfoot in our campsite,
他还是不会醒 he'd still be asleep.
- 那是什么 - 什么 - What is that? - What?
看 看啊 他来过这里 Look. Look, he was here.
好吧 所以他决定回家了 Okay. So, he decided to go back home.
他改主意了 He changed his mind.
不是 童子军队长罗杰斯永远不会离开他的幸运刀 No, no, no. Scout leader Rogers would never leave his lucky knife.
我觉得有些不对劲 I think something's wrong.
老兄 我们有病啊 坐这里聊这些 Dude, what's wrong is us sitting here talking about this.
给我 Give me that.
老兄 看啊 看他的脚印 Dude, look. Look at his prints.
他拖着脚走路 像是跛了似的 His foot was dragging like he had a limp or something.
好吧 为你凶残的追踪技术喝彩 Okay. Hurray for your mad tracking skills.
我们能… 我们能走了吗 行吗 Can we just... Can we go? Please?
怎么了 What?
我就觉得他出了很严重的事 I just think something really bad happened to him.
- 又在说罗杰斯吗 - 是啊 - Are we still talking about Rogers? - Yeah.
老兄 他坐在家里穿得像多莉·帕顿 Dude, he is sitting at home dressed up like Dolly parton
唱着秀场乐 安心吧 singing show tunes. Relax.
糟糕 Oh, shit.
奥基 等下 奥基 Augie, wait! Augie!
奥基 Augie!
我以为我们是挚友 I thought we were best friends.
我们是挚友 We are best friends.
- 我们正要回来 - 真的？ - We were coming back. - Really?
在派对之后吧 After your party?
你知道？ You know about that?
所有人都知道高四派对的事 卡特 Everybody knows about the senior party, Carter.
我这种窝囊废都知道 Even a loser like me.
奥基 别那么说 Augie, don't say that.
为什么 你们是这么想的啊 Why not? It's what you guys think!
我们没觉得你是窝囊废 We don't think you're a loser.
本 就告诉他吧 Ben, just tell him.
卡特 不行 Carter, no.
是啊 告诉我 本 Yeah, tell me, Ben.
快 说啊 Come on! Say it!
我们要退出童子军 奥基 We're quitting scouts, augie.
听着 我们小时候 这挺有意思 Look, it was fun when we were kids.
但我们得长大 兄弟 But we have to grow up, man.
奥基 我们还要做挚友 Augie. We're still gonna be best friends.
去你们的派对吧 Go to your party.
奥基 Augie.
奥基 等等 Augie, wait!
奥基 别这样 Augie, come on!
就让他去吧 本 Just leave him, Ben.
怎么回事 收音机怎么了 What the fuck... What's wrong with the radio?
- 卡特 你发现了吗 - 发现什么 - Carter, are you seeing this? - Seeing what?
看啊 镇上没人了 Look. The town's deserted.
- 大家大概都睡了 - 在周五晚上？ - Everyone's probably asleep. - On a Friday night?
说不清楚 感觉很怪 I don't know. Something just feels really weird.
嘿 就停那里 Oh, hey. Pull over right here.
我等不及脱掉这愚蠢的制服了 I can't wait to get out of these stupid uniforms.
好了 我来看看这里 All right. Let's see here.
我们就在这换？ We're just gonna change right here?
周围没人啊 Nobody's around.
牛仔裤 T恤 Let's see. Jeans. T-shirt.
避孕套 准备好了 Condoms. Good to go. Uh...
忘带袜子了？确实忘了 Forget socks? Yes, I did.
- 天啊 - 怎么了 - Holy shitballs! - What?
老兄 看啊 Dude, look.
什么 What?
保安 他不在 The bouncer, he's gone!
卡特 有人砸了门 Carter, someone smashed the door.
我们该溜进去 We should sneak in.
- 我们溜进去 快 溜进去 - 那不合法 - Let's sneak in. Come on. Let's do it. - That's illegal.
- 卡特 我们不能进去 - 来啊 - Carter, we can't go in there! - Come on!
我们不能进去 我们未成年 We can't go in there. We're minors.
这是千载难逢的机会 管它呢 It's the chance of a lifetime. Who cares?
- 你搞什么啊 - 会很棒的 - What are you doing? - It's gonna be awesome!
天呐 等下 等下 等下 Oh, my god. Wait, wait, wait.
好了 没问题 来吧 进去吧 Okay, it's clear. Come on. Let's do it.
天啊 Sweet Jesus.
就是这样 本 This is it, Ben.
我们进来了 We've made it.
我们在女人堆里了 We're at the epicenter of pussy.
见鬼 我得去自动取款机那取点现金 Oh, shit. I got to go to the atm, get some cash.
你给我们找个位置 You find us a spot.
是啊 没人在这 应该不会太难找 Yeah. That shouldn't be too hard since there's, like, nobody here.
嘿 Hey!
我朋友带我来这的 他在取钱 My friend brought me here. He's getting money.
我有女朋友 算有吧 I have a girlfriend, sort of.
妈妈 别担心 爸爸来了 Don't worry, mommy, daddy's here!
老兄 爽死了 Dude, this is fucking awesome!
老兄 她有些不对劲 Dude, something's wrong with her.
看她胸口 那上面都是什么 Look at her chest. What's all over her?
没事 那是化的妆 是丛林风 No, no. That's makeup, dummy. It's a jungle theme.
哇哦 Oh, wow.
太诱人了 This is so hot.
天啊 Oh, my god.
天啊 Oh, my god!
快跑 快跑 Run! Quick, run!
门 去门那 Door, door, door, door!
起来 起来 起来 Get up! Get up! Get up!
- 卡特 - 本 本 - Carter! - Ben? Ben.
这他妈什么情况 What the fuck is going on?
不知道 他们在试图杀我们 I don't know! They're trying to kill us!
- 我只是想看些咪咪啊 - 我知道 - I just wanted to see some titties! - I know!
等下 你是那个脱衣舞女 Wait. You're the stripper.
是鸡尾酒女招待 Cocktail waitress.
童子军队长罗杰斯 Scout leader Rogers?
童子军队长罗杰斯 你在家吗 Scout leader Rogers, are you home?
有人吗 Hello?
天啊 Holy cow.
给我冷静 Calm the fuck down!
冷静？你疯了吗 我们差点在里面被杀 Calm down? Are you crazy? We almost got killed in there!
- 那是你的车吗 - 能麻烦你告诉我们 - Is that your ride? - Can you please just tell us
到底怎么回事吗 what the hell is going on?
我现在真的得洗把脸 I really need to wash up my face right now!
钥匙 拿来 Keys, now!
不行 除非你告诉我们怎么回事 No! Not until you tell us what's happening.
谁有湿巾 Anybody got a wet nap?
你他妈认为是怎么回事 What the fuck do you think is happening?
大家在人吃人 Everyone's eating each other!
- 等下 像是… - 没错 - Wait, like a... - Yes, like that!
不可能 That's not possible.
我想是可能的 本 I think it's possible, Ben.
一个死了的脱衣舞女试图吃我脸 A dead stripper just tried to eat my face!
见鬼 Oh, shit!
该死 见鬼 Oh, fuck. Oh, shit.
朝它开枪 开枪 Just shoot it! Shoot it!
没错 是僵尸 Yep. Zombie.
还有问题吗 Any more questions?
开车 老兄 开车 快 Drive, dude, go! Come on!
你去哪 搞什么啊 Where are you going? What the fuck?
见鬼 Oh, shit!
卡特 去拿轮胎 Carter, get the tire!
拿到了 I got it.
伙计们 快点 他们越来越他妈靠近了 Guys, hurry up! They're getting pretty fucking close!
- 快啊 - 我在尽量快了 - Come on! - I'm going as fast as I can.
去找该死的车轮螺母 Find the fucking lug nuts.
该死 Fuck.
说真的 给我快点 Seriously, hurry the fuck up!
找到了 给 给 I got them! Here. Here.
安上去 Put it on!
好的 很好 装上 装上 Okay. Good. Put it on! Put it on!
该死 Fuck!
搞定了 I got it!
见鬼 Oh, shit!
你妈的一定是在逗我 You got to be fucking kidding me.
开车 开车 Go! Go! Go!
"希望你没事 我只是过来看看 - 奥基"
童子军队长罗杰斯 今晚怎么回事 Scout leader Rogers! What happened tonight?
我们担心你呢 We were worried about you.
我知道那不礼貌 很抱歉 我不得不用你家厕所 I know. It's bad. I'm so sorry. I had to use your bathroom.
我想是因为豆子 I think it was the beans.
和棉花糖的缘故 And the marshmallows.
我试了喷雾 就是散不去那味 I tried spraying. It just lingers.
你的脖子 Your neck!
童子军队长罗杰斯 拜托 别这样 Scout leader Rogers! Please! Stop!
我想你对某种东西产生了严重过敏 I think you're having a bad allergic reaction to something!
我们得带你看医生 We need to get you to a doctor!
所有撤离巴士已经离开 "All evacuation buses have departed.
经由1号国道 "Proceed north on route 1
前往17号英里标记处的安检站 "to the security checkpoint at mile marker 17."
见鬼 镇上的人被撤离了 Oh, shit. They evacuated the town.
真是太好了 That's great.
我错过了派对 也没见着克洛伊 I missed the party, and I missed Chloe,
- 而我现在要死了 - 伙计们 - and now I'm gonna die. - Guys.
卡特 冷静 我们得想想 Carter, calm down! We need to figure out
- 怎么办 - 伙计们 - what we're gonna do. - Guys!
快走 Come on.
快 快 快走 Go, go, go!
- 卡特 锁门 - 我他妈是想锁啊 老兄 - Carter, lock it! - I'm trying to fuckin' lock it, man!
锁不住啊 It's not working.
- 快啊 - 我在试 - Come on! - I'm trying!
走开 Move!
快走 Come on!
卡特 去拿斧头 Carter, get the axe!
快走 快走 Go, go, go.
他们来了 They're coming!
这边 This way!
该死 Fuck!
真他妈太好了 现在怎么办 This is fucking awesome! Now what?
我真抱歉放火烧你 童子军队长罗杰斯 I'm really sorry i set you on fire, scout leader Rogers.
但愿伤得没看起来那么严重 But hopefully, it's not as bad as it looks.
我打了双反手收尾结 I used a double overhand stopper knot.
很难挣脱 对吗 It's hard to get out of, right?
好的 好吧 Okay. All right.
好了 我马上回来 Okay, now. I'll be right back.
好好待着 Just stay there.
伙计 搞什么啊 Dude, what the fuck?
你们没吃够吗 天呐 Haven't you had enough to eat? Jesus.
- 卡特 别惹怒他们 - 怎么了 我要张新的档案照 - Carter, stop agitating them. - What? I need a new profile pic.
那么 你觉得派对的人都被他们撤离了吗 So, do you think they evacuated everyone at the party?
当然 他们必须那么做 Yeah, of course. They had to.
至少我们知道我们父母没事 At least we know our parents are okay.
- 是啊 - 他们在哪 - Yeah. - Where are they?
他们去了某个蹩脚的心灵瑜伽静修处 They went to some lame spiritual yoga retreat.
我宁愿待在这里 Ugh. I think I'd rather be in here.
但愿奥基没事 I hope augie's okay.
- 奥基是谁 - 他是我们的挚友 - Who's augie? - He's our best friend.
现在是前任挚友了 Well, ex-best friend now.
为什么是前任 Why ex?
我们因为派对而甩开了他 Because we ditched him for a party.
本 我们是要回去的 Ben, we were gonna go back.
无所谓了 卡特 我们甩开了他 我们不上路 Whatever, Carter. We ditched him. We're bad friends.
你们为什么不带上他 Why didn't you guys just take him with you?
你不认识奥基 You don't know augie.
- 怎么 - 他只是与众不同 - What? - He's just different.
大闷蛋？ Big geek?
他收集鹿屎 还编篮子 He collects deer shit and weaves baskets.
知道吗 你想象下 Okay? You do the math.
好吧 Okay.
给个忠告 Word of advice,
在高中追求派对和流行？ chasing parties and popularity in high school?
完全没用 It's a total dead end.
对于以后是无关紧要的 None of that shit will matter later.
相信我 我清楚 Trust me. I know.
你说的没错 但你不是在高中辍学了吗 You're right, but didn't you, like, drop out of high school?
- 没有 我拿到了同等学历证 - 怎么会 - No, I got my ged. - Why?
不是所有人都像你不学无术 'Cause not everybody has a Lily-white life like you do.
好吧 天啊 你真不友好 Okay. God, you're so hostile.
三秒后我踹你屁股才叫不友好 No, hostile is three seconds from now when my foot's up your ass.
好啊 放马过来 Okay, yeah. Try all you want,
但我屁眼恰巧很紧 but I happen to have a very tight asshole.
我想我能帮你撑开 I think I could stretch it out for you.
那帮我润滑润滑 宝贝 Oh, well, then lube me up, baby.
卡特 我们现在玩个安静游戏 好吗 Carter! We're gonna play the quiet game now, okay?
好吧 你们可以的 All right, you know what? Fine.
我受够你们两个了 I'm over both of you.
你很拿手啊 You're pretty good at that.
是啊 我想切削奖章总算派上用场了 Yeah, I guess that whittling badge finally paid off.
- 你呢？- 我？ - What about you? - What about me?
你怎么学会用那种霰弹枪的 How'd you learn to use a shotgun like that?
我前男友对枪很感兴趣 My ex-boyfriend was really into guns.
他每周都要拉我去次靶场 He used to drag me to the firing range once a week.
那现在没男友？ So, no boyfriend now?
我会尽量避免有 Not if I can help it.
- 为什么这么说？- 怎么说呢 - Well, why do you say that? - I don't know.
这么说吧 我对男人的品位很差 Let's just say, i have really shitty taste in guys.
我一个人最好不过了 I'm better off alone.
没人如此 Nobody's better off alone.
好吧 我就是 Yeah, well, I am.
多么美好的一刻 Aww, what a beautiful moment.
混蛋 好痛 Ow! Asshole, that hurt!
- 当然 就是要这效果 - 就是要这效果？ - Yeah, that was the point! - Oh, was that the point?
伙计们 嘘 Guys! Shh!
听见没 Do you hear that?
那是 "就酱跳"？ Is that crank that?
他们离开了 They're leaving.
- 我喜欢这首歌 - 你就这德行 - I love this song! - You would.
看 那边 Look! Right there.
该死 但他们会回来 Fuck. But they're gonna come back.
怎么办 What are we gonna do?
- 避孕套 - 什么 - Condoms! - What?
卡特 把你的避孕套给我 快 Carter, give me your condoms! Hurry!
给 拿好 打开 再绑一起 Here. Take them and open them and tie them together.
为什么这么做 Why are we doing this?
- 照做就是 - 好的 好的 - Just do it! - Okay, okay.
一个打开了 Here's one.
快 快 Come on, hurry!
好了 飞钓 真是天才 Here we go. Fly fishing. It's genius.
继续 再过去点 看准了 Go on, just a little bit. Get it right up there.
好了 快 There you go. Come on.
就在那 It's right up there!
你行的 快 You got it, come on.
干得好 太好了 Good work. Yes! Yes!
别 别 别 No, no, no!
天啊 Jesus!
你们被捕了？ You got arrested?
没 我们把自己关了进来 No, we locked ourselves in.
- 怎么会 - 意外 - How? - It was an accident!
这位一定是奥基 This has to be augie.
奥基 去拿钥匙 Augie, get the keys.
你把它们踢进了那边的排水管里 You kicked them into the drainpipe over there.
- 我够不到 - 见鬼 - I can't reach it! - Shit!
- 见鬼 他们要回来了 - 别急 - Shit, they're coming back. - Hold on.
什么 难道我不知道你还有开锁奖章？ What, is there a lockpicking badge I'm unaware of?
你怎么会找到我们 How'd you find us?
循着背叛的恶臭 Followed the stench of betrayal.
奥基 Augie...
我看见了你的车 我想我得帮忙 I saw your car. I figured I'd help.
- 奥基 听着 我真的… - 好了 - Augie, look, I'm really... - Got it!
快走 快走 Go, go, go!
关上门 Close the gate!
哦.. Oh...
我的… my...
天… god.
卡特 走啊 Carter, let's go!
- 快 - 好的 - Come on! - Okay!
天呐 我摸到了 我摸到了 Oh, god. I touched them! I touched them!
我觉得是假的 I don't think they were real.
"迪尔菲尔德12哩"
该死 我的脚痛死我了 Fuck, my feet are killing me.
安检站就几英里远 The security checkpoint's only a few miles away.
老兄 我饿了 Dude, I'm starving.
有人在被活吃 你还能想着吃的？ How can you even think of food when people are being eaten alive?
要知道 据说人吃上去像猪肉 You know, they say that humans taste like pork.
据谁说 "They"?
- 我猜是食人族 - 老兄 我喜欢培根 - Cannibals, I guess. - Dude, I love bacon.
嘿 看啊 Hey, look.
或许钥匙在里面 Maybe the keys are inside.
- 天呐 又是这家伙？- 谁去杀了他 - Jesus! This guy again? - Someone kill him!
卡特 我们不能一直到处杀人 Carter, we can't just keep going around killing people.
- 为什么？- 因为他是人啊 - Why not? - Because he's a human being!
好吧 等他把你的蛋蛋 Okay. We'll see how you feel
当街头夹饼吃时 我们再看你怎么说 when he's eating your nutsack like a street taco.
伙计们 他越来越靠近了 Um, guys, he's getting pretty close.
记得我们的野外安全研讨课吗 Remember our wilderness safety seminar?
什么 What?
遭遇有敌意的生物时 务必发起恐吓 When encountering a hostile creature, be sure to assert yourself cntranslatedbyemtee
防止动物靠近 in order to keep the animal at bay.
我… Well, I...
那是僵尸 不是熊 蠢货 That is a zombie, not a bear, dumbass.
伙计们 我想他在模仿我 Guys, I think he's mimicking me.
奥基 别乱来 Augie, quit messing around.
奥基 Augie.
"小甜甜布兰妮 爱的初告白"
宝贝 宝贝 Oh baby baby
我怎么知道 How was I supposed to know
- 事情不对劲了 - 怎么了 - that something wasn't right here. - What?
- 宝贝 宝贝 - 奥基 你在干嘛？ - Oh baby baby. - Augie, what are you doing?
我不该让你离开 I shouldn't have let you go
现在你无影无踪 and now you're out of sight yea.
让我知道你想怎样 Show me how you want it to be
你在干嘛 What are you doing?
告诉我 宝贝 因为我要现在知道 tell me baby cause I need to know now,
因为我的孤寂 oh because, my loneliness
在要我命 is killing me
而我 and I
我必须承认我仍相信… I must confess I still believe...
好吧 是我刚嗑药了 Okay. Did i just drop acid,
还是他们真在和一个僵尸唱布兰妮的歌 or are they really singing Britney Spears with a zombie?
我失去理智 给我一个提示 I lose my mind, give me a sign
宝贝 再热恋我一次 hit me baby one more time.
你们人都齐了？ Is that all of you?
没错 到底发生了什么 Yeah. What the hell's happening?
还不知道 某种病毒爆发了 Don't know yet. Some kind of viral outbreak.
疾控中心要求军方封隔边界 CDC ordered a military containment perimeter.
镇上大部分人都被撤离了吗 Is most of the town evacuated?
我们尽量撤离了多数人 As many as we could.
这东西爆发得又猛又快 我们仍在尝试遏制它 This thing hit so hard and fast, we're still trying to contain it.
派对的人呢 都被撤离了吗 What about everyone at the party? Were they evacuated?
什么派对 What party?
"市立废弃物处理厂"
人都在哪 Well, where is everybody?
这里没人 一定搞错了 Nobody's here. It must be a mistake.
丹顿大街1146号 没错啊 Yeah, 1146 dunton Avenue. This is it.
没搞错 卡特 杰夫发了假地址给你 It's not a mistake, Carter. Jeff sent you a fake address.
什么 What?
卡特 这里是垃圾处理厂 Carter, this is a waste plant.
懂吗 这里全是垃圾 You get it? It's full of shit.
混蛋 该死的 Motherfucker! God damn it!
不敢相信他居然发了我假地址 I can't believe he sent us a fucking fake address!
有什么好惊讶的 Why does it surprise you?
你真以为 I mean, did you actually think
他会邀请我们去真正的派对？ he was gonna invite us to a real party?
因果报应 Karma.
什么 What?
- 没什么 - 说啊 - Nothing. - No, speak up.
我只是觉得有点小讽刺 要知道 现在你们都很生气 Well, I just think it's a little ironic that, you know, you're all upset now
因为你们被甩开了 because you got ditched.
好吧 所以你是说我们活该咯 Oh, okay. So you're saying that we deserve it.
我们去了你那愚蠢的露营 老兄 We went to your stupid campout, dude.
你们骗了我 You lied to me.
三年来我们一直在骗你 We've been lying to you for the past three years!
- 卡特 - 参加每一次童子军会议 - Carter! - Going to every scout meeting,
每一次蹩脚的野游 every lame field trip.
穿着这些愚蠢的衣服 所以大家都能取笑我们 Wearing these stupid fucking clothes so everybody can make fun of us.
卡特 够了 Carter, that's enough!
本 这次你别遮遮掩掩 Ben, you're not hiding behind me this time.
告诉他 Tell him.
说说你说过多少次 Talk about how many times
你讨厌童子军 你受够了 you said you hated scouts, how sick of it you were.
- 我从没那么说过 - 放屁 - I never said that. - Bullshit!
没事 No, no, no. It's fine.
我想是时候全说出来了 对吗 I guess it's time for it to all come out, right?
他六年级开始就喜欢肯达尔了 He's had a crush on Kendall since sixth grade.
- 那不是真的 - 是真的 - That is not true! - Yes, it is.
- 肯达尔？我姐肯达尔？- 嗯哼 - Kendall? As in my sister Kendall? - Mmm-hmm.
- 不是的 - 老兄 那真像乱伦 - No. - Dude, that's like incest.
没有 我和她甚至不是亲戚 No, it's not, I'm not even related to her.
那你确实喜欢她 So you do like her, then.
- 我不喜欢她 - 我跟你说了 - No, I don't like her! - Told you.
闭嘴 Shut up!
住手 Stop!
又吵？天啊 Again with this shit? Jesus.
你就不能联系谁吗 Can't you just walkie someone?
嘿 你还好吗 Hey, are you okay?
伙计们 Guys!
糟糕 Shit!
抓住他 Get him!
我他妈受够僵尸了 I'm so fucking sick of zombies!
- 呀 - 我的妈呀 - Yikes. - Wa-wa-wee-wa.
见鬼 Shit!
- 喂 有人在吗？- 撤离完成 - Hello! Is anybody there? - Evac complete.
没有 我们还在这里 No, no, no, no. We're still here!
我们有清理行动 We have operation clean up.
开始空中轰炸 地点为0300 重复 0300 Commence aerial bombing of site at 0300. Repeat, 0300.
- 什么 - 完毕 - What? - Over.
不要啊 来人救援啊 喂 喂 No, somebody help! Hello! Hello!
请来人救援 喂 Somebody help, please! Hello!
可恶 Fuck!
他们两小时后要炸了这镇？ They're gonna bomb the town in two hours?
我们怎么办 What are we gonna do?
我们得去找肯达尔和其他人 We have to find Kendall and the others!
那是个秘密派对 他们在哪都有可能 It's a secret party. They could be anywhere.
见鬼 Shit.
我姐的日记 My sister's diary!
她把她生活中每一个无聊的细节都写在那里 She writes every last boring detail of her life in there.
我保证她写了派对地点 I guarantee she wrote down where the party is.
那我们赶紧走啊 We better get fucking going, then.
好了 快走 Okay, now.
好了 来 All right, come on.
这里面闻起来像顽皮吸管糖和内衣的气味 It smells like pixy stix and hope in here.
你以前从没进过姑娘房间 对吗 You've never been in a girl's room before, have you?
- 不对 我… - 妈妈不算 - Yeah, I... - Mom doesn't count.
- 好吧 - 任何女性亲戚都不算 - Will... - Any female relative doesn't count.
伙计们 能专注点吗 日记在哪 Guys! Can we focus? Where's the diary?
她每周都换地方藏 She changes the hiding place, like, every week,
所以分头找吧 so just spread out and start looking.
- 你找到了吗 - 没 - Did you find it? - Nope.
这里什么都没 Nothing over here.
嘿 Hey.
你们听见没 Did you guys hear that?
听见什么？ Hear what?
我觉得我听到楼下有声音 I think I heard something downstairs.
奥基 去看看 Augie, go check it out.
我一个人才不下去 I'm not going down there by myself.
- 和他去啊 - 为什么是我 - Go with him. - Why me?
搞不定再叫我 伙计 Call me when your balls drop, dude.
嘘 Shh!
走路别踩那么重 Don't walk so hard.
你的地板在咯吱咯吱 You have squeaky floors.
这是卡特姐姐？ This is Carter's sister?
是啊 肯达尔 Yeah. That's Kendall.
她显然遗传了良好基因 Well, she clearly won the genetic lottery.
是啊 我觉得她还可以 Yeah. She's okay. I guess.
伙计 她不只是还可以 Dude, she's more than okay.
你对此不用掩饰 You don't have to be all cool about it.
见鬼 Shit.
该死 来 Fuck. Come on.
那么 你怎么没告诉她你喜欢她 So, how come you haven't told her you like her?
有什么用 What's the point?
她绝不会喜欢我这样的人 She's never gonna go for a guy like me.
她有男朋友 And she's got a boyfriend.
而且我要是碰了卡特的姐姐 他会杀了我 And Carter would kill me if I touched his sister.
好吧 听着 这样好了 Okay, look. Here's the deal.
也别误会 And don't take this the wrong way,
但你得爷们儿些 but you have to man up.
我知道 但我不擅长 Yeah, but I suck at being that guy.
我那样子不自信 I'm not assertive like that.
吻我 Kiss me.
什么 What?
别什么了 照做就行 吻我 Don't "what" me, just do it. Kiss me.
你认真的？ Are you serious?
是啊 我认真的 我之前看到你在看我屁股 Yeah, I'm serious. I saw you checking out my ass earlier.
我知道你想 吻我就行 I know you want to do it. Just kiss me.
- 没有 - 本 - No, I wasn't. - Ben!
- 好吧 我就看了一秒 - 吻我 - Okay, for a second I did. - Kiss me.
蒂尼丝 我… Denise, I...
你可以的 来吧 You can do it. Just go for it.
- 抱歉 抱歉 - 该死 该死 - I'm sorry! I'm sorry! - Oh, fuck! Fuck.
- 真抱歉 你没事吧 - 没事 - I'm so sorry. Are you okay? - I'm fine.
看见没 我说了我们不该那么做 See? I told you we shouldn't have done that.
那不是个好主意 It was a bad idea.
没事 再试一次 No, no, no. Let's just try it again.
不行 我感觉好蠢 我们应该找日记 No, I feel stupid. We should look for the diary.
过来 Come here.
不赖啊 Not bad.
真的？ Really?
并不是特别好 别激动 It wasn't, like, top five or anything. Don't get excited.
不过 没错 还可以 But, yeah, it was okay.
等你看见肯达尔了 就朝她走过去 When you see Kendall, just walk straight up to her,
对她爷们儿些 lay some of that shit on her,
她就会被你迷住 and you're golden.
好的 谢谢 Okay. Thanks.
我想是我们没关上 Guess we left it open.
嘿 奥基 Hey, augie.
本今晚并不想丢下你 Ben didn't want to leave you tonight.
是我的主意 It was my idea.
那有什么区别 What difference does it make?
都已经这样了 It's done.
是啊 Yeah.
该死 Oh, fuck!
来 Come on.
下面到底什么情况 What the hell is going on down there?
没事 一切都在控制之中 We're fine! Everything's under control!
不要啊 不要啊 不能是我的屁股 No! No, no, no, no. Fucking, no! Not my ass!
不要啊 不要啊 Oh, no, no, no, no!
我的屁股 我的屁股啊 My ass! My ass!
她在嚼我的屁股 She's gumming my ass!
天啊 Oh, my god!
卡特 Carter!
天啊 好恶心 Oh, god! Oh, it's disgusting!
卡特 Carter!
再见 贱人 Peace out, bitch!
发生什么事了 What the hell happened?
见鬼 回楼上 回楼上 Shit. Back upstairs! Back upstairs!
快 快 快 Come on, come on, come on!
快移 Move it!
这挡不住他们 That's not gonna hold them!
- 你们找到日记了吗 - 没 我们到处都找了 - Did you find the journal? - No! We looked everywhere!
伙计们 我们得走了 快 Guys, we got to go! Come on!
天啊 他们来了 Oh, my god! They're coming!
伙计们 我们跳的话 或许能越过栅栏 Guys, if we jump, we might be able to clear the fence!
- 什么 - 管它呢 跳吧 - What? - Fuck it, let's just jump!
栅栏差不多10英尺远啊 The fence is like 10 feet away!
- 我先 - 快 快 - I'll go first! - Go, go!
好了 快 快 Okay. Go, go, go!
奥基 现在该你了 Augie, you got to go now!
快 Hurry!
不行 我恐高 I can't, I'm afraid of heights!
更怕僵尸就好了 快 Be more afraid of zombies! Go!
那是他的小鸡鸡吗 Is that his wiener?
我们得帮忙 We got to do something.
伙计们 救我 我要掉下去了 Guys, help me! I'm falling!
抓好那个鸡巴 本 Hang on to that cock, Ben!
伙计们 快点 救我 Guys, hurry! Help me!
你在干嘛 What are you doing?
嘿 混蛋们 过来抓我啊 Hey! Assholes! Come and get me.
快 Hurry!
要断了 It's ripping!
他的鸡巴要断了 His dick's ripping!
- 我拿到了 - 天啊 - I got it! - Dude!
- 我拿到了 - 藏哪了 - I got it. - Where was it?
- 内衣抽屉 - 正点 - Underwear drawer. - Classic.
快跑 Run!
锁住 Lock it.
奥基 照明 Augie, get the lights.
没电了 The power's out.
我们是在哪 Where the hell are we?
菲尔德夫人家 Mrs. fielder's house.
不敢相信我们竟砍了她的头 I can't believe we just chopped her head off.
她想吃我屁股 她活该 She tried to eat my ass, augie. She deserved it.
伙计们 我们得继续转移 快 Guys, we got to keep moving. Come on.
卡特 去窗口查看下 Carter, check the window.
见鬼 他们到处都是 Shit, they're everywhere.
菲尔德夫人的车在车库里 Miss fielder's car is in the garage.
或许我们能从那里出去 这边 Maybe we can get out that way. This way.
那是什么？ What was that?
我觉得有什么在这里面 I think something's in here.
该死 是猫 Fuck, cat.
奥基 Augie?
老兄 老兄 Dude, dude.
- 奥基 - 怎么了 - Augie. - What?
别动 Don't move.
- 你打中了吗 - 打中了 我打中了 - Did you get it? - I got it! I got it!
快跑 Run!
快 快 快 Come on, come on, come on!
- 打开车库门 - 开不了啊 - Open the garage door! - It won't open!
开车 本 开车 Go! Ben, go!
去他妈的 Fuck it!
天呐 那是童子军队长罗杰斯 Oh, my god. It's scout leader Rogers!
- 他看上去糟透了 - 我放火烧了他 - He looks like shit! - I set him on fire.
- 什么 - 他想吃我啊 - What? - He tried to eat me!
- 等下 你在干嘛 - 别… - Wait, what are you doing? - No, don't...
抱歉 兄弟 Sorry, bro!
好了 日记说他们在 All right, the diary said they're at
杜瓦街的旧娱乐中心 the old rec center on dewer street.
但愿我们还来得及 Hopefully, we're not too late.
好了 我会尽快叫救援的 All right, I'll try to get help as soon as I can.
小心点就是了 Just be careful.
- 蒂尼丝 - 怎么了 - Denise. - Yeah?
听着 我不知道之后会怎样 Look, I don't know what's gonna happen,
但我只想让你知道 but I just wanted to let you know that
你是我见过的最酷的姑娘 you're one of the coolest girls I've ever met.
希望你会遇到配得上你的那个人 And, uh, I hope you meet someone that deserves you.
谢谢 Thanks.
伙计们 走吧 我们去派对那 Guys, let's go. We got to get to the party.
本 这是自杀行动 Ben, this is a suicide mission.
伙计们 他们会在两小时内 Guys, they're gonna bomb this whole town
炸了这整个镇 in less than two hours.
要是蒂尼丝及时联系到军方了呢 What if Denise reaches the military in time?
她要是没联系到呢 卡特 然后会怎样 And what if she doesn't, Carter? Then what?
谁来救他们 警察？他们都死了 Who's gonna save them? The police? They're gone.
军方？他们也不会来 The military? They're not coming, either.
伙计们 我们是最后的防线 Guys, we're the last line of defense.
或许我们穿着这些制服看上去像傻瓜 And so what? Maybe we look like dorks in these uniforms.
或许我们是全校人的大笑料 那又如何 And maybe we're a big joke to everyone at school.
但今晚 But tonight,
我们要让他们见识下什么才是真正的童子军 we're gonna show them what being a real scout's all about.
那么 我们是要站这里无动于衷 So, are we just gonna stand here with our thumbs up our asses?
还是去那里拯救世界 Or are we gonna go out there and save the world?
好样的 老兄 Fuck, yeah, dude.
本 讲得太棒了 That was a really good speech, Ben.
谢谢 奥基 Thanks, augie.
开干吧 Let's do it.
娱乐中心往那走 The rec center's that way.
我们先去次加油站 We're making a pit stop first.
"汽油"
"肥料"
"器材长"
"小队长"
"小队员"
你认真的吗 Are you serious?
我没一条信息能发出去 崔弗斯 None of my text messages are going through, Travis.
别担心 宝贝 Don't worry about that, baby.
你带我去哪 Where are you taking me?
是个惊喜 Um, it's a surprise.
你需要被轻拍下屁屁 对吗 You need a little spanking, don't you?
崔弗斯 搞什么啊 Travis, what the fuck?
来 Come on.
好吧 这地方好恶心 Okay, this place is disgusting.
我要给你做检查 I need to examine you.
- 过来 - 好吧 - Get over here. - Oh, okay.
天呐 你好性感 God, you're so sexy.
谢谢 Thank you.
好了 我们现在不准备做爱 Okay, we're not about to fuck right now.
为什么 Why not?
因为我们约会了只有… 两分钟的样子 Because we've only been dating for, like, two minutes.
口交如何 What about a blow job?
崔弗斯 我花了一个小时才找到这片口香糖 Travis, I spent an hour trying to find this piece of gum.
糟透了 Sucks.
好吧 你能舔我 Okay, fine. You can eat me out.
- 真的？- 真的 不谢 - Really? - Yes. You're welcome.
我在监狱时 When I'm in jail
做的第一件事是和另一个小妞说话 the first thing you do is talk to another chick.
什么情况 What the fuck?
嘿 变态 滚开 Hey, pervert, fuck off!
你认真的吗 兄弟 You serious, bro?
我当时在监狱 I was in jail!
喂 你舔不舔啊 Hello? Are you going to do it or what?
你的嘴有点冷 Your mouth's kind of cold.
别碰 Stop.
- 别碰 - 别这样 宝贝 - Stop! - Come on, babe.
- 住手 - 你他妈有病啊 - Stop it! - What the fuck's your problem?
我在担心我弟 I'm worried about my brother.
他几小时前就该到了 He should've been here hours ago.
- 他不会来了 宝贝 - 你怎么知道 - He's not coming, babe. - How do you know?
我给了他错误的地址 Because I gave him the wrong address.
- 什么 - 他们是童子军 肯达尔 - What? - They're scouts, Kendall!
听着 你觉得我真会邀请他们吗 Look, what'd you think, i was gonna invite them for real?
- 过来 - 你真是个混蛋 - Come here. - You are such a dick!
- 怎么 你可不能离开 - 看着 - What? You're not leaving. - Watch me!
别想走 You're not going!
好吧 走吧 婊子 Fine, go, bitch!
天呐 姑娘 用条卫生棉行吗 Oh, Jesus, girl. Get a fucking tampon, would you?
来人救命啊 Someone help!
救命 拜托 来人救命 Help! Please, someone help!
好了 童子军们 让僵尸尝尝我们的厉害 All right, scouts, let's kick some zombie ass.
嘣 Boom.
克洛伊？ Chloe?
天呐 Oh, man.
钉中 Nailed it.
就一混蛋 What a dick.
本 他们到处都是啊 Ben, they're everywhere!
集合 Circle up!
你们想尝尝这个？ You want some of this?
混蛋们 去死吧 You assholes! Die!
来啊 你们想要我的一块肉？ Come on! You want a piece of me?
本 本 Ben! Ben!
救命 Help!
本 Ben!
坚持住 肯达尔 我来了 Hang on, Kendall! I'm coming!
见鬼 Oh, shit.
见鬼 见鬼 启动啊 快 Oh, shit. Shit, start! Come on!
本 当心 Ben, look out!
见鬼 Shit.
本 闪开 Ben, duck!
本 Ben!
肯达尔 下来 爬下来 快 Kendall, come down! Climb down, hurry!
- 你没事吧 - 我想我没事 - Are you okay? - Yeah, I think so.
伙计们 快走 Guys, come on!
快走 快 Come on. Come on!
我们得带所有人出去 走吧 We got to get everyone out of here! Let's go!
所有人都去楼梯那 快 Everybody! Get to the stairs! Come on!
走吧 Let's go!
快 所有人 快走 Come on, everybody, move!
快 快走 快 快走 Hurry up! Come on, come on! Let's go!
快走 Let's go!
快走 快 Let's go! Come on!
见鬼 Oh, shit!
你在干嘛 What are you doing?
我们要是不锁上门 他们就会跟着你们 你必须离开 They'll follow you if we don't lock the doors! You gotta go!
- 你呢 - 你必须离开 相信我 - What about you? - You got to go! Trust me!
我不要离开你 不行 I'm not leaving you! No!
快走 快走 相信我 Go! Go! Trust me!
我没弹药了 见鬼 I'm out! Oh, shit!
他们太多了 快走 快 快 There's too many of them! Come on, let's go! Hurry!
快走 Let's go!
可恶 Oh, fuck!
- 快走 - 快 - Let's go! - Come on!
快 快走 Hurry, come on!
快走 奥吉 快 Go, augie, go!
快跑 快跑 Run! Run!
门在哪 Where's the door?
一定有另一个出口 There's got to be another exit.
我一个都没看到 I don't see one!
- 我们被困住了 - 见鬼 - We're trapped. - Shit.
这里没法出去 可恶 There's no way out of here. Fuck.
怎么办 把你的背包给我 What do we do? Give me your backpack.
干嘛 你在干嘛 What? What are you doing?
- 那是什么 - 炸弹 - What is that? - It's a bomb.
- 你做了颗炸弹？- 你是什么人 塔利班？ - You made a bomb? - What are you, the Taliban?
我们要么快点死 要么被活活吃了 Either we die fast or we're eaten alive
再转变成那些东西的一员 and turn into one of those things!
自己选吧 Your choice.
见鬼 卡特 把你的打火机给我 Shit. Carter, give me your lighter.
给 Here.
你们准备好没 Are you guys ready?
- 等下 - 怎么了 - Wait! - What?
我得说几句 I need to say something.
本 没事的 Ben, it's fine.
- 你不必这样 - 不行 我得说 - You don't have to do this. - No, I do.
我们今晚根本不该甩开你 奥基 We should have never ditched you tonight, augie.
我们的所作所为真的糟透了 What we did was really messed up.
他说的对 我们是彻头彻尾的蠢货 He's right. We've been complete d-bags.
都怪我 我绝不该让你们认为 It's my fault. I never should have made you guys think
你们只是因为我而不得不留在童子军 you had to be in scouts for just me.
就是因为你啊 No, that's just it!
我以为我想退出 可我只是担心 I thought I wanted out, but I was just worried
别人的想法而已 事实是 what other people were gonna think. The truth is,
我喜欢做童子军 I love being a scout.
我喜欢是因为我因此而认识你们 And I love it because it's the reason i met you guys.
我知道今晚很疯狂 也糟透了 And I know tonight's been really crazy and fucked up,
但有一件好事 but one good thing has happened.
就是现在 And it's this, right now.
我们 Us.
又在一起了 Being back together.
童子军万岁 Scouts forever.
本 要是我现在牵住你的手是不是很挫？ Ben? Is it really lame if I hold your hand right now?
不会 No.
该死的 蠢东西 Oh, god damn it. This stupid thing!
- 你在干嘛 - 没燃油了 - What are you doing? - It's out of fluid!
拿来 给我 Here. Give me that.
等下 你有别的打火机吗 Wait, do you have another lighter?
该死的 奥基 我们本该快点死的 God damn it, augie, we were supposed to die fast!
这下要痛死了 This is gonna hurt so bad.
快 奥基 你行的 Come on, augie, you can do it!
别给我压力 我讨厌压力 Don't pressure me! I hate that!
嘿 白痴们 你们要在那坐着还怎么 Yo, dipshits! You just gonna sit there or what?
她哪冒出来的 Where'd she come from?
奥基 别管它了 Augie, leave it!
奥基 走吧 Augie, let's go!
你们没事吧 Are you guys okay?
我活着 我活着 I'm alive. I'm alive!
天呐 奥基 Oh, my god! Augie!
- 老兄 你是个天才 - 成功了 - Dude! You're a genius! - It worked!
太屌了 That was fucking awesome!
- 太好了 兄弟 - 成功了 - Fuck, yeah, man! - It worked!
什么情况 What the fuck?
那是童子军队长罗杰斯吗 Is that scout leader Rogers?
你不得不佩服他 这人很拼啊 You got to hand it to him. The man is a fighter.
见鬼 谁有武器 Oh, shit. Does anybody have a weapon?
这附近一定有能用的 There's got to be something around here.
每次都他妈这样 Every goddamn time!
来的真是时候 Now you decide to show up.
疏散队 Evacuation fleet
前往第二地点 moving to secondary location.
伙计 你看上去糟透了 Dude, you look like shit.
是啊 你还想怎么样？我整晚都在杀僵尸 Yeah, well, what do you expect? I've been killing zombies all night.
是啊 昨晚你有点屌 Yeah, you were kind of badass last night.
谢谢回来 Well, thanks for coming back.
总得有人救你们 Somebody's got to keep saving your ass.
是啊 我想也是 Yeah, I guess so.
那么 今后我们一起混吗 或是… So, um, are we gonna hang out after this, or...
拜托 我觉得我们四个现在是一队了 Come on, I feel like the four of us are a team now.
安心点 伙计 Relax, dude.
现在你有正事要做 You've got some business to take care of right now.
去吧 你行的 Go for it. You got this.
- 好 - 去吧 - All right. - Go.
我很高兴你没事 I am so happy that you're okay.
噢 好温馨 击掌 Oh, that's so sweet. Up top!
老兄 我不会为这事击掌 Dude, I'm not high-fiving that.
拜托 Come on.
你觉得我会为这事击掌？ You think I'm high-fiving that?
别这样 Come on!
看看他们啊 Aww, look at them!
你是什么人 Who are you?
我是一名童子军 I'm a scout.
好吧 这表示 All right, well, this just means
- 我要上了他妈 - 嘿 - I'm gonna fuck his mom. - Hey!
怎么了 What?
"休闲中心"
拜托 Come on.
结束 The end.