逃学威龙 三之龙过鸡年
肚子还痛不痛啊
Do you have stomach ache?
痛啊
Yes.
一阵一阵地绞痛 这我已经跑两次厕所了
I went shitting twice.
星星
Sing-sing.
诶 阿敏
Hi, ah man.
表哥 觉得怎么样
Cousin, how are you?
啊 像我这样 身经百战的警务人员
I am an experienced police officer.
这点皮外伤 跟长青春痘一样
I won't care about such little injury.
他就不同了
But he is different.
这是给他机会 接触像我这样的高级上司
He hasn't had such chance to meet with a senior officer like me.
你并不是 我的上司
You are not my boss.
你已经不再是 警务人员了
And you are not a police officer either.
你已经被警务署 停了职
You are suspended by the department.
我不过是 把你当一个普通的证人 来保护
I am just protecting a common witness.
诶 我是被冤枉的
I was framed,
迟早 会水落石出
you'll know that I am innocent sooner or later.
等我出去后复职 你就知道了
When I resume duty, you will regret what you've done to me.
诶... 你们两个人 都少说一句
Cut the crap,
不要吵了
stop arguing.
叫他有出息一点 好不好啊
Please, you'd encourage him.
- 跑到这里来卧底 - 好... 我知道
- Say, being the undercover. - Right... I know.
卧底
Undercover?
你不要再叫他 去做卧底了
Don't ask him to be undercover again!
我最恨他去做卧底
I hate people being undercover.
星星啊
Sing-sing,
你答应过我 再也不做卧底了 哦
Sing-sing, you promised me you'd never be undercover again.
对
Yes.
但是做卧底 也比保护这个白痴好啊
But I prefer being an undercover than protecting this scumbag.
我这种身手 还要你保护
I need no protection from you.
你从停职到现在
But you were attacked
- 已经被仇家 堵了三十几次了 - 哇儿靠
- over 30 times after you're suspended. - Shit!
来呀 来呀
- What? - Come on.
好了 好了 你们不要再吵了
Stop arguing!
我盛汤给你们喝啊
I will give you some soup, come on.
还有哪里 觉得不舒服啊
Anything wrong with you?
头有点烫 还有点昏昏的
I have headache, and a little bit dizzy.
这就难怪了
I see!
好 你说什么都不肯出院
You refuse to leave the hospital,
原来这里的护士 这么漂亮
because the nurses here are so pretty.
把手烫到了
My hand is hurt.
小姐 我什么时候才可以出院呀
Miss, when can I leave the hospital?
只要你乖乖的
As long as you're obedient.
诶 你还看啦
No peeping!
我手烫到了 你都不理我
No peeping! You don't even take care of my hand!
出去擦点药药 就好了
Go and get some medicines from the nurse.
不准再看啊
No peeping!
小狗才看她
I haven't!
你干嘛呀
What are you doing?
刚才好危险 你没看见呀
It was dangerous! Didn't you notice it?
什么危险 你变态啊
What? You are insane!
趴下
On the floor!
啊 别闹了
That's too much!
不是呀 他…
No, he...
你不要以为我好欺负 你再试试看
Don't bully me! Try once more if you dare!
你的 小心
Be careful!
趴下
Be careful!
你这个色魔
Damn you, you wolf!
我老公 都没有对我这样
I can recognize you anyway.
总部 我是周星星 Call我啊
Calling control, I am chow sing-sing, are you calling me?
是呀
Yes.
正好 我刚刚破获了 一个惊天的杀手集团
I've just destroyed a notorious group of killers.
抓到几个 罪有应得的匪徒
And I've arrested the involved criminals.
叫人来 全带回去
Come and take them back to the station now.
我也有份呢
Tell him I achieved something.
黎警司叫你 马上赶到现场去
Officer lai asked you to go to the scene immediately.
我正在保护证人 走不开啊
I am now protecting the witness, I can't leave.
黎警司叫你放下一切 马上到现场去
Officer lai asked you to leave everything alone. Come now.
真的放下一切
Do you mean to leave everything alone?
是啊
Yes.
放就放
Alright.
等我把枪捡起来 才准动哦
Don't move, let me pick up the gun first.
诶
Hey,
星星呢
Where is sing-sing?
全部给我 一字排开 趴在墙上
Everyone face to the wall, now!
发生什么事了
What's the matter?
他被召回总部去了
He is called by the headquarters.
嗨啊 这个试管是漏的
Hey, the test tube is broken,
帮我拿个杯子 装一下啊
Hey, the test tube is broken, give me a cup.
噢
Yes, sir!
长官好
Madam
我马上拿去化验
I'll take it for chemical test right now.
这里发生什么情况
What's the matter?
是件凶杀案
It's a homicide case.
啊
What?
请问死者是个人 还是动物啊
Is the dead a man or an animal?
是人
Man.
是人 怎么会有条尾巴 在这里呢 请问
Why a tail is found here?
诶 你不是化学老师
You are the chemical teacher.
你是哪位啊
Who are you?
我是周星星啊
I am chow sing-sing,
在第一集 你教过我化学的
you taught me chemistry in last movie.
我怎么不记得 我教过化学啊
I can't remember that.
我是法医
I am the legal medical expert,
你是哪位啊
who are you?
周星星
Chow sing-sing.
你刚才 问我什么
What did you ask me before?
没事
Nothing.
嘿 秀逗
Nonsense.
黎警司呢
Have you seen officer lai?
哪位黎警司啊
Which one are you talking about?
就是那个白痴啊
That scumbag.
整天自称是 终极警探布鲁斯·威利
He claims himself Bruce willies,
做事蛮不讲理的那个白痴啊
he is nicknamed super-cop.
那个白痴 现在被你 踩在脚下了
That scumbag's foot is under yours.
对不起 长官
Sorry, sir.
有没有 踩扁你啊
Are you hurt?
大庭广众 这样踩我脚 怎么下台啊
Sure! I am hurt!
这个嘛
Yes.
诶 关于这件凶杀案呢
About the homicide...
这件凶杀案 非常的残忍
It's so cruel.
死者是个有钱人 叫王百万
The dead is called million wong.
双手被人绑在床上 用冰锥插死的
His hands are tied up, and he is stabbed to death by an ice digger.
床上留下了 很多的精液
There are sperms left on the bed sheet.
跟最近一部电影的情节 很相像
The way he was killed is similar to the story of one recent movie.
那你这么急地Call我来 有何吩咐呢
So what do you want me to do with this case?
你先看这照片
Take a look at this picture.
诶 干嘛偷拍我的照片呢
When did you take my picture?
我会生气的
I hate this.
这是死者的照片
This is the picture of the dead,
跟你长得一模一样
you two look like the same.
只不过多了颗痣
But he had a mole more.
居然有这种事
It's funny.
你想怎么样
What do you want?
当然有你的好处了
It's a merit to you.
对不起啊 擦檫脸
I am sorry, clean your face please.
诶
Ah.
卫生纸 哪来的
Where did you get the tissue paper?
床边拿的
It's put next to the bed, so what?
这是死者 用来擦那儿的
It's used by the victim for cleaning.
擦哪儿的
Cleaning what?
你说呢
What do you think?
就当作 做脸好了
It's alright, just take it as facial.
诶 你说对不对呀 黎Sir
What do you think, officer lai?
诶 刚才死者那杯精液呢
Where are the sperms of the victim?
啊 在这里呀
Here it is.
诶... 怎么没有了
It's empty.
诶 小子
Hey, guy,
你知不知道 你破坏了现场的物证
You know it's a serious crime...
这是 很严重的
...to destroy the evidence?
除非 你照我的指示去做
Unless you obey my instruction,
否则 就再回街上去 指挥交通
or you'll be punished.
你的任务就是 假装王百万 回到他家去
Your mission is to act as million wong, and go back to his home.
监视他老婆 汤茱迪
To keep an eye on his wife, Judy tong.
还有一个 跟他穿同一条裤子的朋友 林大岳
And his friend, taior lam who always wants to take his advantage.
这两个人 杀他的嫌疑最大了
They are suspected to be the murderer.
然则 你就是叫我去当卧底 是不是
You want me to be undercover?
其实呢 正确的名称 应该叫做
That's what I want. Or you can name yourself
二五仔 鬼头仔 边缘人 线民
betrayer,
或者spyer都可以了
or, bag egg, just as you like!
我求求你啊
I beg you,
不要再叫我 去做卧底了
I beg you, don't ask me to be undercover.
我答应过我马子 不再做这种事了
I promised my girl of not being undercover anymore.
否则 我连老婆 都没了
Or, I will lose my wife.
诶 你就做做好事
Please, be merciful.
就当我是苏乞儿 可怜可怜我吧 恩公
Please show mercy to me, I beg you!
你可以不去啊
You can refuse going.
找人录口供
Anyone of you, just take him back...
告这位警务人员 蓄意破坏重要的物证
...and charge him of destroying the important evidence.
是
Yes sir.
这么凶 想吓死人呢
You scared me!
我不去 可以叫别人去啊
Even I refuse, there will be another one who is willing to go.
大不了 你说怎样就怎样嘛 死鬼
Ok, I will listen to you, you are disgusting!
麦当娜 像这样求过我
I haven't promised macdonna
八次 我都没有答应
who flattered me 8 times.
何况是你
So how can you change my mind by flattering me like this?
是麦当雄吧
I think it's not macdonna but Mac Don-hung.
麦当娜
Macdonna.
给个面子 别叫我去 行不行啊
Please give me face to let me excuse from this mission!
不行 一定要你去
No, you should go.
你太霸道了吧
You are too dominant!
霸道是我的最佳拍档 你不知道
Dominic is my Christian name.
岂有此理 做人处世不要欺人太甚了 你
Damn it, don't go too far!
告诉你 我是虎鹤双形的冠军
I am a kung-fu master.
夺命剪刀脚 跟降龙十八掌
I am expert in no-shadow fist,
也都有 几十年的造诣了
and skeleton kick!
说难听点 我让你双手双脚
You can never defeat me.
光用头 就能够顶死你
But I can defeat you just by my tongue!
你是不是 一定要我去先
Do you want me to go?
不过你硬要我去 一定有你的原因
But there must be a reason why you want me to go.
我想了又想嘛
Let me think...
还是尊重 你的决定
I respect your decision.
好吧
Ok?
好
Fine!
其实我最喜欢 边缘人这个名字
Actually I love the name of "undercover".
是你自己愿意的 我可没逼你哦
I didn't push you.
别傻了
You are silly,
大家都是自己人嘛 还说这种话 真是的…
how can you say this to your best friend?
你是不是 不把我当朋友啊
Are you taking me as your friend?
诶嘿 同事一场 先借二三十万来买栋房子吧
We're colleagues, lend me few hundred thousands to buy a flat, ok?
哼 看你那个死样子 就知道你不讲义气
I can tell you are not righteous.
我会全力支持你的
I will support you anyway.
好好用心破案啊
Try hard to solve the case.
诶 未来表妹夫
My future brother-in-law.
相请人 不如偶遇
How nice to meet you,
我请你饮茶
it's my treat.
不过 先打个两万块来 用一用
But, lend me $20,000 first.
诶 你已经被停职了 还来瞎搅和
You are suspended, how dare you borrow money from me?
别让我丢脸
Don't lose my face.
我来报警 行不行呀
I come to report a crime, isn't it ok?
有女人非礼我
I was indecent assaulted by a woman.
等等先
Hold it...
黎Sir
Sir,
你刚才说 要全力支持我 是吧
As you said before, you'd support me anyway.
只要你肯做 你要什么 都行啊
If you are willing to do so, I will do everything to assist you.
那太好了 我就要他 当我的助手
That's fine! I want him to be my assistant!
第三排 第四个位子
The 4th seat of the 3rd row.
诶 你太夸张了吧
You are exaggerating!
你管我
None of your business.
诶 你怎么到现在才来
You are late!
哎呀 局里面有事嘛
I was busy.
怎么样 现在演到哪里了
How is the story?
呐 就演到那个女人呐 跟一个男人在床上
The woman stays with the man on bed,
突然拿出一个冰锥 一直刺那个男的
she kills the man with an ice-digger.
诶
Hey,
我有事情 要告诉你
Hey, I want to tell you something.
什么事呀
What?
我把学校的工作辞掉了
I quitted the job in school.
我想要帮我妈 专心经营她那个花店
I want to help my mom to take care of her florist.
我想啊 到酒店哪 茶楼哪 接一些订单回来做
I wish to take some orders from the hotels and restaurants.
你说 这好不好
Isn't it a good idea?
好啊 非常好
Good, very good.
我也有事情 要告诉你
I have something to talk to you too.
什么
What?
明天开始 我又要去当卧底了
I will be an undercover starting from tomorrow morning.
你说什么
What?
我说明天开始 我又要去当卧底了
I will be an undercover starting from tomorrow morning.
你不腻吗
Are you tired of that?
我腻了
Sure,
但是我们老板不腻 我也没有办法
but not my boss. I can't help.
这次 又要假装什么人了
What identity will you be this time?
一个女人的老公
A husband of a woman.
是哪一个女人呢
Which woman?
你可不能告诉别人咯
Keep this as secret.
诶 就是常在八卦周刊出现的 那个汤茱迪
Judy tong, who always appears in the gossip magazine.
我只能告诉你这么多 其他的都要保密
This is what I can tell, others should be kept confidential.
你不会介意吧
Don't you mind?
你太夸张了吧
It's not necessary for you to scare like this!
想吃我豆腐 是不是
Or do you want to take advantage?
我是想吃臭豆腐啊 白雪公主
Sure. Miss snow white!
那你慢慢吃吧 我走了
I am leaving.
借过
Excuse me.
阿敏
Ah man.
阿敏
Ah man.
诶...啊 阿敏
Ah man.
阿敏
Ah man.
- 去哪里 - 干什么了
- where are you going to? - What are you doing?
你要去哪里呀
Where are you going to?
诶
Hey,
是你答应我 不再做卧底的嘛
You promised me not to be undercover again!
你不讲信用啊
You're not keeping your word.
别闹了 这是上级的命令 我也没有办法呀
You silly girl, this is an order, I can't help.
明天 就是大年三十
Tomorrow is the lunar new year Eve.
- 你答应过我 要到我家 吃年夜饭的 - 对不起 借过
- You promised to dine with my family. - Excuse me.
我不借 进去再抖一抖
No, go and piss once more.
少个人 只是少双筷子而已
It doesn't matter!
菜还是一样好吃的嘛 好了 乖乖的啊
Don't be silly...
好 你要去做那个汤茱迪的老公
Ok, you want to be the husband of Judy tong?
她不男不女 古古怪怪的
She is weird!
是不是还要睡 同一张床上
Will you sleep with her?
我会 睡得很惊醒
No,
绝对不会做出 什么事情来
I will never do that!
不过喝醉酒 就难说了
But, I am not sure if I get drunk.
你陪女人睡觉 是吗
Are you going to sleep with her?
那我就要到外面 陪男人玩
I will date other boyfriends in return.
哎 你不讲理啊 你以为我愿意啊
I don't want to do so,
- 那是工作嘛 - 对不起 借过
- it's my job. - Excuse me.
不借啦
No excuse.
我已经抖过一次了
I have pissed again.
那再拉泡屎
So, go shitting.
我不管
I don't care,
只要让我知道 你在外面乱来
if you do something wrong,
那就是 你敬我一尺 我敬你一丈
I will take revenge.
你陪一个人睡 我就陪十个男人睡
Say, I will sleep with 10 men.
哇 你身为我的马子
You're my girlfriend.
说出这种话来 成何体统
Why say such words?
还有呢
And,
如果 你对不起我
If you do something wrong,
我就会像戏里的女主角一样
I will learn from the character of the film.
趁你睡着的时候
When you fall asleep,
把你绑在床头
I will tie you up,
用冰锥 戳死你
and stab you to death with the ice-digger.
想把我 绑在床头 别开玩笑了
Tie me up? Stop kidding,
小心驶得万年船
Stop kidding, be careful.
喂 你干什么
What are you doing?
没有啊
Nothing.
诶...你洗完澡了
Have you bathed?
是啊
Yes.
诶 罚你先写完春联
You should write the fei chun first.
好 我明天写
Fine, I'll make it tomorrow.
没得说
No way,
快去啊
go now.
哎呀 好累呀 我的手
My hands are tired.
先写这么多 行不行啊
May I stop here?
手累了 用脚写
You can use your feet.
哇 真的用脚写 有一套
Great! You wrote them with your toes.
这就想难倒我啊
Sure! I am really smart!
你挺不错的
Sure you are!
我这么棒
I'm so great,
你是不是 越来越喜欢我了
Are you loving me more?
如果 你真的这么棒
If you were so smart that...
用脚吃面 给我看看
Eat the noodle with your toes, can you?
你说什么
What did you say?
喂
Hello?
啊 王太太吗 这是警察局
Are you Mrs. wong? This is a call from the police station.
我们在新界 找到你先生 王百万了
We have found your husband.
真的
Really?
他现在 人在哪里啊
Where is he now?
啊 在警察局 请你立刻来 把他带回去
In the police station, come and pick him up.
谢谢啊
Thank you.
少奶
Madam,
有人送了 好漂亮的内裤给你
Madam, someone sent you some expensive underwears.
神经 是人都知道 我不穿内裤的
Idiot, everyone knows that I hate wearing underwears.
还给他
You may take them as your own.
是
Thank you.
我现在去接少爷了
I am now going to take master home.
是 少奶
Yes, madam.
你是烫猪皮 哦不
Are you jelly tong, no...
诶 汤茱迪 对不对
Are you Judy tong?
叫我茱迪
Call me Judy.
你找到我老公了
Have you found my husband?
哦 是呀 我们是在新界 找到他的
Yes, we found him in new territories.
他的神智 不太清醒
He seems to have lost his memory!
我们怀疑 他的头部 受过重创
We suspected that his head was seriously hurt.
身上一毛钱 都没有啊
He's got not a penny in his pocket.
可能被抢劫过 也说不定
Maybe he is robbed.
哼 是被女人抢了吧
Robbed by woman, I guess.
这么多男人 没一个抽烟的吗
Why don't you smoke?
王太太 对不起啊 这房间里不准抽烟
Mrs. wong, I am sorry, smoking is not allowed in this room.
抽烟 要不要坐牢啊
Would you put me in jail?
噢 坐牢倒不要哈
No... but...
要罚五千块
$5,000 will be fined.
这有一万块 请你一块抽吧
Here is ten thousand, I will treat you cigarette.
王太太
Mrs. wong,
钱并不是万能的
money is not the most powerful thing in the world.
钱不是万能的
It isn't...
不过没钱 就很头痛了
But it's important.
你不是我老公
You are not my husband.
我没说 我是你老公啊
I haven't said I was you husband.
诶 他明明是你老公啊
He is your husband.
我不认识他
I won't forgive him!
鬼混 鬼混 混得人都糊涂了
You just go fooling around, that made you crazy!
诶 说话啊
Speak something.
说什么
What?
我什么都不记得了嘛
What? I lost my memory.
她是你老婆诶
She is your wife.
我不是
No.
我没说过 你是啊
I didn't say yes.
诶...夫妻两个 床头吵了 床尾和嘛
You are couple anyway, forget his mistake.
回家Say good night 就天下太平了
You, go and flatter her, then it'd be alright.
我才不带他回去呢
I won't go home with him.
我是来看他 死了没有
I come and see whether he is dead or not.
我老婆很漂亮诶 我记得
I have light memory that, my wife is rather pretty.
嗯 难道她不漂亮吗
She is pretty.
你说呢
What do you think?
她虽然不漂亮 但真是你老婆啊
Although she is not pretty, she is your wife.
对不起啊 警察又骗人了
I am sorry, police can't tell lies.
我老婆身材 很正点呢 我听说
My wife is having nice body.
她身材 不正点吗
She has nice figure too.
我老婆 她是不穿内裤的
My wife doesn't wear underwear.
我刚刚把了她 没穿内裤啊
I have just seen that she hasn't worn the underwear.
我猜的
I just guess...
你这个死鬼诶
Damn it,
说你笨嘛 你又不笨
you are not crazy at all.
嘴巴倒像抹了油似的 叫人好气又好笑
You have sharp tongue!
诶 好了
Well,
你们回家再决定 好气还是好笑吧
Well, go home now. Come on.
你敢命令我
Are you telling me?
我已经忍了你很久了 你这什么态度啊
What kind of behaviour of you?
老公掉了 就来报警
You reported of missing a husband,
老公找到了 又不安静
you come and fool us after your husband is found.
再吵 我把你们 全部抓到深圳
I'd better take you back to shenzhen!
在深圳 关上你一年半载的 我看你静不静
You know, we can lock you up for few months without any trial.
看看看 看他干什么 你要看着我的
What are you looking? You are impolite. Look at me.
他能保你 多久啊
How long can he protect you?
九七年七月 连他也要抓回去
In July 1997, I will arrest him too.
你是谁啊
Who are you?
啊 大陆公安呐 怎么样
The security officer of China. So what?
啊... 你看来很眼熟哦
You look familiar,
什么时候去大陆的
when did you go back to China?
没去过啊
I haven't!
没去过
Never?
你好像 欠国家很多钱的 那个商业罪犯咯
You seem to be the commercial criminal who stole money from government.
诶 小子
Hey, Pal,
快点帮我叫一部车来
Hurry up and call a car for me,
全部都给我抓回去 还有他
I want to take them back to shenzhen now. Including him!
啊 我
Me?
你干什么 是不是不合作
Don't be big mouth,
想破坏 安定繁荣的社会啊
do you want to interrupt the peace?
小心 我把你老母 抓回去
I will arrest you, don't you believe? Damn it!
哎哟 还好只抓我老母 不抓我
I am sorry! Excuse me please.
说完了没有啊 我你老母的 我好困啦
Have you finished? Damn it. I am sleepy.
诶 不要乱说话 你不是我老母
Don't be big mouth.
来来来 困了 就回去睡觉
Go home to sleep if you feel sleepy.
诶... 你们不要走啊 诶
Don't go!
走了 走了
Let's go
照本子办事 来来 枪呢 枪呢
where is my gun?
走吧 她走了 不是更好吗
Just let them go.
你看随便唬唬 就唬走了 小子
Bull shit works, see?
诶 敢叫我小子
How dare you be so impolite to me?
知不知道 你被炒鱿鱼了
You know, you are suspended.
再冒充警察 我马上抓你
If you pretend to be police again, I'll ask someone to arrest you.
诶 你凶什么
Don't be so cocky.
我是冒充公安的 你叫公安来抓我啊
I pretended as Chinese security officer, ask them to arrest me!
诶...你再吵
You...
再吵 我就真的去考个公安咯
Stop it. Or I will go & apply to be the Chinese security officer,
97年再来 把你老母炸了 当猪油
and I will take revenge in 1997. You go to hell!
哎哟 还好我老母吃素 没油啊
Luckily, I am a catholic, I will go to heaven.
少爷
Young master!
哇
Wow...
哇
Wow.
哇个屁啊 这是你家
It's your house, what makes you surprise?
我得了失忆症嘛
I have lost my memory.
失忆症 了不起啦
So what?
我没有说 我了不起啊
I don't mean it.
你知不知道 她是谁啊
Do you know who she is?
阿妈
My mom.
少爷 你干嘛骂我啊
You mistook it.
妈你个逼啊
Shit.
她是我们的日本管家 罗芳册子
She is toiletpapa. Our housekeeper.
茅房厕纸
What? She is toilet paper?
那是她的日本名字
It's a Japanese name.
- 哦 - 爸爸
- Oh. - Daddy.
爸爸
Daddy.
诶 乖儿子
My dear son...
- 爸爸 - 诶嘿 好 乖儿子 乖儿子
Good boy, I miss you so much!
诶 你不该啊
Damn it!
他是园丁的儿子
He is the son of the gardener.
那他为什么叫我爸爸
He greeted me daddy.
他见了谁 都叫爸爸的 叫人啦
He greets everyone as daddy. Greet us.
爸爸…
Daddy...
你回来就好
I am glad you are back.
你知不知道 他是谁啊
Do you know who he is?
是不是 做咖喱的
Is he the cook who makes curry?
他是你老爸呀
He is your dad.
乖儿子
Good boy.
老爸
Daddy.
你回来 就好了
It's good to see you again.
你知不知道 他是谁啊
Do you know who he is?
大概是园丁之类的人吧
May be a gardener.
他是你奶妈啊
Your baby sitter.
奶妈
What?
少爷 要不要我沏杯奶给您喝
Master, do you want to have milk?
不用了 我没胃口
Why not later?
你知不知道 它是谁啊
Do you know who he is?
不会是我的弟弟吧
I don't think he is my brother.
正是啊
Sure he is.
你一向把它 当弟弟看待的
You always treat him as your brother.
噢 讲清楚啊
I see.
你快点叫它
Call its name,
否则 它就扑上来咬你呢 我告诉你
or it will bite you.
它叫什么名字啊
What name is it?
魅妞啊
Use your brain!
魅妞 魅妞 魅溜
Dolly...
傻妞 胖妞 加上老妞 马妞 臭妞 小妞
David, Peter, Maria, Rose, gigo...
铁妞 万梓良 吴孟达…
Gigio Armani, Valentino...
王晶 周星驰 啊...
Wong jing, ng man tat, Gordon chan...
哎呀
Ah.
这条狗 早该送去 安乐死了
This dog should be killed.
这条狗 叫做魅妞
It's called Dolly law!
是你自己不记得 人家的名字的嘛
You forget its name.
诶 我叫了它 很多声魅溜呢
I said Dolly many times.
是魅妞的妞 不是魅溜的溜啊
No, it's called Dolly law. Not Dolly.
就差那个妞字
You should mention it's surname law.
难怪它老咬着 我的屁股不放
That's why it didn't obey me.
- 少爷 - 嗯
- Young master. - Yes.
兽医来了
The vet has arrived.
哪条狗 要拔牙
Which dog should I draw its teeth?
这条
This way.
麻烦你了 医生
Thank you, doctor.
不要这么大声呐
Lower your voice.
平常一按摩 你就不睡觉的
You always fall asleep when doing massage to you.
你今天 唉什么唉啊
But why are you so excited today?
我不是唉啊 我是哈
I don't know why.
哎 你不要扳到这种地步吧
Don't pull so hard, ok?
少爷 你平常最喜欢这一招了
Young master, but you love it.
真的吗
You mean it?
是啊
Yes.
那就照旧吧
Forget it.
诶 这张照片挂了这么多年了 还有什么好看的
Why are you interested in this old picture?
我有失忆症
I have lost my memory.
失忆症 了不起啊
So what?
不是 我了不起
I don't mean it.
我是在看为什么穿条内裤
I wonder! Why did I take
拍这么奇怪的照片 真是怪胎
such picture with an underwear only!
没有理由啊
Why?
嗨呀 你好意思说呢
Hi, what do you mean?
求了你半天 你才穿上条内裤的
It's me who begged you to wear it!
本来你什么 都不肯穿
You refused to wear anything at first.
你还说那样子才性感
You wanted to be sexy.
看你一脸不满意的死相啊
You didn't satisfy with it at all.
啊 看不出 他会是这种人
I can't imagine he is that kind of person.
啊
What?
我是说 我想不起来 我是这种人
I have lost my memory.
要不是你的样子 像透了他
If not judging from your look,
我还真有点 怀疑你呢
I suspect that you're fake.
怀什么疑呀
What? Are you suspecting me?
我什么都不记得了嘛
I told you I lost my memory.
告诉我失踪以前 我说过什么 做过什么
Actually what did I tell you before I lost?
谁知道 你说过什么 做过什么啦
I don't know.
厕子
Toiletpapa.
- 厕子 - 叫她干什么
- Toiletpapa. - What are you calling her for?
叫她放水 给你洗澡啊
To prepare for your bath.
人家早就睡觉了
She has slept.
少爷 有何吩咐啊
What do you want, master?
你怎么神出鬼没的 啊
You always appear so suddenly!
- 少奶奶 少爷说我神出鬼没 - 啊
- Madam, she said I appeared so suddenly. - Yes.
这屋子里人 全都神出鬼没的
It's the usual practice of everybody in this house.
不要以为只有你们 才会神出鬼没的
I know how to appear in a sudden too.
皮痒
What are you doing?
诶
Hello,
诶 黎警司呀
officer lai,
我是汤茱迪呀
I am Judy tong.
- 你说不说 - 什么事
What's the matter?
你替我找到的老公 不是我的老公啊
You have found me the husband, he is not my husband.
诶 薄一点 薄一点啊
Thinner, make it thinner.
你怎么知道 他不是你老公啊
How do you know that?
他谁都不认识了呀
He knows nothing
抱着园丁的儿子 当自己的儿子
about my family.
他被狗咬了呢 还有啊
He was bitten by our dog.
我叫他去洗澡 他就真的乖乖地去洗澡了耶
I asked him to bath, he did it.
他一年呢 只洗四次澡的呀
But he bathed only 4 times a year before.
结婚的时候
He was pushed
我求了他一个礼拜 他都不肯去洗啊
to take a bath before our wedding.
哦 呵
Ah.
哦 我们在拘留所给他洗澡 他洗上瘾了
We asked him to take bath in the detention centre, he addicted to it.
诶 我告诉你喔
Hey,
他真是你老公啊 你要对他好一点
he is your real husband. Treat him nicely,
否则 我一定不会放过你的喔
otherwise, I won't let you go.
诶 你怎么这样说 你是不是黎警司啊
Are you officer lai? How can you talk like this?
不是黎警司 难道是黎明啊
I am not officer lai? Don't you think I am Leon lai?
找死
Go to hell.
喂 你的声音 不像他
It doesn't seem to be your voice.
刚才 那不是我的声音
You're right.
真是欠K
You deserve severe punishment.
陈警司
Officer chan.
王太太 有何贵干
What's the matter?
我家里的老公 不是我的老公
I don't think my husband is my husband.
我不明白 请讲清楚一点
I don't understand.
你们的黎警司啊 帮我找到老公了
Officer lai found my missing husband.
跟我的老公 一模一样啊
He looks like my husband.
但是 我回到家里 我才发现
But,
跟我老公 一模一样的老公
I have found that,
那根本就不是 我的老公啊
he isn't my husband.
黎警司 帮你找到的老公
Officer lai has found you a husband
跟你老公 长得一模一样
who is not your husband.
但是 你发现这个老公 不是你那个老公
But you've found that your husband isn't your husband.
他根本就不是 我的老公
He is not my husband.
那你是怀疑 这个类似你老公的物体
So you are suspecting that he is fake although
不是你老公
he is like your husband.
差不多这样
I think so.
那你该找 黎警司啊
You should ask officer lai.
我打过电话 找黎警司了
I have called him.
谁知道 那个不是黎警司的黎警司啊
But, I don't know whether it's officer lai or not,
他说 这个不是我老公的老公呢
he told me that my present husband...
就是我的老公
...is my husband.
一个不是黎警司的黎警司
That officer lai, you don't know whether he is true or not,
假装黎警司 告诉你说
he told you,
这个 不是你老公的老公 是你老公
your present husband is your real husband?
差不多这样
I think so.
诶 我给你个建议啊
I have a suggestion.
你回家去 好好洗个热水澡 再喝杯热牛奶
Go home and take a bath, and drink a cup of hot milk.
明天早上睡醒之后呢 再去找黎警司
Come to see officer lai early tomorrow morning.
就会发现 那个不是你老公的老公啊
Then you will discover that,
砰的一声 就变成你老公了
your husband is your husband again.
连你也怀疑我
Are you suspecting me?
连你也不相信我啊
Don't you trust me?
你以为我是神经呢
Don't you think I am idiot?
差不多是这样
I think so.
嘿呀 他真的是假的呀
He is fake.
我也是假的
I am fake too.
其实 我是刘德华装的
Actually I am Andy lau, I pretended to be officer chan.
今天是年三十晚上 12点半
Now, it's 30 minutes passed 12.
嘿 一点了 大年初一
Oh, it's the first day of the lunar new year.
大家新年快乐 事事如意
Happy new year.
- 你赶快回去吧 啊 - 你干什么 陈警司诶
What are you doing? Officer chan?
- 诶 我还没说完呢 - 拜拜
- That's it, bye bye. - I haven't finished.
拜拜
Bye bye.
你真有两套啊 不愧是我的同期同学啊
You are great, my dear classmate.
诶 恭喜发财 恭喜发财
Kung hei fat choi!
臭小子 我迟早被你害死啊
You are making a dead set at me.
她那么有钱
She is rich,
可以把我们告垮的 你知不知道
she will sue us, you know?
诶 我们是在伸张正义 维持法纪诶
But we are carrying law and justice.
你是强奸正义 目无法纪
You misjudge righteousness!
嚯啊 那么用力戳我 找死
How dare you push me? Go to hell.
啊
Ah.
怎么样
So what?
我用手指戳你 你用拳 我跟你拼了
How dare you hit me? I will kill you!
诶 怎么玩真的
How do you really play?
陈警司啊
Officer chan,
我的打火机 忘了拿
Officer chan, I have lost my lighter.
你怎么有 黑眼圈呢
Why your eyes are so black?
哦嘿 睡眠不足啊 当然有黑眼圈了
I don't have enough sleep, that's it.
哦 王太太 恭喜发财啊 万事如意…
Mrs. wong, kung hei fat choi.
大吉大利啊 学业进步 青春永驻
Good luck, good bye.
总之是 恭喜发财啊
Anyway, happy anything to you.
哎呀 净碰见疯子
All are crazy!
什么声音啊
What kind of noise is it?
干嘛
What are you doing?
你干什么
What are you doing?
- 你请我 当你助手的 对不对 - 对啊
- You are my boss, I am your assistant, don't you forget? - Yes.
你叫我带着喷子 24小时保护你 对不对
You asked me to protect you, right?
对啊
Sure.
我都做到了
I have done what you've instructed.
可是我没有叫你 锯穿人家天花板啦 大哥
I haven't told you to cut the ceiling of others.
啊
Yes.
对喔 你没有说过
Yes, you didn't!
哎 走了 蠢蛋
Go away, you idiot.
我在这里 不用你保护了 你快走吧
I don't need your protection.
我不能走
But, I can't leave,
我要留下来 看着你
But, I've to watch over you,
会不会 对不起我表妹
to stop you from betraying my cousin.
少奶奶 你回来了
- Here you are, madam. - Yes.
茱迪汤回来了 你快躲起来
Judy is back, go now.
哦
Oh.
糟糕 楼下的肥婆回房间了 怎么办
Shit, a fatty has gone into the room, what shall I do?
回来了 回来了 上哪去了
Are you back? Where have you gone?
嗯 没有啊 我出去吃了碗馄饨面
I just went out to eat noodle.
哦 吃碗馄饨面 是吧
Noodle?
- 诶 是啊 - 太好了
- Yes. - Very good.
为了完成任务
In order to finish my mission,
唯有发挥我 玉树临风的魅力
I have to flatter her.
然后施展 眉目传情大法
I want to tempt her,
引她说出真相
and make her tell me the truth.
为了问出真相
To find out the truth,
我要发挥我自己 风华绝代的魅力
I should flatter him.
撕开他的假面具
I want him to disclose his real identity.
茱迪
Judy!
百万
Million.
茱迪
Judy!
王百万
Million.
对不起 今天我有点累了
Sorry, I am tired.
我还是到书房去睡好了
I am going to sleep in the study room.
仁慈的上帝啊
My god,
求你赐一个 精壮的男人
My god, please give me a strong man.
到我梦中
Ask him to enter my dream,
阿里嘎多(谢谢你)
thank you.
真的好粗壮啊
Really strong.
连衣服都脱了
He is already undressed.
谢谢上帝 谢谢上帝
Thank god...
我来啦
I am coming.
少爷 少奶奶 下来了
Master and madam are coming down.
恭喜少爷 一本万利 龙马精神 大吉大利啊
Congratulations. Happy new year...
好
Always lucky...
- 大家恭喜啊 - 谢谢少奶奶
- Here is the red pocket. - Thanks.
诶 你快点发红包啊
You give them lucky money too.
我红包没有带诶 你借我几个吧
I haven't brought them with me, give me some.
诶 来... 来啊
Here is the red pocket.
好 恭喜啊 恭喜
Congratulations.
- 恭喜发财 - 谢谢少爷
- Congratulations. - Thank you.
大吉大利
Always lucky.
谢谢少爷 谢谢少爷
Thank you.
喂...你结过婚了吧 是吧
You are married.
- 诶 是啊 我是结过婚了 - 还给我先 你的呢
- I'm married. - Give it to me, where is yours?
可是我还没结婚呢
I am not married.
你拿的是我的
You have mistaken. It's mine.
你的在少奶奶那边
Yours will be sent by madam.
哇 那边一个人 发两个红包
See, they have got two per head.
这下发达了
That's good.
诶 恭喜 恭喜
Congratulations.
哦哈 黎警司
Officer lai.
- 不成敬意 不成敬意 - 你好 黎警司
- This is for you... - Officer lai.
哇 还带这么大的礼物来啊
That's very kind of you.
来探望王翁嘛 当然要花点钱了
I should send you some present.
黎警司啊 恭喜发财啊
Kung hei fat choi!
别这么说啊 我们不能发财的
No, we can't be "fat choi".
一发财 廉政公署就要请去喝咖啡了
Because icac would suspect us if we get any extra money.
哦 那就 步步高升啦
Well, wish you to be promoted.
诶 这么做可以 这么做可以
That's good.
诶 王翁 你没事吧
Mr. wong, are you fine?
哦呀 这个头受伤了 总要点时间休息
You'd take a rest...
- 才能恢复 - 是啊 是啊
- ...for your head's hurt. - Yeah!
啊 对了 你们先聊会儿
Yes, take a seat,
我去拿年糕 给你们吃
I will fetch you some cake.
好 好 好
Good.
诶 坐下
Hey, Let's sit down.
怎么样 查到什么没有
How is it? What have you found?
我已经使出美男计 打算牺牲色相
I tried to seduce her, I won't mind sacrifice.
还是 套不出什么来
But I can't get anything.
喂
Hey,
我看你还是 另请高明吧
Why don't you find another one?
- 你找死呀 - 厕子啊 倒茶
- Do you want me to kill you? - Give us some tea.
是 少爷
Yes, master.
我连炒鱿鱼那个家伙 都找来帮你的忙了
I have given you an assistant who is suspended.
再找不到 真凶的话
If you can't get me the real murderer,
你干脆 切腹自尽算了
you'd suicide in front of me.
只怕我还没切腹 就已经先挂了
But I am afraid that I would be killed.
谁那么大胆
Who dares kill you?
喂 他是谁啊
Who?
诶 穿貂皮 哎呀
Wearing mink skin, Oh.
妞来啦
A woman!
新年快乐 我的朋友
Happy new year! My best friend.
哇 这女人 怎么光个头啊
Your girlfriend is bald.
- 我的兄弟 新年快乐 - 喂
- My brother. Amigo. Happy new year. - Hello!
找哪位啊 先生
Who are you looking for?
大岳
Taior!
茱迪
Judy!
诶哎 茱迪
Hey, Judy,
百万秀逗了 连我都不认识啦
Judy, what's wrong with million? He can't recognize me.
还记得一点点儿 他是大岳嘛
I do, you are taior, right?
不对 你从来不叫我大岳的
No, you never called me like this.
我该叫我什么 说
What did you call me before?
- 说啊 - 说
Speak up.
是不是叫 大富大贵啊
Isn't it "damn you"?
大富大贵
Damn you?
大富大贵 可不是大富大贵啊
That's right, you fool!
- 猪头三 - 不是啊
- Idiot. - That's right, you fool!
不是大富大贵 那就是猪头三了
You mean "fool"?
不是 我是大富大贵 猪头三
No, I am "damn you", you are fool!
噢 你是猪头三呐
Yo u are "f ool"?
你是猪头的三
You are "fool"!
你是大富大贵了
Are you "fool"?
他才是大富大贵啊
He is "damn you"!
不是啊 她不是大富大贵
Right, damn you!
她是大富大贵 你是猪头三
Oh, you are damn you, and you are fool.
哎呀
Ah,
听好了 别搞那么复杂了
Make it simple.
全部都叫 王九蛋
Just call "scumbag" together.
- 哎 大过年的 - 怎么这么说话呢
How can you talk like this at the beginning of new year?
把嘴呸干净 再说
Say it again.
- 准呢 - 准呢
- Damn it. - You are great!
- 哎...对不起 - 这痞子 哪冒出来的
- Sorry… - Who is that scumbag?
他就是帮我 找到王百万的 那个黎警司啊
He is officer lai who found my husband back.
哦
Oh,
我呢 一向很少跟这种 低级的小警员来往
I am not used to stay with such junior police officers.
我的迪斯科啊 今天晚上新开张 啊
My disco is newly opened.
两位一定要早点来哦
You should come earlier tonight.
那里面 有好多美女啊
I have asked many girls to join us.
诶 最合你的胃口了
You love it.
你说什么
What did you say?
开玩笑的嘛
Kidding.
哎呀 糟了 忘了给我老头拜年了
Shit, I forgot to visit my daddy.
诶 令尊翁他…
How is your daddy?
他已躺在安灵园 乐呵了
He died.
- 哦 那你赶快去吧 - 那我先走了 各位再见
I am hurrying to worship him. See you tonight.
- 待会见 - 拜拜
Bye bye.
不送了啊
See you.
嘿嘿
Hey hey.
他是王百万从小到大的死党
He is the best friend of million wong.
整天想霸占他的家产 嫌疑最大了
He always wants to seize wong's property. He is worth suspecting.
茱迪 你粘着两撇胡子 太嚣张了吧
Judy, you look weird.
不服气吗 你也可以粘啦
Do you want it?
女人嘛 还用得着追吗
It's not necessary to court a woman.
浪费时间啦
It's just a waste of time.
有钱就有女人
Where there's money there's woman.
拿点钱 砸到她躺下来
I will pay her money so that she would listen to me.
再拿点钱 砸到她爱我
I will pay her more money to make her love me.
钱 就像白粉一样 会上瘾的
Money's just drugs, one will be hooked on it.
诶 那你的白粉 可最多了
In that case, you got loads of drugs?
最近又泡上哪个女明星了
Which movie star are you courting lately?
诶 最近不泡女明星 我换胃口了
Have a change, not film stars now.
专泡那些刚刚出道 还在做梦的女强人
To court those working girl.
真过瘾咯
That really turns me on.
怎么个过瘾法啊
Really?
诶
Oh,
我昨天 钓上个马子 开花店的
The one yesterday I courted owns a florist shop.
真巧啊
Small world!
我今天泡的那个马子 也是开花店的
Small world! The one I had also owns a florist shop.
我明天约的马子 也是开花店的
The girl I am going to date tomorrow is having one as well.
请问一下 是哪家花店
Which florist shop is it?
诶
Oh,
你也想来排队啊
What, you want to join the queue?
请示过老婆没有啊
Have you got your wife's permission?
不用看我啊 我这人很民主的
Don't look at me! You can do anything you like.
百万他想逢场作戏嘛
He wants to have fun too.
我不会在乎的
I couldn't care less.
我跳舞去了啊
I'm going to dance.
不许碰我的头
Stop fussing about my head.
诶 大富大贵 教两招 教两招嘛
I just want to know
你说的开花店那个妞 怎么个正点法啊
how nice is that florist shop owner.
怎么个正点法呀 我是不会形容了
I don't know how to describe.
总之她是 眼睛大大的
Anyway, she's got big eyes,
诶 鼻子 高高的
pointed nose,
嘴巴小小的
sexy lips,
哇 双峰插云
a pair of nice tits,
够了 这个哇 她叫什么名字啊
What's her name?
啊 这个啊
Damn!
我泡那么多妞 哪全记得呢
Damn! I just couldn't remember.
嗯 Ada 不对 不对
Ada? No.
诶 Patty 不对 不对
Patty? No.
Cindy 不对不对
Cindy? No.
总之啊 她床上功夫 可是一流的
Anyway she's great on bed.
从床头搞到床尾 从床尾搞到床头
From the bed to the floor,
从床上搞到地下 从客厅搞到厨房
from the floor up to the bed,
从厨房 再搞到客厅
from the bed to the kitchen...
哇呀 实在有够贱啦
She is so cheap!
真是好贱呐
It's really cheap.
还有啊 我听那马子说啊
Another thing, she said,
她有个固定到站的 是当警察的
the boyfriend she's going to dump is a police as well.
那马子在哪里 快介绍我认识先
Where's she? I want her now!
干嘛那么猴急呢
Cool it!
我约了她 待会你就见到了嘛
We had a date, she'll be here in a minute.
- 是吗 - 是呀
- Really? - Sure.
- 太好了 我补个妆去先 - 好...
- Let me make up first. - Okay...
来真
Really?
宝贝 给我一个吻
Baby! Give me a kiss.
- 咦 下流 - 痛啊
- So cheap! - So pain!
宝贝 给我一个吻
Baby! Give me a kiss.
好啊
Alright!
下流
So cheap!
你干什么
What's up now?
我找人
Just looking for somebody.
茱迪 有美女 也不介绍一下
Judy, why don't you introduce the beauty to me?
茱迪
Judy!
大贵 你跟我抢个什么正面
Son of a bitch! Stop pushing!
你有美女 也不介绍给兄弟我认识
You keep the birds
还跟我抢
You want to hurt me?
这到哪也说不过去吧 你
You have had enough fun!
慢慢排队吧 你
Take your time queuing up, you.
茱迪
Judy!
嗨
Hi!
啊 文静啊 我来给你介绍啊
Let me introduce, she is called ching,
她是我公司里 得力助手程文静
she is our right hand,
这位是 王先生
this is Mr. wong.
我已经见过王先生了
We met before.
- 诶 是呀 是呀 - 公司里 要是没有文静啊
- Yeah! - I can't imagine how troublesome if ching leaves my company.
- 真不知道 该怎么办 才好了呢 - 那绝对没办法
- We don't know what to do. - That's absolutely impossible
我不打扰二位了
I won't bother you.
诶 怎么会呢 再聊会吧
Why not a chat?
- 拜拜 - 诶 拜拜啊
- Bye bye. - Bye bye.
看个屁啊 你
What are you looking?
整天就会泡妞啊 你
You always love watching girls.
不泡点妞 你要我干什么
What else am I going to do?
走 陪我跳舞去
Have a dance with me.
你在找谁呀
Who are you looking for?
在找一个人
Just looking for someone.
找刚才那个妞吗
The bird you're with?
不是
No.
有没有撒谎
Did you tell lies?
没有
No.
你可不可以 专心地陪我 跳支舞啊
Can you concentrate and dance with me?
你们两个 偷偷在亲热啊
How sweet are you two!
你上哪儿去了啊
Where've you been?
那个马子来了 本来想介绍给你
- My girl had come, I was going to introduce you to her.
她人呢
Where?
已经走了
She's left!
等以后有机会 再这个…
Never mind, make it next time.
- 他头发 还蛮有型的 - 是
- What a nice hair style. - Yes.
我很欣赏他
I admire it.
大鼻妹 我们今天晚上要开派对 你也有份呢
We are having a party tonight, are you coming?
还呆这里 干什么
Go and search
快带几个马子来啊
more girls to join us.
好啊
Fine!
好什么
What are you doing?
没什么 我在想以前的事情
Nothing, I remember something.
来 我们来玩点新鲜的
Why not play something new?
新鲜的
New?
我们今天晚上 要开派对
We are having a party tonight,
你也有份呢 大鼻妹
you must come, Big nose.
还呆在那边 干什么
Why are you standing here?
哎呀 你有点笑容 行不行啊
Stop frowning,
你家里死人了啦
smile.
我们今天晚上 要开派对
We are having a party tonight,
你也有份呢 大奶妹
you must come. Big busts.
大鼻妹妹啊
Big nose.
诶...对不起啊 诶
Sorry.
我们今天晚上 要开派对
We are having a party tonight,
大鼻妹 你也有份咯
Big nose, you must come.
你还呆在那边干什么 快找几个马子来呀
Why are you standing here, go and get more girls to join us.
停 做得好
Cut! Very good.
真难做
What a job.
诶...你到我房间 来干嘛呀
Why do you come into my room?
我妈快回来了耶
My mom will be back soon.
你妈
Your mom?
我只告诉她 你是来帮我补习的呀
I tell her that you are my tutor.
让她知道 她会生气的耶
If she knows it, she'll be furious.
我妈说啊
She told me...
不能随便 让男孩子进我的房间
...not to let boys in.
不能随便 让男孩子亲
No kissing.
不能够随便 跟男孩子 那个了
No... too.
对白轮到我了吗
Is it my turn now?
你说什么
What are you on about?
说什么 我怎么知道说什么
What? I don't know.
你还说你不知道啊 上次露营的时候啊
Remember the camp last time?
三更半夜偷跑进来 亲人家一下
You walked in my camp and kissed me.
噢 那就不亲了
Well, let's stop here,
我到书房睡觉去了啊
I am going back to the study room.
哈...人家就是 想要问你
I just want to know...
今天晚上 为什么不亲了
...why don't you kiss me tonight.
亲过你 是不是就可以到书房 睡觉了
Well, can I go back to the study room after kissing you?
你先亲啊
Give me a kiss first.
上次你亲的 不是这里
Not here!
哇 不是这里 是哪里啊
Where then?
诶 茱迪
Hey, Judy,
做人 不要太得寸进尺啊
Come on Judy, don't go too far.
你好坏
Naughty!
怎么样 坏一下 不行吗
So what?
嗨哟
Ah.
来咯 来咯… 来嘛
Come on...
好啦 来就来
I won't care!
哇
Wow!
你们两个小鬼 找死啊
What are you doing?
哇靠 你也来捞一份啊
Hey, you have a part too.
打死你个臭小子 我打死你们
I want to beat you to death.
你们两个 胡作瞎搞 胡作瞎搞
What are you doing here? How dare you court my girl,
不打死你不行
I want to beat you to death.
你怎么老打我 你怎么不打她呢
Don't just beat me, you should beat her too.
她是导演 不能打的
She is the director, I can't beat her.
我打死你 你竟然敢泡我的女儿
How dare you court my daughter?
还泡上了床
And sleep with her.
你这个臭丫头 不知羞 你不知耻
How dare you!
真丢我们家的脸呢
You make me feel shame.
那是你们的家丑 不可外扬 我走先啊
It's not wise to tell others this scandal. I am leaving.
我顶
Damn it!
你这个臭小子 跪下
You bastard, kneel down.
你这个臭小子
You bastard,
占了我女儿的便宜 还想跑
how dare you seduce daughter!
伯母 这句话要改
You shouldn't put it that way.
我从来不要 便宜货的
But I was pushed to do so!
这种话 你也说得出口啊
How can you talk like this?
你真是没人性啊 玩完就想跑
You are inhuman! You want to leave my daughter alone?
我不玩啦
I'm out.
你照着学 照着她学
Do it, go on acting.
你看看
Look,
你看看这个人哪 没人性 没心肝啦
Look, he is heartless!
我可不管了 我去跟你老爸说
I must go and tell your dad.
你们下个月就结婚
You are getting marry next month.
啊 又结
Marry?
- 不好吗 - 不好吗
- No? - are you going to marry?
好了 结就结 动作快点啊
Ok, make it quick!
这就对了嘛
That's good, hurry up!
以后啊 你们两个人 要好好地做人
You should be good from now on.
我还有事 不管你们了
I am busy, Excuse me. C860
- 你啰里啰嗦 快点啦 - 你们爱怎么样怎么样
- Go, hurry up! - You can do whatever you want.
诶 妈答应我们结婚了 继续吧
My mom approves to let us get married.
- 还没玩完呢 - 还来
- What? - Again?
诶... 时间到了 该收工了
Time's up, game over!
我们分房睡这么久了 你一直没找过我
You haven't noticed me since we slept in separate rooms.
你外面有多少女人 我也从来没管过你
I've never said a word about all those women you had.
我只要你一晚上诶
I want you for just tonight!
这样都不行吗
Can I?
这样都不行吗
Can I?
你怎么都变成这样子
Why not?
为什么
Why?
你不要哭了
Stop crying,
我不是那种人 我很专一的
I'm not the type. I am a loyal man.
再说一次
What's that again.
我说 我这个人 很专一的
I am a loyal husband.
老婆 我只要一个 就够了
I am a loyal husband. I want only one wife.
快说 你爱我
Just tell me you love me.
我爱你
I love you.
再说一次
Again.
我爱你
I love you.
抱紧我
Hold me tight.
看什么 混蛋
Stop staring!
看你怎么还没给人 撞死啊
I wish you would be run over by the car.
转身 转身
Give us a twirl.
卧你老母啊 还真骚啊 居然穿花袜子
Damn you! You are so cocky to wear the patterned socks.
干什么 小子
What do you want?
捡东西啊 老子
Just to pick up something.
干吗 小子
What do you want, twit?
捡东西呀 老子
Just to pick up something.
你在干什么呀 扫地啊 快进来吧
What are you doing? Get back inside. Would you?
我在捡铜板嘛
Nothing, just pick up the coins.
喝红豆汤
Come and eat the red bean sweet soup.
- 来 - 啊
- Come on. - Ah。
今天 怎么没什么生意啊
Not much business today?
新开张 是这样的
Not so good, because it's newly opened.
不见得吧
Kidding?
我听说昨天 有好多人来找你啊
Quite a few of peoples came for you yesterday.
是 你又知道了
Oh yeah, how do you know?
诶 你的痣呢
Where is your mole?
- 哎呀 在这里 - 诶 好诶 嘿
- Here. - Bravo!
我的红豆汤 很好喝啊
This is nice.
你不觉得 太硬了
Don't you think it's chewy?
一颗很硬
Just one.
当然啦 连我的痔都吞了
Of course, that's my mole.
啊
What?
痔做红豆汤 也这么好喝啊
Does it taste better with the mole in it?
你们慢慢聊 我先走了
You two go on, I just go out for a minute.
你去哪里啊
Where are you going?
替人家 送花给老婆啊
To deliver flowers to someone's wife.
哪像你啊 既没人 又没钱 又没花
Unlike you, you have no money and no flower.
拜拜
See you.
- 你就是这样的 - 你又来干什么啊
- You should be blamed. - What do you want again?
我来喝红豆汤 24小时保护你啊
I come to eat the sweet soup and to protect you.
- 那我走好了 - 诶
- Why don't you stay then. - Wait.
林大岳那帮人 今天晚上要到我家 来赌梭哈
Taior and his gang are coming to play cards tonight.
我想应该可以 查出点线索
I think I can get some clues.
诶 你小子 走狗运了
You are wise...
我号称 警界的梭哈王
...to search for my help.
晚上有我帮你 你一定可以当一票啊
I'll take care of you tonight, because I am the gambling king!
找什么
What are you looking for?
没事
Nothing.
情况如何
How is it?
一切正常
Everything normal.
有没有带钱
Do you have money?
你不知道 我是白头神探咯
You know I am called the gambling king of the police department?
你有白头发
I don't think so!
白吃白喝的头号神探啦
You will know it later.
- 诶 - 嗯
- Hey, - What?
王兄 你的痣呢
Mr. wong, where is your mole?
诶 点掉了
Removed.
那是富贵痣
But it brings you wealth.
是嘛
Really?
啊 因为我钱太多了 所以想减少一点
Because I have much money, I don't want more!
好辞 好辞
It's very wise of you!
好
So well.
那我们就照老规矩了
Let's follow the old rules.
什么老规矩啊
What?
赌现金啊
Gamble in cash.
噢 那是当然的了 当然
Sure! Sure!
最多加二十万
Maximum credit is $200,000.
哇 真是零钱咯
Isn't it the change?
全部家当
This is all I have.
一万块全下了 王先生
Mr. wong, $10,000 as base.
黑桃八诶
It's an eight.
小九 也能说话
A nine can have the 1st call.
五万好了
Make it $50,000.
怎么办
How is it?
五万再加十五万
$150,000 more.
一定唬住他们
We'll get rich if we get all the base only.
哦 好 是吗
I see.
跟啦
Follow.
怎么 没零钱了
But you should show us the money.
零钱呢
Where is the change?
零钱
Change?
诶 那个谁啊
Hey, over there...
我去找那个谁 你坐到
I'll go and take the money, sit here.
老婆 拿个百八十万 来顶一顶先
Honey, give me few millions.
诶 我们一向都是 各赌各的
We have separate account, you know?
你家里不是还有 三千万的现金吗
But you have 30 million cash put inside the house.
我忘记放哪儿了嘛
I have forgot where it is.
你那么聪明 一定会想起来的 嗯
You will remember, you're smart.
- 诶 不是的 - 打哪个好啊
What should I do?
打这张
Get rid of this.
- 真的 - 是啊 输了算我的
- Really. - Yes. Trust me.
九筒
Nine circles.
哎呀 我胡了 胡了
- Bingo! - Me too.
一炮三响
Me too.
死鬼
Damn you!
黎Sir在哪里啊
Where is Li Sir?
在CID房里爽呢
Having fun in CID room
小王八羔子 我打死你
You bastard!
我还有重要事情 跟你商量
What's the matter?
什么事 比我打人重要
Can't you see I'm hitting someone?
还要两百万块钱 很急的
I want you to give me 2 million for gambling.
要两百万 说没搞错
Are you kidding?
好小子 敢偷袭我
How dare you counter attack?
这两百万块钱 你无论如何 不能省
You should give me 2 million.
我哪来两百万现金给你啊
How can I get 2 million for you?
大岳 要到我们家来赌钱
Taior comes for gambling,
如果没有钱的话 就穿帮了
if I've no money, our secret will be disclosed.
那大家 就都玩完了
Then we will be in deep shit!
快点拿来吧
Hurry up.
你先放手啊
You go first.
那你答应了 我就放手
You promise me to let go.
你去市场买东西哟
Where have you gone?
不好意思啊 我的零钱乱扔
I am sorry, I went to get some money.
结果被工人捡回去了
The money is not well kept.
工人又住得好远
I put it inside the maid's room which is in yuen long.
说那么多干嘛 都在等你啊
Cut the crap, we are waiting for you.
发牌
Deal cards.
发牌
Deal cards.
八一对说话
A pair of 8, it's your turn to call.
这样啊 我梭
I want to show…, So... I'm all
再熬一阵子啊
Hold it, just to tempt them.
我们先下少一点
Nothing special,
先下二十万啦
Nothing special, just $200,000.
二十万
$200,000?
再加八十万
Plus $800,000
跟了
Fallow.
三条八诶
3 eights.
不用说了 全扔出去
No hesitation, just show hand.
报纸呢
Newspaper?
全都扔出去
Throw it out, too
三条八
3 eights?
哼 没多少钱嘛
Shit, it's not much!
跟
Follow!
不跟
I quit.
我三条A
I have 3 aces.
我就不信 你有四条八
I don't believe you four eight
赢钱 不必那么激动
Don't be that nervous.
老兄弟 别哭啊
Don't cry, pal!
我四条八
4 eights.
怎么回事啊 我刚才底牌 明明是八的
Why? I have had an eight!
你走前的那一把啊
The round you had before you left.
当然啦
But
现在不是那一把的了
we have played many rounds after that.
你没告诉我啊
You didn't tell me.
你也没有问我啊
You didn't ask me.
回来了 赢了还是输了
You are back? Win or lose?
你看我的头 就知道了
You can tell from my head.
输光了
A great loser.
你不是说 你是赌王吗
You said you are the king of gambling.
我有说过吗 我
I didn't mention it.
我提过一下
I have mentioned it.
你
You...
那现在 怎么办呢
What'll we do now?
你再拿一百万来翻本啦
Give me 1 more million to gamble again.
我马上发挥 我赌王的本色
I will show them my real power.
啊 还想要拿一百万啦
You want 1 million more?
我把警察局的赃款和保释金全都拿去
What I gave you was the money
给你们两个赌去了
from the bailing account.
现在人家到警察局来讨债啦
Now, we are asked to return the money.
你们不把两百万 拿回来的话
If you don't give us back the money.
就买好船票 准备跑路吧
You should be in fugitive!
那你先借我一点钱 让我买船票
Please lend me money for the tickets.
啊...你...
You...
- 如果不拿一百万出来 我们就完蛋的了 - 懒得理你们
- Give us one million more. Or we'll be in deep shit! - You idiot!
诶...
Hey...
诶 喂
Hey,hey.
这一百万 要再输了 怎么办呢
What would you do if you lose that again?
反正都是死 就再赌一下嘛
Anyway, let's take risk.
老兄 我们也是混饭吃的
Why do you beat me? I am making a living only.
别打了
Whom are you hitting?
又在扁两个衰鬼啊
A racketeer.
在扁两个老千呢
A racketeer.
嘿 老千这么尊贵的人 怎么能乱打
Why don't you respect such decent professionals?
他们骗了人家 两万块钱
He cheated $2.
哪个白痴 被他们骗了
Who is cheated by him?
那个白痴 就是我
It's me.
连白痴都骗 扁他
Hit him
扁了
Hit him
啊 赌圣克星 洪爷
What? The greatest enemy of the Saint of gambling: Master hung!
Hello 你好吗
Hello, How are you?
好你个头啊 输到准备跑路了
Well, what lost to escape
老兄 你叫他们别打我们
Pal, ask them not to beat me.
我教你老千速成法 保你赢
I will teach you how to cheat on the gambling table.
行 不过要先露两手来瞧瞧
But, show me something first.
有没有搞错 还没有回来啊
Kidding! Where has he gone?
十六圈都打完了 还没有回来
We have finished 16 rounds, he hasn't returned!
搞什么鬼啊
What is he doing?
回来了 回来了
He is back!
各位观众
Hey, my dear audience...
这个架势 挺眼熟的
He looks smart!
不知道 你学的是谁啊
He looks familiar.
你猜猜看呐
Who are you acting?
啊 我知道了
Guess.
赌圣
Gambler
错
Wrong.
是大卫魔术
I am acting as David Copperfield.
哇
Wow.
发牌
Deal cards!
我三条K
I have 3 King.
我三条A
I have 3 aces.
我同花顺
My flush.
我大你个同花顺
I'm bigger than your flush
我四条A
4 aces.
我A 五条
5 aces?!
那个家伙 教的这一套 还真灵诶
What master hung taught you are powerful.
赢死他
Win as much as you can.
我要趁这个机会 查出谋杀王百万的真相
Find out the truth about the murder of Wang wanwan
一百万
One million.
跟你
I will follow
A说话
Aces, it's my turn to call.
你输昏了 牌面同花顺说话
You're a fool in the same boat
梭了
Show hand.
我才不相信你是大卫魔术 我照跟
I don't think you're David Copperfield, I will follow.
我...
I...
我只剩五毛了
I have 50 cents left.
欠你五百万
5 million as credit, ok.
不用欠
Forget the money,
只要你回答我一个问题
I want you to answer me a question.
我就当你是跟了
Then I will forget the money.
什么问题呀
What question?
你曾几何时 有没有想过 要杀死我啊
Have you ever thought of killing me?
回答我
Answer me.
我...
I...
回答我 你
You answer me.
不玩了 不玩了
I want to quit!
问些这种问题
Your question is nonsense.
- 走 - 是
- Let's go. - Yes.
不玩了 捞钱了
Just take the money.
钱是赢到手了 真相查到了没有
Have you found the truth of the case?
真相就是…
The truth is...
我的底牌是小四 那个白痴居然不玩了
I had a four only, but the idiot quitted.
大哥 你没事吧
Boss, are you alright?
还钱
Give me back the money.
怎么个还法
Just return the loan.
赢的那些 不用分给你了吧
We needn't give you a share of the money we won!
借钱 不用付利息啊
But you should give interest.
诶
Hey,
就照银行最低的利息 算给他好了
Ok, just follow the bank's rule.
哇 那很少啊 才两厘七五而已
Cheap interest rate, 2.75%.
两百万 除以365天
$2 million is divided by 365.
噢 25块 给你30块 不用找了
Just $25 is charged, keep the change.
再来张 提提神吧
Take one more.
这样多好啊 不伤和气啊
You'd have done that earlier.
查案有没有进展呢
Any progress?
我发现那个茱迪·汤 越来越奇怪
I have found that Judy tong was suspicious.
我想她的背后 一定有个不可告人的秘密
I think she is having a secret.
还有那个林大岳呢
And that taior lam...
太肤浅了
Don't look only at the surface.
我在苏格兰场 受训的时候
When I was trained in Scotland,
曾经研究过 世界所有奇案的案情
I have studied all the extraordinary precedents.
包括 东方快车谋杀案
Including the murdering case of the eastern express.
尼罗河谋杀案
The murdering case of river nile.
电话情杀案
The murdering case from fatal attraction.
国会选举舞弊案 等等等
And the hidden corpse under the stove.
发现了一个 重大的原则
I have found out a principle.
什么原则
What principles?
嫌疑越大的人 越不是凶手
The bigger the suspect, the less likely he is
靠
Shit!
我同意 难道真的像国语里面说的
I agree! It always happens in movies.
最没有嫌疑的 才是凶手
The least suspect is the killer.
可以这么说
You can put it in that way.
凶手可能 表面上不认识死者
the murderer may or may not know the victim.
相貌平凡 不高不矮
the murderer looks common, not high or short,
孔武有力 有暴力倾向
He or she has the inclination of violence acting.
喜欢 随便乱打人
Likes to hit people casually.
极度贪婪
Maybe a money digger,
甚至可能 连三四十块 都不放过
Maybe a money digger, or is greedy for money.
照这么说 那凶手肯定就是你咯
As what you have said, the murderer may be you.
来人啦 抓起来
Man, arrest him.
喳
Yes sir.
哎...诶...
Ah...Hey...
你们疯了 你们 秀逗
Are you crazy?
对不起 长官
Sorry sir.
照我推理 应该是这样的
It's just theory.
我们言归正传
By the way,
你在汤茱迪家 查出什么线索
you can't get any clue from Judy tong's home.
就立刻到办公室 去查查林大岳跟王百万
See whether there're any conflicts between wong & taior in office.
在生意上 有没有过节 而产生杀机
May be they have had quarrel in business which made him kill.
你不是说 最有嫌疑的人 不会是凶手
You said the most suspicious one isn't the murderer.
那是屁话了
It's bull shit,
还不快去查
why don't you go and check now?
让我先去 办几件重要的事情 行不行啊
Let me finish the most important thing first, ok?
爱你三百六十年
Love you 360 years.
岂有此理 根本没把我放在眼里
Damn it, you just forget about me!
谢谢
Thanks.
奸夫淫妇
Bitch and bastard.
奸夫淫妇
Bitch and bastard.
手起刀落
I wanna kill!
刀
Knife?
哇靠
Shit!
门
The door!
随便坐
Taking a seat.
谢谢你送的花
Thank you for the flowers
花袜子
People in fancy socks
不要这样
Don't.
你知道 我有男朋友的
I have boyfriend, you know that.
虽然 他没有什么钱
Although he is poor...
又自私 又小气 又啰嗦
and selfish... He is mean and old fashioned.
不是说我
She doesn't mean it.
可是 他始终是我男朋友
But he is my boyfriend.
我不能接受你
I can't accept you.
诶
Hey,
你不要这样
Don't...
不要啦
Don't!
不要这样 诶
Don't!
我杀你个老母
I will kill you bastard!
是你
It's you?
是你
It's you?
是你
It's you?
其实我说 是要杀 你这个小骚货
Kill you asshole
诶...你不要难为她嘛
Stop it!
你干嘛拿把刀呢 快点放下来了
Hold it,
诶 等等等 听我说先
listen to me first.
我已经 跟踪你很久了
I have tailed you for a long time.
原来 你是来找 这个小狐狸精啊
You come to look for this bitch!
我
Me?
怎么 三根手指头全指着你 还问
Why are you still asking?
你是哪根葱 哪根蒜呢 想跟我王百万抢老婆
How dare you seduce my wife?
- 对啊 - 我现在问你啊
- Right. - Tell me now,
你是爱我 还是爱她呢
Do you love me or her?
哎呀 玩玩的嘛
It's just for fun.
玩玩的嘛 笨蛋 那人家是在玩你的
Just for fun.
狐狸精 蜘蛛精
You fox spirit, you spider spirit
破坏家庭 你要钱了 是吧
You want money, don't you?
好啊 要钱 是吧
Ok, it's just money!
- 来啊 给你啊 - 请你别这样
- Come on... - Don't!
大嫂啊
Oh, Old woman.
拿去啦 拿去呀 拿去呀
Hey, money!
怎么 钱都给你了 你还不滚呢 你
What? You are paid, why don't you leave now?
你们两个
You two...
好 我走
Ok, I am leaving!
诶 阿敏 阿敏
Ah man...
诶 这是你家 你上哪去啊
This is your home, where are you going to?
对呀 这里是我家诶
Yes, this is my home!
诶诶 你们两个滚啦
You two, leave here at once.
快滚
Hurry!
- 阿敏 你不要生气嘛 你听我说 - Shut up
Amin, don't be angry. Listen to me
你还说 到楼下去等我
Wait for me downstairs.
我还要多骂 这小蜘蛛精两句 才开心
I will give this bitch a good lesson.
走了 还看
Go, what do you want?
走就走嘛
I won't give it a damn.
诶 我再一次 严重警告你啊
I warn you seriously!
以后 不许再见 我的老婆
Never see my wife again.
否则 见一次 我K你一次 知道吗
Or I will beat you! Got it?
喂 人家都已经走了 你还在这演戏
She has gone, why do you keep on acting?
刚才 你骂得很过瘾 是吗
Don't you feel it funny?
演戏 当然是这样的嘛
We should act!
你觉得 我刚才演得怎么样啊
Don't you think my acting was good?
烂透了
Poor!
有没有搞错啊 我以前演话剧 得过奖诶
Kidding? I got a prize in drama acting!
你是很烂嘛
But you acted poorly.
我还没问你呢
How could you be
你怎么会 被这个女人泡上的
courted by that woman?
哦
Oh,
我看她人很好啊 又常常来买花
She is nice and she always buys flowers from me.
有空 就陪她逛个街 喝个茶咯
So I date with her when I'm free.
谁知道 她外表是女人 内在是男人呐
I can't tell she is a lesbian!
哎 真没想到 会是她
I can't tell it's her!
诶 人家还在外面等你呢
She is waiting for you.
还不下去
Why don't you go now?
走啦
Go!
等我把这个案子办完了
I will accompany you
我就整天陪着你 好不好
all day after this case, ok?
嗯
Yes.
诶
Hey,
我买了样东西 送给你
I have bought you something.
真的 是什么
What is it?
花袜子
Fancy socks.
烧掉它
Burn it
王先生
Mr. wong,
早
good morning.
啊...早啊
Good morning.
- 你好 - 王先生 早
- Hello - Mr. wong, good morning,
王太不在诶
Mrs. wong is not around.
- 我知道 - 诶 里面停电呢
- I know. - There's no power inside.
没关系
Never mind,
- 我进去拿杯水而已 嘿 - 啊
- Never mind, I just want to fetch a cup of water. - Okay.
哦 今天早上送来的
This is sent in this morning.
什么事呀
What's the matter?
没事 你出去吧
It's find, Get out
你一定有事
There must be some problem with you.
说了没事 就算有 也不关你事啊
Nothing to do with you!
出去
Get lost.
注意
Pay attention.
千万不要用打火机看
Don't light up with the lighter.
什么意思啊
What does it mean?
白兰地啊
It's Brandy.
老板
Boss.
喂
Hello?
大岳啊
Taior?
噢 什么事啊 帅哥
How is it?
你怎么拍到我们的
How did you get my picture?
哦 用照相机拍的啊
By camera.
我已经注意你很久了
I have waited for this chance for ages.
没想到你 还有这种嗜好啊
But I can't imagine you have courted this one.
这些火辣辣的照片
I think the gossip magazines
那些内幕杂志 一定很有兴趣哦
are interested in such pictures.
你小心折寿
You bastard!
啊 我是一定会短命的啦
I don't mind.
所以 要多存点钱 好好享受享受啊
What I want is money.
如果说 你想拿回那些 三点都露的照片
If you want the pictures back,
晚上到公司来
come to my office at 7pm.
你想怎么样
What do you want?
请接消防队 麻烦
Fire station, please.
快说
What's the matter?
这里是消防队
Here is fire station.
说话呀
Who is it?
请问你们 卖不卖雨衣啊
Are there any raincoats for sale?
买雨衣去7-11 混蛋
Go to buy it in department store, damn you!
你骂谁混蛋 你是什么态度啊
Who are you scolding? Who are you?
你是几号接线生
You are so impolite!
你别挂掉啊 喂 喂
Don't you hang up, hey,hey.
你欺人太甚
Yue, you've been deceiving people too much
不来的话 你一定会后悔
You will regret if you don't come.
好啊 不要妨碍我做运动了啊
Don't bother me from doing exercise, see you at 7.
王先生 你怎么了
Mr. wong, what are you doing?
喝水嘛 不是告诉过你了
Drinking, I have told you.
啊 你踩烂了我的晚餐 还有宵夜
You stepped on my food,
你快赔钱来呀
pay it to me.
小姐 找哪位
Miss, who are you looking for?
林大岳先生约我来的
I have a date with Mr. lam.
哦 请跟我来
Follow me please.
进来
Please come in.
请
Please.
我一看到你来 我就爽了
I am so happy to see you.
去把上半年的资料 给我拿来
Give me the file of the 1st 6 months,
任何电话 我都不接
I won't listen to any call.
是
Yes.
请坐
Take a seat.
废话少说
Don't waste time!
你要多少钱呢
How much does it cost…
一次解决 把照片都还给我
...to return the photos to me once
哎呀 你千万不要误会
Don't misunderstand it.
我林大岳 虽然不是很有钱
I am not that rich!
不过十亿八亿 还没放在眼里
But I won't be interested in 10 or more billions.
你以为我想勒索你啊
Don't you think I want to blackmail you?
那好吧 你开价啊
Give me a price.
哎呦 都是老朋友了 谈钱伤感情
It's not good to talk money among good friends.
其实啊 我是要拿钱给你
But I do want to give you money.
啊 我查到了
I have checked...
你家里那个王百万 一定是假的
I have checked that your existing husband is a fake one.
我可以帮你解决 决不留下任何后患
I can kill him for you, but you don't have to take any responsibility.
另外再给你三亿 买你尖沙咀那块地
And, I will give you 3 billion for the land in wanchai.
你去抢好了 那块地值二十几亿呢
You bastard! The land costs over 20 billions.
对呀 我是说过十亿 我不看在眼里啊
That's why I won't be interested in only 10 billions.
但是 二十亿就差不多了
I want 20 billions.
王八蛋
Damn you!
千万不要骂人哪
Don't scold me with foul language.
你一骂人 就破坏你在我心目中那种
Which will damage your image...
高贵美丽的形象
As a pretty lesbian.
贱人
Bastard!
- 你 - 你什么
- You! - What?
三天之内 律师楼办手续
Let's sign the contract 3 days later.
要不然我把你的照片满街去发
Or, I will send you pictures to Portland street.
送到内幕杂志去登
And to the gossip magazines.
诶
Hey,
看什么 鬼鬼祟祟的干嘛
What are you looking?
偷东西呀
Stealing?
不是 那边有两个女人 没穿衣服
No, there is a naked beauty.
我不相信
I won't trust you.
哎呀 你过来看一看先啊
Come and take a look.
如果我过来 你从后面把我打昏了 那怎么办
I am afraid you'd attack me if I go near you.
就算你不过来 我一样要打昏你
Even you don't go, I can attack you too.
嘿 怎么啦
- 刚才 那个穿西装的 拿东西打我 - 快追
- A man in a suit knocked me out just now. - Go and chase after him.
- 诶 有没有看见一个穿西装的 - 嗯
- Have you seen a man wearing a business suit? - No.
那边
This way.
假的 假的
Thief!
诶 什么声音呀
What kind of noise is it?
有声音吗 没听到啊
I don't think so.
让我逮到 我打死他
I will break his neck if I see him again.
你查那边 我查这边
Go that way, I will watch over here.
色…
Wool...
色狼啊 救命啊
Wolf! Help!
在那边 在那边
This way.
是他
It's him.
你上啊
Arrest him!
我都换了工作 你还缠着我 快抓他
I changed my job, but why do you still bother me?
快滚吧 花痴
Go, you bitch!
把牙套 还给我
Give me back my teeth.
啊 是你呀 诶 新噱头啊
It's you! It's fashionable.
新个屁呀
What is it?
你猜 是谁杀了我
Guess who wants to kill me?
谁呀
Who is it?
提示一下我啊
Give me some hints.
诶
Hey.
啊 是她
It's her?
王八蛋 你乱按什么电梯 去死
How dare you!
臭小子 九七还没到 就给我人民币
How dare you give me rmb notes?
你以为 老娘是瞎子啊
Don't you think I am blind?
留着九七用吧
I will throw you to death!
回来啦
Are you back?
诶 你气喘如牛的 你上哪去了
Where have you been?
我还问你 上哪去了呢
I am asking you!
我上哪去了 我一晚上都在这边打牌啊
I have been playing mahjong all night.
我能上哪去啊
Where have I been?
你打了一个晚上的牌
Are you playing mahjong all night?
啊 我们打了十六圈了
We played 16 rounds.
诶 你老公 没毛病吧
What's wrong with your husband?
他呀 当然有毛病了
There is something wrong with him.
哇哦 穿这个鬼样子
You looked so weird,
你上哪去了
where have you been?
哎呀 这什么呀
What is this?
- 啊 - 嗯
- Ah, - What?
嗨呀
Ah.
血耶
It's blood!
你又去杀人了啊
Did you kill?
我憋...
I...
被我吓得 憋不出话来了吧
What's wrong with you?
老夫老妻了 你还这么开不起玩笑啊
I am making fun with you only.
诶 后天是我们结婚七周年纪念日
The day after tomorrow will be the 7th anniversary of us.
我想开个舞会 庆祝一下
I want to hold a party to celebrate it.
你说 好不好
Do you agree?
嗨哟 干嘛瘪着个嘴嘛
Don't be angry.
嗯 亲一下
Let me give you a kiss.
诶
Hey.
你真吓我一跳
You scared me.
哇
Wow.
黎警司 请随便拿杯酒喝
Officer lai, help yourself.
诶 好
Right.
林大岳死了 你知不知道
Do you know lam was killed?
知道
I do.
我快死了 你知不知道
I am going to die, do you know that?
我也知道
Yes, I do.
再查不出凶手 你也快死了
If you can't get the murderer, you'll die too.
谁是凶手 我已经有了 九成把握
I am quite confident to point out the murderer.
到底是谁
Who is it?
你先别急
Don't be anxious,
我的第七感 告诉我说
Don't be anxious, my 7th sense tells me that...
今晚 会有结果
There will be a result tonight.
今晚真正的凶手 会露出他狰狞的面目
The real murderer will show up tonight.
- 不许动 - 双手放头上
- Don't move. - Put your hands on you head.
是你
It's youl!
王先生 我有话 想跟你说
Mr. wong, I have something to talk to you.
- 诶 - 嗯 诶
- Hey, - Yes.
噢噢 我知道 我知道
I know what to do...
诶...不好意思啊 请大家到那边去
I am sorry, please go over there.
谢谢合作 不好意思 不好意思
Thank you for your co-operation.
请到那边去
Please go over there.
诶 人都走开了 你说吧
You may talk now.
主要是 要你走开
In fact, I want you to leave alone.
早点说嘛 人都是有自尊心的
You should tell me earlier, it cut my pride, you know?
王先生 你要看着茱迪
Mr. wong, take care of Judy.
茱迪怎么了
What's wrong with her?
不关她的事 真的跟她 一点关系都没有
It's none of her business, nothing to do with her.
你说清楚一点
Tell me clearly.
到现在 我没办法 只好告诉你了
I can't help telling you now.
其实她…
In fact she...
其实什么 你快说啊
Be frank, tell me!
是啊 有话 你就说呀
Right, be frank and speak up.
诶 我好喜欢这首曲子
I love this music.
陪我跳舞 来
Dance with me, come on.
- 嗨 王先生 - 嗨
- Mr. wong. - Hi.
年年开派对 今年特别高兴
We hold party every year, but this is the happiest one.
你呢
How do you feel?
这就够了 只要你高兴就好
Your feeling is most important.
你看起来好像 不太高兴的样子
It seems that you are not very happy.
你说呢
What do you think?
任何人做任何事情啊 都一定有他的原因的
There must be some reasons for one to do something.
我认为 任何人做任何事…
But I think, anybody do anything...
都一定会有报应 才是真的
There must be Karma.
那杀人的原因 是什么
What's the reason of killing somebody?
你告诉我啊 茱迪
Tell me, Judy!
为什么不说话
Why don't you talk?
没什么
No matter.
我在想 如果你真的是王百万
I am thinking that, if you were million wong...
那该有多好啊
That would be very good.
你早知道 我是假的
You know I am fake?
我第一眼看到你 我就知道了
I knew it on the first day I met you.
你还没有回答 我的问题
You haven't answered my question.
嘘
Hush.
不要破坏我对你 仅存的那点好感
Don't make me dislike you.
我跟百万 最近几年相处得很不好
Million and I were not living happily in these years.
这几天
In these days,
你又让我回忆起 我跟他初恋时候的 那份感觉
you recalled the sweet memory of ours.
那时候 我们都没有钱
We were poor in those days.
但是很真
But, our love was true.
谁知道 他发达之后
When he got rich,
他就越来越花心
he loved fooling around.
而我…
And I...
也就越来越变态
I changed emotionally.
越来越恨 当女人
I hate being woman.
还想当男人
I want to be man.
想当一个 可以跟他竞争的男人
To be a man whom can compete with him for woman.
但是 你来了之后
But when you came here,
却使我有了 还想当女人的感觉
you made me feel like woman again.
我不想知道 你到底是谁
I don't want to know who you are.
我只要求 今晚…
I just want tonight...
你可不可以 全心全意
Can you play...
演好你所扮演的角色
...your role whole-heartly tonight?
老公
Hubby.
今晚 我要你陪我
I want you to accompany me tonight.
好不好
Will you promise me?
我先去补个妆
I want some make up.
你刚才 还没说完呢
You haven't finished.
你怀疑 谁是凶手啊
Who are you suspecting to be the murderer?
我怀疑是茱迪
I suspect it's Judy.
怎么会是她呢
How come?
因为林大岳死的那晚 我也在场
I was in the scene when taior was killed.
我是跟踪茱迪去的
I tailed Judy to the scene.
虽然我没有亲眼 看见她动手
Although I didn't see her kill,
但是当时除了她 没有别人在场
there wasn't anybody around.
为什么不早点说呢
Why don't you tell me earlier?
说啊
Go ahead.
我也不知道 为什么
I don't know why!
你有没有搞错呀
Are you kidding?
你先听我说嘛
Hold it, listen to me first.
就算真是茱迪杀的
Even Judy did kill taior,
我也肯定她有苦衷
I am sure she had her reason.
有什么苦衷啊
What reason?
杀了人 就是杀了人
She was the murderer!
你是警察
But you are a cop.
别真的把她 当成你老婆了 臭小子
Don't treat her as your wife.
王翁啊 好久不见了
Mr. wong, long time no see.
你好 你好 你好
How are you?
- 我不打搅你们了 - 拜拜 拜拜
-I'm not interrupting you. - bye
你还知道些什么 快点说出来
Tell me the rest that you know.
我想 她还会再动手
I think the murderer will kill again.
动什么手
What?
动手杀那些 知道她秘密的人
To kill those who know the secret.
喔啊 还好 我不知道
Luckily I don't know any secret.
现在知道了
You know it now.
我也知道
I know it too.
还有一个 程小姐
There is another one who know this...Miss ching!
那你还不快去通知程小姐
Why don't you inform her now?
我立刻布下天罗地网抓她
I will arrest her by all means.
快去啊
Go now.
是我啦
It's me.
诶 吓死我了
Don't look like this
乖 别怕
Don't be afraid.
我想出了 这个妙计
This is the most wonderful idea.
戴上这个人皮面具哟
I have had masked.
真凶见到了我 一定会吓昏倒的
The real murderer would be fainted once he looks at me.
我就会把他 绳之以法的
I will arrest him right away.
先把面具戴上
Let me put on the mask.
你好
Hello!
- 这么多真凶啊 - 我都被你吓死了
- What's wrong with this? - You scared everyone!
人家不会看新闻啊 蠢猪
They have seen the newspaper about the death of taior, you idiot!
那怎么办
What'll we do now?
你马上到茱迪房间去
Go up to Judy's room and watch.
包你有收获
You will get something! I am sure.
有收获
You mean reward?
我的喷子呢
Where is my gun?
诶 我做这么危险的事情 还把喷子还给你
To do such dangerous thing, you asked me to return your gun?
你以为我是白痴啊
Don't you think I am idiot?
我们今晚 一定要替大岳哥报仇
We should take revenge for brother taior.
大岳哥 一定是被王百万夫妻 给杀死的
He was killed by the million wong and his wife obviously.
你们进去以后 要小心行事 啊
You should be careful!
放心吧
Don't worry.
请
Please.
请
Please.
啊 好久不见了
Hey, long time no see
哦 原来 你有其他的男人了
You have another boyfriend.
以后 你不要来找我啊
Don't come to me again.
你误会了
It's a misunderstanding.
最新的舞步啊 大家跟着跳啊
Maybe, this is a modern dance. Let's follow them.
小姐 请你跳支舞 好吗
Miss, may 1?
过来
Come here.
程小姐 你现在处境 很危险
Miss ching, it's very dangerous.
又是你这个色狼
You are the wolf!
我为了你 换了十几个工作
I changed many jobs because of you.
现在来参加舞会 还逃不过你的魔掌
And I can't escape from you in this party!
啊 这真是天意啊
This is fate!
来吧 来吧 来上我吧
Ok, come and rape me.
诶...你误会了
It's a misunderstanding.
诶...来嘛 来嘛
Hey, Come on...
一次解决 以后不要再来烦我了
just once, never bother me again.
- 来嘛 来嘛 - 哎呀
Come and rape me. Damn it!
看 死得多难看啦
The victim died so horribly!
他怎么死的啊
Isn't it a heart attack?
- 嘿 - 干嘛
- Hey. - What?
那边有人 被十字弓射死了
A person was shot dead by an arrow.
啊
What?
就是他
That's him.
嘿 不要动他 警察就快到了
Don't move, the cops are coming.
诶
Hey,
我刚才去楼上看了汤茱迪
I watched Judy tong upstairs.
她没有出过房门半步
She hasn't left her room.
中计
We are trapped.
我不喜欢 你管我
I don't want to be controlled.
我做什么 自有分寸
I want to go my own way.
茱迪 你这样做 不会有好下场的
Judy, there won't be any good to you.
你不要破坏我
Don't bother me.
茱迪
Judy
你滚
leave now,
今晚上 我不想再看到你了
leave now, I don't want to see you.
哈 打
Ah, Hit you...
啊 诶 是你啊
It's youl!
我刚找到了凶器 想拿来给你看看
I have picked the killing weapon and I want to hand it to you.
你出手还真重啊
You should not hit so heavily!
不要动手
Don't move!
茱迪
Judy!
不许动
Don't get mad.
我早就知道 凶手是你
I know you are the murderer.
对
Yes,
全部都是我做的
Yes, I did all the cases.
诶 喷子 还给你
Take back the gun.
做得好 你升定了
Good job, you must be promoted.
升到哪里啊
How?
你说呢
What do you think?
诶... 我们的工钱 还没算呢
Let's calculate the salary first.
怕你啊 算就算了
Ok, just go ahead.
- 走 - 走
- Go! - Go.
对不起 对不起 让一让 让一让啊
Give way please.
对不起啊 借过借过 让一让 让一让啊 让
I am leaving, hubby.
我走了
I'm leaving,
老公
hubby.
哎呀 干什么了你
Ah, What are you doing?
你绝不会相信 刚才发生的事
Do you know what had happened?
刚才 发生什么事了
What happened?
你知不知道 凶手已经抓到了
The murderer is arrested.
那凶手 到底是谁
I see, who is the murderer?
- 原来凶手就是 - 茱迪 是吗
- The murderer is... - Judy.
她在离开之前 跟你眉目传情
Before taking her away, you showed great affection to each other.
还在你左边脸颊 亲了一下
She kissed your left armpit.
我怎么会知道的 表哥全都告诉我了
I know it, my cousin told me that.
绝对不是
It's totally wrong.
绝对不是
Totally wrong!
你敢说 没有吗
How dare you deny?
绝对有
I won't!
但是 不是在左脸颊
But, she didn't kiss my left armpit.
那在哪儿
Where did she kiss?
阿敏
Ah man,
总之 请你相信我心目中 只有你一个人
trust me, I love you only.
我也心甘情愿 接受你任何的惩罚
I am willing to take any punishment you offered.
来 来惩罚我啊
Come on, punish me.
来 来吧 宝贝
Come on...
谁有空 惩罚你啊
I won't punish you.
那我就要惩罚你了
Well, then I will punish you.
你好坏啊
You are bad.
谁叫你耍我啊
You hit me?
来呀
Come on.
怎么 你也玩这套啊
Where did you get this?
是你叫我 惩罚你的吗
You said you are willing to be punished by me.
反悔了 是不是
Isn't it alright?
怕不怕呀
Are you scared?
我怕得要死啊
I am really scared.
看你下次还敢不敢 乱给人家亲
Are you willing to be kissed by others?
不敢了吧
Dare you?
诶 你把我解开来先嘛
Loose me first.
诶
Hey.
你干什么啊
What are you doing?
洗澡
Bathing.
来 宝贝 不要再浪费时间了
Let's not waste any time.
嗨呀 老婆啊 过来啊 快点
Honey, come on over.
缠住了
It's jammed.
缠住了
It's jammed.
惩罚我啊
Punish me.
来 宝贝
Come on! Baby!
来吧
Come on.
来吧
Come on.
来吧
Come on...
是你
It's youl!
你太多事了
You are nosy!
阿敏 阿敏
Ah man! Ah man.
你害死了茱迪
You dragged Judy down.
说什么 你说什么 我没听清楚
What? Repeat once more.
我要替茱迪报仇
I want to take revenge for Judy.
我听不出你说什么 再说一次
I can't hear clearly, repeat once more.
啊 刚才说什么
Ah, what did you just say?
我说 我要替茱迪报仇
I want to take revenge for Judy.
我还是听不清楚啊 你再说一次
Can you repeat again? I can't hear clearly.
耍我
Fooling me?
看你个头
Do you want peeping?
神龙摆尾
Watch out!
摆啊 摆啊 摆摆摆啊
How dare you!
压死你 我压死你
I wanna kill you!
我问你老母啊 你真的插我啊
Damn it, how dare you stab me like this?
你来真的啊 问你老母
Do you mean it?
不是插你
It's not stabbing,
是要剁你
I am going to open you!
啊
What?
看什么看呀
What are you staring?
我跟你拼了
I want to kill you!
诶 老大 这个玩笑开大了
Please don't!
这不关我的事哦
None of my business.
我知道 我知道
I know!
你玩完了
You are over,
该我了
it's my turn now.
那倒未必
Not exactly!
我还要谢谢你呢
Thank you.
你实在太低估我了
Don't you think I am useless.
哎呀 我的脚怎么那么臭啊 臭死我了 哎呀
Why do my feet smell so bad. I am cramping.
这些就是
These are...
林大岳偷拍的汤茱迪 跟程文静的裸照
...the dirty pictures of Judy and ching.
程文静 不只是个同性恋
Ching is not only a lesbian.
还是个精神病患者
She is insane too.
有严重的暴力倾向
She has an inclination of violence acting.
她要杀死 所有爱汤茱迪
She wants to kill those who loves Judy
还有 伤害汤茱迪的人
and those who harms Judy.
所以 先杀王百万 后杀林大岳
So she killed million wong first. Then she killed taior lam.
汤茱迪把那晚的情形 全说出来了
Judy confessed the situation of that night.
你不可以爱上 那个假王百万
You can't fall for that fake million wong.
我不喜欢 你管我
I don't want to be controlled.
我做什么 自有分寸
I want to go my own way.
他是假的王百万
About this fake million wong.
只有杀了他 我们两个 才能有好日子过
We can have bright future if only he is killed.
你疯了你
You are crazy.
我疯了
Am I?
是你变了心
It's you who has changed.
王百万打你
Wong hit you.
我就替你报仇 替你杀了他
I took revenge for you. So I killed him.
啊 百万是你杀的
It's you who killed million?
怎么样
So what?
我还杀了林大岳呢
I killed taior too.
你以为 我不知道
I knew it.
他拍了我跟你的裸照 来勒索你吗
He took our dirty pictures to blackmail you.
像他这种人
Such rubbish.
只有杀了他 才不会威胁到我们
Only a dead one would do no harm to us.
原来 全都是你做的
You did everything.
为什么
Why?
我所做的一切 全都是为了你
For you only.
我现就去 杀了他
I am now going to kill him.
不许你杀他
I won't let you do so.
你喜欢那个臭男人
Are you falling for that man?
放开我
Get lost.
不要 不 不可以
No, no...
难怪那天晚上 她连我都想杀
That's why she wanted to kill me.
那么那天晚上 想用箭射死我的 也是程文静
Ching wanted to kill me with the arrow.
那为什么 汤茱迪要这样护着 程文静呢
Why Judy wanted to protect ching?
汤茱迪跟她 有很深的感情
She has deep affection with her.
一时冲动 就全扛下来了
So she took all responsibilities herself.
嗯
Yes.
这个女人 真是
She is...
真是什么
What?
怎么样 也不关你的事 对不对
None of your business, you know?
对呀
Yes.
那就好了
That's right.
这案子 办得很好
You have done a great job.
还一件卧底的案子 等着你
You are assigned to another case, to be undercover again.
- 什么 - 嗯 你开什么玩笑啊 你
Are you kidding?
这是命令
This is an order!
命什么令啊
Is this an order?
- 啊 你 - 诶
- You... - Ah.
不要你啊你的 叫我长官
Be polite, call me sir.
廉政公署自认错误 撤销对我的控诉
Icac admitted that it was a mistake to charge against me.
我复职了
I resume duty now.
真的啊 表哥
Isn't it true?
嘿嘿 当然啦
Sure.
啊 复职有什么了不起啊
No big deal.
大不了跟我平起平坐
You may have the same rank as mine.
诶 你错了
You are wrong,
上头说你 整天乱K人
the head said that you always bully your subordinates.
现在 要停你的职
You are suspended now.
所以 不要等到九七
So, before 1997,
我现在 就要你好看啦
you will be bullied by us.
你敢打我
How dare you?
我跟你拼了 我
So what?
诶 你们俩 干什么了
Stop it please, stop.
放手啊 表哥 放手啊 不要打啦
What are you doing? Hands off please.
诶
Hey,
劝什么劝啦 他们两个 打死一个 少一个吧
Just leave them alone.
周星星
Chow sing-sing,
- 外面有人找你 - 啊
- someone is looking for you. - What?
诶 财神狗
Big mouth.
是你啊 大鼻妹
It's you, big nose.
你没事吧
Are you fine?
当然没事了
What?
诶 今晚开派对诶
We are having a party tonight.
嘿 我带了好多马子来啊
I have bought many girls with us.
诶 派对
Hey, party!
诶 你愣在那儿 干什么
What are you waiting for?
还不快点 多找点帅哥 啊
Bring some boys to join us.
帅哥
Handsome guy
好好好 下次 下次啊
Fine, make it next time.
你们玩得开心点啊
Enjoy yourself.
好 拜拜
Fine! bye bye!
片尾曲 : 把所有的爱都留给你
等等我啊
Wait for me!
每一次 离开你
都觉得 舍不得
我知道你等我 滋味难受
每一次 见到你
都想要 告诉你
你对我 多么重要
人在天涯 心里是你
情话 只好放心底
拥抱世界 拥抱着你
永远不变 我的心
把所有的爱 都留给你
把所有思念 留给自己
虽然 我不能在你身边
我的心 希望你能看见
把所有的爱 都留给你
多少的风 说你爱我
飘泊
我依然听见 你对我说 你爱我