逃學威龍 三之龍過雞年
肚子還痛不痛啊
Do you have stomach ache?
痛啊
Yes.
一陣一陣地絞痛 這我已經跑兩次廁所了
I went shitting twice.
星星
Sing-sing.
誒 阿敏
Hi, ah man.
表哥 覺得怎麼樣
Cousin, how are you?
啊 像我這樣 身經百戰的警務人員
I am an experienced police officer.
這點皮外傷 跟長青春痘一樣
I won't care about such little injury.
他就不同了
But he is different.
這是給他機會 接觸像我這樣的高級上司
He hasn't had such chance to meet with a senior officer like me.
你並不是 我的上司
You are not my boss.
你已經不再是 警務人員了
And you are not a police officer either.
你已經被警務署 停了職
You are suspended by the department.
我不過是 把你當一個普通的證人 來保護
I am just protecting a common witness.
誒 我是被冤枉的
I was framed,
遲早 會水落石出
you'll know that I am innocent sooner or later.
等我出去後復職 你就知道了
When I resume duty, you will regret what you've done to me.
誒... 你們兩個人 都少說一句
Cut the crap,
不要吵了
stop arguing.
叫他有出息一點 好不好啊
Please, you'd encourage him.
- 跑到這裡來臥底 - 好... 我知道
- Say, being the undercover. - Right... I know.
臥底
Undercover?
你不要再叫他 去做臥底了
Don't ask him to be undercover again!
我最恨他去做臥底
I hate people being undercover.
星星啊
Sing-sing,
你答應過我 再也不做臥底了 哦
Sing-sing, you promised me you'd never be undercover again.
對
Yes.
但是做臥底 也比保護這個白痴好啊
But I prefer being an undercover than protecting this scumbag.
我這種身手 還要你保護
I need no protection from you.
你從停職到現在
But you were attacked
- 已經被仇家 堵了三十幾次了 - 哇兒靠
- over 30 times after you're suspended. - Shit!
來呀 來呀
- What? - Come on.
好了 好了 你們不要再吵了
Stop arguing!
我盛湯給你們喝啊
I will give you some soup, come on.
還有哪裡 覺得不舒服啊
Anything wrong with you?
頭有點燙 還有點昏昏的
I have headache, and a little bit dizzy.
這就難怪了
I see!
好 你說什麼都不肯出院
You refuse to leave the hospital,
原來這裡的護士 這麼漂亮
because the nurses here are so pretty.
把手燙到了
My hand is hurt.
小姐 我什麼時候才可以出院呀
Miss, when can I leave the hospital?
只要你乖乖的
As long as you're obedient.
誒 你還看啦
No peeping!
我手燙到了 你都不理我
No peeping! You don't even take care of my hand!
出去擦點藥藥 就好了
Go and get some medicines from the nurse.
不准再看啊
No peeping!
小狗才看她
I haven't!
你幹嘛呀
What are you doing?
剛才好危險 你沒看見呀
It was dangerous! Didn't you notice it?
什麼危險 你變態啊
What? You are insane!
趴下
On the floor!
啊 別鬧了
That's too much!
不是呀 他…
No, he...
你不要以為我好欺負 你再試試看
Don't bully me! Try once more if you dare!
你的 小心
Be careful!
趴下
Be careful!
你這個色魔
Damn you, you wolf!
我老公 都沒有對我這樣
I can recognize you anyway.
總部 我是周星星 Call我啊
Calling control, I am chow sing-sing, are you calling me?
是呀
Yes.
正好 我剛剛破獲了 一個驚天的殺手集團
I've just destroyed a notorious group of killers.
抓到幾個 罪有應得的匪徒
And I've arrested the involved criminals.
叫人來 全帶回去
Come and take them back to the station now.
我也有份呢
Tell him I achieved something.
黎警司叫你 馬上趕到現場去
Officer lai asked you to go to the scene immediately.
我正在保護證人 走不開啊
I am now protecting the witness, I can't leave.
黎警司叫你放下一切 馬上到現場去
Officer lai asked you to leave everything alone. Come now.
真的放下一切
Do you mean to leave everything alone?
是啊
Yes.
放就放
Alright.
等我把槍撿起來 才准動哦
Don't move, let me pick up the gun first.
誒
Hey,
星星呢
Where is sing-sing?
全部給我 一字排開 趴在牆上
Everyone face to the wall, now!
發生什麼事了
What's the matter?
他被召回總部去了
He is called by the headquarters.
嗨啊 這個試管是漏的
Hey, the test tube is broken,
幫我拿個杯子 裝一下啊
Hey, the test tube is broken, give me a cup.
噢
Yes, sir!
長官好
Madam
我馬上拿去化驗
I'll take it for chemical test right now.
這裡發生什麼情況
What's the matter?
是件兇殺案
It's a homicide case.
啊
What?
請問死者是個人 還是動物啊
Is the dead a man or an animal?
是人
Man.
是人 怎麼會有條尾巴 在這裡呢 請問
Why a tail is found here?
誒 你不是化學老師
You are the chemical teacher.
你是哪位啊
Who are you?
我是周星星啊
I am chow sing-sing,
在第一集 你教過我化學的
you taught me chemistry in last movie.
我怎麼不記得 我教過化學啊
I can't remember that.
我是法醫
I am the legal medical expert,
你是哪位啊
who are you?
周星星
Chow sing-sing.
你剛才 問我什麼
What did you ask me before?
沒事
Nothing.
嘿 秀逗
Nonsense.
黎警司呢
Have you seen officer lai?
哪位黎警司啊
Which one are you talking about?
就是那個白痴啊
That scumbag.
整天自稱是 終極警探布魯斯·威利
He claims himself Bruce willies,
做事蠻不講理的那個白痴啊
he is nicknamed super-cop.
那個白痴 現在被你 踩在腳下了
That scumbag's foot is under yours.
對不起 長官
Sorry, sir.
有沒有 踩扁你啊
Are you hurt?
大庭廣眾 這樣踩我腳 怎麼下台啊
Sure! I am hurt!
這個嘛
Yes.
誒 關於這件兇殺案呢
About the homicide...
這件兇殺案 非常的殘忍
It's so cruel.
死者是個有錢人 叫王百萬
The dead is called million wong.
雙手被人綁在床上 用冰錐插死的
His hands are tied up, and he is stabbed to death by an ice digger.
床上留下了 很多的精液
There are sperms left on the bed sheet.
跟最近一部電影的情節 很相像
The way he was killed is similar to the story of one recent movie.
那你這麼急地Call我來 有何吩咐呢
So what do you want me to do with this case?
你先看這照片
Take a look at this picture.
誒 幹嘛偷拍我的照片呢
When did you take my picture?
我會生氣的
I hate this.
這是死者的照片
This is the picture of the dead,
跟你長得一模一樣
you two look like the same.
只不過多了顆痣
But he had a mole more.
居然有這種事
It's funny.
你想怎麼樣
What do you want?
當然有你的好處了
It's a merit to you.
對不起啊 擦檫臉
I am sorry, clean your face please.
誒
Ah.
衛生紙 哪來的
Where did you get the tissue paper?
床邊拿的
It's put next to the bed, so what?
這是死者 用來擦那兒的
It's used by the victim for cleaning.
擦哪兒的
Cleaning what?
你說呢
What do you think?
就當作 做臉好了
It's alright, just take it as facial.
誒 你說對不對呀 黎Sir
What do you think, officer lai?
誒 剛才死者那杯精液呢
Where are the sperms of the victim?
啊 在這裡呀
Here it is.
誒... 怎麼沒有了
It's empty.
誒 小子
Hey, guy,
你知不知道 你破壞了現場的物證
You know it's a serious crime...
這是 很嚴重的
...to destroy the evidence?
除非 你照我的指示去做
Unless you obey my instruction,
否則 就再回街上去 指揮交通
or you'll be punished.
你的任務就是 假裝王百萬 回到他家去
Your mission is to act as million wong, and go back to his home.
監視他老婆 湯茱迪
To keep an eye on his wife, Judy tong.
還有一個 跟他穿同一條褲子的朋友 林大岳
And his friend, taior lam who always wants to take his advantage.
這兩個人 殺他的嫌疑最大了
They are suspected to be the murderer.
然則 你就是叫我去當臥底 是不是
You want me to be undercover?
其實呢 正確的名稱 應該叫做
That's what I want. Or you can name yourself
二五仔 鬼頭仔 邊緣人 線民
betrayer,
或者spyer都可以了
or, bag egg, just as you like!
我求求你啊
I beg you,
不要再叫我 去做臥底了
I beg you, don't ask me to be undercover.
我答應過我馬子 不再做這種事了
I promised my girl of not being undercover anymore.
否則 我連老婆 都沒了
Or, I will lose my wife.
誒 你就做做好事
Please, be merciful.
就當我是蘇乞兒 可憐可憐我吧 恩公
Please show mercy to me, I beg you!
你可以不去啊
You can refuse going.
找人錄口供
Anyone of you, just take him back...
告這位警務人員 蓄意破壞重要的物證
...and charge him of destroying the important evidence.
是
Yes sir.
這麼兇 想嚇死人呢
You scared me!
我不去 可以叫別人去啊
Even I refuse, there will be another one who is willing to go.
大不了 你說怎樣就怎樣嘛 死鬼
Ok, I will listen to you, you are disgusting!
麥當娜 像這樣求過我
I haven't promised macdonna
八次 我都沒有答應
who flattered me 8 times.
何況是你
So how can you change my mind by flattering me like this?
是麥當雄吧
I think it's not macdonna but Mac Don-hung.
麥當娜
Macdonna.
給個面子 別叫我去 行不行啊
Please give me face to let me excuse from this mission!
不行 一定要你去
No, you should go.
你太霸道了吧
You are too dominant!
霸道是我的最佳拍檔 你不知道
Dominic is my Christian name.
豈有此理 做人處世不要欺人太甚了 你
Damn it, don't go too far!
告訴你 我是虎鶴雙形的冠軍
I am a kung-fu master.
奪命剪刀腳 跟降龍十八掌
I am expert in no-shadow fist,
也都有 幾十年的造詣了
and skeleton kick!
說難聽點 我讓你雙手雙腳
You can never defeat me.
光用頭 就能夠頂死你
But I can defeat you just by my tongue!
你是不是 一定要我去先
Do you want me to go?
不過你硬要我去 一定有你的原因
But there must be a reason why you want me to go.
我想了又想嘛
Let me think...
還是尊重 你的決定
I respect your decision.
好吧
Ok?
好
Fine!
其實我最喜歡 邊緣人這個名字
Actually I love the name of "undercover".
是你自己願意的 我可沒逼你哦
I didn't push you.
別傻了
You are silly,
大家都是自己人嘛 還說這種話 真是的…
how can you say this to your best friend?
你是不是 不把我當朋友啊
Are you taking me as your friend?
誒嘿 同事一場 先借二三十萬來買棟房子吧
We're colleagues, lend me few hundred thousands to buy a flat, ok?
哼 看你那個死樣子 就知道你不講義氣
I can tell you are not righteous.
我會全力支持你的
I will support you anyway.
好好用心破案啊
Try hard to solve the case.
誒 未來表妹夫
My future brother-in-law.
相請人 不如偶遇
How nice to meet you,
我請你飲茶
it's my treat.
不過 先打個兩萬塊來 用一用
But, lend me $20,000 first.
誒 你已經被停職了 還來瞎攪和
You are suspended, how dare you borrow money from me?
別讓我丟臉
Don't lose my face.
我來報警 行不行呀
I come to report a crime, isn't it ok?
有女人非禮我
I was indecent assaulted by a woman.
等等先
Hold it...
黎Sir
Sir,
你剛才說 要全力支持我 是吧
As you said before, you'd support me anyway.
只要你肯做 你要什麼 都行啊
If you are willing to do so, I will do everything to assist you.
那太好了 我就要他 當我的助手
That's fine! I want him to be my assistant!
第三排 第四個位子
The 4th seat of the 3rd row.
誒 你太誇張了吧
You are exaggerating!
你管我
None of your business.
誒 你怎麼到現在才來
You are late!
哎呀 局裡面有事嘛
I was busy.
怎麼樣 現在演到哪裡了
How is the story?
吶 就演到那個女人吶 跟一個男人在床上
The woman stays with the man on bed,
突然拿出一個冰錐 一直刺那個男的
she kills the man with an ice-digger.
誒
Hey,
我有事情 要告訴你
Hey, I want to tell you something.
什麼事呀
What?
我把學校的工作辭掉了
I quitted the job in school.
我想要幫我媽 專心經營她那個花店
I want to help my mom to take care of her florist.
我想啊 到酒店哪 茶樓哪 接一些訂單回來做
I wish to take some orders from the hotels and restaurants.
你說 這好不好
Isn't it a good idea?
好啊 非常好
Good, very good.
我也有事情 要告訴你
I have something to talk to you too.
什麼
What?
明天開始 我又要去當臥底了
I will be an undercover starting from tomorrow morning.
你說什麼
What?
我說明天開始 我又要去當臥底了
I will be an undercover starting from tomorrow morning.
你不膩嗎
Are you tired of that?
我膩了
Sure,
但是我們老闆不膩 我也沒有辦法
but not my boss. I can't help.
這次 又要假裝什麼人了
What identity will you be this time?
一個女人的老公
A husband of a woman.
是哪一個女人呢
Which woman?
你可不能告訴別人囉
Keep this as secret.
誒 就是常在八卦周刊出現的 那個湯茱迪
Judy tong, who always appears in the gossip magazine.
我只能告訴你這麼多 其他的都要保密
This is what I can tell, others should be kept confidential.
你不會介意吧
Don't you mind?
你太誇張了吧
It's not necessary for you to scare like this!
想吃我豆腐 是不是
Or do you want to take advantage?
我是想吃臭豆腐啊 白雪公主
Sure. Miss snow white!
那你慢慢吃吧 我走了
I am leaving.
借過
Excuse me.
阿敏
Ah man.
阿敏
Ah man.
誒...啊 阿敏
Ah man.
阿敏
Ah man.
- 去哪裡 - 幹什麼了
- where are you going to? - What are you doing?
你要去哪裡呀
Where are you going to?
誒
Hey,
是你答應我 不再做臥底的嘛
You promised me not to be undercover again!
你不講信用啊
You're not keeping your word.
別鬧了 這是上級的命令 我也沒有辦法呀
You silly girl, this is an order, I can't help.
明天 就是大年三十
Tomorrow is the lunar new year Eve.
- 你答應過我 要到我家 吃年夜飯的 - 對不起 借過
- You promised to dine with my family. - Excuse me.
我不借 進去再抖一抖
No, go and piss once more.
少個人 只是少雙筷子而已
It doesn't matter!
菜還是一樣好吃的嘛 好了 乖乖的啊
Don't be silly...
好 你要去做那個湯茱迪的老公
Ok, you want to be the husband of Judy tong?
她不男不女 古古怪怪的
She is weird!
是不是還要睡 同一張床上
Will you sleep with her?
我會 睡得很驚醒
No,
絕對不會做出 什麼事情來
I will never do that!
不過喝醉酒 就難說了
But, I am not sure if I get drunk.
你陪女人睡覺 是嗎
Are you going to sleep with her?
那我就要到外面 陪男人玩
I will date other boyfriends in return.
哎 你不講理啊 你以為我願意啊
I don't want to do so,
- 那是工作嘛 - 對不起 借過
- it's my job. - Excuse me.
不借啦
No excuse.
我已經抖過一次了
I have pissed again.
那再拉泡屎
So, go shitting.
我不管
I don't care,
只要讓我知道 你在外面亂來
if you do something wrong,
那就是 你敬我一尺 我敬你一丈
I will take revenge.
你陪一個人睡 我就陪十個男人睡
Say, I will sleep with 10 men.
哇 你身為我的馬子
You're my girlfriend.
說出這種話來 成何體統
Why say such words?
還有呢
And,
如果 你對不起我
If you do something wrong,
我就會像戲裡的女主角一樣
I will learn from the character of the film.
趁你睡著的時候
When you fall asleep,
把你綁在床頭
I will tie you up,
用冰錐 戳死你
and stab you to death with the ice-digger.
想把我 綁在床頭 別開玩笑了
Tie me up? Stop kidding,
小心駛得萬年船
Stop kidding, be careful.
喂 你幹什麼
What are you doing?
沒有啊
Nothing.
誒...你洗完澡了
Have you bathed?
是啊
Yes.
誒 罰你先寫完春聯
You should write the fei chun first.
好 我明天寫
Fine, I'll make it tomorrow.
沒得說
No way,
快去啊
go now.
哎呀 好累呀 我的手
My hands are tired.
先寫這麼多 行不行啊
May I stop here?
手累了 用腳寫
You can use your feet.
哇 真的用腳寫 有一套
Great! You wrote them with your toes.
這就想難倒我啊
Sure! I am really smart!
你挺不錯的
Sure you are!
我這麼棒
I'm so great,
你是不是 越來越喜歡我了
Are you loving me more?
如果 你真的這麼棒
If you were so smart that...
用腳吃麵 給我看看
Eat the noodle with your toes, can you?
你說什麼
What did you say?
喂
Hello?
啊 王太太嗎 這是警察局
Are you Mrs. wong? This is a call from the police station.
我們在新界 找到你先生 王百萬了
We have found your husband.
真的
Really?
他現在 人在哪裡啊
Where is he now?
啊 在警察局 請你立刻來 把他帶回去
In the police station, come and pick him up.
謝謝啊
Thank you.
少奶
Madam,
有人送了 好漂亮的內褲給你
Madam, someone sent you some expensive underwears.
神經 是人都知道 我不穿內褲的
Idiot, everyone knows that I hate wearing underwears.
還給他
You may take them as your own.
是
Thank you.
我現在去接少爺了
I am now going to take master home.
是 少奶
Yes, madam.
你是燙豬皮 哦不
Are you jelly tong, no...
誒 湯茱迪 對不對
Are you Judy tong?
叫我茱迪
Call me Judy.
你找到我老公了
Have you found my husband?
哦 是呀 我們是在新界 找到他的
Yes, we found him in new territories.
他的神智 不太清醒
He seems to have lost his memory!
我們懷疑 他的頭部 受過重創
We suspected that his head was seriously hurt.
身上一毛錢 都沒有啊
He's got not a penny in his pocket.
可能被搶劫過 也說不定
Maybe he is robbed.
哼 是被女人搶了吧
Robbed by woman, I guess.
這麼多男人 沒一個抽煙的嗎
Why don't you smoke?
王太太 對不起啊 這房間裡不准抽煙
Mrs. wong, I am sorry, smoking is not allowed in this room.
抽煙 要不要坐牢啊
Would you put me in jail?
噢 坐牢倒不要哈
No... but...
要罰五千塊
$5,000 will be fined.
這有一萬塊 請你一塊抽吧
Here is ten thousand, I will treat you cigarette.
王太太
Mrs. wong,
錢並不是萬能的
money is not the most powerful thing in the world.
錢不是萬能的
It isn't...
不過沒錢 就很頭痛了
But it's important.
你不是我老公
You are not my husband.
我沒說 我是你老公啊
I haven't said I was you husband.
誒 他明明是你老公啊
He is your husband.
我不認識他
I won't forgive him!
鬼混 鬼混 混得人都糊塗了
You just go fooling around, that made you crazy!
誒 說話啊
Speak something.
說什麼
What?
我什麼都不記得了嘛
What? I lost my memory.
她是你老婆誒
She is your wife.
我不是
No.
我沒說過 你是啊
I didn't say yes.
誒...夫妻兩個 床頭吵了 床尾和嘛
You are couple anyway, forget his mistake.
回家Say good night 就天下太平了
You, go and flatter her, then it'd be alright.
我才不帶他回去呢
I won't go home with him.
我是來看他 死了沒有
I come and see whether he is dead or not.
我老婆很漂亮誒 我記得
I have light memory that, my wife is rather pretty.
嗯 難道她不漂亮嗎
She is pretty.
你說呢
What do you think?
她雖然不漂亮 但真是你老婆啊
Although she is not pretty, she is your wife.
對不起啊 警察又騙人了
I am sorry, police can't tell lies.
我老婆身材 很正點呢 我聽說
My wife is having nice body.
她身材 不正點嗎
She has nice figure too.
我老婆 她是不穿內褲的
My wife doesn't wear underwear.
我剛剛把了她 沒穿內褲啊
I have just seen that she hasn't worn the underwear.
我猜的
I just guess...
你這個死鬼誒
Damn it,
說你笨嘛 你又不笨
you are not crazy at all.
嘴巴倒像抹了油似的 叫人好氣又好笑
You have sharp tongue!
誒 好了
Well,
你們回家再決定 好氣還是好笑吧
Well, go home now. Come on.
你敢命令我
Are you telling me?
我已經忍了你很久了 你這什麼態度啊
What kind of behaviour of you?
老公掉了 就來報警
You reported of missing a husband,
老公找到了 又不安靜
you come and fool us after your husband is found.
再吵 我把你們 全部抓到深圳
I'd better take you back to shenzhen!
在深圳 關上你一年半載的 我看你靜不靜
You know, we can lock you up for few months without any trial.
看看看 看他幹什麼 你要看著我的
What are you looking? You are impolite. Look at me.
他能保你 多久啊
How long can he protect you?
九七年七月 連他也要抓回去
In July 1997, I will arrest him too.
你是誰啊
Who are you?
啊 大陸公安吶 怎麼樣
The security officer of China. So what?
啊... 你看來很眼熟哦
You look familiar,
什麼時候去大陸的
when did you go back to China?
沒去過啊
I haven't!
沒去過
Never?
你好像 欠國家很多錢的 那個商業罪犯囉
You seem to be the commercial criminal who stole money from government.
誒 小子
Hey, Pal,
快點幫我叫一部車來
Hurry up and call a car for me,
全部都給我抓回去 還有他
I want to take them back to shenzhen now. Including him!
啊 我
Me?
你幹什麼 是不是不合作
Don't be big mouth,
想破壞 安定繁榮的社會啊
do you want to interrupt the peace?
小心 我把你老母 抓回去
I will arrest you, don't you believe? Damn it!
哎喲 還好只抓我老母 不抓我
I am sorry! Excuse me please.
說完了沒有啊 我你老母的 我好睏啦
Have you finished? Damn it. I am sleepy.
誒 不要亂說話 你不是我老母
Don't be big mouth.
來來來 睏了 就回去睡覺
Go home to sleep if you feel sleepy.
誒... 你們不要走啊 誒
Don't go!
走了 走了
Let's go
照本子辦事 來來 槍呢 槍呢
where is my gun?
走吧 她走了 不是更好嗎
Just let them go.
你看隨便唬唬 就唬走了 小子
Bull shit works, see?
誒 敢叫我小子
How dare you be so impolite to me?
知不知道 你被炒魷魚了
You know, you are suspended.
再冒充警察 我馬上抓你
If you pretend to be police again, I'll ask someone to arrest you.
誒 你兇什麼
Don't be so cocky.
我是冒充公安的 你叫公安來抓我啊
I pretended as Chinese security officer, ask them to arrest me!
誒...你再吵
You...
再吵 我就真的去考個公安囉
Stop it. Or I will go & apply to be the Chinese security officer,
97年再來 把你老母炸了 當豬油
and I will take revenge in 1997. You go to hell!
哎喲 還好我老母吃素 沒油啊
Luckily, I am a catholic, I will go to heaven.
少爺
Young master!
哇
Wow...
哇
Wow.
哇個屁啊 這是你家
It's your house, what makes you surprise?
我得了失憶症嘛
I have lost my memory.
失憶症 了不起啦
So what?
我沒有說 我了不起啊
I don't mean it.
你知不知道 她是誰啊
Do you know who she is?
阿媽
My mom.
少爺 你幹嘛罵我啊
You mistook it.
媽你個逼啊
Shit.
她是我們的日本管家 羅芳冊子
She is toiletpapa. Our housekeeper.
茅房廁紙
What? She is toilet paper?
那是她的日本名字
It's a Japanese name.
- 哦 - 爸爸
- Oh. - Daddy.
爸爸
Daddy.
誒 乖兒子
My dear son...
- 爸爸 - 誒嘿 好 乖兒子 乖兒子
Good boy, I miss you so much!
誒 你不該啊
Damn it!
他是園丁的兒子
He is the son of the gardener.
那他為什麼叫我爸爸
He greeted me daddy.
他見了誰 都叫爸爸的 叫人啦
He greets everyone as daddy. Greet us.
爸爸…
Daddy...
你回來就好
I am glad you are back.
你知不知道 他是誰啊
Do you know who he is?
是不是 做咖哩的
Is he the cook who makes curry?
他是你老爸呀
He is your dad.
乖兒子
Good boy.
老爸
Daddy.
你回來 就好了
It's good to see you again.
你知不知道 他是誰啊
Do you know who he is?
大概是園丁之類的人吧
May be a gardener.
他是你奶媽啊
Your baby sitter.
奶媽
What?
少爺 要不要我沏杯奶給您喝
Master, do you want to have milk?
不用了 我沒胃口
Why not later?
你知不知道 它是誰啊
Do you know who he is?
不會是我的弟弟吧
I don't think he is my brother.
正是啊
Sure he is.
你一向把它 當弟弟看待的
You always treat him as your brother.
噢 講清楚啊
I see.
你快點叫它
Call its name,
否則 它就撲上來咬你呢 我告訴你
or it will bite you.
它叫什麼名字啊
What name is it?
魅妞啊
Use your brain!
魅妞 魅妞 魅溜
Dolly...
傻妞 胖妞 加上老妞 馬妞 臭妞 小妞
David, Peter, Maria, Rose, gigo...
鐵妞 萬梓良 吳孟達…
Gigio Armani, Valentino...
王晶 周星馳 啊...
Wong jing, ng man tat, Gordon chan...
哎呀
Ah.
這條狗 早該送去 安樂死了
This dog should be killed.
這條狗 叫做魅妞
It's called Dolly law!
是你自己不記得 人家的名字的嘛
You forget its name.
誒 我叫了它 很多聲魅溜呢
I said Dolly many times.
是魅妞的妞 不是魅溜的溜啊
No, it's called Dolly law. Not Dolly.
就差那個妞字
You should mention it's surname law.
難怪它老咬著 我的屁股不放
That's why it didn't obey me.
- 少爺 - 嗯
- Young master. - Yes.
獸醫來了
The vet has arrived.
哪條狗 要拔牙
Which dog should I draw its teeth?
這條
This way.
麻煩你了 醫生
Thank you, doctor.
不要這麼大聲吶
Lower your voice.
平常一按摩 你就不睡覺的
You always fall asleep when doing massage to you.
你今天 唉什麼唉啊
But why are you so excited today?
我不是唉啊 我是哈
I don't know why.
哎 你不要扳到這種地步吧
Don't pull so hard, ok?
少爺 你平常最喜歡這一招了
Young master, but you love it.
真的嗎
You mean it?
是啊
Yes.
那就照舊吧
Forget it.
誒 這張照片掛了這麼多年了 還有什麼好看的
Why are you interested in this old picture?
我有失憶症
I have lost my memory.
失憶症 了不起啊
So what?
不是 我了不起
I don't mean it.
我是在看為什麼穿條內褲
I wonder! Why did I take
拍這麼奇怪的照片 真是怪胎
such picture with an underwear only!
沒有理由啊
Why?
嗨呀 你好意思說呢
Hi, what do you mean?
求了你半天 你才穿上條內褲的
It's me who begged you to wear it!
本來你什麼 都不肯穿
You refused to wear anything at first.
你還說那樣子才性感
You wanted to be sexy.
看你一臉不滿意的死相啊
You didn't satisfy with it at all.
啊 看不出 他會是這種人
I can't imagine he is that kind of person.
啊
What?
我是說 我想不起來 我是這種人
I have lost my memory.
要不是你的樣子 像透了他
If not judging from your look,
我還真有點 懷疑你呢
I suspect that you're fake.
懷什麼疑呀
What? Are you suspecting me?
我什麼都不記得了嘛
I told you I lost my memory.
告訴我失蹤以前 我說過什麼 做過什麼
Actually what did I tell you before I lost?
誰知道 你說過什麼 做過什麼啦
I don't know.
廁子
Toiletpapa.
- 廁子 - 叫她幹什麼
- Toiletpapa. - What are you calling her for?
叫她放水 給你洗澡啊
To prepare for your bath.
人家早就睡覺了
She has slept.
少爺 有何吩咐啊
What do you want, master?
你怎麼神出鬼沒的 啊
You always appear so suddenly!
- 少奶奶 少爺說我神出鬼沒 - 啊
- Madam, she said I appeared so suddenly. - Yes.
這屋子裡人 全都神出鬼沒的
It's the usual practice of everybody in this house.
不要以為只有你們 才會神出鬼沒的
I know how to appear in a sudden too.
皮癢
What are you doing?
誒
Hello,
誒 黎警司呀
officer lai,
我是湯茱迪呀
I am Judy tong.
- 你說不說 - 什麼事
What's the matter?
你替我找到的老公 不是我的老公啊
You have found me the husband, he is not my husband.
誒 薄一點 薄一點啊
Thinner, make it thinner.
你怎麼知道 他不是你老公啊
How do you know that?
他誰都不認識了呀
He knows nothing
抱著園丁的兒子 當自己的兒子
about my family.
他被狗咬了呢 還有啊
He was bitten by our dog.
我叫他去洗澡 他就真的乖乖地去洗澡了耶
I asked him to bath, he did it.
他一年呢 只洗四次澡的呀
But he bathed only 4 times a year before.
結婚的時候
He was pushed
我求了他一個禮拜 他都不肯去洗啊
to take a bath before our wedding.
哦 呵
Ah.
哦 我們在拘留所給他洗澡 他洗上癮了
We asked him to take bath in the detention centre, he addicted to it.
誒 我告訴你喔
Hey,
他真是你老公啊 你要對他好一點
he is your real husband. Treat him nicely,
否則 我一定不會放過你的喔
otherwise, I won't let you go.
誒 你怎麼這樣說 你是不是黎警司啊
Are you officer lai? How can you talk like this?
不是黎警司 難道是黎明啊
I am not officer lai? Don't you think I am Leon lai?
找死
Go to hell.
喂 你的聲音 不像他
It doesn't seem to be your voice.
剛才 那不是我的聲音
You're right.
真是欠K
You deserve severe punishment.
陳警司
Officer chan.
王太太 有何貴幹
What's the matter?
我家裡的老公 不是我的老公
I don't think my husband is my husband.
我不明白 請講清楚一點
I don't understand.
你們的黎警司啊 幫我找到老公了
Officer lai found my missing husband.
跟我的老公 一模一樣啊
He looks like my husband.
但是 我回到家裡 我才發現
But,
跟我老公 一模一樣的老公
I have found that,
那根本就不是 我的老公啊
he isn't my husband.
黎警司 幫你找到的老公
Officer lai has found you a husband
跟你老公 長得一模一樣
who is not your husband.
但是 你發現這個老公 不是你那個老公
But you've found that your husband isn't your husband.
他根本就不是 我的老公
He is not my husband.
那你是懷疑 這個類似你老公的物體
So you are suspecting that he is fake although
不是你老公
he is like your husband.
差不多這樣
I think so.
那你該找 黎警司啊
You should ask officer lai.
我打過電話 找黎警司了
I have called him.
誰知道 那個不是黎警司的黎警司啊
But, I don't know whether it's officer lai or not,
他說 這個不是我老公的老公呢
he told me that my present husband...
就是我的老公
...is my husband.
一個不是黎警司的黎警司
That officer lai, you don't know whether he is true or not,
假裝黎警司 告訴你說
he told you,
這個 不是你老公的老公 是你老公
your present husband is your real husband?
差不多這樣
I think so.
誒 我給你個建議啊
I have a suggestion.
你回家去 好好洗個熱水澡 再喝杯熱牛奶
Go home and take a bath, and drink a cup of hot milk.
明天早上睡醒之後呢 再去找黎警司
Come to see officer lai early tomorrow morning.
就會發現 那個不是你老公的老公啊
Then you will discover that,
砰的一聲 就變成你老公了
your husband is your husband again.
連你也懷疑我
Are you suspecting me?
連你也不相信我啊
Don't you trust me?
你以為我是神經呢
Don't you think I am idiot?
差不多是這樣
I think so.
嘿呀 他真的是假的呀
He is fake.
我也是假的
I am fake too.
其實 我是劉德華裝的
Actually I am Andy lau, I pretended to be officer chan.
今天是年三十晚上 12點半
Now, it's 30 minutes passed 12.
嘿 一點了 大年初一
Oh, it's the first day of the lunar new year.
大家新年快樂 事事如意
Happy new year.
- 你趕快回去吧 啊 - 你幹什麼 陳警司誒
What are you doing? Officer chan?
- 誒 我還沒說完呢 - 拜拜
- That's it, bye bye. - I haven't finished.
拜拜
Bye bye.
你真有兩套啊 不愧是我的同期同學啊
You are great, my dear classmate.
誒 恭喜發財 恭喜發財
Kung hei fat choi!
臭小子 我遲早被你害死啊
You are making a dead set at me.
她那麼有錢
She is rich,
可以把我們告垮的 你知不知道
she will sue us, you know?
誒 我們是在伸張正義 維持法紀誒
But we are carrying law and justice.
你是強姦正義 目無法紀
You misjudge righteousness!
嚯啊 那麼用力戳我 找死
How dare you push me? Go to hell.
啊
Ah.
怎麼樣
So what?
我用手指戳你 你用拳 我跟你拚了
How dare you hit me? I will kill you!
誒 怎麼玩真的
How do you really play?
陳警司啊
Officer chan,
我的打火機 忘了拿
Officer chan, I have lost my lighter.
你怎麼有 黑眼圈呢
Why your eyes are so black?
哦嘿 睡眠不足啊 當然有黑眼圈了
I don't have enough sleep, that's it.
哦 王太太 恭喜發財啊 萬事如意…
Mrs. wong, kung hei fat choi.
大吉大利啊 學業進步 青春永駐
Good luck, good bye.
總之是 恭喜發財啊
Anyway, happy anything to you.
哎呀 淨碰見瘋子
All are crazy!
什麼聲音啊
What kind of noise is it?
幹嘛
What are you doing?
你幹什麼
What are you doing?
- 你請我 當你助手的 對不對 - 對啊
- You are my boss, I am your assistant, don't you forget? - Yes.
你叫我帶著噴子 24小時保護你 對不對
You asked me to protect you, right?
對啊
Sure.
我都做到了
I have done what you've instructed.
可是我沒有叫你 鋸穿人家天花板啦 大哥
I haven't told you to cut the ceiling of others.
啊
Yes.
對喔 你沒有說過
Yes, you didn't!
哎 走了 蠢蛋
Go away, you idiot.
我在這裡 不用你保護了 你快走吧
I don't need your protection.
我不能走
But, I can't leave,
我要留下來 看著你
But, I've to watch over you,
會不會 對不起我表妹
to stop you from betraying my cousin.
少奶奶 你回來了
- Here you are, madam. - Yes.
茱迪湯回來了 你快躲起來
Judy is back, go now.
哦
Oh.
糟糕 樓下的肥婆回房間了 怎麼辦
Shit, a fatty has gone into the room, what shall I do?
回來了 回來了 上哪去了
Are you back? Where have you gone?
嗯 沒有啊 我出去吃了碗餛飩麵
I just went out to eat noodle.
哦 吃碗餛飩麵 是吧
Noodle?
- 誒 是啊 - 太好了
- Yes. - Very good.
為了完成任務
In order to finish my mission,
唯有發揮我 玉樹臨風的魅力
I have to flatter her.
然後施展 眉目傳情大法
I want to tempt her,
引她說出真相
and make her tell me the truth.
為了問出真相
To find out the truth,
我要發揮我自己 風華絕代的魅力
I should flatter him.
撕開他的假面具
I want him to disclose his real identity.
茱迪
Judy!
百萬
Million.
茱迪
Judy!
王百萬
Million.
對不起 今天我有點累了
Sorry, I am tired.
我還是到書房去睡好了
I am going to sleep in the study room.
仁慈的上帝啊
My god,
求你賜一個 精壯的男人
My god, please give me a strong man.
到我夢中
Ask him to enter my dream,
阿里嘎多(謝謝你)
thank you.
真的好粗壯啊
Really strong.
連衣服都脫了
He is already undressed.
謝謝上帝 謝謝上帝
Thank god...
我來啦
I am coming.
少爺 少奶奶 下來了
Master and madam are coming down.
恭喜少爺 一本萬利 龍馬精神 大吉大利啊
Congratulations. Happy new year...
好
Always lucky...
- 大家恭喜啊 - 謝謝少奶奶
- Here is the red pocket. - Thanks.
誒 你快點發紅包啊
You give them lucky money too.
我紅包沒有帶誒 你借我幾個吧
I haven't brought them with me, give me some.
誒 來... 來啊
Here is the red pocket.
好 恭喜啊 恭喜
Congratulations.
- 恭喜發財 - 謝謝少爺
- Congratulations. - Thank you.
大吉大利
Always lucky.
謝謝少爺 謝謝少爺
Thank you.
喂...你結過婚了吧 是吧
You are married.
- 誒 是啊 我是結過婚了 - 還給我先 你的呢
- I'm married. - Give it to me, where is yours?
可是我還沒結婚呢
I am not married.
你拿的是我的
You have mistaken. It's mine.
你的在少奶奶那邊
Yours will be sent by madam.
哇 那邊一個人 發兩個紅包
See, they have got two per head.
這下發達了
That's good.
誒 恭喜 恭喜
Congratulations.
哦哈 黎警司
Officer lai.
- 不成敬意 不成敬意 - 你好 黎警司
- This is for you... - Officer lai.
哇 還帶這麼大的禮物來啊
That's very kind of you.
來探望王翁嘛 當然要花點錢了
I should send you some present.
黎警司啊 恭喜發財啊
Kung hei fat choi!
別這麼說啊 我們不能發財的
No, we can't be "fat choi".
一發財 廉政公署就要請去喝咖啡了
Because icac would suspect us if we get any extra money.
哦 那就 步步高升啦
Well, wish you to be promoted.
誒 這麼做可以 這麼做可以
That's good.
誒 王翁 你沒事吧
Mr. wong, are you fine?
哦呀 這個頭受傷了 總要點時間休息
You'd take a rest...
- 才能恢復 - 是啊 是啊
- ...for your head's hurt. - Yeah!
啊 對了 你們先聊會兒
Yes, take a seat,
我去拿年糕 給你們吃
I will fetch you some cake.
好 好 好
Good.
誒 坐下
Hey, Let's sit down.
怎麼樣 查到什麼沒有
How is it? What have you found?
我已經使出美男計 打算犧牲色相
I tried to seduce her, I won't mind sacrifice.
還是 套不出什麼來
But I can't get anything.
喂
Hey,
我看你還是 另請高明吧
Why don't you find another one?
- 你找死呀 - 廁子啊 倒茶
- Do you want me to kill you? - Give us some tea.
是 少爺
Yes, master.
我連炒魷魚那個傢伙 都找來幫你的忙了
I have given you an assistant who is suspended.
再找不到 真兇的話
If you can't get me the real murderer,
你乾脆 切腹自盡算了
you'd suicide in front of me.
只怕我還沒切腹 就已經先掛了
But I am afraid that I would be killed.
誰那麼大膽
Who dares kill you?
喂 他是誰啊
Who?
誒 穿貂皮 哎呀
Wearing mink skin, Oh.
妞來啦
A woman!
新年快樂 我的朋友
Happy new year! My best friend.
哇 這女人 怎麼光個頭啊
Your girlfriend is bald.
- 我的兄弟 新年快樂 - 喂
- My brother. Amigo. Happy new year. - Hello!
找哪位啊 先生
Who are you looking for?
大岳
Taior!
茱迪
Judy!
誒哎 茱迪
Hey, Judy,
百萬秀逗了 連我都不認識啦
Judy, what's wrong with million? He can't recognize me.
還記得一點點兒 他是大岳嘛
I do, you are taior, right?
不對 你從來不叫我大岳的
No, you never called me like this.
我該叫我什麼 說
What did you call me before?
- 說啊 - 說
Speak up.
是不是叫 大富大貴啊
Isn't it "damn you"?
大富大貴
Damn you?
大富大貴 可不是大富大貴啊
That's right, you fool!
- 豬頭三 - 不是啊
- Idiot. - That's right, you fool!
不是大富大貴 那就是豬頭三了
You mean "fool"?
不是 我是大富大貴 豬頭三
No, I am "damn you", you are fool!
噢 你是豬頭三吶
Yo u are "f ool"?
你是豬頭的三
You are "fool"!
你是大富大貴了
Are you "fool"?
他才是大富大貴啊
He is "damn you"!
不是啊 她不是大富大貴
Right, damn you!
她是大富大貴 你是豬頭三
Oh, you are damn you, and you are fool.
哎呀
Ah,
聽好了 別搞那麼複雜了
Make it simple.
全部都叫 王九蛋
Just call "scumbag" together.
- 哎 大過年的 - 怎麼這麼說話呢
How can you talk like this at the beginning of new year?
把嘴呸乾淨 再說
Say it again.
- 准呢 - 准呢
- Damn it. - You are great!
- 哎...對不起 - 這痞子 哪冒出來的
- Sorry… - Who is that scumbag?
他就是幫我 找到王百萬的 那個黎警司啊
He is officer lai who found my husband back.
哦
Oh,
我呢 一向很少跟這種 低級的小警員來往
I am not used to stay with such junior police officers.
我的迪斯科啊 今天晚上新開張 啊
My disco is newly opened.
兩位一定要早點來哦
You should come earlier tonight.
那裡面 有好多美女啊
I have asked many girls to join us.
誒 最合你的胃口了
You love it.
你說什麼
What did you say?
開玩笑的嘛
Kidding.
哎呀 糟了 忘了給我老頭拜年了
Shit, I forgot to visit my daddy.
誒 令尊翁他…
How is your daddy?
他已躺在安靈園 樂呵了
He died.
- 哦 那你趕快去吧 - 那我先走了 各位再見
I am hurrying to worship him. See you tonight.
- 待會見 - 拜拜
Bye bye.
不送了啊
See you.
嘿嘿
Hey hey.
他是王百萬從小到大的死黨
He is the best friend of million wong.
整天想霸占他的家產 嫌疑最大了
He always wants to seize wong's property. He is worth suspecting.
茱迪 你黏著兩撇鬍子 太囂張了吧
Judy, you look weird.
不服氣嗎 你也可以黏啦
Do you want it?
女人嘛 還用得著追嗎
It's not necessary to court a woman.
浪費時間啦
It's just a waste of time.
有錢就有女人
Where there's money there's woman.
拿點錢 砸到她躺下來
I will pay her money so that she would listen to me.
再拿點錢 砸到她愛我
I will pay her more money to make her love me.
錢 就像白粉一樣 會上癮的
Money's just drugs, one will be hooked on it.
誒 那你的白粉 可最多了
In that case, you got loads of drugs?
最近又泡上哪個女明星了
Which movie star are you courting lately?
誒 最近不泡女明星 我換胃口了
Have a change, not film stars now.
專泡那些剛剛出道 還在做夢的女強人
To court those working girl.
真過癮囉
That really turns me on.
怎麼個過癮法啊
Really?
誒
Oh,
我昨天 釣上個馬子 開花店的
The one yesterday I courted owns a florist shop.
真巧啊
Small world!
我今天泡的那個馬子 也是開花店的
Small world! The one I had also owns a florist shop.
我明天約的馬子 也是開花店的
The girl I am going to date tomorrow is having one as well.
請問一下 是哪家花店
Which florist shop is it?
誒
Oh,
你也想來排隊啊
What, you want to join the queue?
請示過老婆沒有啊
Have you got your wife's permission?
不用看我啊 我這人很民主的
Don't look at me! You can do anything you like.
百萬他想逢場作戲嘛
He wants to have fun too.
我不會在乎的
I couldn't care less.
我跳舞去了啊
I'm going to dance.
不許碰我的頭
Stop fussing about my head.
誒 大富大貴 教兩招 教兩招嘛
I just want to know
你說的開花店那個妞 怎麼個正點法啊
how nice is that florist shop owner.
怎麼個正點法呀 我是不會形容了
I don't know how to describe.
總之她是 眼睛大大的
Anyway, she's got big eyes,
誒 鼻子 高高的
pointed nose,
嘴巴小小的
sexy lips,
哇 雙峰插雲
a pair of nice tits,
夠了 這個哇 她叫什麼名字啊
What's her name?
啊 這個啊
Damn!
我泡那麼多妞 哪全記得呢
Damn! I just couldn't remember.
嗯 Ada 不對 不對
Ada? No.
誒 Patty 不對 不對
Patty? No.
Cindy 不對不對
Cindy? No.
總之啊 她床上功夫 可是一流的
Anyway she's great on bed.
從床頭搞到床尾 從床尾搞到床頭
From the bed to the floor,
從床上搞到地下 從客廳搞到廚房
from the floor up to the bed,
從廚房 再搞到客廳
from the bed to the kitchen...
哇呀 實在有夠賤啦
She is so cheap!
真是好賤吶
It's really cheap.
還有啊 我聽那馬子說啊
Another thing, she said,
她有個固定到站的 是當警察的
the boyfriend she's going to dump is a police as well.
那馬子在哪裡 快介紹我認識先
Where's she? I want her now!
幹嘛那麼猴急呢
Cool it!
我約了她 待會你就見到了嘛
We had a date, she'll be here in a minute.
- 是嗎 - 是呀
- Really? - Sure.
- 太好了 我補個妝去先 - 好...
- Let me make up first. - Okay...
來真
Really?
寶貝 給我一個吻
Baby! Give me a kiss.
- 咦 下流 - 痛啊
- So cheap! - So pain!
寶貝 給我一個吻
Baby! Give me a kiss.
好啊
Alright!
下流
So cheap!
你幹什麼
What's up now?
我找人
Just looking for somebody.
茱迪 有美女 也不介紹一下
Judy, why don't you introduce the beauty to me?
茱迪
Judy!
大貴 你跟我搶個什麼正面
Son of a bitch! Stop pushing!
你有美女 也不介紹給兄弟我認識
You keep the birds
還跟我搶
You want to hurt me?
這到哪也說不過去吧 你
You have had enough fun!
慢慢排隊吧 你
Take your time queuing up, you.
茱迪
Judy!
嗨
Hi!
啊 文靜啊 我來給你介紹啊
Let me introduce, she is called ching,
她是我公司裡 得力助手程文靜
she is our right hand,
這位是 王先生
this is Mr. wong.
我已經見過王先生了
We met before.
- 誒 是呀 是呀 - 公司裡 要是沒有文靜啊
- Yeah! - I can't imagine how troublesome if ching leaves my company.
- 真不知道 該怎麼辦 才好了呢 - 那絕對沒辦法
- We don't know what to do. - That's absolutely impossible
我不打擾二位了
I won't bother you.
誒 怎麼會呢 再聊會吧
Why not a chat?
- 拜拜 - 誒 拜拜啊
- Bye bye. - Bye bye.
看個屁啊 你
What are you looking?
整天就會泡妞啊 你
You always love watching girls.
不泡點妞 你要我幹什麼
What else am I going to do?
走 陪我跳舞去
Have a dance with me.
你在找誰呀
Who are you looking for?
在找一個人
Just looking for someone.
找剛才那個妞嗎
The bird you're with?
不是
No.
有沒有撒謊
Did you tell lies?
沒有
No.
你可不可以 專心地陪我 跳支舞啊
Can you concentrate and dance with me?
你們兩個 偷偷在親熱啊
How sweet are you two!
你上哪兒去了啊
Where've you been?
那個馬子來了 本來想介紹給你
- My girl had come, I was going to introduce you to her.
她人呢
Where?
已經走了
She's left!
等以後有機會 再這個…
Never mind, make it next time.
- 他頭髮 還蠻有型的 - 是
- What a nice hair style. - Yes.
我很欣賞他
I admire it.
大鼻妹 我們今天晚上要開派對 你也有份呢
We are having a party tonight, are you coming?
還待這裡 幹什麼
Go and search
快帶幾個馬子來啊
more girls to join us.
好啊
Fine!
好什麼
What are you doing?
沒什麼 我在想以前的事情
Nothing, I remember something.
來 我們來玩點新鮮的
Why not play something new?
新鮮的
New?
我們今天晚上 要開派對
We are having a party tonight,
你也有份呢 大鼻妹
you must come, Big nose.
還待在那邊 幹什麼
Why are you standing here?
哎呀 你有點笑容 行不行啊
Stop frowning,
你家裡死人了啦
smile.
我們今天晚上 要開派對
We are having a party tonight,
你也有份呢 大奶妹
you must come. Big busts.
大鼻妹妹啊
Big nose.
誒...對不起啊 誒
Sorry.
我們今天晚上 要開派對
We are having a party tonight,
大鼻妹 你也有份囉
Big nose, you must come.
你還待在那邊幹什麼 快找幾個馬子來呀
Why are you standing here, go and get more girls to join us.
停 做得好
Cut! Very good.
真難做
What a job.
誒...你到我房間 來幹嘛呀
Why do you come into my room?
我媽快回來了耶
My mom will be back soon.
你媽
Your mom?
我只告訴她 你是來幫我補習的呀
I tell her that you are my tutor.
讓她知道 她會生氣的耶
If she knows it, she'll be furious.
我媽說啊
She told me...
不能隨便 讓男孩子進我的房間
...not to let boys in.
不能隨便 讓男孩子親
No kissing.
不能夠隨便 跟男孩子 那個了
No... too.
對白輪到我了嗎
Is it my turn now?
你說什麼
What are you on about?
說什麼 我怎麼知道說什麼
What? I don't know.
你還說你不知道啊 上次露營的時候啊
Remember the camp last time?
三更半夜偷跑進來 親人家一下
You walked in my camp and kissed me.
噢 那就不親了
Well, let's stop here,
我到書房睡覺去了啊
I am going back to the study room.
哈...人家就是 想要問你
I just want to know...
今天晚上 為什麼不親了
...why don't you kiss me tonight.
親過你 是不是就可以到書房 睡覺了
Well, can I go back to the study room after kissing you?
你先親啊
Give me a kiss first.
上次你親的 不是這裡
Not here!
哇 不是這裡 是哪裡啊
Where then?
誒 茱迪
Hey, Judy,
做人 不要太得寸進尺啊
Come on Judy, don't go too far.
你好壞
Naughty!
怎麼樣 壞一下 不行嗎
So what?
嗨喲
Ah.
來囉 來囉… 來嘛
Come on...
好啦 來就來
I won't care!
哇
Wow!
你們兩個小鬼 找死啊
What are you doing?
哇靠 你也來撈一份啊
Hey, you have a part too.
打死你個臭小子 我打死你們
I want to beat you to death.
你們兩個 胡作瞎搞 胡作瞎搞
What are you doing here? How dare you court my girl,
不打死你不行
I want to beat you to death.
你怎麼老打我 你怎麼不打她呢
Don't just beat me, you should beat her too.
她是導演 不能打的
She is the director, I can't beat her.
我打死你 你竟然敢泡我的女兒
How dare you court my daughter?
還泡上了床
And sleep with her.
你這個臭丫頭 不知羞 你不知恥
How dare you!
真丟我們家的臉呢
You make me feel shame.
那是你們的家醜 不可外揚 我走先啊
It's not wise to tell others this scandal. I am leaving.
我頂
Damn it!
你這個臭小子 跪下
You bastard, kneel down.
你這個臭小子
You bastard,
占了我女兒的便宜 還想跑
how dare you seduce daughter!
伯母 這句話要改
You shouldn't put it that way.
我從來不要 便宜貨的
But I was pushed to do so!
這種話 你也說得出口啊
How can you talk like this?
你真是沒人性啊 玩完就想跑
You are inhuman! You want to leave my daughter alone?
我不玩啦
I'm out.
你照著學 照著她學
Do it, go on acting.
你看看
Look,
你看看這個人哪 沒人性 沒心肝啦
Look, he is heartless!
我可不管了 我去跟你老爸說
I must go and tell your dad.
你們下個月就結婚
You are getting marry next month.
啊 又結
Marry?
- 不好嗎 - 不好嗎
- No? - are you going to marry?
好了 結就結 動作快點啊
Ok, make it quick!
這就對了嘛
That's good, hurry up!
以後啊 你們兩個人 要好好地做人
You should be good from now on.
我還有事 不管你們了
I am busy, Excuse me. C860
- 你囉哩囉嗦 快點啦 - 你們愛怎麼樣怎麼樣
- Go, hurry up! - You can do whatever you want.
誒 媽答應我們結婚了 繼續吧
My mom approves to let us get married.
- 還沒玩完呢 - 還來
- What? - Again?
誒... 時間到了 該收工了
Time's up, game over!
我們分房睡這麼久了 你一直沒找過我
You haven't noticed me since we slept in separate rooms.
你外面有多少女人 我也從來沒管過你
I've never said a word about all those women you had.
我只要你一晚上誒
I want you for just tonight!
這樣都不行嗎
Can I?
這樣都不行嗎
Can I?
你怎麼都變成這樣子
Why not?
為什麼
Why?
你不要哭了
Stop crying,
我不是那種人 我很專一的
I'm not the type. I am a loyal man.
再說一次
What's that again.
我說 我這個人 很專一的
I am a loyal husband.
老婆 我只要一個 就夠了
I am a loyal husband. I want only one wife.
快說 你愛我
Just tell me you love me.
我愛你
I love you.
再說一次
Again.
我愛你
I love you.
抱緊我
Hold me tight.
看什麼 混蛋
Stop staring!
看你怎麼還沒給人 撞死啊
I wish you would be run over by the car.
轉身 轉身
Give us a twirl.
臥你老母啊 還真騷啊 居然穿花襪子
Damn you! You are so cocky to wear the patterned socks.
幹什麼 小子
What do you want?
撿東西啊 老子
Just to pick up something.
幹嘛 小子
What do you want, twit?
撿東西呀 老子
Just to pick up something.
你在幹什麼呀 掃地啊 快進來吧
What are you doing? Get back inside. Would you?
我在撿銅板嘛
Nothing, just pick up the coins.
喝紅豆湯
Come and eat the red bean sweet soup.
- 來 - 啊
- Come on. - Ah。
今天 怎麼沒什麼生意啊
Not much business today?
新開張 是這樣的
Not so good, because it's newly opened.
不見得吧
Kidding?
我聽說昨天 有好多人來找你啊
Quite a few of peoples came for you yesterday.
是 你又知道了
Oh yeah, how do you know?
誒 你的痣呢
Where is your mole?
- 哎呀 在這裡 - 誒 好誒 嘿
- Here. - Bravo!
我的紅豆湯 很好喝啊
This is nice.
你不覺得 太硬了
Don't you think it's chewy?
一顆很硬
Just one.
當然啦 連我的痔都吞了
Of course, that's my mole.
啊
What?
痔做紅豆湯 也這麼好喝啊
Does it taste better with the mole in it?
你們慢慢聊 我先走了
You two go on, I just go out for a minute.
你去哪裡啊
Where are you going?
替人家 送花給老婆啊
To deliver flowers to someone's wife.
哪像你啊 既沒人 又沒錢 又沒花
Unlike you, you have no money and no flower.
拜拜
See you.
- 你就是這樣的 - 你又來幹什麼啊
- You should be blamed. - What do you want again?
我來喝紅豆湯 24小時保護你啊
I come to eat the sweet soup and to protect you.
- 那我走好了 - 誒
- Why don't you stay then. - Wait.
林大岳那幫人 今天晚上要到我家 來賭梭哈
Taior and his gang are coming to play cards tonight.
我想應該可以 查出點線索
I think I can get some clues.
誒 你小子 走狗運了
You are wise...
我號稱 警界的梭哈王
...to search for my help.
晚上有我幫你 你一定可以當一票啊
I'll take care of you tonight, because I am the gambling king!
找什麼
What are you looking for?
沒事
Nothing.
情況如何
How is it?
一切正常
Everything normal.
有沒有帶錢
Do you have money?
你不知道 我是白頭神探囉
You know I am called the gambling king of the police department?
你有白頭髮
I don't think so!
白吃白喝的頭號神探啦
You will know it later.
- 誒 - 嗯
- Hey, - What?
王兄 你的痣呢
Mr. wong, where is your mole?
誒 點掉了
Removed.
那是富貴痣
But it brings you wealth.
是嘛
Really?
啊 因為我錢太多了 所以想減少一點
Because I have much money, I don't want more!
好辭 好辭
It's very wise of you!
好
So well.
那我們就照老規矩了
Let's follow the old rules.
什麼老規矩啊
What?
賭現金啊
Gamble in cash.
噢 那是當然的了 當然
Sure! Sure!
最多加二十萬
Maximum credit is $200,000.
哇 真是零錢囉
Isn't it the change?
全部家當
This is all I have.
一萬塊全下了 王先生
Mr. wong, $10,000 as base.
黑桃八誒
It's an eight.
小九 也能說話
A nine can have the 1st call.
五萬好了
Make it $50,000.
怎麼辦
How is it?
五萬再加十五萬
$150,000 more.
一定唬住他們
We'll get rich if we get all the base only.
哦 好 是嗎
I see.
跟啦
Follow.
怎麼 沒零錢了
But you should show us the money.
零錢呢
Where is the change?
零錢
Change?
誒 那個誰啊
Hey, over there...
我去找那個誰 你坐到
I'll go and take the money, sit here.
老婆 拿個百八十萬 來頂一頂先
Honey, give me few millions.
誒 我們一向都是 各賭各的
We have separate account, you know?
你家裡不是還有 三千萬的現金嗎
But you have 30 million cash put inside the house.
我忘記放哪兒了嘛
I have forgot where it is.
你那麼聰明 一定會想起來的 嗯
You will remember, you're smart.
- 誒 不是的 - 打哪個好啊
What should I do?
打這張
Get rid of this.
- 真的 - 是啊 輸了算我的
- Really. - Yes. Trust me.
九筒
Nine circles.
哎呀 我胡了 胡了
- Bingo! - Me too.
一炮三響
Me too.
死鬼
Damn you!
黎Sir在哪裡啊
Where is Li Sir?
在CID房裡爽呢
Having fun in CID room
小王八羔子 我打死你
You bastard!
我還有重要事情 跟你商量
What's the matter?
什麼事 比我打人重要
Can't you see I'm hitting someone?
還要兩百萬塊錢 很急的
I want you to give me 2 million for gambling.
要兩百萬 說沒搞錯
Are you kidding?
好小子 敢偷襲我
How dare you counter attack?
這兩百萬塊錢 你無論如何 不能省
You should give me 2 million.
我哪來兩百萬現金給你啊
How can I get 2 million for you?
大岳 要到我們家來賭錢
Taior comes for gambling,
如果沒有錢的話 就穿幫了
if I've no money, our secret will be disclosed.
那大家 就都玩完了
Then we will be in deep shit!
快點拿來吧
Hurry up.
你先放手啊
You go first.
那你答應了 我就放手
You promise me to let go.
你去市場買東西喲
Where have you gone?
不好意思啊 我的零錢亂扔
I am sorry, I went to get some money.
結果被工人撿回去了
The money is not well kept.
工人又住得好遠
I put it inside the maid's room which is in yuen long.
說那麼多幹嘛 都在等你啊
Cut the crap, we are waiting for you.
發牌
Deal cards.
發牌
Deal cards.
八一對說話
A pair of 8, it's your turn to call.
這樣啊 我梭
I want to show…, So... I'm all
再熬一陣子啊
Hold it, just to tempt them.
我們先下少一點
Nothing special,
先下二十萬啦
Nothing special, just $200,000.
二十萬
$200,000?
再加八十萬
Plus $800,000
跟了
Fallow.
三條八誒
3 eights.
不用說了 全扔出去
No hesitation, just show hand.
報紙呢
Newspaper?
全都扔出去
Throw it out, too
三條八
3 eights?
哼 沒多少錢嘛
Shit, it's not much!
跟
Follow!
不跟
I quit.
我三條A
I have 3 aces.
我就不信 你有四條八
I don't believe you four eight
贏錢 不必那麼激動
Don't be that nervous.
老兄弟 別哭啊
Don't cry, pal!
我四條八
4 eights.
怎麼回事啊 我剛才底牌 明明是八的
Why? I have had an eight!
你走前的那一把啊
The round you had before you left.
當然啦
But
現在不是那一把的了
we have played many rounds after that.
你沒告訴我啊
You didn't tell me.
你也沒有問我啊
You didn't ask me.
回來了 贏了還是輸了
You are back? Win or lose?
你看我的頭 就知道了
You can tell from my head.
輸光了
A great loser.
你不是說 你是賭王嗎
You said you are the king of gambling.
我有說過嗎 我
I didn't mention it.
我提過一下
I have mentioned it.
你
You...
那現在 怎麼辦呢
What'll we do now?
你再拿一百萬來翻本啦
Give me 1 more million to gamble again.
我馬上發揮 我賭王的本色
I will show them my real power.
啊 還想要拿一百萬啦
You want 1 million more?
我把警察局的贓款和保釋金全都拿去
What I gave you was the money
給你們兩個賭去了
from the bailing account.
現在人家到警察局來討債啦
Now, we are asked to return the money.
你們不把兩百萬 拿回來的話
If you don't give us back the money.
就買好船票 準備跑路吧
You should be in fugitive!
那你先借我一點錢 讓我買船票
Please lend me money for the tickets.
啊...你...
You...
- 如果不拿一百萬出來 我們就完蛋的了 - 懶得理你們
- Give us one million more. Or we'll be in deep shit! - You idiot!
誒...
Hey...
誒 喂
Hey,hey.
這一百萬 要再輸了 怎麼辦呢
What would you do if you lose that again?
反正都是死 就再賭一下嘛
Anyway, let's take risk.
老兄 我們也是混飯吃的
Why do you beat me? I am making a living only.
別打了
Whom are you hitting?
又在扁兩個衰鬼啊
A racketeer.
在扁兩個老千呢
A racketeer.
嘿 老千這麼尊貴的人 怎麼能亂打
Why don't you respect such decent professionals?
他們騙了人家 兩萬塊錢
He cheated $2.
哪個白痴 被他們騙了
Who is cheated by him?
那個白痴 就是我
It's me.
連白痴都騙 扁他
Hit him
扁了
Hit him
啊 賭聖剋星 洪爺
What? The greatest enemy of the Saint of gambling: Master hung!
Hello 你好嗎
Hello, How are you?
好你個頭啊 輸到準備跑路了
Well, what lost to escape
老兄 你叫他們別打我們
Pal, ask them not to beat me.
我教你老千速成法 保你贏
I will teach you how to cheat on the gambling table.
行 不過要先露兩手來瞧瞧
But, show me something first.
有沒有搞錯 還沒有回來啊
Kidding! Where has he gone?
十六圈都打完了 還沒有回來
We have finished 16 rounds, he hasn't returned!
搞什麼鬼啊
What is he doing?
回來了 回來了
He is back!
各位觀眾
Hey, my dear audience...
這個架勢 挺眼熟的
He looks smart!
不知道 你學的是誰啊
He looks familiar.
你猜猜看吶
Who are you acting?
啊 我知道了
Guess.
賭聖
Gambler
錯
Wrong.
是大衛魔術
I am acting as David Copperfield.
哇
Wow.
發牌
Deal cards!
我三條K
I have 3 King.
我三條A
I have 3 aces.
我同花順
My flush.
我大你個同花順
I'm bigger than your flush
我四條A
4 aces.
我A 五條
5 aces?!
那個傢伙 教的這一套 還真靈誒
What master hung taught you are powerful.
贏死他
Win as much as you can.
我要趁這個機會 查出謀殺王百萬的真相
Find out the truth about the murder of Wang wanwan
一百萬
One million.
跟你
I will follow
A說話
Aces, it's my turn to call.
你輸昏了 牌面同花順說話
You're a fool in the same boat
梭了
Show hand.
我才不相信你是大衛魔術 我照跟
I don't think you're David Copperfield, I will follow.
我...
I...
我只剩五毛了
I have 50 cents left.
欠你五百萬
5 million as credit, ok.
不用欠
Forget the money,
只要你回答我一個問題
I want you to answer me a question.
我就當你是跟了
Then I will forget the money.
什麼問題呀
What question?
你曾幾何時 有沒有想過 要殺死我啊
Have you ever thought of killing me?
回答我
Answer me.
我...
I...
回答我 你
You answer me.
不玩了 不玩了
I want to quit!
問些這種問題
Your question is nonsense.
- 走 - 是
- Let's go. - Yes.
不玩了 撈錢了
Just take the money.
錢是贏到手了 真相查到了沒有
Have you found the truth of the case?
真相就是…
The truth is...
我的底牌是小四 那個白痴居然不玩了
I had a four only, but the idiot quitted.
大哥 你沒事吧
Boss, are you alright?
還錢
Give me back the money.
怎麼個還法
Just return the loan.
贏的那些 不用分給你了吧
We needn't give you a share of the money we won!
借錢 不用付利息啊
But you should give interest.
誒
Hey,
就照銀行最低的利息 算給他好了
Ok, just follow the bank's rule.
哇 那很少啊 才兩厘七五而已
Cheap interest rate, 2.75%.
兩百萬 除以365天
$2 million is divided by 365.
噢 25塊 給你30塊 不用找了
Just $25 is charged, keep the change.
再來張 提提神吧
Take one more.
這樣多好啊 不傷和氣啊
You'd have done that earlier.
查案有沒有進展呢
Any progress?
我發現那個茱迪·湯 越來越奇怪
I have found that Judy tong was suspicious.
我想她的背後 一定有個不可告人的秘密
I think she is having a secret.
還有那個林大岳呢
And that taior lam...
太膚淺了
Don't look only at the surface.
我在蘇格蘭場 受訓的時候
When I was trained in Scotland,
曾經研究過 世界所有奇案的案情
I have studied all the extraordinary precedents.
包括 東方快車謀殺案
Including the murdering case of the eastern express.
尼羅河謀殺案
The murdering case of river nile.
電話情殺案
The murdering case from fatal attraction.
國會選舉舞弊案 等等等
And the hidden corpse under the stove.
發現了一個 重大的原則
I have found out a principle.
什麼原則
What principles?
嫌疑越大的人 越不是兇手
The bigger the suspect, the less likely he is
靠
Shit!
我同意 難道真的像國語裡面說的
I agree! It always happens in movies.
最沒有嫌疑的 才是兇手
The least suspect is the killer.
可以這麼說
You can put it in that way.
兇手可能 表面上不認識死者
the murderer may or may not know the victim.
相貌平凡 不高不矮
the murderer looks common, not high or short,
孔武有力 有暴力傾向
He or she has the inclination of violence acting.
喜歡 隨便亂打人
Likes to hit people casually.
極度貪婪
Maybe a money digger,
甚至可能 連三四十塊 都不放過
Maybe a money digger, or is greedy for money.
照這麼說 那兇手肯定就是你囉
As what you have said, the murderer may be you.
來人啦 抓起來
Man, arrest him.
喳
Yes sir.
哎...誒...
Ah...Hey...
你們瘋了 你們 秀逗
Are you crazy?
對不起 長官
Sorry sir.
照我推理 應該是這樣的
It's just theory.
我們言歸正傳
By the way,
你在湯茱迪家 查出什麼線索
you can't get any clue from Judy tong's home.
就立刻到辦公室 去查查林大岳跟王百萬
See whether there're any conflicts between wong & taior in office.
在生意上 有沒有過節 而產生殺機
May be they have had quarrel in business which made him kill.
你不是說 最有嫌疑的人 不會是兇手
You said the most suspicious one isn't the murderer.
那是屁話了
It's bull shit,
還不快去查
why don't you go and check now?
讓我先去 辦幾件重要的事情 行不行啊
Let me finish the most important thing first, ok?
愛你三百六十年
Love you 360 years.
豈有此理 根本沒把我放在眼裡
Damn it, you just forget about me!
謝謝
Thanks.
姦夫淫婦
Bitch and bastard.
姦夫淫婦
Bitch and bastard.
手起刀落
I wanna kill!
刀
Knife?
哇靠
Shit!
門
The door!
隨便坐
Taking a seat.
謝謝你送的花
Thank you for the flowers
花襪子
People in fancy socks
不要這樣
Don't.
你知道 我有男朋友的
I have boyfriend, you know that.
雖然 他沒有什麼錢
Although he is poor...
又自私 又小氣 又囉嗦
and selfish... He is mean and old fashioned.
不是說我
She doesn't mean it.
可是 他始終是我男朋友
But he is my boyfriend.
我不能接受你
I can't accept you.
誒
Hey,
你不要這樣
Don't...
不要啦
Don't!
不要這樣 誒
Don't!
我殺你個老母
I will kill you bastard!
是你
It's you?
是你
It's you?
是你
It's you?
其實我說 是要殺 你這個小騷貨
Kill you asshole
誒...你不要難為她嘛
Stop it!
你幹嘛拿把刀呢 快點放下來了
Hold it,
誒 等等等 聽我說先
listen to me first.
我已經 跟蹤你很久了
I have tailed you for a long time.
原來 你是來找 這個小狐狸精啊
You come to look for this bitch!
我
Me?
怎麼 三根手指頭全指著你 還問
Why are you still asking?
你是哪根蔥 哪根蒜呢 想跟我王百萬搶老婆
How dare you seduce my wife?
- 對啊 - 我現在問你啊
- Right. - Tell me now,
你是愛我 還是愛她呢
Do you love me or her?
哎呀 玩玩的嘛
It's just for fun.
玩玩的嘛 笨蛋 那人家是在玩你的
Just for fun.
狐狸精 蜘蛛精
You fox spirit, you spider spirit
破壞家庭 你要錢了 是吧
You want money, don't you?
好啊 要錢 是吧
Ok, it's just money!
- 來啊 給你啊 - 請你別這樣
- Come on... - Don't!
大嫂啊
Oh, Old woman.
拿去啦 拿去呀 拿去呀
Hey, money!
怎麼 錢都給你了 你還不滾呢 你
What? You are paid, why don't you leave now?
你們兩個
You two...
好 我走
Ok, I am leaving!
誒 阿敏 阿敏
Ah man...
誒 這是你家 你上哪去啊
This is your home, where are you going to?
對呀 這裡是我家誒
Yes, this is my home!
誒誒 你們兩個滾啦
You two, leave here at once.
快滾
Hurry!
- 阿敏 你不要生氣嘛 你聽我說 - Shut up
Amin, don't be angry. Listen to me
你還說 到樓下去等我
Wait for me downstairs.
我還要多罵 這小蜘蛛精兩句 才開心
I will give this bitch a good lesson.
走了 還看
Go, what do you want?
走就走嘛
I won't give it a damn.
誒 我再一次 嚴重警告你啊
I warn you seriously!
以後 不許再見 我的老婆
Never see my wife again.
否則 見一次 我K你一次 知道嗎
Or I will beat you! Got it?
喂 人家都已經走了 你還在這演戲
She has gone, why do you keep on acting?
剛才 你罵得很過癮 是嗎
Don't you feel it funny?
演戲 當然是這樣的嘛
We should act!
你覺得 我剛才演得怎麼樣啊
Don't you think my acting was good?
爛透了
Poor!
有沒有搞錯啊 我以前演話劇 得過獎誒
Kidding? I got a prize in drama acting!
你是很爛嘛
But you acted poorly.
我還沒問你呢
How could you be
你怎麼會 被這個女人泡上的
courted by that woman?
哦
Oh,
我看她人很好啊 又常常來買花
She is nice and she always buys flowers from me.
有空 就陪她逛個街 喝個茶囉
So I date with her when I'm free.
誰知道 她外表是女人 內在是男人吶
I can't tell she is a lesbian!
哎 真沒想到 會是她
I can't tell it's her!
誒 人家還在外面等你呢
She is waiting for you.
還不下去
Why don't you go now?
走啦
Go!
等我把這個案子辦完了
I will accompany you
我就整天陪著你 好不好
all day after this case, ok?
嗯
Yes.
誒
Hey,
我買了樣東西 送給你
I have bought you something.
真的 是什麼
What is it?
花襪子
Fancy socks.
燒掉它
Burn it
王先生
Mr. wong,
早
good morning.
啊...早啊
Good morning.
- 你好 - 王先生 早
- Hello - Mr. wong, good morning,
王太不在誒
Mrs. wong is not around.
- 我知道 - 誒 裡面停電呢
- I know. - There's no power inside.
沒關係
Never mind,
- 我進去拿杯水而已 嘿 - 啊
- Never mind, I just want to fetch a cup of water. - Okay.
哦 今天早上送來的
This is sent in this morning.
什麼事呀
What's the matter?
沒事 你出去吧
It's find, Get out
你一定有事
There must be some problem with you.
說了沒事 就算有 也不關你事啊
Nothing to do with you!
出去
Get lost.
注意
Pay attention.
千萬不要用打火機看
Don't light up with the lighter.
什麼意思啊
What does it mean?
白蘭地啊
It's Brandy.
老闆
Boss.
喂
Hello?
大岳啊
Taior?
噢 什麼事啊 帥哥
How is it?
你怎麼拍到我們的
How did you get my picture?
哦 用照相機拍的啊
By camera.
我已經注意你很久了
I have waited for this chance for ages.
沒想到你 還有這種嗜好啊
But I can't imagine you have courted this one.
這些火辣辣的照片
I think the gossip magazines
那些內幕雜誌 一定很有興趣哦
are interested in such pictures.
你小心折壽
You bastard!
啊 我是一定會短命的啦
I don't mind.
所以 要多存點錢 好好享受享受啊
What I want is money.
如果說 你想拿回那些 三點都露的照片
If you want the pictures back,
晚上到公司來
come to my office at 7pm.
你想怎麼樣
What do you want?
請接消防隊 麻煩
Fire station, please.
快說
What's the matter?
這裡是消防隊
Here is fire station.
說話呀
Who is it?
請問你們 賣不賣雨衣啊
Are there any raincoats for sale?
買雨衣去7-11 混蛋
Go to buy it in department store, damn you!
你罵誰混蛋 你是什麼態度啊
Who are you scolding? Who are you?
你是幾號接線生
You are so impolite!
你別掛掉啊 喂 喂
Don't you hang up, hey,hey.
你欺人太甚
Yue, you've been deceiving people too much
不來的話 你一定會後悔
You will regret if you don't come.
好啊 不要妨礙我做運動了啊
Don't bother me from doing exercise, see you at 7.
王先生 你怎麼了
Mr. wong, what are you doing?
喝水嘛 不是告訴過你了
Drinking, I have told you.
啊 你踩爛了我的晚餐 還有宵夜
You stepped on my food,
你快賠錢來呀
pay it to me.
小姐 找哪位
Miss, who are you looking for?
林大岳先生約我來的
I have a date with Mr. lam.
哦 請跟我來
Follow me please.
進來
Please come in.
請
Please.
我一看到你來 我就爽了
I am so happy to see you.
去把上半年的資料 給我拿來
Give me the file of the 1st 6 months,
任何電話 我都不接
I won't listen to any call.
是
Yes.
請坐
Take a seat.
廢話少說
Don't waste time!
你要多少錢呢
How much does it cost…
一次解決 把照片都還給我
...to return the photos to me once
哎呀 你千萬不要誤會
Don't misunderstand it.
我林大岳 雖然不是很有錢
I am not that rich!
不過十億八億 還沒放在眼裡
But I won't be interested in 10 or more billions.
你以為我想勒索你啊
Don't you think I want to blackmail you?
那好吧 你開價啊
Give me a price.
哎呦 都是老朋友了 談錢傷感情
It's not good to talk money among good friends.
其實啊 我是要拿錢給你
But I do want to give you money.
啊 我查到了
I have checked...
你家裡那個王百萬 一定是假的
I have checked that your existing husband is a fake one.
我可以幫你解決 決不留下任何後患
I can kill him for you, but you don't have to take any responsibility.
另外再給你三億 買你尖沙咀那塊地
And, I will give you 3 billion for the land in wanchai.
你去搶好了 那塊地值二十幾億呢
You bastard! The land costs over 20 billions.
對呀 我是說過十億 我不看在眼裡啊
That's why I won't be interested in only 10 billions.
但是 二十億就差不多了
I want 20 billions.
王八蛋
Damn you!
千萬不要罵人哪
Don't scold me with foul language.
你一罵人 就破壞你在我心目中那種
Which will damage your image...
高貴美麗的形象
As a pretty lesbian.
賤人
Bastard!
- 你 - 你什麼
- You! - What?
三天之內 律師樓辦手續
Let's sign the contract 3 days later.
要不然我把你的照片滿街去發
Or, I will send you pictures to Portland street.
送到內幕雜誌去登
And to the gossip magazines.
誒
Hey,
看什麼 鬼鬼祟祟的幹嘛
What are you looking?
偷東西呀
Stealing?
不是 那邊有兩個女人 沒穿衣服
No, there is a naked beauty.
我不相信
I won't trust you.
哎呀 你過來看一看先啊
Come and take a look.
如果我過來 你從後面把我打昏了 那怎麼辦
I am afraid you'd attack me if I go near you.
就算你不過來 我一樣要打昏你
Even you don't go, I can attack you too.
嘿 怎麼啦
- 剛才 那個穿西裝的 拿東西打我 - 快追
- A man in a suit knocked me out just now. - Go and chase after him.
- 誒 有沒有看見一個穿西裝的 - 嗯
- Have you seen a man wearing a business suit? - No.
那邊
This way.
假的 假的
Thief!
誒 什麼聲音呀
What kind of noise is it?
有聲音嗎 沒聽到啊
I don't think so.
讓我逮到 我打死他
I will break his neck if I see him again.
你查那邊 我查這邊
Go that way, I will watch over here.
色…
Wool...
色狼啊 救命啊
Wolf! Help!
在那邊 在那邊
This way.
是他
It's him.
你上啊
Arrest him!
我都換了工作 你還纏著我 快抓他
I changed my job, but why do you still bother me?
快滾吧 花痴
Go, you bitch!
把牙套 還給我
Give me back my teeth.
啊 是你呀 誒 新噱頭啊
It's you! It's fashionable.
新個屁呀
What is it?
你猜 是誰殺了我
Guess who wants to kill me?
誰呀
Who is it?
提示一下我啊
Give me some hints.
誒
Hey.
啊 是她
It's her?
王八蛋 你亂按什麼電梯 去死
How dare you!
臭小子 九七還沒到 就給我人民幣
How dare you give me rmb notes?
你以為 老娘是瞎子啊
Don't you think I am blind?
留著九七用吧
I will throw you to death!
回來啦
Are you back?
誒 你氣喘如牛的 你上哪去了
Where have you been?
我還問你 上哪去了呢
I am asking you!
我上哪去了 我一晚上都在這邊打牌啊
I have been playing mahjong all night.
我能上哪去啊
Where have I been?
你打了一個晚上的牌
Are you playing mahjong all night?
啊 我們打了十六圈了
We played 16 rounds.
誒 你老公 沒毛病吧
What's wrong with your husband?
他呀 當然有毛病了
There is something wrong with him.
哇哦 穿這個鬼樣子
You looked so weird,
你上哪去了
where have you been?
哎呀 這什麼呀
What is this?
- 啊 - 嗯
- Ah, - What?
嗨呀
Ah.
血耶
It's blood!
你又去殺人了啊
Did you kill?
我憋...
I...
被我嚇得 憋不出話來了吧
What's wrong with you?
老夫老妻了 你還這麼開不起玩笑啊
I am making fun with you only.
誒 後天是我們結婚七周年紀念日
The day after tomorrow will be the 7th anniversary of us.
我想開個舞會 慶祝一下
I want to hold a party to celebrate it.
你說 好不好
Do you agree?
嗨喲 幹嘛癟著個嘴嘛
Don't be angry.
嗯 親一下
Let me give you a kiss.
誒
Hey.
你真嚇我一跳
You scared me.
哇
Wow.
黎警司 請隨便拿杯酒喝
Officer lai, help yourself.
誒 好
Right.
林大岳死了 你知不知道
Do you know lam was killed?
知道
I do.
我快死了 你知不知道
I am going to die, do you know that?
我也知道
Yes, I do.
再查不出兇手 你也快死了
If you can't get the murderer, you'll die too.
誰是兇手 我已經有了 九成把握
I am quite confident to point out the murderer.
到底是誰
Who is it?
你先別急
Don't be anxious,
我的第七感 告訴我說
Don't be anxious, my 7th sense tells me that...
今晚 會有結果
There will be a result tonight.
今晚真正的兇手 會露出他猙獰的面目
The real murderer will show up tonight.
- 不許動 - 雙手放頭上
- Don't move. - Put your hands on you head.
是你
It's youl!
王先生 我有話 想跟你說
Mr. wong, I have something to talk to you.
- 誒 - 嗯 誒
- Hey, - Yes.
噢噢 我知道 我知道
I know what to do...
誒...不好意思啊 請大家到那邊去
I am sorry, please go over there.
謝謝合作 不好意思 不好意思
Thank you for your co-operation.
請到那邊去
Please go over there.
誒 人都走開了 你說吧
You may talk now.
主要是 要你走開
In fact, I want you to leave alone.
早點說嘛 人都是有自尊心的
You should tell me earlier, it cut my pride, you know?
王先生 你要看著茱迪
Mr. wong, take care of Judy.
茱迪怎麼了
What's wrong with her?
不關她的事 真的跟她 一點關係都沒有
It's none of her business, nothing to do with her.
你說清楚一點
Tell me clearly.
到現在 我沒辦法 只好告訴你了
I can't help telling you now.
其實她…
In fact she...
其實什麼 你快說啊
Be frank, tell me!
是啊 有話 你就說呀
Right, be frank and speak up.
誒 我好喜歡這首曲子
I love this music.
陪我跳舞 來
Dance with me, come on.
- 嗨 王先生 - 嗨
- Mr. wong. - Hi.
年年開派對 今年特別高興
We hold party every year, but this is the happiest one.
你呢
How do you feel?
這就夠了 只要你高興就好
Your feeling is most important.
你看起來好像 不太高興的樣子
It seems that you are not very happy.
你說呢
What do you think?
任何人做任何事情啊 都一定有他的原因的
There must be some reasons for one to do something.
我認為 任何人做任何事…
But I think, anybody do anything...
都一定會有報應 才是真的
There must be Karma.
那殺人的原因 是什麼
What's the reason of killing somebody?
你告訴我啊 茱迪
Tell me, Judy!
為什麼不說話
Why don't you talk?
沒什麼
No matter.
我在想 如果你真的是王百萬
I am thinking that, if you were million wong...
那該有多好啊
That would be very good.
你早知道 我是假的
You know I am fake?
我第一眼看到你 我就知道了
I knew it on the first day I met you.
你還沒有回答 我的問題
You haven't answered my question.
噓
Hush.
不要破壞我對你 僅存的那點好感
Don't make me dislike you.
我跟百萬 最近幾年相處得很不好
Million and I were not living happily in these years.
這幾天
In these days,
你又讓我回憶起 我跟他初戀時候的 那份感覺
you recalled the sweet memory of ours.
那時候 我們都沒有錢
We were poor in those days.
但是很真
But, our love was true.
誰知道 他發達之後
When he got rich,
他就越來越花心
he loved fooling around.
而我…
And I...
也就越來越變態
I changed emotionally.
越來越恨 當女人
I hate being woman.
還想當男人
I want to be man.
想當一個 可以跟他競爭的男人
To be a man whom can compete with him for woman.
但是 你來了之後
But when you came here,
卻使我有了 還想當女人的感覺
you made me feel like woman again.
我不想知道 你到底是誰
I don't want to know who you are.
我只要求 今晚…
I just want tonight...
你可不可以 全心全意
Can you play...
演好你所扮演的角色
...your role whole-heartly tonight?
老公
Hubby.
今晚 我要你陪我
I want you to accompany me tonight.
好不好
Will you promise me?
我先去補個妝
I want some make up.
你剛才 還沒說完呢
You haven't finished.
你懷疑 誰是兇手啊
Who are you suspecting to be the murderer?
我懷疑是茱迪
I suspect it's Judy.
怎麼會是她呢
How come?
因為林大岳死的那晚 我也在場
I was in the scene when taior was killed.
我是跟蹤茱迪去的
I tailed Judy to the scene.
雖然我沒有親眼 看見她動手
Although I didn't see her kill,
但是當時除了她 沒有別人在場
there wasn't anybody around.
為什麼不早點說呢
Why don't you tell me earlier?
說啊
Go ahead.
我也不知道 為什麼
I don't know why!
你有沒有搞錯呀
Are you kidding?
你先聽我說嘛
Hold it, listen to me first.
就算真是茱迪殺的
Even Judy did kill taior,
我也肯定她有苦衷
I am sure she had her reason.
有什麼苦衷啊
What reason?
殺了人 就是殺了人
She was the murderer!
你是警察
But you are a cop.
別真的把她 當成你老婆了 臭小子
Don't treat her as your wife.
王翁啊 好久不見了
Mr. wong, long time no see.
你好 你好 你好
How are you?
- 我不打攪你們了 - 拜拜 拜拜
-I'm not interrupting you. - bye
你還知道些什麼 快點說出來
Tell me the rest that you know.
我想 她還會再動手
I think the murderer will kill again.
動什麼手
What?
動手殺那些 知道她秘密的人
To kill those who know the secret.
喔啊 還好 我不知道
Luckily I don't know any secret.
現在知道了
You know it now.
我也知道
I know it too.
還有一個 程小姐
There is another one who know this...Miss ching!
那你還不快去通知程小姐
Why don't you inform her now?
我立刻布下天羅地網抓她
I will arrest her by all means.
快去啊
Go now.
是我啦
It's me.
誒 嚇死我了
Don't look like this
乖 別怕
Don't be afraid.
我想出了 這個妙計
This is the most wonderful idea.
戴上這個人皮面具喲
I have had masked.
真兇見到了我 一定會嚇昏倒的
The real murderer would be fainted once he looks at me.
我就會把他 繩之以法的
I will arrest him right away.
先把面具戴上
Let me put on the mask.
你好
Hello!
- 這麼多真兇啊 - 我都被你嚇死了
- What's wrong with this? - You scared everyone!
人家不會看新聞啊 蠢豬
They have seen the newspaper about the death of taior, you idiot!
那怎麼辦
What'll we do now?
你馬上到茱迪房間去
Go up to Judy's room and watch.
包你有收穫
You will get something! I am sure.
有收穫
You mean reward?
我的噴子呢
Where is my gun?
誒 我做這麼危險的事情 還把噴子還給你
To do such dangerous thing, you asked me to return your gun?
你以為我是白痴啊
Don't you think I am idiot?
我們今晚 一定要替大岳哥報仇
We should take revenge for brother taior.
大岳哥 一定是被王百萬夫妻 給殺死的
He was killed by the million wong and his wife obviously.
你們進去以後 要小心行事 啊
You should be careful!
放心吧
Don't worry.
請
Please.
請
Please.
啊 好久不見了
Hey, long time no see
哦 原來 你有其他的男人了
You have another boyfriend.
以後 你不要來找我啊
Don't come to me again.
你誤會了
It's a misunderstanding.
最新的舞步啊 大家跟著跳啊
Maybe, this is a modern dance. Let's follow them.
小姐 請你跳支舞 好嗎
Miss, may 1?
過來
Come here.
程小姐 你現在處境 很危險
Miss ching, it's very dangerous.
又是你這個色狼
You are the wolf!
我為了你 換了十幾個工作
I changed many jobs because of you.
現在來參加舞會 還逃不過你的魔掌
And I can't escape from you in this party!
啊 這真是天意啊
This is fate!
來吧 來吧 來上我吧
Ok, come and rape me.
誒...你誤會了
It's a misunderstanding.
誒...來嘛 來嘛
Hey, Come on...
一次解決 以後不要再來煩我了
just once, never bother me again.
- 來嘛 來嘛 - 哎呀
Come and rape me. Damn it!
看 死得多難看啦
The victim died so horribly!
他怎麼死的啊
Isn't it a heart attack?
- 嘿 - 幹嘛
- Hey. - What?
那邊有人 被十字弓射死了
A person was shot dead by an arrow.
啊
What?
就是他
That's him.
嘿 不要動他 警察就快到了
Don't move, the cops are coming.
誒
Hey,
我剛才去樓上看了湯茱迪
I watched Judy tong upstairs.
她沒有出過房門半步
She hasn't left her room.
中計
We are trapped.
我不喜歡 你管我
I don't want to be controlled.
我做什麼 自有分寸
I want to go my own way.
茱迪 你這樣做 不會有好下場的
Judy, there won't be any good to you.
你不要破壞我
Don't bother me.
茱迪
Judy
你滾
leave now,
今晚上 我不想再看到你了
leave now, I don't want to see you.
哈 打
Ah, Hit you...
啊 誒 是你啊
It's youl!
我剛找到了兇器 想拿來給你看看
I have picked the killing weapon and I want to hand it to you.
你出手還真重啊
You should not hit so heavily!
不要動手
Don't move!
茱迪
Judy!
不許動
Don't get mad.
我早就知道 兇手是你
I know you are the murderer.
對
Yes,
全部都是我做的
Yes, I did all the cases.
誒 噴子 還給你
Take back the gun.
做得好 你升定了
Good job, you must be promoted.
升到哪裡啊
How?
你說呢
What do you think?
誒... 我們的工錢 還沒算呢
Let's calculate the salary first.
怕你啊 算就算了
Ok, just go ahead.
- 走 - 走
- Go! - Go.
對不起 對不起 讓一讓 讓一讓啊
Give way please.
對不起啊 借過借過 讓一讓 讓一讓啊 讓
I am leaving, hubby.
我走了
I'm leaving,
老公
hubby.
哎呀 幹什麼了你
Ah, What are you doing?
你絕不會相信 剛才發生的事
Do you know what had happened?
剛才 發生什麼事了
What happened?
你知不知道 兇手已經抓到了
The murderer is arrested.
那兇手 到底是誰
I see, who is the murderer?
- 原來兇手就是 - 茱迪 是嗎
- The murderer is... - Judy.
她在離開之前 跟你眉目傳情
Before taking her away, you showed great affection to each other.
還在你左邊臉頰 親了一下
She kissed your left armpit.
我怎麼會知道的 表哥全都告訴我了
I know it, my cousin told me that.
絕對不是
It's totally wrong.
絕對不是
Totally wrong!
你敢說 沒有嗎
How dare you deny?
絕對有
I won't!
但是 不是在左臉頰
But, she didn't kiss my left armpit.
那在哪兒
Where did she kiss?
阿敏
Ah man,
總之 請你相信我心目中 只有你一個人
trust me, I love you only.
我也心甘情願 接受你任何的懲罰
I am willing to take any punishment you offered.
來 來懲罰我啊
Come on, punish me.
來 來吧 寶貝
Come on...
誰有空 懲罰你啊
I won't punish you.
那我就要懲罰你了
Well, then I will punish you.
你好壞啊
You are bad.
誰叫你耍我啊
You hit me?
來呀
Come on.
怎麼 你也玩這套啊
Where did you get this?
是你叫我 懲罰你的嗎
You said you are willing to be punished by me.
反悔了 是不是
Isn't it alright?
怕不怕呀
Are you scared?
我怕得要死啊
I am really scared.
看你下次還敢不敢 亂給人家親
Are you willing to be kissed by others?
不敢了吧
Dare you?
誒 你把我解開來先嘛
Loose me first.
誒
Hey.
你幹什麼啊
What are you doing?
洗澡
Bathing.
來 寶貝 不要再浪費時間了
Let's not waste any time.
嗨呀 老婆啊 過來啊 快點
Honey, come on over.
纏住了
It's jammed.
纏住了
It's jammed.
懲罰我啊
Punish me.
來 寶貝
Come on! Baby!
來吧
Come on.
來吧
Come on.
來吧
Come on...
是你
It's youl!
你太多事了
You are nosy!
阿敏 阿敏
Ah man! Ah man.
你害死了茱迪
You dragged Judy down.
說什麼 你說什麼 我沒聽清楚
What? Repeat once more.
我要替茱迪報仇
I want to take revenge for Judy.
我聽不出你說什麼 再說一次
I can't hear clearly, repeat once more.
啊 剛才說什麼
Ah, what did you just say?
我說 我要替茱迪報仇
I want to take revenge for Judy.
我還是聽不清楚啊 你再說一次
Can you repeat again? I can't hear clearly.
耍我
Fooling me?
看你個頭
Do you want peeping?
神龍擺尾
Watch out!
擺啊 擺啊 擺擺擺啊
How dare you!
壓死你 我壓死你
I wanna kill you!
我問你老母啊 你真的插我啊
Damn it, how dare you stab me like this?
你來真的啊 問你老母
Do you mean it?
不是插你
It's not stabbing,
是要剁你
I am going to open you!
啊
What?
看什麼看呀
What are you staring?
我跟你拚了
I want to kill you!
誒 老大 這個玩笑開大了
Please don't!
這不關我的事哦
None of my business.
我知道 我知道
I know!
你玩完了
You are over,
該我了
it's my turn now.
那倒未必
Not exactly!
我還要謝謝你呢
Thank you.
你實在太低估我了
Don't you think I am useless.
哎呀 我的腳怎麼那麼臭啊 臭死我了 哎呀
Why do my feet smell so bad. I am cramping.
這些就是
These are...
林大岳偷拍的湯茱迪 跟程文靜的裸照
...the dirty pictures of Judy and ching.
程文靜 不只是個同性戀
Ching is not only a lesbian.
還是個精神病患者
She is insane too.
有嚴重的暴力傾向
She has an inclination of violence acting.
她要殺死 所有愛湯茱迪
She wants to kill those who loves Judy
還有 傷害湯茱迪的人
and those who harms Judy.
所以 先殺王百萬 後殺林大岳
So she killed million wong first. Then she killed taior lam.
湯茱迪把那晚的情形 全說出來了
Judy confessed the situation of that night.
你不可以愛上 那個假王百萬
You can't fall for that fake million wong.
我不喜歡 你管我
I don't want to be controlled.
我做什麼 自有分寸
I want to go my own way.
他是假的王百萬
About this fake million wong.
只有殺了他 我們兩個 才能有好日子過
We can have bright future if only he is killed.
你瘋了你
You are crazy.
我瘋了
Am I?
是你變了心
It's you who has changed.
王百萬打你
Wong hit you.
我就替你報仇 替你殺了他
I took revenge for you. So I killed him.
啊 百萬是你殺的
It's you who killed million?
怎麼樣
So what?
我還殺了林大岳呢
I killed taior too.
你以為 我不知道
I knew it.
他拍了我跟你的裸照 來勒索你嗎
He took our dirty pictures to blackmail you.
像他這種人
Such rubbish.
只有殺了他 才不會威脅到我們
Only a dead one would do no harm to us.
原來 全都是你做的
You did everything.
為什麼
Why?
我所做的一切 全都是為了你
For you only.
我現就去 殺了他
I am now going to kill him.
不許你殺他
I won't let you do so.
你喜歡那個臭男人
Are you falling for that man?
放開我
Get lost.
不要 不 不可以
No, no...
難怪那天晚上 她連我都想殺
That's why she wanted to kill me.
那麼那天晚上 想用箭射死我的 也是程文靜
Ching wanted to kill me with the arrow.
那為什麼 湯茱迪要這樣護著 程文靜呢
Why Judy wanted to protect ching?
湯茱迪跟她 有很深的感情
She has deep affection with her.
一時衝動 就全扛下來了
So she took all responsibilities herself.
嗯
Yes.
這個女人 真是
She is...
真是什麼
What?
怎麼樣 也不關你的事 對不對
None of your business, you know?
對呀
Yes.
那就好了
That's right.
這案子 辦得很好
You have done a great job.
還一件臥底的案子 等著你
You are assigned to another case, to be undercover again.
- 什麼 - 嗯 你開什麼玩笑啊 你
Are you kidding?
這是命令
This is an order!
命什麼令啊
Is this an order?
- 啊 你 - 誒
- You... - Ah.
不要你啊你的 叫我長官
Be polite, call me sir.
廉政公署自認錯誤 撤銷對我的控訴
Icac admitted that it was a mistake to charge against me.
我復職了
I resume duty now.
真的啊 表哥
Isn't it true?
嘿嘿 當然啦
Sure.
啊 復職有什麼了不起啊
No big deal.
大不了跟我平起平坐
You may have the same rank as mine.
誒 你錯了
You are wrong,
上頭說你 整天亂K人
the head said that you always bully your subordinates.
現在 要停你的職
You are suspended now.
所以 不要等到九七
So, before 1997,
我現在 就要你好看啦
you will be bullied by us.
你敢打我
How dare you?
我跟你拚了 我
So what?
誒 你們倆 幹什麼了
Stop it please, stop.
放手啊 表哥 放手啊 不要打啦
What are you doing? Hands off please.
誒
Hey,
勸什麼勸啦 他們兩個 打死一個 少一個吧
Just leave them alone.
周星星
Chow sing-sing,
- 外面有人找你 - 啊
- someone is looking for you. - What?
誒 財神狗
Big mouth.
是你啊 大鼻妹
It's you, big nose.
你沒事吧
Are you fine?
當然沒事了
What?
誒 今晚開派對誒
We are having a party tonight.
嘿 我帶了好多馬子來啊
I have bought many girls with us.
誒 派對
Hey, party!
誒 你愣在那兒 幹什麼
What are you waiting for?
還不快點 多找點帥哥 啊
Bring some boys to join us.
帥哥
Handsome guy
好好好 下次 下次啊
Fine, make it next time.
你們玩得開心點啊
Enjoy yourself.
好 拜拜
Fine! bye bye!
片尾曲 : 把所有的愛都留給你
等等我啊
Wait for me!
每一次 離開你
都覺得 捨不得
我知道你等我 滋味難受
每一次 見到你
都想要 告訴你
你對我 多麼重要
人在天涯 心裡是你
情話 只好放心底
擁抱世界 擁抱著你
永遠不變 我的心
把所有的愛 都留給你
把所有思念 留給自己
雖然 我不能在你身邊
我的心 希望你能看見
把所有的愛 都留給你
多少的風 說你愛我
飄泊
我依然聽見 你對我說 你愛我