1887年 中国紫禁城
我已经跟你说过了
我刚收到哥哥的来信
他在美国挺好的
他问候你 爹
你已经没有哥哥了
有刺客 Boxers!
别再往前走了 Not one step further.
玉玺的看护人 The keeper of the Imperial Seal.
我要找的人 Just the man I was looking for.
一个女人 A woman.
你们中国人进步很快 You Chinese are very progressive.
这是老朋友给你的礼物 A gift from an old friend.
乌超 Wu Chow.
他让我问候你 He wanted me to send his regards.
爸爸 Father!
爸爸 Father.
玉玺 你必须要夺回来 The seal. You must get it back.
我答应你 I promise.
把这个给你哥哥 Give this...to your brother.
你在看什么 What are you reading?
哦"罗伊·欧班纳对决木乃伊" Oh. "Roy O'Bannon vs. The Mummy."
难以置信 It's incredible.
罗伊打败了整个木乃伊军队和 Roy's just taken out the Mummy's entire army
蛇神联盟的士兵 而他只有一颗子弹 of zombie confederate soldiers, and he only had one bullet.
不可能 That's impossible.
哦 不 可能 Oh, no, it's not.
罗伊想出了利用峡谷 Roy figured out the physics of the canyon
让子弹在峡谷壁上反弹 and then ricocheted a bullet off the canyon wall.
打中了每个蛇神士兵的心脏 Nailed each zombie through the heart.
那个上海小子怎么样了 What about the Shanghai Kid?
他在第10页中被抓 He was captured and knocked out on page 10
当他擦罗伊枪柄上珍珠的时候 while he was polishing Roy's pearl handles.
你不用担心 Don't you worry.
罗伊将把他从死亡中救出来 Roy's about to save him from becoming a human sacrifice.
那些故事都是骗人的 Those stories are all lies.
不 看这 No. See?
背面这写了 It says right here on the back.
作者塞奇·麦考利斯特 他所有故事 "Author Sage McCallister bases all his stories
都是基于第一手资料 on firsthand accounts."
对不起 警官 没有公主的信 Sorry, sheriff. No princess.
每天中午你都等她 Every day you meet the noon stage.
每天都一样 Every day it's the same story.
她不会回来了 She's not coming back.
佩佩已经嫁到三番了 Pei Pei's married to her work in San Francisco.
时髦女人 Modern woman.
警官 你有包裹 Sheriff, you got a parcel.
嘿 说不定是她寄来的 Hey, maybe it's from her!
不 是我妹妹从中国寄来的 No. It's from my sister in China.
我知道 I know.
我知道 我必须要走了 I know. I must go.
在这给新长官做匹好马 Stay here and be a good horsey for the new sheriff.
长官 那辆马车朝东 Uh, sheriff, that stage is headed east.
中国不是在这西边吗 Isn't China kind of west of here?
我不回中国 我要去纽约 I'm not going to China. I'm going to New York.
罗伊用我的钱做了投资 Roy invested my money.
他真住在里兹大饭店顶上的阁楼里 Is it true that he lives in a penthouse at the top of the Ritz
无数美女围着他 surrounded by dozens of beautiful women
被他呼来唤去 at his every beck and call?
那时以前的罗伊 That's the old Roy.
他已经结婚了 都安定下来了 He's married, settled down.
相信我 他已经变了 Trust me, he's changed.
那时候他们人比我们多 So there we were. Completely outnumbered.
他没告诉我们没机会嬴 He didn't have to tell me we didn't stand a chance.
所以我把那个上海小子和公主送到后面 So I send the Shanghai Kid and the princess out the back.
可怜的上海小子 他被吓坏了 Poor Shanghai Kid. He was so frightened.
我救了他 可他却没有谢我 He forgot to thank me for saving his life.
我以前就是那样 I'm used to that.
接着 我来到前面 我数到3 Now, I returned to the front, and I counted to three...
然后冲了出来 and I burst out of the mission.
枪柄上的珍珠在闪烁着 子弹乱飞 Pearl handles blazing. Lead flying everywhere.
可没一颗打中我的 And not a single bullet touched me.
不可思议 呵 No! Yeah.
皇帝的金子呢 What happened to the emperor's gold?
我们把它分了 Well, we divided it up.
我坚持要把我的那份分给那些印第安人 I insisted on giving my share to the Indians.
那些野人 The savages?
请不要再叫那些高尚的人为野人 Please don't ever call those noble people savages.
如果你对自己的身体引以为豪 If being proud of your body
每天光着身子等着车接送会让你变成野人 and wanting to ride around naked all day makes you a savage,
哦 天哪 你在和一个野人喝酒 then, by God, you're drinking with a savage.
那是你怎么叫法国吐司 And that is what you call a French toast.
你真狡猾 欧班纳斯先生 You are so sophisticated, Mr. O'Bannon.
哇 Whoo!
谁去拿点香宾 Who's up for some more bubbly?
举起手 罗伊 Reach for the sky, Roy.
再说一次 Say that again.
举起手 罗伊 Reach for the sky, Roy.
姜文 Chon Wang!
你这个狡猾的小子 You sly son of a gun!
瞧瞧你 瞧瞧你 Look at you! Look at you!
你怎么来纽约了 我的那份黄金 What brings you to New York? My share of the gold.
让我想想 什么黄金 Refresh my memory. What gold?
皇帝的金子 The emperor's gold.
好把 现在 那些金子在 Okay, now, that gold is in
华尔街做长线投资 what the Wall Street pros call a longterm investment.
我们不能用它 因为它还在赚钱 We can't touch it because it's building.
我今晚就要 I need it tonight.
你刚到 让我们来庆祝一下 You just got here. Let's celebrate.
不 我没时间了 No. I don't have time.
你刚到大城市来 我爸爸被杀了 You just got to the big city. My father's been killed.
姜 我 Chon, I'm...
你要钱回去办葬礼 You need the money to get back for the funeral?
不 我要去英国 船今晚开 No. I must go to England. The ship leaves tonight.
你爸爸死在英国了 Your father died in England?
中国 我妹妹跟踪凶手到了伦敦 China. My sister followed the murderer to London.
等一下 凶手 我有点懵了 Wait. Murderer. I'm a little bit mixed up.
让我看看你是否能直截了当告诉我 Let me see if I can get the facts straight.
你有个妹妹 你从没告诉我你有个妹妹 You have a sister? You never told me you had a sister.
她长得漂亮吗 还是像你 诚实点 Is she pretty or does she look like you? Be honest.
罗伊 我要我的钱 Roy, I need my money!
我不喜欢你说话的语气 I don't like that tone of voice.
你认为我偷了你的钱 You think after all we've been through I'd stiff you?
我很了解我自己 I'm doing pretty well for myself.
对 Yeah.
对不起 罗伊 没什么 I'm sorry, Roy. That's okay.
你现在日子不好过 You're going through a really tough time right now.
你得学着相信别人 好吗 You got to be more trusting of people, okay?
看着我 我是罗伊 Look at me. It's Roy.
5号桌的那对已经可以点菜了 The couple at table 5 is ready to order.
你在这工作 Do you work here?
不 我不在这工作 No, I don't work here.
看起来这些家伙穿的衣服跟我很象 It looks like these guys are wearing a similar jacket.
罗伊 这是你的小费 Roy, here's your cut of the tips.
这是最傻的事了 It's the craziest thing.
我想是因为我总来 I guess because I come in here so much
他们错认为我是这的服务生 they're mistaking me for a waiter.
真令人尴尬 你把金子输了 It's embarrassing. You lost the gold.
不是所有的 其余的在哪 Not all of it. Where's the rest?
我有句话要告诉你 飞艇股票 I have one word for you. Zeppelin.
我要我的钱 就现在 I need my money now!
放松 放松 Easy, easy.
你愿意为这些钱做任何事吗 Will you do anything for this money?
是的 我今晚必须走 Yes. I must leave tonight.
好吧 拿着这钥匙 Okay. Take this key.
到房间 洗个澡 Go to the room. Get cleaned up.
你的老友罗伊有个主意 Your old pal Roy's got a plan.
去吧 快 Go! Come on!
你好 大男孩 Howdy, big boy.
什么 What?
那有个女人 她想让我跟她睡觉 There's a woman in there! She wants me to sleep with her.
她当然想 Of course she does.
我告诉她中国出名的不仅仅是 I told her the Great Wall ain't the only big thing
长城 coming out of China.
你为什么要那么说 因为你能拿到钱 Why did you say that? So you could get the money.
我不会为了钱和那个女人睡觉 I will not sleep with women for money!
为什么 Why?
我会为了钱和她睡觉 I'm gonna sleep with her for money.
姜 回去做你该做的事吧 Chon, just go in there and do your business
想想你在英国的妹妹 and think about your sister in England.
什么 罗伊 What? Roy!
职责所在 罗伊 Duty calls. Roy!
晚上好 市长先生 Good evening, Mr. Mayor.
他们在哪 Where are they?
谁 Who?
我的女儿 My daughters.
10楼 10th floor.
罗伊 罗伊 你有麻烦了 Roy? Roy, you got trouble.
罗伊 Roy!
我要去查点事 我马上回来 I got to check on something. I'll be right back.
姜 新计划 我们要走了 Chon, new plan. We got to go.
姜 你在干什么 Chon, what are you doing?!
我在给她治背 I'm fixing her back.
把她放下 你个废物 Put her down, you decadent Philistine.
嘿 姜 快点 走吧 Hey, Chon, come on! Let's go!
拜拜 拜 Byebye. Bye.
快点 Come on!
我不明白 怎么了 I don't understand. What's going on?
没时间解释了 I don't have time to explain.
你要知道的是有坏人在跟着我们 All you have to know is there are bad men after us...
但我是好人 but I'm in the right.
罗伊 你要相信我 Roy. You gotta trust me on this.
好吧 看 Okay, look.
这是我生命中的变迁时期 I'm in a transitional phase in my life.
但是 但是什么 But... But what?
你要知道真相 You want to know the truth?
我现在有点失落 I'm a little lost right now.
我了解你 你有志向 I see you. You've got a sense of purpose.
但是看看我 我是个30岁的侍应生 男妓 But look at me. I'm a 30yearold waiter/gigolo.
有什么将来 Where's the future in that?
那计划是什么 So what's the plan?
你一直是我的榜样 姜 You were always my compass, Chon.
计划 你问我正确的问题 The plan. You ask me the right questions.
计划 The plan?
计划 我想是找个合适的女人 The plan, I think, is to find the right woman.
生好多孩子然后教他们 Raise a lot of children and teach them values.
不 罗伊 离开这的计划 No, Roy. The plan to get out of here.
好 计划 有了 Okay, the plan. Here we go.
警察 警察 他们可以帮我们 Cops! Cops! They can help us.
不 不 姜 不是这些警察 No, no. Chon, not these cops.
这些是坏警察 他们向人们要好处 These are dirty cops. They take advantage of people.
现在 如果他们拦下我们 Now, if they stop us,
记着 我不是罗伊欧班纳斯 remember, I'm not Roy O'Bannon.
你是谁 Who are you?
我是你朋友 从西部来的亡命之徒 I'm your friend Smoky Desperado from the West.
那我是谁 And who am l?
你 你是班尼哈那 You. You're Benihana.
班尼哈那 对 Benihana. Yeah.
你在这城市里教残疾儿童逾迦 You teach crippled children yoga here in the city.
你先走 不 为什么是我 You go first. No! Why me?
因为你掺合进来了 好吗 Because you blend in, okay?
现在 走 不要跟他们说再见 Now, go! Don't let them see you!
班尼哈那 Benihana.
嘿 嘿 Hey! Hey!
哦 Ooh.
姜 Psst! Chon!
快点 别浪费时间 Come on. Stop wasting time.
你 You!
姜 我找到离开这的票了 Chon, I found our ticket out of here.
我们起程了 We're on our way.
看起来想老的罗伊又回来了 Looks like old Roy came through again.
就象以前 姜 Just like old times, Chon.
查查这边 Check over there!
那条巷子 那边 Over to the alley! That way!
对 就象以前 Yeah, just like old times.
你能不能暂时不想金子 Will you forget about the gold for a second?
你将会有比你做梦还要多的钱 You're gonna have more money than you ever dreamed of
当把飞艇股票卖掉的时候 when that first zeppelin takes off.
为什么我总是相信你 Why do I always believe you?
你什么意思 What do you mean?
你应该庆幸我没把钱投到 You're lucky I didn't invest
荒谬的汽车股票 in that ridiculous automobile idea.
对 那会赚很多钱 Yeah, that's gonna make a lot of money.
那是什么 What's that?
狗窝 我在狗窝里 Doghouse. I'm in the doghouse.
哦 快点 姜 Oh, come on, Chon.
对不起 我说了谎 Look, I'm sorry I lied.
我只是不想让你失望 I just didn't want to disappoint you.
那就是我想要说的 That's exactly what I mean.
我忍受不了你那表情 I can't take that look.
我从我爸爸那学的 I learned it from my father.
他过去就这么看我 That's how he used to look at me.
你爸爸是干什么的 他是宫廷侍卫吗 What did your dad do? Was he an lmperial Guard?
不 No.
更重要 Much more important.
他是玉玺的看护人 He was the keeper of the lmperial Seal.
那就是我喜欢中国的原因 That's what I love about China.
每个人的工作听起来都很酷 Everybody's job description sounds so damn cool.
自从成吉思汗以后 The seal has been symbol of the emperor's power
玉玺象征皇帝的权力 since Genghis Khan.
是一代代传下来的 It has been passed down from one emperor to another.
我们家族已经保管了12代了 My family have been watching over it for 12 generations.
12代 12 generations?
我和爸爸曾经一起讨论国家大事 My father and I used to skip stones across the moat
说有天我会继承他的事业 and talk about a day I would follow his footsteps.
我是他唯一的儿子 I was his only son.
如果当时我在 我就可以保护他了 If I'd have been there, I could have protected him.
不是你的错 你在3000英里以外 It's not your fault. You were 3,000 miles away.
那小盒子是什么 What's with that little box?
我妹妹寄给我的 爸爸转交给我的 My sister sent it to me from my father.
里面有个消息 说什么 There's a message inside. What's it say?
是个难题箱 我不知道怎么他开它 It's a puzzle box. I don't know how to open yet.
什么意思 What do you mean?
拿个锤子砸烂它 你就可以知道里面说什么了 Get a hammer and smash it open so you can see what it says.
我必须要有耐性 I must have patience.
到我可以打开它的时候 By the time I'm able to open it...
我就可以看那个消息了 I will be ready to read the message.
快点 顽固 Come on, Confucius.
那是我所听过的事中最土的一个了 That's the corniest thing I've ever heard.
让我看看这个 Let me see this.
你知道吗 You know what?
我们要去英国 We're gonna go to England.
我们要找到杀你爸爸的凶手 We're gonna find your dad's killer.
我们要把玉玺夺回来 We're gonna get that seal back.
不会有任何奖励的 罗伊 There's no reward for this, Roy.
我说过要奖励了吗 Who said anything about a reward?
我在说友谊 忠诚 荣誉 I'm talking about friendship, loyalty, honor.
好吗 Okay?
谢谢 罗伊 Thank you, Roy.
我听说英国是个温柔乡 And I hear England is ass soup.
有很多美女 A lot of pretty girls there.
第一个有请 First order of business, my Lords...
是一份报告 我们尊敬的朋友雷斯本大人 is a report from our esteemed friend Lord Rathbone...
他最近刚从中国的 一个外交任务中回来 who recently returned from a diplomatic mission to China.
各位同僚 Fellow Lords...
我恐怕从东方带回来一个 令人困扰的消息 I'm afraid I bring disturbing news from the Orient.
鸦片战争已经蹂躏了大地 The opium wars have ravaged the land.
皇帝的敌人也已经组织起来了 The emperor's enemies are organizing.
最狠毒的就是刺客 The most vicious are the Boxers.
一群无神论的叛乱者杀人不眨眼 A godless band of rebels who murder without discretion.
中国已陷入困境 China is not well.
我带回来了一个特使 他将带给我们一些 I have brought back an envoy who should give us some insight
对中国无法预测精神的洞察力 into the inscrutable mind of the Chinese.
他疯了吗 Is he mad?
皇帝给了维多利亚女皇最高权威 Given to Her Majesty Queen Victoria by the emperor
为她在位显赫的50年以做酬答 in recognition of her 50 glorious years on the throne.
蛮横的家伙 Outrageousness!
女皇万岁 Long live the queen.
杰克和职业杀手再次对决 Jack the Ripper strikes again!
号外 号外 看看吧 Extra! Extra! Read all about it.
你好 伙计 Howdy, partner.
英国人不友善 The English are not very friendly.
他们只是痛恨失败者 They're just sore losers.
他们输了什么 What did they lose?
一件小事叫美国革命 姜 A little thing called the American Revolution, Chon.
从没听过 Never heard of it.
我会告诉你些精彩的部份 I'll give you the highlights.
他们去了大概100万人 They came over with about a million men.
我们只有一群农民那着干草叉 We had a bunch of farmers with pitchforks
象打鼓似的把他们打败了 and beat 'em like a drum.
嘿 我在这走着呢 Hey! I'm walking here!
你走错了 You're driving on the wrong side of the road!
一群业余的家伙 这些人根本不懂 Bunch of amateurs. These people don't get it.
你好呀 女士们 Hello, ladies.
瞧瞧你 Look at you.
什么 难道我不能看漂亮小姐吗 What? I'm not supposed to notice a pretty lady?
我以为你想安顿下来 有个家庭 I thought you wanted to settle down and have a family.
我是这么想 姜 我希望我能 I do, Chon. I just hope I can.
为什么不能 Why not?
有时我担心 Sometimes I worry that all the damn horseback riding
我在西部骑马 I did out in the West,
在那个硬马鞍上跳上跳下可能 bouncing up and down on the hard saddles might have made it
使我的三文鱼不再逆流而上 象它们应该的那样 so my salmon don't swim upstream the way they're supposed to.
什么 What?
哦 我在对牛弹琴 I might be shooting blanks.
哦 Oh.
什么也别说 Don't say anything.
罗伊 没事 Roy, it's okay.
有些人不想有个家庭 Some people are not meant to have a family.
我和孩子一直有个特殊的关系 I've always had such a special connection with children.
那些跟在你后面的小骗子 The little ankle biters.
嘿 看着点 小鬼 Hey, watch it, you little punk!
对不起 先生 Pardon me, guv.
你们迷路了吗 You gents lost your way?
是的 我们在找我妹妹 Yeah. We're looking for my sister.
她住在牛津街32号 She's staying at 32 Oxford Street.
我对那很熟 我和一个老头曾经住那 I know it well, guv. Me old man used to live there.
能告诉我们怎么去吗 Can you show us the way?
记不清了 Well, memory's a little dodgy.
但我确定我能带你们去 But I'm sure for a bob I could get you there.
你想从我们这得到什么 以为我们是乡巴佬 What do you take us for? Okies from Muskogee?
到别处去卖你那些废话吧 Go sell your bullshit someplace else.
我们不要 We're not buying.
谢谢你的小费 先生 Thanks for the tip, guv.
嘿 你偷了我叔叔的表 Hey! I stole that watch from my uncle!
什么 What?
这边 This way.
过来 你这个小乞丐 Come here, you little rubbish eater!
我告诉过你偷我们的草皮 有什么后果 查里 What did I tell you about poaching on our turf, Charlie?
老实说 我什么都没干 I'm on the straight and narrow. Honest.
那这是什么 What's this, then?
我打你以后 After I'm through beating you...
你会希望你从没从仓库里跑出来 you're gonna wish you never ran away from the workhouse!
放了那孩子 Leave the boy alone.
该死的观光客 离开这 Bloody tourists! Get your noses out of it!
你可以对那孩子做任何事 Do whatever you want to the kid...
但那是我的表 but that's my watch.
我们人比你们多 Well, there's a load of us and only two of you.
滚 So piss off!
放松 伙计 你说错了一个字 Easy, fellas. You've lost one war this way.
别再犯同样的错 Don't make the same mistake twice.
快点 追他 Come on! After him!
嘿 Hey!
在那呢 抓住他 There he is! Get him!
我们抓到他了 快 梯子 We've got him now. Move in, lads.
孩子 孩子 等等 Boys, boys, wait, wait!
快点 抓住他 Come on! Get him!
该死的梯子上面 Up the bloody ladder!
嘿 嘿 Hey! Hey!
哦 小心 Oh! Watch it!
嘿 Hey.
啊 Ah!
你过来 Come here, you!
酷 Cool.
快点 Move it!
你 You!
你看见了吗 Did you see that?
没事了 It's okay.
没事了 Okay?!
我管那个叫宫爆鸡丁 I call that one my kung pao chicken.
我拦下了那个混蛋 I clotheslined the sucker.
快走 Come on, get back!
清除 Clear away!
让开 Make way!
我想你们应该配合我到院子里去 I think you gentlemen should accompany me back to the yard.
这不是院子 是监狱 This isn't a yard! It's a jail!
罗伊 冷静点 Roy, calm down.
难以置信 Unbelievable.
等一下 有人来了 Wait! Someone's coming!
让我来处理 让我来吧 Let me handle this. I'm gonna handle it.
英国人不像你 The English aren't like you.
他们没有感情的 很容易发火 They don't get all emotional. Touchyfeely.
帮我个忙 Do me a favor.
你打 我说 Park the kung fu. Let me do the talking.
过来 让我给你个拥抱 Come here. Let me give you a hug.
哦 Ooh!
我跟了舰队街那帮家伙两年了 I've been after that Fleet Street gang for two years.
你们俩把他们全打到了 Then you two come along and bring them down
在一个下午之间 天才 in a single afternoon. Brilliant!
现在 恩 Now, um...
哦 那是我的表 Oh, that's my watch!
是的 一个街市小孩送来的 Yes. A street urchin turned it in.
那小鬼最好别把表弄花了 The little punk better not have scuffed it.
我希望你的运气是拣的 你说什么 I hope your luck picks up. What do you mean?
我从你的表推断出你被打了一拳 I deduced from your watch that you'd hit a rough patch.
是的 你怎么知道 He has. How do you know?
是我研究的一种新调查技巧 It's an investigative technique I've developed.
我可以从一个个体推断出内在细节 I can deduce intimate details about an individual
通过一个精密的审查 他们的随身物品 through a close scrutiny of their personal effects.
还能说出别的什么 What else can you tell?
这个表的主人是个赌鬼 The owner of this watch is a bad gambler
还是个恶心的人 and a lousy shot.
尽管他死里逃生好几次 Although he's cheated death several times...
他花了他生命中大部份时间 徘徊在一个宁愿可悲的 he spends most of his life wandering in a rather pathetic
和无用的调查 为了某种目的和尊敬 and futile search for purpose and respect.
哦 对了 Oh, yes.
他有放纵女人的倾向 He has a penchant for loose women.
哇 不可思议 Wow. That's amazing.
我肯定那是个很流行的聚会骗术 I'm sure it's a very popular party trick
在生日会上骗孩子用的 at birthdays for small children...
但对成年人不起作用 but it doesn't quite play with adults.
直说吧 Just to set the record straight.
罗伊·欧班纳 不会吸引那些放纵的女人 Roy O'Bannon is not attracted to loose women.
那些放纵的女人吸引我 Loose women are attracted to me.
你是罗伊·欧班纳 对 You're Roy O'Bannon? Yeah.
那个著名的西部民间英雄 The famous Western folk hero?
你听说过我 Have you heard of me?
我听说过你 Have I heard of you?
我读过"罗伊·欧班纳对决木乃伊"5遍 I've only read "Roy O'Bannon vs. The Mummy" five times.
令人着魔 It's fascinating.
我想你见见那个上海孩子 I want you to meet the Shanghai Kid.
哦 是的 Oh, yes.
忠实的中国伙伴 The faithful Chinese sidekick.
我不是伙伴 那些故事都是骗人的 I'm not a sidekick. Those stories are all lies.
行了 不要那样 Come on, don't be bitter.
我不能左右塞奇麦考利斯特写什么 I can't help what Sage McCallister writes.
如果需要帮忙 我随时效劳 If there's anything I can do, I'm at your service.
我们在找我妹妹 她住在这个地址 We're looking for my sister. She's staying at this address.
能带我们去吗 Can you take us there?
哦 亲爱的 Oh, dear.
我认为你们最好和我来一下 I think you'd better come with me.
玲 Lin.
文 Wang.
如果你不介意 我在外面等 If you don't mind, I'll just wait outside.
为我介绍一下 lntroduce me.
哦 这是玲 我妹妹 Oh. This is Lin, my baby sister.
罗伊·欧班纳 Roy O'Bannon.
很荣幸 Pleasure.
你从没告诉我你妹妹是这么一个 You never told me your sister was such a...
美丽的莲花 beautiful lotus blossom.
她说什么 What'd she say?
不 不 不 No, no, no.
不要用你们母语谈论我 No talking about me in your native tongue.
你怎么在监狱 Why are you in jail?
我跟踪杀爸爸的凶手 I followed the man who murdered Father.
然后呢 And?
我查到他住在哪 I found out where he live.
我偷偷的进了他的屋子想杀了他 I snuck inside his house and tried to kill him.
查杀爸爸的凶手是我的事 It's my duty to find Father's killer.
不 是我的 答应爸爸的那个是我 No, it is mine! I'm the one who promised Father.
但我才是他儿子 But I'm his only son.
当你为了美国抛弃了我们 When you abandoned us for America...
爸爸说他没有儿子了 Father said he had no son.
什么 What?
哦 时间到了 Whoa. Time out.
时间到了 过来 Time out. Come here.
那个侦探是我的拥护者 The detective's a fan.
我们为什么不打名人牌 Why don't I play the celebrity card?
我们把她弄出去 We'll get her out that way.
好吗 好吧 Okay? Okay.
别担心 我会救你出去 Don't worry. I'll get you out.
什么事都会好的 Everything's gonna be okay.
事实上 我要给你我的幸运扑克牌 In fact, I'm gonna give you my goodluck playing cards.
不要理会那些裸体女人 Just ignore the naked ladies.
文 Wang!
你打开爸爸那个盒子了吗 Have you opened Father's box?
还没有 Not yet.
他试图暗杀雷斯本大人 She tried to assassinate Lord Rathbone
当时他正在喝下午茶 whilst he was taking afternoon tea.
他是排在第10位的君主 He's 10th in line to the throne...
女皇最喜欢的表弟 Her Majesty's favorite cousin...
而且还是英国最好的剑客 and the finest swordsman in England.
当然 新闻说今天有比赛 So, of course, the press had a field day.
这件事把杰克和职业杀手挤掉 当了头条 The story actually knocked Jack the Ripper off the front page.
玲不是杀手 Artie, Lin is not a killer.
她只是非常 非常 非常惹火 She's just a really, really, really hot...
爱惹麻烦的中国女孩 confused Chinese girl.
大概如果我同意签几个亲笔签名 Maybe if I agreed to sign a few autographs
和我的一些英国的拥护者聊聊天 and talk to some of my fans here in England...
搞点慈善活动 那样我们能把她带出去吗 do some type of charity event, can we get her out that way?
恐怕那不是问题关键 I'm afraid that's out of the question.
我妹妹会怎么样 What will happen to my sister?
她要上法庭 可能会被关起来 She'll go to trial, probably be locked away
因为是刑事罪 in an institution for the criminally insane.
一些小报已经管她叫"疯狂玲" The tabloids have already dubbed her "Loony Lin."
我想那很容易被人记住 I thought it was rather catchy.
当时 At the time.
如果我们被发现在一起 Do you have any notion what would happen
你有什么想法 if we were to be seen together?
自从你回来 我还没见到玉玺呢 Since your return, I have yet to lay eyes on the lmperial Seal.
我明天会在乡下别墅 举办一个50年庆典舞会 I'm hosting a jubilee ball at my country estate tomorrow.
午夜 Be at the stables at midnight.
依照请求 我尊贵的象征 As requested, a token of my esteem.
在这下车 This is where you get out.
我希望我们之间将会有更多的信任 I hope there will be more trust between us
当我是皇帝 你是新国王的时候 when I'm emperor and you are the new king.
哇 白金汉宫 看那 姜 Wow. Buckingham Palace. Look at that, Chon.
那是女皇住的地方 That's where the queen lives.
嘿 看这家伙 Hey, look at this guy.
他是皇家卫兵 他有很重要的工作 He's a royal guard. He has a very important job.
我以前也象他一样 I used to be just like him.
不 他们一点都不象你 No, they're nothing like you.
他们是旅游胜地 They're a tourist attraction.
你可以冲他们做鬼脸 侮辱他们 You can make faces at them, insult them...
可是他们却不能动 and they can't move a muscle.
看这个 罗伊 Here. Watch this. Roy...
不 没事 No, it's okay.
嘿 兄弟 你鞋带开了 Hey, buddy, your shoes are untied.
这是我见过的最大的海狸 That is the biggest damn beaver I have ever seen.
罗伊 停下来吧 Roy, stop it.
女皇 The queen!
看 是女皇 Look! The queen!
她在向我们挥手 She's mooning us!
他差点就信了 He almost went for that.
我和我朋友刚从美国来 My friend and I just came over from America.
你可能听说过 我们要侵略你们这个小国家 You might have heard of it. We run your jerkwater country.
快点 你能接受从殖民地来的挑战吗 Come on, you gonna take that from a colonial?
罗伊 停下来 Roy, stop it.
我打赌你是个该死的纸人 I bet you are one hell of a damn poker player.
没有痛苦的感觉 No hard feelings.
啊 Huh?
他们不能那么做 They can't do that!
你不允许那么做 You're not allowed to do that!
不该惹他 Shouldn't have touched him.
滚开 你这小鬼 You scram, you little punk.
我在伦敦警察局有朋友 I've got friends at Scotland Yard.
真想在你胸口捶一拳 I'll give you up in a heartbeat.
你拿到你的表了吗 You get your watch back?
不用担心我的表 走吧 Don't worry about my watch. Go on.
那是击到 It's a knockoff.
你在说什么 What are you talking about?
我叔叔从林肯那偷来的 My uncle stole this watch from President Lincoln.
那是一个无价的传家宝 It's a priceless family heirloom.
不是从典当商那买回来的 Not according to the pawnbroker.
你不该偷 You should not steal.
如果我不偷我就没有饭吃 If I don't steal, I don't eat.
谁教你功夫的 Who showed you how to do all that kicking and punching?
我爸爸 My father.
你听过吗 父母 Have you ever heard of those? They're parents.
你没有 因为你是个孤儿 You don't 'cause you're a little orphan.
现在 走开吧 你在影响我们的形象 Now, go on. You're cramping our style.
哦 这个国家真差劲 Oh, this country blows.
你需要个地方住下吗 You need a place to stay?
进来吧 暖和暖和 Come on in and warm your dogs.
你会惹很多麻烦 You can get into a lot of trouble
闯进个这样的地方 breaking into a place like this.
做的不错 That being said, well done.
你刚吃了最后的巧克力 You just ate the last chocolate.
我是吃了 Course I did.
你最好照顾好你自己 You gotta look out for number one.
我以前就是这样 I could really get used to this.
过着乡绅的生活 Living the life of a country gentleman.
可能画些画 Maybe doing a little painting.
让玲和孩子们在花园里玩 Let Lin play in the garden with the children.
维拉 查克和大卫 Vera, Chuck, and Dave.
谁是玲 Who's Lin?
玲是我见过女人中最漂亮的一个 Lin's the most beautiful woman I've ever met.
她将是欧班纳家的救世主 She's gonna be the savior of the house of O'Bannon.
姜 看看这些线 Chon, check out the threads.
我所缺少的就是 一条忠实的猎犬蜷缩在我脚下 All I'm missing is the loyal hound curled at my feet.
我们在浪费时间 我们必须找到雷斯本 We are wasting time. We must find Rathbone.
你认为我在干什么 What do you think I've been doing?
坐在这喝着昂贵的烈酒 Sitting here drinking expensive hooch?
再来一杯 Refill.
我一直在想这个计划 I've been working on a plan.
现在 哦 别把白兰地溅出来 Now Whoa. Don't slosh the brandy.
把花弄乱了 滚开 lt messes with the bouquet. Sod off.
我在试着教你一系列的技巧 I'm trying to teach you a skill set.
帮你离开街道 Help get you off the street.
酒保赚很多钱 罗伊 Bartenders make big bucks. Roy!
计划 The plan.
谢谢 姜 Thank you, Chon.
如果我们找到玉玺 If we find the seal...
我们可以证明雷斯本杀了你爸爸 we can prove Rathbone killed your dad.
那是古老的万福玛利亚游戏 It's the old Hail Mary play.
我还有个想法 我们在哪挖个地道 I also have a version where we dig a tunnel.
嘿 Hey!
该死的弹射器 老天 Bloody catapult. Jesus Christ!
你不需要弹射器 谁问你了 You don't need a catapult! Who asked you?
大人说话小孩别插嘴 You don't interrupt grownups when they're talking.
纳尔逊雷斯本大人请了很多人 "Lord Nelson Rathbone requests the pleasure of your company
去女皇即位 at the jubilee ball
50年庆典舞会 in honor of Her Majesty's 50th year on the throne."
听其来不错 Sounds good.
那会戒备森严 It doesn't address security.
他们不会让我和姜 They're not gonna let Chon and I
跳着华尔兹进城堡 waltz into the castle.
你所需要的就是化装 All you need is a proper disguise.
我喜欢好好化个妆 I do like a good disguise.
我看起来象个傻子 I look like a fool.
什么 你是个王公 那是印度皇室 What?! You're a maharaja. That's lndian royalty.
但我是中国人 一样啦 But I'm Chinese. It's the same thing.
晃晃你的头 Bob your head a little bit.
让你看起来更象印度皇族 Gives you more of a lndiaroyalty flavor.
不错 成绩显著 成绩显著 That's good. Good show, good show.
成绩显著 成绩显著 Good show, good show.
好呀 好呀 好呀 好呀 Cheerio, cheerio. Cheerio, cheerio.
我们见到雷斯本时怎么办 What do we do when we see Rathbone?
杀了他 Kill him.
不 行吗 不 No, okay? No!
你要有礼貌 因为我们还没拿到玉玺 You're gonna be civil, 'cause we don't have the seal.
没玉玺 没有玲 没有家族荣誉 知道了 No seal. No Lin. No family honor. Okay?
冷静点 好 我们看起来还不错 Be cool. Okay, we look great.
让我们享受吧 Let's enjoy this party.
喂 你来干什么 我也进去 Whoa. What are you doing? I'm going inside.
这地方会闹鬼的 你是马夫 The place is haunted. You're the harness man.
你回到马车那 You get back at the carriage.
你等在外面以防万一 我们能快点逃走 You wait in case we need to make a quick getaway.
继续 各就各位 Go on. Man your post.
你不能总是得到你想要的东西 You don't always get what you want.
你为什么总是对那个孩子那么差 Why are you so mean to that boy?
我从那孩子身上 找到好多自己的影子 I see a lot of myself in that kid.
会让我有反常行为 走吧 It's kind of freaking me out. Come on.
请问你的名字 谢谢 Your name, please, sir.
我才可以替您通报 So I can announce you.
谢洛克 豪穆斯 Sherlock...Holmes.
谢洛克豪穆斯 Sherlock Holmes.
您代表哪个省 您的职位 Which province do you represent, Your Highness?
内华达 Nevada.
请允许我引见谢洛克·豪穆斯少将 May I present Major General Sherlock Holmes
和内华达王公殿下 and His Highness, the maharaja of Nevada.
保安安排的怎么样 How are the security arrangements?
哦 所有的事都很顺利 大人 Oh, everything seems to be going swimmingly, my Lord.
如果我可以说 And if I may say so...
今晚很荣幸保卫大人 it is an honor to guard Your Lordship tonight.
我代表伦敦警察局 I speak for all of us at Scotland Yard
向您说不管您离王位多远 when I say that no matter how far you are from the throne...
在我们心中您永远都是第一位 you'll always be number one in our hearts.
好 计划是这样的 Okay, here's the plan.
我们要找个小个的中国人 We're gonna get a little chow.
然后我们悄悄离开这 Then we're gonna sneak out of here.
开始找玉玺 好 Start looking for that seal. Okay.
葡萄干布丁 先生 什么 Spotted Dick, sir? What?
葡萄干布丁 Spotted Dick.
你能相信这家伙吗 Can you believe this guy?
我在找东西吃 I'm trying to get something to eat.
他在问我是不是拍手了 He's asking me if I got the clap.
我认为他是给你提供食品 I think he's offering you food.
哦 葡萄干布丁 Oh. Spotted Dick.
哦 不 我想我不用了 Oh, no. I think I'll pass.
我不是个喜欢甜品的人 I'm not really a dessert man.
也许我朋友想要点葡萄干布丁 Perhaps my friend might like some Spotted Dick.
我想尝尝那些香肠 I might try one of these sausages.
一个小个的熏肠 A little smoky Joe.
嗯 不错 Mmm! This is good!
我想这的吃的会很差 I thought the food here was supposed to suck.
羊杂肠是从苏格兰运来的 先生 The haggis is fresh from Scotland, sir.
是用最好的羊膀胱做的 It's made from the finest sheeps' bladders.
我要去喝点威士忌然后漱漱口 I'm gonna get some whiskey and wash my mouth out.
你应该试试野猪 You should try the quail.
今天早上我自己打的 I shot them myself this morning.
你好吗 大人 How do you do, Your Lordship?
很好 谢谢 Very well, thank you.
我对内华达州不是很了解 I'm not acquainted with the Nevada province.
但我从81年后就没再去过印度 But I haven't been to lndia since '81.
我在东方度过了 我生命中大部份时间 I spent most of my time in the Orient.
我听说你刚从中国回来 I hear you've just returned from China.
你真是见多识广 王公 You are wellinformed, maharaja.
我一直梦想中国人 It is my dream that the Chinese people
会以印度为榜样 而且有一天信奉不列颠的法律 will follow lndia's example and one day embrace British rule.
中国应该感到很骄傲 The Chinese are very proud.
他们把家族和荣誉 They place family and honor above all else.
放得比任何事物都高 Well, I'm sure we can break them of that.
不好意思 我要走开一下 If you'll excuse me, I have a matter to attend to.
直到我们再次见面 Until we meet again.
耐心 我为你感到骄傲 姜 Patience. I'm proud of you, Chon.
我们必须找到玉玺 We must find the seal.
你在看什么 What do you see?
嘘 Shh, shh, shh!
他从桌子上拿起一个象龙的钥匙 He just pulled a fancy dragon key out of his desk.
那是爸爸的 That was my father's!
我必须为爸爸的荣誉复仇 I must avenge his honor.
嘿 慢点 急脾气 慢点 Hey, slow down, tiger. Slow down.
不要把所有中国人都算在我头上 Quit going all Chinese on me.
他哪去了 Where is he?
妈的 记着你的难题箱 耐心 Damn it. Remember your puzzle box. Patience.
好吧 没窗户 Okay, there are no windows.
我们是从门进了 We just came in through the only doorway.
只有一个解释 That leaves one explanation.
记得在"罗伊·欧班纳对决木乃伊" Remember in "Roy O'Bannon vs. The Mummy"
蛇神是怎样逃的 how the zombie king got away
当我追他进了法老王的墓时 when I chased him into the pharaoh's tomb?
发现在斯芬克斯后面有条密道 There's a secret passageway behind the sphinx.
这附近应该有个杆或者按钮之类的 There's gotta be a lever or a button over here.
帮我把这些东西抬起来 Help me lift some stuff up.
罗伊 Roy!
那幅画 它在看着我 The painting. It's looking at me.
看 哦 是啊 Look! Oh, yeah.
看起来象是在看着我们 不错 Looks like it's looking at me. That's great.
不 是真眼睛 会动的 No, real eyes. Moving!
你被骗了 不是吗 That kid got to you, didn't he?
难以置信 我们不是在鬼屋吧 Unbelievable! We're not in a haunted house.
那是艺术家运用的技术 That's a technique that an artist uses.
"普遍存在的凝视"或者"追踪的眼睛"是技术术语 "Ubiquitous gaze" or "pursuant eyes" is the technical term.
有点不正常 明白了吧 It's unnerving, though. I'll give you that.
罗伊 现在 会动的眼睛 看 Roy. Now, those eyes. Look!
不管你怎么说 姜 Whatever you say, Chon.
让我们看看你这有什么 雷斯本 Let's see what you got here, Rathbone.
罗伊 Roy!
什么 姜 它们现在在动吗 What, Chon? Are the statues moving now?
哇 Wow.
嗯 Mmmmm!
罗伊 Roy!
你再冲我喊 我都不知道自己在想什么了 I can't hear myself think with you shouting at me.
姜 Chon?
姜 姜 Chon? Chon?
真实荒谬 This is ridiculous.
如果你想像孩子那样再玩 If you want to act like a child and play games...
就去找别人 then find someone else...
因为我现在在认真处理这些东西 'cause I take this stuff seriously.
我来这是工作 我有任务 I'm here to work. I'm on a mission.
姜 Chon?
好吧 姜 Okay, Chon.
好吧 你这个中国小赖皮 Okay, you little Chinese otter.
我们来玩玩吧 Let's play.
哈 Ha!
姜 魔鬼 Chon, demons!
她将会为我战斗 She's gonna fight my battles for me.
快点 我们走吧 Come on. Let's go.
什么 你在干什么 What? What are you doing?
有点古怪 我喜欢 It's kinky. I like it.
哇 看看这个 Wow! Look at this.
等一下 这屋子有点不一样 Wait. There's something different about this room.
嘿 Hey.
我们走吧 Let's go!
文 姜 感谢老天 Wang! Chon, for God's sakes.
现在他出现了 我找到了 Now he shows up. I found it.
等一下 你想听一下吗 Wait. Do you want to hear?
玉玺不见了 The seal's gone.
玲 Lin.
罗伊 Roy!
我们还回来吗 Are we gonna come back?
罗伊 Roy!
你一定要那么做吗 Must you keep doing that?
我不能被看见或听见 I was taught not to be seen or heard.
玉玺 The seal.
我是个遵守诺言的人 I am a man of my word.
我记得看我哥哥摆弄这个的时候 I remember watching my brother play with this
象个婴儿喋喋不休 like a baby rattle.
当我想碰它的时候 太后就打我 When I'd try to touch it, the dowager empress beat me.
毋庸质疑 你有个可怜的童年 No doubt your deprived childhood
使你变成今天这个样子 made you into the man you are today.
乌超 Wu Chow.
乌什么 Wu who?
他是皇帝的私生子弟弟 He is the emperor's bastard brother.
从紫禁城驱逐出去 He was banished from the Forbidden City
因为想偷玉玺 for trying to steal the lmperial Seal.
我们的爸爸抓住他的 Our father caught him.
他发誓要回去继承王位 He vowed to return to claim the emperor's throne.
那小子 This guy?
一切都在按计划进行 I'll assume everything has been arranged as discussed.
没什么好担心的 一切进行得很顺利 You have nothing to worry about. It's all in place.
那个钻石有猴子爪那么大 That diamond is as big as a damn monkey's paw.
看那 罗伊 Look at that. Roy.
别打它的主意 Don't even think about it.
我只是羡慕那技术 姜 I'm just admiring the craftsmanship, Chon.
到目前为止 我们的交易结束了 So for now, our business is completed.
玲哪去了 Where's Lin?!
嘿 嘿 Hey! Hey!
抓到你了 Gotcha!
只是替你保管一下 Just looking out for number one.
不 No!
那孩子拿了玉玺 The kid got the seal!
姜 Chon!
糟了 It's stuck.
玲 Lin!
快点 你能做到 Go! You can do it!
她做到了 She's got it.
她做到了 She's got it!
罗伊 快点 Roy! Come on!
姜 我们俩认识那么久了 Chon, what in our history together
你怎么认为我能做到 makes you think I'm capable of something like that?
罗伊 我办不到 Roy! I can't do that!
快点 Hurry up!
等一下 Wait.
有个更好的办法 There's a better way.
减速 Slow down!
我要死啦 I'm a bat out of hell!
耶 喔 Yeehaw!
另外 我不知道刹车在哪 Besides, I don't know where the brake is.
什么 What?!
小心 Look out!
现在怎么办 兄弟 So, what now, buddy?
放松 放松 从这开始滑行 Relax, relax. Smooth sailing from here.
是了 这两个人就是攻击我的人 Yes, these are the men who attacked me.
恐怕这些攻击者已经 暂时开始躲避我们了 大人 I'm afraid the assailants have temporarily eluded us, my Lord.
或许你应该解释给我听 Perhaps you could explain to me
疯子玲是怎样 how Loony Lin managed to escape
从有全世界最值得尊敬警察看守的 from the confines of Scotland Yard under the watch
伦敦警察局越狱的 of the most respected police force in the world.
是的 的确 是很令人费解 Yes, of course. It's absolutely fascinating.
她用一副相当 She picked the lock
淫秽的扑克牌撬开了锁 using a deck of rather risqué playing cards.
然后利用一个拖把和一个叉子 Then scaled the walls
还有各种各样偷盗用的紧身衣 with a mop, a fork...
爬过了围墙 and various pilfered undergarments.
你们要把她移交中国政府 You've got to hand it to the Chinese.
他们非常蠢 大人 对吗 They're awfully ingenious, Lord, aren't they?
你的无知知道什么 Does your incompetence know no bounds?!
我在哪 Where am l?
玲 Lin!
我甚至不认识这些女人 I don't even know these women.
玲 你在这干什么 Lin, what are you doing here?
哦 主啊 Oh, Lord.
你想试试37页上的那毒药吗 Do you want to try the position on page 37?
过来 我的小荡妇 Come here, you little minx.
什么 What?
你没事吧 不 我没事 You okay? No, I'm not okay.
我刚刚被牧场的动物强暴过 I've just been violated by a barnyard animal.
谁会在这空地中央堆一堆石头 Who would leave a pile of stones in the middle of the field?
我不知道 姜 这些人很怪 I don't know, Chon. These people are nuts.
行了 Come on.
我能告诉你些事吗 什么 Can I tell you something? What?
这是一次该死的冒险 This is a hell of a damn adventure we're on.
我跟你在一起很开心 I'm having an absolute ball with you.
我也是 Me too.
来了 Here we go.
把你的拇指伸出来 王公 Get your thumb out, maharaja.
为什么 过这边来 Why? Get over here.
劳驾 Excuse me!
玲 玲 Lin! Lin!
我的肩膀有点紧绷绷的 My shoulder's getting a little tight.
这是你第一次来英国 不是吗 This is your first time in England, isn't it?
你怎么知道这附近的路的 难以置信 How do you know your way around? It's incredible.
我向来方向感都很强 I always had a good sense of direction.
你可以再说一次 You can say that again.
我希望我们能一起说你了解谁 I wish we could say the same about you know who.
一但把他送到山上 I once sent him over a mountain range.
他就永远迷路 He was lost forever.
有一次 我把他送到长城 One time, I sent him over the Great Wall.
他迷路迷了3天 3天 He was lost for three days. Three days?!
哦 天哪 我们有这么多共同点 Oh, gosh, we got a lot in common.
我从没遇到象你这样的人 罗伊 I've never met anybody like you, Roy.
真的 是 Really? Yeah.
嘿 在你不高兴之前 我能告诉你件事吗 Hey, can I tell you something without you getting offended?
什么 What?
你的身材很好 You have a great body.
我说是因为从外表就可以看的出 There. I said it. It's out in the open.
你必须解决 我 You must work out. Me?
对不起 Excuse me.
姜 你在干什么 Chon, what are you doing?
我不喜欢坐在后面 I don't like the backseat.
让我感到恶心 眩晕 Makes me sick. Dizzy.
白色小教堂 Whitechapel.
这看起来象是个好邻居 This looks like a nice enough neighborhood.
小猫和靴子是什么 是个寄宿公寓 What is Puss 'n' Boots? It's a boardinghouse.
一些船上的水手极力推荐的 Some of the sailors on the ship coming over recommended it.
快点 快点 Come on. Come on!
我不会让我妹妹住这儿 I won't let my sister stay here.
那我们要怎么办 到萨瓦去吗 What are we supposed to do? Check in to the Savoy?
我们会在进房间前被拘捕 We'll get arrested before we get to our room.
我不介意这个地方 I don't mind this place.
瞧 她还是有点开放的 See? She's a little openminded.
我知道这听起来很荒谬 因为我刚认识她 I know this sounds crazy 'cause I just met her...
我想我爱上她了 but I think I'm falling for her.
我想她就是我要的那个人 I think she's the one.
罗伊 他是我妹妹 Roy, she's my baby sister.
我知道她是 谢谢上帝 I know she is. Thank God!
这是我得到的唯一机会 That's the only chance I've got.
我已经准备好了要开始行动 I'm getting ready to launch a little thing
叫做 "行动 让她倒在我怀里" called "Operation: Sweep Her Off Her Feet."
你要在她面前帮我说好话 You're in a position to talk me up.
我能靠你吗 Can I count on you?
拜托 我从没向你要求过什么 Please, buddy, I've never asked you for anything.
当然 罗伊 我会告诉她实话 Sure, Roy. I'll tell her the truth.
先把事实拖一拖 Don't get hung up on the truth.
帮你的老友修修毛边 Feel free to smooth out your old pal's rough edges.
我爱你 兄弟 I love you, buddy.
玲 过来 Lin. Come.
坐下 Sit.
你好 亲爱的 Hello, love.
要过夜吗 Fancy a tumble?
噢 两天前你在哪 Oh! Where were you two days ago?
我可能马上就会和你做 I would have bedded you in a second.
现在你在找一个已经改变了的男人 Now you're looking at a changed man.
我可以说为一个特殊的人保留着 I'm sort of saving myself for someone special.
我会给你打折 I'll give you a discount.
那是所有女人对我说的最浪漫的事 That's the most romantic thing any woman's ever said to me.
你最好离开这 You better go.
你最好在我们失控前离开这 走 You better go before we lose control. Go!
如果你改变了主意 If you change your mind...
罗伊 Roy!
我们的长辈会给你找适合你的男人 Our father would talk about the right man for you.
他必须要强壮 勇敢 He must be strong, courageous...
而且还要是个好爸爸 and a good father.
象罗伊那样 行了 姜 Like Roy. We got her, Chon.
不是象罗伊那样的 Not like Roy.
你不象我了解他 You don't know him like I do.
他有很多坏习惯 He has many bad habits.
例如 Such as?
抽烟 喝酒 还有赌博 He drinks, smokes, and he gambles.
姜 你这是在干什么 Chon, where are you going with this?
他为了钱而和女人睡觉 He sleeps with women for money.
你在 What are you
罗伊不会那么做 我可看到他在想什么 Roy don't do that. I can see inside him.
他心肠很好 He has a good heart.
对了 That's right.
他的三文鱼不逆流而游 His salmon don't swim upstream.
他对牛弹琴 He shoots blanks.
玲 他不值得信任 Lin, he cannot be trusted.
你怎么能那么说 他是你的朋友 How could you say that? You're his friend.
是 差不多 Yeah, sort of.
罗伊是那种 Roy is the type of a friend
你最好别把他介绍给你其他的朋友 you'd never introduce to your other friends
或者把他带回家见家人 or bring home to your family.
他从来不说实话 你知道我管他叫什么 He never speak the truth. You know what I call him?
不是罗伊·欧班纳 罗伊·欧胡扯 Not Roy O'Bannon. Roy O'Baloney.
我不在乎 I don't care.
玲 我不许 Lin, I forbid it.
你不是我爸爸 You are not my father.
罗伊 你在这啊 Roy, there you are.
嗨 嗯 Hi. Mmhmm.
你需要什么 兄弟 You need anything, buddy?
一大堆"别烦我" A whole lot of "leave me alone."
怎么了 What's wrong?
没什么 Nothing.
我从床的另一边醒来 I woke up on the wrong side of the bed.
我觉得后背有点疼 好像有人在那扎了一刀 I feel a little pain in my back like someone put a knife there.
我没事 I'm okay.
不用替我担心 Don't worry about me.
罗伊 Roy!
哒哒 T ada!
那实际上让我想起了一个诡计 That actually reminds me of a trick.
你从没见过这个 You ever seen this one?!
还有这个 Or this one?!
你以为你的功夫很酷 You think you're so cool with your karate
还有你那象小孩似的反映 and your childlike reflexes.
罗伊 你没事吧 Roy, you okay?
看看你 Look at you.
你真的叫我罗伊·欧胡扯 Do you really call me Roy Baloney?
罗伊 你不明白 Roy, you don't understand.
你刚刚砸碎了我的难题箱 You just smashed my puzzle box.
我永远不会知道我的消息是什么 I'll never figure out my message.
罗伊 走开 Roy... Go.
我对你已经没有任何感觉了 You're dead to me.
我不认识姜文 I don't know a Chon Wang.
什么 What?
嗨 罗伊 Hi, Roy.
谁爱你 宝贝 Who loves you, baby?
干得不错 姜 罗伊 Nice try, Chon. Roy...
对不起 I'm sorry.
你再那么做一次 你就死定了 You do that again, and you're a dead man.
枕头战 Pillow fight!
我是罗伊·欧胡扯 I am Roy Baloney!
对 Yes!
我好高兴 I'm full of it!
没错 You are!
罗伊 Roy?
玲 Lin!
这是他的主意 It was his idea.
姜 衣服 Chon! Clothes!
是散步的好天气 Nice night for a walk.
玲 Lin!
玲 你在这啊 Lin! There you are!
你在干什么 What are you doing?
你不知道这有很多连环杀手吗 Don't you know there's a serial killer on the loose?
别提了 Forget it.
这些人是什么人 Who the hell are these guys?
刺客 Boxers.
他们想从我们这得到什么 What do they want with us?
他们是我的人 They're with me.
我想我们应该谈谈 I think we need to have a little chat.
姜文 Chon Wang
可以与皇帝对抗的人 the man who can fight an emperor.
一个皇帝从来不应该有 他自己的葬礼刀 The emperor should never have his burial knife.
我明白了 I see.
你仍然是我哥哥的走狗 You're still my brother's lapdog.
我来这不是为了他 I'm here not for him.
我来这为了我爸爸 I'm here for my father.
当然 Of course you are.
是我用匕首插进他的心脏 It was my dagger that plunged into his heart.
沾了他的血 匕首也锈了 It's still crusted with his blood.
我知道玉玺在那小孩身上 I know the boy has the seal.
他在哪 Where is he?
我们不知道 We don't know.
那是事实我们不知道 That's the truth we don't know.
嗯 Mmm...
你要 你要干什么 What are you What are you doing?
住手 把她放下来 Stop! Put her down!
把她放下来 把她放下来 Put her down! Put her down!
不然怎么样 欧班纳先生 Or what, Mr. O'Bannon?
你要踢我 Are you gonna kick my ass?
我看了你所有的自编的荒谬的故事 I've read all about your ridiculous exploits.
我是说 只是 I mean, just...
你赤手空拳杀死木乃伊的感觉如何 how does it feel to kill a mummy with your bare hands?
只有那些无知的乡下人 Only a nation of uneducated rednecks
才会对这种西部牛仔的鬼话赶兴趣 would be amused by such cowboy drivel.
噢 噢 噢 放松 Whoa, whoa, whoa. Easy.
怎么要对我人身攻击 What's with the personal attacks?
你没看我的注解 You don't see me making any comments
关于你苍白的面色 还有你那下贱的口音 about your pasty complexion or your snotty accent
还有你的污秽发霉的色情小说 or even your filthy, smutty sex books.
对 我看了你的书 令我作呕 Yeah, I saw your book. It disgusted me.
哦 你的人为什么老是打头 Oh, why is it always the head with you people?!
住手 停下 住手 Hold it! Stop! Hold it!
就停一下 Just hold it!
我们在这干什么 看这个 What are we doing here? Guys, look at this.
象野兽一样 要怎么样 We're acting like animals... over what?
要玉玺 Some seal?
玉玺代表了皇帝的权力 The seal represents imperial power.
我要用他来联合皇帝的敌人 I will use it to unite the emperor's enemies
围攻紫禁城 and storm the Forbidden City.
那你想要什么 What's in it for you?
你看到的是未来的英国国王 You're looking at the future king of England.
你排在继承君主宝座的第20位 You're, like, 20th in line to the throne.
第10位 10th.
但是我的朋友马上就要把这改写 But my friend is about to change all that
简单的 消灭过程 by simple... process of elimination.
这个叫机关枪 It's called a machine gun.
一分钟可以射出200发子弹 The first of its kind it fires 200 rounds a minute.
大不列颠的遗嘱 Testament to British ingenuity.
哦 是你偷了玉玺 Oh, so you steal the seal,
然后再杀9个皇室成员 and then you knock off nine royals?
你得到的好处不多 朋友 You got the short end of that stick, my friend.
把他们扔到河里 Dump them in the river.
你们要把她带到哪 Where are you taking her?
去创造历史 To make history.
我已经能看到头条新闻 I can already see the headlines
"全国为疯子玲残杀皇室默哀" "Nation mourns as Loony Lin massacres royal family."
我要你确保你能找到玉玺 I need your assurance that you will find the seal.
不要涉及到你自己 Don't concern yourself.
我的人在城里搜 My men are scouring the city.
你最好祈祷他们能找到 不然我们的合作就会终止 You better pray they find it... or our agreement is over,
而你也永远得不到皇冠 and you will never get the crown.
姜 我有点事要向你坦白 Chon, I got a confession to make.
你爱上我妹妹了 You are in love with my sister.
那个 但是 Well, that, but...
我没在那个股票上输掉所有的钱 I didn't lose all the money on the zeppelins.
没有 No?
没有 我用了大部份的钱出版我的小说了 Nah. I blew most of it on the Roy O'Bannon novels.
我写的 I wrote them.
不 塞奇麦考利斯特写的 No, Sage McCallister wrote them.
那正是我要说的 兄弟 我就是塞奇·麦考利斯特 That's what I'm saying, buddy. I'm Sage McCallister.
你写的那些谎话 You wrote those lies?!
我一直都很自卑 I've always had low selfesteem.
你印了多少本 How many books did you print?
我私人出版大概100万份 I selfpublished probably a million copies.
那年我们只比《圣经》少了点 We were actually second to the Bible that year.
哦 你 Oh, you
我猜我是能找到的 I guess I'm just about the worst friend
最坏的朋友了 a guy could ask for.
不 你是我的好朋友 No, you're a good friend.
谢谢 Thank you.
如果你真爱玲 我不会再阻止你们了 If you really love Lin, I won't stand in the way.
真的 Really?
但是 如果你伤了她的心 我会打断你的腿 But if you break her heart... I'll break your legs.
很公平 That's fair.
永远的朋友 姜 Well, friends to the end, Chon...
时辰到了 and this is the end.
姜 有什么计划吗 Chon, you got a plan?
你不是这么巧有个计划吧 是吗 You wouldn't happen to have a plan, would you?
是 Yes.
我能做什么 没有 Anything I can do? No.
那我会让你举重 Good. I'll let you do the heavy lifting, then.
姜 快点 Chon, hurry.
姜 Chon!
姜 姜 快点 Chon! Chon, hurry!
快 Hurry!
快 姜 快 Hurry! Chon, hurry!
罗伊 Roy!
来啦 Coming!
姜 Chon!
噢 Oh!
水真脏 The water's so dirty!
不 不 水很脏 不 No! No! It's dirty! No!
你走吧 淹死我吧 我不在乎了 Just go ahead and drown me. I don't care anymore.
罗伊 Roy!
你看起来很好笑 You look ridiculous.
我认为我们看起来还行 I think we look good.
我真的必须要阻止这件事的发生 I really must protest this intrusion.
伦敦的所有人都在搜查街道 Every bobby in London is out scouring the streets
就为了你们俩 for you two.
你喝酒了吗 Have you been drinking?
我失业的时候总是喝酒 I always drink when my employment's been terminated.
他们解雇你了 They fired you?
雷斯本大人这么说 Lord Rathbone saw to that.
对不起 I'm sorry.
这不合逻辑 It's of no consequence.
我从没想过在一线上当探长 I never wanted to be an inspector in the first place.
是我爸爸的主意 It was my father's idea.
我一直想当作家 I always wanted to be a writer.
是啊 Yeah.
阿蒂 我们需要你帮忙 Artie, we need your help.
雷斯本抓了玲 Rathbone has taken Lin.
他要去杀皇室成员 He's gonna kill the royal family
他要篡夺皇位 and he's gonna assume the throne.
你有什么证据 Do you have any evidence
来支持这些无聊的断言 to support these preposterous allegations?
我们有这个 那个孩子 We have this. It's the boy's.
用你的技巧 告诉我们他在哪 Use your technique. Tell us where he is.
石蜡 很有趣 Paraffin wax most interesting.
他在教堂 He's at a church.
那个小鬼藏在教堂里 The little punk's hiding in a church.
不 不 不 No, no, no.
那不是烛蜡 It's not candle wax.
我知道了 I have it.
不用担心 你会找到它的 你们在干什么 Don't worry. You'll get it. What are you doing?
他在撬锁 那好 快点 He's picking the lock. Well, hurry up!
姜 拜托 拜托 这是一个要非常小心翼翼的工作 Chon, please! Please. It's a very meticulous process.
让阿蒂做他的工作 这几乎就是艺术 Let Artie do his job. It's almost an art form.
必须要有外科医生的精确度 It takes the precision of a surgeon.
你必须要很精确的 You have to be so precise.
可能我们把那边的那个堵上了 Maybe if we jam another one in there.
这也行啊 That works, too.
缺少一个可靠的策略 Lacks a certain finesse.
好吧 好吧 让我们把它分开 All right, all right. Let's split up.
是 What the...
我要拧断你的脖子 I am gonna break your neck.
过来 Come here.
看看这 Looky here.
快点 在哪呢 什么 Come on, where is it? What?
你知道我在说什么 You know what I'm talking about.
我不要再听见"什么" Don't give me that "what."
这是什么 What do we got here?
哦 是的 Oh, yes.
你不介意我把这个拿回去吧 不是吗 You don't mind if I take this back, do you?
继续 滚出去 Go on. Get out of here.
滚 Go!
罗伊 Roy?
我找到了 I got it.
把玉玺给我 Give me the seal.
把玉玺给我 Give me the seal!
好啦 打开看看 All right, spread out!
从那过去 Through there!
我们走吧 Let's go.
被包围了 The gig's up.
我们要怎么办 So, what are we gonna do?
快点 想办法 Come on, think!
我不是英国罪犯 I'm not going to an English prison.
我一头金发 姜的运动造形 With my feathery blond hair and Chon's athletic build,
我们肯定会被玩爆 they'll try to make us the belle of the ball.
算了吧 我不要回去 Forget it. I'm not going back.
至少 我们有个好地方看烟花 Well, at least we'll get a good view of the fireworks
伦敦警察局 from Scotland Yard.
烟花 是的 Fireworks? Yeah.
午夜 他们会用一个小型舰队 At midnight, they're launching this huge display
在泰晤士河放 from a flotilla of barges on the Thames.
那是女皇50年庆典的开幕 It's the official kickoff to the Queen's Jubilee.
皇室也会去那吗 Is the royal family gonna be there?
他们会在展览馆的阳台看 They're gonna be viewing the spectacle from a balcony
可以看到整条河 overlooking the river.
他在游艇上装了机关枪 He's got a machine gun on the barge.
是的 Yes.
你们疯了吗 You gents lost your way?
小子 告诉我你有办法出去 Kid, tell me you got a way out.
小子 干的不错 Nice move, kid.
你为什么回来了 So why did you come back?
你为什么放弃玉玺 Why did you give up the seal?
因为我是个傻瓜 'Cause I'm a fool.
我想我也是个傻瓜 Guess I'm a fool, too.
那把她给我吧 傻瓜 Well, put her there, fool.
我从没记住你叫什么名字 I never got your name.
查理 Name's Chaplin...
查理·卓别林 Charlie Chaplin.
对不起 对不起 Excuse me. Excuse me.
麻烦你 劳驾 Excuse me, please!
对不起 对不起 Excuse me. Excuse me.
你去通知皇室 You warn the royal family.
我去救玲 I'll save Lin.
你究竟怎么能做到 How on earth are you gonna do that?
你还好吗 You okay?
我刚刚救了你 I just saved you!
你太晚了 You were late!
什么 What?!
纳尔逊 Nelson?
你为什么要藏在后面 Why are you hiding yourself back there?
我不能阻挡你看烟花 陛下 I shouldn't like to impede your view, Your Highness.
废话 你安排了这所有 Nonsense. You arranged all this.
你应该到前排看 You should have a frontrow view.
很遗憾 出于尊敬 我不能接受 I regret that, uh, respectfully I must decline.
我要好好盯着进程 I need to keep a good eye on proceedings.
噢 Whoo!
纳尔逊 你已经超越了你自己 Nelson, you've outdone yourself.
嘿 Hey!
噢 Oh!
没有希望了 This is hopeless.
我们没有办法绕过卫兵 We're not gonna get past the guards.
一直有那种想法我们就不行 Well, not with that attitude we won't.
来吧 阿蒂 一定有办法的 Come on, Artie. There's got to be a way.
总是 There's always
玲 Lin!
驾 Yeehaw! Yeah!
耶 驾 Yeehaw!
我们要跳了 We got to jump it!
乌超 Wu Chow!
站在那别动 雷斯本 Hold it right there, Rathboner.
我猜你要匆忙撤退 I'm guessing by your hasty retreat
不过你还是排在第20位 that you're still 20th in line for the throne.
第10位 10th.
柯南道尔侦探 把这个人抓起来 Inspector Doyle, arrest this man.
他有枪 He's got a gun!
噢 Oh!
快点 Come on!
哦 你还好吗 Oh! You okay?
发生什么事了 What happened?
雷斯本用把女人用的枪打伤了他 Rathbone nailed Artie with a little sissy gun.
我照顾他 你们俩继续追 I'll look after him. You two go.
走 Go!
为了爸爸 For Father.
为了老人家 文 For Old Man Wang.
哦 我的幸运扑克牌 Oh, my lucky playing cards.
小心点 Be careful.
告诉雷斯本小心点 Tell Rathbone to be careful.
罗伊 我们走 Roy, let's go.
你需要把大点的枪 You're gonna need a bigger gun!
你看见他了 You see him?
没有 No.
出来吧 雷斯本 Show your face, Rathbone!
我要把这个家伙碎尸万段 I'm gonna tear this guy apart.
罗伊 你走这边 我走那边 Roy, you go this way. I'll go that way.
分开 我不知道是不是个好主意 Split up? I don't know if that's a good idea.
没问题 It's okay.
他不在上面 He's not up here.
罗伊 继续 Roy, keep going.
噢 快点罗伊 Aw, come on, Roy.
嘿 雷斯本 Hey, uh, Rathbone...
我正在想个好书名给我的新书 I was just thinking of a title for my new book...
"罗伊·欧班纳对决娘娘腔君主" "Roy O'Bannon vs. Little Lord Sissy."
叫"罗伊·欧班纳对决 想当女皇的男人"怎么样 But what about "Roy O'Bannon vs. The Man Who Would Be Queen"?
没见他的影子 姜 No sign of him, Chon.
海岸已经查过了 The coast is clear up here.
罗伊 小心 Roy! Look out!
罗伊 Roy!
哦 Oops.
爬上来啊 Come on up.
我要你看看你爸爸是怎么死的 I'll show you how your father died.
上帝 帮帮我 Lord, help me.
就让我知道你在那 爱我 恨我 Just let me know you're there. Love me. Hate me.
但是让我知道 你就在上面 But let me know you're up there!
嘿 从这可以看到我们住的宾馆 Hey, I can see our hotel from here.
喔 Wow.
继续啊 Come along.
我在等着呢 I'm waiting.
快点 罗伊 好吗 Come on, Roy. Okay.
罗伊·欧班纳不会平平静静的离开 Roy O'Bannon will not go quietly.
你听到了 英格兰 You hear that, England?!
你想从我这得到什么都行 Throw whatever you want at me
糟糕的天气 你们这些杀手 your terrible weather, your perverted killers,
葡萄干布丁 your Spotted Dick!
罗伊 你快死了 Roy, you're about to die.
你在分针上 You're on the minute hand of a clock.
我的生命在我眼前闪过 My life is flashing before my eyes.
等一下 我不记得她了吗 Wait a minute. I don't remember her.
再来一次 One more.
哦 Oh!
真失望 How disappointing.
再来一次 One more.
你杀了我朋友 You killed my friend.
你杀了我爸爸 You killed my father!
罗伊 Roy!
我以为你死了 哦 I thought you were dead! Oh!
你认为那些喝茶的精神病 You think some teadrinking psycho
能杀我罗伊·欧班纳 can take out Roy O'Bannon?
哇 Whoa.
慢点 牛仔 Easy there, cowboy.
啊 Huh?
有什么想法 You got any ideas?
啊 Huh?
我们跳 跳 We jump! Jump?!
你是说掉下去 You mean fall?!
瞄准那面旗 Aim for the flag!
哦 妈的 Aw, shit.
我要告诉你件事 I got to tell you something.
什么 What?
你是我交的最好的伙伴 You're the best sidekick I could ever ask for.
谢谢你 罗伊 我也是这么想你的 Thank you, Roy. I feel the same about you.
数到3 On three.
1 One...
2 Two...
3 3 Three! Three!
罗伊 罗伊 Roy. Roy!
你好 Howdy.
对于突出的胆色的赏识 In recognition of outstanding bravery,
我授于姜文爵士称号 I dub you Sir Chon Wang.
对于不凡的英勇 For uncommon valor,
我授于罗伊·欧班纳爵士称号 I dub you Sir Roy O'Bannon.
对于正义的坚定贡献 And for steadfast dedication to justice,
我授于柯南·道尔爵士称号 I dub you Sir Arthur Conan Doyle.
阿蒂 Arise.
谁爱你 宝贝 Who loves you, baby?
夫人 Madam.
阿蒂 我打赌伦敦警察局 现在肯定非常渴望你回去 Artie, I bet Scotland Yard's dying to get you back now.
我打击犯罪的日子已经结束了 My official crimefighting days are over.
女皇要求我 The queen has asked me
护送玉玺回中国 to accompany the lmperial Seal back to China.
这一周啊 难以置信 What a week. Unbelievable.
她没有更好人选了 对吗 姜 She couldn't have picked a better man, right, Chon?
是的 Yeah.
航程中我就有时间写我的新小说了 And the voyage is gonna give me time to work on my new novel.
他展示了一个新的侦探 It features a new kind of detective,
他将用推理学来解决一切犯罪 and he's gonna solve crimes using deductive reasoning.
给我个名字 他叫什么名字 Give me a name. What's his name?
事实上 罗伊 我很希望 Actually, Roy, I was rather hoping
叫他谢洛克·豪穆斯 如果你不介意 to call him Sherlock Holmes, if that's all right with you.
如果你不用就侮辱我了 I'd be insulted if you didn't use it.
哒 再见 阿蒂 Ta. See you, Artie.
罗伊 你表现的很好 That was very nice of you, Roy.
如果它好的话我会自己留着 I would've kept the name if I thought it was any good.
对侦探来说那是个恐怖的名字 It's a horrible name for a detective
谢洛克·豪穆斯 豪穆斯 Sherlock Holmes. Holmes?
你能不能不再玩那个 我要把它捏碎 Will you stop playing with that? I'm gonna smash it.
我只是想看一眼 I just want to see it for a second.
就让我看看吧 不行 你会把它打烂的 Just let me see it. No, you're gonna break it.
那只不过是块石头 上面有点字罢了 It's just a rock with some gibberish on it.
那是汉语 That's Chinese.
家是永远的 我的儿子 "Family is forever, my son.
我为你自己扔的石头而自豪 I'm proud you cast your own stone."
喔 Wow.
那是个好消息 That's a good message.
我想扔块我自己的石头 姜 I'd like to cast my own stone, Chon.
嗨 嗨 Hi. Hi.
我告诉你 欧班纳式的房子一定成功 I told you the house of O'Bannon will prevail.
姜 我有个生意建议给你 Chon, I got a business proposition for you.
不要再买飞艇股票了 No more zeppelins.
不 不 这个比飞艇好得多 No, no, this is much better than zeppelins
是在加州的一个新兴事物 a new thing they're starting out in California
他们叫它会动的画 called moving pictures.
免谈 Pass.
慢点 慢点 听我说完 Hold it. Hold it. Hear me out.
我真的认为电影可以发挥你的强项 I really think these movies could play to your strength.
没有声音 There's no sound,
所以我们不需要担心语言问题 so we don't have to worry about the language problem.
而且我认为 功夫片的潜力很大 And I think the kung fu stuff could be huge.
人们渴望看到动作片 People are dying for a good action picture.
你怎么看 What do you think?
姜文 电影明星 Chon Wang, movie star?
有干头 It could work.
我觉得 开发那个卓别林小孩不怎么样 I feel bad about ditching that Chaplin kid,
但是 我要在好莱坞开间片厂 but we're gonna be running and gunning in Hollywood,
他只是紧跟我的风格 and he'd just cramp our style.
困难的城市 It's such a tough town.
"野蛮的观光客" Bloody tourists!
开始 Action!
你一定要说"卡" You have to say "cut."
你就在那看 You just keep looking!
过来 你这小荡妇 Come here, you little minx.
卡 Cut.
不错 That was good.
真的不错 嗯 That was a good one, huh?
也许我应该舔你 你说呢 Maybe on this one I should lick you...you think?
你舔完我之后 应该不错 Like, after you lick me that could be kind of good.
嗯 杰克 And, Jackie...
杰克 Jackie?
谢谢 嗨 欧文 Thank you. Hi, Owen.
你好吗 Hello. How are you?
好 我不是罗伊·欧班纳 Okay, and I'm not Roy O'Bannon.
你是谁 Who are you?
妈的 姜 我知道她才是我想要的 Damn it, Chon, I think she's the one.
我知道有点疯狂 我们才刚认识 但是她就是我想要的 I know it's crazy. We just met, but she's the one.
不 罗伊 她是我保姆 No, Roy, she's my babysitter.
你的孩子 Your babys
什么 What?
孩子什么 Baby what?
妹妹 Baby sister.
妹妹 Baby sister?
不是保姆 是妹妹 Not babysitter. Baby sister.
你没事吧 You okay?
开始 Action!
发生什么事了 What happened?
罗伊是那种不能介绍 Roy is the type of a friend you never introduce
给你其他的朋友或者带回家 见你家人的那种朋友 to your other friends or bring into your family.
他是 看他的眼睛 棕色的 全是狗屁 He's Look at his eyes. They're brown full of shit.
总是 Always...
老是在说废话 Just bullshit all the time.
是啊 你听说过吗 Yeah, have you ever heard of those?
他们是父母 我们有父母爱我们 They're parents. We have parents that love us.
你没有 因为你是个小孤儿 You don't, 'cause you're a little orphan.
你不是 我们有 对 父母 You don't We've got par Yeah, parents.
你听说过那些吗 我们有父母爱我们 Have you ever heard of those? We've got parents that love us.
但是你没有 因为你是个小孤儿 But you don't, 'cause you're a little orphan.
哦 继续 Oh, go on.
真有意思 So mean.
姜文 电影明星 Chon Wang, movie star?
有干头 It could work.
有干头 你可以做你自己的绝活 It could work. You could do your own stunts.
什么 我的绝活 What? My own stunts?
喔 Ow!
喔 喔 Whoa! Whoa!
待在这给新来的长官做匹好马 Stay here and be a good horsey for the new sheriff.
噢 Ouch! Oh!
哦 很疼啊 Ow. That hurt.
喔 哦 Ow! Ooh!
喔 Ow!
喔 Oh!
你应该抓住我的 You're supposed to catch me!
罗伊接着 Roy, catch.
天啊 是我的错 Jesus. That's my fault.
等一下 Wait a second.
这个螺母会杀死街道里的女人 This nut is killing your street women?
谁啊 Who did that?
成龙 Jackie Chan.
我 Me?
没错 That's right.
那是 第一次 That was the... First time.
这个是最好的 对不起 The best take. I'm sorry.
快点 Hurry up!
你疯了吗 我不能那么做 Are you crazy?! I can't do that!
这不是中国城 我不能在空气里轻快地走 This isn't Chinatown! I can't sail through the air!
我要把我脖子弄断啦 罗伊 I'm not gonna break my neck! Roy!
我们俩在一起那么久 What in our history together
怎会让你认为我有能力做那些事 makes you think I'm capable of something like that?
它越来越大了 It's getting bigger!
那是个好办法 There's got to be a better way.
罗伊 Roy!
我屁股着火啦 My ass is on fire.