这就是今天的新闻 And that's the news.
在节目结束前 让我们恭喜我的老搭档埃文·巴克斯特 But before we sign off, we'd like to congratulate our very own Evan Baxter,
他刚被选为水牛城的国会议员 who has just been elected Buffalo's representative to Congress.
接下来我们要给埃文一个小惊喜 And, now, we have a surprise for Evan.
- 不必了吧 - 还是要的 - No, you don't. - We do.
不要了 我还真没料到 Oh, no. I really didn't expect this.
让我们来回顾一下他的竞选历程 Here's a look back at his run for office.
我们目标是 What are we gonna do?
改变世界 Change the world!
非常对 That's right!
巴克斯特 巴克斯特 巴克斯特 Baxter! Baxter! Baxter!
大家好 Hi.
巴克斯特 巴克斯特 Baxter! Baxter!
就是这样 That's right!
我觉得有点要老泪纵横了 I feel like that old Indian in front of all the garbage.
我是"目击者报社"的埃文·巴克斯特 So, for the last time,
这是最后一次为你带来报道 晚安 this is Evan Baxter for Eyewitness News. Good night.
距弗吉尼亚州 亨茨维尔 的普莱斯迪格山庄还有四英里 Huntsville, Virginia. Prestige Crest, four miles.
如果没有卫星导航系统的话 我们接下来会怎么走? What did we do before GPS?
无计可施 Nothing.
孩子们 爸爸又在吹捧他的新车了 Guys, Dad's very proud of his new car.
我是对我的新车很满意 我现在可是政治家了 Hey, I am proud of my new car. Look, I'm a politician now.
我现在是公众人物了 当你们也成为公众人物时 I'm in the public eye, and as you know, when you are in the public eye,
你们也会觉得形象能代表了一切 难道不是吗? image is everything, isn't it?
我们到了! 欢迎开始新的生活 Here it is! Welcome to the good life.
孩子们 干嘛拉长着脸啊? 我们要开始新的生活了 Hey, guys, why the long faces? We're off on a new adventure!
我们只是想念原来的朋友 It's just we're going to miss our friends.
你们会结识到新的 更好的朋友 You'll make new friends, better friends.
是更富有的朋友 Yeah, richer friends.
不准顶嘴 我是你老爸 Do not mouth off to me, sir. I am the boss of you.
让我来告诉你们 你们会爱上这个地方的 And let me tell you something, you guys are gonna love this place.
知道吗? 还有个小湖供我们钓鱼 And you know what? I think there's something for our fishermen up there.
巴克斯特的家庭成员们 这才是美景 Baxter family, this is what's called a scenic vista.
我觉得上帝能也只能做到这样了 很酷 对吧? And I don't think the big man himself could do a better job. Pretty cool, huh?
嘿 爸爸 大蜥蜴可以在水下待28分钟 Hey, Dad, an iguana can stay underwater for 28 minutes.
那是什么? What's that?
- 虾的心脏是长在头上的 - 真的吗? - And a shrimp's heart is in its head. - Really?
好了 每个人一生都会有 适合自己的家园 Okay, someone's had enough Animal Planet for one lifetime.
我们去新家看看吧 走吧 去看最精彩的 Yeah, let's head out! Come on. The best is yet to come!
孩子们 我把最精彩的放在了最后 Gentlemen, I have saved the best for last.
往右看 那就是你们的新家 Look over to the right.That is your new home.
这就是我们的家吗? That's our house?
是的 宣传单子上的房子 并没有这么大啊 Uh- huh.I don't remember it being this big in the brochure.
这是宣传单上那个房子吗? Was it this big in the brochure?
很不错 是吧? Pretty amazing, isn't it?
他们来了 There they are!
路边有什么可值得留恋的? Is this curb appeal or what?
我们走吧 Here we go!
宝贝儿 你把我的照片挡了 Honey, I think you're blocking my photo.
对不起 Sorry.
没事儿 大家一起喊"成交" All right, everybody! Say "escrow"!
成交 Escrow!
快点 快点 快点 Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Go. Go. Go.
孩子们 小心 Guys, easy.
这真的是我们的家吗? This is our house?
是的 Uh- huh.
小心点 Careful!
- 宝贝儿 小心 - 当心 - Honey, be careful! - Watch it!
你开玩笑的吧? Are you kidding me?
- 妈妈 我们可以上楼吗? - 可以 - Mom, can we go upstairs? - Yep.
- 我可以去我的房间吗? - 可以 - And I get my own room, right? - Yep.
巴克斯特先生 能对厨房的橱柜给出点意见不能? Mr. Baxter, could you give us some direction on these kitchen cabinets?
当然 Sure.
好的 你可以选枫木或者巴西樱桃木 Okay, it's between your maple and your old- growth Brazilian cherry.
这真棒! 哪个更好点? That is nice! Which is best?
如果你不在太意"保护雨林"这类宣传 Well, if you're not sensitive to that "save the rainforest" stuff,
那就不能错过巴西樱桃木 you can't beat the Brazilian cherry.
它应经有二三百年的历史了 It's 200, 300 years old.
- 300年? - 300年 - Three hundred years. - Three hundred.
哇 真够古老的 Wow. That is old.
而你就打算就是用这个来装我盘子? And now you are going to hold my dishes.
是的 那就用巴西樱桃木吗? That's right. You going with the cherry? Cheery cherry!
- 当然 - 他选了樱桃木! - Yeah. Definitely. - He's going with the cherry!
爸爸! Dad, look!
不要 不要! No, no, no!
赖安 别碰他! Ryan, do not touch him, please!
不 不 不 放开他! Oh, no, no, no, no, get him away!
他身上可能有虱子 跳蚤 蛆或别的什么 No. He might have lice, fleas, maggots or something.
不要与流浪狗玩 因为他们非常... You do not play with stray dogs because they are very...
不 不! 滚开! 滚! No, no! Get away, get away! Go!
不要 Okay. Oh, no, no, no.
- 他渴了 - 不行 - He's thirsty. - No, no, no.
不 你不能这么喝 这样好了 No, you don't! There we go.
赖安 这是条流浪狗 Well, Ryan, he's a stray.
如果我们给他水喝 他会再回来的 If we give him water, he's just going to come back.
求求你 爸爸 为什么不能留下它? 我们现在有新房子了 Come on, Dad, why can't we keep him? I mean, we've got a new house.
所以我们不能收留他 赖安 Okay, Ryan, this is why we can't keep him.
他们又臭又脏 还会弄得到处都是狗毛 They are stinky. They are smelly. They get hair all over the place.
他们还会患狗皮癣 They get a little thing called the mange.
总之 他很恶心 这就是个例子 In a nutshell, he is disgusting. Case in point.
女士们 先生们 Ladies and gentlemen,
巴克斯特崭新生活的第一天 就这么结束了 this concludes day one of the Baxters' new and exciting life.
我得为我的新房子跳上一曲 I have to do the new house dance.
哇! 这叫跳舞吗? Wow! That dance?
这新房舞真不赖啊 That's a good new house dance.
谢谢 Thank you.
要知道 孩子们今晚玩的很开心 You know, those boys were having so much fun tonight,
我都不愿让他们睡觉 I thought I would never get them to bed.
赖安还出了个很棒的主意 他建议我们在一起祈祷 And then Ryan did the cutest thing. He asked if we could all pray together.
真的吗? 你们都祈祷了些什么? Really? What did you pray about?
他看到了条狗 除此之外他还能祈祷什么呢? He met a dog. What do you think he prayed for?
那狗真令人作呕 Just a walking petri dish, that dog.
而乔丹非常细心 And Jordan was very precise.
他希望明天外出郊游时 天空晴朗可以将美景尽收眼底 He prayed for good visibility, good weather on the hiking trip tomorrow.
郊游吗? 对 明天去郊游 The hiking trip? Oh, right. Yeah. The hiking trip. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
你想知道我祈祷了什么吗? You wanna know what I prayed for?
想 你为什么事而祈祷啊? Yeah. What did you pray for?
我祈祷我们一家能够更亲密无间 I prayed we would become closer as a family.
宝贝儿 你不必为那事祈祷 我会让它实现的 Honey, you don't need to pray for that to happen. I will make that happen.
你会为什么祈祷? What would you pray for?
我吗? 不知道 为了... Me? I don't know. Praying just...
宝贝儿 你说你要改变世界 Honey, you're the one who said you wanted to change the world.
这可是个艰巨的任务啊 It's a pretty big job.
如果我想改变世界 那么我会寻求一切帮助 If it were me, I would take all the help I could get.
原水牛城新闻主持 埃文·巴克斯特明天即将上任 Former Buffalo News anchor, Evan Baxter, takes office tomorrow
来兑现他的竞选承诺 to make good on a lofty campaign promise.
我们的目标是? What are we going to do?
改变世界! Change the world!
国会议员 祝你好运 很多人试过但不少人都失败了 Good luck, Congressman. Many have tried, many have failed.
大家好! Hello!
这是瑞吉娜·斯巴克的报导... This is Regina Sparks reporting for...
上帝 你好 Hello, there. Hi.
我是埃文·巴克斯特 This is Evan Baxter.
只想给你说声谢谢 感谢你赐于我们一切 Just wanted to say thank you for everything.
谢谢你给了我新车和新房 Thank you for the new car and for the house.
这房子太棒了 我很喜欢 The house is great. I love it.
虽然这是我自己挑的 但是你创造了这一切 所以... I mean, I picked it out, but you created matter and everything, so...
我只想说 琼说的很有道理 I just wanted to say that I think Joan makes a good point,
现在我执掌了更大的权力 and that I am now in a position of great power,
我知道权力越大意味着责任也越大 and I know that with great power comes great responsibility.
上帝啊 So, God,
请帮我一起改变世界吧 Please help me change the world.
好了 这就是我的愿望 Okay. That's it. I'm hanging up now.
上帝保佑 God bless... Well, you. Okay.
怎么回事? 太奇怪了 What? That's weird.
怎么了? What?
我原把闹钟调到7点 I set the alarm for 7:00.
成功 有权 英俊 I am successful. I am powerful. I am handsome.
开心 有权 成功 有权 英俊 开心 I am happy, successful, powerful, handsome, happy.
各位 祝我好运吧 议员大人要出发了 All right, everyone, wish me luck. The Congressman has left the building.
巴克斯特家的小子们 我们下午郊游时见 好吗? All right, Baxter brood, I will see you later on this afternoon for the big hike. Yes?
激动吗?你们准备好了吗? You psyched? Are you ready?
准备好了 Yeah.
- 再见 到时见 - 好运 宝贝儿 - Bye. See you. - Good luck, honey.
- 孩子们 再见! - 待会见. - Bye, guys! - See you later.
待会见 Later, gator.
哎呀 Oh, gosh.
亲爱的 你订东西了吗? Wow. Honey, did you order anything?
"阿尔法欧米茄五金用具" "Alpha and Omega Hardware"?
从没听说过这个牌子 Never heard of them.
我也没听说过 Me either.
看看这是什么? What do we have?
这些是什么东西? What is this stuff?
一定是寄错了 Must have the wrong address.
地址错了 Yup. The wrong address.
- 巴克斯特议员 早上好 - 早上好 - Congressman Baxter. Good morning. - Good morning.
- 早上好 巴克斯特议员 - 你好 - Good morning, Congressman Baxter. - Hello.
- 早上好 巴克斯特议员 - 早上好 - Good morning, Congressman Baxter. - Good morning.
这感觉太爽了 Oh, this is so cool.
这是我的办公室 Yeah. This'll work.
头儿 你来了! 现在你可是大人物耶 There he is! The head honcho. The big kahuna.
丽塔 我想我应该跳个舞 I think I have to do the dance.
那就跳吧 Do the dance.
跳够了吧 That's enough of the dance.
这儿真棒! 太漂亮了! Oh, this is nice! This is really nice!
这太好了 以至于有些不真实 This is too nice. There's something crooked going on.
你嗅到什么了吗? Do you smell anthrax?
议员好! 马蒂 你好! Congressman! Hey, Marty!
见到你真高兴 我也是 Nice sound to that. I like it.
他们来了! Here they are!
很好 All right.
你还记得萨拉 亚伦 麦克 You remember Sarah, Allen, Michael.
你还不认识这位新人吧 尤金·特纳宝马 I don't think you know the new kid Eugene Tennanbaum.
我在乔治华盛顿大学发现他的 I found him at G.W.
他就像台活电脑一样 演示一下 1818年国旗上有多少颗星? Sort of a walking search engine. Watch this. How many stars on the flag in 1818?
15颗 15.
巴克斯特议员的喝咖啡习惯? And Congressman Baxter's coffee habits?
早上吃炸圈饼 饭后低咖啡因的意大利咖啡 He likes a morning latte with a cruller, a decaf espresso after lunch,
不加任何油酥面团 served sans pastry of any kind.
佩服 虽然有点诡异 但我还是很喜欢这小伙 Very impressive. A little freaky, but I like this kid.
我太喜欢你了 I love you.
什么? Hmm?
我们应该一起出去进行些社交活动 我有张乒乓桌 I mean, we should hang out socially. I just got a ping- pong table.
不会再有这种事了 Not going to happen.
去找一下他的牌照 各位回到自己的座位上去 Go find out where his license plates are. Everybody else, back to your holes.
他说的对 He was actually right.
我得去查一下那小子的背景 I'm doing a background check on that kid.
这是你的办公室 再次提醒一下你的任务! Ta- da! This, my friend, is a power office, to remind you of the mission!
"改变世界!" "Change the world!"
- 埃文 你结识什么人? - 什么意思? - Okay, Evan, who do you know? - What do you mean?
得了吧 昨天我们还在地下室办公 Oh, come on. Yesterday we're in the basement.
而今天 看看这房子 简直就像来到了天堂! Today, look at this place. It's like the Emerald City!
"好好享用办公室 还有你的邻居 朗议员" "Enjoy your office. Your neighbor, Congressman Long."
这是朗议员安排的吗? 你是说"邻居"吗? Congressman Long did this? Did you say "neighbor"?
是的 他也住在普莱斯迪格山庄 就在北面的那条街上 That's right. He lives in Prestige Crest, right up the street.
埃文 你得告诉我这事 从交际的角度试想一下! Evan, you got to tell me these things. Think of the publicity angle on this!
你和郎议员一起烧烤 You and Congressman Long having a barbecue.
郎议员吃着你做的热狗 Congressman Long eating your hot dog.
抱歉打断一下 Hate to break up your little weenie roast.
郎议员的助理刚送来了这些 Congressman Long's assistant just dropped this off.
郎议员想让你 The Congressman would like for you
作为他所提议的这项议案的联署人 to junior cosponsor this bill that he's introducing.
等等 郎议员邀请我们作为他议案的联署人? 什么议案? Hold on. Congressman Long asked us to junior cosponsor his bill? What's the bill?
公民合并公用土地法案 The Citizens' Integration of Public Lands Act.
从没听说过 尤金马上过来一下 Never heard of it. Gene, here, now.
丽塔 你为什么不告诉我此事? Rita, why didn't you tell me about this?
我刚才说了 I just did.
你应该提前告诉我 You need to tell me about it before I need to know about it.
- 马蒂 你并不是副议员 - 我可是... - Marty, you are not the vice congressman. - I am the legislative...
没有谁为你投票 即使埃文头部中弹 你也不会自动提升... Nobody voted for you. If Evan gets shot in the head, you do not automatically...
如果埃文被击 你是头号疑犯 If Evan got shot in the head, you're the first suspect.
有话好好说 Play nice. Play nice.
尤金 这是郎议员的议案 是关于什么的? All right, Eugene, Congressman Long's bill. What is it?
HR7124又叫新计划 HR7124, better known as CINPLAN.
议案将讨论开发国家公园的边缘区域 The bill would open up fringe areas of the national parks for development.
这几年来 郎议员一直在试图推动这项议案... Long's been sitting on it for ages...
明白啦 埃文 这可是个大案子 Got it. Pause. Come on, Evan, this is huge.
努力吧 实现你的崇高目标吧 You hitch your wagon to the right star,
你可以平步青云 直奔宾州 you could ride all the way down to Pennsylvania Avenue.
这才第一天 This is day one.
你就可以在主要法律议案上署名了 You got your name on a major piece of legislation!
还有一件事 他希望你今天就能看完 Oh, and another thing, he wants you to read it today.
今天不行 Well, I can't do it today.
- 我答应我儿子... - 尤金 - I promised my kids... - Eugene.
这个议案时间很紧急 Well, sir, there's a time clock on the bill.
如果郎议员想在这个季度通过这个法案 If Congressman Long wants to pass it this quarter,
那么他就得马上向委员会提出议案 he's going to have to introduce it to the committee immediately.
我个人支持巴克斯特议员 所做出的任何决定 I'm personally going with whatever Congressman Baxter decides,
如果我想成为某个人的话 那一定就是你巴克斯特议员 because if I could be like one man, it'd be him.
要么是克瑞姆 Either him or Kareem.
我可以赞成他吗? Can I tase him?
尤金! 打住! Gene! Heel!
那就是你了 It'd probably be you.
这就对了 埃文! 这正是我们来这儿的原因! Come on, Evan, this is it! This is why we came here!
改变世界的时机来了! It's world- changing time!
有人在家吗? Hey, anybody home?
请进 我们在这儿呢! Come on. We're in here!
孩子们 Hey, guys.
爸爸 猜猜看? 我帮你的东西装起来了 所以 我们可以... Dad, guess what? I got all your stuff packed up so that we can...
怎么了? What's wrong?
我们不去了 是吗? We're not going, are we?
先得处理重要的事 我已被邀请作为议案的联署人 First things first. I have been asked to junior cosponsor a bill.
好的 Yeah.
看吧? 我早告诉你们了 你们欠我5块钱 See? I told you. And you owe me five bucks.
噢 噢 孩子们 Whoa, whoa, guys.
嘿 嘿 我们不得不做出让步 对吧? Hey. Hey, we said we would have to make sacrifices, right?
是的 随便吧 住了新房子 而老爸却还是那个样 Yeah. Whatever. New house, same old dad.
我今天必须要完看这些东西! Hey, I'm the one who has to read this thing!
嘿 你知道了吗? 我被邀请作为议案的联署人 Hey. Did you hear? Junior cosponsor of a bill.
好吧 赖安 我们把这些东西整理一下吧 爸爸要工作了 Okay, Ry, let's clean all this stuff up. Dad's got work to do.
不 才6点14 No. It's 6:14.
当然 该死的闹钟又报错时间了 Of course. Voodoo clock speaks again.
在干什么呢... What the...
喂! 喂! 喂! 不要 Hey! Hey! Hey! No. Okay.
哇 哇 哇! 哇! 怎么回事? Whoa, whoa! Whoa, whoa! What's going on?
我是为埃文·巴克斯特先生送货的! I got a delivery for Evan Baxter!
这不是我的 我没订这些东西! Yeah, that's not mine. I didn't order that!
我只负责送货 有问题的话 就打那个电话! I just deliver, guy, huh? You got a complaint, call the number!
嗨! 我们是416号 不是614号! No! Hey! Listen! We are 416, not 614!
你送错地方了! 你不能把这些东西放在这儿! You've got the wrong house! You can't leave that there!
喂! 喂! Listen! Listen!
你惹麻烦了! That's going to leave a brown patch!
我是美国国会议员! I am a U.S. Congressman!
创世纪6:14 Dad, what are you doing? I'm watching this.
爸 你干嘛呢? 我正看着呢 Dad, what are you doing? I'm watching this.
创世纪 6章14节 Genesis 6:14.
创世纪 6章14节 Gen 6:14.
琼! 圣经放哪儿了? Joan! Do we have a Bible anywhere?
创世纪 6章14节 Genesis 6:14.
"用歌斐木造一只方舟..." "Make thee an ark of gopher wood..."
歌斐木 Gopher wood.
"去找些木头来" 明白了吗? "Go- four- wood." Get it?
并不一定要歌斐木 我只是喜欢玩文字游戏 Well, it's not really gopher wood. I just like the wordplay.
只是一些松树或是枫树 No, it's pine and maple.
为了给这引些房子腾地方被砍掉了 It was clear- cut from this valley to make room for all those houses.
抱歉 我认识你吗? Excuse me. Do I know you?
没有我想象中那么欢迎 Not as well as I'd like.
你收了我的乔迁贺礼 I see you got my housewarming gift.
那些是你送的吗? That was you? You sent those?
你为什么要送我啊? What are they for? Hey! Hey.
创世纪第6章14节 Genesis, chapter six, verse fourteen.
我想叫你造一只方舟 I want you to build an ark.
你想叫我造一只方舟? You want me to build an ark.
是的 Yes.
所以你送我工具 还有这些木料? So that's why the tools. And you are responsible for the wood?
好吧 让我们说清楚 All right. Well, let's just start over.
你好 我是埃文... Hello, I am Evan...
埃文·巴克斯特 出生于1962年6月15号 Evan Baxter. Born June 15, 1962.
8磅11盎司 Eight pounds, 11 ounces.
你母亲是凯罗尔·安·帕克 Mother's Carroll Ann Parker.
你父亲叫尤金·埃文·巴克特斯 Father, Eugene Evan Baxter.
你在网上做了我的调查 真佩服 你还看了电视吧? You have internet access. Very impressive. Do you also have cable?
你很爱干净 你很在乎外表 You're a clean freak. You care much too much about your outward appearance.
你的左奶头比右奶头高了0.25英寸 Your left nipple is a quarter inch higher than your right nipple.
你小时候 还怕小泥人甘比 And when you were a little boy, you were afraid of Gumby.
你到底是谁? Who are you?
我是上帝 I'm God.
你是上帝吗? You're God?
是的 我想让你 埃文·巴克斯特 造一只方舟 Yes. And I want you, Evan Baxter, to build an ark.
好的 你知道吗? 我想我们的谈话应该结束了! Okay. You know what? This conversation is a little thing I like to call over!
我得走了老实说 我要去造只方舟了 But I got to get going, because, frankly, I have an ark to build.
很忙 很忙 很忙 很高兴遇见你 保重! Busy, busy, busy, busy. Nice meeting you. Take care. Oh, and...
好吧 下次见! All right, see you later!
埃文 清醒一下吧 那疯子已经走了 Shake it off, Evan. It's over. The nutcase is gone.
我是成功人士 我很有权 我很英俊 我很快乐 I am successful, I'm powerful, I'm handsome, I'm happy.
成功 权利 英俊 快乐 Successful, powerful, handsome, happy.
醒醒吧 孩子 智慧之旅开始了 Get it out, son. It's the beginning of wisdom.
你怎么上来的? 我要报警了 How did you get in here? I'm calling the cops.
没必要! 你看看! 警察就在那儿呢 Oh, no. No need! Look! Look. There's one right there. Right there.
长官! 长官! 有人劫车! 有人劫车! Officer! Officer! Officer! Carjacker! Carjacker in the car! Carjacker in the car!
车子要小心停靠 人行道上有人 Careful pulling out. Pedestrian in the crosswalk.
正在上映: 圣母玛丽四十
忘掉他! 忘掉他! Shake it off, shake it off! Shake it off, shake it off!
头儿 早上好! Good morning, chief!
早上好 丽塔 Good morning, Rita.
吓死我了! 怎么回事啊? You almost scared me to death! What's wrong with you?
没事 只是碰到了些怪事 Nothing. Just sort of a weird ride in.
什么怪事? Weird how?
这真的很荒诞 It was just a weird ride in.
好了 谢谢你的解释 Okay, well, thanks for clarifying.
这些是你的邮件和行程 Here's your mail and your schedule. Okay.
他们把电话修好了 我的分机是614 And they finally fixed the phones. My new extension is 614.
是的 614 Yeah. 614?
好的 Right.
你要我把它记下吗? You want me to write that down?
我希望你不要 I'd rather you didn't.
早上好 Good morning.
嘿 朗议员带来了一个在众议院资源委员会的席位 Hey, Long came through with that seat on the House Resource Committee.
这下你攀到高枝了 我的朋友 You stuck in your thumb and pulled out a plum, my friend.
还有国会上用的车牌送来了 Also, the new Congressional plates just came in.
尤金 把车牌拿过来 水牛城办公室的艾丽克斯生小孩了 Gene, plates, now. And Alex at the Buffalo office had her baby.
- 男孩还是女孩? - 小男孩 这是他的照片 - Boy or girl? - A little boy. And here he is.
很可爱的一个小东西 对这么丑的女人 体重是多少... Just as cute as a button. Not bad for such an ugly woman. Weighed in at...
6磅14盎司 Six pounds, 14 ounces.
你怎么知道的? How'd you know that?
我猜的 Lucky guess.
真烫手啊! 还是刚出炉的! 开玩笑的 这是你的车牌 Hot, hot, hot! Hot off the press! It's a joke. Here are your plates, sir.
这可是给大明星的车牌啊 你可以在任何地方停车 Those are rock- star plates, man. You can park anywhere.
你不能就这么坐着 You can't be sitting in a chair.
5分钟后你有个会议 You've got a committee meeting in five minutes.
快点 BMIC 国会的大人物埃文·巴克斯特 大鲨鱼要出发了 Come on, BMIC, Big Man in Congress. Evan Baxter, the shark on the move.
众议院资源委员会准备就绪 House Resources Committee is now in order.
委员会主席委派田纳西州女议员 The Chair recognizes the congresswoman from Tennessee
带领宣誓效忠 to lead the Pledge of Allegiance.
我宣誓为国旗效忠... I pledge allegiance to the flag...
我宣誓为 I pledge allegiance to the flag
美利坚合众国的旗帜 of the United States of America
和它所代表的... and to the Republic, for which it stands...
- 我的国家... - 上帝之下的这个国家... ...- one nation, under me... - One nation, under God...
给所有人自由与公正的 不可分割的这个国家宣誓效忠 Indivisible, with liberty and justice for all.
你打算撑多久 孩子? 我可是永恒的 How long do you want to do this, son? I've got all eternity.
年轻人 你还好吗? Hey. You okay, young man?
- 发生什么事了? - 你晕倒了 - What happened? - You fainted.
在宣誓效忠时 像叶子一样掉了 Dropped like a leaf during the Pledge of Allegiance.
我是恰克·郎 众议院资源委员会主席 Chuck Long, Resources Committee Chairman.
哦 郎议员 对刚才的事我非常抱歉 Oh. Oh. Congressman Long. Yes. Oh, I'm so sorry about...
别放在心上! 许多人在国会的 第一天都是如此的 Forget it! Many a man's been humbled by his first day in Congress.
那个办公室你还喜欢吗? So, how'd you like that office?
那简直是太棒了 是的 我喜欢 谢谢 Oh, it was great. Yes. Thank you, sir.
对于新人 那个办公室还不错吧? Not bad for a freshman dorm room, huh?
大致说一下 So here's the skinny.
我打算让你加入我的土地使用议案 I'm bringing you into my land use bill
你是那种全力投入事业的人 because you strike me as the type of guy
这点很能打动我 who knows how to hit the ground running.
我正在看那个议案 那起草的太好了 不过还有些问题 Yes, sir. I read the bill, and it's great. I just had a few questions.
这是我起草的议案 我也觉得有点问题 Hey, I wrote the thing and I have a few questions.
稍后我们会解决这些问题的 那么 你要加入我们吗? We'll get to the questions later. So, you with us?
- 是的 我要加入你们 - 太棒了! - Yes, sir. I'm in. - Wonderful!
我需要你帮我起草意向书 I'll need you to put that into a letter of intent,
当然要等你准备好的时候 好好准备吧 as soon as you're feeling up to it, of course. You get yourself better.
好好享用那办公室 Enjoy that office.
谢谢 Thank you, sir.
一直看着那些法案 他太累了 He's exhausted from reading that bill.
只是搬动那些议案 我就累得头昏眼花了 I got woozy from just carrying it.
埃文 坐一下吧 Evan, sit down.
埃文 你怎么了? Evan, what happened to you?
你不应该在宣誓效忠时晕倒的 那可是太不像美国人行为了 You can't faint during the Pledge of Allegiance. It's un- American.
太好了 医生在这儿 Oh, good. The doctor's here.
张嘴 Say "ah."
回家好好休息一下 然后着手造方舟 听懂了吗? Just go home, get some rest and start on that ark. You hear me?
埃文? Evan?
O.K. 上帝告诫诺亚洪水即将爆发... O.K. God warned noah about the great flood was coming...
诺亚为妻子和3个儿子造着方舟... Noah build the ark for his wife and 3 sons...
这个方舟三百英尺长 五十英尺高 The ark was 300 qubics long and 50 qubics high
嘿 Heyyy!
- 你干嘛呢? - 恩恩 - What are you doing? - Hmmm...
在看托德的议案吗? Going over Todd's Bill?
是啊...我正在看呢... Yea...That's what i was looking at... Oh man...
有一大堆... 一大堆资料要看 ...there's a lot... ...a lot of research to do on it
知道吗 大卫 被吓坏是很正常的 You know David, you have every right to be freaked out
我没有担心 我为什么担心呢? I'm not freaked out, why would i be freaked out?
我很是担心 担心你的以后 从你说有了新的工作... I'm freaking out, because of the future just listen you just got a new job ...
你的议案 新的地方 一切都是新的 我都快抓狂了 ...and then with this freaking bill your working on... ...sofort and on and on...
你觉得我压力过大了吗? The name is stressed
亲爱的 我们相识20年了... 我知道你承受了很大压力 Oh no honey, i've known you 20 years... ...i know your stressed
那是Sugary Cocaine They're getting to much sugar in they're blood
谢谢 宝贝儿 Thank you honey - O.K.
她说的对 这太荒唐了 She's right This is cracy
我只是压力太大了 见鬼去吧 方舟 I'm just stressed and you are gone
孩子们 早上好 Good Morning
早上好 Good Morning
早上好 你还好吗? Good Morning, how are you?
有人今天心情很好 Somebody is in a good mood
的确 我觉得你昨天说的很有道理 I am, i thought about what you said and you're right,
我要向着目标一步一步来 i need to get my head on straight
猜猜看? 这个周末我们去徒步郊游 Guess what? this weekend we're going on a Hike- ing trip
- 过来... 耶... 击掌 - 我们周末要去徒步郊游了 - Hurray... Yeeaa... high five it. - We're going on a hiking trip
我们要去徒步郊游了 We're gonna have a rightess hiking trip
爸爸快看! 有2只鸽子 预示着幸运 Hey dad look! 2 doves that's supose to be good luck
那今天一定是我的幸运日 Well today must be my lucky day
- 大家再见 - 再见 - Bye guys - Bye bye
早上好 小猫们 走开了 这可不是你们的家 Good morning kitty Keep moving... break it up
多余的木头 如果你拉走就是你的
喂! 别在我的草地上拉屎! Hey! When you're on my lawn keep it in your pot!
喔 哇 嘿! 谢谢分享 Ohh... ohh... hey! Thank's for sharing
国会议员 埃文·巴克斯特
你真是准点 You're right on time.
郎刚才打电话来了 他和那些大人物们正在路上 Long just called. He's on his way with the powers that be.
尤金 说说有哪些大人物啊 Who are they, Gene? Talk.
吉姆·道得 众议院筹款委员会主席 Congressman Jim Dodd, head of Ways and Means.
别担心 他并不卑鄙 But don't worry, sir, he's definitely not "way mean."
这只是猜测 对他本人 我不太了解 That's speculation. I don't know him personally...
尤金 太啰嗦了 还有谁? That's too much, Gene. Who else?
理查德·斯坦普议员 商务部部长 Congressman Richard Stamp, head of Commerce,
还有交通部的鲍勃·海斯 and Bob Hughes is Transportation.
我已经起草了你的证明信 I have a draft of your support letter.
- 计划的不错啊 - 你还好吧? - Sounds like a plan. - Are you all right?
我很好 I'm good.
你确定吗? 好吧 You sure you're good? Okay.
- 早上好 头儿 - 早上好 丽塔 - Good morning, chief. - Good morning, Rita.
- 你还好吧? - 还不错 - Are you okay? - I'm fine.
- 你看起来还不太好 - 我也这么认为 - You don't look so good. - That's what I said.
你好像有点胆颤心惊的 你在服用芬- 芬吗? You're all jumpy. Are you on that Fen- Phen?
伙计们 我很好 我进去了 Guys, I'm fine. I'll be inside.
不 不 不 不要 No, no, no, no.
不要 好了 不 不 不 No. Okay. No, no. No. No, no. No.
不 不 不要 我的天啊! No, no, no. Oh, my gosh!
伙计们 不 不要! 出去! 出去! 我的头发! Guys! No, no! Get out! Get out! Oh, my hair!
先生们 非常欢迎 我很荣幸你们能来到这儿 Gentlemen, welcome. What an honor to have you here.
我叫马蒂·斯俊格 巴克斯特议员的幕僚长 I'm Marty Stringer. I'm Congressman Baxter's chief of staff.
这位是丽塔·丹尼尔斯 巴克斯特议员的助手 This is Rita Daniels, his executive assistant.
你准备好了吗? Are you ready, sir?
再等一会儿 不 不 不要 真脏 真脏 脏东西! Just a minute. No, no, no, no. Dirty, dirty, dirty! Big one!
巴克斯特虽然还是个新人 但你会发现他很有潜力 Baxter's only a freshman, sir, but I think you'll find he is locked and loaded.
很好 但愿这个年轻人 能帮我搞定这些老朽 Good. Maybe this young stud can help me get these old mares on board.
哦 他会给你留下良好印象的 Oh, you'll be impressed.
先生们 很高兴见到你们 Gentlemen, good to see you.
议员 你要不要解释下 这是怎么回事吗? Do you want to explain yourself, Congressman? What is going on?
哦 这些 Oh, these
是鸟 Are birds.
他们在这儿干嘛? 是怎么进来的? What are they doing here? How did they get in here?
这个问题问的好 Well, that is an excellent question.
我的答案是 And my response to said question is,
他们是经过训练 they are trained
飞行专家 先生 aviaries, sir.
让你们见识一下 我所说的 Let me make you see what I'm talking about.
不管我如何动 他们都不会飞走! I can make any sort of movement, and they will not get off!
这么做有什么意义吗 议员? Do you have a point, Congressman?
嘿 伙计们 这个有意义吗? Hey, guys, what's the point?
我的重点是? What's my point?
让我来告诉你们 I'll tell you.
重点就是 The point is
人类 that man
需要学会支配其他生物 needs to dominate creatures
最终人类可以 and, ultimately, man must
控制国内所发生的任何事 dictate what happens in this country.
上帝保佑美国 God bless America.
我非常同意 I couldn't agree more.
你没开玩笑吧 You have got to be kidding me.
没有当然没有 No, of course not.
就因为这些红头啄木鸟 去年我们丢掉了很多项目 We lost a huge project last year because of the red- headed woodpecker.
那些环保主义者全副武装起来 Those environmentalists got so up in arms
来保护这些愚蠢的鸟类... over the potential disappearance of one stupid bird...
是啊 有时鸟儿的确很愚蠢 Yeah, birds are stupid sometimes.
为此我们损失了差不多2500万美金 ...we lost over $25 million in business.
我终于明白你的用意了 议员先生 干的不错! I see where you're going with this, Congressman. Good work!
你的演示很是成功 先生们 Your little display has obviously hit a chord. Gentlemen.
从现在起 我不想再看到任何惊喜 明白了吗? From now on, let's keep the surprises to a maximum of, say, none. Understood?
好的 先生 非常明白 Yes, sir. Absolutely, sir.
埃文 太棒了 虽然有点冒险 但还是很有创意 Evan, that was brilliant. Risky, but brilliant.
这是怎么回事... What the...
告诉你们一件事 这些鸟儿在飞进来前都吃撑了 I'll tell you one thing, these birds had a nice big meal before they flew in here.
要我去拿空气枪吗? You want me to get my BB gun?
你们知道我想要干什么的? 快开门 You know what I want you to do? I want you to open the door.
开门? Open the door?
快点开门! Just open the door!
我一走出去你们就马上关门! 照我说做! Close the door after I leave! Just do it!
好的 Okay.
一 二 三! One, two, three!
天哪 如果我染上禽流感 他得付我医药费! Man, if I get the bird flu, he is paying for my medical bills!
羊! Sheep!
不 不要 Oh, no.
天哪 Oh, gosh.
滚! 滚开! Go, go, go! Get out!
不 Okay. No.
不要过来 No. No.
不要这样 我要疯了! I'm not doing this. It's insane!
不要! No!
够了! Enough already!
如果你造只方舟 你就可以把他们放在一起了 See, if you had an ark, you'd have a place to put them all.
你为什么要这样做? 为什么要选我? Why are you doing this? Why me?
还不是时候 先走吧 It's not time yet. Go on. Go on.
先走吧 Yeah, go on.
怎么样? 感觉像生活在水深火热之中吗? So how about it? Feel like living on the edge?
这一切很美 不是吗? 我还记得如何创造了这个山谷 Beautiful, isn't it? I remember creating this valley.
还记得山是如何由东向西蔓延的 Notice how the mountains line up east to west.
还有很多阳光 That's so there'd be lots of sunshine.
我们在哪儿呢? Where are we?
认不出来 是吧? Don't recognize it, eh?
认不出来 No.
这就是你住的地方 孩子 普莱斯迪格山庄 This is where you live, son. This is Prestige Crest.
我想让你看看这儿原来的面貌 I wanted you to see the original design.
那你真的是他 上帝? So, you're really him, aren't you?
你还需要其他证明吗? 我很久没把人变为盐柱了 You want more proof? I haven't done the pillar of salt thing in a while.
好吧 我相信你 我只是不明白你为什么选中我 That's all right. I believe you. I just... I don't understand why you chose me.
因为你想要改变世界 孩子 You want to change the world, son.
我也想 So do I.
什么? 那为什么要造方舟呢? 我认为 方舟是为了抵御洪水的 What? Well, why an ark? I mean, that's like flood territory.
你不会再让洪水淹没世界吧 你不会再那样做的 你会吗? You wouldn't do that again. You wouldn't do that. Would you do that?
无论我做什么 Let's just say that whatever I do,
都是出于我爱你们 I do because I love you.
那你也该明白 造方舟的事 Well, then you have to understand that this whole building- an- ark thing
并不在我的计划内 is really not part of my plans here.
我需要安置好我的家人 在工作上做出成绩 I need to settle into my house. I need to make a good impression at work.
怎么了? What?
你的计划 这个有点... Your plans. That's just...
你想说什么... What are you talking...
我们在讨论方舟 对吗? 造方舟? We're talking about an ark, right? I mean, an ark?
造方舟是个大工程! 我都不知道该从哪儿着手! An ark is huge! I don't even know where I would begin!
我经常听到此类的抱怨 Well, I hear that a lot.
人们想改变世界 却不知从哪做起 People want to change the world, don't know how to begin.
你想知道怎样改变世界 孩子? You want to know how to change the world, son?
不经意地做一些善意的小事 One act of random kindness at a time.
造方舟吧 Build the ark.
告诉你吧 你造方舟 而我将方舟填满 I'll tell you what. You build it, I'll fill it.
如果有人问起 你就告诉他们洪水要来了 And if anybody asks, tell them a flood's coming.
哦 你可能需要这本书做参考 Oh, and you might need this.
好吧 那我该怎么做呢? 我有木材... Well, okay. Okay, so what do I do? I grab the wood and...
好吧 Well, okay.
你太残忍了 You know, that's just cruel.
你看到他了吗? Do you see him?
我没看到 I don't see him.
"方舟的传统造法" "Building an Ark the Old- Fashioned Way."
"上帝是天与地创始人" "God is the creator of the Heavens and the Earth.
"他创造了万物 "He lives in all things and
有着超过67亿子孙." has over six billion seven hundred million children."
亲爱的? 你还好吗? 需要什么吗? Honey? You okay? You need something?
不 不用 只是东西掉了 No, nothing. Just dropped something.
好 好 Okay. Okay.
好了 Yeah.
就这样 好的 There we go. Okay.
怎么了 我是说 胡子? 胡子太脏了 Come on. I mean, a beard? A beard's so dirty.
太恶心了! Gross!
如果你们能把东西装起来 那真是帮了我大忙了 Packing, so it would really help me out if you would...
早上好 Good morning.
嗨 早上好 Hey, hey, hey, good morning.
哇 Wow.
怎么了 邋遢鬼? What's with the scruffle, mountain man?
哦 这个 我想今天是周末 所以我想... Oh, well, you know, I figured it was a weekend, and I thought...
你想什么? What?
亲爱的 我没听清? 你留了多久胡子了? Honey, did I miss something? How long have you been growing that?
我去开门! I'll get the door!
恭喜! Congratulations!
你在说什么呢? What are you talking about?
那些土地 你买了隔壁的房子! The lots. You bought the lots next door!
大家好! Hello!
噢... Oh...
用你的房产抵押作为定金? 非常有勇气啊 And pulling the down payment out of your home equity? Very gutsy move.
我这么做了吗? I didn't do that, did I?
当然 你有什么计划吗? 你打算拿这些房子做什么呢? You sure did. So what's your plan? What are you gonna do?
用来倒手获利? 还是投机? Turn them for a quick profit? Build them out on spec?
开香槟一起来庆祝啊! Who wants champagne? Hip, hip hooray!
你有买了8块地皮? You bought eight lots?
是的 我想给你个惊喜 Yup. I was going to surprise you.
谷莫派勒说过"这是个惊喜" "Surprise, surprise, surprise." Gomer Pyle.
你在干什么啊? 我们支付不了那么多的 What are you doing? We can't afford that.
妈妈 约翰列侬 (著名歌手) 很高兴再次见到你 Hey, Mom. John Lennon, good to see you again.
很高兴见到你 Good to see you.
8块地皮? 你要怎么处置这8块地皮呢? And eight lots? What are you going to do with eight lots?
我不知道 或许我要造个船 I don't know. Maybe I'll build a boat.
你是说你要"造艘船"吗? Did you say "build a boat"?
对我们家而言这个很意义 It might be something fun for the family.
我们可以泛舟湖面 We could take the boat, go sailing on the lake.
万一洪水来了 还可以用来逃命 It'd be great in case it floods or something.
你到底是怎么了? What is going on with you?
你买了那么多地方 却说要造艘船 You bought all those lots and you're talking about building a boat.
- 是的 - 居然还留了胡子! - Yeah. - And you grow this crazy beard!
这是中年危机吗? Is this, like, a midlife crisis?
这没有你想象的那么糟! It's not that bad!
- 这样还不糟糕吗? - 不糟糕 - It's not? - No.
你知道人们为什么把这称作危机吗? Why do you think they call it a crisis?
孩子们 小声点! 可以吗? Hey, keep it down, you guys! Okay?
天哪 Oh, my God.
亲爱的? Honey?
天哪 Oh, my God.
亲爱的 Honey?
我知道这听起来有点不正常 I know this sounds crazy.
但我真的觉得要这么做 I really think I need to do this.
好吧 Okay.
造你的船吧 Build your boat.
只是别花太长时间 可以吗? Just don't take too long, okay?
只是我们已经不过水牛城的那种生活了 Because we didn't leave our lives in Buffalo
希望你还能度过这段低潮 so you could sail the S.S. Depression.
开始干吧 Here we go.
先生们 你们都在想今天 为什么要带你们来这儿吧 Gentlemen, I'm sure you're all wondering why I've assembled you here today.
阿根廷湖里鸭子的小鸡鸡 跟它的身子一样长呢 An Argentine lake duck has a penis as long as its body.
哇 那真的很大 他一定很自豪吧 Wow, that's huge. He must be proud.
这个周末我们有个小工程要完成 So, I have come up with a little construction project for us this weekend.
整个周末吗? The whole weekend?
是的 整个周末! The whole weekend. Yes!
可能接着的几个周末都要吧 And maybe a couple weekends after that.
我可以扛起这个木头! 帮忙啦 I can do this. Help!
我该怎么竖起这些木材啊? 我们开工了 How do I stand up with a piece of wood? Here we go.
哦 天哪 Oh, man. Okay, that's good.
妈妈 爸爸! 姐姐! 弟弟! 哇哦 Mother! Father! Sister! Brother! Wow!
保持往前 Keep it straight.
嘿 老爸 这狗又回来了! Hey, Dad, he's back!
赖安 不 不要... Ryan, no, don't do...
噢! Ow!
把它撬起来! 撬起来 Leverage it up! Leverage. Okay.
用棍子做杠杆吧 你得再使点劲 Just put some leverage. You got to put some body weight.
准备好了吗? 一 二 三 撬 Ready? One, two, three. Come on.
我真是个白痴 Oh, I'm an idiot.
"议员先生 很高兴见到你 你在干什么呢?" "Nice to meet you, Mr. Congressman. Why do you have raw beef hands?"
"我正在造方舟" "Well, I'm building an ark."
我砸到手了! 我砸到手了! 我砸到手了! I got a boo- boo! I got a boo- boo! I got a boo- boo!
你们听说过家得宝吗? You ever hear of Home Depot?
搞定! 太棒了! (Home Depot家得宝 美国最大自助式家居连锁店) Here we go! Here we go! Oh, yeah!
好了 看来我们的硬汉男人 这会有点不是那么坚强啊! All right. So our little Marlboro Man moment didn't work out so well.
这真是个灾难 我真不知道该怎么那个玩意 It's a disaster. I don't know how to build something like this.
这很简单 不干就是了 That's easy. Just don't.
哇! Wow.
喂 Hello.
是的 马蒂 你勇敢无畏的领导就在我旁边 Yes, Marty. Your fearless leader is right here.
喂 马蒂 什么事啊? Hey, Marty, what's up?
好的 我会告诉他的 谢谢 Yes, I'll tell him. Thank you.
麻烦叫保安上来 谢谢 I might need security. Thank you.
有什么能帮你的吗? Can I help you?
丽塔 是我 Rita, it's me.
为什么你声音和埃文·巴克斯特相似 Why do you sound like Evan Baxter,
却你长得像比基兄弟?(Bee Gees著名乐队) but look like a Bee Gee?
好吧 Okay. All right.
噢 太好了 居然更长了 Okay, that's great. It's longer.
天啊 是你 Oh, my God. It is you.
埃文 这是怎么回事 Evan, what happened?
你掉到矿井里了吗? Did you fall in a mine shaft?
不是 No.
你是不是刚从昏迷中醒来? Did you just come out of a coma?
没有 No.
被狼人攻击了? Were you attacked by a werewolf?
不 我没有 No, I wasn't.
那如果你是故意打扮成这样 你就是有病了 Well, if you were going for that rugged look, you overshot it.
看起来像个穿着西装的乞丐 You look like a bum in a suit.
你真该去把你的头发胡子理理了 You need Super cuts and a shave.
是 我知道 可我剪了也没用 Right! Yeah. But I can't. It doesn't work.
什么叫剪了也没用? What do you mean, it doesn't work?
就是没用 It doesn't work!
什么? 你究竟用了多少生发剂? What? Are you shooting up Rogaine?
丽塔如果埃文来了 抱歉 先生 请稍等我一会... Rita, if Evan shows up... I'm sorry, sir. I'll be with you in just one...
埃文? 别怕 别怕 Evan? Take it in. Take it in.
好了 回答你们的疑问 Okay, yeah, to answer any questions you may have,
我正在经历青春冲动期! I am going through adult puberty!
这都是暂时的 为什么不能放过我? This is all temporary. Why did you bring me down here?
什么事这么重要? What was so important?
什么事这么重要? What is so important?
我有一份朗议员议案的意向书 I've got a letter of intent here about Congressman Long's bill.
还还记得 是吧? You remember that, don't you?
一直不见你的人影 而他又要你亲自签这份东西 埃文 Well, you haven't been here and now he wants you to sign this in person, Evan!
不行 我不能那么做 不能 不能 No, I can't do that. Nope, nope, nope. Not gonna happen.
是的 你不能这么做 你不能这幅模样出现 你必须去刮胡子 No. You can't do that. Not looking like that. You have to go shave!
我刮不掉 马蒂 每次刮完又会长回来 I can't shave, Marty. When I shave, it grows back out.
刮完当然会长回来! 所以你要再刮啊! That happens when you shave! But then you shave again!
你根本不懂 You have no idea.
埃文 究竟是怎么回事 ? Evan, what is going on?
我.... I'm...
在建样东西 Building something.
你在建东西? You're building something?
那样的话 希望是个理发店 Well, I hope it's a barber shop.
各位 我不能让朗议员看到我这样 Guys, I can't let Long see me this way, okay?
你们得告诉他我病了 帮我掩饰着 让我躲出去 You're gonna have to tell him I'm sick. Just cover for me. Just help me out!
埃文拜托了 理智点 把那胡子剃了 Come on, Evan, be reasonable. You got to get rid of that beard.
你必须变回原来的样子 必须像以前一样 I need your face back. I need you back.
至少你得告诉我 你究竟在建什么吧? Can you at least tell me what you're building?
- 我在建一艘船 - 你在建一艘船? - I'm building a boat. - You're building a boat?
好了你来掩护我 我不想任何人看到我 Look, you got to cover for me. I don't want anybody to see...
议员先生! 原来你在这里! Congressman! There you are!
朗议员 我 我 我 我...... Congressman Long, I, I, I, I...
别我 我 我的了 孩子 谁没有过一两次偷溜的记录呢? Stop stammering, son. We all play hooky from time to time.
我不会向校长告发你的 主要因为我就是校长 I'm not gonna turn you in to the principal. Mostly because I am the principal.
非常好笑 Very good.
干吗遮着脸? 带了新牙套吗? What's with the veil? Did you get your new set of braces?
不 不 不 虽然那很搞笑 No, no. No. That's hilarious, though.
把那东西放下来好吗? 我听不清你说什么了 Would you drop that thing, son? I can't understand a word you're saying.
是为了我妻子才这么做的 It's a wife thing, sir.
为了让感情生活火热一点 Just trying to spice up the love life.
她是罗根斯&美西娜二重唱的超级歌迷 She's a big Loggins and Messina fan.
为了多点新鲜感 我尽量模仿得像一点 Keeping it fresh. Keeping it real.
请容许我们单独说几句 Would you excuse us for a moment?
我和议员有点小事情要谈谈 The Congressman and I are going to have a little chat.
过来 Come on.
不错吧? 政治就是狗咬狗 Nice, isn't it? Politics is dog- eat- dog,
可如果你生存下来了 就会有更大的窝 请坐 but if you survive, they give you a bigger den. Have a seat.
老实说吧 议员 你是想故意吓我还是什么 So, tell me, Congressman, are you freaking out on me or what?
不是的 先生 No, sir.
好了 小子 是我给了你 第一次合作议案的机会 Oh, come on, son. I hand you your first cosponsor ship of a bill,
现在你把自己打扮得像个嬉皮士 and when you finally show up you look like the fifth Beatle.
居然还想让我相信一切都没问题? Now, you expect me to believe everything is hunky dory?
说实话 先生 现在一切都很好 Well, sir, actually, things have been a little more dory.
没错 我了解 你对动物有什么研究吗? Of course they are. I get it. You know anything about animals, son?
阿根廷湖鸭子的小鸡鸡和身体一样长 The Argentine lake duck has a penis as long as its body.
也许你已经知道或者听说过 不过应该没亲见过 Although you probably already know that. Or have heard it. Not experienced it.
你听说过北极白狼吗? You ever heard of the Arctic white wolf?
没有 先生 No, sir.
稳据食物链顶端 Top of the food chain.
矫捷 聪明 完全可以独立生存 It's fast, it's smart, can fend for itself, but it chooses not to.
却选择群居 It chooses to run with a pack.
知道为什么吗? And do you know why?
不知道 No.
因为北极白狼意识到 The Arctic white wolf, Congressman, realizes
团结才会更强大 that it is stronger as part of a group.
知道那些离开群落的白狼会怎么样吗 Do you know what happens when one of these wolves decides to fend for itself?
为了整个集体的利益 狼群会杀了落单的独狼 The pack kills the loner for the greater good of the community.
天啊 真残忍 Ouch, that hurts.
你知道田纳西州下议院的 吉姆 金肯议员吗? Are you familiar with Jim Jenkins, the junior congressman from Tennessee?
我刚认识金肯议员时 他还是个愣头青 什么都不是 When I met Congressman Jenkins, he was fresh off the turnip truck,
现在却在委员会有了一席之地 but now he's sitting on his own committee.
金肯议员 怀特霍尔议员 埃曼议员 Congressman Jenkins, Congressman Whitehall, Congressman Freeman,
都进入了委员会 因为他选择了群居 they all have committee chairs because they all run with the pack.
现在 你需要做出选择了 Now, you have to come to a decision.
是要和狼群一起 还是自力更生 Are you gonna run with the pack or are you gonna lone wolf it?
我喜欢团队 先生 I am a pack man, sir.
好极了 两周内我会提出新计划法案 Good. I'm introducing the CINPLAN bill in 2 weeks.
C- SPAN频道会全程直播 C- SPAN is covering it live.
我要你全力支持 仅此而矣 I want your full support and nothing else.
好的 先生 Yes, sir.
这些鱼都跟着你 Those fish are on you like bait on a hook.
鸟跟着你走 Birds follow you.
鱼也紧跟着你 Fish follow you.
让我们看看那些议员是否也会跟着你 Let's see if we can get some congressmen to follow you.
议员 我们一起努力通过议案吧 Let's get this bill passed, shall we, Congressman?
好的 先生 Yes, sir.
嘿 虱子窝 走开了 Hey, fleabag, out of the way.
嘿 爸爸 我觉得今天好像来了更多动物了 Hey, Dad, I think there are more animals than yesterday.
那么我们就不要让 这些观众等太久了 行吗? Well, let's not keep our audience waiting, shall we?
上去 上去 用力 推 推 好了 好了 喔 太好了 Up, up. Push it up. Push it. We got it. We got it. Oh, yeah, yeah.
就这样 放手 放手 Come on. Just let it go, just let it go.
爸爸 我们能成功的 不过可能需要一点帮助 Dad, we can do this, but we're gonna need some help.
我知道 我们需要点东西 能把梁架起来 I know. We just need something to lift those beams.
那个可以吗? Like that?
上帝啊 Holy moly!
酷毙了 This is so totally awesome!
简直完美 This is perfect.
爸 这儿有张字条 Dad, there's a note.
有需要请张口 上帝
给我看看 Let me see that.
这东西怎么用? How does it work?
爸爸 这感觉真的很怪 Dad, this is really weird.
跟我喊 "我们是大力神" Repeat after me, "We are hamsters!"
我们是大力神 We are hamsters!
用力跑 Leg power!
成功了 And it's in!
我们做到了 That's it.
嘿 谁那里有凿子? 有吗? Hey, who has opposable thumbs? Anybody?
试试这个吧? 注意要保持垂直 You want to try this one? Make sure it's straight.
- 帅呆了 - 真酷 - This is awesome! - This is so cool.
- 就这样 - 天啊 - Here we go. - Oh, my God!
不得不跳那个舞了 快 来跳舞 Yeah. Gotta do the dance. Come on, let's do the dance.
- 我们来跳舞 - 赖安 快来跳舞 - We're doing the dance. - Dylan, come on. Do the dance.
- 来吧 来跳舞 - 我才不跳那个舞呢 - Come on, do the dance. - I'm not doing the dance.
噢 Ow!
别抓 Don't scratch!
停下 来这儿 Stop it. Come here.
简直是丢脸 还痛死了 Insult to injury! My!
乖 Good boy.
伙计们 再加把劲 Okay, guys. A little bit more.
就这样 保持住 好了 Here we go. I got it. Keep it... That's it!
太棒了 Beautiful!
你们还行吗? You guys all right?
很好 Yup.
"感觉这衣服和你的头发和胡子会很配"
"上帝" "G."
恩 恩 恩 Mmm, mmm, mmm.
希望这不是我们"最后的晚餐" Well, I hope this isn't our last supper.
热浪似乎没有要停下来的意思 There's no sign of our heat wave breaking,
看来炎热干燥的天气将会继续 so this dry, hot weather will continue.
直到九月二十二日 正午 Until September 22, midday.
所以你得在这之前建好方舟 否侧.. If the ark isn't finished by then, you will be.
这就是发生的日期? 九月二十二日正午? Is that when it's going to happen? September 22, midday?
明天大部分地区将会 进入九十华氏的高温 High temperatures tomorrow back into the 90s everywhere,
直到周二 right on through Tuesday
而在接下来的七天里 将不会有云雨天气 and the next seven days, no showers, no storms.
那天正合适吃鸡肉 来点妈妈做的鸡肉怎么样? That would be a good day to have chicken. How about Mom's chicken? Huh?
我们在九月二十二日正午 吃点鸡肉如何? Hon, could we have some more chicken September 22, midday?
儿子们 请原谅 爸爸妈妈有点事要说 Boys, will you excuse us, please? Your father and I need to have a little talk.
死定了 Busted.
爸爸 你惨了 Dad, you're busted.
我知道 Yeah, I know.
你究竟在干吗? What are you doing?
我们什么没发酵过的食物吗? Do we have anything unleavened?
是的 有 在后面 就在香料旁边 Yeah, we do, it's in the back, next to the frankincense and myrrh.
在我们的年代它有一个 有趣的名字 叫皮塔饼 We have a fancy name for it in this century, it's called pita.
知道了 Got it.
埃文 你到底怎么了? Evan, what is happening to you?
别吃 放下它 看看你自己的样子 Don't! No! Just put it down! Look at you.
你的头发 你在吃什么药吗? 还是荷尔蒙失调? The hair. Are you on something? Is it a mega- growth hormone? What?
埃文 告诉我啊 Evan, talk to me.
我在造方舟 I'm building an ark.
这是什么意思? What does that mean?
上帝找到我 要我建一个方舟 God appeared to me and told me to build an ark.
他说会有一场大洪水 要我做好准备 He said there was going to be a flood and that I should be prepared.
不论我刮多少次胡子 它都会长回来 Whenever I shave, my beard grows right back out.
我的头发一天比一天长 这件长袍...上帝寄给我一件长袍 My hair grows longer every day. This robe... God sent me the robe.
他觉得这样很好玩 He thought it would be funny.
我真的觉得穿起来很舒服 所以才穿的 I actually think it's really comfortable. That's why I'm wearing it.
胡子 还有长袍 The beard, the robe.
你是诺亚? You're Noah?
对 差不多 Yeah, kind of.
妈妈 Mom!
待会儿 诺亚 Not now, Noah!
赖安 Dylan.
好吧 Okay.
我们抛下一切来到这儿重新开始 We left everything behind to come here.
也许你要承受很大的压力 我不知道怎么帮你 Maybe that's put too much pressure on you. I don't know.
可你不能再继续这样下去了 求你了 你真的吓到我了 But this has got to stop. Please. You're scaring me.
儿子们需要他们父亲回来 而我需要我的丈夫回来 The boys need their father back, and I need my husband back.
好了 成功 有力 帅气 快乐 Yes. Successful. Powerful. Handsome. Happy.
成功 有力 帅气 快乐 Successful. Powerful. Handsome. Happy.
早 Good morning!
今天有点冷 是吗? Cold today, huh?
恩? Hmm?
"回去工作 上帝" "Back to work"?
好的 没问题 想要我穿着长袍 我就穿好了 Okay. All right. You want me to wear the robe? I'll wear the robe.
看谁斗得过谁 Two can play this game.
哈 哈 哈 Ha, ha, ha!
上主菜了 Piece de resistance.
道高一尺魔高一丈 The student has become the teacher.
会议将会按程序进行 This meeting will come to order.
丽塔看到他了吗? Rita, any sign of him?
马蒂我说了多少次了 我一看到他就... Marty, I told you, I will let you know as soon as...
知道吗? 被你说对了 我看到他了 我们正在上瑜伽课 You know what? You got me. He's here. We're in the middle of a yoga class.
丽塔现在没空开玩笑 我是认真的 Rita, this is no time for jokes. I'm not kidding.
如果他不来开会 我们都会被炒鱿鱼的 If he's not in that meeting, we're all out of a job.
等等 我先做完拜日式 Wait a minute. Let me finish my sun salutation.
马蒂抱歉我迟到了 来吧 我们进去 Marty! Sorry I'm late. Come on, let's go.
这是怎么回事 What is that?
事出有因 拣起电话 走了 Making lemonade out of lemons. Pick up your phone! Come on!
这条法案的实质内容是从技术上 At its heart, this bill gives private citizens access
把公民已经拥有的土地 明确划分给他们 to lands they technically already own.
主席反对吗? Will the Chairman yield?
看 他在那 Oh, look, there he is.
没错 我看到了 Yup, yup, I see him.
所谓划分不过是你用来 掩盖你的真实目地的伪装 Access is just a word you're using to hide what's really going on here.
一切都是为了发展 简单的说 This is about development, short and simple.
埃文你在想些什么 居然在脸上扎马尾辫 Evan, what are you doing? You have a pony tail on your face!
接下来要做什么? 给眉毛编辫子? What you gonna do next? Cornrow your eyebrows?
发展意味着更多的就业机会 Development means the advancement of jobs,
推动国内商业的发展 如果你们谁对这些感兴趣 an increase in domestic commerce. If you happen to like those things,
希望你们能站着我 和我的支持者 道德议员 I invite you to join myself and my cosponsors, Congressman Dodd,
惠格议员 Congressman Hughes
以及巴克斯特议员一边 and Congressman Baxter.
你刚在做换装表演吗? Did you just do a wardrobe change?
你以为这是什么场合? 奥斯卡颁奖吗? What do you think this is, the Oscars?
你可不是Whoopi(著名喜剧演员) You are not Whoopi.
女士们先生们 安静 Ladies and gentlemen! Please!
安静 巴克斯特议员一向 都是表示支持通过法案的 Please! Congressman Baxter has a tendency to embrace the theatrical
只是用了一种戏剧化方式 议员先生 我警告你 in his support of this bill. Congressman, let me warn you,
十秒之内你给我离开这个会议厅 you are approximately 10 seconds away from committee censure.
哦 不好 有人介意 我把窗户关上吗? Oh, no. Hey, would anyone mind if I close the window?
女士们先生们 别紧张 这些动物是经过训练了的 Ladies and gentlemen! Please! These animals are trained!
这套把戏我已经见识过了 I've seen this circus act before!
议员 我相信 圣.弗朗西斯 动物园会很欢迎您 Congressman, I'm sure St. Francis would be envious.
而我们正相反 你还有五秒钟 We, however, are not. You have five seconds.
要么你带着你的动物 马戏团自行离开 You march yourself and your little animal troupe out of here now
要么就让警察带走 or you will be forcibly removed.
恐怕我做不到 先生 I'm afraid I can't do that, sir.
议员 Congressman!
这些动物没有受过训练 These animals are not trained.
议员 Congressman!
它们希望我能拯救它们 I think they want me to save them!
有什么在威胁它们 议员? Save them from what, Congressman?
拯救动物? 好吧 这主意不错 值得投一票 Saving the animals, okay. I can roll with that. That's a good idea.
大洪水 The flood.
大洪水? 选票没了 A flood? Rolling out.
大洪水 The flood.
今年夏天是有史以来 最炎热干燥的一年 This has been the hottest, driest summer on record
而你却说会有一场大洪水? and you say we're going to have a flood?
那会是什么时候呢? When might we expect this?
九月二十二日正午 September 22, midday.
他就是这么告诉我的 That's what I was told.
是谁告诉你的? Might I ask who told you?
在这些人面前 别说 千万别说 Not in front of all those people. Don't say it. Don't say it.
上帝 God.
上帝? 你和上帝对话了? God? You talk to God?
是的 Yes.
上帝也回应你了? And God is talking back?
是的 一起待了一会儿 Yeah. We hung out a little.
好了 我得开始准备简历了 Well, time to update the resume.
议员 你将不再参与这项法案的制定 Congressman, your name is being removed from this bill.
显然 这项工作的压力对你来说太大了 Obviously, the stresses of this office have proven too much for you.
把议员请出去吧 Please have the congressman removed.
不要 拜托 你不明白 No. Please! You don't understand!
上帝命令我建一座方舟 God commanded me to build an ark!
天会下大雨的 马上就会有大洪水了 It's going to rain! There's going to be a flood!
带他出去 Remove him now!
我们得做好准备 We have to prepare ourselves!
我要继续建我的方舟 I need to finish the ark!
马上带走 Remove him now!
我们是不是要搬回去老家了? Does this mean we're moving back home?
回家 去加拿大 随便什么 Home, Canada. One or the other.
琼? 我知道你大概 已经看到了 我可以解释 Joan? I know you probably saw what happened, but I can explain.
把东西放到车上去 我马上就来 Take the stuff to the car, guys. I'll be there in a minute.
孩子们? Guys?
我想带他们回娘家 埃文 我觉得你需要帮助 I'm gonna take them to my mother's. Evan, I think you need help.
琼 求求你 不是我想这么做 是他 是他逼我的 Joan, please. I'm not doing this. It's not me. It's him.
我想穿戴整齐去开会 可他却给我脱了 I went to that meeting in a suit, and he took it off of me.
那些动物跟着我 也是因为他 Those animals are following me because of him.
上帝? 上帝知道 他把我们的生活毁了吗? God? Does God know he's destroying our lives?
上帝知道你在自毁前程吗? Does God know he's going to get you fired?
对了 他就是想我自毁前程 Yeah! He's trying to get me fired!
他故意让我被炒鱿鱼 He is trying to get me fired!
然后我就可以专心建方舟了 That way I'll have more time to work on the ark!
因为大雨和洪水就要来了 Because the rain and the floods are coming.
够了埃文 我知道了 全世界都听到了 No, I heard you, Evan. The whole world heard you.
琼求求你 你必须得相信我 Joan, please, you gotta believe me.
快看 开始了 开始了 下雨了 There it is! It's happening! It's happening! It's raining!
再见 埃文 Goodbye, Evan.
琼 Joan!
我知道 我知道 不论你做什么 都是因为你爱我 I know! I know. Whatever you do, you do because you love me!
帮个忙 能少爱我一点吗? Do me a favor. Love me less.
议员 Congressman!
您对巴克斯特议员的演讲有什么看法? Are you concerned at all about Congressman Baxter's tirade
这会对您的议案造成负面影响吗? and the adverse effects it may have on your bill?
等到大雨和洪水真的来临 The day it rains and floods
而巴克斯特议员驾着他的方舟那天 and Congressman Baxter takes a ride on his ark,
我再去耽心吧 谢谢 that'll be the day I'll be concerned. Thank you.
他叫埃文·巴克斯特 可现在人们叫他"纽约的诺亚" His name is Evan Baxter, but now he goes by "New York's Noah,"
"天堂里的埃文" "胡须怪" "Heaven's Evan," "The Weirdo with a Beardo."
伙计们 小心 小心 让我过去 小心背 Okay, guys. Watch it. Watch it. Coming through. Watch your back.
马蒂 你能评价一下 巴克斯特议员的新形象吗? Marty, will you comment on Congressman Baxter's change of appearance?
是的 他头发很长 是的 他的胡子没剃 Yes, his hair is long. Yes, his beard is unshaven.
可你们也会对这个男人的外表感到吃惊吗 Are you equally stunned by this man's appearance?
照现在的情况看 The way things go around here,
如果他更疯狂一点 说不定会入主白宫 if he gets any crazier, we may end up in the White House.
嘿 不行 不行 那是我的杯子 Hey! No, no, no! That's my cup!
算了 Whatever.
他会将每种动物的一对放到船上 He's filling the boat with two of every kind of animal.
还差两只长颈鹿和两只大象 Still to be collected, two giraffes, two elephants
和另外一个蠢人 and one more jackass.
真是个白痴 What an idiot.
他是个傻子 He's a mook.
傻瓜 Jerks.
别看这些了 儿子们 快点吃东西吧 Don't worry about it, you guys. Come on, eat up.
不饿 Not hungry.
我也是 Yeah, me neither.
你们吃不下 我却吃不停 You guys can't eat. I can't stop.
- 我想去洗手间 - 我也是 - Can I go to the bathroom? - Me, too?
好的 赖安 你带他们 拜托? Okay. Dylan, go with them. Please?
好吧 Fine.
麻烦你给我再来一份 Excuse me. Can I get a refill, please?
马上 Coming right up.
谢谢 Thank you.
打扰一下 你还好吗? Excuse me. Are you all right?
好啊 Yeah.
不好 一言难尽 No. It's a long story.
我喜欢听故事 Well, I like stories.
我也自认为算是个说故事高手 I'm considered a bit of a storyteller myself.
我丈夫... 你听说过 "纽约的诺亚"吗? My husband... Have you heard of "New York's Noah"?
那个在建方舟的人? The guy who's building the ark.
就是我丈夫 That's him.
我喜欢这个故事 诺亚的方舟 I love that story, Noah and the Ark.
知道吗 大多数人没能理解 这个故事的真谛 You know, a lot of people miss the point of that story.
他们只认为这是上帝在表示愤怒 They think it's about God's wrath and anger.
他们喜欢理解为上帝在发怒 They love it when God gets angry.
那故事的真谛是什么? 那个方舟? What is the story about, then? The ark?
我想 这其实是一个关于相互信任的爱情故事 Well, I think it's a love story about believing in each other.
你看 动物们都是一对对的出现 You know, the animals showed up in pairs.
肩并肩相互依靠 They stood by each other, side by side,
就像诺亚一家 肩并肩 一对对一双双 just like Noah and his family. Everybody entered the ark side by side.
但我丈夫声称是上帝要他这么做的 But my husband says God told him to do it.
你能接受这种说法吗? What do you do with that?
听起来像是一个机会 Sounds like an opportunity.
问个问题 Let me ask you something.
当一个人祈祷得到耐心的时候 上帝会给他有耐心吗? If someone prays for patience, you think God gives them patience?
还是他让他们有机会去学会耐心 Or does he give them the opportunity to be patient?
当人们祈求勇气的时候 上帝就给他们勇气吗? If they pray for courage, does God give them courage,
还是给人们机会去获得勇气? or does he give them opportunities to be courageous?
如果一个人祈求让家人更亲密 If someone prayed for their family to be closer,
你认为上帝是仅仅给他们 温暖却模糊的感觉 you think God zaps them with warm, fuzzy feelings?
还是让他们有机会去爱对方 Or does he give them opportunities to love each other?
好的 我得走了 很多事要做 多吃点 Well, I got to run. A lot of people to serve. Enjoy.
大概那些还记得他的拉票口号的人不会太吃惊 Guess this comes as no surprise to those who remember his campaign promise,
"我会降低税率 "I will lower taxes,
变疯然后去建一艘巨型方舟" go crazy and build a gigantic ark."
哇 天啊 Oh, my gosh.
埃文 Evan!
爸爸? Dad?
亲爱的 Honey!
爸爸? Dad?
大家 我在这上面 You guys, I'm up here.
- 这礼拜过得不容易吧 - 你看起来真的很好笑 - Rough week? - You look really funny.
看起来好老 You look really old.
没错 他是真的老了 Yeah, well, he is really old.
你们为什么回来了? Why'd you come back?
孩子们要回来的 It was the kids.
儿子们 说啊 Tell him, guys.
我们更喜欢这个疯子爸爸 We like you better as the crazy guy.
你会有更多时间在家并且陪我们玩 You spend time with us and you're home a lot more.
只是 拜托你别再逼我们跳那个舞了 Just, please don't make us do the dance anymore.
我不知道究竟是怎么回事 或是你究竟在做什么 I don't know what's going on, or what you're going through,
但我们是一家人应该共同面对 but we got into this as a family
共同去渡过这个难关 and we're gonna get out of it as a family,
肩并肩 side by side.
但是埃文 关于这只方舟 我们必须要把它拆了 But, Evan, we have to talk about the ark. It has to come down.
我做不到 I can't do that.
你没得选择 You don't have a choice.
朗议员找到了一大堆你违反的安全条例 并上诉给政府 Congressman Long went to the city. There's a laundry list of code violations.
你必须在九月二十二号以前把它拆了 You have until September 22 to take it down,
不然他们就会动手并且把你逮捕 or they'll take it down and arrest you.
九月二十二日 就是大洪水来的日子 September 22. That's the day of the flood.
爸爸妈妈 到这来 Mom! Dad! Come here!
你还敢把方舟拆了吗 Don't you dare take that ark down.
我们该怎么办呢? How are we gonna do this?
我们五个人这么短时间肯定做不到的 There's no way the five of us can finish on time.
又没有钱请别人来帮忙 We don't have money to hire anybody else.
那是只拿着锤子的骆驼吗? Is that a llama with a hammer?
羊驼 他们很少攻击人类 除非收到惊吓或者虐待 An alpaca. They rarely spit at people unless frightened or abused.
我们开始吧 Let's finish this sucker.
加油 开始吧 Come on, let's go.
没人知道它们从哪来 No one knows where they came from
或者议员怎么让它们做到这些 or how the congressman is getting them to do it,
但是 这些的成双成对的动物 but, two by two, animals of all kinds
都象奇迹般的在帮助建造方舟 are working with Godspeed to build this ark.
谢谢 Thank you.
如果大洪水真的发生 "埃文救救我们" If this flood really does happen, "Evan help us."
嘿 帮个忙? Hey! A little help?
谢谢 Thanks.
洪 给你 Here it is, hon.
好极了 谢谢 Perfect. Thanks.
放到这儿 Hold it right there.
这里是爱德 卡森 在纽约的诺亚建筑工地为你直播报道 This is Ed Carson coming to you live from New York Noah's construction site,
由于外面危险的环境 我们不得不留在直播车内为您报道 where we are unable to leave the news van due to hazardous conditions outside.
方舟建造工地 闲人勿扰
击掌 High five. High five.
干得好 Good job.
嘿 小可爱 Hey, putty tat.
快跑 快跑 它想吃了我 Go, go, go! He tried to eat me!
赖安 乔丹 快看 你们妈妈在建方舟 Dylan! Jordan! Check it out! Your mom's building an ark!
快来跳那个舞 Let's do the dance.
不要 求你了 No, please, no.
那些动物究竟怎么来的? Well, where did the animals come from, then?
拜托 这是个骗局 Please. It's a trick.
不过是个马戏团而已 It's a circus is what it is.
野生动物在维吉尼亚的 野外杀气腾腾的乱窜 Wild animals running amok in suburban Virginia.
如此庞大的数目让我们不禁担忧 粪便该如何处理? With all these species, what's being done about the feces?
埃文·巴克斯特你从播音员变成议员 Evan Baxter! You have gone from
又从议员到现在的野人 newsman to congressman to caveman.
你为什么这么肯定上帝选的就是你 What makes you so sure God chose you?
他选了我们所有人 He chose all of us.
伙计们 洗澡时间到了 Time to wash up, you guys.
谢谢 Thanks.
你也来点? You want some?
为什么他不干脆买只舰艇算了 Why couldn't the man just buy a Corvette?
太好了 你们来了 很高兴看到你们 Well, well, well. There they are. It is good to see you guys.
见到你真好 你头发看上去真酷 It's good to see you! Your hair looks great.
很有帝王像 我爱死你的头发了 It's very regal. Man, I love your hair!
你现在还在拍马屁 And you're still sucking up.
那么 你们来有什么事吗? So, why are you here?
朗议员把我们开除了 Long locked us out.
他不能这么做 He can't do that.
虽然我被停职了 可我还是议员 I mean, I've been suspended, but I'm still a congressman.
丽塔 告诉他 Rita, tell him what you know.
告诉我什么? Tell me what?
当初一搬到新办公室我就觉得不对头 I smelled a rat the second we got that office.
这么好的地方不可能让你平白无故的得到 You don't get an office like that for nothing.
所以我就叫这个家伙做了些调查 So I had the stalker here do some research.
好了 尤金说吧 Okay, Eugene, talk.
普莱斯迪格以前是国家财产 Prestige Crest used to be federal lands,
但它怎么变成私人地产的才是重点 but what's interesting is how it got into private hands.
朗议员得到建一个大坝的许可 Congressman Long got the approval to build a dam
然后将周边土地转手给私人投资者 and then passed out the surrounding lands to a group of private investors.
当地居民为这事抗议了很多年了 Now, the locals fought this thing for years.
他们声称朗和投资者走了捷径 They said Long and his developer buddies were cutting corners,
偷工减料 违反建筑要求 like skipping important building code checkpoints.
而且通过这条土地使用法案 And with the land use bill,
他将会用同样的方法来建国家公园 he's gonna do the same thing with the national parks.
所以当你出来支持并且为他说话的时候 So, you stand by and shake your pom- poms
实际是在帮助他中饱私囊 while Long and his buddies get rich.
我们还能做什么呢? 我被停职了 What can we do? I'm suspended.
回到议会山并且告诉他们 你坚决不同意这条法案 Go back to the Hill and show them that you can and will fight this bill.
伙计们 对不起 我不能回去 我要建方舟 You guys, I'm sorry. I can't do that. I have to get back to the ark.
方舟? 好吧 The ark? All right. Okay.
- 上帝叫你建这条方舟? - 是的 - God told you to build an ark? - Yes.
可他有没有告诉你 要让一直跟随并且相信你的 But did he tell you to make your friends believe in you and follow you here
朋友看起来像傻瓜? 要知道我每周都去教堂 so you can make us look stupid? 'Cause I go to church every Sunday.
好吧 是隔一周 Okay, every other Sunday.
我去过教堂 可这种做法可不像上帝的风格 I've been to church! And that does not sound like God to me.
丽塔 我知道这听起来很难接受 Rita, I know that this doesn't make any sense.
我只希望你能相信我 人必须要有些信仰 I just want you to trust me. You just have to have faith.
埃文 信仰不能反对法案通过 新计划投票就在今天 Evan, faith will not fight this bill. The CINPLAN vote is today!
如果我们想阻止这事发生 你必须现在就去国会山 If we're going to stop this thing, you need to get down to Capitol Hill now!
不然就来不及了 Otherwise, it's impossible!
爸爸 爸爸 我想我们完工了 Dad, Dad, I think it's done.
"这个应该在动物上船时能帮上忙 上帝"
真不公平 我甚至没办法叫我家猫小便在盒子里 What in the world? I can't even get my cat to use the litter box.
今天是九月二十二 我们还是安然无恙 It's September 22, and we're all still here.
傻了吧 Awkward!
各位 洪水马上要来了 People! The flood is imminent!
登上方舟 拯救你们自己 Board the ark! Save yourselves!
得了吧 傻瓜 Get down, you fool!
听我说 审判日就要到了 Listen to me! The time has come!
不 亚哈船长 是你的审判日到了 No, Captain Ahab! Your time has come!
是的 巴克斯特 温度是70度(华氏) Yeah, Baxter! The weather's 70 and
太阳高照 正是发疯的好时候 sunny with a chance of crazy!
听到了吗 雨马上来了 Do you hear that? The rains are upon us!
爸爸 我想这不是雨 Dad, I don't think that's the rains.
嘿 巴克斯特 跟你的方舟吻别吧 Hey, Baxter! Kiss your ark goodbye!
他在哪? Where is he?
船上 先生 On the boat, sir.
给我一分钟 试试看能不能说服这个"诺亚" Give me a minute. Lets see if I can convince "Noah"
今天不是世界末日 that the world doesn't have to end today.
我不得不插手了 这场秀真是精彩 I gotta hand it to you, this is quite the show.
据我所知 真正的秀根本还没开场 According to my source, the show hasn't even started yet.
还在等着大洪水? Still expecting the big flood.
知道吗 选民对这些灾难和世界末日之类的不感兴趣 You know, voters don't respond to the gloom and doom stuff.
他们喜欢积极一点的东西 They like a more positive message.
就像你现在宣传的法案一样 Like the one you're sending with your bill?
你靠着出卖这些土地赚了多少钱 How much did you make off of all this land?
为了利益你不惜牺牲我们的国家公园 You are destroying our national parks for profit.
你看不惯有人从中获利? You have a problem with somebody taking a little profit?
这就是生意 年轻人 It's called business, son.
如果我想得到点什么 或者选出一个议员 So if I need to get a message out there, or get a congressman elected
都是他们 也就是由 希望这条法案通过的人来埋单 there are people who pay for it, and yes, those people want this bill to happen
而且 谢谢上帝 这条法案一定会通过 看看下面 and, by God, it's gonna happen. Now you look down there.
他们都是群狼 年轻人 Those are the wolves, son.
我会给你最后一个机会 拆了这船 I'm gonna give you one last chance. Take down this boat.
我给你最后一个机会 忏悔 I'm giving you one last chance. Repent.
真可惜 本来你有大好前程的 Such a shame. You had possibilities.
可你选择止步不前 并且跑去拯救地球 那就去吧 But you want to stop progress to save the Earth. Go for it.
希望那些树会感激你 而能去为你投票 Good luck getting a tree to come to the polls.
拆了它 Take it down.
法庭命令要求把这艘船拆了 This is a court order approving the demolition of this boat!
立即执行 你们还有三分钟时间 Evacuate immediately! You have three minutes!
亲爱的 我们得走 他们真要拆船了 Honey. We have to go. They're going to destroy the boat.
不 No.
不能就这么结束 It can't end this way.
是不是有点太心急了? Is it too much to ask for a little precipitation?
亲爱的 也许上帝 不是指实际意义上的洪水 Honey, maybe God didn't mean a literal flood.
也许是指知识的洪水 或者感情和理智的洪水 Maybe he meant a flood of knowledge or emotion or awareness.
如果真是这样 If that's true,
我真的会非常生气 I am going to be so pissed.
两分钟 Two minutes!
马上下船 不然我们就要用武力了 Get off the boat now or you will be removed by force.
埃文 你做到了 你把方舟建好了 Evan, you did it. You built the ark.
上帝只是要你建好方舟不是吗? That's all you were asked to do, right?
不是的 No.
还有别的 有事要发生 我能感觉到 There's something else. Something's going to happen. I can feel it.
是有事要发生了 不过只是催泪弹和铁球 Yeah, what's gonna happen is tear gas and a wrecking ball.
埃文 为了孩子们想想 Evan, think of the kids.
一分钟 One minute!
不论你怎么决定 我都支持你 Dad, whatever you say, I'm with you.
我也是 Yeah, me, too.
我也是 不过我们能留下几只动物吗? Me, too. But can we keep some of the animals?
我喜欢羊驼 它会喷口水 I like the alpaca. He spits.
你是对的 我们做到了 建了这艘船 You're right. We did it. We built the boat.
是的 Yeah.
我们走吧 走吧 儿子们 Let's go. Let's go, guys. Come on.
我想它们好像不乐意走 Well, I guess they don't want to go.
这是它们的本能 It's their instinct.
洪 你在说什么? What do you mean, hon?
有些动物能预先察觉到天气的变化 Some animals know when weather's coming.
情况不妙的话它们会坐着不动 When they feel it coming, they sit.
琼 Joan!
好了 时间到了 我们要进来了 Okay. Time's up! We're coming in!
把铁球准备好 我们去把他们弄出来 Get that ball in position! We're clearing them out!
是雨吗? 下雨了 Is that rain? It's raining.
不过是运气而已 巴克斯特 运气 Lucky guess, Baxter. Lucky guess.
看起来干旱终于结束了 真是好消息 不是吗? 议员 Looks like the drought's finally over. Good news, eh, Congressman?
对 好消息 Yeah. Good news.
各位 拜托了 快上舟吧 Everybody! Please! Get on the ark!
去车上 Go to the car!
拜托了 各位 上舟吧 Please! Everyone! On the ark!
遮住我 遮住我 别让我打湿了 Cover me up! Keep me dry! Cover me up! Keep me dry!
多疯狂啊 看起来我们都要完了 Who's crazy now, huh? Look at us all squishing!
雨好像停下来了 It kind of stopped raining.
不会吧? Is that it?
我早说了吧 没事的 雨停了 What did I tell you? It's fine. It's over.
嘿 亚伯 这就完了吗? Hey, Ahab! This is it?
你的上帝最近是不是缺水啊? Your God experiencing a little water shortage?
看起来埃文·巴克斯特猜对了会有雨 It would appear Evan Baxter was right about the rain,
可对于降雨量有点计算错误 with a slight miscalculation as to the quantity.
有些不对劲 Something's wrong.
亲爱的 乌云都飘走了 Honey, the clouds are moving away.
不 不 不 这样不对 No, no. No, this isn't right.
埃文 就算雨不停 可在一天内也不至于形成大洪水 Evan, even if it kept raining, it's not like it could cause a flood in a day.
可就是在今天啊 一定会有什么发生 不然说不通 But today is the day! It has to be. This just doesn't make any sense!
等等 Wait a second.
怎么啦 What is it?
马蒂说 朗议员偷工减料 违反建筑条款 Marty said that Long cut corners, violated building codes.
你在说些什么? What are you talking about?
是湖 朗湖 The lake, Long Lake.
以他的名字命名的 是湖有问题 是湖要泛滥 It's named after him. It's the lake! It's the lake!
不 Oh, no.
快上舟 各位 快上来 Get on the ark! Everyone, on the ark now!
我觉得我们应该上去 I think we should get on the ark.
我同意 我也觉得应该去舟里面 I agree. I think we should get on the ark also.
我又冷又湿 我要回家了 I'm cold. I'm wet. I'm going home.
女士优先 快跑 Ladies first! Move!
天啊 真的发生了 真的来了 Oh, my God. This is happening. This is really happening.
上帝...快把所有人带上船 Holy... Get everyone on the ark now!
快上舟 快 上舟 快 Get on the ark now! Let's go! Get on the ark! Let's go!
快 快 快 上舟 Go, go, go! Get on the ark!
快 快 快 上舟 动作快 Go, go, go! On the ark! Go, go, go!
好吧 各位 我们走吧 All right, boys! Let's go! Let's go!
船太小了 留在这和孩子们一起 We're gonna need a bigger boat. Stay here with the kids.
丽塔 快 Come on, Rita!
所有人 快上来去甲板上 快 快 快 动作快点 Everyone, up the ramp! Onto the deck! Come on! Hurry, hurry, hurry!
赖安 回里面去 这儿太危险了 Dylan, get back inside! It's too dangerous.
不 爸爸 我说过会和你一起的 No, Dad. I told you, I'm with you.
大家小心的 快进去船里面 Careful, everyone. In the ark! In the ark!
小心脚地下 上甲板去 快 Watch your step! Up the ramp, everybody!
伙计们 帮我关上门 Guys, help me with the door!
关门 关门 Get the door! Get the door!
大家别慌 别慌 Guys! Guys!
大家抓稳了 Everybody hang on!
你们都好吗 没事吧? You guys all right? You okay?
普莱斯迪格 发生了大洪水 There's been a flood at Prestige Crest
现在看到的是直播画面 纽约的诺亚方舟 and you're seeing live images of New York Noah's ark
在巨浪中平稳行驶并且驶往记念大l桥方向 caught in the storm surge and heading towards Memorial Bridge!
我们会被撞碎的 We're going to crash!
把这东西掉头 Turn this thing around!
我们死定了 We're not gonna make it!
巴克斯特 快救救我们 Save us, Baxter!
我命令你停下 马上 嘿 I command thee halt! Stop! Whoa!
根本没用 It's not working!
拜托 帮帮忙 How about a little help here?
你说水灾是什么意思 刚最多下了十分钟的雨 What do you mean there was water damage? It rained for ten minutes.
这根本不可能 That is not possible.
- 我爱你们 - 好了 - I love you guys. - All right.
- 我说真的 - 好了 我知道了 - Seriously. - Okay, I got it.
- 我爱你 - 谢谢 - I love you. - Thank you.
所有同意公共土地使用提案的 请说"是" All those in favor of the Public Land Act, please signify by saying, "Aye."
上帝啊 Good God!
我想我们要靠岸了 I think we can walk from here.
议员 你好 介意我把船在这停靠一小会吗? Hello, Congressman. Mind if I park my boat here for a little while?
可是...怎么... But how...
是大坝 议员先生 The dam, Congressman.
你修的蓄水坝塌了 普莱斯迪格 全毁了 Your reservoir ruptured. Prestige Crest, it's all gone.
不可能 他们说绝不会出事的 No. They said that couldn't happen.
我从没想过... I never thought this...
是你 是你做的 你陷害我 你这个狗娘... You. You did this to me. You set me up, you crazy son of a...
哦 真是恶心 Wow. That is disgusting.
如果你嘴巴里面出来的都是这些 If that comes out your front,
真不敢想像 从你后面出的是什么 I don't even want to know what's coming out the back.
不需要往下看也知道这儿有狼 Don't look down, Congressman, but the wolves are here,
可我并不像害怕那些狼 一样害怕这两只 although I wouldn't worry so much about these wolves as those.
保重 Gesundheit.
就像你看到的一样 纽约诺亚的预言成真了 As you can see behind me, New York Noah's prediction came true.
土地使用提案的投票被推迟了 The vote of the Land Act Bill has been suspended,
对于朗议员的收受不正当利益的调查正在进行 pending investigation of Congressman Long for profiteering...
可现在最大的问题是 Of course now, the question is, how will these animals be returned
这些野生动物该怎么回到自然中去? to their natural habitats?
有人说 如果上帝能把它们带来 也能送它们回家 Something tells me, if God got them here, he can probably get them home.
毫无疑问 明天一大早白宫将会重新 The House will undoubtedly reinstate Congressman Baxter
让巴克斯特议员复职 when it reconvenes in the morning.
在那之前 国会山还有一大堆事情需要处理 Until then, there is a lot to be done here on Capitol Hill.
巴斯特怎么样? How's Buster doing?
巴斯特 快 Come on, Buster.
- 快 过来 - 快点 - No, come on. Come on! - Come on!
- 背包重吗? 还行吗? - 没问题 - These too heavy? It's all right? - No, it's fine.
他跟不上 He can't keep up.
亲爱的 我知道 I know, sweetie!
好了 我们稍微休息一下 All right. What do you say we take a little break?
爸爸 我们刚走了才五分钟 We've only been walking for, like, five minutes, Dad.
好吧 走走歇歇 生活就是这样的 Well, five on, five off. Life is about balance, right?
- 来点三明治怎么样? - 好啊 - How about some sandwiches? - Okay.
还有谁想要? 来吧 Who wants sandwiches? Let's do it!
我先吃 I get first dibs!
除了巴斯特 人人有份 Everyone but Buster is going to get a sandwich.
你没有三明治 你是只狗 不能分到三明治 You do not get a sandwich! You're a dog and you do not get a sandwich!
巴斯特和我们是一家人了 你必须习惯这点 Buster is part of the family now. You're just gonna have to get used to it.
可怜的巴斯特 Poor Buster!
亲爱的 过来 小心点 Honey, come here. Sweetheart, be careful. Come here.
- 亲爱的 给我留一个好吗? - 好的 - Hey, hon, save me one, okay? - Okay.
马上回来 I'll be right back.
你在这做什么? What are you doing here?
来老朋友待一会儿 Just hanging out with some old friends.
你早就知道了 对吗? 你知道大坝不牢靠 You knew all along, didn't you? You knew the dam was unstable.
如果不是因为那艘船 我和家人还有邻居们... If it hadn't been for the ark, my family, the neighbors...
我却一直和你作对 I fought you every step of the way.
没错 可你最后还是做到了 Yes, but you did it.
所以大洪水根本不是你造成的? So, you had nothing to do with the flood?
舟最后停下来的地点也和你无关? Like where the ark landed exactly?
我最后稍微推了你们一把 告我吧 I gave you a little shove at the end. Sue me.
你做得很好 小伙子 你改变了世界 You did good, son. You changed the world.
不 没有 No, no, I didn't.
让我想想 Well, let's see.
和家人一起 让他们过得很幸福 Spending time with your family, making them very happy.
给了那只狗一个家 Gave that dog a home.
没错 所以呢? Right. So?
所以? So?
我们该怎样改变世界? How do we change the world?
从小事做起 从身边人开始 One act of random kindness at a time.
从小事做起 从身边人开始 One act of random kindness.
是时候了 It's time.
跳那支舞 Do the dance.
一起来吗? Care to join me?
我现在命令你 I now issue a new commandment,
"常常跳这支舞" "Thou shalt do the dance."
(大家一起动起来 开心跳舞) (GONNA MAKE YOU SWEAT, EVERYBODY DANCE NOW PLAYING)
尽情欢唱 (LIP- SYNCING)
停下来 太傻了 Stop it! This is stupid!
这舞太丑了 你最好停下 That's awful dancing! You better stop!
女士们先生们 请别急着回家 Ladies and gentlemen, you don't have to go home.
你可以走了 我们要关机了 You just have to go. We are wrapped.
我们关机了 我们爱你 谢谢 We're wrapped. We love you. Thank you.