荣誉出品\n分享创作之乐，共赏字幕之美 -=THE LAST FANTASY=-
-=TLF字幕组=-\n翻译：小呆\n校对：老白
谢谢
不客气
谢谢
小姐，请往这边走
- 快点，我们走吧\n- 来了
晚上好，女士们
钱包
您好，请问能不能把你的夹克敞开？
不好意思！
跟我来
为什么保全搞得这么大排场？
很好啊，一群肌肉男带着一堆枪
- 我觉得很有安全感\n- 他们又不是来保护我们的
我有种不好的预感
凯特，不要想太多
嗯。不过你要注意安全，OK？
知道啦，不用替我操心了
老大：布兰科·杰维驰\n政治皮条客，高端武器商，有妻有女
擦，他们今晚可逍遥了
你看看
执行者：丹尼尔·卡佛\n乌克兰武装部队高级执行官，因贩卖军火被起诉，杰维驰首席保镖
你发情期到了？
哦，我喜欢后面那个妞儿，金发美眉
真不错，你觉得她的胸是真的么？
变态：比尔·克雷夫\n酗酒成性，前国会议员，欧妹控
杰维驰，嘿，谢谢你了，伙计
等会儿见
不用了，不用了，谢谢
来吧！
等着接招吧！
哦- 嚯！太赞了
实在是太赞了
让我来把这个给脱掉
让我脱光，谁要来搞我这个美国大胖子？
- 我要\n- 真的吗？
你们两个认识的吗？
- 不认识\n- 嗯，很快就会认识了
- 嗨，我是里拉\n- 凯特，很高兴认识你
- 我也很高兴认识你\n- 我很高兴能认识你们俩
萨瓦，来，来
快尝一下
- 拜托你，尝尝看\n- 安东尼，我真的很饱了
萨瓦，你连要卖的食物的味道怎么样都不知道
怎么可能会卖的出去呢？
我的胃，真的是…
很饱，我了解了
寂寞男：安东尼·赫斯特\n尖子生：智商145，厨艺家，但依旧潦倒
你，还有你，我们一起…
- 哈？这是怎么回事？\n- 你怎么来这儿了？！
活宝：朱利安·西姆斯\n无业游民，安东尼的死党，卡拉OK控
天呐！你这是…？
额滴个神！你身上是湿的
- 你怎么跑到这儿来了？\n- 我来看我最好的朋友的呀
- 把这些漂亮的小姐们给你介绍一下\n- 哦，天呐
- 这一位是，呃，伊娃？\n- 耶娃
- 耶娃\n- 嗯哼
- 这一位是娜苏亚？\n- 纳斯塔希娅
- 纳，纳斯塔希娅\n- 纳斯塔希娅，没错
嗯嗯，无所谓的
这是我的老朋友，安东尼
你最近怎样？嗨
想当年可是我把他从恶势力手中解救下来的
喂！
这倒是真的
她们是不是很正啊？看看这
- 你是不是还要找个地方住？\n- 不用了，我自己在这找到住的地方了
设施齐全，平板电视，小冰箱，还有卫星电视哦
能收到950个频道呢
- 我还在那儿看篮球赛呢\n- 不，你没有
- 你这话什么意思？\n- 全都是扯
昨天是十号，没有国际航班
现在是3点27，所以你是大概下午2点左右到的
那么你就是早上9点15坐英国航空公司的那班机从费城到的这里
除非你是给勒布朗·詹姆斯打手枪
否则你绝不可能看到什么篮球运动员
只有三个频道可以看到所以…
- 好吧\n- 你需要一个住的地方
我说了她们可以和我们一起
- 不行\n- 你有了女朋友了吗？
- 我没有，但是你有\n- 你有？？
- 你已经有了女朋友了？\n- 实际上…
斯蒂芬妮怎么样了？
我升职了所以得要搬去加州，我明天就搬走
我要你还有你的那些破烂玩意儿都滚出去\n这300美元给你
- 祝你好运\n- 你给我钱赶我走？
但是我觉得从心底里，她还是爱着我的
你来我餐馆帮手的话可以把我的沙发让给你睡
- 给这两位小姐叫辆出租车\n- 你要把我今晚的性福生活给送走？
来，过来给我打下手，做点正经事
我也要她们来帮忙打下手
我在那里等着你
怎么样？喜欢么？
嗯，你要我说真话吗？
好吧，妈的，去隔壁吃酱香鸡腿堡去吧
别，别，别这样！我会把它吃完的
我只是想说，也许做餐馆并不适合你
这是要取悦人的事而你很明显不在行
那我应该做什么，哈？\n你和我说说
难道我也得去做火锅或者快餐之类没有技术含量的食物吗？
为了能有顾客，是这样没错
- 喂，我要把霉运赶跑\n- 去吧
洗手间在哪里？我只是说着玩的
我得要赶快撒泡尿
秀人妹：特琳娜·罗娜\n单亲妈妈，安道尔人，最近失业
哇！
请问能不能借用一下电话？
没问题，就在那后面，右边
好的
呃，等一下，你要不要喝点水？
要不要喝点红酒？或者来点吃的？
不用了
哦，天呐
喂？
皮条客：赖德\nAV摄影师，迷幻药控，猫女的合作伙伴
赖德，是我，凯特
- 你他妈的在干吗？\n- 我？我在努力的活下来
- 他们说出了意外\n- 他们对我们开枪了
所有的姑娘都被杀了
不要担心，我们会对很仁慈，不会有什么痛苦的
我想知道她的孩子在哪儿
- 呃，什么孩子？\n- 看她小指上的伤痕
我侄子长牙的时候也是这样
他会在她妈妈小指上磨牙然后留下那样一个痕迹
她明明很想喝水却拒绝了
当然，也可能是我错了
但是我看到她的胸第一个想到的就是喝奶
真的么？我看到她那对宝就想来个水乳交融
- 你现在在哪？\n- 不用担心
- 你有和他们提到过亚历克斯么？\n- 当然没有
你好好多休息几天
裤子，把裤子脱了
凯特的儿子：亚历克斯 凯特的密友：格鲁什卡
- 喂？\n- 格鲁什卡
我只能说几句话所以你仔细听好
凯特，发生什么了？
我得要你替我多照顾亚历克斯一段时间了
我一能出国就会回去
凯特你现在在哪？有什么不顺利么？
快告诉我到底发生了什么，你吓到我了
- 萨宾娜死了\n- 什么？
- 萨宾娜死了\n- 萨宾娜死了？
那个男人准备上了，快看
喔，你喜欢这样，哈？
- 保险密码是“吐司”？\n- 嗯，吐司
格鲁什卡，拜托你…
我们以后再为她伤怀，但现在不是时候
你会吓到亚历克斯的
你能让他听一下电话吗？
喂，宝贝儿…我是妈妈
我很想你，我爱你
宝贝儿，我真的很爱你，想死你了
她走来了，快点说点什么
真的非常感谢
- 你们真是又美型又很好人\n- 啊，你也是
- 再见\n- 再见
你看到那个臀沟了没？
有意思，不过我觉得她有点可疑
为什么，就是因为她不愿意吃你做的食物？
不仅仅是这个原因，她马上就要把我的车开走了
她之所以会弯腰只是一个掩饰
来顺走我的车钥匙
- 对了，她还拿走了你的手机\n- 哈？
快点！
快点！跟上，兄弟
嘿，等等！嘿！
小姐，求你把门打开，你拿的是我的手机
还给我吧，疯男人，你在干嘛？
我只是想拿回我的手机，那还是我妈买给我的
还给我吧，求你，我的号码都在上面
小姐，你就不能去偷别人的车吗？
不要把我的手机也给拐走！喂！
小姐！喂！我会打电话报警的哦！
靠！
你就这么眼睁睁地看着她偷走你的车？
她肯定是很需要才这么做的
“她…她肯定很需要？”
我也很需要我的手机！
- 离你说的地方还要走多久？\n- 15分钟
你15分钟之前就这么说过
安东尼，你会不会觉得
我的一些商业创意不是很成功？
在什么方面？
有些其实还是，呃，蛮有趣的
最重要的是你积极向上的心态而不是你本身要有多优秀，对吧
- 大概是吧\n- 我有了一个想法
什么想法？
- 嗯，是关于很多很多钱\n- 啊，那不错
- 我们可以挣很多钱\n- 听上去不错
我要一张去特里维索的单程票
请稍等
你想要成立一个侦探事务所？
我想要我们一起成立一个侦探事务所
我知道你最近经受了很多打击
- 吧，格里说过…\n- 谁是格里？
你应该知道他的，每晚午夜都有他的节目
想知道你的配偶是否外遇了吗？
想试试把他们捉奸在床的滋味吗？
如果你不能逮到他们，凯捷可以帮助你
职业水准的私人侦探
他每次收费$400，还不包括各种费用
兄弟，相信我，那些有钱人不在乎那点小钱的
而且现在女人出轨的很多啦
而且我们还有一个天大的优势
- 什么来的？\n- 我们没有别的好的选择
听我说，这样的话我们需要一个办公室，经验…
- “我们？”\n- 必须的器材，还有各项资金
- 你刚刚说了“我们”\n- 没有，你听错了
一，两万美金就能建立起来
我可没钱
- 咱们去信托那里借点怎么样？\n- 绝对不可能
我努力了这么久才可以脱离家人的控制
- 最起码你还有家人\n- 不要再说了
我可是被非洲土著养大的
不要打非洲土著牌
那我能打友谊牌吗？
九年级的时候，你帮迪安的老婆找到了迪安的日记
结果她一把开抢打死了他
- 那你是不同意了？\n- 我他妈的是在东欧
我听你的主意三年前离开美国
我记得
就是为了脱离我的家庭
为什么呢？就是因为我喜欢做菜\n我喜欢自己一个人，就这样
呃，你的愿望都已经实现了
没人来你的餐馆
再许个愿从此不搞女人你就差不多了
安东尼？
嗯？
我能喝口水吗？
不行，你晚上会在我的沙发上尿床的
我知道是我叫你远离自己的家人
去旅行，过自己的生活
但是你所做只是躲到这里与世隔绝
我需要你加入我的计划，而你需要人生有点不一样
所以，你加入好吗，好兄弟？
加入我和我一起闯一闯好吗？拜托啦，兄弟，带点种啦
好吧
但是不成功的话，你就过来给我当服务生
- 我们真的开始了？\n- 我和你一伙了
- 我们会成功的！没错，会成功的！\n- 我们试试看
哇，你太给力了！好兄弟！朋友是手足女人是衣服
- 我可没有女人\n- 那也是我的目标之一
你会搞到女朋友的
这是，呃，等等
“你好”，在这里，快点，走这边
就是这里了
哦，对！
是这里了！兄弟，圣诞老人！
他们在放圣诞电影
三级片剧院，我们的办公室就在一家三级片剧院里
兄弟，难道你认为本杰瑞一开始就有那么大规模的么？
不，当然不，他们只有一个大大匙子还有一个桶
做成他们的冰激凌在卡车后面贩卖
一点点来，安东尼，我们才起步嘛
嘿，你是来看电影的吗？
得先买票哦
呃，等我看看
我们想要找一个…叫博登的人
啊，博达？就是我啊
过来，小伙子们，过来看看
这就是你们的办公室，你们将在这里赚一大笔
这里应有尽有，大办公桌，还可以看免费的三级片
小心，小心，地板有点烂了
这里，你们把文件可以都放在这里
这里也是一个很重要的设置
你可以在这洗手也可以在这上厕所
毕竟，所有人都有三急
五百一个月，但是，呃，看着你们面善
就给你们一个月四百，OK？
成交
好小伙子
- 好的\n- 快点，把钱给他
- 嗯，好了，给钱吧\n- 你准备好给我当服务生了吧？
慢慢来，慢慢来
- 你们会在这里发达起来的\n- 啊
- 加油\n- 谢谢
我们现在有了这么一个可以看圣诞情色电影
的狗窝还是什么的地方
接下来该做些什么？
职员
呃，我过去上的是军区外语学院
我会说五种语言
- 呃，不介意的话可否问一下，您…\n- 叫我戴斯特就好
小强：戴斯特·邓\n为人耿直，猛将兄，擅长交际，单手摔跤冠军
好的，呃，戴斯特，呃，你是怎么…？
呃，我的意思是你天生就这样么？
- 他在军队呆过的\n- 噢，噢，不是的
我被解雇后不久
我和我的妻子去弗罗里达度假
结果我们被鲨鱼袭击了
啊，所以你才这样的啊…？
- 哦，那到不是，鲨鱼把我的妻子吃了\n- 天呐
你有过这样眼睁睁的看着自己心爱的人
被一点点生吞活剥的经历么？
诶，鲨鱼没把她全部吞下去吗？
啊，他们在海滩上找到了一点残渣，貌似是屁股
空洞洞的衣服里面是我破碎的心
我想你们应该明白那是怎样的一种伤痛和打击
所以我开始酗酒和注射毒品
因为用了不干净的针头，我的一只手废掉了
五年前我到达了人生的最低谷
我留宿街头，靠乞讨维生，吃的都是狗粮
最后，我自暴自弃想去卧轨自杀
我躺到了地铁的铁轨上，那个车，就是这样，嗖的一声
把我的两条腿给卷跑了
呃，我觉得，你的乐观精神真心让我很钦佩
我对于上帝为我安排的每一天都心存感激
你知道吗，那场意外，让我懂得了上帝安排这一切的真意
从那以后，我就戒了酒和毒品
我下定决心要好好抓住
生活中的任何一个机会
好吧，呃，我觉得，诶
说点实在的，你可以做些什么呢？
看到在那里的电话了吧？
铃！铃！
还有我泡咖啡的手艺很不错
好的。你什么时候能来上班？
喂？
是丹尼尔？卡佛么？我是凯特
凯特，你在哪儿呢？你竟然还活着实在是太让人庆幸了
- 你怎么有我的号码？\n- 我把赖德的号码簿给拷过来了
真是努力的工作啊，所以你想干嘛？
想和我来一腿？
我手上拿着你们要的硬盘，OK？
如果你不把你的那些走狗弄走的话
你们老板主演的电影我就上传到YouTube
让他也当一次网络红人
你给我把那个该死的音乐关了！
哦！
你从那个硬盘是得不到任何信息的
它是被军事加密过的
如果你擅自打开它会自动清空
我已经去找过专家，他已经解开了
你当我是三岁小毛孩儿呢
我走的路比你过的桥还多
我会抓住你的，今天下午之前
靠
我发现了一辆车，被人遗弃在街上
转手卖了我估计能赚300- 400欧元，绝对的
我也不知道那是谁的车，管他呢
滚！离我的车远一点！滚开，你这个脏兮兮的小杂种！
我说了给我走远一点！
离我的车远一点
哈？你做了什么？你是不是疯了？
- 你个傻逼\n- 是你说的把开车的人给杀了
又没说是男是女
- 你干掉了一个警察？\n- 嗯啊
你这一枪甭想我出钱，傻逼！
干掉他
好吧，我现在是真的被你惹火了，我的美人儿
看来得出动职业杀手来解决了
启动B计划，海伦·宾厄姆该出场了
- 海伦，真高兴见到你\n- 谢谢你还挂记着我
猎寻者：海伦·宾厄姆\n寻人专家，昆斯伯里猎狐冠军，格洛斯特公爵的二侄女
我一直挂念着你
- 玛丽娅最近怎么样？\n- 挺好的
伊丽丝卡呢？她多大了？该有三岁了吧？
- 三岁半了\n- 真幸福
你应该认识拉兹威尔的吧？
当然，他穿开裆裤的时候我俩就认识了
你好啊，海伦
哟，鲍勃，还是用Acqua di Parma的古龙水呢？
江山易改本性难移
真正的男人从不改变自己的古龙水品牌\n我们走吧？
那个硬盘是被五级加密了的
她肯定没办法看到里面内容
尽管这样，你还是准备付一大笔钱把它夺回来
那个硬盘上到底有些什么，丹尼尔？
- 我女儿的照片\n- 哼
你该知道的就是这些，海伦\n相信我，其他的你不需要知道
那个女人呢？你们对她都有什么资料？
鲍勃？
谢谢
她叫凯特琳娜·罗娜，也被叫做凯特
离开安道尔那种穷乡僻壤出来找活儿做
实际上就是一个高级一点的鸡
哦，真可怜
还有什么？
- 呃，至少目前看来她还是蛮聪明的\n- 如何得知？
- 就凭她现在还能呼吸也算不错了\n- 啊，这样啊
那那些其他的女孩儿呢，没有凯特琳娜聪明的那些？
你准备怎么对付她们？
车祸，医疗事故，着火，被警察错手打死
我要的就是最重要的这个
真可怕
我还以为你们这些男人会有所变化
哦，我们当然变了
我们过去才叫一个残忍
你需不需要什么帮忙？
不用，不用！
呃，我认为你需要的
罗纳先生？
罗纳先生，我想要告诉您，罗纳先生
那就是我们对于凯特琳娜的失踪
和您有着一样的感受
真的吗？那就是你也一点也不在意的意思了
你都不担心你的女儿的安危么？
干嘛要担心她？我都好久没见过她了\n她都从来没给过我一个子儿
她被人上赚那么多钱，却一点都不分给她老子
- 这个老婊子是谁？\n- 她是警察
叫维吉尼亚·沃夫\n这是我儿子
很高兴见到你
不知道您是否了解您的妹妹在哪里？
- 我啥都不知道\n- 这样吧
如果有什么消息的话
请你一定通知我
为啥她要浪费这个时间找我那个所谓的妹妹？
她藏不住的，她还有一个孩子呢
啊，谢谢
等等
喔，我们得有一个电梯，操他妈的这些狗屁楼梯
- 嘿，不好意思迟到了\n- 干嘛这么迟？
戴斯特·沃夫，呃，有没有什么电话？
呃，博达打过电话来
他说你要的那个瑞典壮阳药
他会悄悄地快递给你的
呃，我是说，有没有什么人找我们做事的
- 我现在是在花钱给你看色情电影吗？\n- 没这回事，我根本没和他说过这些
绝对是他记错人了
不管怎样，兄弟，我弄了一些名片
- 给你，看看\n- 我来瞅瞅
“想要一个职业水准的侦探吗？\n胡安侦探事务所为您服务”
- 谁是胡安？\n- 不，不，不，那是“朱- 安”
是杂交来的，我们俩的名字混合而成
朱利安和安东尼，朱- 安，不错吧？
- 为什么你的名字放前面？\n- 安朱听上去像律师事务所
听说过吧
不过，如果你不喜欢的话
我可以回去重新打印
只有这个你不满意的么？我们真的是开始了吗？
真好！
看看这
这到底说的啥啊？
这是我们在餐馆遇见的那个女人
父亲寻找失踪的女儿，她就是我们的第一笔生意了
下一班前往意大利巴里的船将于八分钟后离岸
请乘客现在上船
最后一次通报，下一班前往意大利巴里的船
将于八分钟后离岸
请乘客现在上船
亲爱的，醒醒
哎唷
我们现在在哪儿？
我们在安科纳
哦，我刚刚不小心睡着了
很好，那你现在可以一晚上都有精力了
- 你自找的！\n- 怎么回事？
这是一个意外，我什么也没做
- 走\n- 这真的只是一个意外
走，快走
他们的安全是我们的第一要务
安全
- 你他妈的这是干嘛？\n- 我们根本不是在意大利
我们去不了，太多警察了
他们连车子的行李箱都查，咱们明天再走吧
我们今晚就在这共度良宵，明天就走，我保证
- 绝对没有问题的\n- 我可不这么认为
你的梦中情人红了
父亲震惊的发现孩子没回来吃晚饭
- 这有什么不对的么？\n- 这很明显都是假话
她可不是会回家吃晚饭的姑娘
再说凭什么这能成头条？
这就说明？
有些有背景的坏人躲在背后
想要在她说出些什么之前找到她
哇，童话大王叔叔，说得很好！
我只是觉得事情有些不对头
还有很多事情都还没准备好你怎么突然开始这么热心？
我只是很好奇，仅此而已
我知道了！你想上她，是不是？
- 你这是胡说什么啊？\n- 你就是这么想的
我可以理解的\n这是我们的第一笔生意
快点，我们得赶上车，走吧
- 赖德先生？下午好\n- 你是为卡佛先生工作的么？
- 没错\n- 你知道我的那些姑娘都哪去了么？
我来此就是希望能得到您的帮助
是这样，你的一个小姐，凯特琳娜
从我的雇主那里偷了点东西
我想知道你是否得到她的什么消息或者她现在在哪里
我也不知道那个小婊子在哪里
那他妈的其他的妞儿呢？\n黛比，苏希，泡泡，萨宾娜？
我恐怕也不知道
那我俩都他妈的什么都不知道啊
呃，也许你知不知道凯特琳娜把孩子留给谁带着的？
女士，请注意，你来的是什么地方，妓女介绍所
你都已经是黑木耳了，没有冒犯的意思，妈妈
哦，我很抱歉我可不是你妈妈
不过我还是很想有一个像你这样的儿子的
只可惜没这么好的福气啊，我是要孤独终老了
只是你的亲生母亲，\n难道她没有教过你用手指别人是很不礼貌的么？
我妈教的我唯一一件事就是拳头解决一切问题
再洗去自己的罪名
她教我妹妹的就是怎么去取悦男人
- 把男人搞爽了就有的混了\n- 真不孝
汉斯，送客
如果你对你的母亲亲近点\n也许她就有机会让你更有教养一点
比如，当有女士来造访的时候你最起码应该站起来
你现在是否愿意为我站起身了呢，赖德先生？
女士，我发誓我真的不知道她在哪里
凯特和她那该死的孩子我都不知道啊
你现在可以坐下来了
啊！天呐！
你疯了么？
上帝啊！好，好，好，我会把我所知道的全都告诉你
嗯，很不幸的是，对于你这样一个没什么信誉的男人
没有冒犯的意思
但是这就你样被一个荡妇抚养长大
你绝对有可能不说实话
大姐，你真的可以相信我
啊，那只是一个选项
哦，别，别，别，求你了，女士！
卡佛先生吗？我是斯洛博丹
我们发现有两名年轻男子
好的，等会儿就把照片发给你
- 我们将会帮您找到您的女儿\n- 那些警察？哼！他们能找到个屁
我完全认同您的看法
所以您才需要像我们这样的专业人才
我们已经解决过，呃，多少起案子了，安东尼？
- 一起\n- 已经数都数不过来了
我们衷心的希望能替您找到您的女儿
- 找到她？\n- 没错
谁说凯特琳娜失踪了？我早就和那个女人说了不是啊
什么女人？
一个叫维京·沃夫的女警察，长得挺正的
我说了我的女儿从不着家，就像她妈妈一样
家里只剩下一个不小心生下来的儿子
喂！喂！
要多少钱？
呃，其实不需要很多的
我们每天收费400美元还有额外花销
我们需要2000美元的定金
100欧元怎么样？
什么，一天100欧元？
不，整个的解决
给我100欧元，我帮你找到我妹妹
她最先开始做鸡时候
我开车带她到那里，就是你们说的，为了安全
我可以带你们去那个地方
还可以带你们去找她最喜欢的顾客\n也许他知道她藏在哪里
是这样，我们的工作是你付钱给我们…
- 呐，给你\n- 你这是干嘛？
- 你有车没？\n- 你竟然付钱给他
我们应该拿到定金的，你到底是抽什么筋？
我觉着匹诺曹该为自己的谎话把鼻子削掉一点
哦，天吶！
而这样可以教会我们的猪仔不要随便用手指着别人
有一辆车从养猪场开始就一直在跟着我们
他们刚刚拍了我们的照片
啊哦，可能是警察
呜呜呜呜
- 需不需要我甩掉他们？\n- 要的
为什么我们不走大路？
- 有树！\n- 向左，左，左！
我好像尿出来了
靠
- 哦，该死，你还好吧？\n- 嗯，你呢？
我没事
哟，你找来的那个孩子呢？
- 朋友，他看上去像是死了\n- 你还好吧？
快起来
你应该绑安全带的
振作起来，你没什么事吧？
你得去看医生，我们找的士带你过去
喂？
目标跟丢了，有没有造成什么问题？
呃，不要担心
我们已经把边境封锁了
她不大可能去找警察再说我们在警方那里也有帮手
我才不担心警察什么的
在这里你把5,000个人给活埋了都可能没什么事
但是在美国，一点点丑闻其他那些参议员就可以大做文章
如果她真的把事情捅了出去
你们的所谓核计划
也就只能在梦里实现了
- 上帝啊，比尔，不是我…\n- 不要叫我上帝
- 我只要你给我找到那个女孩儿\n- 已经在解决了，相信我
卡佛已经让他手下最得力的人出手了
我现在愿意相信你一下，赖德先生
你确实不知道什么更多的东西了
很抱歉占用了你整个上午
但我相信你很赞赏我这么的细致
我亲爱的母亲曾经说过
一个工作既然要做就要把它做好
你直接杀了我吧
喔，你刚刚说的是什么？
求你，杀了我吧
- 你个老婊子\n- 就是这句了
现在该是和你致别的时候了
现在，你要不要准备一下？
安东尼·赫斯特和朱利安·西姆斯，美国公民
凯特就是在安东尼的车里拿着朱利安的手机\n打电话给你的
- 他们干嘛要来找这家人？\n- 他们是私家侦探
- 他们是为谁做事？\n我们也不清楚
但是朱利安给过凯特的哥哥100欧元
- 这些会对我们造成问题么？\n- 有可能
要不要我打电话查一下？
不，不用，我们自己解决掉
你好，近来如何？
你好啊，漂亮的小姐们
呃，那个…
海滨路？是念海滨路吗？
我们想要去海滨埔，小姐可否帮我们一下？请帮帮忙？
你看到他们围的那么高的围巾了么？
这可不是你当初所说的那回事
你是要泡妞儿呢还是要开一家私人侦探事务所呢？
两样都想
我觉得，你得把注意力放在找到凯塔琳娜上
哦！安东尼和凯特琳娜一起坐在树荫里…
她的吸精大法，无出其右
没有谁的那活儿能做的像她那么好
照你这么说
凯特还是个吸精高手？
“吸精高手”
你这相当于把卡拉瓦乔说成一个漆匠
先生们，你们要不要喝点茶？我有甘菊茶
好啊，我要来一杯
你们不是那么扛不住的人吧？
- 当然不是\n- 我们？不是，您继续说
凯特从我身上吸出的精液
一发能够喷射十几公尺
用海洋故事作家梅尔维尔的说法就是
好像大白鲸头顶的喷泉一样源源不断地涌出
我给你们看看这个
这是凯特离开前留下的标记
“这是凯特的乐趣”
哇，从窗子到墙上到处都是
确实
我想问清楚一件事
如果我帮你们找到她，你们会不会，呃，给我一些钱之类的好处
我也不想多市侩
但是我喜欢各种各样的洋妞儿，很费钱的
嗯，我们会给你一大笔钱
而且，呃，凯特琳娜的父亲超级有钱，他也会给你钱的
非常好，我是通过一个叫赖德的人才和她搭上的
你有那个赖德的号码么？
比那还好，我有他的地址
- 嗨\n- 嗨
嗯，这被五级加密过了
- 五级？\n- 嗯哼
哦，那可就麻烦了
如果说有谁能够帮到我，那就只有你了\n你是我所知道的唯一一个天才
谢谢，这么多年过去了，你还是一点都没有变
我会尽我所能的尽快
把硬盘和护照带到饭店去找你
你确定你找对了地方？
这就是他写的地址
- 我当初可没说我要做些\n- 确实写得有点草
我们可以回去了吧？
快点，就是这里了，准备好了没？
没有
什么样的皮条客会不开门来迎接顾客呢？
一个死了的皮条客
哦，靠
怎么个情况？
你还记得你当初把一只小猫放到除草机里么？
- 嗯\n- 这比那更惨
我勒个去！
不要拿死人开玩笑
啊-啊！这他妈的是什么玩意儿？
这些难道是…？啊啊啊！
干掉他的女人绝对是真的发毛了
啥，一个女人做的这些？
- 我是这么认为的\n- 想不想看看她长什么样？
- 看那个在闪的亮光\n- 靠！
是安防摄像机，应该全都录下来了
外面有光所以那个变态的婊子忽略了这个
当然，我有可能错了，但几率近乎为零
我们看看这位女士是怎么玩的动手游戏
哦，她玩的可比动手游戏强多了
哦哦哦，天呐！嗷嗷嗷！
额滴个神，她是要去…
别是他的蛋，不要是他- 他- 他…嗷！
…在意大利一条河的一个船屋上
- 什么？意大利？\n- …在费拉拉附近
这个混蛋把凯特给出卖了，那个孩子要完蛋了
- 我们得去提醒她一下\n- 看看这个
呃，格鲁什卡，格鲁什卡，格鲁什卡…
- 这里没有什么格鲁什卡\n- 那找找，呃， 艾格芬娜
- 艾格芬娜？\n- 格鲁什卡是艾格芬娜的简称
明明格鲁什卡更长一点
这个只有三个音节…你就直接给我找到号码就好
这后缀是K或者H的
- 不信去读读陀思妥耶夫斯基的卡拉马佐夫兄弟\n- 或者直接去看看精典荟萃
我读过了，查你的号码吧
嗯，我真是无语了\n接通了，你和她说
- 为什么不是你和她说？\n- 不要，我紧张
我的胃已经开始翻腾了
- 我都出冷汗了\n- 你他妈的还是闭嘴吧
格鲁什卡，听我说，有人要来杀你
一个非常狠辣的变态女人正赶过去杀你
赶快离开，有人要去杀你还有凯特的小孩儿
她说的是俄语，貌似听不懂我说的
哈？俄语？好吧，让我来试试
你会说俄语？
我以前有过一个俄国的女朋友
婊子！立刻滚开那里！
我要杀了你！我要杀了你！
我要杀了你！快点滚开那里！
- 你这是在威胁我么？\n- 我要杀了你！
- 你确定她能听懂你说的？\n- 我怎么知道
我觉得咱们得亲自过去提醒她
年轻的小姐，我真的很喜欢你
你的达观以及对于自己朋友的忠诚都让我心生钦佩
哦- 哦- 哦
可以了
你要明白一点，我无论如何都会找到凯特琳娜的
你的牺牲行为和高尚品德
都会只是一场徒劳的抗争
哦，亲爱的
看到这些牙了没？
他们总是让我想起勇敢这种玩意儿
我在也门拷问一个男人的时候
从他身上取下来做成的
他坚持不屈服整整八天
一直到死都什么都没说
当然，爆粗口除外
啊，看看是谁醒了
你好呀
- 求你…\n- 你好！你好，乖
求你放过这个孩子吧
放过他
你好，小不点？
放过他！求你放过亚历克斯
哦哟，你喜欢这个玩具，是么？
凯特在哪里？
尽管我真的很想当私人侦探不过我已经准备好去当服务生了
- 我们得要去救那个女人\n- 你觉得她还活着么？
我也不知道，但我希望她还活着
这是吗啡，可以让你没有任何痛苦的死去的
我真的不知道她在哪里
嘘
- 我相信你说的话\n- 求你，放过孩子
好，好吧，我会报警，他们会照顾这个孩子的
你放心我从来不会去伤害一个小孩子的
除了周日
喂！喂！
你是不知道怎么开快艇吗？我身上都湿了，婊子！
- 喂？\n- 喂，是维尔京·沃夫么？
我是
我是凯特琳娜的父亲，你还记得我吗？
罗纳先生，早上好，有什么我能帮到您的么？
有人么？
哦，天呐
小姐，你还好吗？
还能说话吗
- 慢慢来，我过来救你们来了\n- 小姐，你还好么？
辉…辉煌？
上帝啊
- 怎么了？\n- 她已经死了
她好像说到什么“辉煌”
上帝啊，不要这个样子
我估计她说的应该是布德瓦的辉煌酒店
估计就是凯特所在的地方了
戴斯，我要你帮我定去布德瓦的机票\n还有我们要住辉煌酒店
顺便给我寄点保暖内衣
你真的会给我买一辆新卡车？
- 这是我的荣幸\n- 有广播，能放CD，DVD和电视的那种？
绝对装备齐全，您有什么消息要告诉我？
有两个小伙子来过，想要知道我女儿的下落
他们还问了很多问题
呐，这是他们的名片
那你是不是现在要兑现了
啊，是，我现在就兑现
你要不要准备一下？
准备什么？
没有罗纳，没有这么个人
不是罗纳？好吧，那你看看有没有凯特或者凯特琳娜
先生，我们有370个房间，超过1,00名房客
好吧，是一位比较小巧的女性，身高大约五尺四或五尺五作业
深色的长发，屁股很翘
胸部很发达，穿着紧身裙子的
我不清楚，很抱歉
好吧，那请给我们开一间房
今天是魔术大会
我恐怕现在我们只剩总统套房了
这收费很高，要2,400欧元一晚
- 2,400欧元一晚？\n- 是的
好吧，你，呃，有没有额外服务呢？
很抱歉，没有
- 都没有什么额外服务还这么贵？\n- 没有
你好？
- 有什么我能为您效劳的么？\n- 你好
请问这里是胡安侦探事务所吗？
- 是朱- 安侦探事务所，请进来说\n- 谢谢
您需要喝点什么吗？
我们有很多种不错的花草茶
或者你只是期待来一次好的约会？
您真客气，我什么都不要，谢谢
我叫艾米丽·勃朗特
我是国家安全总局的
我们认为你们正在调查一个对于我们来说很重要的案件
就是关于那个失踪的女孩儿，凯尔琳娜·罗纳
艾米丽·勃朗特？
和那个女作家勃朗特一样的？
她貌似是因为肺结核还是其他什么玩意儿死的？
呃，从事实上说，确实是这样
好吧，勃朗特小姐，我不能和你说这个案子的情况
你得和我的老板亲自说
什么时候我能见到他们？
呃，他们现在在外地，所以可能还要再过几天
那他们现在是在哪里？
为什么你不直接把你的号码留给我
我交给我的老板让他们来联系你呢？
也可以是你把刚刚塞进约翰福音的
那张便条交给我
你…
你，呃，你反过来看到了
确实
哦，上帝在看着你
该死
哦，我的天呐
把衣服穿好了
真可爱
真赞！哇！
哇，超大的！我要这个，全都归我
你去打电话，我来把他弄到床上
好啦，我们现在只要给你找到妈妈就好了
嘘，都没事了
嗨，我是朱利安，我想要找一个叫凯特还是凯特琳娜什么的女人
喂？喂？
OK，好吧
我们来看看这里怎么样了，乖啊？
你能不能叫这个孩子闭嘴？
喂？嗨？我要找一个叫凯特琳娜或是凯特的女人
- 不，不，我们是房务管理\n- 啊，我很抱歉
呃，等会儿能不能多拿些毛巾过来？
可以的，可以的，等一会儿
一条新留言
呃，你好，我是朱利安·西姆斯…
她就在那儿，是她吧？
就是那种身材
我看上去怎么样？
很不错，我来瞅瞅，风流倜傥啊
我们的小宝贝儿怎么样？还好么？
胸，看到她的胸了没？
这次一定搞到她的号码
过来，把他还给我，把我的孩子给我
- 好的\n- 把他还给我，快点
坐下
我的包里可是有把枪的
如果你想做什么坏事，我保证一定会打爆你的头
没有的事，你不必这样
没必要刻意这么说，你压根都没什么所谓的枪
兄弟，万一你说错了怎么办
你们到底是谁，嗯？
你认不出我们了？
- 我偷了你的车的那个？\n- 还偷了我的手机
我的手机铃声啊，号码还有我里面存的那些艳照全都没了
你们到底有什么企图？
- 你抽什么疯啊？\n- 我一定是出现幻觉了，你不可能扇了我一巴掌
我们是私人侦探，你父亲雇佣了我们来找到你
- 我父亲？\n- 我的意思是，其实吧，我们…
- 嗯，没错，他很担心你
他只记着我从我母亲过世后一分钱都没寄过给他
你们的关系不是很融洽么？
可以这么说
哦！我爹和我也是这样
好像只有我弟弟才是他亲儿子一样\n只带他去钓鱼和吃好吃的
我父亲用皮带抽我
还让和猪一起睡在猪圈里
好吧，你的处境确实要可怜那么一点
- 真可怜\n- 我儿子怎么在你们手里？
- 艾格芬娜死了\n- 谁是艾格芬娜？
- 格鲁什卡是艾格芬娜的简称\n- 压根就没人看到过这种说法
- 你可以去查一下精典荟萃\n- 格鲁什卡死了？
嗯，赖德也死了
嗯，死了
- 他只是帮我介绍客人的人\n- 不，他已经不在了
- 他被简单的肢解了\n- 那些人还差点杀死我们的助理
砍掉了他一只胳膊
到底是怎样的人才能把他最后的胳膊都砍掉了？
凯特，这是一些狠辣到敢把人阉掉的人物
- 他们马上就会找到你\n- 嗯，找到你
他们会把你切的和薯片一样\n所以我们得一起赶快离开这里
不，不行，我还要等到一个人\n我是432房，在那里等我
等等，不，我们一起过去，把钱付了，OK？
你叫我来付钱？
你凭什么叫我付钱？我甚至…我甚至一口都没吃这些
要出来么？
要下楼么？
是的，谢谢
- 呃，你要去几层？\n- 嗯，就是这一层就好
呃，好的
- 女士优先\n- 谢谢
救命，她要杀我
快来人啊，她是一个变态杀手\n看她的身材就知道了！
凯特琳娜和你的朋友去了哪里？
该死
- 谁啊\n- 是我
快点一起进来，我们的时间可是有限的
你干嘛去了？怎么能把她带到这里来？
不是我要带她来的，她手里有枪啊
求你，饶了我！
最后只剩下你们了
呐，可否麻烦你们拉上窗帘？
你的口音很好听，你是哪个国家的？
- 我来试着有没有用\n- 我是加拿大人
我要把之前对加拿大所说的不好的话全都收回
好吧，现在说说你们俩是怎么卷进来的？
我们是私家侦探
真有意思
为什么每个人听到这话都是这个反应？
- 谁？\n- 我是伊万，来找凯特的
我来找凯特，她在么？
请进吧
嘿，大家伙儿，齐格弗里德
哇！
啊，真是太棒了
现在，任务快要完成了
- 女士优先\n- 求你，我还有一个孩子呢
噢，我亲爱的凯特琳娜小姐
如果每次我都放过说这些的人
就不是我而是其他人在这里了
现在
你是否要准备一下？
等等！我和我的搭档有一张DVD光盘
上面有你在没有行医执照的情况下
对一个恶心的皮条客实施手术的情景
绝对会给你带来很多麻烦的
我年纪大了才会有这种失误
这不是你的过失，当时外面是白天
- 所以你没看到那个闪光\n- 那个带子在哪里？
哦，好吧，问问题是好事，看吧？我们这算作谈判了
我只需要你们中的一人告诉我带子在哪里
我的耐心快要耗光了
我要找齐格弗里德，你肯定是他的秘书吧
快看
能不能稍等一下？
快！
小姐，快趴下！
进来，进来，进来
你这是要干嘛？不，你不能这么做
好吧，这实在是太疯狂了
我的天呐
好了，把孩子递给我
啊！
等一会儿，你总不会想看到我空着手下去吧
你还在磨叽什么？快点！
靠！
有人吗！救命！
都让开！
喂，你要去哪儿？
海伦，干得不错
钱明天就打到你账户里去
一直有人在旁边搅和着
那是在预想范围之外发生的
那是谁？
呐，丹尼尔，我问你
你不知道有那么两个傻乎乎的小伙子
- 玩着所谓的侦探游戏吧？\n- 嗯，我也是你和我说我才知道的
你没有派别的人在做这项任务吧？
当然没有
我知道你一向喜欢单独行动
这是必须的
杰维驰先生为美国国防部长举办了一个募捐宴会
让我顺便邀请你
哇哦，真漂亮
你知道我参加宴会都是什么样的
海伦，对于我们之间你是否后悔过…？
丹尼尔，现在这种情况是最好的了
我们之间永远保持着这样的关系
换别的人来解决，海伦退出这个任务
没错，现在局势已经完全在掌握之下了
好的
真是一个勇敢的小姑娘
今天和爸爸一起玩的开心吗？
海伦是一个不错的杀手
最好的，以一抵百
你觉得她有没有偷看过那个硬盘里的内容？
应该没有
但是我不能冒这个险
没事的，鲍勃
虽然老兵不会轻易杀死
但是炸弹总是让他们难逃一劫
你好啊，鲍勃\n和她说你等会打回去
进到车里去吧
聪明的话就乖乖回答我的问题
之后你就尽可以拍点古龙水当什么也没发生过
而我也会看在往日的情分上放过你
只耽误你十秒钟，塔哒，塔哒
现在，我只要你回答我几个问题
就可以结束了
否则的话，我家凑巧还有一个隔音的地下室
我可以小小的布置一下
让你在里面过过让你终生难忘的日子
之后，我就去把你可爱的小女儿
她在哪里？瓜达拉哈拉？
求你不要伤害她
你们派了谁来代替我？
尚·牧笛
啊，我喜欢的那个苏格兰男人，他现在就在那里了？
他在里维埃拉饭店
非常好，非常感谢
这不是我想的，海伦
哦，当然不，我一直都很欣赏你的，鲍勃
那你要不要准备一下？
看看你，亲爱的
真是让人看着就想干的鸡
操他妈的
板凳杀手：尚·穆迪\n苏格兰莽汉，职业杀手，工作狂
好家伙
我那活儿真是无限强大啊，哈？
看看我的兄弟，硬的跟尼玛榔头似的
擦，这他妈的是谁啊？
- 喂？\n- 我是卡佛
- 啥？\n- 我是卡佛，我们找到那个女人了
明白，等一下，等一下，我先找支笔记一下
安东尼
你能帮我接一下孩子么？谢谢
嗯
好的
闻上去好香啊
我们找到妈妈了
这世上有多少人啊？
在那么多人中，我们还是找到了你妈妈
一切都会好的
你要为我表演做体操吗？
嗯？左转，右转
再来点霹雳舞
耶！
乖乖，乖乖！把我的鼻子拿走
不要鼻子了，闻过你就不再用鼻子了
来啊，拿走，拿走
我知道啦
他只想要你
- 哦，真的么？\n- 嗯，对我一点兴趣都没有
这一个，这一个
你觉得你到时候会说几门语言呢？
谢谢
不客气
这是低调还是他妈的掩护呢？
这他妈的是什么玩意儿啊？
- 穆迪先生，对吗？\n- 就是我了，伙计
怎么个情况？
他们过去三个小时里都在502里呆着的
呃，穆迪先生，为什么我们不能和您一起行动呢？
我是说，我们好不容易跟踪他们好几天了
为什么现在这个时候不要我们了？
因为你们都是一群没用的软蛋
你们的老板是怎么对你们说的？
呃，他告诉我们说你是恐怖手段专家
你要单独解决但是…
够了，就这样就够了，麻烦你们
乖乖地坐在这里，吃点点心，打打飞机
但尼玛把嘴给我闭上，你个傻逼
我喜欢这个家伙！
嘘
别惊动他们
给我站起来，娘娘腔
你会不会找错地方了
没有
现在站起来，伙计
怎么回事？你究竟是谁？
嗯，听着
你们几个马上都要死了
但是怎么死就取决与我们的美女了
呐…
那是一个婴儿吗？上帝作证\n我已经好多年没见婴儿的血了
- 求求你，求你\n- 我可是在看着你，小美女
听我说话的时候看着我的眼睛
真是一个极品啊
我刚刚在喀布尔做完一项任务
在那里连母猪都找不到
我他妈的憋得快成和尚了
所以呢，如果你能好好让我爽一下
我就可以让你们死得很爽快
但是如果你不乖的话…
嘿嘿，那么，我恐怕就得让你们不那么好过了
抱歉，但是我没听懂你刚刚所说的
我勒个去！
你个婊子在这个国家混竟然都不会说英语吗？
请你再说一遍
如果…你…帮我…吹箫的话，哈？
这些都听得懂吗？明白吗？不明白？
如果你乖乖的把我伺候好了，我就很快了结你\n给你一个痛快
但是如果你不乖的话…
我就把这个家伙的小老二切下来
再塞到他嘴里去
明白了没？你丫听懂我说的了吗？
够了，够了，放过她
哦，安东尼，别做傻事，求你
我的确不识时务但是你实在是太混账了
你不是那么不识时务？
好啊，坚持着，你再来啊
嚯 嚯 嚯！
操你妈的
你的蛋还没让你听话是吧？
让你尝尝蛋疼的滋味
让你知道我的厉害
呐，我们刚刚说到哪儿了？
来，说，让那个小兔崽子安静点
就是这样，舔舔你的小嘴唇
准备开始了哦
呃，刚刚发生了什么？
靠
是谁？
海伦·宾厄姆
我刚刚救了你们一命，现在能不能给我开下门？
还是要我打电话给客房服务
让他们来清理一下床上的尸体？
我不是来杀你们的
可以把枪放下了
那个家伙是谁？
那是尚·穆迪先生
一个很有名的取代我来解决你们的杀手
那他的头为什么炸碎？
亚音速激爆
送他去死当然要盛大一点
你个傻叉现在打电话给我干嘛？
出了点问题，穆迪
宾厄姆逃了，你自己小心一点
谢谢你，丹尼尔，我会把话传给他的
到底是谁雇你来杀我们？
- 我们凭什么要相信你？\n- 好问题
但当务之急是我们得离开这个国家，一起走吧
识抬举的话就不要提及我的职业
或者…我有烟瘾这件事…也不准说
- 你好啊，妈妈\n- 哦，海伦
- 真是一个惊喜啊！\n- 生日快乐，妈妈
亲爱的，你从来都不会忘记我的生日，是吧？
- 当然不会\n- 这次你还带了朋友回来
进来吧，大家伙儿，全都进来吧
这边走，往这边…
哇，我的小老天！
这个可爱的家伙是谁哇？
他叫亚历克斯
亚历克斯，长得可真可爱，我可以抱一下吗？
呃，当然可以
哦！
我的天呐
- 他很喜欢你\n- 我一向很讨孩子们喜欢
我也喜欢和孩子玩
他们是上帝的祝福
对于世人无法避及的堕落真是一种慰藉
我们最先开始都是像他一样
是纯洁天真的小天使…
海伦，是吧？
- 是，妈妈，我们现在可以进去了吧？
蛋糕很可口
没想到没有我的帮忙你也能做到这个程度
没什么的
不过，亲爱的，你是不是又胖了？
我觉得你摄入的糖分已经足够多了
亲爱的，你已经不是青春无敌的小姑娘啦
你得好好照顾好自己
我又不能一辈子陪在你身边照顾你
知道啦，妈妈，现在不是你要上床睡觉的时间了么？
真的很晚了哦
哦，好吧，我知道我再待下去就该讨人嫌了
我也确实觉得那些甜腻的东西让我困了
你知道那些备用的被褥和枕头在哪里吧？
嗯，知道的
非常感谢你们陪我这个老人家过了这么一个盛大的生日
愿上帝保佑你们
我爱你
- 嗯，我也爱你，妈妈\n- 晚安
- 晚安\n- 晚安
- 晚安\n- 晚安，宾厄姆夫人
现在都明白了
首先，我们得把那个硬盘拿回来
他不会已经把它都删干净了吗？
雅克维克的公司制造
那是他的 他才不会轻易放弃
但是一旦带子传出去他们就都完了
克雷夫只要知道带子在雅克维克手里就行了
他压根不需要这个，这是核边缘政策
凯特，你怎么了？
喔！你要拿着那个去干吗？
- 凯特？\n- 都管他妈的
你杀了格鲁什卡
乖孩子，把枪放下，你会伤到自己的
你怎么能去杀死完全无辜的人？
我不知道，我从未遇过完全无辜的人
我们俩职业的唯一不同
就是我征服了一个人以后他们不会把精液射到我的胸前
感觉爽了？
给我理由，为什么我现在不能杀了你
因为很快又有新的尚·穆迪
或者另一个海伦·宾厄姆
我们是仅存下来知道那个硬盘内容的人
如果我们不能找到它并把它公之于众的话
我们都得死
我是不杀婴儿但是我的那些同事们可不会有同情心
一旦他们找到你和亚历克斯
他们一定会以你想象不到的方式杀了你们
而对于别人你只是就此失踪了而已
现在，亲爱的，我们可以去说正事了吗？
你负责带我们进入这个聚会
我？
我查了一下宴会受邀名单，你的一个同事就在上面
你先给她打个电话
然后出双倍价让她把出场机会让给你
你会说苏格兰口音么？
苏格兰语…哦，很恶心的
那是一个婴儿吗？上帝作证
我已经好多年没见婴儿的血了
算了吧
我- 我可以试试
明白，那是一个婴儿吗？上帝保佑\n我已经好多年没见婴儿的血了
- 是\n- 真不错
嘿，晚上好
伊莎贝拉？
嚯 嚯！
你真漂亮啊搞不好我会爱上你
平时的那个司机莫里斯不错啊，司机，这是通行证
你会说英语么？
喂，你干嘛呢？你停车干嘛？
你常用的那个司机今晚有事不能来
哈？
- 晚上好\n- 你们他妈的到底是…？
能否帮忙开一下车厢，谢谢？
- 好的\n- 是玛费先生吗？
安格斯·蒂龙·登赛尔·玛费
晚上好
- 您多带了一个人，先生\n- 一个婊子还是两个，管那么多？
- 又有什么差别呢？
- 没关系的
您能不能安静一点
走吧，请继续走吧
不要紧张
今晚的故事会很有趣
我没事
走吧
欢迎
- 晚上好\n- 嗯，嗯
检测，检测
- 收到\n- 收到
- 亲爱的，你先\n- 我在楼下和其他司机一起呆着
过去吧
淡定，保持微笑
哇，“圣母颂”，真不错
楼上有三个保安
你确定我们真的能逃得出去么？
没事的
感谢你为我安排这么盛大的宴会
如此盛大，华丽的装扮，还有华服美人
要不要带你参观一下我家？
亲爱的，呃，让人家休息一下，喝点东西
每个人还记得自己分配到的任务吧？
说实话，我有点小害怕
小伙子，淡定点
怎么，呃，真是一个美好的夜晚啊
- 你是苏格兰人？\n- 是啊
难道你听说过爱尔兰黑人吗？我当然是苏格兰人
- 必须的\n- 你看上去不像苏格兰人啊
我看上去不像苏格兰人？
你胆敢这么说？
你都不自己照照镜子看看
你看上去就像个一条腿的癞蛤蟆
不要逼我揍你
要不要把裙子掀起来给你看看我的靴子\n看看黑色的蛇冲你吐舌，嘶嘶嘶
- 再咬你一口…\n- 出了什么事？
- 先生，请您镇定一点\n- 你还想我镇定下来？
不要逼我打架…对我说话的时候看着我的眼睛
不好意思，您不应该到这里来
我要找找那些小姐们，我自己的项链坏了
- 请下楼\n- 能帮我拿一下么？
楼上已经清场完毕
我来了
- 有什么事吗？\n- 不，我没事，不好意思
那就出去
克雷夫在楼下安排了一个小型军队，都有装备，小心点
进来
我有没有打扰到你？
- 丹尼尔，晚上好\n- 海伦
我很高兴你能来参加
我喜欢你的新造型
啊，谢谢
你看上去…真不错
你看上去也很优雅
现在是早上了吗？
不好意思？
我刚刚看到太阳升起的光芒，闪闪发光
我等会儿要介绍一个政治短片，陈辞滥调
- 但是之后，我们可以…\n- 开心开心？
哦，我喜欢，我就喜欢这一套
先生，演说时间到了
答应好了一定等我哦？
记得说那句话
先生们女士们，让我们一起欢迎威廉·克雷夫先生
谢谢
首先，我谨代表我自己以及广大美国公民
感谢高贵的主人借出他们的房子
他们是伊万娜和布兰科·杰维驰
为何我们不为他们鼓鼓掌？
贯穿我在这个国家的访问
感受到了完全的温暖欢迎
大家都将自己所在地的繁荣向我展示了
说到美丽的国家，也许我还不能妄下论断
但是这个国家的女性实在是漂亮的不像话
绝对是喝的水里有什么神药
我不觉得瑞兹维尔做错了什么
不，不，不，鲍勃确实很可爱
- 谢谢你\n- 我的荣幸
- 谁啊？\n- 是我
进来吧
- 这是谁？\n- 我们是一伙的
嘿，一切顺利吗？
都很好
我想你应该替你的下手们
买了很多种基金
如果你能把手头的那些全都转到这个户头的话
我会非常感激
现在，如果我能用的了这个的话
我有一个视频和大家分享一下
- 先生，需要我帮你吗？\n- 这样吗？
- 可以播放了\n- 嗯，挺简单的呢，谢谢
我拿到碟子了，正在去的路上
我要正式说明一下，海伦，干掉你真的不是我的主意
当然不会是
让我看看赚了多少
一千七百多万，哇，太棒了
- 你确定你准备好了吗？\n- 该死的
正如你们大部分人所知道的那样，
我访问了这个国家的各个角落来确保我们两国之间的联盟
反弹道导弹会让我们武力实力增强
我们的东欧盟国的安全和守卫都将上升到新的层面
按拳击规则来？
当然
好的
你在这里干嘛？
换用HSDL语言变换零件线路
如果不能放映1080p的我们就都死定了
明白了？所以，滚出去
我们现在正面对一系列的挑战和威胁
对于这个国家
伊朗的核武器计划将会造成难以预计的危险
预备好的陆基…拦截器…
…会…
会怎样？
你不乖哦
你没有说那句话哦
- 你应该就是雅克维克夫人了\n- 是
真是难以置信我来了这么多次我们却从未见过
这个人究竟是谁？
我是你丈夫众多情人之一
我们来看看，呃
“美国对同盟国的承诺”
那么，这一承诺是否包括各种奸淫谋杀行为呢？
大概布兰科和比尔都是你们的人
- 玩够了吧\n- 不，还没有，还早着呢
家庭影院时间到了哦
快停下！你在干什么？
哦，天呐！
你究竟做了些什么？
萨宾娜！萨宾娜！
快醒醒
- 拿上这个…快点离开\n- 快来人阻止他！
立刻！
你在干嘛？跟我走
喔！
- 你真漂亮\n- 还想来点吗？
任何人不得出入，全部控制住
- 全部控制，明白\n- 好的大家伙儿，该我们出场了，出发，
你要准备一下吗？
住手，举起手来，马上
你他妈是谁？
我是卡佛的下手，你好？
啊，真荣幸见到你
所有人都离开去宴会厅
请离开
走吧，宴会厅，走吧
你们俩，你们俩是怎么掺合进来的？
我们是私人侦探
真不错
这有什么好笑的？兄弟，我们还注册了一个网站的
不要放过所有刚刚看过那个带子的人
啊，没错。所有的那些可怜的人
又是一起暴行，残杀那些无辜的人
你准备用什么来处理？C4炸药？还是HMX爆破炸药？
这是什么，1982？
这是ONC，八硝基立方烷
是目前最强大的非核炸药
方糖大小的分量就可以炸掉一个坦克
哇哦，你一直是这么打算的是吧？
没错，我早就准备好了的
不好意思
先生们女士们，能否注意一下？
现在情形已对我们有利，持枪歹徒在楼上
我们把你们聚集在此以保护你们的安全
我们特地准备了压惊茶
很快问题就会被解决
- 有没有人报警？\n- 没人想吃东西
比尔，等等，你不能这么做
别这样，比尔，我老婆孩子都还在楼下呢
先生，我们该走了
- 照顾好他们\n- 遵命
- 密码设置好了吗？\n- 是的，先生，直接按发送就好
我想炸掉很多东西
除了这些漂亮的妞儿们
你要干嘛？
等等，在把我们全都打死之前
我还有一件事一定要做
趴下！趴下！趴下！
我们有什么应急计划？
我们得立刻把你送上飞机
在私人飞机场那里有一架飞机在等着的
我要着手把这一切全都毁掉
小心一点，从后门出去
我还有点事要去解决
凯特琳娜，拿着这个
- 这是什么？\n- 以备不防之需
对于你的朋友，我很抱歉
那是我的工作
我已经麻木了
帮我照顾好我妈，可以么？
上帝啊
快点，走，走
额滴个神
啊啊啊啊啊！
上帝原谅我
不能连接啊
- 你按了“发送”键么？\n- 嗯，密码已经设置好了
那他妈的到底这玩意儿又出了什么问题？
你还好吧？
我有炸药！退后！快离远一点！
啊，可以了，行了，开始了
- 你搞定了么？\n- 嗯，我们走吧
- 他妈的怎么回事？\n- 来一壶茶么？
你要准备一下么？
靠
我其实已经开始喜欢上她了
她很酷，酷毙了的杀手
下午好，我们是朱- 安私人侦探事务所
能不能请你等一下？
小强奇迹般地成功移植成功了白人妹妹的手臂\n还撸的他挺爽…
杰弗里·利兹
朱安侦探事务所\n业内做的名声大噪之后他俩策划搞一个相亲服务- “非诚勿扰”
看那个，我上新闻了
喂，亲爱的，怎么样？
嗨
哈，我们又上电视了
- 朱利安又说了什么傻话么？\n- 我还不知道呢，你怎么样？
挺好的，我找到了一个超赞的房子
凯特琳娜怀上了安东尼的小天使\n他们给她取名“海伦”
你下个星期再过来？
嗯，飞机11点到
安东尼现在是网络美食秀的明星\n“火线食神”
我得走了，朱利安开始在电视上说话了，周五见
- 我爱你\n- 我也爱你，再见
怎么样了？你都说了些什么？
嘿，看看这个
看上去不错，很精英的样子
我总是很精英的啦
哦，快看，快看
你还是不是很上相诶
保安录像上朱利安的苏格兰短裙舞的短片在Youtobe上火到不行\n他现在是瑞典一家阴茎增大器的天价广告代言
- 挺帅的啊\n- 你应该对着她说话
- …在www…\n- 真是骇人听闻的故事
用新闻打广告是不是有点市侩啊
你得趁热打铁，抓紧时间，及时行乐
懂不懂？要抓住有利时机
海伦·宾厄姆\n据说有人在哥伦比亚的卡塔赫纳看到她在逛一家刀具店\n当然，只是传说而已…
TLF字幕组欢迎你，欢迎有志之士加入\nTLF中文字幕站 http://tlfsubs.eastgame.org/
@TLF字幕组
\n\nThank you.
\n\nWelcome.
\n\nWell, thank you.
\n\nUp the stairs, ma'am.
\n\n- Come on, let's go.\n- I'm coming.
\n\nGood evening, ladies.
\n\nPurses.
\n\nGood evening. Can you\nopen your jacket, please?
\n\nExcuse me!
\n\nFollow me.
\n\nWhy all the security?
\n\nOK, big boys with the big guns,
\n\n- I feel protected.\n- They are not here to protect us.
\n\nI have a bad feeling about this.
\n\nCat, don't worry.
\n\nYeah, but just stay safe, OK?
\n\nYes, don't worry about me.
\n\nGoddamn. They're having a fun night.
\n\nCheck it out.
\n\nAre you crazy?
\n\nOoh, I like the chick in the back,\nthe blonde one.
\n\nYeah. Do you think\nshe's got her real tits?
\n\nJakovic, hi. I owe you, pal.
\n\nSee you.
\n\nNo, no, no, thank you.
\n\nCome on!
\n\nTake that!
\n\nOh-ho! That's good.
\n\nThat's really good.
\n\nI'm going to take this off.
\n\nTake it off. Who wants to\nfuck a big, fat American?
\n\n- I want to fuck.\n- You do?
\n\nDo you know each other?
\n\n- No.\n- Well, you will soon.
\n\n- Hi, I'm Lela.\n- Cat. Nice to meet you.
\n\n- Nice to meet you.\n- Nice to meet you.
\n\nSava. Come, come.
\n\nCome.
\n\n- Please, please.\n- (SERBO-CROATIAN) Anthony, very full.
\n\n(SERBO-CROATIAN)\nSava, how can you sell the food
\n\nif you don't know what it tastes like?
\n\n(SERBO-CROATIAN)\nMy stomach, its very...
\n\nFull, I know.
\n\nYou and you and me...
\n\n- What? What the fuck?\n- What are you doing here?!
\n\nJesus Christ! What are you...?
\n\nJesus! You're wet.
\n\n- Why are you here?\n- I came to see my best friend.
\n\n- Meet my ladies.\n- Oh, Jesus Christ.
\n\n- This is, er, Eva?\n- Jieva.
\n\n- Jieva.\n- Mm-hm.
\n\n- And this is Natsuya?\n- Nastasya.
\n\n- N-Nastasya.\n- Nastasya, yes.
\n\nUh-uh. It doesn't matter.\nYeah, yeah.
\n\nThis is my oldest friend, Anthony.
\n\nHow are you doing? Hi.
\n\nI saved him from\nmany brutal beat-downs.
\n\nHey!
\n\nIt's true.
\n\nHow beautiful are they?\nLook at that.
\n\n- You need a place to stay?\n- No, I got a spot down the street.
\n\nThey laid it out, flat screen TV,\nsatellite dish,
\n\nminibar, got 950 channels.
\n\n- I'm watching the game.\n- No, you didn't.
\n\n- What you talking about?\n- It's bullshit.
\n\nYesterday was the tenth.\nNo international travel.
\n\nIt's now 3.27,\nit means you got in around 2pm,
\n\nwhich makes it the British Air\n9.15 from Philly.
\n\nUnless you're giving hand jobs\nto LeBron,
\n\nno way you saw a basketball player.
\n\nThere's three channels only so...
\n\n- OK.\n- You need a place to stay.
\n\nI said they could stay with us.
\n\n- They can't.\n- You got a girlfriend?
\n\n- No, but you do.\n- You do?
\n\n- You have a girlfriend?\n- What happened was...
\n\nWhat happened with Stephanie?
\n\nI've been promoted, so I'm moving to\nCalifornia. The movers come tomorrow.
\n\nI want you and your shit out of here.\nHere, 300 bucks.
\n\n- Good luck.\n- You're paying me to move?
\n\nBut deep down, I think she loves me.
\n\nYou can stay on my couch,\nhelp with the restaurant.
\n\n- Get these girls a cab.\n- You'd take away my hoasis?
\n\nCome on, you're going to help\nme cook. Make something good.
\n\nThey need to help me cook, too.
\n\nI'm right up here.
\n\nSo? You like it?
\n\nYeah.\nYou want me to be straight up?
\n\nOK, fuck it. Go next door and eat yak\nbutter and deep-fried Twinkies.
\n\nNo, no, no, no! Let me finish this.
\n\nI'm just saying, maybe\nthe restaurant business isn't for you.
\n\nIt's a people-pleasing thing and\nyou're not a people-pleasing person.
\n\nSo what do I do, man, huh?\nYou tell me.
\n\nI should serve hotpockets and\nChef Boyardee like the rest?
\n\nTo win paying customers, yes.
\n\n- Hey, I've got to drop this deuce.\n- Go.
\n\nWhere's the bathroom?\nI'm just playing.
\n\nI'm going to take a leak real quick.
\n\n(SPEAKS SERBO-CROATIAN)
\n\nWhoa!
\n\nMay I please use your phone?
\n\nYeah, it's right back there\non the right.
\n\nOK.
\n\nEr, wait, you want maybe a drink?
\n\nA little wine? Something to eat?
\n\nRain check.
\n\nOh, my gosh.
\n\n(SPEAKS GERMAN)
\n\nHello?
\n\nRyder, it's me, Cat.
\n\n- What the fuck did you do?\n- Me? I survived, that's what I did.
\n\n- They said there was an accident.\n- Their guns went off
\n\nmultiple times\nand shot all the multiple girls?
\n\nDon't worry, we'll take care of it.\nYou'll be fine.
\n\nI wonder where her baby is.
\n\n- Er, what baby?\n- The little bruise round her pinky.
\n\nWhen my nephew was teething,
\n\nhe'd teeth on her pinky\nand it left a bruise.
\n\nShe wanted a drink\nbut she wouldn't have one.
\n\nAlso, I could be wrong,
\n\nbut, I'm looking at her breasts\nand thinking milk.
\n\nReally? I'm looking at her titties\nand thinking half and half.
\n\n- Where are you?\n- Don't worry.
\n\n- Did you tell them about Alex?\n- Of course not.
\n\nYou're worth more alive\nand on your back.
\n\nThe pants. The pants.
\n\n- (RUSSIAN) Hello?\n- (SERBO-CROATIAN) Grushenka,
\n\nI can't talk long,\nso please listen to me.
\n\nCat, what's going on?
\n\nI need you to watch Alex\na little longer.
\n\nI'll be back as soon\nas I can get across the border.
\n\nWhere are you Cat?\nIs everything OK?
\n\nJust tell me what's wrong.\nYou're scaring me, Cat.
\n\n- Sabina is dead.\n- What?
\n\n- Sabina is dead.\n- Sabina is dead?
\n\nHere comes the action, man.\nCheck it out.
\n\nOoh, you like that, huh?
\n\n- The safety word is "toast"?\n- Toast, yes.
\n\n(SERBO-CROATIAN)\nGrushenka, please...
\n\nWe'll cry about her later. Not now.
\n\nYou're gonna scare Alex.
\n\nCan you put him\non the phone?
\n\n(SPANISH) Hello, baby... it's mommy.
\n\nI miss you so much.\nI love you very much.
\n\nBaby, I love you so much.\nI miss you so much.
\n\nHere she comes.\nDon't say nothing.
\n\nThank you very much.
\n\n- You are so nice and handsome.\n- Oh, you, too.
\n\n- Bye.\n- Bye.
\n\nDid you see the munk?
\n\nFun fact. I don't trust her.
\n\nWhat,\ncos she didn't eat your food?
\n\nNot just that.\nShe's about to take my car.
\n\nAll the bending over\nwas a subterfuge
\n\nto sleight of hand my keys.
\n\n- She also took your phone.\n- What?!
\n\nCome on!
\n\nQuick! Come on, man.
\n\nHey, hold on! Hey!
\n\nLady, open the door.\nYou've got my phone.
\n\nCome on. El ni?o loco.\nWhat are you doing?
\n\nI just want my phone.\nMy momma bought me that phone.
\n\nCome on, I've got numbers.\nCome on.
\n\nMiss, could you please steal\nsomeone else's car?
\n\nDon't drive off with my phone!\nHey!
\n\nLady! Hey! I'm gonna call the cops!
\n\nMan, shit!
\n\nYou're gonna let her\nsteal your car like that?
\n\nShe must really need it.
\n\n"She... She must really need it?"
\n\nI must really need my phone!
\n\n- How far is your place?\n- 15 minutes away.
\n\nYou said that 15 minutes ago.
\n\nAnthony, you don't think
\n\nmy business ideas\nhave been unsuccessful, do you?
\n\nCompared to what?
\n\nSome have been\nvery, er, interesting.
\n\nIt's not how good you are,\nit's how good you wanna be.
\n\n- I guess so.\n- I got an idea.
\n\nWhat you got?
\n\n- OK, it's a lot of money.\n- Ah, this is a good story.
\n\n- We'll make a lot.\n- Sounds interesting.
\n\n(SERBO-CROATIAN)\nI need a one-way ticket to Treviso.
\n\n(SERBO-CROATIAN) One moment.
\n\nYou want to set up\na detective agency?
\n\nI want us\nto set up a detective agency.
\n\nYou've been through a lot.
\n\n- No, this guy Gerry told me...\n- Who the helI's Gerry?
\n\nYou know Gerry.\nHe comes on late night.
\n\nIs your spouse cheating on you?
\n\nDo you want to find a loved one?
\n\nIf you can't catch them,\nKech can.
\n\nLicensed private investigators.
\n\nHe charges $400\nplus expenses.
\n\nDude, trust me.\nThese guys eat well, they tip well.
\n\nYou know chicks love that.
\n\nAnd we have one clear advantage.
\n\n- What's that?\n- We have nothing better to do.
\n\nListen, we'd need an office,\nexperience...
\n\n- "We?"\n- ..equipment, all kinds of capital.
\n\n- You said "we".\n- No, absolutely not.
\n\nTen, twenty grand for start-up\ncosts.
\n\nI don't have money.
\n\n- What about the trust fund?\n- Absolutely not.
\n\nI'm trying hard\nto keep my family out of my life.
\n\n- At least you have a family.\n- Stop it.
\n\nI was raised by African fruit bats.
\n\nDon't play\nthe African fruit bat card.
\n\nCan I play the best friend card?
\n\nln ninth grade, you helped the Dean's\nwife find her husband's diary.
\n\nThen she shot him in the face.
\n\n- So the answer's no?\n- I'm in Eastern fucking Europe.
\n\nI left the States three years ago,\nwhich was your idea.
\n\nI remember.
\n\nIt was to get away from my family.
\n\nWhy? Because I like to cook.\nAnd be alone. That's it.
\n\nWell, you got your wishes.
\n\nNobody comes to the restaurant\nto eat.
\n\nJust wish to never get laid\nand all three wishes will be up.
\n\nAnthony?
\n\nMm?
\n\nCan I get a glass of water?
\n\nNo, you're gonna piss on my couch.
\n\nI know I told you\nto get away from your family,
\n\ngo travel, live your life,
\n\nbut you're here\njust hiding from the world, man.
\n\nI need you in on this.\nAnd you need to live your life.
\n\nSo, you in on this, man?
\n\nYou going to get with me?\nCome on, man, be a dick.
\n\nAll right.
\n\nIf it doesn't work,\nyou're waiting tables.
\n\n- We're gonna do this?\n- I'm with you.
\n\n- We can! Yes, we can!\n- We'll try.
\n\nCome on, you feel me!\nMy boy! Bros before hos.
\n\n- I don't have any hos.\n- That's on my list.
\n\nYou gonna get some hos.
\n\nIt's, er, wait.
\n\n"Bonjour". It's right here.\nCome on, here we go.
\n\nThis is it.
\n\nOh, yes!
\n\nYes! Dude, that's Santa Claus.
\n\nThey're showing\nChristmas movies.
\n\nA porno theatre.\nOur office is in a porno theatre.
\n\nDude, you think Ben and Jerry\nstarted in a high rise creamery?
\n\nNo, not at all. They had\none big spoon, one bucket,
\n\nin the back of a VW van,\ncreaming in their pants.
\n\nGround up, Anthony, ground up.
\n\n(SERBO-CROATIAN)\nHey, you wanna watch the movie,
\n\nyou need to buy a ticket.
\n\nEr, let's see.
\n\nWe're looking for a... Boden.
\n\nAh, Boda? It's me.
\n\nCome on, guys, come on.
\n\nThis is your office.\nYou make here much money.
\n\nYou have all you need here.\nBig desk, free porno.
\n\nCareful, careful. Boards rotten.
\n\nHere, you can put the papers.
\n\nAnd this is very important place.
\n\nYou can wash here or piss here.
\n\nEverybody must piss, yes.
\n\n500 of month, but, er,\nfor you, because I like your face,
\n\nI give to you for four, OK?
\n\nWe'll take it.
\n\nGood guys.
\n\n- Yes.\n- Come on, pay him.
\n\n- Er, yes, come on.\n- You ready to wait tables?
\n\nGround up, ground up.
\n\n- You make here big success.\n- Ah.
\n\n- Enjoy.\n- Thank you.
\n\nSo we have\nan uninhabitable hovel
\n\noverlooking\na Santa Claus snuff film.
\n\nWhat's next?
\n\nStaff.
\n\nYou know,\nI was in Army language school.
\n\nI speak five different languages.
\n\n- Um, do you mind if we ask, Mr...\n- Call me Dexter.
\n\nOK, er, Dexter, um, how did you...?
\n\nWell, I mean,\nwere you born like this?
\n\n- He was in the Army.\n- Oh. Oh, no.
\n\nShortly after I was discharged,
\n\nmy wife and I\nwere vacationing in Florida,
\n\nand we were involved\nin a shark attack.
\n\nUm, so that's how you lost...?
\n\n- Oh, no, shark ate my wife.\n- Oh, God.
\n\nHave you ever seen somebody\nyou love eaten alive slowly,
\n\none bite at a time?
\n\nEr, he didn't eat her whole?
\n\nOh, they found her hole. And\na piece of her ass on the beach.
\n\nJust an empty thong\nand a broken dream.
\n\nYou know,\nthat hits you kinda hard.
\n\nI started drinking\nand using intravenous drugs.
\n\nLost my arm through\nan abscess caused by a dirty needle.
\n\nI reached rock bottom\nabout five years ago.
\n\nI was living on the streets\nand begging and eating pet food.
\n\nFinally, I just threw myself\nunder a subway train,
\n\nand landed on the rails,\nand well, that train just, whoosh!
\n\nPopped my legs clean off.
\n\nWell, listen,\nyou seem remarkably positive.
\n\nI thank God every day\nfor what happened to me.
\n\nYou know, my accident,\nwell, it brought me to the Lord.
\n\nI stopped drinking and drugging.
\n\nI promised myself\nthat I would make the most
\n\nout of every single opportunity\nthat life afforded me.
\n\nOK, well, I guess, um,
\n\npractically speaking, could you\nfill some of the requirements?
\n\nYou see that phone over there?
\n\nRing! Ring!
\n\n(FORElGN LANGUAGE)
\n\nAnd I make\na great cup of coffee, too.
\n\nWell, when can you start?
\n\nGive me a little nub.
\n\nHello?
\n\nDaniel Carver? This is Cat.
\n\nCat, where are you?\nI'm so glad you're alive.
\n\n- How did you get my number?\n- I copied Ryder's address book.
\n\nHow very industrious.\nSo what is this about?
\n\nWanted to touch base?
\n\nI have your hard drive, OK?
\n\nIf you don't call off your dogs,
\n\nthat movie of your boss will be
\n\nthe most-watched video\non YouTube.
\n\nTurn off the fucking music!
\n\nOh!
\n\nYou can't get anything\noff that hard drive.
\n\nIt's got military encryption.
\n\nIt's gonna purge itself like\na Russian farm worker on Easter.
\n\nI took it to an expert.\nHe figured it out.
\n\nNever lie to grown-ups.
\n\nI'm old enough\nto be your sugar daddy.
\n\nAnd I'll find you.\nI'll find you by the pm.
\n\nFuck.
\n\n(SERBO-CROATIAN) I found a car.\nSomeone left it on the street.
\n\nI could get 300 - 400 Euros for it,\nI'm sure.
\n\nI don't know whose it is, don't care.
\n\nAway! Away from the car!\nAway, you dirty shit!
\n\nI said get away from the car!
\n\nGet away from the car
\n\n(SPEAKS IN SERBO CROATIAN)
\n\nWhat? What did you do?\nAre you crazy?
\n\n- You stupid fuck.\n- You said to kill the driver.
\n\nNo said boy or girl.
\n\n- You killed a cop?\n- Yah.
\n\nYou won't get paid for this.\nFuckers!
\n\nShoot him.
\n\nOK, now I'm really\nannoyed with you, princess.
\n\nIt's time to bring in a professional.
\n\nPlan B. As in Bingham.
\n\n- Good to see you, Helen.\n- Thanks for thinking of me.
\n\nI'm always thinking of you.
\n\n- How's Maria?\n- She's fine.
\n\nAnd Eliska?\nWhat is she now? Three?
\n\n- Three and a half.\n- How lovely.
\n\nYou know Razwell?
\n\nOf course,\nsince he was in short pants.
\n\nHello, Helen.
\n\nOh, still using\nAcqua di Parma, Bob?
\n\nOld habits die hard.
\n\nA real man never changes\nhis cologne. Shall we?
\n\nThe hard drive\nhas a level-five encryption.
\n\nShe won't be able\nto get anything out of it.
\n\nAnd yet, you'll pay top euro\nto get it back.
\n\nWhat's on the hard drive, Daniel?
\n\n- Baby pictures.\n- Hm.
\n\nThat's need-to-know, Helen.\nTrust me, you don't need to know.
\n\nAnd the girl?\nWhat do we know about her?
\n\nBob?
\n\nThank you.
\n\nHer name is Catalina Rona,\nalso answers to Cat.
\n\nLeft her rustic, rural homeland\nof Andorra looking for work,
\n\nand found her true calling\nsprawling and balling.
\n\nOh, my goodness.
\n\nWhat else do we know?
\n\n- Well, we know she's smart.\n- And how do we know that?
\n\n- Because she's still breathing.\n- Ah.
\n\nAnd those other girls, the ones who\nweren't as smart as Catalina?
\n\nWhat are your plans for them?
\n\nCar crash, drug paraphernalia,\nbodies burned up, local cops.
\n\nThe chief is on my payroll.
\n\nDear me. Pull!
\n\nI thought you boys\nwere all about change.
\n\nOh, we have changed.
\n\nWe used to be\nreally cold and ruthless. Pull.
\n\n(SPANISH)\nDo you need a hand with that?
\n\n(SPANISH)\nNo, no!
\n\nOh, I think you do.
\n\n(SPEAKS IN FORElGN LANGUAGE)
\n\n(SHOUTS IN FORElGN LANGUAGE)
\n\nMr Rona?
\n\nMr Rona,\nI want to assure you, Mr Rona,
\n\nthat we're just as concerned
\n\nabout Catalina's disappearance\nas you are.
\n\nOh, yes? That mean\nyou're not much concerned.
\n\nYou're not worried\nabout your daughter?
\n\nWhat to worry? I never see her.\nAnd she never gives me a dime.
\n\nShe fuck and make big money,\nbut none for Papa.
\n\n- (SPANISH) Who's the bitch?\n- (SPANISH) She is from the police.
\n\n(SPANISH) Her name is Virginia Wolf.\n(ENGLISH) This is my boy son.
\n\nHow lovely to meet you.\nDo you happen to know
\n\nwhere your girl sister is?
\n\n- I know nothing.\n- lmagine that.
\n\nIf you do happen to hear anything,
\n\nI would most appreciate it\nif you'd give me a call.
\n\n(SPANISH) Why is she wasting her time\nlooking for my sister?
\n\nShe won't hide long.\nShe's got a kid.
\n\nAh. Si? Gracias.
\n\nHold it.
\n\nOoh, we need an elevator.\nAll these damn stairs.
\n\n- Hey, sorry I'm late.\n- Late for what?
\n\nDexter Wolf, any, er, messages?
\n\nEr, Boda called,
\n\nand he said that Swedish\npenis pump you ordered,
\n\nhe's going to deliver it\nin a discreet package.
\n\nEr, I meant, like business messages.
\n\n- Am I paying for your porn?\n- No, man, I didn't even order that.
\n\nI'm a victim of identity theft.
\n\nAnyways, man, I got some new\nbusiness cards and cell phones.
\n\n- Here, check it out.\n- Let's see.
\n\n"Looking for a good dick?\nCall the Juan Detective Agency."
\n\n- Who's Juan?\n- No, no, no, no. It's "Ju-An".
\n\nIt's a cross,\nlike a mix with our names,
\n\nJulian and Anthony. Ju-An.\nYou feel me?
\n\n- Why's your name first?\n- Anju sounds like a law firm.
\n\nYou know,\nGoldman Goldman Sachs Anju.
\n\nI mean, if you don't like it,
\n\nI can go back\nand maybe reprint something.
\n\nIs this your only objection?\nAre we doing this?
\n\nYes!
\n\nCheck this out.
\n\nWhat the hell does that say?
\n\nThat's the girl from the restaurant.
\n\nFather's looking for his missing\ndaughter. She's our first case.
\n\nThe next ferry to Bari, ltaly\nleaves in eight minutes.
\n\nPlease board now.
\n\nThis is the last call\nfor the ferry to Bari, ltaly,
\n\nleaving in eight minutes.
\n\nPlease board now.
\n\nCome on, wake up, honey.
\n\nOw.
\n\nWhere are we?
\n\nAncona, ltaly.
\n\nOh, I fell asleep.
\n\nGood. Now you can go all night.
\n\n- You wanted it!\n- What happened?
\n\nIt was an accident.\nI didn't do anything.
\n\n- Go.\n- It was an accident.
\n\nGo. Go.
\n\nTheir safety\nis our number one priority.
\n\nSafety.
\n\n- What the fuck?\n- We are not in ltaly.
\n\nWe couldn't.\nThere were too many cops.
\n\nThey were looking in the trunks\nof the cars. We'll go tomorrow.
\n\nWe'll spend the night here\nand go tomorrow. I promise.
\n\n- It'll be completely all right.\n- I don't think so.
\n\nYour dream girI's getting famous.
\n\nFather's upset his baby\ndidn't come home for supper.
\n\n- Is that objectionable?\n- It's bullshit.
\n\nShe's not a girl\nwho comes home for supper
\n\nand why would this\nmake the headlines?
\n\nWhich leads us to conclude what?
\n\nSome hard, bad people,\nconnected and respected are fronting
\n\nand want her found\nbefore she can make a sound.
\n\nOh, MC Dr Seuss, kicking rhymes!
\n\nI'm just saying,\nsomething is not right.
\n\nA bunch of stuff ain't right.\nand you suddenly care?
\n\nI'm just curious, that's all.
\n\nI knew it! You want to\nhave sex with her, don't you?
\n\n- What are you saying?\n- You want to hit that.
\n\nIt's cool by me.\nIt's our first case.
\n\nCome on, let's catch our train.\nCome on.
\n\n- Mr Ryder? Good afternoon.\n- You work for Carver?
\n\n- I do.\n- You got answers about my girls?
\n\nI was hoping you could\nhelp me on that score.
\n\nYou see,\none of your girls, Catalina,
\n\nhas stolen something\nfrom my employer.
\n\nI need to know if you've heard\nfrom her and where she is.
\n\nI don't know\nwhere that scheiss bitch is.
\n\nWhere the fuck are the others?\nDebbie, Susie, Bubbles, Sabina?
\n\nI'm afraid I have no idea.
\n\nThen we've both got\nno fucking idea.
\n\nWell, perhaps you could tell me\nwho Catalina left her baby with?
\n\nLady, look at you. You come in\nhere, Mary fucking Poppins.
\n\nYou've got a brass pussy,\nbut no offense, get fucked, mama.
\n\nOh, I'm not your mama, I'm afraid.
\n\nI would love to have\na son like you,
\n\nbut no such luck, poor old me.
\n\nAnd your real mother, didn't she\nteach you it's rude to point?
\n\nThe only thing my mother taught\nme was how to take a punch
\n\nand to cook up base.
\n\nShe taught my sister to suck dick
\n\n- and take it up the ass.\n- My goodness.
\n\nHans,\nshow Mary Poppins the way out.
\n\nIf you'd been closer to your mother,\nshe might have taught you manners.
\n\nFor instance, when a lady enters\nthe room, it is polite to stand up.
\n\nDo you think you could\nstand up for me now, Mr Ryder?
\n\nLady, I swear,\nI don't know where she is,
\n\nCat or her fucking baby.
\n\nYou can sit down now.
\n\nAh! God!
\n\nAre you crazy?
\n\nGod! OK, OK, OK.\nI'll tell you all I know.
\n\nHmm, well, unfortunately, with\na man of your low character -
\n\nand I don't mean to insult you
\n\nbut you were brought up by a sodomy-\nand fellatio-tutoring crack addict -
\n\nthere's the possibility\nthat you might lie.
\n\nLady, you got to trust me.
\n\nWell, that's one option.
\n\nOh, no, no, no, lady!
\n\nMr Carver? Officer Slobodan.
\n\nWe have two young males.
\n\nOK. Pictures coming right up.
\n\n- We're gonna find your daughter.\n- Politsia? Hah! They find nothing.
\n\nI agree with you wholeheartedly.
\n\nThat's why you need\nprofessionals like us.
\n\nWe handle, er, how many cases\non the books, Anthony?
\n\n- One.\n- Too many to count, really.
\n\nBut we really feel that\nwe can find your daughter.
\n\n- Find her?\n- Yes.
\n\nWho says Catalina disappear?\nLike I already told woman.
\n\nWhat woman?
\n\nWoman policeman.\nName Virgin Woolf. Very nice.
\n\nI say my daughter never home.\nTakes after mother.
\n\nAll I have is broken condom\nthat turns into son here.
\n\nHey! Hey!
\n\nSo how much money\nwe talk about?
\n\nEr, not very much money.
\n\nOur fee is $400 a day\nplus expenses.
\n\nAnd we'd need a $2,000 retainer.
\n\nHow about 100 euros?
\n\nWhat, a day?
\n\nNo, the whole thing.
\n\nGive me 100 euros,\nI can help you find sister.
\n\nWhen she first start\nfucking for money,
\n\nI drive her a little bit\nfor, how you say, protection.
\n\nI could show you where I took her.
\n\nHer favourite client.\nMaybe he knows where she is.
\n\nLook, the way this works\nis that you would actually pay us...
\n\n- Here, take it.\n- What are you doing?
\n\n- You have a car?\n- You just paid him.
\n\nWe could have got the retainer.\nWhat are you doing, man?
\n\nI think\nPinocchio needs his nose clipped.
\n\nOh, God!
\n\nAnd this will teach this little piggy\nnot to point.
\n\nThat car is tailing us.\nIt has been since the pig farm.
\n\nThey were snapping shots\nof us.
\n\nUh-oh. It could be the cops.
\n\nWhoop whoop-whoop whoop.
\n\n- Do you want me to lose them?\n- Yes, I do.
\n\nOK, why are we going off the road?
\n\n- Tree!\n- Left, left, left!
\n\nI think I peed a little bit.
\n\nShit.
\n\n- Oh, damn, you all right?\n- Yeah. You?
\n\nYeah.
\n\nYo, where's your boy at?
\n\n- Oh, man, he look dead.\n- You OK?
\n\nCome on, man.
\n\nShoulda wore that belt.
\n\nCome on, man. You all right?
\n\nYou need a doctor.\nWe'll take a taxi.
\n\nHello?
\n\nThe fish that got away.\nHas it been fried yet?
\n\nEr, don't worry.
\n\nWe've got the borders sealed.
\n\nShe'll hardly go to the police,\nthough we have friends there.
\n\nI'm not worried about the police.
\n\nYou may be able to get away with\nburying 5,000 people in a mass grave
\n\nbut in America, a hint of scandal\nand the Senate will be up my ass.
\n\nIf I see that girl on TV in anything\nother than a body bag,
\n\nthe closest you'll get\nto a missile contract
\n\nis reading about them\nin the newspaper.
\n\n- Jesus, Bill, it wasn't me who...\n- Don't Jesus Bill me.
\n\n- Just find the girl.\n- It's being done. Trust me.
\n\nCarver's got his best man on it.
\n\nWell, I believe you now, Mr Ryder.
\n\nYou really don't have\nany additional information for me.
\n\nI apologise for\ntaking up your morning,
\n\nbut I'm sure you appreciate\nthe value of being thorough.
\n\nA job worth doing\nis worth doing well,
\n\nas my dear old mum used to say.
\n\nKill me.
\n\nOoh, now.\nWhat's the magic word?
\n\nPlease. Kill me.
\n\n- Fucking bitch.\n- That's the one.
\n\nWell, I'll say goodbye to you, sir.
\n\nNow, do you need a moment?
\n\nAnthony Hester and Julian Simms,\nAmerican nationals.
\n\nWhen Cat called you, that was from\nJulian's cell and Anthony's car.
\n\n- Why they are talking to the family?\n- They're private detectives.
\n\n- Working for who?\n- We don't know.
\n\nBut Julian gave 100 euros\nto the brother.
\n\n- Is that a problem for us?\n- Maybe.
\n\nWant me to ring the bank?
\n\nNo, no,\nwe'll deal with it ourselves.
\n\nBonjour, comment ?a va?
\n\nBonjour, mademoiselles.
\n\nEr, où est...
\n\nRue de Bon? Rue de Bun?
\n\nWe're looking for Rudible. Ladies,\nyou wanna help us out? S'il vous pla?t?
\n\nYou saw the high scarf?
\n\nThose weren't words you said.
\n\nYou wanna deal with girls or you\nwanna start a detective agency?
\n\nI wanna do both.
\n\nYou need to focus\non finding Catalina, I think
\n\nOh! Anthony\nand Catalina sitting in a tree...
\n\nThere is no-one like her\nto draw venom from my serpent.
\n\nMore sweetly than any other one.
\n\nSo, you're saying,\nas a blowjob provider,
\n\nCat's head and shoulders\nabove the rest?
\n\n"A blowjob provider"?
\n\nThat would be like calling\nCaravaggio a house painter.
\n\nGentlemen, would you like\nsome tea? Chamomile.
\n\nSure, I'll have a cup.
\n\nYou are not to be\neasily shocked, are you?
\n\n- No, no.\n- Us? No, go on.
\n\nCat produced from me\na jet of semen,
\n\nwhich travelled some 1 1 feet.
\n\nIt was like the salty exhale\nof the great white whale
\n\nin Melville's classic tome.
\n\nLet me show you something.
\n\nThis is a mark here she leaves.
\n\n"Le plaisir de Cat".
\n\nWow. From the windows\nto the walls. That's nice shooting.
\n\nlndeed.
\n\nLet me ask you something,\ngentlemen.
\n\nIf I help you find her, will there\nbe any, er, pecuniary rewards?
\n\nI don't want to sound\ntoo bourgeois,
\n\nbut my needs\nare quite varied and exotic.
\n\nWell, the reward will be\nvery large and pecuniary,
\n\nand, er, Catalina's father's\nfilthy rich, he's rolling in it.
\n\nVery well. I obtained her services\nthrough a man named Ryder.
\n\nDo you have a number?
\n\nBetter yet, gentlemen.\nHis address.
\n\n- Hi.\n- Hi.
\n\nOK. It's a level-five encryption.
\n\n- Level-five?\n- Uh-huh.
\n\nWow, that might be a problem.
\n\nIf anyone can do it, you can.\nYou are my little genius.
\n\nThank you. After all these years,\nyou haven't changed.
\n\nI'll bring the hard drive\nand passport to the hotel
\n\nas soon as it's ready.
\n\nYou sure you got the right place?
\n\nIt's the address he wrote down.
\n\n- I didn't sign up for this.\n- It's a little sketchy.
\n\nCan we go back?
\n\nCome on, we're right here.\nYou ready?
\n\nNo.
\n\nWhat kind of pimp doesn't open\nup for a potential doubleheader?
\n\nA dead pimp.
\n\nOh, shit.
\n\nHow bad is it?
\n\nRemember when you started that\nlawn mower with the kittens inside?
\n\n- Yeah.\n- This is much worse.
\n\nOh, damn!
\n\nYou weren't kidding\nabout the dead part.
\n\nAh-Ah! What the hell?
\n\nAre those...? Ahhhh!
\n\nChick who did this\nmust have been pissed.
\n\nWhat, a female did this?
\n\n- I think so.\n- Wanna see what she looks like?
\n\n- That blinking light.\n- Shit!
\n\nSecurity cam. I'm thinking\nit recorded everything.
\n\nOur sick, castrating bitch missed\nit cos it was bright outside.
\n\nCourse, I could be wrong,\nbut I don't think so.
\n\nLook at this lady plying her trade.
\n\nOh, she's plying\nmore than a trade.
\n\nOhhh, God! Ohhhh!
\n\nOh, my God. Is she going for the...
\n\nNot the nuts, not the n-n-n... No!
\n\n..on a houseboat\non the river in ltaly...
\n\n- What? ltaly?\n- .. near Ferrara.
\n\nThe arsehole sold her out!\nHe sold the baby down the river!
\n\n- We should probably warn her.\n- Let me see this.
\n\nEr, Grushenka,\nGrushenka, Grushenka...
\n\n- No Grushenkas here.\n- Look for, er, Agrafena.
\n\n- Agrafena?\n- Grushenka's short for Agrafena.
\n\nGrushenka's longer.
\n\nIt's three syllab...\nJust look for the fucking number.
\n\nIt's like the backwards Ks and Hs.
\n\n- Read The Brothers Karamazov.\n- You just read the Cliff Notes.
\n\nI read it. Look up the number.
\n\nWell, I'll be damned!\nOK, here, you talk to her.
\n\n- Why don't you talk to her?\n- No, dude, I'm nervous.
\n\nMy stomach's bubbling.
\n\n- I get sweaty armpits.\n- Shut the fuck up.
\n\nGrushenka, listen.\nSomeone is coming to kill you.
\n\nA very bad lady\nis coming to kill you.
\n\nGet out now. Someone is coming\nto kill you and the baby.
\n\nShe's speaking Russian.
\n\nWhat? Russian? Oh, let me see.
\n\nYou speak Russian?
\n\nI had a Russian girlfriend once.
\n\n(SHOUTS IN RUSSIAN) Bitch!\nGet the fuck out of here!
\n\n(SHOUTS IN RUSSIAN) I'll kill you!\nI'll kill you!
\n\n(SHOUTS IN RUSSIAN) I'll kill you!\nGet the fuck out of here!
\n\n- (RUSSIAN) Are you threatening me?\n- (RUSSIAN) I'll kill you!
\n\n- You think she understood that?\n- Do you think I did?
\n\nI think we need to\ngo warn her in person.
\n\nI like you very much, young lady.
\n\nYour resilience, and dedication\nto your friend is admirable.
\n\nOh-oh-oh.
\n\nThere we are.
\n\nYou must understand,\nI will find Catalina anyway,
\n\nand then your sacrifice\nand your nobility
\n\nwill all have been in vain.
\n\nOh dear, oh dear.
\n\nDo you see these?
\n\nThese are to remind me\nof courage.
\n\nI had them made from the teeth\nof a young man
\n\nI interrogated in the Yemen.
\n\nHe held out\nfor eight days straight.
\n\nThe last thing he said to me\nbefore he died,
\n\nhaving told us absolutely nothing,\nby the way, was the F word.
\n\nAhh, look who's just woken up.
\n\nHello.
\n\n- (RUSSIAN) Please...\n- Hello! hello, relax.
\n\n(RUSSIAN)\nPlease leave the baby out of this.
\n\nLeave him alone.
\n\n(SPANISH) Hola.\nHow are you, little one?
\n\n(RUSSIAN) Leave him alone!\nPlease let Alex be.
\n\n(SPANISH)\nOh, you like this toy, do you?
\n\n(RUSSIAN)\nWhere is Cat, Grushenka?
\n\nI liked this detective idea\nbut I'm ready to wait tables.
\n\n- We gotta save this girl.\n- You think she's still alive?
\n\nI don't know. I hope so.
\n\n(RUSSIAN) This is morphine.\nIt will make your death painless.
\n\n(RUSSIAN)\nI really don't know where she is.
\n\nShh.
\n\n- I believe you.\n- Please, the baby.
\n\nYes, yes, I'll call the police.\nThey'll take care of him.
\n\nI want you to know\nI would never hurt a tiny baby.
\n\nNot on a Sunday.
\n\nHey! Hey!
\n\nDon't you know how to drive?\nI'm wet, bitch!
\n\n- Hello?\n- Hello, this is Virgin Woolf?
\n\nThis is Virginia Woolf.
\n\nThis is Catalina's father.\nRemember me?
\n\nGood morning, Mr Rona.\nHow may I help you?
\n\nHello?
\n\nOh, God.
\n\nMa'am, are you OK?
\n\nSay something.
\n\n- Come on, I got you.\n- Miss. Hello?
\n\nSplen... Splendid?
\n\nOh, God.
\n\n- What's going on?\n- I think she's dead.
\n\nShe said something like\n"splendid" before...
\n\nJesus. Oh, no.
\n\nI think she meant\nthe Splendid Hotel in Budva.
\n\nThat's probably where Cat is.
\n\nDex, I need tickets to Constalova.\nWe'll staying at the Splendid Hotel.
\n\nAnd send some thermal underwear.
\n\nSo you will buy me a new van?
\n\n- It would be my pleasure.\n- With AC, CD, DVD, and TV?
\n\nFully equipped. What information\ndo you have for me?
\n\nTwo guys came, wanted to know\nabout my daughter.
\n\nAsking many questions.
\n\nHere. They gave card.
\n\nSo, you pay me now?
\n\nOh, yes, I'll pay you now.
\n\nDo you need a moment?
\n\nFor what?
\n\nNo, Ronas, no stay here.
\n\nNo Ronas? OK, see if\nyou have a Cat or a Catalina.
\n\nSir, we have 370 rooms\nand over 1 ,000 guests.
\n\nOK, she's a short girl, 5'4", 5'5",
\n\nlong, dark hair,\nnice low-opening booty.
\n\nGot up-top heavy breasts,\nskimpy dress.
\n\nNo, I'm sorry.
\n\nAll right, well, let me get a room.
\n\nIt is magic convention today.
\n\nI am afraid we have only\nPresidential Suite apartment.
\n\nBut it's much too expensive.\nIt's 2,400 euros.
\n\n- 2,400 euros?\n- Yes.
\n\nOK. You, er,\nyou come with the room?
\n\nNo, I'm sorry.
\n\n- You don't come with the room?\n- No.
\n\nHello?
\n\n- Can I help you?\n- Hello.
\n\nIs this the Juan Detective Agency?
\n\n- It's Ju-An. Come on in.\n- Thank you.
\n\nCan I get you anything?
\n\nWe have a lovely selection\nof herbal teas.
\n\nOr are you just looking for\na good date?
\n\nHow very kind.\nNothing for me, thank you.
\n\nMy name's Emily Bront?.
\n\nI'm from\nthe National Security Agency.
\n\nI believe you're working on a case\nof great importance to us.
\n\nA missing girl. Catalina Rona.
\n\nEmily Bront??
\n\nLike the writer lady?
\n\nDied of, er, TB or some shit?
\n\nWell, yes, as a matter of fact.
\n\nWell, Miss Bront?,\nI can't discuss the case with you.
\n\nYou'll have to\ntalk to my employers.
\n\nWhen might I be able to do that?
\n\nWell, they're in the field,\nso it might be a few days.
\n\nAnd what field might that be?
\n\nWhy don't you\ngive me your number,
\n\nand I'll be happy to pass it on?
\n\nOr you could just\ngive me that note
\n\nthat you slipped into\nthe Gospel of St John.
\n\nYou...
\n\nYou, er,\nyou read that upside down.
\n\nI did.
\n\nYou did.
\n\nOh, Lord.
\n\nOh, damn.
\n\nOh, my goodness.
\n\nOh, put them away.
\n\nSweet baby Jesus.
\n\nNice. Oh!
\n\nOh, king size!\nI got this. I got all this.
\n\nYou make your phone calls.\nI'm going to put him to bed.
\n\nOK, we just need to\nfind your mom, that's all.
\n\nShh, it's all right.
\n\nHi, my name is Julian.\nI'm looking for Cat or Catalina.
\n\nHello? Hello?
\n\nOK, all right.
\n\nLet's take a little look at\nwhat you got here, OK?
\n\nCan you shut the baby up?
\n\nHello? Hi? I'm looking for\na Cat or Catalina.
\n\n- No, no, housekeeping .\n- Oh, I'm sorry, OK.
\n\nWell, yeah, can we get\nmore towels up here, then?
\n\nYes, yes, moment.
\n\nOne new message.
\n\nEr, hi, my name's Julian Simms...
\n\nThere she is. Is that her?
\n\nI recognise that rack.
\n\nHow do I look?
\n\nYou're good, let me see.\nCollar's cool.
\n\nWhat about the 'fro? 'Fro's good?
\n\nThe boats. See her boats?
\n\nGet her number this time.
\n\nCome on. Give him to me.\nGive me my baby.
\n\n- It's OK.\n- Give him to me. Come on.
\n\n(SPEAKS IN SPANISH)
\n\nSit down.
\n\nI have a gun in my bag.
\n\nYou try anything, I swear to God,\nI will shoot you in the balls.
\n\nIt's OK. It's not necessary.
\n\nNot to mention impossible,\nsince you don't really have a gun.
\n\nMan, you could be wrong.
\n\nWho are you guys, hm?
\n\nYou don't recognise us?
\n\n- I stole your car.\n- And my phone.
\n\nWith my ringtones, numbers,\nI had those pictures.
\n\nWhat do you want?
\n\n- What the fuck, man?\n- I know you did not just slap me.
\n\nWe're private investigators.\nYour father hired us to find you.
\n\n- My father?\n- I mean, technically, we're not...
\n\nAh, OK, he's worried about you.
\n\nAll he's worried about is the money\nI stopped sending after Mum died.
\n\nYou all don't get along?
\n\nYou could say that.
\n\nYes! My father and I\nwere the same way.
\n\nHe preferred my brother,\ntake him fishing and stuff.
\n\nMy father beat me with a belt
\n\nand made me sleep in the barn\nwith pigs.
\n\nYes, yours is substantially worse.
\n\n- That's bad. Yeah.\n- Why have you got my son?
\n\n- Agrafena is dead.\n- Who is Agrafena?
\n\n- Grushenka's short for Agrafena.\n- Nobody been reading that book.
\n\n- You gotta get them Cliff Notes.\n- Grushenka's dead?
\n\nYeah. And Ryder.
\n\nDead. Gone, six feet under.
\n\n- He's my pimp.\n- No, not any more.
\n\n- He's pimped out.\n- They tried to kill our assistant,
\n\ncut his fucking arm off.
\n\nWhat kind of person cuts\na one-armed man's only arm off?
\n\nCat, it's the kind of person\nthat cuts someone's balls off.
\n\n- They are going to find you.\n- Find you.
\n\nThey'll chop you up like a tomato.\nWe need to get you out of here.
\n\nNo, I can't. I'm waiting for someone.\nMy room is 432. Meet me there.
\n\nWait. No, I'm gonna go with you.\nGet the check, OK?
\n\nHow you gonna tell ME\nto get the check?
\n\nYou want me to get the check?\nI don't... I didn't order these nuts.
\n\nComing out?
\n\nGoing down?
\n\nYes, please.
\n\n- Um, what floor?\n- Oh, that'll do fine.
\n\nEr, OK.
\n\n- After you.\n- Thank you.
\n\nHelp. She's trying to kill me.
\n\nLook, she's a psychotic killer.\nLook how tall she is!
\n\nWhere's your friend gone\nwith Catalina?
\n\nDamn.
\n\n- Who is it?\n- It's me.
\n\nCome along now, we haven't\ngot all day. Chop chop.
\n\nWhat did you do?\nHow did you bring her here?
\n\nI didn't bring her here.\nShe's got a gun.
\n\nPlease. Please!
\n\nAlone at last.
\n\nNow, would you mind\nclosing those curtains?
\n\nYou have a delectable accent.\nWhere are you from?
\n\n- I'm gonna try something.\n- I'm from Canada.
\n\nI take back all the bad things\nI've ever said about Canadians.
\n\nNow, how are you two involved?
\n\nWe're private detectives.
\n\nI'm sorry.
\n\nWhy does everybody react like that?
\n\n- Who is it?\n- lvan for Cat.
\n\nI'm here for Cat. Is she here?
\n\nDo come in.
\n\nHey, guys, Siegfried is looking for\na new Roy in room 432.
\n\nWow!
\n\nAha. Lovely.
\n\nNow, we're almost done.
\n\n- Ladies first.\n- Please, I have a child.
\n\nOh, my dear Catalina.
\n\nIf I had a shilling for every time\nsomeone said that, I wouldn't be here.
\n\nBut someone else would.
\n\nNow,
\n\ndo you need a moment?
\n\nWait! My partner and I have a DVD
\n\nof you performing surgery,\na cockectomy,
\n\non a dirty pimp,\nwith no medical licence.
\n\nYou could be in a lot of trouble.
\n\nI'm getting old.
\n\nDon't beat yourself up.\nIt was bright outside.
\n\n- You couldn't see the light blink.\n- Where's the tape?
\n\nOh, OK. A question.\nSee? We're starting to negotiate.
\n\nI only need one of you\nto tell me where the tape is.
\n\nI'm beginning to lose my patience.
\n\nI'm looking for Siegfried.\nYou must be his assistant.
\n\nLook.
\n\nCould you excuse me?
\n\nCome on!
\n\nLady, get down!
\n\nln. ln. ln.
\n\nWhat are you doing?\nNo, you're not. Dude.
\n\nOK. OK, this is crazy.
\n\nOh, my God.
\n\nOK, give me the baby.
\n\nOh!
\n\nGive me a second.\nYou don't want to see me naked.
\n\nWhat are you doing? Hurry up!
\n\nOh, God. Shit!
\n\nMan! Help!
\n\nOut the way!
\n\nHey, where are you going?
\n\nOh, good work, Helen.
\n\nThe money will be\nin your account tomorrow.
\n\nWe had a little collateral\nalong the way.
\n\nThat's in the "shit happens" column.
\n\nWho's a good boy?
\n\nMm. So, Daniel, tell me.
\n\nYou didn't know that\nthose two pubescents
\n\n- were playing detective, did you?\n- No, not until you told me.
\n\nThere's no-one else on the job?
\n\nOf course not.
\n\nI know you like to work alone.
\n\nMore than anything.
\n\nMr Jakovic wanted me to extend\nan invite to his fundraising party.
\n\nFor the American\nSecretary of Defense.
\n\nOoh, a posh do. How delicious.
\n\nYou know how I like to dress up.
\n\nHelen, have you ever regretted\nthat you and I...?
\n\nIt's for the best, Daniel.
\n\nWe'll always have Angola.
\n\nWe're bringing someone else in.\nHelen's done with this.
\n\nYeah. We have full containment.
\n\nOK.
\n\n(SERBO-CROATIAN)\nSuch a brave little girl.
\n\nAre you having fun today\nwith your daddy?
\n\nHelen was a good soldier.
\n\nThe best. An army of one.
\n\nDo you think she took a peek\nat the hard drive?
\n\nProbably not.
\n\nBut I couldn't take that risk.
\n\nIt's all right, Bob.
\n\nOld soldiers never die.
\n\nThey just get blown away.
\n\n(SPEAKS IN SERBO-CROATIAN)
\n\nHello, Bob.\nTell her you'll call her back.
\n\n(SPEAKS IN SERBO-CROATIAN)
\n\nDo get in.
\n\nA nod to the wise, my dear.
\n\nYou only need a little dab of\nAcqua di Parma behind each ear.
\n\nAnd I gave up on\nthose old trip switches years ago.
\n\nTen-second delay. Tut tut.\nDear, oh dear.
\n\nNow, all you need to do\nis answer one or two questions,
\n\nand we can wrap this up.
\n\nOtherwise, I have\na lovely soundproof basement.
\n\nI can rig up a saline drip,
\n\nand we can make it last a\ncouple of crispy, crunchy weeks.
\n\nAnd after that, I'll go and find\nthat lovely daughter of yours, in...
\n\nWhere is she? Lupiana?
\n\nPlease don't hurt her.
\n\nWho's replacing me?
\n\nSean Moody.
\n\nAh, my favourite Scotsman.\nIs he in town?
\n\nHe's at the Hotel Riviera.
\n\nMarvellous. Thank you so much.
\n\nIt was nothing personal, Helen.
\n\nOh, no, of course not.\nI always liked you, Bob.
\n\nNow, do you need a moment?
\n\nLook at you, sweetheart.
\n\nYou are a wee fucking ride,\nso you are.
\n\nFucking hell, man.
\n\nOh, man.
\n\nOh, I'm a big man, huh?
\n\nLook at that fella.\nYou could cut diamonds with that.
\n\nFuck. Who the fuck is this?
\n\n- Hello?\n- It's Carver.
\n\n- What?\n- Carver. We found the girl.
\n\nAye, hang on, hang on,\nlet me get a fucking pen.
\n\nAnthony.
\n\nCan you take him, please?
\n\nYeah.
\n\nOK.
\n\nYou smell good.
\n\nWe found her.
\n\nYou see\nhow many people there are?
\n\nOf all those people,\nwe found your mom.
\n\nEverything's OK on the bed.
\n\nAre you going to do\ngymnastics for me?
\n\nYeah? Side, side.
\n\nA little breakdance.
\n\nYeah!
\n\nChook, chook! Take my nose.
\n\nI don't need it.\nI've smelled enough stuff.
\n\nGo on, take it, take it.
\n\nI know, I know.
\n\nHe was asking for you.
\n\n- Oh, yeah?\n- Yeah, he's very impatient.
\n\n(SPEAKS IN SPANISH)
\n\nThis one, this one, this one.
\n\nHow many words do you think\nyou'll be able to say...?
\n\nThank you.
\n\nYou're welcome.
\n\nLow fucking profile?\nUnder fucking cover?
\n\nWhat the fuck\ndo you call this thing?
\n\n- Mr Moody, right?\n- That's me, pal.
\n\nWhat's happening?
\n\nThey've been in hotel room 502\nfor the past three hours.
\n\nListen, Mr Moody, all due respect,\nbut why we not coming with you?
\n\nI mean, we follow them for days.
\n\nWhy are we cut out now, man?
\n\nCos you're a couple of\nfucking ball-bag cunts.
\n\nWhat'd your boss tell you?
\n\nWell, um, he told us that\nyou are some terrorism specialist
\n\nand you have to handle this alone,\nbut...
\n\nWell, there you go.\nDo us a wee favour.
\n\nSit here, eat your sweeties,\njerk off in your coffee cup,
\n\nand shut your fucking mouth,\nyou ethnic-cleansing pricks.
\n\nI like this guy!
\n\nShh.
\n\nNae cunt fucking moves.
\n\nOn your feet, Nancy boy.
\n\nAny chance\nyou have the wrong room?
\n\nNo.
\n\nOn your feet, pal.
\n\nWhat's going on? Who are you?
\n\nRight, listen.
\n\nYous are all going to die\nin a few minutes.
\n\nNow, how you die, well,\nthat's up to doll-face here.
\n\nNow...
\n\nIs that a wean? For fuck's sake.\nI've not killed a wean for ages.
\n\n- Please. Please.\n- I've been watching you, hen.
\n\nLook at me\nwhen I'm talking to you.
\n\nYou're a pure ride, so you are.
\n\nI just got back\nfrom doing a wee job in Kabul.
\n\nYou've got more chance of getting\nlaid in nunnery than you have there.
\n\nMy balls, they are\nfucking busting, so they are.
\n\nSo if you'll just give us\na wee gobble,
\n\nyou can all have a dose\nof Mr Sweet Dreams here.
\n\nBut if you will nae...
\n\nwell, then, I'm afraid,\nit's going to get a wee bit messy.
\n\nSorry, but I don't understand\nanything that you just said.
\n\nFor fuck's sake, man!
\n\nDoes nae cunt speak English\nin this fucking country?
\n\nJust say it again, please.
\n\nIf... you... suck... my dick, huh?
\n\nYou got me so far? Capiche, no?
\n\nIf you suck my dick,\nI will kill you all quickly.
\n\nBut if no...
\n\nI will cut\nsoft lad's little prick off here
\n\nand stuff it in his fucking mouth.
\n\nComprende?\nAre you with me now?
\n\nThat's enough. Enough.\nLeave her alone.
\n\nOh, Anthony, Anthony,\ndon't do anything, please.
\n\nI don't usually like to interfere\nbut you're being a dick.
\n\nYou don't like to interfere?
\n\nHang on, son.\nHang on just a minute. Hang on.
\n\nHo ho ho!
\n\nFor fuck's sake, son!
\n\nYou just cannae get enough\nof the ball-booting.
\n\nYou cannae get enough of it,\nwee man.
\n\nCannae fucking get enough of it.\nSit doon.
\n\nNow, where were we?
\n\nCome on.\nSay, keep that wean quiet.
\n\nThat's it. Lick your lips.
\n\nHere comes the choo-choo.
\n\nOK, what just happened?
\n\nShit.
\n\nWho is it?
\n\nIt's Helen Bingham.
\n\nI've just saved your lives.\nWould you open the door, please?
\n\nOr should I call room service
\n\nto clean up\nthe dead body on your bed?
\n\nI'm not going to kill you.
\n\nYou can put the gun away now.
\n\nWho was that guy?
\n\nThat was a Mr Sean Moody,
\n\na priapic killer of some repute\nand my proposed replacement.
\n\nBut why'd his head blow off?
\n\nSub-sonic explosive tipped round.
\n\nHe deserved to go out with a bang.
\n\nWhat're you calling\nme for now, ya bastard?
\n\nWe've got a situation, Moody.
\n\nBingham got away.\nWatch your back.
\n\nThank you,\nDaniel. I'll pass that along.
\n\nWho's paying you to kill us?
\n\n- And why should we trust you?\n- Very good questions
\n\nbut right now, we need to get out\nof the country. Come along.
\n\nI'd very much appreciate it if\nyou didn't mention my profession.
\n\nOr the... fact that I... smoke.
\n\n- Hello, Mummy.\n- Oh, Helen!
\n\n- What a nice surprise!\n- Happy birthday, Mummy.
\n\nOh, darling,\nyou never forget, do you?
\n\n- Of course not.\n- And you've brought friends.
\n\nCome in, everybody.\nCome in, all of you.
\n\nThere we go. There we...
\n\nOh, my goodness!
\n\nWhat wonderful creature is this?
\n\nHis name is Alex.
\n\nAlex. He's beautiful. May I?
\n\nMm, yeah.
\n\nOoh!
\n\nMy goodness.
\n\n- He likes you.\n- Babies love me.
\n\nAnd I love babies.
\n\nThey're a blessing.
\n\nThey're life's way of making up\nfor the way it all inevitably ends.
\n\nYou know, we all start off
\n\nbeing wide-eyed little angels\nlike him...
\n\ndon't we, Helen?
\n\n- Yes, Mummy. Shall we go in?\n- Of course. Come on.
\n\nThis cake is just scrumptious.
\n\nI don't know how you did it\nwith what little I keep in.
\n\nOh, it's nothing.
\n\nHelen, darling,\nhave you gained weight?
\n\nI think perhaps you've\nhad enough of that sweet stuff.
\n\nDarling,\nyou're not a young girl any more.
\n\nYou need to take care of yourself.
\n\nI won't always be around\nto look after you, you know.
\n\nYes. Mummy,\nisn't it time you went back to bed?
\n\nIt's getting terribly late.
\n\nOh. All right, all right.\nI know when I'm not wanted.
\n\nAnd I do think all that sugar's\nmade me feel very tired.
\n\nNow, you know where the extra\nblankets and pillows are?
\n\nYes, course.
\n\nThank you all for a very,\nvery grand birthday party.
\n\nBless you. Darling.
\n\nI do love you, you know.
\n\n- Yes. Love you, too, Mummy.\n- Good night.
\n\n- Night-night.\n- Good night.
\n\n- Good night.\n- Good night, Mrs Bingham.
\n\nWell, that explains a lot.
\n\nNow, we need to\nget that hard drive back.
\n\nWon't he have wiped it clean already?
\n\nJakovic's company makes\nweapon systems for the military.
\n\nHe won't give that up.\nIt's leverage.
\n\nBut they'd both be finished\nif the film got out.
\n\nKrebb only needs to know\nthat Jakovic has it.
\n\nHe never needs to use it.\nIt's nuclear brinkmanship.
\n\nCat, what's wrong?
\n\nWhoa!\nWhere are you going with that?
\n\n- Cat?\n- Fuck all this shit.
\n\nYou killed Grushenka.
\n\nPut the gun away, child,\nyou'll hurt yourself.
\n\nHow can you just kill\ninnocent people?
\n\nI don't know. I've never met\nan innocent person.
\n\nThe only difference\nbetween our professions
\n\nis that when I blow people away,\nthey don't ejaculate on my breasts.
\n\nFeeling better?
\n\nTell me why\nI shouldn't just kill you now.
\n\nBecause there'll be another\nSean Moody along in a minute.
\n\nOr another Helen Bingham.
\n\nWe are the only people who know\nwhat's on that hard drive.
\n\nIf we don't find it\nand expose it to the world,
\n\nthen we're all dead.
\n\nI don't kill babies but my colleagues\nwould have no such compunction.
\n\nThey will find you and Alex,
\n\nand kill you in the most creative\nway they can possibly think of
\n\nand you will just disappear.
\n\nNow, shall we get back\nto business, my dear?
\n\nYou are going to\nget us into this party.
\n\nMe?
\n\nI hacked into the guest list.\nOne of your co-workers is on it.
\n\nYou need to give her a call
\n\nand offer her\ndouble what she's being paid.
\n\nAnd how's your Scottish accent?
\n\nScottish... Oh, it's terrible.
\n\nA wean? For fuck's sake.
\n\nI've not seen a wean for ages.
\n\nOh, dear.
\n\nI-I could try.
\n\nAye, is that a wean? Fuck's sake!\nI've not killed a wean for ages.
\n\n- Aye.\n- Lovely.
\n\nHello there.
\n\nlsabella?
\n\nHo ho!
\n\nI could fall in love with you,\nso I could.
\n\nMaurice did good.\nDriver, here's the parking pass.
\n\nDo you speak English?
\n\nHey, what are you doing?\nWhy are you stopping the car?
\n\nYour regular driver\ncouldn't make it tonight.
\n\nHey?
\n\n- Good evening.\n- Who the fuck are y...?
\n\nCould you open the trunk for us,\nplease?
\n\n- Aye.\n- Mr McPhee?
\n\nMr Angus Tyrone Denzel McPhee.
\n\n(RUSSIAN) Good evening
\n\n- You RSVPd one person, sir.\n- One whore or two, who cares?
\n\n- What difference does it make?\n- (SPEAKS SPANISH)
\n\n- (SHOUTS IN SPANISH)\n- It doesn't matter!
\n\n(SHOUTS IN SPANISH)
\n\nWould you calm down?
\n\nMove on. Move on, please.
\n\nDon't be nervous.
\n\nThis is the fun bit.
\n\nI'm fine.
\n\nHere we go.
\n\nWelcome.
\n\n- Good evening.\n- Aye, aye.
\n\nTesting, testing.
\n\n- Copy.\n- Copy.
\n\n- After you, my dear.\n- I'm downstairs with the drivers.
\n\nCome on through.
\n\nKeep calm. Keep smiling.
\n\nOh, "Ave Maria". How lovely.
\n\nThree security on the upper floor.
\n\nAre you sure we're\ngoing to get away with this?
\n\nAye.
\n\nThank you so much\nfor hosting this thing.
\n\nIt's a nice party, beautiful home,\nstunning daughters.
\n\nWould you like\na tour of the house?
\n\nHoney, er, let him catch\nhis breath, take a drink.
\n\nEveryone remember their assignments?
\n\nI'm a bit terrified, honestly.
\n\nOh, stiff upper lip, bro.
\n\nWhat, hoots, man. It's a braw,\nbricht, moonlicht nicht.
\n\n- You're Scottish?\n- I be, aye.
\n\nYou heard of a black lrish? Well,\nI be a black-eyed Scotsman, aye.
\n\n- Of course I am.\n- You don't look Scottish.
\n\nI don't look Scottish?
\n\nIs that what you said?
\n\nYou don't wanna know\nwhat you look like.
\n\nYou look like a one-legged gypsy\nwhore of a goat herder.
\n\nDon't make me slap you.
\n\nI lift my kilt, you see my boots.\nSee my black snake moan. Sss.
\n\n- It may bite you...\n- Is there a problem?
\n\n- Sir, we need you to calm down.\n- You want me to calm down?
\n\nDon't make me slap... Look\nat me when I'm talking to you.
\n\nExcuse me. You can't be up here.
\n\nI was looking for the ladies.\nI've broken my necklace.
\n\n- Go downstairs, please.\n- Would you hold that?
\n\nAll clear on the upper floor.
\n\nOn my way.
\n\n- Can I help you?\n- No, I'm good. Sorry.
\n\nThen get out.
\n\nKrebb's got a small army down here,\nfully armed. Just a heads up.
\n\nCome in.
\n\nAm I interrupting anything?
\n\n- Good evening, Daniel.\n- Helen.
\n\nI'm so glad you could make it.
\n\nI like your new look.
\n\nWell, thank you.
\n\nYou look... marvellous.
\n\nYou look very elegant, yourself.
\n\nIs it morning already?
\n\nExcuse me?
\n\nI just saw the sun rise,\nand it's blinding me.
\n\nI have to introduce a political film,\nsame old stuff,
\n\n- but afterwards, we could...\n- Be terribly naughty?
\n\nOh, I'd like that.\nI'd like that a lot.
\n\nSir, it's time for your speech.
\n\nPromise me you'll wait?
\n\nSay the magic word.
\n\nLadies and gentlemen,\nplease welcome Mr William Krebb.
\n\nThank you so much.
\n\nFirst, on behalf of myself and\nall the people of the USA,
\n\nthank you to our gracious hosts\nfor opening their beautiful home.
\n\nIvana and Branco Jakovic.
\n\nHow about a hand for them?
\n\nThrough my travels\nthroughout this region,
\n\nI have felt only warmth\nand welcome in their home,
\n\nand have shown me an excellent time\nin their beautiful country.
\n\nSpeaking of beautiful countries,\nI don't know how you do it
\n\nbut the women here\nare absolutely gorgeous.
\n\nMust be something in the water.
\n\nI don't suppose Razwell was\nany trouble.
\n\nNo, no, no, Bob was a sweetheart.
\n\n- Thank you, Daniel.\n- My pleasure.
\n\n- Who is it?\n- It's me.
\n\nCome in.
\n\n- Who's this?\n- I'm an associate.
\n\nHi, how are you?
\n\nI'm fine.
\n\nI'm assuming you have access\nto various slush funds
\n\non behalf of your employer.
\n\nIf you'd transfer\nall you can lay your hands on
\n\ninto this account,\nI'd be most grateful.
\n\nNow, I have\na little audio-visual programme,
\n\nif I can figure out\nhow to work this.
\n\n- Sir, can I help?\n- This way? Yeah.
\n\n- There you go.\n- Well, that was easy. Thank you.
\n\nI got the disk. I'm on my way.
\n\nFor the record, Helen,\nit wasn't my idea.
\n\nOf course not. Powers that be.
\n\nLet's see how we've done.
\n\n17 million and change.\nOh, yummy.
\n\n- Are you sure you're up for this?\n- Damn you.
\n\nAs many of you know, I have\nbeen travelling through the region
\n\nassuring our allies that\nthe anti-ballistic missile shield
\n\nwill give our troops\nand our allies in Eastern Europe
\n\na new level of safety and security.
\n\nQueensberry Rules?
\n\nOf course.
\n\nNice.
\n\n(SERBO-CROATIAN)\nWhat are you doing here?
\n\nNeed to replace the HDMl\nand reroute the components.
\n\nIf we don't get 1080p video,\nwe're all dead. I'm with ATl.
\n\nUnderstand?\nIt means, get the fuck out.
\n\nWe have been facing a challenging\nand complex new set of threats
\n\nfor this region.
\n\nlran's ballistic missiles prove to\nbe a significant risk to this area.
\n\nThe proposed ground-based...\ninterceptors...
\n\n..will...
\n\nWill what?
\n\nNaughty, naughty.
\n\nYou didn't say the magic word.
\n\n- You must be Mrs Jakovic.\n- Yes.
\n\nI can't believe I've been here\nso many times and we never met.
\n\nWho on earth is this person?
\n\nI'm one of your husband's whores.
\n\nLet's see, hmm.
\n\n"America's commitment\nto its allies."
\n\nWell, if that commitment includes\ncovering up sodomy and murder,
\n\nI guess Branco and Bill here\nare your guys.
\n\n- That's enough of that.\n- No, it's not enough. Not nearly.
\n\nHome movie time.
\n\nStop! What are you doing?
\n\nOh, my God!
\n\nWhat did you do?!
\n\nSabina! Sabina!
\n\nWake up.
\n\n- Take this... Get it off now.\n- Someone stop him!
\n\nNOW!
\n\n(SERBO-CROATIAN)\nWhat are you doing? Come with me.
\n\nWhoo!
\n\n- You're beautiful.\n- Ready for more?
\n\nNo-one in or out.\nFull containment.
\n\n- Full containment. Understood.\n- OK, guys, we're on. Let's go.
\n\nDo you need a moment?
\n\nStop. Hands up. Now.
\n\nWho the hell are you?
\n\nI'm Carver's man. How do you do?
\n\nAh, it's nice to finally meet you.
\n\nEverybody\nmove into the main ballroom.
\n\nMove, please.
\n\nLet's go. Main ballroom. Move.
\n\nYou two, Pixie and Dixie,\nhow do you fit into all this?
\n\nWe're private investigators.
\n\nThat's great.
\n\nWhy is that funny?\nMan, we got a website.
\n\nDon't forget all those people\njust saw that tape.
\n\nAh, yes, those poor people.
\n\nlnnocent victims\nof another terrorist atrocity.
\n\nWhat are you using there? C4?\nHMX?
\n\nWhat is this, 1982?
\n\nThis is ONC, Octanitrocubane.
\n\nThe most powerful non-nuclear\nexplosive in development.
\n\nA sugar cube of this shit\nwould take out a tank.
\n\nMy, my. You're really\ngoing all the way, aren't you?
\n\nYes, I'm all in on this hand.
\n\nExcuse me, please.
\n\nLadies and gentlemen,\nmay I have your attention?
\n\nWe have an active situation.\nGunmen are on the premises.
\n\nWe are keeping you in here\nfor your safety.
\n\nWe have refreshments for you.
\n\nHopefully, the matter will be\nresolved quickly.
\n\n- Did somebody call the cops?\n- Nobody wants any food.
\n\nBill, wait, you can't do it.
\n\nCome on, Bill, my wife\nand daughters are downstairs.
\n\nSir, now's the time to leave.
\n\n- Take care of them.\n- Yes, sir.
\n\n- Is the code all set?\n- Yes, sir. Just hit send.
\n\nLike to blow up\na lot of this country.
\n\nExcept for the beautiful women.
\n\nWhat are you doing?
\n\nWait. Before you shoot us all,
\n\nthere's just one thing\nI wanted to do before I die.
\n\nDown! Down! Down!
\n\nWhat's our contingency plan?
\n\nWe need to get you in the air\nimmediately.
\n\nThere's a bird standing by\nat a private airstrip.
\n\nI'm working on a plan\nto make this all disappear.
\n\nPay attention.\nGo out the back way.
\n\nI have a little business\nto attend to.
\n\nCatalina. Take this.
\n\n- What is it?\n- Something for a rainy day.
\n\nI'm sorry about your friend.
\n\nIt's the job.
\n\nNumbs you.
\n\nLook after Mummy, will you?
\n\nJesus.
\n\nCome on. Go, go.
\n\nOh, man.
\n\nAAAARGHHHH!
\n\nGod forgive me.
\n\nWho am I kidding? Here goes.
\n\nIt's not connecting.
\n\n- You push "send", right?\n- Yes. The code is set.
\n\nWhat the helI's wrong\nwith this thing?
\n\nAre you OK?
\n\n(SERBO-CROATIAN) I have a bomb!\nGet back! Move!
\n\nAh, yeah, yeah, here it goes.
\n\n- You got it?\n- Yeah, let's go.
\n\n- What the fuck?\n- Spot of tea?
\n\nDo you need a moment?
\n\nShit.
\n\nI was just starting to like her, too.
\n\nShe was cool. Killer cool.
\n\nGood afternoon.\nJu-An Detective Agency.
\n\nCan you hold, please?
\n\nJeffrey Leeds on line three.
\n\nThere it is. I'm on the news.
\n\nHey, baby, how's it going?
\n\nHi, there.
\n\nHey, we're on the news again.
\n\n- Did Julian say anything stupid?\n- I don't know yet. How's it going?
\n\nGreat.\nI've found an amazing house.
\n\nAre you still\ncoming over next week?
\n\nYeah, the flight gets in at 1 1 .
\n\nI gotta go. Julian's interview's\non. I'll see you on Friday.
\n\n- I love you.\n- I love you, too. Bye.
\n\nWhat's going on?\nWhat are you saying?
\n\nHey, man, check it out.
\n\nYou look good. You look sharp.
\n\nI always look sharp.
\n\nOh, watch, watch.
\n\nYou're not supposed to look\nin the camera.
\n\n- That's cool.\n- You gotta talk to her.
\n\n- ...at www. ...\n- And that's the shocking story.
\n\nIt's a little tacky,\nusing the news for advertising.
\n\nYou gotta strike while the iron\nis hot. Carpe diem. Seize the day.
\n\nYou know? Feed the beast.\nGet it while the getting's good.